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00:00:01
EP 79: I Don't Want To Mom Today
2.1k Plays1 year ago
Some days, being a mom feels like climbing a mountain with no end in sight. In this episode, we dive into the raw and relatable topic of having those days when you just don’t want to mom. Whether it’s exhaustion, overwhelm, or simply needing a break, we all have moments when motherhood feels like too much. And that’s okay. We talk about how to honor those feelings, show up for our kids anyway, and give ourselves grace during the hard days.
We also kick off the episode with an honest and vulnerable conversation about postpartum body image and the mindset shifts we’ve had to make. From learning to appreciate what our bodies have done to finding a balance between self-love and wanting to feel our best, this chat is one you won’t want to miss.
What to Expect in This Episode:
- Real talk about those “I don’t want to mom today” moments and how to navigate them.
- A candid discussion about postpartum body image and the mental shifts that help us stay grounded.
- Encouragement and tips for giving yourself grace during the tough days.
- Why it’s okay to not be supermom every single day—and how to normalize the ebbs and flows of motherhood.
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Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
I think there's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it.
Introduction of Hosts and Podcast
00:00:14
Speaker
What up moms? I'm Whitney Williams and I'm here with my best friend, Candice, and we're the Mom Group Chat Podcast. Good morning. Hi. We were just um having a little chit chat. and We were.
Honest Conversations about Self-Image
00:00:31
Speaker
i we yeah go ahead i was gonna yeah We were just having a conversation because we always like, Winnie and I chat before we like press record, you know, and we were just having a very honest, like real conversation about how we're feeling about ourselves. And I was like, honestly, we should press record and just like have this conversation with listeners because I feel like it ah like is relevant and a lot of people would feel very seen with this conversation. Yeah, not only as a mom, but just like as a girl, like, yeah, my god, body, body image.
00:01:07
Speaker
not feeling like your best, especially after the holidays. I mean, we had talked about how you gain weight after the holidays. I had just recently um had surgery and I had to get on the scale, which I haven't done and in probably since September, to be honest, um because I haven't really like put my health or like, I haven't really been tracking anything. So I haven't put it forth, forth, whatever.
00:01:34
Speaker
Anyway, yeah I got on the scale and I was just like telling Candice, I cannot believe I'm here. And I know that we always talk about, like we're always yeah body positive. like We kind of are the people. We are beautiful because everyone is beautiful. I feel like every girl understands the like dichotomy of understanding that like our bodies are beautiful and amazing and that moms come in all shapes and sizes and all of that stuff, but like you can also feel shitty about where you're at and like not feeling confident and not feeling your best and like those two things can coexist.
Impact of Insecurity on Confidence
00:02:15
Speaker
But this kind of ties into the topic today because like when you're not feeling your best, it's really hard to show up like confidently in every aspect of your life, whether that's like work or home or social or marriage. like It's really hard.
00:02:31
Speaker
I totally agree. And I was telling her, I was like, I don't know. there I think everyone has that threshold number where they're like, oh my God, how did I get here? like yeah Who am I? This is not me. I cannot believe it. And I was telling her that when I got on the scale, I was like, Candice, I cannot believe that I let myself do this. and I was just telling her, and this might sound so stupid and superficial, but I was like, now that I've moved and I have a fricking pool, like I was saying, I am that person that has a pool. I'm now that person that has to be in their bathing suit all the fucking time. And I was like, I am self-conscious about that. Chris is so gung-ho. He works out all the time. He's always whatever about the pool.
00:03:25
Speaker
me on the other other hand, I'm like, what towels can I wear over my body? Yeah, no I totally get that because the way that we've lived our lives and I don't have a pool either. And I even live in Florida where like a pool is super like readily available to me, but still it's not in my backyard to where the kids are going to be in it all the time. And Like the pool most of the time and like being in a bathing suit is like a special occasion type thing. It like happens once in a blue moon. And now it's like, I feel like you might be in a bathing suit as often as you're like in a dress. Like do you know what I mean? And that can feel really scary if you're not like feeling super confident about your body at the moment.
00:04:12
Speaker
I guess it's like I really noticed the way I was feeling because we had so many um friends come by and that they've seen the house and how excited everyone is about the pool but me. That's like when I noticed it, everyone's like, oh my God, I'm gonna be here all summer. And I'm like, no, don't do that to me. And I'm like, what is wrong with me? Yeah, it sucks, it sucks that It sucks being a woman, honestly, because it that is the kind of thing that can like ruin this amazing thing that is now a part of your life. like It is so fucking awesome that you have a pool now and that you're gonna be able to like remember these moments of you and the kids in the pool. Yeah, which I don't mind us in the pool.
00:05:08
Speaker
It's whenever, yeah. yeah um I don't know. I'm just in that post Christmas blues. And then I was like, Oh my God, I've been like really sleeping in. I really haven't been moving. I was like, what am I like in like a post depression of Christmas time post surgery?
Struggles with Health and Lifestyle Priorities
00:05:30
Speaker
Like, ah Oh my goodness. Yeah. I mean, first of all, you've had so much going on. Like you just had surgery.
00:05:38
Speaker
It's like the holidays. There's so much going on. You moved but right before I know, but I should. That's the thing. I should be happy. Like I'm in a beautiful new house. I have an awesome job that I'm loving. I'm like, what is going on? I literally hate that.
00:05:56
Speaker
Like, I don't know. I struggle with that mentality. Like I, even like with us in the floods, like people are like, yes, you and your family are safe. Like that's what matters. And like, yeah, I know that, but like, it still sucks. And like, you can feel that same way about this situation being like, I, yes, we moved into this beautiful house. I had this beautiful pool while also being like, that is daunting to me that I am now.
00:06:21
Speaker
have to live this lifestyle of like being in a bathing suit all the time while juggling 10 other things. Like the thought of having to change a bunch of stuff to like get your body on track just because you own a pool. Like that's annoying. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, it's funny. Like, cause I kind of brought it up to Chris. I was like, Oh my gosh, da da da.
00:06:48
Speaker
And he's like, it's kind of crazy how much you you think about all of this. He's like, cause he's never had to think about it cause he's never been overweight. yeah Like he is like, whoa, like it really consumes a lot of your day. And I'm like, ah does it? Like this is just me.
00:07:07
Speaker
No, same, it's been like that my whole life because I have struggled with my weight in the past. like So yeah, i I envy those people who have never had to have like truly, it's been a background noise in my head my whole life. Yeah, the thing with this is like, there is a fix. and yeah Yeah, you just have i to. I mean,
00:07:36
Speaker
i mean Yeah, there is a fix. And obviously you just have to get in the right mindset, which diet culture, oh my gosh, what a yo-yo throughout my life. Like I was in a really good spot um from my 2017 until 2021. Like I had a good routine where I was kind of eating whatever I wanted because I had already like done the calorie deficit thing. And then I was maintaining like those three years just by working out and
00:08:08
Speaker
I mean, you just got to put the work up front, which is easier said than done so hard. It's so much harder now as a mom, like to prioritize that. It takes a lot of communication with like your tribe. I hate that word actually, but like your people, your husband, your childcare, your whatever, like even work like you have to prioritize it and not can feel so hard with kids, especially like in the season of like sick kids and stuff. I don't know. Like my sleep last night was so terrible. I feel like I couldn't even go to work out last day if I wanted to, but also I'm saying that in like, could I? I could, but like, it's hard to think that I could when I slept four hours, you know?
00:09:01
Speaker
Oh my God, four hours. Well, mine, it was really fun. I mean, I'm an exaggerating. It was five hours and 25 minutes. See that me knowing that would piss me off today. Well, I knew it was this bad. I didn't even I like even I don't even have to look at it. I and night and just don't. But yeah, I don't know. I definitely need to.
Inspiration to Model Healthy Habits
00:09:25
Speaker
I want to prioritize my health and well being. I also listen to an old episode of Armchair Expert recently that made me like, I don't know, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. It was, and again, this is not related to diet and exercise necessarily, but it was within this, you know, like Billie Eilish's brother. And he was talking about how he grew up, like he watched his mom sit at the piano and write songs like his whole life.
00:09:58
Speaker
And he was like, so that was real. That was tangible. That is something that people did. So like, when I started to do that, it wasn't weird to me because I watched my mom do it my whole life. And like, there's so many things that I think, when I heard that, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna start doing those things that I want my kids to know, like happening, and that they, it's real, and that it's good to prioritize these things. And one of those things like is,
00:10:28
Speaker
eating healthy and working out and living a healthy lifestyle. Like if that truly does. If I want that for my kids, I can start with us. Yeah. And we have not done a good job of prioritizing that. I got to get my husband to stop eating cop tarts and crunch. But Vinnie is the guy of the people who literally what is he's another one that like could eat whatever he wants and his body will never change ever. Like.
00:10:57
Speaker
And that's just so nice for him. The other thing I wanted to say and towards the beginning of this was like, you know, you and I had a meeting yesterday just about like mom group chat stuff. And I felt like you were acting different or like not your full like zesty Whitney. And I like pressed you on it. and can he's Like, why don't you like me? And I'm like, what are you talking about? I was like, wow, she hates me. Like she wants to quit the show. I was like fully spiraling. And then
00:11:30
Speaker
I i' like ah confronted you about it and was like, hey, like are we okay? I need some words of affirmation. like are you Do you love me? like Are you happy? Do you still want to do the show? And you were like, yes, like i all is good. But then you like kind of told me like I'm feeling shitty about myself. I feel like it's like affecting how I show up.
00:11:54
Speaker
And I feel like that is such a real like thing that doesn't get talked about very
Self-Image and Social Interactions
00:12:00
Speaker
much. Like it's one thing to like feel that way when during the summertime like innovating soup, but like feeling that way about your body does affect these moments that like you wouldn't think that they would show up at, you know? It's just, I haven't had that feeling in such a long time because I put that on the back burner and I'm like, oh, I don't care about that. like I'm busy doing other things. like I'm taking care of my kids. I'm busy with work, like whatever. So I haven't felt that like zing of a, like wow, that affected my whole day.
00:12:36
Speaker
in a really long time. um And so, yeah, yesterday when I got on the scale, it like kind of put me in a bad mood all day. um Yeah. And where I was like put out a little bit. And I remember that used to happen to me like any time someone took a picture of me and I saw it. That happens to me the rest of the night.
00:12:57
Speaker
Like if I don't like what I see and I was like I'm such a superficial Like what the hell I am in a bad mood and I was trying to bring myself out of it just by like being busy and I Don't know it really like ah shook me so yeah um Okay, this is a personal question. yeah Hopefully you'll answer, but also you can tell me no. Where are you in your cycle right now?
00:13:29
Speaker
Like my period? Yeah. That's not personal. Oh, okay. I don't know. Some people are weird about that stuff. Oh, I don't care. Um, I had my period on the third or fourth. So, okay.
00:13:47
Speaker
because I have started to really notice the parts of my cycle are very pronounced these days. like yeah like I really do have the most energy and feel the most confident in all that stuff during that ovulation week or week and a half. And then right now I'm about to get my period on Friday, hopefully. If I don't, I swear to God, I'm like literally nervous about it, I'm not gonna lie.
00:14:15
Speaker
I already have been having, I'm sorry, that's like a total tangent, but like I'm already having this fear or that I'm gonna like have to take a pregnancy test and it's gonna be positive. I'm gonna freak the fuck out. But, anyways. You know what causes that, Candice? Sex.
00:14:34
Speaker
She's can't. Okay. Anyways, I, in this period where I'm getting close to my period, I'm like, so I feel so much, I look at myself in the mirror and I'm like, I am a fucking bridge troll. Like I'm so but like, I cannot even look at myself in the mirror. Um, yeah, I like.
00:14:55
Speaker
randomly. i don't I haven't like tracked my period as much since whatever. It kind of shocked me when I got it. Cause I had surgery on January 2nd and then I got my period like two days later and I was like, God, I feel like even worse. Now I'm so so bloated. yeah and i And I was like crampy with my belly button, sitch. And I was like, what is what? Who is who?
00:15:21
Speaker
And I was just like, yeah, you like don't know which. I'm like, I'm feeling like shit right now. Uh, what is it like? It triggered your body into gear. It was like, wait a second. We got to just clear house here. Yeah. It panicked. It's like, ah, get out of here. But yeah, anyway, and I didn't mean to like start this off by self loathing. It it was more of a like.
00:15:47
Speaker
the wake up call that I have probably six times a year. yeah Yeah. So, okay. Let's talk like future. Then did you talk to Chris about like starting to put a little bit more effort in like to that aspect of your life or like what you're going to do to help you feel better? I'm not going to lie. Like sometimes I'm scared to like tell Chris that I'm, I want to do something because he's so into it.
00:16:13
Speaker
with We are the same fucking person. I i will feel that way to where I'm like, but Vinny takes it to the extreme. And like, do you want to come walk with me? Like I'm on the bike going on the bike at five. Like, do you want to walk on the walking pad? I'm like, I kind of want to do it like on my own time. I don't want you telling me what to do.
00:16:34
Speaker
Yeah, and also any will just be like, all right, we won't have any carbs for six months. And I'm like, okay, calm down. Like, or also like, if I want, because like, let's be real, if I am on a diet, per se, or trying to watch what I eat, like, I am never gonna be the girl that is eating clean perfectly for 100%. I'm sorry, that's just not who I am. I love a nacho. Okay, I love a burger. I will have a cheat meal. That's just who I am. And it's not going to one cheap ale here and there, but Vinny's the type, if you're listening to this Vinny, I love you so much, but he's the type who'll be like, are you sure that's what you want? you You're trying to eat healthy. I'm like, get off my dick. I just want this burger right now. Okay. Clip it. Um, no for real though. Like I think it's just, he is always in that like healthy mindset. And so like, it's like, it comes easy to him.
00:17:30
Speaker
Yeah. And it's almost like I secretly want to do it. And and you know, there's like a ah study where you finally like mentally lean into a routine after 21
Planning a Secret Health Challenge
00:17:42
Speaker
days. Like it takes that long for you to like fully invest into something. And yes, you can cheat along the way, but like once your mindset's there, I'm good. It's like, I need that secret 21 days to myself where I'm there. And then, yeah, I'll probably will wanna walk on the walking pad with you at 5 a.m. because I'm umm mentally ready.
00:18:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's like's that push apart like I don't want to do it. Totally. It's like you don't want to bring him into the fold until you're like already in the right place. Yeah. Like let me get ahead a little, which I feel that way with everything in my life. If someone's ahead of me, I put my arm out. Like I am stiff hold. Like, no, you're ahead of me. Like I now I don't want to do it because you're too far ahead of me. Like us we're not on the same page. Yeah.
00:18:33
Speaker
I do a lot of work too. I know. It's like, so I'll be like, let's strategize on budget. Like I crunched all the numbers to like the night before and I'm like, can you give me a day? Like, so I can be there too. Now I'm panicking, you know, things like that. I'm just like, totally. I think, I think I'm going to do this with you and do a secret 21 day.
00:18:59
Speaker
Like, I'm not going to talk to you. I started yesterday. I started yesterday. I'm going to start. Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to start today. This is a latte, but I don't think that's that big of a deal. It's liquid. Yeah. We're off to a great start. I had a coffee. I don't care. I don't know how much creamer I put in it. Yeah. No, that's not like my coffee isn't making me fat. Okay. It's not.
00:19:25
Speaker
Um, yeah, I'm going to do this with you because I feel the same way and we'll keep you guys updated. Chris listens, but pretend you don't know what I'm doing. Chris Vinny doesn't listen. So, um, yeah, for me it's movement and working out is not my.
00:19:45
Speaker
problem like and I'm not even gonna go to a workout class I don't think I'm even cleared to do that nor do yeah have I don't know I don't want to right now I am trying to concentrate on walking and what I'm putting in my guzzle okay so I started to eat better yesterday. I already feel like debloaded today. But man, you know, three weeks is all it takes to change everything.
00:20:17
Speaker
Okay. This is our secret glow up challenge. If you're interested, and we ten and the we're yeah telling but I'm really not telling anyone else in my life.
00:20:28
Speaker
So if you don't notice any changes, you didn't hear this, okay? Just keep your mouth shut. Keep your guzzle shut. Keep your guzzle. Put the muzzle on the guzzle. Well, this is like not at all what this episode was not to be a was supposed to be about, but I feel
Challenges in Parenting Duties
00:20:45
Speaker
like it does relate. today We were going to talk about like the idea of I don't want a mom today, like those days when you wake up and you're just like, today is not my day.
00:20:55
Speaker
I don't want a mom today. Everything feels harder than it should be. I'm not in the right mindset and like how to get through those days because I don't know about y'all, but I'm having a lot of those days recently. I am too. And I'm just wondering if it's like this time of year, you know, where you're kind of like stuck inside. It's dark out earlier. Are we all just seasonally depressed? It is a thing.
00:21:23
Speaker
it is show I used to get it bad when I lived in New York City for real. I don't know if I've ever like cared until I have had kids. like I love winter um and I love snow. like I live fucking lived in Rhode Island where it snowed all the time, but like ever since having kids, there's something about the feeling of being stuck in your house that sucks. It's not fun. Yeah.
00:21:52
Speaker
It, that's, that definitely like happens to people. It's, it gets dark so early. Yeah. Like the food, I think is like heavier and warmer. Like, I don't know. It's like. When does it start getting like, when does that shift change to when it's getting lighter? We've already had the longest day of the year. I actually think it was, or the, sorry, the shortest day of the year. I think it was on my birthday actually.
00:22:19
Speaker
Um, so we're already like on the ah of house poker day minute by minute. It's soon. and I know the daylight savings shift is, um, in March. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That'll that'll change our life, but think.
00:22:38
Speaker
If we're like two months in by then, we're gonna be like, snatched by daylight savings. Snatched by daylight savings. Bitch, I'm gonna come out of the shadows looking snatched. It'll be like Groundhog Day, but... And if I don't see like a skinnier shadow, I go back in my hole.
00:23:06
Speaker
Oh my god, that is so funny. Should we take a more picture of us like coming out of a hole and then? Honestly, I'm dressed like a groundhog today in this beige sweater. Oh my god, we're going to look back at these videos and be like, look how far we've come. Come on, we can do it. Oh my god, that made me laugh so hard thinking about you coming out from behind a rock. Like a groundhog.
00:23:39
Speaker
but yeah um anyways i are we okay i don't know we're not ok I feel I have a little bit of a hot take when it comes to this like I don't want a mom today mentality because I feel like a lot most people would say and like things you see on Instagram would say like okay here are the ways you can like snap out of it and hear the mindset shifts, which like those things are great at work. But my hot take is if you wake up and are truly having one of those days where you're like, I don't want a mom today.
00:24:16
Speaker
i I feel like what if you didn't? Like, oh yeah, like I feel like now's the day of like, okay, do you have any babysitters in your back pocket? Like, do you have a girl in your neighborhood who wants to be a mama's helper and maybe you could text her mom and be like, Hey, is Abigail available today to hang out with the kids while you have a little bit of a break?
00:24:46
Speaker
Or do you have family in town and you could text them and be like, hey, I'm really struggling today. Like any chance you could take the kids for any amount of time. yeah Like I feel like sometimes it's okay to just admit defeat and be like, listen, I don't want a mom today and I'm gonna lean on my tribe. The second time I'm using that word that I hate. What's the other word? I'm gonna lean on my,
00:25:15
Speaker
support village that's all really I'm gonna lean on my village and see who can help out because I guarantee there's someone in your village that is willing to that would be thrilled to help out and the another idea is like are there any play areas like indoor play, you know those indoor play, play cities, whatever, where you could schedule a time and take the kids there and there'll be other kids for them to play with and you can just like take a breath while they're there. Yeah, I just feel like sometimes it's okay to just admit that you need a break and to see how you can get that break, even if it's something that you wouldn't do on a normal basis. I don't know. what That's my update.
00:26:06
Speaker
i mean i Agree, like I see how some people like it comes so easily to snap out of that mindset and I do try and I try to like.
00:26:19
Speaker
be that happy mom as much as possible, but really the only thing that makes me feel better if I do have that feeling is getting that break. I know. And even if it's like, honestly, all you really need is two hours and it can like change your whole life.
00:26:38
Speaker
um or your whole like shift in your head. And um even if it's just, I don't know, getting out of the house, like you said, having someone to come help for like a second, or if your spouse is home being like, I really need and yeah you.
00:26:55
Speaker
Um, damn, I had a train of thought that I was going to say and I got, but the, I don't want a mom today is I'm feeling that so hard all of a sudden.
Parenting Struggles and Coping Mechanisms
00:27:07
Speaker
I don't know if it's like Graydon being three and he's doing that three nager stuff. Like.
00:27:12
Speaker
all of a sudden he's scared again, which I've mentioned on our instagram Instagram stories where he's waking up and I'm like, are these like growth, every three month growth spurts? Like because he hasn't done it since um like November. And I'm like, okay, it's like clockwork all of a sudden.
00:27:31
Speaker
He's getting that like defiant, he's pushing bedtime, he's crying when we're putting him in the bed all of a sudden. He's been fine this whole time since we moved in since Thanksgiving. Oh my God, he's waking up in the night sobbing up for an hour and a half and I'm like, what the hell is happening? Great. My guy. Get it together. Chris and I are like,
00:27:57
Speaker
something's up like he he's hard like when you mentioned that like Alice wakes up and you put the blanket back over her like are you able just to go lay back down or is she up for a while no she goes right back down like she'll just cry and talk about the covers moving and then I'll say okay like I will fix your covers and I do I put the blankets on and then usually she lays back down and it's fine and goes back to sleep And this is why I say that, and I joke about it, but this is why I say I'm scared of Graydon because he's almost like neurotic or something. Like he will cling onto something and it's really hard to like figure out with him. Like he i was up for an hour and a half last night and I'm like crying. Why?
00:28:50
Speaker
I don't, yeah. And it's, he wants to get in our bed all of a sudden and we're we haven't had him in the bed in a really long time. Anyway, that's going down a whole fricking rabbit hole of whatever, but man, it's gotten, it's in this little hard section. I like go through like webs and flows with his total little little attitude. Well, I think it's also really a normal feeling to wake up and be like, I don't want to fucking do this today. Like.
00:29:20
Speaker
Think about, I mean, like i don't like being a mom is such a specific thing. like Think about work. Hardly anyone has to get up and do their job every single day of their life for the rest of eternity.
00:29:38
Speaker
ok mock Being a mom, you have committed to getting up every day and taking care of this these human beings. And yes, of course, they will get older and you know become more self-sufficient and independent, but it doesn't change the fact that you're like, I don't think, like I think you're thinking about them forever and worrying about them.
00:30:02
Speaker
and like It's draining. It's draining. And it's not an abnormal thought. I don't think for you to wake up and be like, God, I really do. I have to do this every day. I got to do this every day. It's like that saying that, like, how could I be so lucky to, like, love someone this much that right I know it hurts.
00:30:26
Speaker
I got a lot of you so much. I know. I saw a thing about them wanting to get in your bed because like Alice has. Oh, I saw that because it's our safes. Whatever. i Yeah. It was like it was like something about like, ah you know, how sweet that they have like a warm safe bed and all they want to do is be close to you like a bed or whatever, which makes you want to put them in the bed. But I know. But if that's another thing, if I do that with Graydon,
00:30:55
Speaker
game fucking over for real like he will cling on to that for dear life and and he will wake up in the middle of the night for the test of time knowing that that is a potential.
00:31:09
Speaker
Well, yeah, so that's, we've gotten ourselves into a tough situation with Alice. Even though she'll go back to sleep in the middle of the night, she's been doing this thing where she gets up at 5am, sometimes 4.30 and she wants to come in our bed and just snuggle for the rest of the morning. And sometimes she'll go back to sleep sometimes, but also sometimes she sits there and it's a hundred questions before 5am. She's like, do you have my iPad?
00:31:39
Speaker
Where am I going today? Like, just in my ear, I'm like, girl, I'm trying to sleep. and So like I try really hard, not like I will go in there most of the time and be like, it's not time. It's still, I just tell her it's the middle of the night. You have to go back to sleep. But this morning she threw a huge fit. She was in our bed at five 30, which Vinnie is already, Vinnie's leaving for work at that time. And the fact that she sees him getting up and like going, she's like, Oh, it's time. We're awake. yeah like's Time to be awake. And this morning specifically, I didn't shower last night, which I always shower in the night, but
00:32:16
Speaker
I don't know what happened last night. So I needed to shower this morning and I planned to do it before I got the girls out of bed. I was going to get up at six and shower. Well, that was ruined because Alice woke up and I ended up just being like, listen, you stay here in the bed. Mommy's going to go shower. And it wasn't the end of the world. It was fine. up fine.
00:32:37
Speaker
And the shower did make me feel better because I'm not going to lie. Before that, I did have the, I'm not, I don't want to do this today. Well, good for you. I feel like, I don't know. It's just been so hard. And everyone says like, Oh, you're in that hard phase because you're being needed by two, two babies, two toddlers, toddler and a baby. Like.
00:33:02
Speaker
I don't know it's um and know. We don't have the option not to. So even if you feel like you don't want to, your feelings are valid. Yeah. I would say, I mean, all of our normal tips like apply to this as well, what we always say about like getting out of the house.
00:33:22
Speaker
It does change the game when you don't feel like you want a mom. Even for me, like just going for a drive is a break sometimes. I will put the girls in the car and we'll go for a 30, 40 minute drive. I feel like what you said, getting out of the house.
00:33:42
Speaker
is probably like number one, number two is having some sort of plan. I always just go back to what Shannon said. Get out of the house in the morning, have an activity in the afternoon. It doesn't have to be rocket science here. Yeah. And also, if you have to bend the rules on certain things like screen time or whatever, like don't beat yourself up
Affirmation and Support for Parents
00:34:04
Speaker
on it. You can get back to whatever you normally do tomorrow or the next day. like It's okay if you have to bend the rules like to get you through the day. I can't tell you how many times I've done that. I've just been like, listen, will this piece of candy shut you up for five seconds? like Eat the candy. Tomorrow, I'm literally back setting boundaries with the candy, whatever. We were literally talking off-camera, once again, how lenient we've gotten as like second-time parents. Oh, yeah.
00:34:38
Speaker
I had an interaction at daycare where like I pulled Margo out of the car because sometimes I'll let them eat in the car on the way to school. and I pulled her out of the car and she had food all over her. and This mom came up that's like friends with um or her daughter's like friends with Margo. They're actually really cute. and um She was like, oh This is why I don't let my kid eat in the car. And I was like, that'll change when you got to like, there's just so many like funny little rules when you have one that you're like, I'm not bending on that. I don't want this in my car. Now I'm like, whatever's easiest, whatever's going to get us out the door. I don't care. Literally.
00:35:21
Speaker
And say it's funny. I know we've talked about this too of like the way I used to dress Alice like for every occasion. And now I'm like, if we've got clothes on, we're fine. Like the effort I put into Evie's clothes compared to what I did for Alice when she was that age, like night and day, ah night and day. I feel that. I mean, I still like.
00:35:44
Speaker
Even though I still dress Margo, if I see something, I'll buy it. But like even compared to like when she was like a potato newborn slash like six months slash nine months, like I dressed her so much cuter then than I do now because I'm like, she's ruining everything. Everything's getting destroyed. and Now that Evie eats all the time and is moving and drool, she's also like, I can't put anything on her. It'll be ruined within an hour.
00:36:12
Speaker
No, it never fucking fails. I bought this, y'all, I bought this really cute like two piece set and it was $70. She stained it with a blueberry immediately to the point where I had to scrub the shit out of it. And now it's like a white, like it's kind of frayed where I scrubbed it so hard. And I'm like, I'm an idiot. why do i What am I doing? and i that that has that is so me coded i was so exactly something i would do they I was like how did a blueberry like anyway so crazy yeah I mean this became like a yeah ah data dump of our brain a little bit but yeah I mean sorry we don't have like
00:37:00
Speaker
amazing advice like obviously I'm not an expert in this but it was more so like I just needed to get all this off my chest totally I feel like this episode is more just like a real talk with y'all of like how we're feeling about our bodies about mommy it's all fucking hard okay and we're all just doing our best and tomorrow I'll be a better mom, I promise. We're doing our best. Yeah, we're doing our best. And so are you out there. And if you woke up today and you don't want a mom, please don't beat yourself up over it. like it the This is hard. And every day is like you're winning just by showing up and like being there.
00:37:45
Speaker
Yeah. And if you want to be on a secret 21 day challenge with Candice and I slide in. Yeah. If you want to do a groundhog's day challenge, slide into our D DMS with a secret message and we will tell no one and we can track our progress together.
00:38:01
Speaker
Sounds good. Alright, love you groundhogs. Love you my little nuggets. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page so make sure you're following along over there. Alright gotta go my toddler just put something in her mouth.