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Ep. 276 – Want a “Biblical” Divorce? Call the Honeypot Hotshots at Covenant Catfishing!
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This week we have a variety of stories for you! We’ll start off on Reddit with a man asking why a loving God would create him with mental health issues, after which he’s scolded repeatedly by “tough love” Church guys. Next we’ll talk about a man who leaned heavily on AI chatbots to make one of the most important decisions in his life. Then we’re examining a couple of businesses with particularly interesting ways of incorporating Christ into their grift: Nava Realty Group, a custom home builder out of Texas, and Grooveberries Frozen Yogurt in Coeur d’Alene, ID. This one was a lot of fun, and we hope you enjoy it!
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Transcript
Introduction & Personal Struggles
00:00:00
Speaker
I cannot begin to describe how torturous it was to leave behind 20 plus years of porn and masturbation. The demons that tormented me with sex dreams and intimidation tactics leading up to face to face encounter with three of them. This guy got hit by six. He duked it out Constantine style. Did he have to get up like a blessed shotgun? Yeah.
00:00:24
Speaker
just buck naked fighting off three, uh, sex demons, three, uh, sleep paralysis demons that were trying to have their way with them. He's splashing cold water on his penis going, the power of Christ compels you. if christ compels you That used to be the only way he could get up.
Wedding Preparations & Humorous Anecdotes
00:01:04
Speaker
are back with another episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Sam. And I'm Casey. Ooh, going for the sexy radio voice this time. I try to mix it up. You don't really. It's nice that you're trying now.
00:01:17
Speaker
I don't know if you think you've been. You you don't, but that's fine. It's one of those, it's kind of like when people ask you, like, what do you diet and exercise? You're like, I watch what I eat.
00:01:28
Speaker
Oh, my God. beingly Mostly this morning. I watch it enter my mouth and feel it go into my stomach. i I got fitted for a suit um this past week because I'm going to be in a wedding. The worst. Yeah, it's never.
00:01:47
Speaker
and it's funny. Okay. I'm hoping no one in the family hears this because this is mostly in jest. And I don't want to describe any actual like.
00:01:58
Speaker
What I'm going to say isn't reflective of my actual thoughts. I feel like I need that preface so I don't damage family relationships anymore than I already have. um No, but it was, um it's just one of those like, you know, his his fiance has a good amount of people in her wedding party. She's one of those weirdos that's like 30 with a lot of friends. I don't know how those people still exist, ah but...
00:02:22
Speaker
it and then they all are in it like how are you all this close i think it's wild um she established a a friend hierarchy i don't i don't know all in their place and they're all around the same age getting married so like every other week it's like she's traveling for a bride's uh like a bachelorette party or something like that which that shit okay bachelorette all that shit's getting off the rails bachelorette bachelor it's getting nuts what happened to just going out and getting blackout drunk with your friends and finding a safe place to contain yourself for the night. Like, you know, it's now it's like you you being in a wedding isn't cheap. And they they go, how does a $1,000 weekend in Vegas sound? And you're like, terrible. I don't want to do that. And
00:03:07
Speaker
Honestly, my my brother-in-law... It's my brother-in-law's wedding, so whatever. um His sounded fine. like But him and his friends, there I couldn't make it anyway. um So it is what it is. um But theirs is just... They're going like...
00:03:21
Speaker
a couple hours away, uh, staying at a place and like doing like a golf weekend and they all golf and they all love it. And I've never golfed in my life. So I'm like, if I went, I would have just driven a cart around and drank beers. You know, I wouldn't probably have, I probably wouldn't have really golfed. Maybe I i wouldn't have clubs. to I would, i don't know. Maybe I'd give it a shot, but yeah so then you, it's like funny for like a few holes being really bad. And then everyone's like, get to get this fucking guy out of the way. No one wants to be stuck behind the guy looking for the ball forever. So,
00:03:51
Speaker
I would have just gone and had a good time. um and it would have been fine. So that's, that's fine. But so many of them now are just like, you have to take a flight somewhere, which is an easy $400 round trip at this point. And then if not more, I don't know. It's people who get wild about, but anyway, um, yeah, No, but there was just a lot of there's just a lot of people in it. So it's like, you know, it's like his brothers, his friends.
00:04:13
Speaker
And then it's just like, you need you you need one more. It's like, oh, well, we'll have Sam. And I'm like, I mean, that's I appreciate it like But you don't have to. And I don't really. No, but I'm glad you think of me as ah your you're like, I'm glad I'm ninth string. It's nice to be somebody's ninth string.
00:04:32
Speaker
ah know but It is a perfect opportunity to ah to really like ah psychologically and financially torture your friend group. Because you can be like, yeah, you know, ah here's the published order in which I asked you guys to be in my wedding. Now, ah I want you to line up from, from, uh, the most in shape to the least in shape. That's how we're going to stand. There you go.
00:04:58
Speaker
Um, and then also like, I don't, it's there. It's like brothers, cousins, like old friends. i know some of the, I probably know some of the guys, um, I don't remember who's all in it, but all nice people. um it'll be like It'll be fun, but I'm like, I don't... i would I'm the odd person out. like They all have like this established group, so I'm also like... you know if i If I was able to make it, it's like... I don't know. I'm bad at that now. I don't i don't adjust very quickly to like being an outsider like that. i It just gets harder as you get older, you know? I mean, I guess if I was drinking enough, it would probably equal the playing field, but...
00:05:36
Speaker
um But anyway, I would if they haze you, they could, they could just say, my bottom raw. Yeah, just pink belly, like full metal jacket. They make me stand naked in front of a golf tee and just launch like wiffle balls into me.
00:05:54
Speaker
um That'd be actually kind of funny. I wouldn't. I would pretend to have a problem with it, but it would, you know, it's hazings wrongs, guys. Hazings wrongs. Don't do it.
00:06:04
Speaker
I don't know i keep adding an S to wrong. I did that couple of times in a row. ah I, but I got fitted for the suit going back to um watching what you eat and I'm like in between sizes. Right. um So it's like, and for me it's annoying because when you're doing rental stuff, like everything is, I mean, last time I rented a ah suit, it's like,
00:06:26
Speaker
I felt like I was swimming in it. I'm like, it feels like you're like 12 years old and your parents bought you an off the rack suit for your like school recital, you know, and you're paying good money for that shit. So you don't really, it's like, it sucks to spend money on something where you don't feel good. And you know what stupid men's warehouse guarantees that you'll like the way you look. And I never have. So they're full of shit. No, never once liked the way I looked in a suit. No, ah but I, so the pant sizes I'm in between. So the first one I try on a little tight around the waist, but I'm like, wow, this is the first pair of pants I've ever tried on here that I think looks good from like the thighs down. Like, I'm like, oh, I look in the mirror. I'm like, this is it. This looks good. I could feel good in this that night, but it's a little tight. So I might be a little uncomfortable.
00:07:11
Speaker
I would, for one night, I would choose, I would choose slight discomfort in style, uh, with given the pictures and stuff like that. That's just me. Um, and same with the shirts. I'm like the first one, like all the buttons, you know, when you like wear a button up shirt and they're all like stretching out and you look ridiculous.
00:07:28
Speaker
Like, even if you're like, I'm not a big, a really big dude by any means, but like, um, even if you're not a big dude, if you're stretching out the buttons in your shirt, you look like an idiot. So I'm like, all right, we'll size up on that. Anyway, just the guy, the tailor is like, are you sure? Like you might be uncomfortable. Maybe like if you sit for a long time, I'm like, which, cause you know, if it's a little tight in the waist and then you sit and your rolls fold over, then it's worse. Um, So I'm like practicing sitting on the bench, standing up, sitting down, standing up, sitting down. And I was like, you know what? I'll go with it. I don't care. And he's like, are you sure? Like he felt like he was trying to talk me out of it. I'm like, you're just here to take measurements and shut the fuck up. Don't make me feel bad about my choices. um
00:08:12
Speaker
This is retail, motherfucker. You don't get to tell me anything. Yeah. So when I'm what I care, apparently it was still on his mind because when um I'm squaring up at the end, he's like, so, you know, the, the, the wedding's in ah like late August. So you get some time when this comes in, if there's any alterations you need, it's enough time to get the last minute ones in or whatever.
00:08:38
Speaker
And he's like, you got any like big things coming up, like events, parties, things like that. And I'm like, what is like? He's like birthdays. And I'm like, is there a birthday discount? Like, what are we asking? I was like, I, yeah, i guess my birthday is in a couple days. He's like, oh, cool. Happy birthday. And I'm like, what are we doing? don't, don't, this is uncomfortable for me. I didn't, I'm not a birthday alert guy. I don't tell people it's my birthday. Like I'm,
00:09:05
Speaker
you know 16 or a 30 year old white woman it's a strange way to make small talk it was he just making small talk no it turns out he was trying to figure out how many parties i was going to attend and how much i might excessively eat and drink so if i got fatter we could we could actually size it back up a little bit just in time for the wedding and Are you serious? I'm dead fucking serious, dude. is He's like, yeah, some people put on a couple extra pounds, you know, and then so if, you know, if that happens and you need to adjust the size, you know, we'll have time for that. i was like, my goal is to lose like five pounds just because i don't even have to try. Like I get every, I swear every winter I just gained five pounds and then every summer
Experiences at the Gun Shop & Social Commentary
00:09:45
Speaker
I lose it. Now my like overall average has gone up. So it used to be like I'm one 55 in the winter, one 50 in the summer back in college. Um,
00:09:53
Speaker
And then it's just like, and then eventually you're like 160 in the winter, 155 in the summer. And it goes up every year, but I'm getting size now. i i I'll be fine, dude. Ask me about how many hot dogs I'm about to eat between now in the wedding.
00:10:09
Speaker
feel like, you know what? You should transfer over to David's bridle and try this trick. Yeah, that goes for you. dummy but ah It was funny. I love that when somebody has like no instincts about like what is appropriate or or beneficial to them to talk about in like a sales scenario, you know? Yeah. like I've probably told this story before, but like Remember, we went into a gun shop in Wichita and everybody who works in a gun shop is a total douchebag. Yeah, it seems hard. Almost always. Yeah.
00:10:47
Speaker
it's It's just like the most annoying guy that, you know, like the guy that wasn't in the military, but like. knows he would have made the cut it for like special forces or whatever. if He really wanted to. He had like him and his boys loved airsoft when they were 16 and they never grew out of it.
00:11:02
Speaker
Yeah. that Phase like that mentality. That's just, they're still living that. It's like a very, ah it's just a, I think it's an uncomfortable environment anyways for women because they just act weird around them.
00:11:16
Speaker
Like, I sometimes feel I sometimes feel out of place in there because of how those people act and that like it would be way worse. So um' I'm in there with April and this like dopey kid who's worked there like two days comes walking up and he's like, Hey guys, welcome in. You been here before? And I was like, yeah, I have. she's she's She's never been here before. i mean, it's just it's just a gun shop with like a shooting range. you know Yeah. and What does being here before matter?
00:11:45
Speaker
Yeah, and he's like, okay, okay. Well, well just so you know, So these guns up here, these are for sale. and And those guns, those are for rent. You can rent those if you want to go into the shooting range and try something out, you know. And then we have some used stuff in the in the back of the shop. We're like, OK. Yeah, like like it says on the signs. Thank you. You can't buy a gun and then use it at the shooting range?
00:12:11
Speaker
Yeah, you can. It's just they usually have like rental ones where you can like try out different models and figure out what you like. Yeah, because if you have buyer's remorse, you can't return it after you fire it. It changes everything. I imagine like there's probably not a great return policy
Podcast Variety Show & Political Satire
00:12:25
Speaker
on guns. I've never tried before. I didn't think it mattered as long as you hadn't like maybe killed somebody with it yet and sawed off the serial number. I thought that was the only problem, but don't know. I don't know. Maybe. But anyways, I'm like, OK, thank you.
00:12:38
Speaker
We're just looking. Thank you. And he's like, all right. And he looks at April. He goes, I just wanted you to kind of have a lay of the land here, you know, so you're not just kind of walking around going like, oh, oh, that that one's pretty.
00:12:49
Speaker
OK, we'll just look at him like, what is your deal? Like, and he's just some dopey like redneck kid that's worked there. I mean, he's literally worked there for like a week and he's he's doing this routine. I think he's just like awkward, but it was like such an abrasive thing to say. and you're like, I mean,
00:13:06
Speaker
People get weird about like women in those situations that kind of want to be like, like, I bet you she's hunted 30 times more than you have. Like, yeah she's completely like, so you know, skinned and dressed like multiple deer. Like, she's a much more accomplished like outdoorsman than you are. She doesn't need your help.
00:13:28
Speaker
When you walk in, you need to immediately hold up $20 and be like, do you see this? Regardless of any purchases I make, this is yours if you can manage to not say something sexist in the first 30 seconds.
00:13:39
Speaker
And they'd be like, oh, yeah. And then they'd immediately be like, say something stupid. And you'd just start to crumple it right in front of it. I'm not even going to use a seltzer. I'm just going to tear it up.
00:13:51
Speaker
I just don't want you to have it. Tear it up into confetti in the time that you use trying to tape it back together is time that we can shop in peace. Exactly.
00:14:05
Speaker
ah Well, fine so we have a number. This is a variety show tonight. Yes. That's kind of the show. It's been the fun format lately. This is like I feel like this is as close as we've ever gotten to having like segments. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but before we get into the variety, I just had a couple of quick things and thoughts about our current political climate.
00:14:25
Speaker
um And it's going to be rapid fire but because these are, you know, I know how we can be long winded on this stuff. But I'm not I'm paying less attention these days and just kind of like ingesting, you know, headlines, learning a little bit, moving on. But mostly just I see something that I think is kind of funny and I and I just I don't I'm trying to get less heated and just enjoy the moment. Yeah.
00:14:52
Speaker
be more zen about the the political information i take it so uh i gotta do my platner update because the smear campaign continues um and i've been having this problem ah problem it's self-inflicted uh keep getting like conservative media uh facebook pages like showing me things constantly because i i clicked on some like an idiot um And so it's just every time I'm on, like I try to scroll Facebook, it's just like Fox News, whatever. A lot from Maine that are conservative leaning.
00:15:28
Speaker
So I'm getting that that that spin side of it constantly. Granted, the you know, means any other media outlet hasn't been particularly kind to Plattner either. But the new slam on him is um it's like, oh, my God, you wouldn't believe it. Grant Plattner admitted out loud.
00:15:46
Speaker
that in his early 20s, he used to go to a planned parenthood and get tested for STIs. And even on like Fox News, the comments are like, I'm not exactly sure what the problem is here. like that's a good That's a good thing. That's like most of the comments are like, this is a good thing. And I think it's...
00:16:05
Speaker
Like the the way they're reaching now to make him sound like some sex, like, oh, he's like a sexual degenerate. He was just he has sex so much that he has to go to evil planned parenthood and get tested. it's like, I hate to break it to you, but like I know I know the big story here is that he's probably having sex with adult women who are of legal age. And most of the people that they like to talk about are fucking children. So that's.
00:16:28
Speaker
Yeah. You know, a little different. but yeah He said as much in that. I mean, I'm sure you saw that interview clip where that lady's like, do you think that your history will make it hard for you to question our leaders about things like Jeffrey Epstein? And he's like, well, considering I had sex with adult women consensually.
00:16:50
Speaker
No, I don't think so. And I don't think he, I, as far as I know, it hasn't come out that he was having sex with anybody. He was just, he was not just like, i that's still a violation of, you know, what most people would consider appropriate within a marriage. Having sex with a woman.
00:17:09
Speaker
yeah Yeah, no, he wasn't. He was just he was like sexting and sending pictures with people back and forth, which is not good. Easier to recover from than like meeting up with people and having sex with a bunch of people. I feel like. Yeah, I mean, but if it's something that you're I don't know, the whole thing's just stupid. it It's him and his wife have already dealt with it like it's their business. They've dealt with it. She's the one that brought it up. But It as a you know a protection to try to be like, this could be a problem. Should we talk about it? And they're like, no, instead, we're going to keep it a secret, quit and then leak it later. Matt Gaetz is concerned about his moral fiber, you know, yeah matt gates did the right thing and just bought underage sex workers or whatever.
00:17:55
Speaker
Yeah. ah ah So and the other one, i just think we need to know, like, because, you know, we've talked about the struggle with the United States has been having in this involvement with Iran.
00:18:08
Speaker
i just think we should note that we've officially lost to the war and where we're that We're there. I mean, it's over. like And it was I was thinking this week about all the like the shirts.
00:18:21
Speaker
You know all those like shirts people wear? We're like, United States military undefeated since, ah you know, 1776. In two world wars. Yeah.
00:18:30
Speaker
And like, I feel like I need to make shirts now that say like United States military undefeated 1776 dash 2026. And then like a parentheses underneath. It's just like, but we're not including the Vietnam war because I don't know how people really feel about that. And maybe we definitely technically lost it, but like,
00:18:51
Speaker
I mean, i don't think we've won a military conflict in our lifetime, except for maybe Desert Storm. But we didn't really win. We just like came in, blew up stuff, killed a bunch of people and then let Saddam declared victory. Take take back the ah throne or whatever. Yeah. But this is the first time we're officially signing like, a you know, what do you call it? Like a retreat, like retreat.
00:19:18
Speaker
a surrender document. You know what i mean? This is like, yeah we're like working on an official surrender document at this point. I mean, we're not because whatever this memorandum is, we're going to, we're going to blow that up.
00:19:30
Speaker
Um, no pun intended. um Yeah, we. i Why do I say that? We in the turd in our pocket. yeah um And then lastly, the funniest thing that's happening right now in our country is um this the reflecting pool debacle and Trump trying to continuously blame it on some vandals that supposedly cut the lining with some box cutters or some shit like that. I don't know what he's trying to sell at this point. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:59
Speaker
It's just it's so goofy. I mean, we we look like ah between the the UFC fight on the White House lawn looking like just insanity. What a ridiculous event.
00:20:11
Speaker
And then it looking like they also hosted the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards in the reflecting pool is so nuts. Yeah, it's a it's really stupid. And I feel like ah the funniest thing about the reflecting pool debacle is the guy that he has no bid contract. The guy looks like a like a Rocky and Bullwinkle villain.
00:20:35
Speaker
and He does. he like He's like this plump dude that's it's pulling ah pulling at the buttons of his suit coat and ah with a cigar in his mouth and a fedora, like with his hand around some like, you know, it'll be like pictures of him with his like arms around like these skinny blonde women. Like he's he's a cartoon character. He looks like like he was straight. He looks like a mob boss out of like the Spawn comics.
00:21:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. If it was like an early, an early Disney Channel original movie, he would be like a land developer that was trying to shut down the summer camp so he could build condos or something like that.
00:21:12
Speaker
Yeah. Or someone who like tries to kidnap dogs so we can like sell their pelts or something. Yeah, I mean, he's a he's a poor or fuck. He's he's not making a trench coat like Cruella de Vil. Like he's definitely using him for me.
00:21:29
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. He's like he's like the guy that owns like the the county's most important sausage factory. And he's like actually pumping dog meat into the pig intestines.
00:21:43
Speaker
yeah It's cartoon. It's so goofy. Anyway, that's it. Rapid fire. We don't get to dwell on it. ah those those of Those current events are... um They're actually bringing me some joy. Like, as insane as the Reflecting Pool stuff is and how, like...
00:22:02
Speaker
Much of like just a dark spot it is on our country. Like we look ridiculous and like Trump crashing out over it every like three hours on the world stage. You know, it just, it's an embarrassment. We should be embarrassed, but instead I choose to laugh.
00:22:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It is funny, too, because like he can turn even even ah something that like i feel like you could rally like general support for under any other circumstances, like like cleaning up all of that area and like downtown D.C. around the Capitol buildings. Like I will say every time I've ever been down there, I've thought, wow, this is a dump.
00:22:40
Speaker
Like it's dirty. It's gross. The reflecting pool stinks like there's garbage everywhere. The lawn's covered in like big bald spots, you know, because of how much foot traffic and stuff goes over it. Like in public urination.
00:22:53
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, if you just were going to clean it, like I will support almost any initiative to clean things up. I always say, yes, dude, if somebody want to buy vote locally here.
00:23:05
Speaker
whether it's like the mayor of my little town or like the mayor of Wichita or whoever, if they just said like, Hey, we're going to hire like three guys full time to just go to different areas of the city and like pick up garbage and clean it up. You have my vote. I don't care about anything else that you're doing. I'm all for it. I'll vote for it. And you can raise my taxes if you need to, to pay for it. I'll pay for it. Like that would be fine. But even something as, as easily sellable as that,
00:23:33
Speaker
I mean, he can't rally any like bipartisan support for it. And he has to mobilize his grifters to defend his like botched reflecting pool job. And that I think what's particularly funny is like, look, I mean, he spent what, 20, 30 million. It's something insanely stupid. I don't, I could be just making those numbers up, but it was a lot.
00:23:55
Speaker
And I saw like, ah again, cause I get the conservative like things now. It's like, ah like they're doing like this fact check. It's like, it wasn't 30 million. It was this much. And you're like that's still a lot of million. Why are That's not, that's not good. um And even still like that, some of that includes the cost of repairs and what they've had to do since. But either way, look, if he had paid for it and it would, because of how quickly the news cycle moves, especially around him, because he's,
00:24:28
Speaker
I mean, it's nonstop that he's doing something disgustingly stupid. ah And they go, they talk about it for like two seconds and they have to move on to the next thing. And there would be a next thing. If the next thing wasn't that it immediately backfired and looked like shit.
00:24:42
Speaker
Like if, if today the reflecting pool looked gorgeous and perfect, And then it still did next week. like Like that, people would have just been like, hey, you know what? He did something all right. It looks fine. Like people would have moved on from the the financial part of it to a degree. Like maybe not people like us and like, you know, the left, but like CNN, NBC, CBS, they would have been over it. Now it's like he dude can't buy a mask. If wasted that much money and did it right, that would have been...
00:25:14
Speaker
that would have been meaningful. That would have like to enough people where we, they would have allowed themselves to forget about that. Like they did about you being convicted of sexual assault
Mental Health & Reddit Insights
00:25:24
Speaker
in the civil suit. But you know, are we certain that he didn't just like soak his swollen ankles in the reflecting pool? It's just septic. Yeah, dude.
00:25:36
Speaker
His, his ankles look like those, uh, those decorative gourds that they sell in the fall at the grocery store. Yeah, it's weird, pale and lumpy.
00:25:47
Speaker
It looks like he's wearing like skin toned, whatever those bra like those ah braces are that you put on when you sprain your ankle. It's just like and you see people wear them it's like sticking out of their shoes. It's like a skin tone version of that at this point. Yeah, but you could you could be convinced that he's wearing a prosthetic a prosthetic leg made of pudding.
00:26:09
Speaker
It's like he started auditioning for Clayface in the next Batman movie and forgot to take the makeup off his ankles.
00:26:20
Speaker
Oh, man. He's so stupid, dude. hate him. I hate him. I hate Israel so much. I hate hate the state of Israel so much. All right. All right. but Let's not go down this any further. You brought up Israel. but Don't kill us now. I brought up Sam's handlers. He wants to move on. All right, Rogan. We don't have to talk about the Israelis.
00:26:47
Speaker
I feel for my life. I feel for my children's safety. We got to get me off these antidepressants. Fun fact, mine have been sitting in a bottle for six months because I never took the first dose.
00:27:00
Speaker
ah okay Okay. Well, now you got to catch up. You got to take all of them at once. ah All right. We can move on to some other stuff.
00:27:14
Speaker
Okay. Okay. All right. So we've got, like I said, we got a variety of of different things that we wanted to touch on tonight. Did find a couple of Reddit posts, which I I thought were worth mentioning. This one, a sad post, but a title that immediate it's it. I got a notification of the post.
00:27:37
Speaker
And I got to say, I had to click on it immediately. So hats off to this guy for making a sad post, but with a very catchy title. It says... It's a good emo song. If God loves me, why did he make me retarded?
00:27:52
Speaker
Of course. It's a really sad There's absolutely not a single not a single alternate reality where any version of you would not have clicked on that no du dot a one that The alternate reality with the wokest Casey imaginable still would have clicked on that.
00:28:25
Speaker
You think I should chide him for using that word? You should. So he says, ah though I'm technically I'm not technically retarded. Many people in my area, which is heavily Christian, believe that autism is equivalent to mental retardation. I am a burden and a drain of resources no matter what I do. i have no friends. Whoa.
00:28:46
Speaker
And everyone seems to be afraid of me, including my other neuro neurodivergent people. I'll probably never be able to get a proper job because of this. I don't know why God did this. If he loves me, which he can, he can put together a decent enough Reddit post. i don't know. What's the problem? That's kind of what I thought too, is like, is this a, is this bait?
00:29:06
Speaker
Is he a rage baiting people? Maybe. i mean, there's probably, you know, he's probably got some struggles, I would imagine. But yeah, he does type very well. And somebody I think in here has like like 100 credit karma or whatever. So he clearly is like interacting online and stuff.
00:29:27
Speaker
He just needs a remote job. Get a remote job. Just editing. but There we go You're you're an ah you're at work from home editor. Perfect. I think what I solved his problem. I don't, I mean, yeah, and not all of them, but you know, at least one, but they're afraid. People are afraid of that unless he's the, unless he's the kind of person ah who just like acts so much on impulse and is constantly horny that he's doing wildly inappropriate things like, like just Lou, Louis C. Kang people left and right. Like,
00:30:01
Speaker
I don't, it's hard to imagine people think he's a monster. This is, um, yeah, like give us examples. Give us examples. Talk like he's aware enough to write it.
00:30:13
Speaker
So talk like, talk about your behavior and how it's impacting your life. I need more information, uh, before I make fun of this person. I can't, what am I supposed to say?
00:30:23
Speaker
no no, no, no. I, I think, you know, clearly this is somebody going through some stuff, You know, maybe he's overstating it a little bit. Who knows? But I do think one of the things that's very funny about, I mean, this is really just people in general. It's kind of, it's it's not, it's disingenuous to like pick it pick out Christians in particular for it. But there is a particular tendency within Christianity because it has so many like sacred cows that like anything like this, it all, it turns into like, it's just about them.
00:30:59
Speaker
Like at the end of the day, they're all their response to this post and stuff ends up being about them. It's like, I have to offend my idea. What you said is offensive to me because it undermines my idea of what God does and how he yeah you know behaves and stuff. So I have to give you advice. But really, I'm i'm standing up for my interpretation of God because you have besmirched him.
00:31:25
Speaker
Absolutely. that That is so much of what you see. dade were Were any of the commenters people with autism? um I think there's some. There's actually quite a few comments, but a lot of them are kind of like this.
00:31:37
Speaker
ah Don't fall into this trap of I'm a victim of God, the universe slash circumstance. It leads nowhere good at all. You were dealt a rough hand. That sucks. You were down there. That's part of the problem we're dealing with right now, right?
00:31:53
Speaker
please Play it as best you can and don't moan about your poor cards. Avoid considering yourself a victim and never define yourself by your weaknesses. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
00:32:05
Speaker
Boy, that's harsh for somebody you don't know who's clearly like ah experiencing some anguish. Yeah. you know This one's a an interesting subject just for me because of all the kids I work with ah who do have autism.
00:32:21
Speaker
And it's like, I mean, for one, it's just like the spectrum isn't like people look like when you talk about a spectrum, people think like, Left to right. Like, least autistic to most autistic. But, it's I mean, it's not. It's more like a circle.
00:32:37
Speaker
And it's like, you could be anywhere. Or it's more like a, you know, a sphere. And you could be anywhere within that sphere. And it's like, it's not going to Like, even extreme forms of it, like autism level 3, will look much different amongst people with autism 3. So, like... Sure.
00:32:56
Speaker
I don't know. This one's just like... i what he here's, ah here's what I don't think he recognizes. Like when you're talking about people in your church, I i think it is a, i think there's a good, I would like to do a, a broad study on this. Cause I think there's a really good arguing to make that a lot of people in that the, that there is a higher number of people with autism in church than anywhere else in the world. Like one of the commenters says, uh, he goes, ah Like those guys who love theology.
00:33:28
Speaker
I'm going to bet that most of those most of the theologians throughout history were autistic too You're in good company. like exactly what you said in in like i dude i knew so many peculiar men who um they because in church you can define yourself by your by your quote-unquote character and not even that you know what character is almost irrelevant as long as you're just living a normal american life um But like it's defined by your your grandstanding for morality and doctrine, theology, things like that. So like, you know, the guy, what the someone who like I could think of a handful of people ah at my church and it's just like you are really strange when it comes like you're not good at talking to people.
00:34:21
Speaker
Um, you're, it's very peculiar. You kind of say what you're thinking and those people kind of do okay in some of those settings, because if you gear yours and orient yourself towards theology, like that they've church values, that type of costly signaling. So like,
00:34:38
Speaker
If they find an opportunity, like, so if, for example, if I was in in a conversation with somebody and they're saying some stuff off the rails or that's not in line with like the church dogma, I would be like, huh? Hmm.
00:34:51
Speaker
And I'm not, I wouldn't be comfortable enough just like being like, just spearheading that, you know, you would just be a regular person in a conversation with someone you disagree with. Uh, church really likes people who'd be like, well, hold on there, buddy.
00:35:05
Speaker
I don't know. i think that... And then they just kind of give you the business without worrying about the social cost because out in the real world, there is a social cost to that, ah but not in church. like That's actually like a credibility-enhancing display.
00:35:21
Speaker
And so I feel like... And this is all just me just off the... I'm just theorizing here. I'm hypothesizing. i just feel like If I'm thinking about it, I feel like...
00:35:31
Speaker
People who lack certain social finesse are actually capable of being fairly successful in a church community. And I'm off my soapbox. That's it. You should be a youth leader.
00:35:44
Speaker
yeah i i If I didn't shift to my – see, my the the career I took had a very clear path. towards a contracted salary where I could bank on a retirement. But if I was going to pick something that I just wanted to do when I was rethinking my career, I was have, I was really gravitating towards like sociology because this kind of shit is so like fascinating to me, especially in relation to like church sociology. That would have been such a fun thing to study.
00:36:15
Speaker
I don't know. There's no money in that. It would be interesting, but I think it's like it's interesting for 30 minutes. For you. I, however, still feel the need to invest myself in thinking about it after 38 years. I'm going to watch a fat guy fall down. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:37
Speaker
ah Oh, here's another cool guy. He says, I think it is wrong to say stuff like that. God makes no mistakes. Seek him and he will enlighten you about your purpose. P.S. God never regards us as the world does. I would stop calling anyone retarded, too. It is very derogatory term. We all have some cards we have been dealt that do not look like nothing until step away from home and realize we good.
00:37:04
Speaker
We good. I pray for changing your heart posture and clarification about your concerns too. May the Holy Spirit speak life into you today and shed some truth to some falsehoods you have believed about yourself.
00:37:17
Speaker
i it It was funny like when they decided to churn out the tough love because it's always in situations like this where it's like, hang on a second. Don't talk that way about my ideas.
00:37:29
Speaker
Yes. You know, like it's protection. It is. it's There's just so much of that in here. It's a lot of, of that. And a lot of card metaphors, apparently lots of cards. It's also funny to be like, don't just play the hand you're dealt kind of shit is like, I guess, or cheat, you know, in cards you can cheat. And I don't, so I don't appreciate the metaphor because it's harder to cheat in the real world.
00:37:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's probably good enough on that one. So best of luck, fella. ah So this one i thought was this is interesting. This ah this is called Strange New Marriage.
00:38:10
Speaker
OK, this one's going in a good direction. Good. Strange. We got it. We got a fella here who is ready to to lead a household. OK, OK. My wife and I aloach. I already feel I'm i'm just okay.
00:38:26
Speaker
It's about a man who's ready to lead a household. Is his complaint that he wants to guess it? I won't. Okay. have a pretty good track record. I just put that in Jess because this guy is a doofus.
00:38:42
Speaker
is he Is he ready to lead, but his wife's not ready to let him? Yeah. Um, he's just like finding every he's inventing new reichs to step on.
00:38:55
Speaker
real Wile E. Coyote type. Yeah. Yeah. My wife and I eloped shortly after knowing each other. And this has happened in less than a year. Perfect. Good start.
00:39:07
Speaker
In the beginning of our relationship, I used ChatGPT to help me decide whether or not I should be with her. Okay, this guy actually has autism. Maybe.
00:39:19
Speaker
Some of the things I wrote about her were shallow. I pointed out some of the things I wasn't sure I liked about her physical appearance, but realized that was being ridiculous to not give such a lovely woman my commitment, and I wanted to marry her.
00:39:33
Speaker
A month or so after, she read what I had wrote and felt more self-conscious about the things she has felt self-conscious about. Yeah, no shit. yeah I mean, how could that have happened? I mean, right?
00:39:46
Speaker
I felt terrible about this, and it only made it worse that sometimes i would glance at other women.
Marital Challenges & Relationship Humor
00:39:52
Speaker
It isn't something I'm proud of, but I've been praying to God and trying to stop glancing because I want to honor God and our marriage.
00:40:00
Speaker
While in the car near our destination recently, there was a couple walking across ah walking across the crosswalk, and I noticed them in my peripheral vision. And I noticed that the guy had a huge package right in his khakis. He tried to catch up with it and then accidentally looked at the woman's butt.
00:40:19
Speaker
but When they got to the other side of the street, I glanced at the lady's butt and my wife called me on out on it and got very upset. I understand why this would upset her. And she expressed that she hates me and wishes she never met me.
00:40:36
Speaker
I feel bad for the woman, but also like, because she's all like, this guy sucks. and She would, i I wish she never met him too. um But that guy aside, you can also tell this woman is harboring these ideas, these ideas exacerbated by his obviously terrible comments that she found. That's going to make things worse. But Again, we've definitely hit on this a million times, but she's living in a world where like she can't fathom that like once a guy gets once anybody, once somebody gets married, that they're not ever going to notice things about other people that are attractive. Like the, and I feel bad for her that she can't, that is equal to hating your partner. That sucks.
00:41:26
Speaker
Well, you want to add a little insult to injury? i I do, because I made it too serious, so I need you to fix it. She's pregnant with our child and says she feels stuck and believes that it's biblical grounds for divorce. She's going to try to honey trap him, dude. That's the next step in this.
00:41:47
Speaker
she's gonna She's going to try to. That's a great business idea. She's going to cable guy. um Dude, what if we started Mossad level honey trap operation where women could hire us to ensnare their husbands in affairs so that they could biblically divorce them and force them to leave their own church?
00:42:06
Speaker
Dude, the best thing about it would be the eventual um the eventual like data hack. And we could be the next Ashley Madison. it's Except it's all women's names. I love this idea. I can't think of a more noble business model.
00:42:22
Speaker
You set me up. Because honestly, it's like you did it, dude. I mean, it's not. You know, a good time to sort this sort of thing out and kind of feel each other out is like in ah over a span of a few years of dating.
00:42:37
Speaker
yeah like Can't do that now because you married each other within a year of meeting each other. Yeah. Thanks for realizing. he Did chat GPT not predict this problem?
00:42:50
Speaker
Before realizing that your spouse hates certain aspects of the way you look. That's crazy. Yeah. Where did he post this? stuff Did he write it in his journal and hide it under his mattress? Where did he write it? I forget. I don't know. It must have been in like his prompt history or something like that.
00:43:08
Speaker
I mean, all of this has happened very quickly. So i I'm assuming that they recently got married or found out they were pregnant, got married, and then boom, she finds like his, ah you know, him filling out a fakeway survey on whether or not he should like ask her to marry him.
00:43:25
Speaker
It would be I'd be surprised if they got pregnant and that's why they got married that I would be surprised. I feel like they got married and immediately got pregnant because they never learned. they ah They're either Catholic and really serious about it or they just trusted God's timing and thought if he didn't pull out within the first week, God would just like bless their honeymoon or something.
00:43:47
Speaker
I've asked us to pray together, and right now any conversation feels extremely difficult, as she believes I've moved her away from God. i'm not I'm just not sure how to stop glancing slash noticing someone's body, and I feel terrible about the situation. I'm not angry, but I am sad about the situation and would appreciate advice and prayers.
00:44:08
Speaker
I'm not angry, but I'm sad. That is just something you say on the internet to sound like a reasonable person. i also... like question again let's go i i question this guy's his impulse control is a serious problem like It's yeah pretty easy to just not like hard look at other people when you're with someone. If you're just like constantly glancing out the windows looking at people, like, dude, what just keep your eyes on the road, weirdo. It's not. just That's easy shit. This is just being a regular human instead of like a deviant pervert. like i don't I think this guy has... i don't i don't trust this person at all with around other people.
00:44:51
Speaker
Yeah, it just everybody seems very young and very stupid. I would love this. you There's always so many things you want to know that you don't get to know in these posts, because as we've talked about, like the people are writing them from a position of like, how do I say this? So I sound the most reasonable.
00:45:09
Speaker
Like, and even this, he's trying to sound reasonable. Like, and obviously he's a quote unquote admitting to the wrongdoing, but this is all the, this has all like the markers and traits of a pastor who is caught doing something inappropriate, you know, where they're just like, I recognize my shortcomings, but I'm trying to give it up to God. And I hope that everyone prays for me. Like, it's just all, it's just, this is like learned rhetoric from watching pastors fail constantly throughout our entire lives.
00:45:39
Speaker
Yeah, I think this is just what what people do a lot. wait You know, it's like, first of all, you don't feel that bad or you would stop doing it, you know? Second, i i what I don't understand is when you have such a... This real addiction. You can't say things like that. That's so insensitive.
00:46:00
Speaker
My mistake. He has a real addiction to butts in jeans. All the respect in world for his convictions, you know. he loves ah He likes a bubble packed in denim, dude. what are you gonna I mean get off his back.
00:46:12
Speaker
I follow this weird little guy on TikTok that Of course you do. I mean, that's your entire algorithm.
TikTok Oddities & Ethical Consumerism
00:46:20
Speaker
He's like a very dirty looking dude. And... Crusty mustache? has Funko... Yes, actually. Yeah, he does.
00:46:27
Speaker
And he has a Funko Pop collection that he likes to show off and he like horny posts. But in like, I think what he what he presumes is like woke language or something like it's some like him horny posting and being a weirdo is like empowering women or whatever, because he likes he he thinks that he likes unconventional things or something. But like he posted one the other day and he's like,
00:46:54
Speaker
This is he. First off, he has the driest mouth in the world. Like his mouth just seems sticky all the time. And he starts every video by going. That's 80% of the videos you send me. You are addicted to dry mouth.
00:47:09
Speaker
That's your addiction. Dry mouth and people who can't say ours. That's my favorite. is Exclude. The only R that they can say is the R word. And then you're like, then you love it again. But.
00:47:24
Speaker
It's if if April was like, hey, this is really in the way of our relationship. I need you to stop watching videos of sticky mouth creeps. You would be like, I'm sorry, this is over. I would say you need to respect my boundaries. yeah
00:47:43
Speaker
This is self-care for me. I have to make fun of someone. Yeah, that he just like ah he posted a video the other day and he's like, Well, this is an 18 plus video.
00:47:57
Speaker
And I just wanted to say that I find women's butt cracks sexy. 18. That means he got it got over 18 views. Is that what mean? I guess so. Yeah.
00:48:13
Speaker
He's been on this like long rambling tangent about women's butt cracks and how he likes them. And I'm like the crack, huh? Just the top of it. Like the top of it when it comes up their pants.
00:48:26
Speaker
I guess. I guess. And he likes ah he likes BBWs. He says that a lot. He's like, I like BBWs. And oh I think BBWs are sexy.
00:48:40
Speaker
This is okay. Fine. Yeah, that's fine. It's fine. Lots of people do. Like, what what is it? You want to, we want an award. Like you're so progressive because you like, like bigger women. Like good for you. Lots of people do. What is this? What are you doing? Is this, are you expecting to pick one up in the comments? Because this is not going to work out for you. Or do you go back to rearranging your Funkos dummy? this It's Max Horny posting. And those are the most dangerous people around women in the world.
00:49:09
Speaker
Did you? Okay. you so You don't have TikTok, right? I don't because i have values and I. Oh, I see. No, I don't. I mean, i ah i was I did delete it what whenever whatever that news that when it sold.
00:49:26
Speaker
And it was just. Oh, yeah. like the l hell on or whatever. Yeah. the Which whatever. I mean, it doesn't matter. I'm using meta like, OK, I'm not any better. I just look. I'll go back to this. Some people don't eat at Chick-fil-A.
00:49:40
Speaker
I'm not going to fight you on it. It's good. You should. But you don't have to. Some people don't shop on Amazon. That's even less than people who shop on chick who shop at eat at Chick-fil-A.
00:49:51
Speaker
But what I get tired of is the argument about what you should shouldn't spend your money on. Because when people like, I don't need a Chick-fil-A. And then you go, do you have an Amazon Prime account? and They're like, well, that's different. And like, it's, I promise you, I promise you, Jeff Bezos is creating a much larger hell for us all to live in than the CEO of Chick-fil-A.
00:50:11
Speaker
Well, so you didn't get to see the video that I sent you and Spencer the other day, but I thought I don't think anybody will think this is as funny as I thought it was. But to me, it was just like this amazing little encapsulation of like ah rural white America.
00:50:27
Speaker
So there's a there's an account that I follow on there and the ladies she runs it. She she calls it vamps kitchen. i thought you were about to tell me you got into making and making a new tick tock to do like to do tick tock dances and shit.
00:50:43
Speaker
No, no, no i mean no. But Vamp does cooking videos and they are unconventional to say the least. Right. And then so she's I guess she's a vampire or whatever. I don't know.
00:50:54
Speaker
But she's like ah kind of an old barfly looking lady, you know, and her husband's like a big fat barfly looking dude. And what age are we what ageish are we looking at here?
00:51:05
Speaker
Well, they're in that segment of like white America where like it's really hard to tell. yeah Like they're aging like milk in the sun. yeah So I would say late 50s, but like it could be 80. It's hard to tell.
00:51:20
Speaker
And so she starts making this video and she's like, today I'm um ah i'm cooking up something special and I'm going to show you how to do it. So we start off with a crock pot, right? And she goes, first off, we're going to add about two cups of orange crush.
00:51:37
Speaker
So she dumps, I mean, ah up to a great start, a good half a liter of orange soda into it. And you're like, we're putting orange soda in a crock pot.
00:51:49
Speaker
So then it was like, you let it cook on high for like six weeks until it caramelizes. She and she adds milk and butter and like seasonings and stuff like that. And then dumps a whole box of elbow noodles into it.
00:52:06
Speaker
And like um i two packs of Velveeta cheese. It's white trash pasta sauce. Dude, it's like the weirdest mac and cheese recipe ever. She goes, all right, and then we got to go to our other our side dish. So she goes over to a boiling pot and she dumps in two large bags of potato chips and cooks down these potato chips into like a mashed potato like substance, adding salt and stuff to it, too, which I can't imagine what the sodium content it was on this meal.
00:52:39
Speaker
But it's funny because you look in the comments like and people are like, what is like, why would you do this? And and people are like getting all high and mighty in there. they're like, well, because you live in rural America and you're poor and you live in a food desert. And it's like, no, you can buy you can buy potatoes for much cheaper than you can buy two big bags of potato chips. Potato chips aren't cheap anymore. It's like, no, it's pretty expensive.
00:53:06
Speaker
So she's cooking up this like disgusting slop and she finally like puts it on the plate and stuff. And she goes, Vamp's not or Blood's the guy.
00:53:17
Speaker
She's like, Blood's not going to be able to do the review the review today because he just started that Monjaro and he is sick as a dog. And she flashes over to and it's this huge guy all the way back in a recliner. Like this recliner is like,
00:53:34
Speaker
one sneeze away from snapping in half. what is my job he's wearing it's like a glp one shot okay and he's laying there covered in blankets like looking like death and he has going through withdrawal potato chip withdrawals literally he's shaking sodium with withdrawals probably and he's got a sleep apnea mask on that looks like it looks like a child sized one on his huge lumpy head
00:54:06
Speaker
a It was just like the funniest thing. And so her friends did the review whose his name is dip can. Oh, my God. Why do people? Why do? Why do like rural crusty whites all need weird nicknames? Why is that? They love them, dude.
00:54:22
Speaker
They they really love having a nickname. And they're always friend rat fuck. And he's going to be like, what?
00:54:31
Speaker
Yeah. ah No, I thought it was so funny. I just kept laughing hysterically. and Everybody I said it to, it's like, we're like, OK. They left you on red. Dang the comments really aren't that funny on this post. It's just a lot of people being like, ah you could definitely not look at women's butts and whatnot. These two are doomed. They're going to get divorced and best of luck to the lady. She should divorce. this guy yeah it's tough because you know she's gonna be she's gonna end up like a single mom you know trying to raise this kid i i saw a man i wish i saved this one this one was really interesting um
00:55:16
Speaker
And it was a woman who I should just try to find it later, but it was a woman. It was in like, it was in a, you know, a Christian relationship, um, whatever, a divorced woman.
00:55:29
Speaker
And she said, Oh no, dude, I'm totally, it's so funny. This is why I can't find it. This is one we talked about that you sent me. Should we, let's just, should we just get into it then? Oh, yeah.
00:55:40
Speaker
Because this one was this one's incredible. Yeah, yeah. Let me go through. got to pull it up. Go back through our texts. um It's so funny because we talked about it at the top of the episode about whether or not we do it. And then I'm over here trying to think about it. That's that's how much that's just how much dumb shit me and you and our the the people that were in group chats would just share ridiculous stuff nonstop. It's like, you know, you get hit at it from all angles all day. It's hard to remember exactly where the worst things of the Internet, where you saw them and how to refine them. But I bet you there's a lot more comments on that post now than when I was looking at it.
00:56:20
Speaker
Yeah, it looks like there's a lot. ah No, there's really not. um It's not much at all.
Pornography & Demonic Influence
00:56:25
Speaker
ah but So this is in the true Christian subreddit and it was, uh, this one is i I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll just read it. Um, my daughter's father has a porn addiction and masturbation obsession as well.
00:56:41
Speaker
I was aware of this when we were engaged, but it never, moed it never bothered me because I was heavily into BDSM before being saved. Um, I used his phone the other day to take a picture of our four-year-old daughter and looked at his history so I know that he is still...
00:57:00
Speaker
excuse me, still watching it. I didn't say anything because I know I was wrong for invading his privacy. After I broke off our engagement and was saved, I started going to church with our daughter.
00:57:12
Speaker
He came once to watch her perform for Easter and then left as soon as they opened the doors, never took off his coat and sat tensed up the entire time. I think he may be undiagnosed ASD.
00:57:23
Speaker
Long story. You can't just say long story and throw that out there and not provide any context because following up him, just not wanting to sit in boring ass church.
00:57:34
Speaker
It. Okay. Not the, that's not related to having undiagnosed a ASD. Uh, Anyway, so I know I shouldn't send anything too lengthy or too heavy in scripture because he either won't watch it or it won't resonate with him.
00:57:52
Speaker
Just something to open him up to the thought of it being wrong and what can mean for him and our child. Perfect sentence structure. Uh, our daughter, this, this one, this part sent me, dude. Uh, our daughter sleeps over his house on weekends.
00:58:08
Speaker
He still lives with his parents at 50 years old. Well, yeah, you also were engaged in what I don't, we don't know the backstory. We don't know the living situation. I'm not really going to go to bat for this guy. Cause he seems like he does have a problem.
00:58:21
Speaker
Um, but if you have a kid together, They're kids four. So you had a, you, you were in relationship with this guy. He was 46 when you guys had this kid now he's 15. You have a four year old. Like what's, what's going on? What is the backstory here? Because if you guys had a place together and now you have a house with the, with their, with your daughter, and then he has to figure out what to do next.
00:58:46
Speaker
I don't, that that this is, this could easily be a non-starter for me. ah Our daughter sleeps over his house on the weekends. He still lives with his parents at 50 years old. So our daughter sleeps in the same bed in a spare room upstairs where his parents sleep. And I don't know what that means.
00:59:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's that's that's what I was wondering, too, because it's like, is that is she sleeping with her dad or is she sleeping with her grandparents? I think with her dad, which isn't OK, so let me keep going.
00:59:20
Speaker
Okay, no, he sleeps in the basement, as I don't allow him to bring her to the basement where his room is. I truly don't think he would watch it in the same room as her, but I can't confidently say that because the spirit of lust will have you thinking all kinds of sexual immorality is okay.
00:59:38
Speaker
Ideally, I'd like to find a video that touches on the fact that there are demonic things that come up along with pornography and masturbation, and Those dirty masturbation demons. Thank you in advance for any suggestions. And what the fuck is this post? Like it, you, okay. You to get to a point, like, we don't know. We do not know. Like we don't know how often or how much or how intensely or infrequently this guy's doing this. Right. We're we're seeing her pick up. She's talking about the stage of goonery. Yeah.
01:00:12
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. She's picking up his phone and seeing some search terms, which she doesn't share, unfortunately, because that would shed a lot of light on what we're talking about. I think um that's part. of I felt like to me, it seems like if this if he was looking at something that was truly like revolting, I feel like she would have said what it was.
01:00:35
Speaker
Right. And of course, like nobody, like whatever people are looking for, if you're just reading the search terms and how specific they get about what you're looking for, that could be, that I mean, that'd be jarring. ah I had at one point used someone's computer and found like when I started typing in, it was just like a long list of like search terms, all porn.
01:01:02
Speaker
And I pretended like I didn't see it, like a grown ass person. You just move on with your life. And this was a this is a while back, dude. That was probably in my mid-20s at the time. And it was like, oh, jarring. ah But also, that was probably like one night of just trying to come for this person. You know what I mean? Like, ah do this. Oh, now want this. Now I want this. it's it's It's jarring to read, but we don't know the specifics. So that that that does that matters. But we'd also like...
01:01:36
Speaker
I don't know. Like you said, we don't know the level of Goonery here, but to assume that you would do that with your kid in the room is kind of nuts. I think.
01:01:47
Speaker
Yeah. There are a lot of people every day and they're, plenty of metrics on it that come out looking at porn and most of them are not doing it with children in the room with them. Like that's, and that's, that's a crazy thought that like you have when you get to that stage of evangelicalism where you just equate anything like that with the, the worst versions of like human sickness and what it can turn into. Like they treat porn like a gateway drug to being a pedophile or something like that.
01:02:20
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, I think ah and I think demons do a lot of heavy lifting in all of this stuff because you can attribute like anything you want to demons. I mean, that's the whole thing. Like you can make those crazy ideological jumps like that from being like he looks at porn a lot, you know, to ah he might abuse our daughter.
01:02:45
Speaker
But because, you know, he's not fully in control, it's demons and the demons might have him doing all sorts of crazy stuff. It's like, what are you talking about, man? That's such a crazy assertion to make. And so what, so what is this now? Like, what are you saying is that you, you'll, you won't feel safe with your daughter staying with him unless he, uh, unless he swears to, agree with your opinion on pornography or swear it off or,
01:03:14
Speaker
let you be his accountability partner or what? Like, yeah, dude, my thought it's a dark thought, but it immediately goes to statistically, I feel like a kid is more likely to be abused by like, Oh, the kid's staying there. And i don't let him stay in the room with dad and the basement with dad because I'm worried about x Y, and z So instead i make her sleep all the way upstairs in a bed un like with, uh,
01:03:46
Speaker
but Oh, my God. Totally blanking on a word. Grandparents. Unsupervised. Unsupervised with the grandparents. I look I most people trust their parents and that's they normal. um And I'm not trying to make anyone distrust their parents. But like.
01:04:04
Speaker
there's just as many stories of things going bad going that route too. Like, I don't, it just stop, just stop. Like this is too much. And so let's just move to the demonology thing again, because that does come up in the comments. It's a, it might be pointless if he doesn't believe in the D and in the demonic or God, the behavior you described at Easter makes it sound like he's either not a Christian, duh,
01:04:31
Speaker
An atheist, duh, is anti-Christian, possibly, or possibly possessed. Cool. Okay. Honestly, I would be worried about him being alone with a little girl if he has such an addiction.
01:04:45
Speaker
Honestly, if his parents are not there, I definitely would be create more of a boundary. They are always home and very attentive to her because they are both retired. And it's like, oh, I'm creating a boundary. Look, I don't want to be this guy.
01:04:59
Speaker
ah But I will be on when we're talking about Reddit posts where you never get the full story. You saw I would create more of a boundary. OK, take it up with the court then. Like, what do you do? Like the court has the final say in what the custody agreement is. And if these are your concerns, take it up with the court.
01:05:17
Speaker
Don't send him Christian videos. Don't send it like take it up with the court if you're worried about it. Like and then if they rule in your favor, great. But like this isn't your choice because it's also his kid. So like, yeah, and like figure it out. What the fuck's wrong with these people? Who are you to be... Like, you guys aren't together anymore, you know? So, like, who are you to be even, like, talking to him about that subject?
01:05:39
Speaker
I mean, if there's some sort of indication that something was something bad was happening, then go full, you know, scorched earth, for sure, but Yeah, just the just the like the watch out his search history.
01:05:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's just I found search history and now I know he's an addict and a total degenerate. He's 50. Even though I knew his parents. and mean I mean, what else has he got to do?
01:06:03
Speaker
Yeah. And she knew he was like this. Oh, we used to be into BDSM together. Oh, you think that stopped because you got saved and broke up? Like, what are you doing, lady?
01:06:14
Speaker
ah this but well that The only other good comment here is, ah I was saved nearly three years ago by the Holy Spirit. Oh, what about Jesus Christ? I thought Jesus did the saving. I guess it's the same in the Triune God.
01:06:29
Speaker
I cannot begin to describe how torturous it was to leave behind 20 plus years of porn and masturbation. The demons... That tormented me with sex dreams and intimidation tactics leading up to face face encounter with three of them.
01:06:45
Speaker
This guy got hit by six. He duked it out Constantine style. Did he have to get out like a blessed shotgun? Just buck naked fighting off three yeah sex demons, three ah sleep paralysis demons that were trying to have their way with him. He's splashing cold water on his penis going, the power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you.
01:07:10
Speaker
That used to be the only way he could get up. It's created a confusing situation. I can say with certainty that the demons have your ex chained and bound to that lifestyle until Jesus comes and saves him like he did with me.
Christian Business Ventures & Skepticism
01:07:26
Speaker
I can say with certainty. But something in his heart needs to be stirred enough for him to want to leave that lifestyle behind and is willing to start doing things God's way. That's something us Christians can't do.
01:07:38
Speaker
So yeah so what I mean, really, you're just fear mongering and telling her to bow out and like, what are you? that That's the the most unhelpful.
01:07:49
Speaker
You should take the kid and run because you'll never stop him from masturbating until he comes to God on his own. Well, OP, also known as Saved by Grace 57, says, ah that is the stirring of his spirit that I'm hoping for.
01:08:06
Speaker
I know if I send him full text, he won't read it. But my plan was to screen record a video and send it to him via a link. Good He can see the thumbnail or title and maybe won't watch it.
01:08:18
Speaker
I know it is something that he needs to want for himself, but I have to try something. A real warrior for Christ. Yeah, she gets a crown in heaven for that. Oh, my God. These people. And again, that's another just like self-suck of a Reddit comment. Like, hey, how do I make this about me and give you nothing and no hope at all? Perfect.
01:08:39
Speaker
Just like the epitome of Redditor comments. But speaking of... We move Speaking of self-suck... Yeah, you got you you have a couple fun a couple new fun friends to bring to the table, right? Yes, I have to ah have to shout out my smoking hot wife for finding a couple of amazing accounts.
01:09:01
Speaker
And, ah you know, normally we cover ah people that suck. I guess this is sort of the similar sort of thing, but April recently came across two Just ah really inspiring Christian companies.
01:09:18
Speaker
Oh, I love when Christians align themselves so tightly with capitalism. Yeah, it really is. it really is incredible. And, you know, if the if the business succeeds, it's all by the grace of God. And if it fails, then we just never talk about it again. You know, I mean, after we let people know that they've been heavily afflicted by demons and that, you know, the the powers and principalities of this world didn't want them to succeed, but they're not giving up. They will try a new grift soon enough.
01:09:50
Speaker
Well, the first of these two businesses is ah is a very inspiring, um you know, is there ah is there a more demonically afflicted industry right now in the United States than the housing industry?
01:10:04
Speaker
Oh, housing. Dude, if if there's a single segment of the American economy that could use like the light of Christ, I think it's the housing industry. and i can't get over this already because if you're if you're getting involved in the housing industry as a Christian, then you should be providing free housing at ah almost entirely. It should be the most clean, clear version of a nonprofit anyone's ever seen.
01:10:31
Speaker
But I bet it's not. Well, this is the other end of that spectrum, I'd say. So this is ah Calvary Homes, a Texas home builder.
01:10:42
Speaker
Of course it's Texas. Of course it's Texas, dude. If you want to check them out, it's Calvary Homes TX on Instagram. And these guys are building McMansions for Christ. so are they is this Is this a Christian? Okay, it's not for the... it's not for This isn't for people who need homes, is it?
01:11:03
Speaker
No, this is for these Christian luxury. I would I would so I would guess I don't know exactly what the the Texas housing market looks like, and I'm not sure exactly what part of Texas this is in. But I would guess that these are probably in the like 750 to 1.2 million range.
01:11:24
Speaker
Nice. Just by looking at them here. Yeah, I don't know. It's crazy that I went the other direction with that at first. That's. Yep. So this guy does a lot of ah posts where he dances around outside of one of the houses that he built.
01:11:38
Speaker
um He also likes to inscribe Bible verses into the pavement outside the home. Okay. So, uh, This one, it says maybe you're... love when Christians treat shit like that. like I love when Christians act like they hate paganism, but then protect their houses with like letters and signs and rituals and like put up fucking totems and Christian totems and shit to keep out the demons. like what do you It's the same shit. Grow up. Yeah, maybe what we should do here is start with ah their their website, which is navarealtygroup.co.
01:12:16
Speaker
um This says, by glorifying Christ in all that we do, we aim to create not just homes, but havens where families thrive, relationships flourish, and futures are built on a foundation of love and compassion.
01:12:31
Speaker
They also have a book out. This is by Armando and Pearl Nava. Dude, they have a higher degree of crumbling foundations than any other contractor in the Texas area.
01:12:42
Speaker
Wouldn't it be ironic?
01:12:45
Speaker
So their book is called. That's part of the ploy. They're like, well, some people build their houses upon the rock. And you didn't specify that that was important to you. So you got sand. I built your house upon the sand.
01:13:00
Speaker
And ah now you can pay me to fix the foundation. it's a valuable life lesson. This is a metaphor, bro. You need to take the metaphor on the chin. God works in mysterious ways. And I think there's a lot we can all learn from this bad job that I did.
01:13:18
Speaker
um Okay, so their book is called Built for This, From Trials to Triumph, Guided by Faith and Love by Pearl and Armando Nava. Who's buying this book? it's um It's free with every house they sell. it's just But it's not even just one book. day like Every house they sell, you get a garage full of free books to try to sell.
01:13:39
Speaker
It must not be selling well because there's only four reviews. But it does have five stars. yeah from the The author, the co-author, the editor, and the whatever whack-ass publication company they got to sign on to it. Their only set of parents that still talk to them.
01:13:58
Speaker
Armando Nava's YouTube channel, Nava the Beast, oh my God, was the first official military influencer account, earning him fame and fortune. Behind the camera, Nava struggled with addiction and self-esteem issues. That all changed when he met Pearl, a Cuban immigrant and a new Christian.
01:14:17
Speaker
Before their stories converged, Pearl endured years of physical abuse. At her lowest point, she intended to end her life, but the Lord had a better plan for her. In the memoir built for this. Mary Rich White Man.
01:14:29
Speaker
Well, his name is Armando, so he's probably. Oh, Armando. Okay. He's Latinx as well. um Armando and Pearl explain how stepping away from money and fame and absorbing the words of the gospel led to their greatest adventures yet, dedicating their lives to the Lord and building a successful real estate business together.
01:14:48
Speaker
The novel is explained. How the Christian walk is like building a house. You cannot rush the process if you want a solid foundation. It takes them three years to build a house. and They're like, you can't rush the process. And half of our workforce was actually picked up by ice. So, yeah, take what you can get. They recount how the hours Pearl spent on her knees praying for her husband led to Armando's radical transformation.
01:15:16
Speaker
Wow. You know what? We should share this book with the lady who wants to save her porn addicted husband from having a relationship with his four year old daughter.
01:15:27
Speaker
he ah So this is him standing in front of one of the houses and it says when Jesus is the owner of the company.
01:15:41
Speaker
He has a small plastic Jesus figurine on the ground and he is, i guess, speaking to it. He's kind of like looks like he's preaching a sermon at the house.
01:15:53
Speaker
I can't wait till this guy gets um arrested for tax evasion. And his defense to court is, well, Jesus owns the company and Jesus doesn't pay taxes. Yeah.
01:16:05
Speaker
um Oh, here we go. this is ah This is his story. I can only oh that was good. Why'd you stop that? In 2019, I left the Marines and I started all over again. Having no foundation built in Jesus Christ, I was broken, lost, and afraid of coming back to society.
01:16:22
Speaker
I tried to heal the wounds of emptiness, depression, and loneliness through all different substances, numbing the pain and void. But by God's grace, I had my beautiful wife Pearl by my side that prayed for my healing.
01:16:34
Speaker
Not growing up in the faith, it was hard for me to understand. My wife never gave up on me though, even when I laughed in her face and told her, God is not going to save us. You're wasting your breath.
01:16:46
Speaker
That is pretty harsh. Is this a real wife? Or is it one that he like forced to marry him when he was a Marine invading other people's countries? I think it technically has a pulse, but it's mostly plastic.
01:16:59
Speaker
Okay. She continued to pray for me until 2020 when I fully surrendered to Christ as my Savior. Then we started our real estate journey together, sharing the gospel through our home property tours. And Jesus prospered us like never before.
01:17:13
Speaker
We achieved our dreams. In four years, we became a power couple in the real estate industry. I received all types of awards and made the most income I could have ever dreamed of. But I saw myself Donald Trump. But I saw myself drifting away from Christ and my family, little by little, chasing the world and running away from what matters most.
01:17:35
Speaker
So in 2024, after working with the largest home developers in America for many years, we saw the lack in the industry. So my wife and I started Calvary Homes together, not knowing where God would take it. But all we knew, we wanted to all we knew we wanted to build something.
01:17:53
Speaker
We wanted to build something together this time for a bigger purpose than ourselves, bringing the light of Christ into the development world, building homes on the firm foundation. So this is the picture that he has for that ah in his like turning away from the money post and like just following Christ.
01:18:12
Speaker
Okay. It's like a glamour shot of them. Yeah. I bet you they're a GQ like picture. Yeah, i bet you therere they're wearing $12,000 worth of clothing in this picture.
01:18:24
Speaker
All right, two things. First, is there anything more annoying than following? you you follow We follow a lot of people on social media from like high school, college, whatever. Is there anything worse than when one of those people gets into real estate and they're higher their entire social media presence becomes all about that every time it's they can't keep it separate they can't make a new page they turn it into it's real estate is the socially acceptable and mlm it that's what it is that's how it how it represents itself in the social media sphere um second when we were when my wife and i were trying to get like when was this
01:19:09
Speaker
Yeah, it was ah we went after we sold our first house and we were trying to figure out what to do. We were looking at possibly building um because that was when we so when we sold our house, it was God. What year? it was like that would have been.
01:19:25
Speaker
ah Who cares? I can't. I'm not doing that kind of math right now. Over 10 years ago when we sold our first house. And so the market was different ah building buildings. was more, but not not what it is now. If you were like going to build a house now, you'd spend so much more on a house than you do if you just buy one. but Um, we, we talked to this builder, uh, in, we, I don't know how it came up.
01:19:51
Speaker
He said something, he brought up Christian stuff, or maybe he said something. ah i don't, I really wish I could recall how Christianity came up. It's possible, you know, we mentioned something about being in a church in the area or something like that.
01:20:06
Speaker
Maybe someone recommended us to them. Yeah. But but he would, he went really hard in the whole like Christian thing. Like, Oh yeah. Like he's a Christian. Uh, he goes to this church that whatever. And ah even like, even then, you know, when I'm like early twenties, um, well, mid to late twenties, I'm like, I'm still super like, uh,
01:20:29
Speaker
active in it. I'm like, I've never trusted people when doing business that want to talk about it. It made it made me immediately be like, we can't trust this guy. i This is all... this is you're you're You're trying to Use that common ground to like convince me that you're a trustworthy guy, which means you're going to fuck me. And I know you're going to fuck me and you're going to use like, and even if he doesn't think he's doing that, it's going to, it's going to create this like, yeah. in his mind, like subconsciously, I can, if something goes wrong, I can default to or fall back on our common faith for you to understand that this wasn't intentional.
01:21:14
Speaker
Like I just, I don't, I, I've never, I have never trusted any Christian in business who tries to leverage their, career use it as a selling point that it's, it's, it's listed in their features and benefits slide on their PowerPoint. Yeah.
01:21:28
Speaker
there's ah There's trucks that drive around my area. it's ah they're they're On their trucks, it's Christian carpenters. And it's just, there's like a Bible verse and they do. It's like, this is, fuck you guys. I will never reach out. Do they not hire anybody who's not a Christian then? Or like, you know, it's just, it's dumb. If you had any sense, if you it's such a it's such a boomer thing and these guys are...
01:21:51
Speaker
way too young to be doing this, but like, it's such a boomer thing to like commandeer your faith to try to pitch junk, whatever sort of crappy product you're doing or something. Cause if you had any sense at all, you'd be like, well, sometimes through no fault of anybody's people end up sour in like business deals and stuff, you know, or they feel like they didn't get what they wanted or something like, I don't want to drag,
01:22:18
Speaker
my faith and my church into this sort of thing. But I, it's never a second thought to no like boomers, especially. i did find their LLC page. um I kind of want to look into them and see like what kind of reviews they have, ah what people are saying about them.
01:22:36
Speaker
They've had to move carpenters from one territory to another because they molested children. Yeah. I mean, we don't fire him. We just move him to a different area. ah
01:22:52
Speaker
Right off the bat, it doesn't seem like they don't have a lot of reviews, which is crazy because they've been around for over a decade because I've been seeing them for a long time. Yeah.
01:23:04
Speaker
14 reviews on Yelp, 4.1 stars, not a lot of though Google reviews, um, only from Facebook. So I don't know. Um, I kind of want to look into them though. I'm going to like find their, I might look into their website, see if it's entertaining and then just shit on a local business while we're for our next episode.
01:23:24
Speaker
So continuing on, he says, now fast forward in 2026, we've built multiple homes for families and continue to serve and build for the glory of Christ, serving every family, at one home at a time and not shying about our faith in Christ, loving the people where they are, where they are at, regardless of their background, showing their love of Christ to every walk of life, building something together as a family for families. And I really want to email him and be like, Like, I was wondering if you could build a house for my me and my trans husband. We're trying to adopt.
01:24:00
Speaker
i believe i mean I actually need you to I need you to get like a long email chain going to them so you can read it here. Please do. Please. I never get the response I want out of that kind of stuff. I comment on Christian like nutty Christian influencer pages all the time. And I'm like,
01:24:19
Speaker
They'll be like kind something about like following God, even when things are tough. And I'll be like, I remember like I'll make this big, long post about how I left my family because I heard God's calling and I've never looked back. And it's the greatest thing.
01:24:39
Speaker
no but so yeah social media is different they don't engage with those posts because it's not helpful for them but you're talking to a legitimate business and you want to like you like my budget's around like 1.5 million like in make it somewhat in the realistic realm right um then like but don't start don't what you don't do is you Start with, hey, I want to build a house for me and my trans partner and our the kid we'd like to adopt or they my trans.
01:25:11
Speaker
You could say, look, you got to boil we grog a little slowly. Yeah. you So you start with just asking about a quote. um You wait till they I bet they would say something about their faith. Yeah.
01:25:25
Speaker
ah because it's so important to them. You try to like maybe bait it out of them a little bit. um You could get, you could get insane. You could, you could be more subtle with it ah or you could get real wild.
01:25:36
Speaker
um And you could say something about like your trans husband who's willing to, you know, buck the social order in and, and carry your child ah through con vitro or something like that.
01:25:50
Speaker
And then like you could get nuts if you wanted to. And they, that might throw them off. Um, but you could also just like massage it in there a little bit and then see, just see if the direction, like the winds shift. I would, I, but I think if you start off with a general inquiry,
01:26:09
Speaker
um add something about I feel like you could probably get a good email chain going and and then see if you can get them to like dip out on their own despite the dollar value being like around 1.5 mil.
01:26:21
Speaker
Yeah, I think you have to go through the credit check first and then we'll really be able to test their values and how how closely they stick to them. Dude, that's true. who do you How could you...
01:26:33
Speaker
Do you know anyone who'd be willing to put their credit on the line for this bit? I think it false i could falsify my parents' signatures probably.
01:26:46
Speaker
I'm sure there'll be good sports about that. Dad, I need your help. I have this really funny idea. It gains absolutely nothing. ah it'll only hurt your credit a little bit when they do a credit check. And we're just going to laugh about it with some people online. It's not, but I really could use your support. And if you love me, you will do it.
01:27:08
Speaker
Oh man. These two are just like the absolute like influencer couple stereotype. Let's see one more post from these guys. And then I have to show you one other business that is even more fun.
01:27:19
Speaker
to let it go. Let go of trying to take control, surrender to him and let him lead the way. In order for God to take you to the promised land, he's going have to take you out of Egypt. But through that process, you are going to go to the season of the wilderness. And this is where your character is forged. This is where your character is molded. This is where God raises you up to become the leader he's called you to be. But you have to be willing to let go of whatever you're holding on to and surrender to him.
01:27:44
Speaker
Nice. if you follow that analogy to its natural if you follow that analogy If you follow that analogy to its natural conclusions about having to be taken away from Egypt and into the Promised Land, you'll eventually find yourself in Israel starting pogroms in the West Bank.
01:28:00
Speaker
yeah I mean, solid business move, right? You'll be next to a guy with teeth like a can opener, like recording your beheading farm animals.
01:28:15
Speaker
also so annoying. A guy whose face is a guy who's so ugly, a picture of his face is labeled anti-Semitic.
01:28:28
Speaker
and That was like one of the funniest stories of the years when that Italian magazine published a a real photo of a guy in the West Bank who is like being an obnoxious settler. And they're like, this is racist.
01:28:41
Speaker
yeah ah he oh stupid that that and That stuff is such... Oh, my God. like It's such horseshit because, first of all, this guy had experience in the industry and clearly like probably knew a thing or two.
01:28:58
Speaker
it's i It's even possible that he's a solid builder. It's possible. I mean, probably. If you just trust God, he'll take you to the promised It's like, dude, you just... worked for other people and started your own business and it went well. Like that's not, I hate when people apply any success to the fact that they trusted God. They feel an obligation for Christians.
01:29:22
Speaker
Success is terrible for Christians because every, every success makes you believe that God's on your side, which can only lead you to be a bad person. Eventually in your life, you can't be, You can't just keep following that and keep being successful and think that God's on your side without eventually trying to just like, without eventually just being a bad person that leads people astray. You can't. Well, I also think too that like the, you know, I want to give all the glory to God look, look,
01:29:52
Speaker
i don't I wouldn't pick people's motives apart if they didn't like so publicly make them a part of their pitch and their scam. you know But like yeah there's like this selfish um motive in a way for doing that where you're like, I don't want God to turn the faucet off. So like I have to make a big spectacle out of doing it because I want more for me. Yeah, and that's a good clarification because like what I'm saying and what I just said, i feel like with your clarification is when it applies. Like there are people in their private life who are successful and they're quiet and they can attribute it to God. And you could do that from a disposition like that you would from any religion of just a sense of gratitude and gratefulness. And you can invest in your community and you can,
01:30:42
Speaker
pay it forward and those people exist. So let's that's that's a good clarification. And I want to delineate people like this, people who use it like that. You can't. You're not a good person and you like I don't trust you at all.
01:30:56
Speaker
ah But yes, there are people who who have that sense of gratitude for their success in their private life that don't market it and use it to just swindle people.
01:31:09
Speaker
ah They don't use it a marketing strategy. And then, yeah, ah cool. I'm glad that you had this successful business and now like you donate to charity and you pay your people well and they love working for you and that's how you pay for it That's awesome. that is ah That's a good way to live your life. So no shade towards those people. In that sense, you can be a good person and do it.
01:31:32
Speaker
So, okay, so it's it's a little scummy to use God and your faith and your religion and stuff like that to pitch your product to people,
Faith-Based Marketing Satire
01:31:43
Speaker
right? Yes. To try to like yeah get attention for your thing that you're doing. how Do you feel like it would be more or less scummy to use a real life person for that same purpose?
01:31:55
Speaker
depends on i want to say it depends on the person but I feel like I'm setting myself up for a trap do you want to guess what person I think it look before we before I guess a person I think that the only time you're allowed to use your faith to pitch a product is if it's sex toys Yeah.
01:32:14
Speaker
Take the rabbi angle on it. and Yeah. Just get your daughter with you and make some dildo videos, you know, just really get the word out.
01:32:26
Speaker
The real taboo um in that community for dildos is uncut, ah just big uncut dildos. if yeah If you really want to be a rebel. I wonder if that's a problem. like can you Are you not allowed to buy it?
01:32:46
Speaker
Do you okay in in these markets really long? for they sell skin Yeah, do they sell more like uncut dildos than in ah in regular markets? I don't know if they make uncut dildos and now I'm carving out a set. Now I'm looking at my business process. We have two good business ideas tonight. Casey see first one is honey trapping Christian husbands. in a second who And the second is like really long, malleable. Like you can really just like get your mouth around it. Like and
01:33:25
Speaker
i'm cut tilll well that like a real foreskin you can pull all the way back. That is, that's business. too We are gonna fucking kill it.
01:33:38
Speaker
Remember at the dollar store, they would always have like the ah they'd have the ridiculous like candy toothpaste and stuff you know and the at the cash register. You could sell that to like fill the inside of the foreskin with.
01:33:51
Speaker
but Like that jelly, like that sour candy, the real saadmo Sour Apple Smeagma.
01:34:02
Speaker
well
01:34:08
Speaker
What's your flavor is, you know, Bavarian custard. Wild. Why do we do what we do? We honestly, we make zero dollars off this fucking thing and we have so many good ideas. It's crazy. Yeah. We need start a real LLC together. And i don we can cover the dude. I mean, we can cover just a broad market.
01:34:30
Speaker
Yeah, I really think of a variety. I mean, more or less what we we need. We ah can't be nailed down to a certain like product segment or something. We need like our own like SkyMall catalog.
01:34:42
Speaker
yeah if you're not growing you're dying we call it land and all and it's only in the backs the back seat uh storage things of church buses landfill mall
01:35:00
Speaker
ah it's all recycled all recycled dude from your local landfill perfect Okay, so the ethical angle. All right. So going back to our ah our second business here, if if anybody if they were going to use a real life a real person to grift off of, who do you think they would pick?
01:35:20
Speaker
Someone who is really down and out. um Who's they? Are we talking about these same people? A good Christian company. ah An immigrant?
01:35:32
Speaker
I'll start there. Is it an immigrant? Nope. ah Thoroughly American. Okay. I don't know, man. He's down and out. Hulk Hogan.
01:35:44
Speaker
Is he dead? ah Yes, he is actually. Yeah, he died. Okay. okay so ah this is Kid Rock. Kid Rock. this is The business in question here is Grooveberry's Froyo.
01:35:58
Speaker
oh It is a frozen yogurt place in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Very wealthy part of the country. Very white, very conservative. Very Bucy. No, no, no. You're kick yourself now when you hear it, okay?
01:36:13
Speaker
Um, the MyPillow guy. I'm just going to let her explain it. Okay. Time to squash this right now. So it said, why somebody wrote, she must get a lot of mean comments that say, why do you put Charlie Kirk on your yogurt cups? Oh my God.
01:36:31
Speaker
and it's time to squash it fellowship and fro-yo beaver bites says then put jesus on your cup and jennifer conley says how many jesus cups do you all have in our shop we have drawn a very hard line on putting an image of jesus christ on a disposable fro-yo cup we don't think that his image belongs on You can throw those away. Sure.
01:36:57
Speaker
holiness is way too great to be brought down to that level of commercial display our family and our business is built on the foundation of the word of god so we have bible verses on our cups and this one goes those way' like sure we have them kind of randomized so that people can pick a Bible verse cup and get kind of a random verse. And in a past video, I have addressed the reason that we have Charlie Kirk stickers on our cups. But in short, he was a man that recognized that this nation is breaking at the seams. And honestly, he risked his life for the sake of the gospel and spreading the word of God. We honor the messenger because we respect the message that he carried. It's time to squash this.
01:37:41
Speaker
And she has a Charlie Kirk sticker, like very conspicuously placed, like right over her right nipple. Nice. it's It's strange placement.
01:37:52
Speaker
It seems designed to invoke rage. and so maybe Maybe that's our third business plan is or our ah a sellable product is Charlie Kirk pasties.
01:38:05
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, she's she's got the idea, right? It's right under her nose, right under her right breast. She just has not grasped it yet. either maybe you Maybe you place him so the nipple goes right through where the velpel mic exploded into his neck.
01:38:20
Speaker
Ha ha ha ha!
01:38:23
Speaker
but So her page is a mix of just different. First off, I haven't had a lot of frozen yogurt, but it literally just looks like somebody taking a dump in a cup. Like it's like that. ah Nathan Fielder.
01:38:39
Speaker
Oh, Christ. Doesn't it just look like a big duke? yeah it's It's like the ah Nathan for you episode where he convinces the frozen yogurt the company to do shit flavored yogurt. Yeah, that was a classic. That was incredible.
01:38:57
Speaker
So ah she gets another she gets another rude question a lot that says Charlie Kirk never spoke the gospel. He only spoke hate. It's time to squash this right now.
01:39:08
Speaker
This is Kate, Fellowship, and Froyo. Mark McKesey states, to be honest, I haven't seen any clips of Charlie preaching the gospel. Only personal attacks, judgment, racist comments, bigoted comments, and overall, not the words that a follower of Jesus would speak regularly. Okay, so let me change that for you. Let's roll it. If you follow the Ten Commandments, your life will be objectively better and your society will be objectively better.
01:39:33
Speaker
God cares about everything you do. God cares about what you say, who you marry, how you act. I know that Satan is always trying to distract me from reading the word of God. I'm just flesh and bone, but more importantly, I'm a soul.
01:39:45
Speaker
That soul is accountable to one being. What matters is your relationship with the divine, your relationship with your family, your kids, and maybe a close collection of friends, and your relationship with the truth.
01:39:55
Speaker
It's time to squash this. i That's not exactly the gospel. No, not really at all. It's just saying all the things that you think God cares about. None of no Jesus. Nothing there. I mean, that dude was a fucking hack.
01:40:10
Speaker
Yeah, he he was. Yeah. And like I. i that Just the the lionization of him after the fact, like, OK, he had a couple of like good quotes, like 15 minutes before he died. But, you know, he took a lot of checks for a long time. yeah You know, he suddenly got too good to take the checks. And then that's when it caused problems, you know. But like, i don't know like just painting this guy is like some some hero after the fact.
01:40:39
Speaker
And whatever, if you like, and whatever. But I don't know. I mean, and you shouldn't, but if you do, like using... i i just love the idea of using a dead guy for marketing your frozen... year Like, how was... Your business was clearly struggling, and you're like, what can we do? We can put Charlie Kirk's face on it. Like, well you're you're... The problem is you're going for a shrinking demographic, right?
01:41:06
Speaker
ah Because people are... i mean, sure, people might be... leaving MAGA, but still might like Charlie Kirk, but it's all getting so muddled at this point that you're, you're just latching onto the wrong people. Yeah. Well, and it just gets like more and more gross the more you read into it here. So if you go to their website, which is grooveberries.com,
01:41:30
Speaker
Uh, immediately there's a pop-up that pops up on the screen. It says honoring the legacy of Charlie Kork Kirk as we merrier. Charlie Kork. What am I doing here? i just, I got that sticky mouth. I was making fun of that guy. for If that was his name, do you think he would have been as successful? Charlie Kork. Gnarly twerk would be a great stripper name. Yeah.
01:41:58
Speaker
And you only dance to that song. We are not.
01:42:05
Speaker
Honoring the legacy of Charlie Kirk. As we mourn, we also rejoice, for he now stands in glory before the King of Kings. To honor Charlie's memory and continue his legacy, you can pay it forward by donating a frozen yogurt to someone in our local community.
01:42:20
Speaker
We will also be directing funds to support our local Club America and TPUSA chapters. We deeply appreciate your support. you could do do you think anyone Do you think anyone from the local community is showing up for that freely donated yogurt? What are you doing? You're asking people to buy two frozen yogurts to get one, and then they're just not giving them away. They're clearly not giving them away. If you want to honor Charlie's legacy, you can buy another yogurt from us.
01:42:48
Speaker
and give it to another ah you know another poor person who can't afford frozen yogurt. Let me see what the average household income is in Coeur d'Alene. How do you even audit that? That's the safe to that's a very safe grift because it's it's hard to audit. because those i bet that's one of those cool ones where you pour your own. There's that wall of pumps, and you pour your own frozen yogurt. like a What's the froggy one? What's the... ah the Sweet frog. Oh, yeah, yeah. no It's that sort of thing.
01:43:20
Speaker
Yeah, you walk into a wall. So people just like fill a cup and they go, oh, I didn't want that flavor. And they dump it in the trash. Those are the ones that you're buying. You're buying the ones that people dump in the trash because they got the wrong flavor.
01:43:31
Speaker
So the median household income in Kansas is about, if I remember correctly, it's about $56,000 or The median household income in Idaho is The vast majority of households fall in the to income bracket.
01:43:51
Speaker
This is like a wealthy area, very affluent. It's where a lot of rich people up in the Northwest like have vacation homes where they go spend a week on the lake up there and stuff like. So if you want to honor Charlie Kirk's legacy, pay it forward and donate a frozen yogurt to another trust fund kid.
01:44:09
Speaker
Get out of here. You're donating it to people who have honored Christ with their life so hard that he paid it back to them in good dividends. It's true. on there We can only assume that God was very happy with him. Now, they do have a rotating flavor menu, so let me see what our our current flavors are. and And dude, every single post, every single picture that's on their site has Charlie Kirk's face on it. like why Don't you have to get authorization for that?
01:44:39
Speaker
I would sure think so. I don't know why TPUSA doesn't like it. I mean, they could use the funds right now because nobody is nobody cares about TPUSA now. Do they have ah ah Charlie Kirk's jugular as one of their rotating flavors?
01:44:55
Speaker
He does have text over his neck in most of these. ah Let's see. What does this one say? It says, ah Jesus defeated death so you can live, Charlie Kirk.
01:45:07
Speaker
Be like Charlie Kirk. That didn't work out for Charlie, though, did it? no And there is salvation for me also. I can't read it. It's a Bible verse of some sort. Charlie Kirk, Charlie Kirk. So their current flavors are green apple, California orange, honey, Greek, strawberries, California reason, cotton candy, Georgia peach, Charlie chirk Kirk's mint chocolate chip,
01:45:39
Speaker
So that's ah that's a flavor endorsed by him. He must have said in a wacky interview somewhere that he likes Mitch All the Chip. He didn't. They just, they used, they that went Charlie Kirk's chocolate chip. They just wanted to go with some like faux ass alliteration. That's, that was that. That's so just a week. It should be Charlie's chocolate chip.
01:46:01
Speaker
Get the alliteration right. Why are you throwing his last name in there? You'd think it'd be something pretty light in color, you know, it'd be like white chocolate hackadamia or something like that. Cake batter, white vanilla, white vanilla.
01:46:15
Speaker
Is there a different kind of vanilla? Well, one's Charlie Kirk's favorite and the other not as good. I do think that he would have endorsed that one, if anything, you know? Yeah. And then milk chocolate.
01:46:27
Speaker
So, yeah, if you're tooling around Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, you know, pour the pull the Aston Martin over and get a frozen yogurt at Groove Berries. And pay it forward.
01:46:40
Speaker
you know Honor Charlie's me legacy by buying double the amount of yogurt from this hack loser. Yeah, get one for the price of two. Solid, solid pitch. Solid marketing campaign.
01:46:52
Speaker
I just love it when people let Christ shine through their business. you know i think it's very inspiring. I like when they allow Christ's light to shine through the hole in Charlie's neck.
01:47:05
Speaker
Oh my God. Yeah. Maybe it was like an exploding lapel pin, like cross lapel pin or something like that.
01:47:18
Speaker
The ultimate insult. Not even Mossad stoops to that level. ah God. Well, um boy, that was fun. That was a lot. of That was rapid fire.
01:47:32
Speaker
That was. Well, folks, um don't forget we got a Discord. If you find something absurd online and you think it's something that we would like, send it to us.
01:47:45
Speaker
Either jump on Discord and post it there or send it to us ah on Instagram or something like that, but we would love to see any sort of funny or ridiculous things that you that you come across.
01:47:57
Speaker
So do that. Join the Discord, and we will talk to you next time.