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46: Am I The..?
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Hi, y'all, and welcome back to this week's episode! This week we are reading things from Reddit, talking about internet drama, and discussing leftovers. Have a great weekend y'all!
Thank you so much to our sponsor, The Anti-Grapevine Podcast! Check them out!
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Transcript
Starting a Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
So you know how I've been like trying to get us to all do an am I the asshole podcast of the page? Well, I found this really funny one that I think we'll all like because because we all have like, well, I don't know if Alexis has it, but we all have like a little a little shared shared thing with this person.
Exploring Reddit Content
00:00:33
Speaker
Who's the person?
00:00:35
Speaker
Well, I don't know who the person is, but I'm gonna read it. Wait, should I read this one first? Cause this is like the one that I think is really good. And then I have like a couple that are like not as good. Okay. Read the bad ones first. Well, they're not bad. They're just like not as good. Read those first. Okay. I wish I knew how to save stuff on here. Are you on Reddit? Yeah. Is that not a form of social media? No, because I don't use Reddit.
00:01:04
Speaker
Wait, pause. Before you read, Raven, are dating apps considered a form of social media? No. No, exactly. Dang. I'm not friends with those people. I don't know. Maybe it's good for the soul. Take a break. OK. OK.
Family Dynamics & Boundaries on Reddit
00:01:24
Speaker
So our first one is, am I the? Oh, wait. Hold on. Man, they removed it. Dang. People removed things too quickly.
00:01:35
Speaker
okay uh they removed this one too i remember oh wait no they didn't okay i found it it says am i the asshole for telling my wife i can't enforce boundaries with my mom and we lost our right to when we moved in with her here's the story my wife and i recently had to move in with my mom along with our one-year-old son
00:01:57
Speaker
my mom has made it very clear that we are ruining her life if she hates having this here i know in a lot of families adult children i'm sorry i tried to hold that in adult children
00:02:13
Speaker
Moving in isn't normal, but in this situation she is clearly doing us a favor and is pissed about it. I have been having a hard time setting boundaries with my mom because her answer is if we don't like it we can leave and to be honest that sounds fair.
00:02:29
Speaker
Don't get me wrong, I still say something when she's rude to my wife, but as for real boundaries and consequences, I just don't have any leverage. My wife has been on me lately about how I need to set more boundaries. One thing my mom does that my wife hates is she uses the word B.
00:02:46
Speaker
place of you in a sentence. Previously I set a boundary that if my mom called either of us a B we would leave and not visit for X amount of time. Now that we live here she laughs and she laughs and tells me to please go so my hands are quite literally tied. Well tonight my mom came down to go to a work Christmas party and
00:03:09
Speaker
mother-in-law who was visiting made a comment about her outfit was gonna get her fired and my mom said be i'm the boss no one can fire me my wife gave me a look but i just shrugged because i felt what my mother-in-law said was rude my wife spoke up and said that i'm a coward and she's gonna remind my mom of our boundary and we were sick of how she uses that word my mom then looked at my wife and said okay i'll say
00:03:37
Speaker
cut next time, dumb cut, and I was in shock and yelled at her to shut the f up and told her I hate her. She left for the party and I thought it was over but my wife and mother-in-law both began telling me how I needed to set consequences for my mom and how it shouldn't be so easy for her to insult my wife.
00:03:59
Speaker
I responded that we lost our ready to set boundaries when we moved into her house. I don't like it either but she owns our lives and I'm not going to make a fool of myself or come off as some choosy beggar. I said for now she really can say what she wants. Mother-in-law muttered something under her breath and my wife began to scream at me. My wife is currently not speaking to me and says I can't come to our room tonight.
00:04:21
Speaker
She called me weak and told me to crawl in bed with my mom which honestly really hurt because my mom has multiple locks on her door as she doesn't trust us. So, what's your verdict? Is he the asshole?
00:04:38
Speaker
No, his mom is. But like, he could have been like, hey, mom, you can't be calling my wife that he could is it a. Also, he could sit for nailing. Yeah, but like you also live with her. So you're kind of like walking on a fine line of I don't want to get kicked out. I don't want to rule in our relationship, but at the same time, I don't want to be disrespected about me if a man's mama called my wife. No, if a man's mama called my mom,
00:05:08
Speaker
A B? That's not gonna rub me the right way. Cause that's my mom. I just feel like it's unnecessary to bring her mom into it when her mom clearly doesn't live there. She probably doesn't live like in close proximity if she's visiting for the week. And also, they have a one year old child. You know, kids are so...
00:05:39
Speaker
what's the word per second maybe that's not the word I'm thinking of but you like they pick on things at like such a young age so if you're walking around saying the B word all the time and then now you're replacing with the C word your one-year-old child is gonna start calling people at preschool the B word and C word I mean I mean maybe but yeah no I would have I feel for the wife because I would have been like a
00:06:08
Speaker
I know we live in your house, but like, you can't be calling me that. Wait. Okay. Also, why can't the wife set the boundaries with the mother-in-law? With the mother? That's not her mama. Yeah. But like, that's the point. Like that's not her mama. Like she can, but like he should be the one doing it. Yeah. Like, yeah. Cause it will just make her look worse if she's like,
00:06:35
Speaker
you can't talk to me like that and then she's gonna be like my son ain't said nothing and then where you at you're just in there say something but yeah no that dude's a weenball he should he should be able to um stand up to his mom or i just say they just have both their moms scrap it out
00:06:56
Speaker
No, because her mom really didn't do anything other than maybe that's not the appropriate outfit you need to be wearing. But I'm just saying, but I'm just saying I know her mom didn't do anything. I want to know what this outfit looks like. I mean, I know I never will. But in my mind, I'm like, so what constitutes getting higher? It's probably just like a short skirt and like a kind of low cut top.
00:07:19
Speaker
But like in my mind, they're also old. So yeah, maybe like well, TBH in my mind, like if I'm imagining what these people look like. It's very much giving like a body con dress situation. Like low cut. Short. Body con. It's like
00:07:48
Speaker
I don't think you would just wear that to like a work Christmas party. Yes, well. Again. Hang up and hang out, Casey. We have things to do. We have a business to run. I think she said her mother. Or her brother.
00:08:20
Speaker
yeah i can't read your lips but yeah i think she's saying mama that's so bad it really looks like she's saying yeah first of all i said mom i'm not three
00:08:49
Speaker
I was just trying to see if they fed the dog, but oh well.
Tea Talk
00:08:54
Speaker
Oh, small disclaimer, Tabitha's Tabitha Brown Sleepy Time Tea doesn't really do anything. And apparently you're supposed to drink two to three cups a day. But if it's like a relaxation tea, I mean, I guess it's not supposed to get me to sleep. It tastes like normal Sleepy Time Tea. To be honest, I couldn't really tell you what Sleepy Time Tea tastes like. This tastes like lemon.
00:09:17
Speaker
I drink sleepy time tea and I couldn't tell you what it tastes like No, I mean it's been a while since I've had it but this tastes like lemon I feel like but I feel like sometimes I put too much honey in it and it like cancels out the sleepy time benefits What does chamomile taste like? Honey
00:09:45
Speaker
I don't know. I can tell you, but... Like, no, describe it. Because in my mind, I feel like it tastes like a flower. It's not too flowery because I don't like flowery stuff. Oh. I went to Sweetgreen today. I know you sent me that thing. I don't go into Fort Worth to be near a Sweetgreen to use it. Okay. Well, out of the two of you, you would be the one to go before Raven. I mean, I want to go. So I was taking my chances. I'm just never in Fort Worth.
00:10:16
Speaker
You should go. I want to. But then I looked at their menu. Why does all of their stuff have nuts in it? You can take it off. It's customizable. It's a salad place on a university. Oh, well, I'm really just giving that away. That could be anywhere, to be quite honest. We could be in Austin. We could be in Dallas. We could be, never mind in case you already said what city we were in.
00:10:41
Speaker
y'all only people on a 30 mile radius does listen to this well this is true and 30 miles is generous actually no we have some south african listeners that's just people using a vpn don't burst my bubble i looked at that today are y'all ready for the second one yeah
Hospital Drama on Christmas
00:11:07
Speaker
Okay, am I the asshole for not spending Christmas in the hospital with my daughter? My 39F daughter, 16F, so the mom's 39, daughter 16, has a sensitive stomach ever since she was a kid. There are certain foods that will upset her stomach to the point where she's unable to stop throwing up.
00:11:30
Speaker
We've seen countless doctors, but so far no one's been able to give us a clear answer. The only advice we keep getting is to identify all trigger foods and cut them from her diet. We have a pretty good idea of what those foods are. Soda and other carbonated drinks, chips, Cheetos, and other similar processed snacks, anything oily or fried, and most sweets. Unfortunately, this is exactly the kind of stuff my daughter loves to eat the most.
00:11:55
Speaker
and as horrible as she feels after she has them, she still refuses to cut them out of her diet, which in turn led to her spending a lot of time in the hospital the past few years.
00:12:08
Speaker
When she was little, it was easier to keep all these foods away from her because I simply wouldn't buy them. But now that she's older, I can't always be there to check what she eats. She eats the greasy pizza at her school's cafeteria. She trades her lunch with her classmates. She goes out with friends and stops to eat KFC and so on. And it always ends with her in the ER, crying and shaking because she can't stop throwing up. This was the case on Christmas Eve as well when our whole family gathered at our place.
00:12:37
Speaker
And of course, among the many dishes at our Christmas table were some of her main trigger foods like chips, soda, chocolate, and sweets. Now mind you, these were far from the only foods available to her. We also had a variety of home cooked traditional dishes on the table with ingredients that didn't upset her stomach, like vegetables, meat, dairy, etc. All of them delicious and well seasoned. My daughter herself says she really likes most of these dishes.
00:13:03
Speaker
Despite this, my daughter chose to eat nothing but her trigger foods. I reminded her that they'd make her feel awful but she said she didn't care because Christmas is only once a year and she wants to live a little. Well, this ended with her violently throwing up in the ER a few hours later. She had to be hospitalized for a few days and only just got out of the hospital a few hours ago.
00:13:28
Speaker
And unlike all the previous times when something like this happened, this time I chose to spend Christmas relaxing at home with the rest of our family.
00:13:36
Speaker
and not in the hospital by my daughter's side. I kept in touch with her through calls and texts and told her if she needed anything, I'd ask a family member to bring it to her, but I made it clear I would not be visiting her during her stay. And while my daughter didn't take this too well, she cried every time we talked on the phone, begged me to come over, and told me how horrible I was for abandoning her all alone and so on.
00:14:01
Speaker
Most of our family didn't take my side in this either, and during the last few days, I got called everything from a little extreme to downright cruel and heartless. Am I the asshole? I'm going to say yes, because you left your child alone on Christmas. Now granted, she knows better. She's 16. She should know what she can and can't eat, but also at the same time, she's 16. I don't know. This kid sounds a little annoying, but I'm not a parent, so. OK. I understand if she was older.
00:14:31
Speaker
Like what's your cutoff age to where you wouldn't go to the hospital with her? Like 18. So you told me she got two more years after you left the hospital. I think they were more than you did. Okay, once they go off to college and they're kind of more on their own. Yeah, if she really wanted to sell this, like you need to figure out what you can and can't eat and learn how to do better, you should have made her pay all the hospital bills. I don't care if you have insurance, you should have charged her.
00:14:57
Speaker
Because that's that's really going to stick it like, oh, I have to pay this amount of money because I want to keep going to the ER. And no, ERs aren't like ER visits. Well, actually, this may not be for all insurance, but at least I know for my insurance, ER visits are not covered completely under your insurance. You have a copay. So if I went to the ER tonight, I'd be paying five hundred dollars. Therefore, if they have a similar type of insurance, I do. And they're going at least probably, let's say like once a month.
00:15:23
Speaker
Sister should be paying $500 to her mom every single time because you know better. Wow, Kasey, maybe you should like. That's like crazy. She said that she would send somebody else. She wouldn't even if she was like, hey, mom, can I get a change of clothes? She'll go, your aunt will bring them. Like, is this a form of punishment? Like you're punishing your daughter for not
00:15:51
Speaker
eating what she's supposed to be eating, but you're also punishing her by not going to see her. I don't think it's like, it doesn't, I don't know. I feel like it's not like a punishment. It's just like.
00:16:01
Speaker
a natural consequence because she was all Christmas only comes once a year and now her mom pulls a Christmas only comes once a year. It's not a natural thing. Like if you really wanted to be next to your child, you would move. I mean, obviously she don't want to be next to her child to be next to her. So this obviously she don't want to be next to her child. I'm like almost and this is a form of punishment. She may not be thinking or I'm punishing her by not going, but it's a form of punishment. Like, you know, Christmas. I mean, I guess.
00:16:29
Speaker
the older you get less like exciting Christmas becomes because you know you're old but when you're at least 16 it's still like exciting she can't open presents with the family she can't eat Christmas dinner I mean I don't think I can see both sides I just mean it's a little young
00:16:54
Speaker
But also, she told her not to eat it and she just did it. And yeah, she told her, she goes, hey, this is going to make you feel really sick. And she looked her dead at her face and said, Christmas only comes once a year. I want to live a little. She should have risked it all on Christmas Day. OK, shoot. And violently throwing up, because these foods upset your stomach, I don't know what kind of intolerance we have. Is it a gluten thing, because it's pizza involved?
00:17:25
Speaker
No, it's probably just like, it's probably not. Cause it says she can eat dairy, meat, cheese and stuff. Yeah. And I don't think any of those have gluten. But no, but oh, I don't know. But then add stuff like chocolate and like sweets. I think it's just like a, like an irritation thing. It just irritates her stomach. Oh, and okay. Also another thing, the pain doesn't bother you enough. Like,
00:17:53
Speaker
You're violently throwing up, and I know once you reach a point of throwing up, you have nothing else to throw up. So you're just contracting your stomach muscles. Do you not feel pain? Yeah, you're telling me you'd rather be shaking and crying than just eat something else that you know you like? I don't know. I ain't got stomach issues. Why don't you just eat it in moderation?
00:18:19
Speaker
like small doses. Every time she eat it, she eats a ton of the excess amounts of like pizza, eating it all at once. But yeah, like it would be painful if you're just like, it's probably because it's probably because her mom don't bring it in the house. And you know, those kids that were like never allowed to have like a thing that they really liked in their house when they would do anything to get it, they would just be like wild and now I think that's it. Yeah, like
00:18:46
Speaker
Imagine, say you live like 15 minutes from the hospital, you're throwing up at your house violently, you have to get in the car, throw up again, get to the hospital, still throwing up until they can fix you. Why would you put yourself through that? I mean, same, but like, in moderation, not, this feels like it's what every, every single week, if she's going to school, trading lunches,
00:19:14
Speaker
She's coming home for Christmas. This is like maybe once or twice a month. Again. You get food poisoning and you never eat that thing that gave you food poisoning again. But she's still eating it. That's crazy. I'm telling you, if their insurance is similar to mine, they're paying $500 each time. All I'm saying is most people are saying like, mom, you were right.
00:19:41
Speaker
Ain't nobody agree with this kid at the same time she's 16 This is gonna scar her No, they said they said no because Why she keep on doing it because why does she keep on doing it? Like throwing up is painful
00:20:05
Speaker
Especially when you have nothing to throw up like real like that kind The worst Was that the big one that you were referring to I Find it funny.
Dating App Conversations
00:20:24
Speaker
Well, I find like the additions funny Okay, I'm ready Okay for the big one dang. I had lost it
00:20:35
Speaker
okay hold on okay okay a little side story okay whenever so before we started I I messaged a dude on hinge and because his his one of his things on hinge on his little prompts was I geek out on history and conspiracy theories and he put will he put conspiracies in quotation marks and I was like okay why are conspiracies in quotation marks because conspiracies are a real thing
00:21:06
Speaker
And he was like, because the term conspiracy theory is a conspiracy itself. It was made by the CIA to discredit any information saying they were responsible for the JFK slash MLK assassination. Interesting.
00:21:33
Speaker
No, this is just a real life situation that I'm in right now I'm just living my my truth.
Asthma Attack at Family Event
00:21:42
Speaker
Okay, wait back to it back to it Okay, okay Okay, so am I the asshole for not apologizing to my sister-in-law for having a medical emergency? It starts off
00:22:02
Speaker
Hoo boy! So I, 33 male, am married to my wife Lee, 36 female. I have two siblings in-laws. The middle one is Z, 32. And the youngest, my sister-in-law, Perry, is 27. The nine-year age gap between my wife and her baby sister has always been an issue for them.
00:22:29
Speaker
My wife thinks her little sister is a spoiled brat and Perry thinks Lee is just mean to her. Up until recently, I've always given Perry the same respect I give to my own siblings who are both 26. I am severely asthmatic. Last year, I went on a family trip with my in-laws to Austin.
00:22:55
Speaker
for my wife's cousin's wedding. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was amazing. An open bar with good bourbon certainly helps. An hour before the reception was to end, I started to get an asthma cough. My throat was scratchy, I was coughing more than usual, I started drinking water, but was beginning to feel like I should probably get to my inhaler sooner rather than later.
00:23:20
Speaker
Problem was, my inhaler was back at the Airbnb. My wife noticed me having trouble and asked me if I was okay. I told her I was fine, but when everyone was ready, I'd like to get back to the Airbnb sooner rather than later to get my meds. She nods and informs her dad. Father-in-law gathers up the family into the rental van and we start making our way back.
00:23:44
Speaker
The whole way back, Perry, who is drunk AF now, complains about leaving the party early, so I get annoyed and I snap and say, I'm so sorry that my chronic lung disease ruined your night. Next time I'll make sure to die in peace. Now I'm wheezing and can barely breathe.
00:24:03
Speaker
It's a full blown asthma attack. I'm literally two minutes from telling my father-in-law to skip the Airbnb and go straight to the ER. Fortunately, we get to the Airbnb just in time. I take my meds and I'm okay. The next morning, Perry demands I apologize for ruining her night. It's been months and neither of us has apologized for what happened. I've been respectful and amicable towards her, but I guess with my ASD,
00:24:33
Speaker
I've been showing my distaste more than I thought. So ASD is autism spectrum. Okay. Okay.
00:24:45
Speaker
My wife tells me this has caused issues in the family because Perry now thinks I don't like her. I don't hate her. I just think she should be mature enough to admit she made a mistake. Anyways, am I the asshole for not apologizing for what I did? Edit forgot to mention this. Perry and her partner, male 34, were offered the option of an Uber and she chose not to take it. Absolutely not. She is. Okay.
00:25:14
Speaker
Why was I literally feeling the asthma attack? Okay. Okay. And all I'm saying, all I'm saying, so someone in the comments, actually do, do we want to get our thoughts out and then I'll add this in peace? Okay. All I'm saying is that's on him. That's a you problem.
00:25:33
Speaker
You take the Uber home with your wife. Also, if you are such a severe asthmatic, why don't you got your inhaler on you? Why don't you got your inhaler on you? If you can have an asthma attack that's severe that goes from zero to I need to be in the ER within an hour, you ain't got your inhaler on you and you almost 40? You've had asthma for how long?
00:26:02
Speaker
I don't think it's really on him, but I don't think it's on her. Like I think she shouldn't have got upset, but I think they could have went an Uber either way. Yeah. Yeah. Like I wasn't an Uber offered to him and his wife. Yeah. Why didn't he just say, well, he just be like, Oh dang, babe, we got to go. I call it Uber now. Okay. Well, also it depends on what, like how quickly the Uber would get there. Because if he was basically on the verge of dying,
00:26:29
Speaker
Maybe it would have been quicker for the father-in-law to wrap everybody up, get in the car, and speed to the Airbnb. But all I'm saying is, why couldn't they go to the Airbnb? And come back. And come back. Or just send the wife back with the car once after the hour was over to go pick everybody up. I also thought about that too. But no, Perry, she's spoiled.
00:26:54
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to call her Brad. Why are you upset over somebody's medical disease that he can't control? Okay, and so somebody in the comments was like, you're the asshole for not taking your inhaler with you. If your asthma is that bad. And the guy that posted he goes, honestly, I do own that. I haven't had an incident in 10 years and it gotten complicit.
00:27:13
Speaker
I immediately ordered another. That's when I either have severe asthma or you don't. 10 years? Maybe it's severe in the fact that it goes from like zero to one like very quickly as opposed to like a moderate. Actually, I don't know. I've never really had like an asthma issue. That's happened to me where mine went from like zero to one hundred real quick, but that was like what? Middle school?
00:27:37
Speaker
Well, yeah. But, like, can you have a mild form of, like, asthma? Like, a mild asthma attack? Like, one you can get over relatively quickly? Or do you, like, absolutely need your inhaler every time you feel like one's coming off? If it's an asthma attack, I need my inhaler. But all I'm saying is, this man, if you know your asthma can be that bad, bring your inhaler with you. What you mean, 10 years? I got complicit. Being complicit for 10 years
00:28:07
Speaker
Me, me, yo, and Taylor at home. Like you didn't even pack it on vacation. If he didn't pack it on vacation, oh my goodness. Like I haven't had like an asthma thing in years.
00:28:24
Speaker
I don't even know where an inhaler is. If I have an asthma attack, y'all better get me to the ER. An inhaler? Nowhere to be found. That's complicit. What this man did, would you bring your inhaler 10 years later? You telling me you ain't had an asthma attack since you were 26? And you still bring your inhaler around? Something's not adding up.
00:28:51
Speaker
Maybe he has like flare ups because I have flare ups, but they're not really attacks. Like I can just sit there wheezing for hours. Okay. I guess that's what I was saying. Like, can you have like a mild form of it? So I guess that would be a flare up, but do you absolutely need your inhaler when you have a flare up or can you just like tough it out? I mean, I can tough it out, but it's miserable until you get your inhaler. Oh, okay. That's what I was thinking. Like maybe he's just having like, you know, mild symptoms. It's like,
00:29:20
Speaker
It's never gotten this bad. Something must have triggered it. And second of all, yeah. I mean, you were drinking a whiskey. It was that this they were outside in Austin. Oh, OK. And another. It was the birch. Another thing. Why does he need to apologize to her? Like, why are you demanding an apology for this man for having an asthma attack?
00:29:49
Speaker
it could and also i don't understand why it's such a big deal and why people have this like weird thing about apologizing all he had to be is like hey yo my bad my lungs were not down to hang yeah you know like a general i'm so sorry to everybody yeah but also if you were really that upset about leaving early taking over you were offered one yeah like they could just stay behind
00:30:09
Speaker
because that would have been my defense. You wouldn't have known for me and I gave you a segue. Did they offer to pay for it? Because you know how Austin is with like prices? Did they just say, Oh, y'all can get an Uber? Because if I had a ride already and someone was like, get an Uber and the Uber costs $40, I'm not getting an Uber. I'm just going to be mad. I got to leave now.
00:30:35
Speaker
Okay, even if they were, if they weren't, if you were that intoxicated, you'd be down to say yes to anything. So... And that's probably why she said yes. I mean, she was like, I guess, but I mean, I would have loved to like, alone more. And also, as for a ride from somebody, you were at a family wedding. With your family. Oh yeah, that's true. She could have. Ask somebody to drop you off. Text them the address before you get even more wasted.
00:31:05
Speaker
and they can drop you off. So personally, there's no demanding an apology. You should have thought about it more before you got into the vehicle. Yeah, and that's how I feel about that. Well, are you looking for another one? Oh, no, should I? I
Social Media Analysis
00:31:25
Speaker
can. OK, I want to talk about this little tidbit real quick because I don't think Raven, you're up to date on this.
00:31:30
Speaker
But there is a drama TikTok page about Brooklyn and Bailey. And they're like, what? What is it about? They're calling them out on like every single thing that they've ever said in videos. Like when Brooklyn got engaged, she was like, me and Brooks have been dating for well over a year. And then somebody then went and fact checked it. They were dating for like nine months and then they got engaged.
00:31:55
Speaker
And somebody in the comments was like, well, technically you're still dating when you're engaged. So they could have been dating for well over a year, yada, yada, yada. And then they were talking about, um, wait, I said, yeah, I said Brooks Dakota. Sorry. There was another thing about Brooks. He just got married. Um, and then they were talking about Dakota's, uh, political beliefs and his family's political beliefs and that he's such a like big Donald Trump fan.
00:32:24
Speaker
And then Brooklyn, Facebook. And then Brooklyn came out and said, he's changed his views. He is very much pro choice now, supports the LGBTQIA plus community, supports BLM, yada, yada, yada. It shouldn't matter. And you know, they're not necessarily wrong in that stance. Like it really shouldn't matter. But at the same time, like if you're so pro all of these things, how are you gonna marry somebody who's not pro all of these things?
00:32:52
Speaker
And she said he didn't change his views until they got together. So I just wanna know how that conversation worked out. And then somebody asked her, they posted another clip from a video about how they asked her if her and Dakota were waiting until marriage from a TikTok Live. And she was like, I don't feel comfortable answering that question. So then they went to every single video that anybody has ever asked them about, are y'all waiting until marriage from like,
00:33:18
Speaker
Well, all of the times that Brooklyn has said that she is until then and they're like, okay, so why were you comfortable talking about it then versus now? Are you saying like you have already done it? And to be quite honest, if we're using our context clues, all four of them were living in a rental house together. Put two and two together. You didn't need to go on TikTok. Yes, they probably did, but also probably none of your business.
00:33:45
Speaker
What'd you say? They're also a lot, they're like not in the spotlight as much. No, but I went down the rabbit hole. I watched 20 videos while I watched all of them and was like, Oh my goodness. They came for Rylan. They came for Camry. They came for the whole family, basically, about how they don't think the Daxton gets included a lot in like the videos. But that's also because he's blatantly said he doesn't want to be in them. Yeah. Or like.
00:34:10
Speaker
Um, somebody asked Mindy if she thinks that Dax and Paisley are going to graduate high school early. And she was like, it'll be a miracle if Dax and just graduates because you know, he's on the spectrum. He's had like some learning difficulties. Paisley probably doesn't want to because she loves being at home. And they were like, you're sharing too much information about your son's journey. They've talked about this already. He's talked about it. If we're going to come with the facts, come correct. I mean, I'm just like,
00:34:37
Speaker
were that invested in these people's lives that we have to go and clip every single video that they posted. And then they were like, in the video where they did the period thing, like they were going all around the 50 states, they were like, well, when they posted the donation link, they had already made $6,000. And then they went and screenshotted who sent like the money. 5,000 was from her parents. And then another 1,000 was from Dakota. And they were like, okay, why are we gliding about $6,000 when it's from your family members?
00:35:07
Speaker
$6,000 and $6,000. I don't know where it came from. Thank you. It's not like anybody's parents can just drop $5,000. Yeah, that's very interesting. Did y'all hear about the Colleen Hoover drama with a coloring book?
Colleen Hoover Controversy
00:35:24
Speaker
Yes. I don't understand. You're not on TikTok. I've been on social media for three days and I'm already missing so much. I don't understand why it's a big deal. It's a coloring book. Okay, so Colleen Hoover
00:35:37
Speaker
was gonna release and it ends with us coloring. What would even be in there? I didn't understand that either, like the flowers. Like all the biggest moments of the end. Can I guess? Can I guess? We don't know what's in there. We got a set of stairs. We got a steaming casserole. We don't know what's in there. An elevator. Thanks. But everyone on TikTok is getting mad because it's like such a like deep and like
00:36:06
Speaker
it has like a big meaning like it has like a big overall meaning and they think of coloring because it's going to diminish that meaning and then they're like the big moments like they're going to be a coloring page of Ralph pushing down the stairs. Yeah, Lilly. I was going to be armed with a bite mark on it. I was thinking we were like going to have like an archway or like her storefront that says like I think it was going to be her floor shop
00:36:32
Speaker
Atlas's restaurant, his house. I just think a little dory in there. Yeah, I didn't or like her watching Ellen with him. I didn't think it would be like, oh, this is a picture you can color Lily falling down the stairs. But like, that's a big moment. So yeah, but it's a coloring book. There's some excitement. You don't want to be crying as you're coloring. I just think that I just feel like that's her worst book to do that with.
00:37:01
Speaker
There's gotta be like, yeah, if she has so many other books, why does she have to pick that one? Yeah, why does she have to pick that one? It's probably because it's her most popular, but like, Colleen, read the room. Personally. She could do a coloring book with any... with a lot of her books, really. What made her choose a coloring book? She should have done one, like, of all of her books combined. Yeah, and then like, you could easily leave out the majority of It Ends With Us. Yeah. You could do like, flowers.
00:37:35
Speaker
Yeah, like you remember, like that specific flower thing they were talking about that sounds so but ugly, that like steampunk with the purple slime. That sounds so ugly. And like you can't put people in the coloring book because we don't, like it's our interpretation of what they look like. Until the movie comes out. Yeah. I mean, if I had to pick who Lilly looks like, I can't, I don't know her actual name. Like if I saw a picture of her, I don't know who she is, but I just know she has red hair.
00:38:04
Speaker
Everything I read, everybody is black. Everybody is black. Lillie Blossom Bloom is black. Black. Atlas? Yes. Black. Black. Maybe Brile? Atlas can be black. Lillie Blossom Bloom. Lillie Rose Bloom. Whatever her name is. Of African descent.
00:38:34
Speaker
Alyssa and Marshall? Black. I literally pictured Marshall as a Marshall from- Yes! From, uh, How I Met Your Mother. Y'all, I only read reader inserts, so is there? Anytime!
00:38:53
Speaker
Lilly Casey I only read reader inserts I don't believe in I don't believe in characters if there's a main character it's me okay I do that too the main character is me which is why they're always black but like if I'm picturing
00:39:11
Speaker
If I'm actually trying to picture who she would look like. Oh, I can't do that. So it doesn't matter. She is of Caucasian descent with red hair. I can't. I can't do that. It don't matter. And then if they describe what they look like in the book, I'm like, OK, I can kind of put like. No, they go. They go. They go blue. They go blue eyes. I go brown eyes. They go straight blonde hair. Curly dark hair.
00:39:38
Speaker
They go, she's 6'2". I go, dang, that was a typo. I think they meant to put a 5 there. But that's how I read books. Okay guys, I have one more. I didn't read through this one. Okay.
Leftovers & Living Situations
00:39:55
Speaker
Am I the asshole for talking back to my boyfriend's mom after she apologized for throwing away the leftovers I had in her fridge?
00:40:05
Speaker
This one is causing me some serious problems right now, and in addition to judgment on whether or not I was wrong to do what I did, any advice on how to move forward from here would be appreciated. I'm at a loss. Okay, so my 24 female, so the girl's 24, boyfriend, 23, of almost seven years, lives with his mom and stepdad. We spend a lot of time there because while I'm living slash house sitting,
00:40:35
Speaker
My grandma's house in town, he doesn't like spending time there. His mom lets me cook there pretty much whenever I want, provided that I clean whatever mess I make, which I do. About a week ago, I made a batch of white chicken chili for my boyfriend and I and his cousin's wife. There was plenty left over that I put in the fridge. Three days later, I was over around lunchtime and was peckish, so I decided to go heat up
00:41:02
Speaker
some of the chili, but when I got to the fridge it was gone. I asked the stepdad if he knew where it was and he said they had thrown it out because it had been in there a while and wasn't good anymore. I said there was no way it had gone bad already because I've made that recipe and kept it in the fridge for much longer just fine.
00:41:21
Speaker
I texted my boyfriend and asked why my leftovers kept getting thrown away, not the first time something was gone within a few days, and he ended up talking to his mom about it and she said that she probably shouldn't have thrown it out yet, but they usually just throw away anything that's been in the fridge for more than a day or two.
00:41:40
Speaker
He asked her to apologize since I was upset about the wasted money. I'm a first year teacher paying off college loans. And so she came to me and said basically, hey, sorry, you're upset. I threw your stuff out, but we usually throw things away after two or three days.
00:41:56
Speaker
to which I responded that I wish I'd known there was a time limit because then I'd moved the left over somewhere else. She said something along the lines of, well it's nothing to be mad about and left but I guess she said something to my boyfriend about me still being mad because he came down and yelled at me for being disrespectful to his mom and I shouldn't have said anything back except thanks because it's her house.
00:42:22
Speaker
I felt I wasn't disrespectful because I didn't have a tone. I just calmly and matter-of-factly said I wish she told me that beforehand so I could have made a different decision to not be in this situation at all. Nonetheless, he's adamant that I was wildly disrespectful and should apologize to his mom for my back talk. So, am I the asshole? Oh, do you want the extra information? Yeah.
00:42:49
Speaker
Okay, first one. I have been actively encouraged by my boyfriend and my boyfriend's mom in the past, yes even in the recent past, to cook there and treat the kitchen slash house as my house as well. When I cook, I buy my own ingredients with the exception of things like flour, sugar, milk, eggs, and spices because it's ridiculous to have a separate pantry for me in their house. However, I've also bought those things and more food stuff for the house before to repay using her stuff.
00:43:17
Speaker
Two, I do not have my own kitchen nor do I have the ability to get my own place now or in the near future. I live with my grandma in town and pay a modest amount of her rent and then after Christmas she leaves her Florida until the spring and I watch the house. I first moved in when I graduated college to help watch the house while she was gone. My boyfriend doesn't like to be at my grandma's house much even when she's not there because it's not his house.
00:43:42
Speaker
So he has to take care with someone else's things and he just can't go out in the garage and work on his truck whenever he likes. So we don't end up spending much time at my grandma's house. Yes, I've talked to him about this. No, it hasn't really gotten anywhere. The reality is the stuff I have to work on is generally more portable than his stuff.
00:44:02
Speaker
So if we both have things to get done, but we want to also spend time together, it makes more sense to be there. The dinner part had been frustrating, frustrating, frustrating.
00:44:14
Speaker
me though because i've been feeling like i was taking over the kitchen a lot lately and wanted to go to grandma's but bf assured me it was fine and his mom didn't mind as far as taking things with me when i left over the next couple days after the chili was made we were in and out a lot but really we left his house to go to my house it was usually to go to his cousin's house or some holiday party with friends or family
00:44:37
Speaker
my own birthday party at my parents house when we were leaving to go somewhere else it really didn't make sense to try and grab leftovers because then i'd just be carding it from someone else's kitchen to a different someone else's kitchen and on top of that it's not like moving the chili it was at the forefront of my mind which leaves me too
00:44:55
Speaker
It wasn't a huge container like a crock-pock fool or anything. It was a medium to large size stackable Tupperware container and I made sure I stacked it underneath the other stuff they had in the fridge so it didn't get in the way of them using the fridge. And yes, despite having been around for almost 7 years and using the kitchen,
00:45:12
Speaker
I didn't know about the hard and fast two to three day rule. Usually we didn't have leftovers when I cooked at his house because everyone was eating with us. It's only fairly recently that there have been a couple instances of ending up with leftovers. The only other leftovers are usually takeaway boxes. So. I don't think two to three days.
00:45:38
Speaker
I kinda think the mom went to the sun and was like, oh my god, why was she so mad about it? Why was she whenever she was just like, oh dang? That's crazy, I didn't know about that rule. I guess I know now, now I won't keep my food in there. Also, but total three days? You telling me you would rather be in the house with your mommy and daddy than in a house alone with your girlfriend that she has for one quarter of the year?
00:46:04
Speaker
I mean, if it's like because he's working on his truck, I kind of get that because if you have like all of the tools at your house, you don't want to pack all of them. But does he need to be working on his truck all the time that he can't even go over and stay with his girlfriend for a couple days? Exactly. And second of all, two to three days if you want to throw out white chicken chili. No, four to five. Sorry, really hated about that because it's very good.
00:46:32
Speaker
Hopefully hers was really good. And also that kind of sucks. Second of all, why don't your boyfriend say anything about, oh, we're not done with that yet, or something to that degree. Second of all, why didn't she eat any? Not her, mom. I just feel like she went and she checked and she was like, oh, my chili's gone.
00:46:56
Speaker
I feel like they escalated it to something she didn't mean it to be. I feel like she was just like, oh, dang, where'd my chili go? And the subject was like, oh, we probably threw it out because we usually throw stuff out every couple of days. She was just like, oh, dang. I wish I would have known that. So you're telling me, when you go grocery shopping, you buy a tomato.
00:47:17
Speaker
and you take a slice of tomato the first day, you get it. We're throwing it out for three days. Leftovers are different than food. This is cooked like a meal. I don't think so. I think it's a four to five day rule, sometimes a week, depending on what it is. I'll risk my chances after the fifth day. Yeah, no more than a week. Yeah, after a week, it's time to let it go.
00:47:43
Speaker
make sure I eat stuff before the week is up because I'll be like I don't really want this now but like I'm not gonna be able to have it later now restaurant leftovers are different you can't house that for a week that's a two to three day rule really two maybe one to two but you really should be eating it the next day now me and his mom would have had to fight because why are you throwing away perfectly good chili but I thought
00:48:13
Speaker
I see Alexis as the girlfriend that's having, I would have just been like, dang, my chili. And then the mom would have been like, and the mom was just like, oh yeah, we usually, and I would have just been like, okay. I'm like, dang, Sharon, I wish I would have known. I have one in my chili. Her face, I would have said that. To y'all in a group chat, I would have said all of what I just said. Alexis would have listened. What'd you say? It wouldn't be a big deal. I would have totally forgot about it by the time it was.
00:48:42
Speaker
No, I wouldn't have forgotten because I would be going with the antennas. Oh, I'm gonna have some great chili when I get there. Honestly, yeah, I probably wouldn't have thought about it to like tell people either. I would have just been like, that y'all would have been like, we don't even ask each other. But if y'all just happened to ask me what I have for lunch, I would have just been like, I was gonna eat chili, but then I just like, that it wasn't there no more. So I ate something else.
00:49:04
Speaker
And then I would pout in silence that my chili has been taken. I'm going to starve myself for the duration of my stay here. And then I'm going to go home and I'm going to vent. But honestly, I wouldn't cook at his house. Neither would I, because I feel like it's kind of like an invasion of like, are you like, well, I guess they've been together for seven years, which is probably like pretty comfortable doing it at this point. Probably. I have my own seasonings, my own
00:49:29
Speaker
prefer pants for things to go in. But also like different, I guess like every once in a while, but it's sound like she cooks there almost every night, which is weird that he can't even come over to her place like every couple of days. And if she is cooking every single night, where do you put your leftovers then? Do we eat those into the three days? But everybody eat with him? No. Yeah, she said that. Yeah, she said she said they don't usually have leftovers.
00:49:58
Speaker
Yeah, I'm very passionate about this. I mean, I'm not like a big leftovers person, but I feel like two to three days is just a little too much. Like you come over with the intent of eating and it's not there. It's like when Raven had a Martinelli's in her fridge and her brother drank it. Like you were thinking about, oh, I'm going to drink that again. Like, oh, I have another one. No, you don't.
00:50:23
Speaker
Honestly, as someone with an older brother, this happens to my food a lot. I go to the fridge, I go, I can't wait to eat this. Even when they're moved out. Even when they're moved out. Even when they don't live here. You go thinking something is safe in your fridge, and it's not. It's like if you have an older brother, food is never safe. I've never had that experience.
00:50:53
Speaker
I bet you Alexis always got to eat her leftovers. Yeah, and I'll stick my mom. I bet you Alexis has never had to have to fight somebody be like, No, I called it. It's mine. I called it. When did you call it last night whenever nobody was around? No. Okay, so
00:51:11
Speaker
we're about to move in with each other we were talking about so like what's your preferred role on leftovers and I was like I'm not really a big leftovers person to begin with from like if it's a pasta I'm not eating it because I had a bad experience
00:51:24
Speaker
with a hard crunchy noodle one time when I was heating my spaghetti up from Olive Garden and I just can't bear myself to take another pasta. I tear up leftover pasta. Leftover spaghetti is like better than first day spaghetti. I barely like spaghetti now. Oh my God. Second day spaghetti.
00:51:46
Speaker
Like, fettuccine alfredo done eaten up the best, but I still love me some reheated-up fettuccine alfredo. If it's past that 24-hour mark, I'm not eating it. If it's a burger and say I only ate half of it, I'm eating it cold. I refuse to warm it up. Alexis, I've seen you take leftovers from Olive Garden. Yeah, but do I eat them when I get home is the question. Nine times out of 10, they go to my mom because I refuse to eat leftover pasta.
00:52:15
Speaker
dang that was crazy all the time no no so yeah we were talking about like would you be upset if i ate your leftovers no because if i don't eat it the next day i'm not gonna eat it at all my answer is tell me before you eat it yeah like check in with me don't just like eat it if i'm at work all day just thinking about that spaghetti i have at home
00:52:39
Speaker
Well, why don't you pack it? Why don't you pack it for lunch? Because spaghetti is a little too heavy to be eaten at 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Spaghetti is an after 4 p.m. meal. I am eating spaghetti at 1130 in the morning. Yeah, no, like Thanksgiving dinner, you know, like, well, I guess I don't house hop, but like when we do, we take food from other people's houses. That is a one day
00:53:04
Speaker
I'm not eating Thanksgiving food until the following weekend. That's not how I roll. So like when we were in Houston for Thanksgiving, his dad and him, he's gonna listen to this and be like, oh really? But him and his dad are like really big on taking leftovers. No, I'm good. I'm good. I'll figure it out. I'll be eating ham sandwiches after holidays. Like nobody morning ham sandwich. I don't even ask him.
00:53:35
Speaker
In the morning, you make a ham sandwich and you put syrup on it. And then in the afternoon, you make it normal with, you know, mayo and mustard. And then for your snack, you just get, you get a dinner roll and you make a mini ham sandwich later. We should really just like go through all of the foods I refuse to eat. One day. That's a long list of things. I mean tearing up ham sandwiches.
00:53:59
Speaker
One thing about food, I like how I've started eating new foods. Like, you know what? Y'all couldn't pay me to eat chitlins. But hogma? I love me. I love me some hogma. Okay, that sounds gross. Okay, chitlins are gross. Hogma is delicious. It is a textural mwah. It is so flavorful. And it just got that texture of like,
00:54:29
Speaker
I don't know how to describe it. It's just so good. It's a good texture, though. Yeah, I'm trying to work myself up to like eating cottage cheese for the first time because I keep saying I want to do it because everyone keeps blending it on TikTok. I'll never eat cottage cheese. But I'm like, I don't know if it's the chunks that's like making me uncomfortable. Should I blend it to taste it? Oh, my gosh, it was Friday. I know. I'm so excited. They get off at eleven thirty. And I have to work at four.
00:54:58
Speaker
I know, I have to go to work at 5.30 and I need to wash my work clothes. Oh, she was saying AM. I was going to be like, Oh, I really do not want to go to work though. And neither do I. I'll take my 60 bucks and go home. Like, I don't even know how much money we're going to make because apparently we're supposed to be really slow. I need to shave my legs.
00:55:25
Speaker
But I'm, I'm mad. I really, I really solidified myself as a drink station person. Is that bad? Like, no, I don't mind drink station. Like I like drink station better than delivery. But I really just, I'm trying to be a theater host. Well, okay. I think we've chit chatted. Yeah. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I forced us into
00:55:55
Speaker
mean you really didn't take because no one because no one else had any ideas um but yeah see y'all next week peace out bye raven nobody can see you waving love you mean it stop