Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Hate Your Job? Here’s What To Do (Rebroadcast)
70 Plays7 years ago
On this rebroadcast, I go over an interesting question I received. It’s about a man who wants to be himself but doesn’t feel like he’s living his best life at his job. That’s to say: he hates his job. On this rebroadcast, we talk about how to deal with it.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction & Dave's Question
00:00:17
Speaker
Welcome to this week's episode of The Art of Authenticity. I'm Laura Coe, your host, and thank you once again for joining in. I'm going to take another question from someone who wrote in. I have an email here from Dave. Dave writes in and talks about how he is
00:00:38
Speaker
working really hard to live in his truth. Awesome, Dave, very happy for you on that. He goes on to say that while he's living in his truth, he is more aware of how much he dislikes his job. This awareness is driving him crazy and he would like to not feel this way. Any advice?
Clarity Through Authentic Living
00:01:01
Speaker
Yeah, Dave, this is the asterisk at the bottom of the authenticity game. When you live in your truth, when you start to get the awareness of how you really feel, what's really happening in your life, with that comes this level of clarity.
00:01:18
Speaker
But that clarity doesn't always tell us the things that we want to hear. Unfortunately, sometimes it just gets us more clear that we don't like our job, more clear that the relationship we're in is not working for us, more clear that we don't like our apartment or the city we're in or whatever it is, we start to get clear.
Excuses and Inner Turmoil
00:01:39
Speaker
because normally we have discomfort. We don't like our job per se in your case. We ignore that. We justify it. We have come up with great rationalizations, right? I'm paid really well. My boss is super cool. The team is interesting. I'm doing impactful work. Nonetheless, if all of those things are true, I still hate my job, but I'm going to give myself all these reasons to deny my truth.
00:02:06
Speaker
And so in doing so, we think there's something wrong with us. We say, I just don't know what my problem is. I'm not happy. I don't feel so great. I'm just discontent in my life. Maybe I'm just somebody who's never going to be happy.
From Self-Blame to Real Issues
00:02:22
Speaker
So the good news is, is when you move it over and you get truthful and it starts to show up in the actual areas of your life that are a problem, it comes off of you. And that inner dialogue that there's just something randomly wrong with you starts to ease up, but it gets switched over to the actual problem in your life.
00:02:46
Speaker
So, Dave, here's the thing. Your play towards truth, towards authenticity is helping you get clear on what it is that's not working. It doesn't mean that you have to do something about it. It doesn't mean that you have to change your job. It doesn't mean that you have to even worry about what it means.
Awareness Without Immediate Action
00:03:06
Speaker
It's just information. You can choose to make changes towards finding a new job. You can choose to accept the job you're in and recognize that you're not very happy in it. Our first reaction to finding anything that makes us uncomfortable is to push it away or change it instantaneously.
00:03:27
Speaker
Sometimes, you know, we just don't know what we want to move to next. We're not sure what job we want. I mean, impulsive, spontaneous changes don't always work out. So awareness, knowing that the job isn't working for you, is the first step. And then sitting with that discomfort and recognizing it is what it is and you don't have to analyze it to death and it doesn't have to mean something and the world doesn't have to be coming to an end.
00:03:53
Speaker
You just now have clarity. Clarity is helpful. You can take action on that clarity, but see if you can sit with just the imperfection.
Acceptance Over Perfection
00:04:04
Speaker
That your life isn't exactly where you want it to be, but that that's okay. Life isn't always
00:04:11
Speaker
where we want it to be. Often we get the job to work and then there's some challenge with a child or a relationship. Life is dynamic. It is always shifting and moving. Changes are happening in every moment, every day, every month.
00:04:27
Speaker
trying to get things perfect all lined up is a very difficult thing to do. I used to look for that. I wanted every part of my life to be in its right place. And when I got there, I'd be able to breathe. I'd be able to feel that sense of calm.
00:04:50
Speaker
that ease if I could just get my apartment decorated and set up in the way that I wanted because I had just moved in, or my job if I could just get it to the next level, my business. If I could just figure out how to have a child, when to have a child next, I would feel better. Each of these things
00:05:11
Speaker
do not make you feel better and all of them don't happen simultaneously where everything's in its place at the right time.
Awareness as a Tool for Change
00:05:20
Speaker
So learning how to sit with the imperfections, that you are in fact aware that there is a part of your life that is not working at the level you would like. And then thinking about what changes you want to make, but not having that meta discussion that it has to be a problem.
00:05:39
Speaker
It's okay that you don't like your job. It's okay if you've moved into a new apartment and you haven't set it up. I'm not suggesting to sit in apathy towards the things that are a problem. It just doesn't mean the world is coming to an end or something is wrong with you or something is wrong with life or something is wrong on all of these different levels.
Inner Peace Amid Imperfection
00:06:04
Speaker
It's just now you have the information to make that change.
00:06:09
Speaker
So hopefully, Dave, this is helpful. You have clarity. Clarity is the most important part of life. You may choose what to do in your next steps in your career. You may decide for whatever reasons you need to hold off for a few months.
00:06:27
Speaker
But you're not going crazy. There's nothing wrong with you. You just have a part of your life that isn't where you want it to be. Can you just accept that? Because you're where you need to be. When I got this moment, this topic, and I just got it one day, I'm okay. I'm okay even if some part of my life isn't where I need it to be.
00:06:56
Speaker
I'm okay, right? We dive into some kind of fear-based survival mindset where we feel we are unhinged when we recognize some part of our life isn't where we need it to be. Could you simultaneously accept part of your life is imperfect, but you, the deeper sense of you,
00:07:20
Speaker
You're always fine. The way I think about it is a blue sky and the clouds. That you are always consistently a blue sky. You at your core are fine. There are clouds passing by all the time and those clouds take the form of the job that you're not happy with, the relationship challenges, the issues in your family life.
00:07:45
Speaker
health, but you are okay despite these things that are always changing and moving around you. When I got that, when I could separate the things going on around me from myself and that I at a survival level am fine, I am always fine unless there's a famine or a war, in which case I'm not going to be okay, I am fine. These are not real problems in the sense of my
00:08:15
Speaker
life being at risk. That's when everything shift. So if I'm okay, but things around me aren't perfectly in their place, that's okay.
Conclusion & Listener Invitation
00:08:25
Speaker
I can live with that. I can make changes in towards that. I can let it be imperfect for a period of time.
00:08:32
Speaker
So, Dave, that's my suggestion. I hope it helps. Thank you so much for sending a note in. Anyone out there who has questions, something on your mind, as always, send us a note, lauraatlauraco.com, and thanks again for tuning in.