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Episode 2: Practical Ways to Build a Christian Home
65 Plays3 years ago
Mentioned in this episode:
For Better or for Kids by Patrick and Ruth Schwenk
Family Mission Statement/Values Download
Article on Discipline by Patrick Schwenk
Faith Forward Family Devotional by Patrick and Ruth Schwenk
Additional Resources to help build a Christian home
Indescribable by Louie Giglio
Living Loud: Defending Your Faith by Norman Geisler
Connect with Ruth here:
Connect with Pat here:
Please share Rootlike Faith with your friends!
This podcast is produced and edited by Angie Elkins Media, Inc.
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Transcript
Introduction to Root Like Faith
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi, I'm Ruth Schwank and I'm so thrilled you're listening in with us at Root Like Faith. It is our deepest desire to encourage and equip men and women to be rooted in God's word, transformed by the love of Jesus and moved by his mission in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Focus on Family and Christian Home
00:00:17
Speaker
Nothing is more important. Well, I'm really excited for today's episode because, well,
00:00:23
Speaker
I love talking about family and God's will and way for family and I love getting practical. Well today we're combining both of those. We're continuing the conversation about family from last week so if you haven't had a chance be sure to head to last week's episode and listen. So we're going to continue that conversation and today's episode of Root Lake Faith we are diving into the nuts and bolts of building a Christian home.
00:00:50
Speaker
Like, how do we actually do that? Like, is that even possible? Well, this is going to be good.
Personal Stories and Family Transitions
00:00:55
Speaker
So let's get started. As we start a new year and a new season, we're looking at faith in the family. And last week, we kind of laid this foundation and talked about what the Bible has to say about family. Today, we're going to take that a step further and we're going to get practical, which I absolutely love. We're going to talk about how to build a Christian home and family.
00:01:18
Speaker
So again, we kicked this topic off last week. If you didn't have a chance, be sure you go listen to that episode. We probably, I think you brought up your hair in that, like you always, well, your lack of. You know, the one thing I didn't bring up though, I did bring up my hair or my desire for hair, my envy of Bob Ross's hair, but I didn't bring up that my birthday's in February.
00:01:37
Speaker
Oh no. I know I mentioned that in maybe both of the Christmas episodes. And so I just feel like now that we're only, I think it's like two weeks away. Honey. Our listener. And so I just want to make mention of that. February 27th.
00:01:49
Speaker
is my birthday. I'll be 46 this year. Oh honey, you're not supposed to tell people how old you are. Listen, I am secure in my identity in Christ. I'm a child of God. He loves me and accepts me. Okay. I can say how old I am. Okay. But I don't think, okay, this is the thing. This is what you guys need to know that Pat literally every year, all for like two months leading up to his birthday, every message he preaches on a Sunday morning, he has to remind people that it's his birthday. So apparently,
00:02:18
Speaker
My spiritual gift is receiving. You know what I mean? I want to give people an opportunity. I don't want to steal somebody's joy of giving. I'm not sure that our listeners are going to send you a gift, honey. I'm sorry. I can at least make the request. That's between them and the Lord. Anyways, moving on. Sorry about that. Oh my goodness. Now I don't even know where I was going with this.
00:02:38
Speaker
Oh yeah, we're talking about faith in the family and practically what that looks like. I did want to mention that we brought up Bob Ross last week, so you want to listen to that episode. Right. And in episode one, we really did paint that big picture of God's heart for the family, his vision for the family, and just what it is that we're chasing after. So when we talk about these practical things today, it's really in the context of what
Financial Lessons in Early Marriage
00:02:58
Speaker
God's vision and heart for the family really is and how we are called to pass on faith to the next generation.
00:03:03
Speaker
Yeah, and I think if we're all being honest, it's a little difficult to make that transition from when you're married to being married with kids. It's like a whiplash. Yeah, that's the word I was gonna use. My word.
00:03:18
Speaker
We're one. Anyways, why is it so hard? I don't know. Well, I remember one of the, you're exactly right. I mean, I think we were married for maybe four, almost five years before we had Tyler. We had four kids. And so Tyler now is in college and it is, it's a tough transition going from married to married with kids. And I think early on in our marriage, you know, we made all sorts and we still do, made all sorts of mistakes, but, um,
00:03:46
Speaker
I remember one of the mistakes we made is we did what every financial advisor tells you not to do. We bought a car and then we leased a car. Don't tell people these things. Well, you know, I remember I remember leasing a red Jetta. Oh, it was amazing. I mean, it was great. I could tell you the salesman's name still at that dealer in Chicago. And it was a terrible mistake financially. We should have never done that. Well, because it was lease.
00:04:10
Speaker
It was a lease. You're not supposed to do that when you first get married. I don't think Dave Ramsey's listening in, but if he is. Okay. Anyways, so we made that mistake. And I remember we drove that car for several years and then we started having kids. Yeah, you can have a little red Jetta.
Building a Christian Home in Modern Society
00:04:26
Speaker
No, there was like this reckoning that like, I'm going to have to get rid of this Jetta and we are destined for a minivan. And so I still, I mean, clear as day can remember the day we sold the Jetta
00:04:38
Speaker
Which, yeah, can I just say here, it worked out okay. We actually sold it and it was okay, because we ended up owning it after. I feel like I have to complete that story. Anyways, okay, back to moving on to a minivan. I remember the day that we sold the Jetta and I could tell you where we were at in the church parking lot when we met the individual who bought that and then when we bought the minivan. And there was this train, we went from, you know, it was a 1999, which that sounds really old, but it was new at the time, a 1999 red Jetta.
00:05:07
Speaker
We transitioned from that into a Ford Aero Star, which had so much rust on it that you felt like when you went through a puddle, you needed to lift your legs up. I really felt unsafe. Let's just be honest. I mean, anyways.
00:05:22
Speaker
But anyways, I just remember that transition of going, oh, wow, we really are moving from married to married with children. And there was this new world we were stepping into. And of course, the minivan was just one part of that. And you realize you are now in a whole new world trying to figure out what it meant to be married.
00:05:43
Speaker
what it meant to be a parent and just how challenging that is. And it's one of the reasons why years later we would write the book for better for kids about love your spouse with kids in the house, because it's a challenge to have a God honoring marriage and to be good and Godly parents and for, for those to coexist. And so it's a real challenge. And that's really what we want to talk about today.
00:06:03
Speaker
is now as a married couple that's building a family, or maybe you have kids that are grown, maybe they're teenagers or they're in college. I mean, hopefully what we talk about today can apply to all sorts of different circumstances and dynamics.
Practical Ways to Build Family Faith
00:06:18
Speaker
As we said in episode one, we understand that there are probably people listening that maybe they're in a situation where maybe they're a single parent, maybe they're in a blended family, maybe they're a grandparent trying to help raise their grandkids. And so no matter what your situation is,
00:06:33
Speaker
We just think God can use you and desires to use the family, and so we want to talk about some very simple, practical ways for a family, no matter what the dynamic, no matter what the circumstance, you know, can pass on faith to that next generation and shape a child's soul, and ultimately send that child out into the world to be a follower of Jesus who's walking with God, loves God, and is serving God.
00:06:55
Speaker
Yeah, and I think I should say here, though, that I had always wanted to be a mom. And I know not everybody identifies with that. But I went into motherhood, and we went into parenthood very excited. So I don't want to downplay the beauty and the incredible gift that being a parent is. That doesn't negate the fact that it's really hard. And so I think we can hold both of those realities. Absolutely. I'm glad you brought that up, because I feel like every time we teach on the family,
00:07:23
Speaker
whether it's in a church or in this setting. I always say I love being a dad. It is an absolute joy and I just love being a parent. There's so much about it that I love and yet with anything that we do that we love, there are challenges.
00:07:41
Speaker
I wanna just say really quickly too that I think we wanna try to avoid, I think sometimes when people talk about parenting or Christian parenting, there's these two extremes that kind of come to the surface that we just wanna be careful of and maybe I'll just state them very simply. But the two extremes, I mean, number one is that it's all up to God. And so we just have this idea that, oh, you know what, it's by God's grace that my child's gonna turn out. And so I just, who cares what I do? And obviously it is God's grace that ultimately it's the same grace that saved us, is the same grace that will save our kids someday.
00:08:10
Speaker
But that doesn't mean we don't have a responsibility. And so there is that one extreme where a parent might say, oh, this is all God's work. And so it doesn't matter what kind of parent I am. And so it's God's work. And then the other extreme is that it's all up to me. And I've got to be the perfect parent. I've got to do everything right. And that's an unhealthy extreme. And so I always think of the analogy in the Old Testament where God
00:08:32
Speaker
He says to the Israelites, I'm going to give you the Promised Land, but then He also says to them, go take it. And so there's sort of that tension there. On the one hand, it is God's grace that was to give the Israelites the Promised Land, but yet they also had a responsibility to be obedient and to go into the Promised Land. I think you can apply that
00:08:52
Speaker
When you're thinking about parenting that on the one hand it is God's grace That's at work in us and through us and the Holy Spirit is at work in our kids lives And we want to keep praying for our kids and doing everything we can to see you know God bring them to saving faith and in Jesus
00:09:07
Speaker
But at the same time, we have this real responsibility to walk in faithfulness and obedience and to live out these biblical principles and commands. And so I just want to state that upfront as we begin talking about some practical things related to building a Christian home, building a Christian family.
Avoiding Child-Centered Dynamics
00:09:22
Speaker
That's really good. I love approaching this in a balanced manner, and I think that's the overall point.
00:09:29
Speaker
Okay, let's get going here on just some of the challenges that we can see as parents and families. Let's talk about the unique challenges that can arise when we're trying to build a Christian home. Because I think if we are aware of them, we can be proactive versus being reactive. And so that's why it's important to talk about this.
00:09:53
Speaker
Yeah, I think as we were talking about in episode one, there are just so many challenges to the family today and the culture that we're living in. I mean, as we looked at Genesis 1 in our episode last week, universes 27 and 28, we see God's vision for the family.
00:10:09
Speaker
He says to a man and a woman that they are to become one flesh and to build a family, and that families to be this bedrock, this foundation for a healthy culture, the family's meant to shape civilization. So when the family is strong, a society is strong. And when a family is weak and falling apart, then that society is going to fall apart. And we're seeing that in our own day. I mean, I'm not a doomsday prophet.
00:10:32
Speaker
But we're just seeing the breakdown of the family in our culture. We're seeing the breakdown of our culture itself in society. That's why this matters. Chaos and darkness. And so it matters with the kind of family we're building. And so it's so important. But there are so many, I think, unique challenges that we're facing.
00:10:50
Speaker
in our day. I think it's important to remember that the very first social unit, if you will, that the enemy goes after is the family. So you just go back to Genesis 1, Genesis 2, and then Genesis 3, which is the story of Adam and Eve's fall, their disobedience, their stepping out of relationship with God. Satan attacked the family. He attacked a marriage. He attacked a family.
00:11:14
Speaker
And throughout the ages, Satan's attack on the family and on marriage has looked different. But I think it's just worth noting that marriage and family takes place in the context of a battle. And we're facing a unique battle in our culture today. And so I think you see all sorts of things that are threats to our culture. I mean, we live in a very secular culture that has dismissed God, that wants nothing to do with God, that has rejected the scripture as God's word. We're living in a culture that is incredibly
00:11:44
Speaker
addicted to busyness and there's just so many different activities and things that can tear a family apart. We were talking recently about social media, the uniqueness of that and the influence that comes when you have kids in front of a screen, whether that's YouTube or TV or Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, whatever it is. I mean, we are
00:12:04
Speaker
oftentimes allowing our kids to be exposed to things that are so unique and can be so detrimental to the formation of their soul becoming more and more like Christ. And in our book, we talk about this idea of being child-centered, me-centered, and God-centered. And I think those are some unique challenges that a marriage and family face as well.
00:12:24
Speaker
Yeah, well, I think just starting with being child centered, that's something that we definitely can struggle with. And I wanted to read from our
Challenges and Rewards of Parenting
00:12:34
Speaker
book a few problems that you can see arising. So if any of this resonates with you, when we become child centered in our marriage and things
00:12:45
Speaker
You know, revolve around our kids in particular. These are some of the problems that we can see arise. A couple's needs are neglected. Intimacy dwindles. Romance cools. Conflicts go unresolved. Meaningful communication becomes infrequent or non-existent. Ooh, that can, that's, that's getting real. We've never struggled with that.
00:13:09
Speaker
That's for other people. Like, when did we talk last? No, this is when we talk, you know, on the podcast. That's why I love to record these, honey. It's time with you anyway. Oh, attention and affection shift from spouse to child.
00:13:25
Speaker
Financial decisions are dominated by the child's needs and wants. I would say also here even like time and commitments can just revolve around everything that your child is doing. So you know some of those are I think warning signs of a child-centered marriage. Now again I feel like we have to state though that there's a balance here. Of course I mean your children you do
00:13:50
Speaker
You're a bad parent if you're not taking care of your kids. Exactly. Thank you for just making that very concise, because that's the bottom line. But those are some things that I would just keep in mind and be aware of.
00:14:00
Speaker
Yeah, I think those are so good. And I think again, like you said, those are warning signs that maybe a husband and a wife have become overly focused to the detriment of their, you know, they become overly focused on their child's needs and they're neglecting their own. Right. So that's when a marriage, their desire to be a good parent now is affecting their desire in pursuit of having a good marriage.
00:14:21
Speaker
And so you kind of see those warning signs of having a child-centered marriage or family. And then I think, you know, the really obvious one is a B-centered marriage or family. And that's very simple. It's just when we're at the center, our desires, our wants, our comfort. You know, a dad comes home and instead of going out and playing ball with the boys or his daughter going for a walk with her, it's like he just wants to sit down and binge on Netflix or watch, you know, just kind of checking out or sometimes I think
00:14:46
Speaker
you know, guys can struggle with this where it's like, oh, it's easier for me to commit my time and energy mentally and emotionally at the office or in the workplace, but I don't commit to those same things in my home with my wife or my kids.
00:15:00
Speaker
And so there's all sorts of examples of having a me centered marriage and family, but I think it's when we become ultimately the center and it's our desires, our wishes, our comfort that really begin to rule or overrule everything else. And again, what we're really after in our marriage and our family is having a Jesus centered marriage and family where we're sacrificial and servant lovers of one another. He's at the center and we're rooting our lives in Him. And it's about knowing Him and walking with Him and honoring Him.
00:15:31
Speaker
and living out His purposes. And in our parenting, we're looking at trying to raise, intentionally raise kids that love the Lord, that want to walk with Him and serve Him and glorify Him in all that they do when they leave our homes someday. And so we want to reject that child-centered marriage and family. We certainly want to reject a me-centered marriage and family, but really pursue having a God-centered or Jesus-centered marriage and family. That's what God is after. That's the kind of home we want to be seeking to build.
00:15:57
Speaker
Yeah. And I should mention here that in our book for better or for kids, we do have, like, if you're thinking, Oh, I wonder if we're struggling with this, we have a couple of different assessments in there to kind of see where you're at with this. Um, I, I also think I should say here that this should be a struggle. I mean, this is parenting is hard work. Raising a family is hard work. And so this should be a struggle that does not go away.
00:16:24
Speaker
I think we live in a culture that's addicted to easy, and we are addicted to easy in so many different ways. I mean, we just want the comfortable route, the easy route, the quick route, and there's just nothing easy or fast or quick or comfortable about honoring God and walking with Him, whether that's in your church or whatever, but certainly as we're talking today,
00:16:44
Speaker
about honoring Him in your home, your marriage, and your family. I mean, this is tough work. It is rewarding. It's exciting. It's fun. It can be disheartening, discouraging, scary at the times.
Creating Intentional Family Rhythms
00:16:54
Speaker
But you're exactly right. I mean, anything worth pursuing as we're following God is going to be difficult. And so we have to be faithful and persevere and trust God and keep walking with Him as we seek to build a Christian home that's going to honor Him and be a healthy environment for our kids. Yeah.
00:17:11
Speaker
It reminds me of Bob Ross. What is it with Bob Ross? You've really two episodes in a row now. I had no idea you were talking so much. Well, I'm just talking about the struggle, you know, and I just want people, I don't want our listeners to feel discouraged.
00:17:28
Speaker
when the struggle is real, because it is. And as you start, what I talked about in the last episode, if you haven't listened to that one, is that Bob, I used to watch Bob Ross when I was little do these paintings on PBS, and he starts with this blank canvas, and he's slowly painting this beautiful picture that you have no, it just all of a sudden starts to come to life, and he's doing this brush stroke after brush stroke, and then all of a sudden you see a tree in the picture, and you're like, oh, it's beautiful, it's coming to life,
00:17:57
Speaker
And I feel like in parenting, we're taking these little steps and we're like, is this even making a difference? What we're doing here, raising these, and then all of a sudden you see the tree. All of a sudden, what you were telling your child, actually there's a light bulb moment. And you see them actually start to do that on their own and follow Jesus on their own. But it's a struggle and it takes hard work and it's day after day,
00:18:22
Speaker
And so I just want to say that because I know how easy it can be to get discouraged. I feel like you take three steps forward, two steps back, three steps forward, one step back. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think it's the ultimate act of surrender when you're thinking about your own kids. And I thought about that often when I was diagnosed where I was like, oh no, I want to be around to continue
00:18:45
Speaker
leading my kids and teaching them and being there at different life events. And that was a challenge for me to go, but God, you love my kids more than I do. And they're yours. You brought them into the world and you knit them together in your womb. And he brought them into the world and he loves them. He's taking care of them.
00:19:05
Speaker
And whether I'm here or not, God is going to be pursuing them and loving them and drawing them to Himself. And so that was such an act of surrender for me. And I think that's such, again, going back to what we talked about before.
00:19:17
Speaker
that God doesn't call us to be perfect parents, He calls us to be faithful parents. And it's His grace that is working through us. And it really does, it can be discouraging and scary at times, because there are those moments where you're like, you were saying, oh, like you're doing family devotions or memorizing scripture, and you can just tell like, nobody's home, they're thinking about something else. And they ask about their new basketball, if you have a pump to blow it up or something.
00:19:42
Speaker
I mean, you're like, uh. Yeah, there's no revival happening. Nobody's speaking in tongues at the family dinner and devotion. And so there's those moments, right? As a parent, we're like, oh, are these seeds falling on fertile soil? And it can be scary and discouraging at times. And so as rewarding as parenting is, it can be also scary and hard at times. But we have to continue persevering, being faithful, being obedient, and ultimately trusting God's work in the process.
00:20:10
Speaker
Yeah, that's so good. So I wanted to recognize that upfront before we talk about these practical ways because you know me, I love the practical, like how can we as parents, how can we actually build a Christian home and family? Are there practical, simple things that we can do now starting today to really intentionally build our Christian home and our Christian family?
00:20:37
Speaker
Yeah, I would say one of the first places to start, and again, this is not an exhaustive list, but I think one of the first places to start is to see your home as sacred space. I remember years ago, and I think our kids were pretty young reading a book, and the author talked about how after the temple was destroyed in 70 AD, the Jewish people began to refer to their home as a little temple. Mikdash Meot is how they would say it in Hebrew.
00:21:06
Speaker
And I love that, that imagery that if we saw our home as like a little temple, or maybe if you come from a Catholic background, the Catechism of the Catholic Church describes the home or the family as a domestic church. I love that language too, because again, it reminds us that the home and the family is meant to be like this temple, this sacred space that's carved out from everything else that's out of the ordinary, it's different.
00:21:31
Speaker
And so I think starting there and going, you know what? God loves the family. He desires to use our family to pass on faith, to shape our children. And so really beginning to view your home as not just a place where you live and sleep and work and play, but there's something sacred about it. It's like a little temple where you and I as moms and dads are called to be like pastors or priests to our kids.
00:21:55
Speaker
Yeah, that's so good. So we start there, and then what do we do, though? What does that look like practically? Yeah, I guess I would add to that that not only should we see our home as a little temple, as a mikdash mayo, but again, what we've talked about before is then carrying into that home God's vision.
00:22:14
Speaker
for the family. And it goes back to Genesis 1, 27 through 28, or Deuteronomy 6, verses 4 through 9. And just having that vision that God really does want us as a family to intentionally, and that's an important word, to intentionally pass on faith, to teach our kids, to grow our kids, to nurture our kids in God's Word and in God's ways, to form virtue in them, to build character in them, so that when they leave our home, they
00:22:42
Speaker
by God's grace are walking with the Lord and are serving Him and desire to be used by Him in the world. And so I think those are two places to start, to have a vision for your home that is sacred space. It's a little temple, but also beginning to recognize that God has called us in a very intentional way to live out His vision for the family. And I think when you have that vision, that begins to then shape your behavior, your practices, or your rhythms. And I think that would be the third thing then,
00:23:10
Speaker
is to then begin establishing godly rhythms that are consistent with that vision. Yeah, and this is the part that I really love because I think, you know, it's one thing to talk about all this, it's another thing to say, okay, but what do you really mean and how do I do that? And so for us, what's been really helpful, when our kids were little, we had a family mission and values
00:23:36
Speaker
And I know that seems to some like, how do I do that? Well, I'm so excited because I literally just remembered in the middle of you talking that we have a free download that walks you through creating a family mission statement and values. And so I'll make sure that we put that in the show notes because it's extremely helpful. I understand it's extremely helpful to see what other people do and how they do it.
00:24:00
Speaker
But I will say here, what was really amazing about having that mission statement and values is that we knew what was important to us because we had stated it. We were intentional. We were proactive, like I've said before, instead of being reactive. And so when our kids started to get a little bit older and there were certain things they wanted to be involved in or be a part of, you know, it's like constant, right?
00:24:25
Speaker
We were able to kind of look back at that family mission statement and values and see if it really fit into, you know, if one of our values was eating dinner around the table together, not every night, but as much as we could, well, we probably weren't going to be able to be involved in something that would take us away from the house every single night of the week during dinner time. That's just a small example. So anyways, we have a free download that I think will help you get started with this.
00:24:54
Speaker
I think when we talk about establishing rhythms, I mean, it's those kinds of family rhythms that you create. You're talking about just the importance of eating together, which is something our culture doesn't really do anymore as much. And so I think those kinds of things.
Teaching Faith to Children
00:25:09
Speaker
But also just really practically, I mean, I think when our kids were young, we just
00:25:12
Speaker
develop the habit of doing family devotions on a regular basis, not every night, but reading through a children's Bible together. And as they got older, encouraging our kids, buying them a devotional. And so our kids now, as they're teenagers or in college,
00:25:28
Speaker
just creating that habit or helping them cultivate that habit of doing their God time each day, giving them resources that sort of speak to each child's needs or struggles. We memorize scripture together as a family. We've done that consistently over the years and sometimes inconsistently. We've encouraged our family in different ways to serve within the local church. And so just being involved as a family
00:25:52
Speaker
those kinds of rhythms, those kinds of behaviors are shaping our heart and our affections. Yeah. And again, none of this looks perfect because I think sometimes we get discouraged. Like we, we think, Oh, we did family devotions tonight and then we don't do it for a couple of nights. And then like, what's the point? We can't, we can't ever be consistent with this.
00:26:10
Speaker
But I think it's just you keep doing it. If you miss a day, you do it the next day. And when they were really little, it was so easy to just grab a little children's Bible and read a story every night before they went to sleep. And Pat mentioned that now that they're older, we buy them a devotional. So every Christmas, that's kind of a tradition that we do. We buy them a devotional for the year ahead, along with a journal. And we kind of talk through
00:26:39
Speaker
than what the year ahead looks like and some of their goals. And then it's just, I feel like it's so simple. It's not even, you know. I think it's really important for us too to remember as we're talking about this, as we're talking about, you know, passing on God's word and teaching and nurturing and establishing rhythms like serving or eating together that years ago, I heard a pastor use an analogy of a bowl with Cheerios. And he talked about how if you give a toddler
00:27:05
Speaker
a bowl of Cheerios, the bowl of Cheerios ends up all over the floor. Right. Just so truly. Just think about when our kids... But you talked about how if you give a toddler one Cheerio at a time, the likelihood of that Cheerio ending up in the toddler's mouth is far greater. Right. So when you think about your kids at a young age, you're just trying to give them Cheerio after Cheerio. You're not trying to give them the whole bowl, but with each God time, you're just trying to give them another Cheerio. As you memorize the scripture, you're giving them another Cheerio,
00:27:33
Speaker
And I think, especially when kids are young, they're very concrete in their understanding, I mean, developmentally. And so you're just trying to fill a child's heart and mind with the truth of God's word, because you know they're going to be bombarded with all sorts of false ideas and beliefs from their culture. And then as kids, roughly around the age of 10 and on up, they begin to become more abstract, which just means that they're able to reason more.
00:27:55
Speaker
and they begin to ask questions, well, how do I know this is true? And is this true? And you're like, don't ask me this. Ask your pastor, wait a minute, I am. And so I think it's really important as we're thinking about teaching our kids God's word as they grow older, I mean, just building into those devotions and that God time and conversations on the way to a practice and apologetic for why we believe what we believe. I think that's becoming increasingly important
00:28:21
Speaker
in the culture that we're living in. It's not enough just to teach our kids what we believe. As they get older, we have to help them understand why we believe what we believe and help them have an apologetic for why we believe that Jesus is who He claimed to be. And so I would just add that. And there's some great resources that are available today by different authors that help teens wrestle through questions of faith. And we just look at the statistics of Christian students that are growing up and going off to college and
00:28:51
Speaker
they're being destroyed in their faith. And these are great Christian kids who love the Lord maybe in high school, but they're walking away from their faith. And so it's such a challenge, I think, for us as parents to remember it's not enough for us just to teach them. We have to teach them why we believe what we believe.
Discipline as Training in Parenting
00:29:07
Speaker
And that's really important as kids get older, especially. Yeah, and I can hear that because this would be me. Well, what should I, you know, what resources, right? Because I can't teach them that. So we'll make sure that we put a link to some great resources in our show notes.
00:29:20
Speaker
Absolutely. And I would add just a couple more. I'm trained, don't punish. As we think about building a Christian home and Christian family, it's so easy as a parent because you're tired and you're sleep deprived. Your whole focus sometimes can be on punishing for wrongdoing. And yet the scriptures give us the model of not so much punishing, but training or correcting, and that's very different.
00:29:44
Speaker
Yeah. And so as we think about discipling our kids, informing faith in our kids, we want to have the perspective that it's much more about training and correcting, more so than it is just about punishing wrongdoing. I think Hebrews chapter 12 is a great example of that. If you want to read that passage. Yeah, how come you asked me to read it? Well, you better eyesight than I do. I'm getting old, honey.
00:30:06
Speaker
Okay, I just wanted you to share why you asked me to read it, probably because I know that you need a large print, or is this a large print? I think that might be a large print. I know, now that I'm aged, I'm realizing why my parents loved large print Bibles. I think you might need extra large print. I don't know.
00:30:24
Speaker
Okay, anyways, so Hebrews chapter 12 verses seven through 11 says endure hardship as discipline. God is treating you as his children for what children are not disciplined by their father. If you are not disciplined and everyone undergoes discipline, then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the father of spirits and live?
00:30:53
Speaker
They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
00:31:13
Speaker
We could spend a whole episode on this theme, and maybe we will at some point, not that we're, again, experts on discipline, but we are living in a culture right now.
00:31:24
Speaker
where parents are afraid to discipline their kids. They're afraid to correct them, where a lot of times kids are running the show. We've seen that in a variety of ways. And so I think it's so important for us to remember as a Christian mom or dad that God has placed us in a position of authority and the scriptures call children to obey their parents. And that doesn't mean that a parent is like this dictator that is cruel and harsh. It's not that at all.
00:31:52
Speaker
But it is a parent that understands their unique role, that they have a spiritual authority to raise kids, to guide them, to teach them, and to correct them or train them. And this is really what Hebrews 12 was talking about, that discipline is hard. When you love your child, it's difficult sometimes to discipline them, to correct them.
00:32:13
Speaker
But we ought to be thinking much more along the lines of a parent that is training and correcting and lovingly guiding and not just dishing out punishment and penalizing for bad behavior. I don't know if you remember, honey, but you wrote a whole article because I know discipline, when we even bring this up, you might be thinking or as you're listening, like, well, what do they mean and what do they really do?
00:32:38
Speaker
And you wrote a whole article on discipline. It's on For the Family. Do you remember that? I do. And I think of all the blog posts that I've ever written, that one probably received the most sort of commentary. We'll call it that. Oh, no. I think people were really, it was a relief and people were all, they were very excited about it. We'll make sure that we put the link in the show notes for the listeners.
00:33:03
Speaker
But I think
Parents' Role in Shaping Faith
00:33:04
Speaker
lastly, again, we could go on with that, just the importance of really training coach, because again, you're preparing your son or your daughter for success in life, to live the flourishing life, the abundant life that God has called them into, that He's created them to experience.
00:33:19
Speaker
And so a parent that doesn't discipline is really a parent that's not loving their child. And so we want to be a parent that is serious about discipline, but seeing it not so much as punishment, but more so as training so that that child learns from those mistakes, learns from that sinful behavior, and they are growing in godliness so that they're experiencing the good life that God has for them. And lastly, this is by far the most important
00:33:42
Speaker
I wrote my entire dissertation on faith in the family. And by and large, the number one contributor to a child growing up and leaving a home and walking with Jesus is the role of a parent, whether or not they themselves have a vibrant walk with Jesus. And so that would be the last thing. If we want to build a Christian home,
00:34:01
Speaker
It really requires you and I as parents, as a grandparent, as a mom, whatever your situation is, walking with the Lord and living out that faith, that vibrant faith in front of your kids or your grandkids. That is the number one reason with God's help, of course, that kids grow up to follow Jesus when they leave
Fighting for Family and Faith
00:34:19
Speaker
our homes.
00:34:19
Speaker
Yeah, they're watching us. And I think that again, never looks perfect. It looks real, you know, and I think that that's really, really important to remember. Well, you guys, we could literally talk about this all day. We have so much that we could talk about. And I just really hope.
00:34:35
Speaker
that this has been helpful to you. I know we have shared a lot of different resources. We will make sure that all of those resources and even that article I mentioned, that that's all listed in the show notes for you. This really is a paradigm shift. I think this isn't what our culture talks about with family. And I think it's really, really important because we need to fight for the family.
00:34:58
Speaker
God has a purpose for our families and we cannot forget that. So let's keep talking about this. We can be different. We can be different than the culture. We can fight for the family and we can raise kids who love God in our light to the world. And if you're ready right now, you're like, okay, let's do this.
00:35:18
Speaker
Um, if you want to start leading your family towards a deeper faith, I think I mentioned this last week. We have a family devotional that we, that is, it's a great place to start. We wrote this devotional called faith forward. I'm going to go ahead and just read you the back cover copy of the devotional.
00:35:37
Speaker
Raise faith-filled kids who know, love, and live for God. You've passed down to your kids your last name, your love, and maybe even your habits, but have you passed down the most important thing, your faith. Somewhere between diapers and sippy cups, piano lessons, and soccer practice, dating, and college searches, even the most well-intentioned family can lose sight of what matters most. As parents of four, Patrick and Ruth Schwank, well, that's us, honey.
00:36:05
Speaker
Understand the challenges and the joys of raising faith-filled kids. In Faith Forward Family Devotional, Patrick and Ruth help you pass on your faith with 100 devotions for families that you can do together at your own pace. Each devotion includes a Bible passage from Genesis to Revelation,
00:36:23
Speaker
Teaching you can read aloud that's applicable for kids of any age, a key idea to learn and remember about God, relatable questions to spark family discussion, and a guided prayer to pray together as a family. Faith Forward Family Devotional will help you grow closer to your kids as they grow closer to God. Whatever season of parenting you are in, journeying through the entire Bible and sharing this devotional time together will help your children nourish a faith
00:36:51
Speaker
that lasts a lifetime. So again, I'll be sure to put all of those links in the show notes, especially to Faith Board here, but also to every other resource we mentioned. You can find those show notes at rootlikefaith.com forward slash podcast. So also, you guys, be sure that you follow us over on Instagram at Patrick W. Schwank and at Ruth Schwank. We really want to get to know you, and that's where you can connect with us.
00:37:20
Speaker
And as if we don't say it enough already, we are thrilled you are joining us. We welcome you into our family here at Root Like Faith. Would you do us a big favor if you have a minute? We'd be so grateful if you could leave a review or rating and share this podcast with your friends. It just takes a second. It is a huge help to us as we spread the word about Root Like Faith. We're so grateful for you. We're grateful for your help in getting the word out. All right, friend. Well, we will chat soon. I hope you have a great week.