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Kute Blackson: The Magic of Surrender
602 Plays3 years ago
Kute joins us to discuss his newest book, The Magic of Surrender. Learn why surrendering brings more into your life, not less. Why surrendering can open doors, not close them. And how surrendering can bring about a life that you could never have believed possible. It is a topic that I love, practice, and have found essential to my growth!
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Transcript
Introduction to Episode and Guest
00:00:26
Speaker
Welcome to this week's episode of The Art of Authenticity. I'm Laura Coe, your host. And thank you guys once again for tuning in. We've got Koot Blackstone back on the show. I am so excited for you guys to listen to this. He's got a new book, The Magic of Surrender. I poured through every page of this book. I was trying to get organized for the interview and I just had one quote after the next that I thought was brilliant and
Koot Blackstone's Achievements and Philosophy
00:00:55
Speaker
just really struck a deep chord within me and i know it will within you to check it out i'll grab a copy w w w the magic of surrender dot com or koot blackstone dot com he is an inspirational speaker a transformational teacher he has.
00:01:12
Speaker
been on countless radio shows, TV shows, from Larry King to Ink Magazine. He is the winner of the Unity Thought Walden Award. He is on the Transformational Leadership Council. And he is really here to awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true purpose. I absolutely adore chatting with him and take every opportunity to have him come on.
Understanding Surrender vs. Giving Up
00:01:41
Speaker
As I know you will, we dive into surrender. What does it mean? This topic, one of the most transformational things in my life was learning the difference between giving up and surrender. Surrender is not giving up, guys. It is letting things be when they need to and knowing the difference. Take a look. Hopefully you love it. Also, all of the information will be on my website, LauraCo.com. And once again, we appreciate you tuning in.
00:02:12
Speaker
Welcome to this week's episode of The Art of Authenticity. Thank you guys once again for tuning in. We have a favorite joining us today. Koot Blackstone is back with his book, Magic of Surrender. Koot, how are you today? Great. Great. Great to be back. Thanks for having me. Oh my God.
00:02:31
Speaker
I love so many people that come on the show and I was saying to him right before we came on, I just adored this book. Adored it. It's beautifully written. The topic is so inspired.
00:02:45
Speaker
Every single page I was pulling out a quote and I was making myself stop because there's no way we could get to them all. But anybody listening, I'll have all the links, the magic of surrender. This topic has changed my life when I got in right relation with it. I think it's one of the most important topics, one of the most misunderstood.
00:03:08
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. So I want to jump in and just get as much as I can. For anybody who has not heard the other episodes, Koot has
Misconceptions and True Power of Surrender
00:03:17
Speaker
been on the show. We talked about his previous book, best-selling book, You Are the One. Amazing book about authenticity. Highly recommend listening to the previous episode or checking out that book. He's an international speaker, transformational teacher.
00:03:31
Speaker
And with that, I'm just going to hop right in, surrender, letting go. I felt for most of my life, this was equated with giving up, failure, quitting, not putting my best foot forward, all that stuff. And so you say letting go does not mean losing, it means more joy.
00:03:54
Speaker
of what you are meant to be, conditions of life stopping trying to control and everything becomes more. And it's like so beautifully put, but maybe you could start with this idea and help people think about surrender from the perspective that I believe that I know this whole book is geared around, but how is it not about losing and really allowing more joy into your life and really becoming everything you want and more?
00:04:21
Speaker
I think that for so long, surrender, we equate this idea of surrender with losing, with our dreams not manifesting, with being weak, with waving the white flag. And I just feel it's a misconception. And so naturally, we resist that. We've resisted surrendering for so long. And so for me, surrendering is
00:04:48
Speaker
taking the conditions off of life. Surrendering is when we stop trying to control life and forcing life to or imposing our idea on how we think life should be and what we think life should be and how we think people should be. And when we actually let go of the life that we think we should be living so that we can really embrace
00:05:15
Speaker
the authentic, the deepest impulse of what life is seeking to express to us. And then we can, you could say, bring ourself into the flow, bring ourself into alignment. So I really believe that surrender is the most powerful thing we can do. And when we do that, we are in flow, we are in alignment. And that's when I think miracles happen. Things happen when we surrender rather than force, that we
00:05:45
Speaker
Because when we surrender, we're open. We are living in a state of total openness. And in that state of total openness, we're available to all possibilities. And that's when I think we're not limited to our ego, our identity, our small self, our limited perception.
Historical Examples of Surrender
00:06:04
Speaker
We're open to the totality of life manifesting. And when I look at the Great Ones, Jesus, Buddha, Mandela, Gandhi, Mother Teresa,
00:06:13
Speaker
they live that state of surrender. And I think that's why they were able to create an impact in a way that was beyond their own personal power. When they surrendered, they brought themselves into the flow of life. And that's when life, the totality of life, the force of life, intelligence of life, the creativity of life, which was beyond them,
00:06:38
Speaker
was able to move through them and express through them and create through them life created through them because they opened and surrendered to something bigger than themselves. And so I think that's why I say when you surrender, what if you got more?
00:06:55
Speaker
more than you could plan more than you could create and that's really you know what i'm proposing i want people to really get that surrender is not passive surrender is an active thing and surrender is different than acceptance just to be clear a lot of people think oh it's acceptance i'm in i'm in a state of acceptance but i really believe you can be in a state of acceptance which sometimes people get to and even acceptance is a pretty high level of a way of living right being in acceptance with what is but
00:07:26
Speaker
You can be in a state of acceptance of what is, but still be internally resisting what is. Let's say it's raining outside. You accept that it's raining outside. Okay, Laura, it's raining outside. I'll screw it. I'll take an umbrella and it shouldn't be raining. Why is it always raining? God doesn't love me because it always rains when I want to do something and your outside would be umbrella.
00:07:48
Speaker
morning and groaning that is raining outside. You're not in surrender, you're in a state of acceptance, internally resisting. When you're truly surrendering, you are in a wholehearted participation with what is happening. You are wholeheartedly participating with the experiences that are arising
00:08:11
Speaker
seeking to learn the lesson, seeking to evolve. And when you participate fully with what is happening, no resistance, trusting that everything that is unfolding is for your highest good, even if you can't see it right now, then you move into a state of magic and surrender. So if it's raining outside, you would maybe run naked in the rain, play with your kids in the rain, maybe instead of playing outside, use that as an opportunity to have a dinner inside with those that you love and something magical happens. And so this is surrender. It's a deep
00:08:41
Speaker
It's a deep trust in life. It's a deep trust in the intelligence. And I think if we look out at life, the sun, the stars, the moon,
00:08:50
Speaker
the fact that we're breathing every day, the fact that we eat food and this food, the digestion happens. I mean, there are miracles and processes happening inside of us and in existence and in life that if we just look out, to me, this is living proof that we can trust life. We can trust life. When was the last time the sun didn't come out in the morning?
00:09:14
Speaker
When you woke up and it was like, oops, sorry, Lauren, the sun didn't come out. It just forgot to come. It never happens. And so I think if we look at life, if we look at existence, if we just observe nature. Wow.
Ego, Control, and the Flow of Life
00:09:31
Speaker
You know, life is constantly showing us and revealing us that it's okay to surrender. And so I think surrender is the most
00:09:37
Speaker
powerful thing we can do to bring ourselves in the flow, the most powerful thing we can do to sort of access magic and miracles in our life.
00:09:47
Speaker
Ooh, amen. Yeah, so I love it that if this is the beginning, this is going to be the best interview. Yeah, I love that idea of the sun. I mean, you can trust your breathing. When was the last time your lungs just forgot, your heart forgot, right? It's like there's so much in life that we can't will. So you talk about the ego, right? That's a great transition into the topic I wanted to start with, right? The ego, I'm just going to keep coding. You got to forgive me, but I'm going to keep coding.
00:10:18
Speaker
The ego thinks it knows how your life should go. When things often don't go according to plan, it judges your lifetime of failure and then tries to force a result. But if you want to change yourself, you better hurry up and do it now because when you're, quote, enlightened, you won't give a shit because you know that you, the you that you are trying to enlighten
00:10:43
Speaker
isn't really you anyways, right? So there's a lot packed into that, but I really want to ask you to explain or express to the audience what I just pulled out from the section, but this idea of, there's this thinking mind, this part of us, right? So surrender, beautiful, I hear you, yes, I love it, but there's this part of us that insists it knows what it thinks we need, what it thinks we want.
00:11:08
Speaker
what we should do every day and how life should be and what it is we think we deserve or how other people should treat us and all this stuff, right? And it is constantly like this tape playing all the time. So how do we, first of all, what is going on with this ego? Why does it think it should be in control? And what's the problem with letting it control our life, right? And how to surrender? First, I would say that the ego sometimes gets a bad rap.
00:11:38
Speaker
And I say that the ego is not really the enemy because in a sense the ego in and of itself isn't really real. The ego is a perception. The ego is
00:11:51
Speaker
is the way that we've learned to identify ourselves as ourselves based on our past, based on our experiences, based on our feelings, based on our belief system, based on our values, based on everything that's happened. We identify ourselves as this thing
00:12:12
Speaker
called me, called you, called Laura, called Ku, and the more tightly we hold on to this identification of ourselves based on all that I've just expressed, beliefs, values, thoughts, experiences, emotions, this is ego. So ego, if anything, is not a thing, it's really a process of holding on, a process of identifying as oneself.
00:12:36
Speaker
And the more tightly we hold on to this identification, the more limited we are, the more tightly we hold on to this idea of this is who I am.
00:12:51
Speaker
the more limited we are. And so really, all I'm really doing is giving people the question, who are you? Are you your beliefs? Are you your emotions? Are you your stories? Are you your past conditioning? Because all of these things are constantly changing. And the degree to which we hold on
00:13:09
Speaker
So this idea, this perception of who we think we are is the degree to which we are not free, is from that place of thinking, oh, this is who I am, this idea of who I am, this conglomeration of beliefs, thoughts, emotions, what have you, which is often a condition from the past.
00:13:25
Speaker
from childhood, from parents, from culture, from grandparents, from generations, et cetera, et cetera. And so we think we're free, but we're really not free. We're just living out the conditioning of the past, the conditioning of our parents, the conditioning of generations that we end up living out now. And so many times from this place of identifying as a ego, as a me, we look into the future and we set a goal or we set a dream or we set a desire
00:13:54
Speaker
And we say to ourselves, oh, this is what I want. I really want that thing. The challenge is, is that really what we want or is it just what we think we want based on who we think we are? And so if we're not really in touch with the reality of what we really are because we think this idea of who we are is what we are, then what we think we want is not going to be authentic or truly aligned either, which is why many times we end up
00:14:21
Speaker
getting that goal or getting that dream only to be disappointed or dissatisfied or unfulfilled and we say, is this it? This is not what we really want. And so many times our goals, dreams and visions are driven by sometimes our parents' beliefs, sometimes driven by certain wounds, unresolved wounds from our childhood. We weren't enough growing up so that if we can just
00:14:50
Speaker
achieve this thing and attain that thing and make that amount of money and you know do that thing and create that thing then we'll finally be validated and enough and loved and so I think we have to really Start the process by questioning like who am I?
Greatness Through Surrender
00:15:08
Speaker
Right. So that was what I was gonna say to you. Yeah, so I think a lot of people out there are listening taking that in and
00:15:15
Speaker
agreeing perhaps, but it's then, okay, if I'm not that long list, right? Because my values, my thoughts, my beliefs and all. To really sit and it can be a little scary, to really say and go, well, who am I? Who am I? What am I? What do I really believe? Am I just this body? Am I just...
00:15:37
Speaker
Are these beliefs that I'm thinking, are they really mine? Is it really me? Is this really what I believe? And I think that the process of investigating and questioning, who am I? What am I? What is true? What do I believe? What do I really feel? Is this what I really want? Because I think the more we can really peel away the layers and illusions that we've identified ourselves as, then we can start tapping into something deeper.
00:16:03
Speaker
then we can start tapping into something deeper than the mind. And all I'm simply saying, and I go deeper in the book, is you are not your beliefs, you are not your emotions, you are not your mind, you are not your ideas, you are something more. And I think when we can really surrender those surface layer ideas of who we think we are, then we can get in touch with something deeper. And to me,
00:16:27
Speaker
What we are is life itself. What we are is a part of that infinite expression. And so to surrender is to really surrender to what we really are, to surrender to being lived.
00:16:43
Speaker
by something bigger, something deeper than what we typically identify ourselves to be, which is life. And I think when we can surrender to this deeper impulse and flow of life and allow life to guide us, look at Jesus, look at Buddha, look at Mother Teresa, look at Gandhi, look at the great Mandela, they all got to a point where they had to surrender themselves to something bigger than themselves.
00:17:11
Speaker
They all got and this was their greatness. It wasn't based on their personal power. It wasn't based on Uh, uh, because they were handsome attractive sexy rich tall this that they their greatness And their ability to impact humanity at the level that they impacted humanity wasn't based
00:17:34
Speaker
on their identity wasn't based on their personal power, wasn't based on their ego. They all moved to a place where they surrendered themselves to something bigger than themselves. They surrendered themselves to life itself. And that's when life itself began to
00:17:54
Speaker
live through them and express through them, manifest through them. They open themselves to life, and life began to express. And that's, I think, where the magic happens. That's when we're in the flow. That's when miracles unfold. That's when we really have a huge impact. We're able to have a huge impact, but it's not just us as a separate ego that is really doing it. It's life doing it through us, and we become the vessel in the vehicle.
00:18:24
Speaker
for this magic.
00:18:25
Speaker
Yeah, you say surrender is an inner state of being in your relationship to life. Like a commitment to follow where life leads you. Sometimes it leads you beside quiet waters. Other times it leads you straight into a
Truthfulness and Personal Lies
00:18:39
Speaker
fire. But surrender is knowing that wherever life leads you, there's a reason you're ready and life will back you up. And then you go into this idea of, I mean, again, beautiful, just beautiful. Radical transparency, right? And thinking about your commitment to truth.
00:18:55
Speaker
And so, you know, when I think about, okay, so if I'm not all those things and I release and I allow myself to sometimes go into the fires of life and sometimes I'm just by the waters and there's the calm, there's the storms, but I allow life to unfold, I allow myself to move with it, to be in flow with it. A commitment to truth, to not filter my thoughts but share them openly, right?
00:19:23
Speaker
Why is it important for us to do this? It's the truth of not my mind or the truth. How do we separate the truth according to maybe my beliefs, my values, my thoughts versus my deeper truth, my authentic truth? And why do you talk about radical transparency? Yeah, I talk about transparency. I talk about truth because I think in so many ways, one of the ways that we keep ourselves stuck
00:19:51
Speaker
or we keep ourselves from surrendering, or we keep ourselves from being truly happy, is that in so many ways we are constantly lying to ourselves about what we really feel, about what our truth really is. Maybe we stay in a relationship that we know is not real.
00:20:16
Speaker
Align, you know, I mean maybe the person's nice and they're great and but something's not quite In alignment and we we feel it we know it but we compromise because we're afraid of
00:20:30
Speaker
hurting the other person. We're afraid of what people will think. We're afraid that we've missed so much time and energy into this relationship. And so we're afraid we'll be alone and we'll never find love again, whatever it is. And so I've seen so often we lie to ourselves about what we really feel. We lie to ourselves. We don't tell the truth to ourselves about what we really feel and know inside. And I believe that there's a part of us deep down that knows everything.
00:20:57
Speaker
If we're really honest, if we really get still, if we really get honest, if we really get courageous to say, you know what? Yeah, there is a part of me that knows. Maybe I'm afraid to tell the truth. Maybe I'm afraid to live the truth. Maybe I'm afraid to go in that direction because I'm afraid of the consequences. That's fine. But there is a part of us that knows the truth because at the deepest level,
00:21:19
Speaker
is a part of us that is connected to everything. So we know and I think to really create a shift requires the willingness to feel the truth and tell the truth and align with the truth and live the truth in our life, live the deepest truth that we can live in this moment that might shift as we grow and as we evolve and as we expand our consciousness.
00:21:40
Speaker
But to go in the direction of what's true is, I think, one of the keys to freedom. And that's why I ask people to really just meditate on what lies you're telling yourself.
00:21:50
Speaker
Like really sit with what lies are you telling yourself? And what are you pretending to not know? And what is it costing you to tell these lies? Now, sometimes people might say, well, how do I know if I'm lying to myself? Maybe I won't even know that I'm lying to myself because sometimes we're in such denial. And I think one of the ways we can at least point to a direction of where we're often lying to ourselves is we will often feel pain.
00:22:19
Speaker
We will often feel some level of pain in our hearts. And I think pain is not anything bad. I think pain can be a profound gift pointing us towards where something is not aligned.
00:22:35
Speaker
And if we're willing to not numb the pain, which we often do, not distract from the pain, which we often do, not eat the pain, work the pain, social media, the pain away, but actually acknowledge the pain and really sit with what is the message of this pain and what is this pain trying to tell me? The pain is often a messenger of where we are not living a deeper level of truth. And that pain is a signal if we're willing to tune into it.
00:23:02
Speaker
if we were to receive the message and so look for where there's pain like look for where there's pain and ask yourself what is the message because the pain it may be showing you where you may be living a lie so to speak yeah yeah and and and that brings us to my next conversation i want to have with you
00:23:24
Speaker
It's just one truth bomb after the next on this, but the omens, right? And so the pain shows you, but also life is leaving you clues when we pay attention. Clues, all the time. Oh my God. Can I just tell you, I was not one of those people. I, you know, maybe I would see something, but then I would say, oh, you know, cute coincidence or oh,
00:23:46
Speaker
That's cool. Whoa, that was weird. And I would kind of
Following Life's Clues and Embracing Unknowns
00:23:50
Speaker
blow it off. But in the last few years, I've gotten deep into this thing called the Akashic Records. I've really tapped more into the universe. I'm really thinking about the ways in which the world is interacting with me. And it's amazing if you stop
00:24:04
Speaker
I think the cultural norm around dismissing these serendipitous moments and you actually allow life to present itself fully and see these incredible miracles, as you're calling them, happen over and over and over. And I'm quoting you again, but the problem is we're busy paying attention to the judgments of the mind instead of the clues that life is giving us.
00:24:28
Speaker
And then when the clues of life show up, we question them. We pray for a clue. The clue shows up and now we're questioning it. It's like, Oh my God, that's hilarious. I think everybody does that. We're like, I just want the relationship. When's the person going to show up? I want that job, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then something shows up and we go, you know, Oh, that was cool. Or I don't know. Or maybe you're like, to your point, I'm lying about it or,
00:24:50
Speaker
And then we move on and we're like, God, I just can't believe this isn't happening. And it's like, well, did you not notice the last 15 things? But we don't, we don't trust in it. Sometimes the guidance of the universe, or in fact, more often than not, the guidance of the universe doesn't show up in some loud siren bell. Right. More often than not, the guidance of the universe shows up in a very subtle nudging.
00:25:20
Speaker
A very subtle nudging. And so part of the art of living surrender is to feel, cultivate the feeling. It's like surfing. You're cultivating the feeling for where is the energy moving? And if you can live, part of what blocks us from really following the energy and the flow of life
00:25:43
Speaker
is sometimes our mind has an agenda. Sometimes our mind has its own idea of the life that we think we should have and what we think should be and how we think this relationship should be. And we really want this relationship to be the relationship, even if it's not the relationship so that we're not able to follow the energies moving in.
00:26:01
Speaker
No, no, no, no, but it should be over here. But the energy is moving here. No, no, no, but I really want this person who is not the one to be the one and I'm going to make this person the one. And so we have- And we call it ambition, by the way. We call it not giving up. We call it working hard. This is ego. Yeah. And this is an old way of living it. And I believe it doesn't mean you can't manifest and have a good life, but I think living a life, forcing life, forcing life to be something, yes, you might have a good life, but it will lead to a limited life.
00:26:29
Speaker
It will lead to limited life that at some point soon will lead to dissatisfaction. When we can start taking our conditions off of life, when we can also begin to embrace the unknown, the mind is always seeking to try to understand everything, make meaning of everything, make sense of everything. And in doing that, we end up limiting
00:26:51
Speaker
Limiting life. Why is this happening? Why am I guiding it? We want to know what something means before we even go in that direction. And we'll only go in that direction if we understand what it means. I'm saying, the more you can live in the unknown, dance in the unknown, the degree to which you're able to live in the unknown is the degree to which you're able to experience freedom. And that's when the magic of surrender unfolds, when if you're feeling a nudging and a guidance, give up the need to know.
00:27:19
Speaker
You need to understand and move in that direction. Take a step in that direction. Our job is to really follow the clues and follow the energy.
Living Authentically and Trusting the Process
00:27:30
Speaker
This energy is not a mental energy. This energy is not a mental strategic energy. This energy is a deeper energy of your soul that is connected to all that is moving you and nudging you in a direction. And when we follow that energy,
00:27:45
Speaker
Where it will lead us will often be, this is why I say, beyond what we can make up with our mind. And so give up, needing to understand.
00:27:55
Speaker
Embrace the unknown show up innocently and I think innocence is a is a key and Cultivate the willingness to be deeply curious about what's unfolding and that's another key quality is the curiosity the willingness to live in the curiosity of What could be happening right now? Where could this be leading right now instead of constantly projecting onto the moment? Oh, I know what this is Oh, I know what's going to be. Oh, yeah and sometimes
00:28:26
Speaker
We think we know what something is and we project into the future or onto this moment what we think something is that we end up limiting what is really seeking to happen.
00:28:37
Speaker
When we attach to, like, I know what this is, we end up limiting the bigger impulse, the bigger unfolding of what life is seeking to do, because sometimes what we think something is really isn't what it is. It's something else. And when we attach the knowing, then we're no longer open to the bigger unfolding. What we can show up is the key. Give 100%.
00:29:05
Speaker
commit fully, give 100%, but don't have attachment to the outcome of the result moment to moment to moment. Then you can give a hundred... So surrender is not just sitting on the couch and doing nothing. Surrender is not giving, what do you mean? Could I just sit there and wait? No, it means give it 100%, give your all, but don't get so attached to how you think it's going to unfold and what you think something is and an outcome being a certain way. Because your job is to show up and give everything. Once you give everything,
00:29:36
Speaker
then you can observe and see how life unfolds and what life expresses and then our job is to follow the energy. To allow ourselves to be guided. It's a new paradigm I'm kind of inviting people into. It's like, what if you were to allow yourself to be guided? To follow the clues. For instance, last December,
00:30:04
Speaker
I got this very sneaky, sneaky intuition. Go visit Miami. Miami? Why the hell Miami? Let's go visit Miami. For two days, I went to Ghana, stopped in Miami, checked out Miami. This is cool. That nudging saying, come back to Miami for one month. Maybe this, maybe, maybe, but I don't want to move to Miami. It's my mind. I don't want to move to Miami. The hell's in Miami?
00:30:34
Speaker
that deeper intuition saying, come hang out in Miami for a month. Came back to Miami for a month. After a week, I think I need to move to Miami. Before he knew it, one thing nudged me, one thing, another clue, another clue, another clue. Sold my house in Phoenix, living in Miami. And so many magical things have unfolded and happened that I could not have planned. So the more we can follow the clues,
00:31:02
Speaker
Then we're living in an infinite stream of energy.
00:31:06
Speaker
Yeah. You know, it's, it's so interesting. The Miami example, I mean, my, I knew I had a second book in me. I knew that, but I had no idea where I was going to get the content. And so I did this Akashic record reading and then the woman tells me after a few months, you could learn the records. And I thought me, me, no, I'm not somebody who could do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I'm like, Oh, well, I, let me, sure. I just somewhere in me. It was like, let me, let me just see what that means. Um, while my brain argued, I felt,
00:31:35
Speaker
I did it. Nothing really came of it. I practiced a little. I thought this didn't really end up being much.
00:31:42
Speaker
Journaling opening playing with this energy and then one day I just asked a question What's the nature of and I got two pages of writing in minutes, right? There was something in me that kept telling me to come back to this to play with it to try with it But my brain kept saying there's nothing here. What are you doing? This isn't you this isn't what you're good at right so that that
00:32:06
Speaker
back and forth between what the ego believes, right? I thought the next set of work would come from studying something, working on something, picking a topic like Plato or somebody to really dig deep into. And instead, it just came through this other path, which three years ago, if you said, Laura, you're going to go live with a book of Akashic Records, and it's going to be like, no, no, no, no.
00:32:31
Speaker
I invite people to look at your life and say, what if you were to go talk to a version of yourself five years ago about that topic, 10 years ago about that topic? Would you have imagined it played out as beautifully as it did? Because most of the things that have worked in our lives, we would have never imagined them to take the path or end up this way.
00:32:53
Speaker
So, you talk about steps into inner guidance, and I just wanted to spend a moment on this because I love these steps. So many people hear all this and then they're like, okay, guys, but what do I do, right?
00:33:07
Speaker
And so you say open to miracles, listens for guidance, get out of the way, then follow.
Inner Guidance and Intuition
00:33:13
Speaker
Life will give you more than you thought possible miracles are available at all times. And so if somebody is listening for guidance and they're trying to get out of the way, because what we're talking about, right, I think are these steps. Do you have like a suggestion when you're in the moment and it's very difficult, you said you just listened to Miami, but
00:33:32
Speaker
Where is that space of Miami coming from within you? And then when the part of you says, I don't want to go to Miami, I don't care about Miami, how do you start to figure out how to negotiate that? I think there's no magic to it. It's not like a system, but I think we have to create space in our life daily to be still and listen.
00:33:53
Speaker
I think quite often we're so busy running around that we don't cultivate the space to listen. Sometimes we're actually afraid to be still because we're afraid of what we're going to hear. So we busy ourselves unconsciously. Oh, that's... Wait, I got to stop you. Oh my God, that's so good. That's so true.
00:34:15
Speaker
Yeah, because there's a part of us that knows, oh shit, if I actually be still, I might tune into the deeper wisdom. So if I just keep myself busy, then I don't have to really rest into kind of like what I'm sensing under here. Uh-huh. Because then if I see it, I might have to do something. If I really tune into it, I might have to do something. And that's why I say cultivate time daily, even if it's 10, 15 minutes to just sit
00:34:40
Speaker
and listen. Sounds simple, but we often don't. The amount of people that tell me, I don't have time to meditate. I'm not even saying meditate now. I'm just saying sit and breathe and tune in and be still and listen. That's it. Not even meditation. Not even praying. Nothing. Just sit and listen. Sit and do nothing and listen for a moment. Because if you listen and get quiet,
00:35:02
Speaker
You will feel something. You will feel nudgings. You will feel the guidance. You will sense something. And then start cultivating that deep listening in your life because, as I said, the nudgings won't come from a loud siren. It will often come through physical sensation, a little
00:35:20
Speaker
fleeting thought, Miami, fleeting thought, write that book. It's a fleeting thought that you could almost dismiss. The other thing for me that's really helped over time is when I feel those nudgings like a Miami or do this or do that, I stop questioning now.
00:35:39
Speaker
I have a rule. Yes. I don't question, I do. And so this is why I said earlier, give up the need to understand, give up the need to make sense and embrace, really embrace not knowing. There is a deeper intelligence inside of us that knows what to do, that knows if we're willing to follow that intelligence, follow that energy. So sometimes people will ask me, why are you going there? I don't know.
00:36:09
Speaker
Why are you doing that? I have no idea. Why are you doing that? I don't know. It's funny, the deeper you go spiritually, sometimes the less you know, the more humbling it becomes. The deeper you go spiritually, the less choice you have.
00:36:28
Speaker
the freer you actually are. When I say the less choice you have, because the deeper you go, the less choice you have because certain things that you could have just done before, not really an option for you anymore. What's more an option is aligning with a deeper truth. And so I think the more you can
00:36:46
Speaker
not question the mind. Observe it. Yes, the mind might question, the mind might have its concerns, the mind might have its, you know, gyrations, but if you can listen deeply and follow.
00:37:01
Speaker
You don't need to understand why you're guided. Many times the understanding of something will be revealed through the process of living itself, or will sometimes be revealed as a puzzle piece that makes sense after the fact. And then six months later, or three months later, when one, two, and three happen, you say to yourself,
00:37:25
Speaker
I see why I needed to do that now, but it won't make sense in the moment and we often trip ourselves up and I see so many people don't take action in the moment because they're busy trying to make sense of it from the sidelines or they're busy trying to figure out the purpose from the sidelines and life is life is revealed to you in the process of living itself and so I don't question I just I feel the energy and if it feels
00:37:52
Speaker
Like something feels aligned here. I act. And that's the key. You take action. You take action. Here's what I found too. Sometimes life only reveals to you what you need to know in the moment you need to. Because if you knew everything, you may not follow it. You may not do it.
00:38:18
Speaker
And so the more we can cultivate that trust and say, okay, I'm going to show up.
Purpose, Success, and Love
00:38:24
Speaker
That's our job is to show up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Cause I, I think, um, the overwhelm of hearing too much, you know, just, just to know, go to Miami, if you heard you're going to move there, it might be overwhelming to think through the whole thing. Yeah. Exactly.
00:38:42
Speaker
Koot, you talk about purpose in a way that just, I just totally stop dead in my tracks. This idea that purpose isn't something you need to find, it finds you and that it manifests through you and it grows and changes and evolves with you, it's not static.
00:39:06
Speaker
You said our purpose is one and the same for each person on the planet. We're here to grow and evolve. That's it. Plain and simple. I now believe that to be true. I do. I believe that we're just here in this big classroom. Speak to the audience about this though because
00:39:23
Speaker
I can't tell you how many people reach out to me about, I just want my purpose, Laura. I want my purpose. I want my purpose like it's a thing that they're going to get. And when they get it, and I thought this, I'm going to get it. And when I get it, I'm going to feel fulfilled. And when I have it, I won't have to do anything else. But we're here in an evolution. Talk to us about this process of evolving our souls and this evolution and this idea of the classroom of life.
00:39:53
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I think ultimately that the purpose of our life is the purpose of our life. And the purpose of our life is to grow and evolve. We incarnate ourselves into this human experience beyond being just this physical body. We are an energy and a stream of consciousness and souls that we incarnate into this human experience to grow and evolve.
00:40:13
Speaker
And I would say that every single person we meet, every single situation, every single experience is part of the classroom that we've attracted to us to help us grow and evolve in our evolutionary process. And so if we can really remember as human beings,
00:40:31
Speaker
Sometimes we get so caught up in the drama of life itself. Sometimes we get so caught up in what is happening on the surface. This is happening. That's happening. He's doing this. This is going on. Achievement. Success. Goals. Achievement. Success. Goals. And we often judge
00:40:49
Speaker
success based on what's happening on the goal line and the goals of our life. Yes, I achieved that. I achieved that. I wrote the book. It's the best seller, etc, etc, etc. The relationship worked out. It lasted forever. Then I'm successful. But I really think it's important for us to remember that really the only thing going on.
00:41:07
Speaker
is our evolution. That's it. That is the purpose. So every single experience is here to serve your evolution and your soul's growth. And no matter what happens, so every single relationship, every single situation is simply a vehicle for you to grow and evolve. And I think if we really remember that, then we get less attached to the physical outcomes of things.
00:41:33
Speaker
and more committed to learning the lessons and growing and using each experience to grow and evolve. And real success is less about whether we achieved it or whether we didn't achieve it. Real success is the degree to which we learned the lessons and the degree to which we grew and we evolved. And that's the key thing.
00:41:56
Speaker
Sometimes I see people staying in relationships for 60 years and they're miserable. They're unhappy. They're no longer growing. They're no longer evolving. They're no longer in sync, but they stay together because this is what society wants. But I would say if you're not growing, if you're not evolving, if you're not aligned anymore, if you're not in love anymore, then just because you stay together, is that true success? Is it true success? And so I think we need a whole new definition of success.
00:42:25
Speaker
to one that is evolutionary more than achievement focused and so Yeah, everything everything and I think so when something happens
00:42:37
Speaker
Even if it's painful, even if it's challenging, even if it's difficult, even if it's hurtful, even if it's traumatic, if we can drop underneath and look for the lesson, look for the evolutionary lesson, I think it helps to shift our focus and give us some perspective so that we can navigate and move through and experience
00:42:56
Speaker
much more fluidly. We'll show an experience much more speedily and not get stuck on the story and right and wrong and good and bad and he and me and you know on that surface level and we can really look for the lesson and the evolution and that's the key. When we learn the lesson
00:43:17
Speaker
In the situation and in the relationship and in the experience when we really learn the lesson Then we graduate that pattern then we graduate that dynamic then we graduate that situation then we shift our energy and we We're now able to to to attract a different level of relationship and dynamic and situation in our life and so ultimately life is a school all lessons are repeated until we learn them and Just sometimes we forget that it's about the lessons that we get caught up in the story
00:43:50
Speaker
Yes. I mean, the minute you learn it, the thing that you want isn't going to get unlocked by time, by more work, by more achievement. It's in the unlocking of the soul lesson. So love, love, love, love.
00:44:06
Speaker
I couldn't wait to get to this topic. I want to make sure we get time for it, but stop seeking love. You won't find it that way. Right. Um, this is something I've spent the last few years on. It is probably I'm turning 50. I can't believe how
00:44:21
Speaker
how much I have not understood love. I really thought, as I think many people do, you want it, you want to get it, you want to have it, fill you up, all those things. And then when it's gone, the love is gone or something. And I heard people talk about this idea that love is in you, it's not something you take and that you give it.
00:44:43
Speaker
I didn't get that until recently. So talk to me about this and talk to me about how it plays into surrender. Why did you speak on love and what is love from your perspective if it's not something to seek and find and have? And then how does that work into surrender? Yeah, I would say love is what we are. It's the very nature of what we are, essentially. It's the nature of life.
00:45:11
Speaker
It's the nature of how life manifests itself as all things. And so, if you look at a child,
00:45:23
Speaker
a newborn or a little baby, they're in touch with this love energy. They're not discriminating, oh, you're black, you're white, you're tall, you're short, you're Jewish, you're Buddhist, you're Christian, I'm not going to love you, I'm going to love you. They just love expressing because they're not conditioned.
00:45:42
Speaker
You know, they're not conditioned yet. And so as children, we're in touch with this essential nature of love energy that we are. And then we're born into this human experience. And as we're born into this human experience, we meet our parents and our parents are just doing the best that they can do based on their programming, based on their past, based on their conditioning, based on their parents, et cetera, et cetera. And so we're born into an environment or a framework where there's pain, there's abuse, there's dysfunction, maybe there's emotion and neglect.
00:46:11
Speaker
And so, as these love beings, we're born into this environment and slowly, we're in touch with this love, but slowly through conditioning, we start learning to shut down parts of ourselves in order to not feel the pain of what's going on around us or we start
00:46:27
Speaker
learning to contort ourselves into a certain shape to become who we think we need to be in order to be loved. So the sense of who do I need to be in order to be loved, in order to be validated, in order to be accepted, in order to my parents love me. And perhaps we weren't loved unconditionally and so on.
00:46:46
Speaker
We started to learn if I get all A's or if I'm a certain way, if I'm nice, if I'm kind, if I'm independent, if I'm responsible, if I'm a certain way, then I get more love from my parents. And so we experienced often loving as
00:47:01
Speaker
conditional in nature.
Living Without Regrets and Embracing Reality
00:47:03
Speaker
And so as a result, we started to contort, shut down parts of ourselves, put on a role, put on a mask, put on a persona, put on a face, put on a personality and identity, which was a way that we got conditioned to be something. And so we got conditioned to be this version of ourselves in order to
00:47:22
Speaker
to get love. We've got condition to think that love is something that we need to get and we need to be XYZ in order to get love. Yeah.
00:47:34
Speaker
And so we started to lose touch with the nature of, oh, I am love. Oh, I need to do one, two, three to get love. And also to give love, we believed people needed to do XYZ to get our love. So I hold it back, I withhold, I withdraw, they don't deserve it, they haven't acted right, all these things. Love is what we are. And I think it's the most natural thing to give love and to express love and to be love. And I think when we can,
00:48:03
Speaker
remember that and express that nature, then I think we're free. Yeah, you say love is no longer a transaction or trade, but a choice. That's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. So surrender, letting go leads to more a life beyond anything you could plan for yourself to live this way will change your life. The universe is calling you now. Will you say yes is how you finish the book?
00:48:31
Speaker
people sitting out there listening to us asking themselves these questions, right? What is the universe asking from me? They're calling me now in what way? I don't know where to start. Like I hear all this, but will I say yes to what, right? So could you leave the listeners with a sense of, um, I don't know all the time and effort you've put into thinking about surrender, love, all the topics we've talked about. Um, it's the password to freedom. It's about letting go.
00:49:01
Speaker
What am I doing while I'm listening to this podcast? What can I do out today to start this process for myself and go out into the world with a little more surrender? There's many things I could say, but one thing I'll say for now is just really realize that you are going to die. And I would invite you to sit with the reality that you are going to die. Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad Ali, Mandela,
00:49:29
Speaker
Mother Teresa, all of the great ones, they all died. And none of us know when that moment will happen. It's not a question of if, it's just a matter of when. And whilst I hope that we all live long lives, if you really sit with the reality and meditate on the reality that you are going to die, could be today, could be tomorrow, could be 50 years from now, but it is going to happen. And when you die and you meet your maker, whatever you believe,
00:49:59
Speaker
You can't go to God and say, hey, God, I wasted five years in that relationship that I hated. I wasted 10 years in a job that wasn't a line that I hated. Can I get a refund on that time? Realize that once the time is gone, it's gone. And in so many ways, we resist our destiny. We resist our calling because we're afraid. We resist following the calling of our soul and our heart and relationship because we're afraid.
00:50:25
Speaker
But if you realize that and you meditate on the fact that you are going to die. And so how do you want to die? And how do you want to live? And how would you need to live in such a way where you have no regrets? Because I think the reality of death, at least for me, is a very sobering gift. The book was inspired because my mother died of cancer. And I got to spend a year with my mother.
00:50:55
Speaker
And I got to sit with my mother in chemo. I got to sit with my mother. I was flying from Los Angeles to London every month. And I got to sit with her for four or five days at a time. And we would just sit and talk about nothing, really nothing important. Just talk about life and reminisce. And the only regret I have in my life, and I've done a lot of things, the only regret I have in my life, in my life,
00:51:19
Speaker
is why did it take? And it was the best year of my life during my mother's death. Painful, but the best because the level of intimacy and closeness I had with her. But the only regret I have in my life was thinking why did I wait till my mother was dying?
00:51:36
Speaker
to really spend time and connect and be here. Why did I wait? And so, for me, that beautiful gift and reality of the nature of life has inspired me to surrender more fully to why I'm here, surrender more fully to loving more fully, to being bolder, to being courageous in every way.
00:51:58
Speaker
And so I hope you meditate on your death today and let that inspire you. Like if there's someone you want to love more fully, if there's someone you need to forgive, if there's someone you need to speak to, if there's a grudge you've been holding, if there's something you've been, you know, lying to yourself about, time is now.
00:52:17
Speaker
Beautiful. I love it. Thank you. Thank you for coming on the show. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for your truths. If people are interested in purchasing, they just buy the book. But where can they go to find you in the book? Yeah, they can go to the magic of surrender.com. That's the magic of surrender.com. All the info videos are there. You obviously get to go there, get the book on Amazon.
00:52:42
Speaker
Brit come back and you'll get a whole bunch of gifts, free video trainings, seminar, doing an intensive magic of surrender, three to four hour intensive that you'll get as a gift when you purchase the book. And so go to the magic of surrender.com. Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for coming and sharing your time with us today. Thanks for having me.