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12 - X-Men #58-62 - Havok and Sauron
0 Playsin 8 hours
FULL SWING into the legendary NEAL ADAMS/ROY THOMAS run and Matt and Pat are finally absolutely loving the X-Men. We finally meet Havok in earnest and a vampiric pterodactyl named Sauron.
Other topics:
Always in our hearts: @canadawolverine. Danger AKA Havok. Pompeii jerk-off guy, Pompeii jerk-off city. More Sentinel bureaucracy. "TRASK'S TREACHERY TRASK'S TREACHERY." Fight the Sun! Mr. Anderson. Bobby's girl friend. “Observe the Monitron!” A rip-off fantasticar. What IS the sound of evil? Don't google Ben Casey. Warren is suck a dick. Beware the icy grip of death. What is 333x worse than a vampire pterodactyl? KA ZAR IS BACK. Equilibrius aka Mark joins the Loser League. Cyclops is a terrible dentist. "What’s wrong, are we keeping your dinosaurs awake?”
Write in to Pat's Email Corner: mutantmenacepod@gmail.com
Instagram: @mutantmenacepod
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Transcript
Introduction and Listener Interaction
00:00:01
Speaker
I'm Trish Tobey with W.A.R.C. reporting to you live from Westchester, New York, where there appears to be some sort of mutant menace on the loose.
00:00:34
Speaker
Hey, everybody, and welcome to Mute... Oh, fuck, I fucked it up. It's supposed be... Did you? Hi, everybody. I'm Matt Aucamp. And I'm Pat Reber. And say it with us, Pete.
00:00:46
Speaker
Pete. Welcome to Mute... Mute... Mute... Mute you got watch my mouth so all right well we'll do it better next time Yeah, yeah. We'll try again next time. Thank you, listener Pete, for emailing us the word Pete.
Tribute to Canada Wolverine
00:01:03
Speaker
Speaking of emails, Pat, before I ask you about your week, do we have any yeah do we have anything for for Pat's email corner? Pat's email corner? Pause for music?
00:01:15
Speaker
We don't have. Okay, maybe we have some. Who knows? We do have one from regular emailer Michael. ah her Our biggest emailing fan to date.
00:01:28
Speaker
Michael says, hey, Pat, tell Matt congratulations on getting the opening to the episode right. Michael's going to be so disappointed in us. ah Yeah, we haven't gotten it right since, have we?
00:01:41
Speaker
Shit. Okay. Well, thanks, Michael. And that's Pat's email corner. Alright, well, Pat, how was your week? Did you do anything X-Men related? I'm going to answer those as separate questions.
00:01:56
Speaker
Number one, my week was pretty good. ah Number two, sort of. I sort of did something X-Men related this week. Whoa, okay. Matt, do you remember, and this is just, I did some reminiscing and went down a bit of a rabbit hole myself.
00:02:11
Speaker
Do you remember Canada Wolverine? He was cosplayer that we both fell in love with around like 2013, 2014 on Instagram.
00:02:23
Speaker
Yeah, and then I think he passed away at like early COVID. He did. Yeah, he passed away in 2021, which was unfortunate. But i was just thinking about like, he popped into my head, i went to his Instagram and just looked through some old posts, really want to just appreciate this man, a guy who was in Canada and had his photograph taken and everywhere as Wolverine. And he had the hair better than I've seen any cosplay, like it was so natural.
00:02:53
Speaker
So I hope he doesn't mind us mentioning that we always admired him and were honestly too intimidated to invite him on one of our comedy shows. We really wanted to and never had the courage to.
00:03:06
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. i don't I don't know anything about this man, but I loved his passion for it. One of the things that I loved so much about Canada Wolverine was that he seemed to take the whole endeavor just very seriously.
00:03:21
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Which was... Rules. And I don't, like, it wasn't a time where that was profitable. This is before you could make money for being popular online. He was just doing it for the love of the game. And he, like, yeah, he was very passionate about it.
00:03:36
Speaker
He really did his research. And he was always doing collabs. Yeah, yeah. This guy was hustling. And again, just for the love of the game. And I wonder, I always wondered what his hair looked like just as he walked around. I don't think i don't think he ever posted a picture of himself out out of costume.
00:03:54
Speaker
I haven't seen it. If he did, I don't think I would want to see it. Right. I want to remember him as Wolverine. You know, that's ah that's a very X-Men-y week for you. It is. yes' a Yeah, it's a thing I thought about.
X-Men on TV: Destination X
00:04:06
Speaker
I also, there's a commercial for a new show, Destination X, which is very exciting. I did not know they were making a new X-Men show. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is playing some sort of madman. He's kidnapping people and leaving them in places that presumably are mutants. They're not revealing much about it. So I'm very excited to to start watching it.
00:04:29
Speaker
What channel's that on? NBC. They love the X-Men over on NBC. So check that out. Destination X. It's a brand new X-Men show.
00:04:41
Speaker
Maybe they'll sponsor us.
00:04:45
Speaker
Pretty good ad for you. Matt, did you do anything X-Men related this week? I wish I had. I didn't. I don't think I did. i't i didn't look at any particularly interesting X-Men Instagrams. I didn't see any new X-Men shows.
Genetics and Anthropology Discussion
00:05:01
Speaker
I'm sorry. It's getting tougher, right, to find X-Men related things that we did this week that aren't just reading the X-Men. Well, I'll say this. Okay, i I did one X-Men related thing this week. i have i'm getting I'm a step closer to my anthropology degree, much like Bolivar Trask.
00:05:18
Speaker
Yes. How about it? I'm in my last semester. What was Moira McTaggart's major? Biology, I'm guessing? Was it biology? It was not anthropology? No, it couldn't possibly have been anthropology.
00:05:31
Speaker
ah Genetics. She worked in genetics. Genetics. You would have to have a you'd have to have a biology degree to work in genetics. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. She's probably had chemistry. Maybe if she worked in genetics, she probably had some sort of anthropology training, too.
00:05:49
Speaker
Right. Like she probably took like evolution courses. ah Yeah, you have to understand how it interacts with or how it's affected by you culture, right? Or no, maybe that's the the defining thing about genetics is that it's not impacted by by culture.
00:06:03
Speaker
Correct. Who knows? The world may never know. i guess you could be socially selected. i guess social factors would lead into like, if they kill everybody who's born with red hair before those people get to breed...
00:06:18
Speaker
then you're going to affect the genetics of people's hair color. Sure. Yeah. The social impact on genetics, just from survival standpoint.
00:06:30
Speaker
Yeah. Well, also just like who gets to breed. Right. And we're not encouraging any anyone to do this. no This is eugenics. And we do not embrace that on this podcast.
X-Men Issue 58: Mutants and Sentinels
00:06:41
Speaker
Pat. Yeah. You know what I did this week, though? You just talked about it. I read roughly five issues of the X-Men. Oh. I'm sorry you had such a tough time with it.
00:06:53
Speaker
I roughly read five issues of the X-Men. I was in a jeep. And I wondered if you wanted me to tell you about issue 58, Mission Murder!
00:07:05
Speaker
I do. I'll tell you, I think I read this one too, but I would love to ah to hear your thoughts on it. Okay. Yeah, that's good. I'm going to just describe. I don't think I could tell you my thoughts unless I describe the entire plot. Give me a brief review refresh my memory on what happens in 58.
00:07:20
Speaker
Okay, we'll do. This was released on May 13th, 1969. It is edited by Stan Lee, written by Roy Thomas, art by Neil Adams, our boy, inked by Tom Palmer, lettered by Artie Simak.
00:07:38
Speaker
All right, everybody sit back, grab yourselves grab yourself as a drink. A lot happens in this issue. Yeah, this one's packed. I kind of think reading this issue would take about the same amount of time as me describing it, but it's better when I describe it, so just listen.
00:07:55
Speaker
Last issue ended with Beast and Iceman sitting in Scott Summers' ah apartment watching a news report while a robot figure lurked outside watching them. A moment later, at the start of this issue, a newly forged sentinel bursts in, grabbing Beast with its tentacles.
00:08:13
Speaker
In an amazing two-page spread, scattered shots of the TV news broadcast that ah Bobby and Hank were watching... They give us the backstory while in frantic panels slicing across both pages, Bobby and Hank fight for their lives against an emotionless rampaging sentinel.
00:08:32
Speaker
We learn. Yeah. Sorry. This is breathtaking. these It's so good. opening spread and then this two-page spread of diagonal panels with the newscaster. This is like 10 years before Frank Miller is really making a name for himself. They're doing what Frank Miller did to make a name for himself. This is...
00:08:56
Speaker
Uh, this is an incredible adjustment. Sorry. I'm in awe. I don't know if that's clear. No, I mean, it's, it's, it's really good. i you see, and the fight has a logic from one panel to the other, you know, in the first panel, beast snaps the cable that's holding him in the next panel. Iceman freezes the hand with, and you could see where the cable was snapped off on the sentinel's hand. Then he smashes through the ice and, uh,
00:09:26
Speaker
you know, chase his Iceman and then hits him with steam out of his fingers. It's really, and all the while, Bobby and Hank aren't talking. They're not narrating what they're doing. Right.
00:09:37
Speaker
They are just fighting for their lives. The, you know, Larry Trask is on TV. yelling about how much he hates mutants and it's giving you either through analogy or just like him directly describing what the Sentinels can do. It's showing what's happening in the, or it's describing what's happening in the panels.
00:10:01
Speaker
So good. It's really it's really it's really good. So we learn through the news broadcasts that Larry Trask, son of the late anthropologist Bolivar Trask, who invented the Sentinels and died at their hand way back in issues 14 through 16, has continued his father's work, fueled by a desire for revenge against the X-Men and all mutants.
00:10:25
Speaker
With the authority of a single U.S. judge, Judge Chalmers, Trask has unleashed these Sentinels on mutants worldwide, and to prevent his father's mistake, he's created a helmet that allows him to mental allows him mental control over the Sentinel's actions.
00:10:41
Speaker
Bobby retrieves a communication device and throws it to Beast, freezing the tentacles that hold him, allowing Beast to smash the brittle cables and escape. Staying behind to hold the Sentinel off, Iceman urges Hank to go and call the other X-Men.
00:10:56
Speaker
So he does, just as Iceman is hauled off into the sky by the Sentinel. Guys, that's the first, I guess that's the first six pages. Yeah, there's still a whole lot to go.
00:11:06
Speaker
And it just moves, man. um Scott, Gene, and Angel receive the call in Egypt where they're still looking for a missing Alex Summers. Incensed by the capture of Iceman, Warren decides he's going to fly all the way back to Manhattan from Egypt hip despite Scott and Gene's protests.
00:11:22
Speaker
On his way home, he gets caught in a net, of course, by two Sentinels as Scott and Gene watch Helpless from a speeding jet carrying home. Scott says the Sentinels will make mincemeat of you.
00:11:34
Speaker
Nobody respects Warren's abilities. And with good reason, he gets caught within. Sorry, you keep going. no he does. You're right. Before he makes him cross the ocean, he gets caught in a net. The thing he gets caught in, oh he still hasn't come up with a solution to nets.
00:11:48
Speaker
Everybody knows. and he Net. Just throw a net at this guy. As he's being caught, he's like, some kind of steel net? He's surprised by it every time.
00:12:00
Speaker
He doesn't hardly even hate them. He's just, he's confounded by them, which is probably why he keeps flying directly into them. at At Trask's new Sentinel base, Iceman has been depowered for a number of hours by some kind of steam bath.
00:12:16
Speaker
Judge Chalmers is getting cold feet, so Trask releases Bobby to show how he will instantly had attack him. This demonstrates on camera Trask's thesis,
00:12:27
Speaker
that all mutants are inherently violent and dangerous. A depowered Bobby is then tossed into a cell where Lorna Dane is unconscious and another man in a jet black costume and a horrible mask, like helmet hat thing is standing.
00:12:43
Speaker
That man is Alex Summers, now known by... Havoc. Havoc! Havoc's here. Should've gone with danger. Should've gone with...
00:12:55
Speaker
oh Weird hat. mean No, that's not good. You're right. You should have gone with danger. This is the thing. I cut away to look at his hat to see if I could in some way describe it.
00:13:10
Speaker
You know, like I feel like how would. OK, describe Havoc's hat. i was I was trying to prepare myself to answer this question, Matt. I don't think I can. It is three bands of metal coming off his forehead. if we consider like the If we draw a line from ear to ear and consider that our starting line, I would say 60 degrees, degrees,
00:13:37
Speaker
120 degrees coming off if is centered on his forehead. If it is is his face is a clock, the the bands are at 12 o'clock, 10 o'clock, and 2 o'clock. Just like driving a car. It reminds me of the path that electrons and protons take around a, the nucleus of an atom.
00:13:54
Speaker
Right. But cut in half. Right. Yes. In reality, he has taken three metal, like just like strips of metal and bended them back over his head.
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah. Floating in the air above his head. Okay. Anyway, it is, it's a device um His costume was acquired in a deal made by made made with Larry Trask to control his chaotic powers.
00:14:22
Speaker
As he and Bobby argue about this deal, a sentinel peeks in like a child into a dollhouse and grabs Lorna. Realizing Trask's treachery, Trask's treachery, Trask's treachery, Trask's treachery, Havoc lets loose and fucks the sentinel right up in a spectacular display of power.
00:14:42
Speaker
A moment later, however, he falls to the ground powerless due to a gem in his bad hat that Trask controls with a little laser gun. Havoc is worried that his powerlessness will repower Professor Abdel, the living monolith, once again, but Trask just laughs.
00:14:59
Speaker
He doesn't believe in the living monolith. Cut to Egypt, where Abdel is trying to convince a boardroom to kill the X-Men when he feels the monolith power flowing back into him.
00:15:10
Speaker
He begins to monologue, like he like he loves to do, when two sentinels cover him in goo, blocking him from his cosmic rays, leaving him helpless on the floor. i Matt, I hate to keep interrupting recap here, but he what presumably this is just the board of the college that he works at that he's trying to sell on killing the X-Men.
00:15:31
Speaker
yeah I don't know. He's at the head of the table and there's a bunch of other guys in like fezes around the table. Well, yeah. it's it's egypt that's In the 60s, that's how you identified somebody as being from Egypt. Yeah.
00:15:48
Speaker
And they're all just, yeah, they're just sitting in a boardroom and he's like, we've got to destroy the X-Men! and And the rest of them are like, this is not reasonable for us. And then he he starts to grow and monologue and then he gets covered in goo.
00:16:02
Speaker
Now he looks like the fucking jerk-off guy from Pompeii.
00:16:09
Speaker
That picture is plastered all over our notes. If anyone hasn't seen it, there's a man... there's a man that as Pompeii was getting covered in lava and ash, presumably, alright, there's some scientific explanation that makes this less fun, They're trying to cover it up.
00:16:31
Speaker
It looks like he was like, I'm about to die anyway, I'm gonna lay back and start jerking it. And then he got frozen in that position. So I took in a lecture once and I can't credit the person because I would never remember who they are, but they did talk about, yeah, that specific picture is pretty debatable. You could say that like some scientists have a dug into it and said, no, this is not actually a man j and o but that might be just trying to calm, calm the crowds down about it. um Right. But,
00:17:09
Speaker
Regardless, Pompeii was apparently ah haven for debauchery.
Pompeii and X-Men: A Historical Dive
00:17:16
Speaker
The things that they have uncovered that are very definitively exploring sexuality in very unique and seemingly fun ways.
00:17:28
Speaker
Was that the place where there was... Was Pompeii the one where there was penis... mosaics all over the town. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And it's unknown whether that was directing people to brothels or whether it was just funny or whether it had something to do with like fertility or they don't know.
00:17:49
Speaker
Yeah, but there were penises everywhere in Pompeii, like just as decorations. You'd be walking around Pompeii. you could count pet You could go on a penis scavenger hunt.
00:18:01
Speaker
And fill your fill your little stone tablet. Yeah, yeah. So let's get back to Trask. He's continuing to round up mutants like Mesmero in the Mutant City, who is confused why only one sentinel was sent for both him and the supremely powerful Magneto. That doesn't make sense.
00:18:18
Speaker
Fearing for his life, Mesmero cowers behind Magneto, only to see him smashed to bits. Because, I guess, Magneto was a robot the whole time.
00:18:30
Speaker
What the hell, man? What the fuck? Yeah, it doesn't make... Who made the robot? who Why did this robot falsely declare himself Lorna's father? Right.
00:18:41
Speaker
And how did this robot do magnet stuff? Maybe he's been a robot the whole time. And this is the end of Magneto. Magneto the android. Secret android.
00:18:52
Speaker
And if we ever see a Magneto again in the comics, which we probably won't, but if we ever see a Magneto again, it's like a completely new guy that we've never seen before. Watch the Sentinel smash him to bits. In my opinion, Magneto is finally dead.
00:19:06
Speaker
So, uh, Mesmero basically starts crying about how he never actually knew Magneto, and the Sentinels pick him up by the cape like a total dork. At Trask's base, the Sentinels keep warning of a mutant in their vicinity, which is hard to detect, but Trask assumes it's just Beast who he's prepared for.
00:19:25
Speaker
and rushes off to meet a visiting Judge Chalmers. When Chalmers sees that Trask has been keeping the mutants in stasis tubes, he begins to beg Trask to reconsider. Trask tearfully tells the story of his father's death and recounts that, on his last day alive, Bolivar gave his son an amulet and told him to never, ever take it off under any circumstances, which I'm sure is not foreshadowing, just a sweet little moment.
00:19:51
Speaker
Just then motherfucking Banshee bursts in, Pat. He
00:20:00
Speaker
just appears, shattering a fucking sentinel with his sonic scream. All screams are sonic, but just as quickly gets himself incapacitated by another sentinel. Fuming with anger at the attack, Trask orders the Sentinels to round up and kill all mutants within the area, which makes Chalmers punch this nerd in the face and rip his stupid amulet off.
00:20:22
Speaker
Immediately, Trask is grabbed by Sentinel, and it is revealed that the nearby mutant presence was himself! Whoa.
00:20:33
Speaker
Did you see that coming? Uh, no. Honestly did not. I was so taken by Chalmers, Judge Chalmers, just wailing on this guy. just Yeah, just a big fucking sucker punch. Which needed to be done. This guy was ranting. It is straight up hate speech. Like, it is a little disturbing to read through just because it's so...
00:21:00
Speaker
It's taken straight from and racist manifestos. Right. It's very reminiscent of, I think, the Nazis' attitude towards Jews. I think that's a big source for their...
00:21:15
Speaker
hate material here and just the general like propaganda plan to, um, to expose mutants violent killers. Right. Even to the extent that he sets them up, he sets Bobby up.
00:21:29
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Like, Hey, I just did something horrible to this guy. If I turn on the cameras now and this guy comes and attacks me, it'll look like he's just of like engaging in a random act of violence.
00:21:44
Speaker
It's kind of a cop out that he gets hit in the head real hard. And then he's like, oh, I've been a racist all this time. know. For shame. For like the next two issues, he's like, oh, I never wanted to kill mutants.
00:21:59
Speaker
Yes, you did. You just said it. I think he's using that and as as an excuse. At some point he's like, oh, I'm in way too deep here, but I think I have to kill them.
00:22:11
Speaker
ah The Sentinels themselves, they look amazing, right? They... Yes. They looked kind of dorky back in the Kirby days, right? Except for the butts.
00:22:23
Speaker
They were blocky. They had beautiful butts. And they had vaguely vaguely humanoid faces. And those faces just look so scary and cold and emotionless.
00:22:34
Speaker
The Sentinels look gigantic. Well, sometimes... There's still a little bit. Neil Adams is incredible. But there's still some of these moments where you're like that.
00:22:45
Speaker
that That one sentinel was like five times the size of all the other people. This other sentinel is like fitting through a doorway. ah Yeah, kind of. I mean, we were saying it last episode, but he's kind of he's not as concerned about the realism here. He's concerned like he is using scale to build intimidation and it doesn't have to be realistic.
00:23:09
Speaker
How cool was it when Banshee appeared? Very cool. I did not know he was going to pop up because yeah like when they're like, oh yeah, we have these 10 mutants all rounded up in tubes, you're like, okay, they've got, I guess, all the mutants. And then yeah Banshee just pops in and i yeah love that every time we see him, this seems to be his...
00:23:34
Speaker
MO is like he is living his life. He's smoking his tobacco pipe and popping in whenever things get real bad for the X-Men. Right.
00:23:44
Speaker
One more thing that's pretty intimidating about these Sentinels. i They've got quips now. ah Yeah. They are talking back to the X-Men.
00:23:54
Speaker
Yeah. yeah A Sentinel's trying to kidnap Hank and Hank says, you better tell your friend Trask that he's out of his mind. And the Sentinel says, you can inform him yourself as he goes to knock Hank out and kidnap him and take him to Trask.
00:24:11
Speaker
That's for a level ah for a soulless Android. That's a level of wit that didn't need to be programmed in there. Though it'd be less impressive if that was just Trask saying it through the helmet.
00:24:25
Speaker
and sweet That's true. We don't know for certain it's not. It's unclear which is the Sentinel and which Trask controlling the Sentinel. here's Here's the thing that makes them a little less intimidating. And I kind of mentioned it already, but you know what I tuned in for.
Sentinels: Character and Story Design
00:24:42
Speaker
cake and there is none on these sentinels they do have skinny little legs like they are yeah they look more like track stars than i shot putters that's true that's true but the x-men look buff as hell throughout the whole issue yes you get a lot of you get shirtless bobby you get like bobby in his underwear oh de-iced several times And his boobies.
00:25:08
Speaker
Yeah, if you get a close-up of ah his butt as he crawls towards Lorna. You get a few good shots of Warren. thing Neil Adams is doing really well is um accenting the muscles that he assumes you would use to fly. So when Warren is like in flight, you see those muscles being flexed and you see the that he has.
00:25:31
Speaker
They do look... at that he has right they do look Big as hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. they've gotten They've gotten bigger.
00:25:42
Speaker
So, this it needless to say, this issue is great. Yes. I mean, there's some ridiculous shit about it because it's X-Men, but... Very few complaints about this one. I mean, I still do not understand why they had to do that with Magneto. They could have just captured him, right?
00:25:59
Speaker
we I don't understand where you're coming from with that. Why did the writers need to make Magneto into an android? yeah. And retconned out that whole story. Like, why? Why?
00:26:13
Speaker
i think we'll find out in a couple issues why they didn't want him to be ah where he is wow that's I mean, that's a good point, but you could have just left him out of it.
00:26:24
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. we's Let's talk about that more when we when we see when we get there. but Get where?
00:26:31
Speaker
we Get to a surprise. Oh, okay. I mean, I love surprises. yeah ah do you want to Wait till you see this one. i One last note I want to make about this that I think was important.
00:26:43
Speaker
Okay. The editors or the narrator, the narrator refers to Lorna as Bobby's mutant girl space friend.
00:26:56
Speaker
Very intentionally not putting girlfriend in there. Just a subtle touch that will pay off. Perhaps in issue 59, or die.
00:27:07
Speaker
do or die You got me. you always gary What almost got you what? when Somebody has edited the titles that I put down in these notes.
00:27:20
Speaker
I don't think issue 59 is called Do or Die, Bitch.
00:27:28
Speaker
think that's what it says in the comic. Hold on. let me Let me look. It says Do or Die. Oh.
00:27:36
Speaker
What does it actually say? Because now I can't remember the real title. It's Do or Die, Baby. Do or die, baby. ah Released June 17th, 1969. Cover date, August 1969. We are in the summer of 69. Yeah. Isn't that exciting, Matt?
00:27:56
Speaker
I guess. Do you want to pull up the Wikipedia for summer of 69 and we can read through it? No, no, no. I i remember all about summer of 69. It's when I got my first real sixth string. There you go. Yeah, that summer.
00:28:09
Speaker
Edited by Stan Lee. mean, I did. played it till my fingers bled. You knew this. Anything else you want to mention about the summer? No, no, no. I just want to say I just I will all I wanted to do is tell you like I had a band and we tried real hard.
00:28:23
Speaker
Yeah, it was the summer of 69. That summer seemed to last forever. This issue with my life credits. Stanley is editor. Roy Thomas is scripter. Neil Adams is artist. Tom Palmer is embellisher, which I assume means anchor and Sam Rosen as letterer.
00:28:41
Speaker
Okay. Opening up the issue, we have Beast, Marvel Girl, and Cyclops together again, having just located the secret Sentinel base using a mini Cerebro.
00:28:52
Speaker
Though Beast realizes at the last moment that the blip appeared too suddenly and it must have been a trap. Their ship explodes and the three plummet to Earth. ah Scott devises a plan to save them all by directing Jean on how to use her telekinesis. But because of no time for that now, Hank and Jean think he's allowing Hank to die.
00:29:10
Speaker
But he's not. They all live yeah inside the base. Trask is trying to argue with the Sentinels, but learns from Judge Chalmers that he's always been a mutant with the power to tell the future.
00:29:21
Speaker
When Larry foretold his mother's death, his father Bolivar fashioned the amulet to suppress his mutant ability and hide him. Now that the Sentinels know that he's a mutant, they won't listen to him and will only carry out his last order.
00:29:35
Speaker
Kill all mutants. Across the world. I'm sorry, but they've, yeah, we'll get to it. Across the world.
00:29:46
Speaker
The Sentinels have captured Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Toad. Okay. You don't have to call me out like this, Pat. Yes, you're right. Fine. Yes. Toad's in this issue.
00:29:57
Speaker
I was wrong. There's one more appearance of Toad. It's fine. Literally an appearance. They don't give him a line. He doesn't have a single line. Okay.
00:30:08
Speaker
Go ahead. i Toad, Unus, Blob, and Mastermind and are in the process of transporting all these mutants as they see an incredibly powerful presence right on top of them.
00:30:21
Speaker
They're too late, though, as Cyclops, Gene, and Beast have just skirted the cliff face and broken into the far side of the lab. the sentinels they The sentinel they discover there, unprepared for their powers, gets straight up murked with a cool combination of their powers and devastating optic blast.
00:30:38
Speaker
As they wrap up, they find that another sentinel is bringing Quicksilver Toad and Scarlet Witch in a big green floppy jet that looks like a manta ray. That's true. its more like a lady Or like a lady's hat, maybe.
00:30:51
Speaker
Yeah, it's like a yeah like a hot dog cut in half with little feet on it.
00:30:59
Speaker
The X-Men sneak in and Cyclops tells the Brotherhood folks that he has a plan. Moments later, the Sentinel checks in on his prisoners and bam, Toad rocks the dude in the fucking face because it's not Toad. It's Beast. Scott apparently made them all get naked and switch clothes so no one would be prepared for the damn X-Men.
00:31:20
Speaker
That scene, the scene that we don't see, where Scott says, hey, we have a plan. No time for that now. Take all of your clothes off. Yes. just As he's stripping, because he's already got the plan and he knows there's time that. Yeah, already working it out.
00:31:37
Speaker
his, his, like, dick and butter out, and he's like, get your clothes off, Scarlet Witch and Toad. Imagine Toad naked. Yeah.
00:31:50
Speaker
I bet he's rocking something real impressive down there. No, it's got to be weird, right? Like the way that his skin hangs off his body, I have to imagine, does that everywhere. And yeah, maybe he's got a big dick if that's... Oh, it's just like a big rocking boner with skin... When it's fully hard, there's skin just like hanging from it.
00:32:08
Speaker
Like a chicken's waddle. Yes. Yes.
00:32:15
Speaker
Or like the floppy neck of a brontosaurus? You know how that skin just kind of like hangs off of its neck? is that Is that real? Is that what happens with brontosaurus? are you doing like a Jack Kirby interpretation of a brontosaurus? Okay, I'm not... I just pulled up a brontosaurus and it doesn't have the floppy skin.
00:32:37
Speaker
i swear I've seen a picture of brontosaurus the skin was kind of hanging. Yeah.
00:32:45
Speaker
okay Okay, Matt. I swear I saw you. You gotta believe me. I...
00:32:53
Speaker
ha Dressed as Scarlet Witch, Toad, and Quicksilver, i respectively, gene Hank, and Scott tear their way through a few Sentinels like real superheroes, eventually making their way to the stasis chambers.
00:33:09
Speaker
Meanwhile, Trask has been locked in a stasis chamber himself and it has a future vision of Havoc dying. Not wanting mutant blood on his conscience what at this point, I guess, he tries to...
00:33:23
Speaker
What does he mean? he does. was his whole thing. Okay, go ahead. No, he doesn't anymore. he's He tries to give Judge Chalmers a little gun that he has on a table using his eyes and then guides him to havoc. Chalmers is like, no, dude, I'm not going to shoot this guy, but eventually gets it and uses this little device to deactivate the crystal on Alex's forehead.
00:33:47
Speaker
Then... He leaps in front of a sentinel burst and gets blasted to save Cyclops. Cyclops frees Havoc and then Havoc blasts some sentinel to robot hell. The sentinels are all having a crisis of conscience themselves because they killed a human man.
00:34:02
Speaker
Cyclops takes advantage of this to confuse them even more and literally convinces them to fly into the fucking sun. It is... gods what flawless logic that's how he defeats he defeats them we're gonna we're gonna talk about this but yeah since mutants are created by radiation he convinces the sentinels to find the source of all radiation and destroy it the sentinels think for a moment go oh that's the sun and i'll go die in space but trying to defeat the sun
X-Men Issue 59 Summary
00:34:35
Speaker
Meanwhile, Havoc had built up too much energy and had to run off to explode, which buried him in rubble, and now the X-Men need a doctor. So they call a guy called Lycos, who's calmly talking to them on the phone while he seemingly kills a man with a strange device.
00:34:52
Speaker
So this... This issue, much like the last issue, kicked ass until these last, like, two panels, which I also still kind of kick ass, but they are so bizarre.
00:35:04
Speaker
What happens is you say, because this isn't what I wrote in the summary, you say that Chalmers jumps in front of the Sentinel Blast to save Cyclops.
00:35:19
Speaker
I don't know The Cyclops was unprepared. He's facing it. He's ready to blast. And Judge Schalmers is just like, no, blast me. ah Sure. Try not to pull back the crouton, Matt.
00:35:32
Speaker
That happens. Then all the Sentinels are upset. So, okay. Man, seemingly for no reason, jumps in front of a blast. The Sentinels are so all start talking to themselves about how they're, why did we do this?
00:35:48
Speaker
Then Cyclops is like, yeah, why did you do it? And also you should go fight the sun. And they say, okay, fly off into the sun. And then Havoc is going, have too much and runs off to explode. He's like, I'm going to go explode for a second.
00:36:05
Speaker
And then they call a doctor on the phone. Yeah, they just call up a doctor. Like this is how this really epic two part story ends. With this series of absolutely absurd moments.
00:36:20
Speaker
Can i Okay, so... Here's why I think this works. Because... the Sentinels... Are using... in insane logic.
00:36:33
Speaker
i They are, I think, once again... Overwhelmed by bureaucracy. Where... have... they have rebelled against their commander. theyve They've mutinied because they found out that their commander was a mutant.
00:36:51
Speaker
So the only thing they're capable of doing, this is how they explain it, is following the final order of the commander that they just mutinied against.
00:37:04
Speaker
That's... There's no reason to do it. if you What yeah command are you releasing yourself of if that's... so I think when Scott is like, well, logically, i you don't want to kill us. You want to go after the source and they yeah decide on the sun.
00:37:25
Speaker
that's That seems like in their very flawed robot logic, right the right step to take. I think yeah it works out because they're just not that bright.
00:37:36
Speaker
Okay. Well, Pat, I have a question for you. okay Did we evolve into human beings because of the sun?
00:37:49
Speaker
Yes.
00:37:54
Speaker
I'm sure it played some part. you're Okay, you're right. If we didn't have the sun, we would have evolved into something that was... Vampires. Yeah, capable of seeing in the dark.
00:38:04
Speaker
Or something that was ah capable of withstanding very cold temperatures. Or capable of not eating, because all energy comes from the sun. But...
00:38:18
Speaker
The sun didn't alter our RNA. Sure. Sure. sure But, well, okay, so here's here's where i got a little scared when Scott specifically says, i you know, mutants are created by radiation. You want to go destroy the source, the prime source of radiation on Earth.
00:38:44
Speaker
Right. I thought they were going to go start attacking nuclear power plants. Right. I thought Scott took a huge gamble by just hoping they settled on something that would destroy them and only them.
00:38:59
Speaker
Right. Like they could have just gone and destroyed. they could have just blown up all the nuclear bombs and nuclear power plants. And they could have just destroyed. They could have. Right. Just created an apocalypse.
00:39:12
Speaker
Yeah. Instead. So do you know who takes credit for this plot point?
00:39:20
Speaker
Uh, no. At the time, Chris Claremont, future what writer of the X-Men, was an intern at Marvel. And he claims, I think it was in that documentary. Oh, it might have been on Jay and Miles explain the X-Men, their interview with him.
00:39:38
Speaker
But anyway, he has claimed in interviews that he was just like an intern kicking around and some people were discussing this moment. And it was him who suggested Cyclops gambit.
00:39:54
Speaker
Okay. I mean, it's it does seem... So this happens in the last couple of pages. It seems like they really needed an out yeah that could take place in a just a few panels.
00:40:10
Speaker
And Claremont does do crazy bullshit like that all the time. Yeah, that's fair. he's He goes pretty extreme sometimes. Yes, and comes up with these really convoluted, like, logical reasons for people to do the craziest thing you've ever heard. They also, just before we get too far from ah this sentinel logic problem...
00:40:36
Speaker
The X-Men breach the facility, run into a Sentinel, and that Sentinel goes, what do I do? I'm not equipped for a Cyclops. Like, what?
00:40:48
Speaker
You don't even try? yeah yeah dies it just lets itself die yeah and i mean it's like oh i'm not equipped for these guys one of them just hits a bunch all that's all beast does he just hits a lot yeah yeah are you not equipped for oh i'm not a small man hitting and like if if that sentinel ran into me and you He's like, oh, i'm I'm equipped for super speed.
00:41:14
Speaker
i'm i can I'm defenseless against these two middle-aged overweight men.
00:41:23
Speaker
That being said, the plan, Cyclops' plan here is actually pretty solid. Understanding that they are all tailored to a specific mutant power and...
00:41:37
Speaker
are rendered helpless against others. It's, yeah, it's so funny because they're just running down the halls and a set sentinels will be like, ah, I know these costumes.
00:41:50
Speaker
I'm prepared for super speed and ah probability altering. And then it's telekinesis and optic beams. And they're like, what? Yeah, yet it's telekinesis. Yeah.
00:42:04
Speaker
There is a really dope panel, though, of Jean dressed as Scarlet Witch using her telekinesis. And it's in like i vibrant ah psychedelic technicolor.
00:42:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Neil Adams continues to play with yeah what psychic and telekinetic manifestations should look like to... yeah he he is He's making it very clear just through his drawing that this isn't actually happening. like Nobody's seeing this happen. i am yeah doing this to illustrate to you that there is a force being used here.
00:42:39
Speaker
Right, right, right. Also, gotta love Cyclops running around in Quicksilver's outfit.
00:42:49
Speaker
It's so... It kind of suits him. its It looks good on him. it's it is skin tight, like even tighter than his normal costume, which, look, Scott's got the the body to pull it off.
00:43:02
Speaker
Yeah. i And also we're seeing the visor and that beautiful head of hair. Yeah. ah Together for the first time. It's really ah it's a good look.
00:43:19
Speaker
He's got a beautiful head of hair. He's got a really good head of hair. Hey, Pat. Yeah. Who's your favorite Sentinel?
00:43:30
Speaker
Is it C6? Is it C7? There's one that they just keep calling number two. it it it no Is it number two? Is that your favorite?
00:43:44
Speaker
Number two is i he's he's intimidating. He's the big boss. Seems to be the new master mold, just in the sense that he's the one everyone has to check with before they can do it their jobs. I like to go for an underdog. i'm i'm I'm a big fan of C6, who got out of his weird little melting turtle looking...
00:44:11
Speaker
fucking hover car and left his, uh, prisoners alone and then came back and was like, Oh, everything's fine here. And then just gets absolutely beaten to hell. not at prison He's, he does, he has an internal monologue about what he should do and whether it's logically makes more sense to leave his prisoners alone.
00:44:36
Speaker
i Or and investigate whatever threat or to stay by them. I like to imagine at least, I don' like to imagine C6 just got knocked out.
Favorite Sentinel Characters
00:44:47
Speaker
And so when everybody flies off to their death, he's just laying there. And eventually gets up. He's like, well what happened? I like to think number two is one of the original Sentinels left over from when they all just had numbers.
00:45:03
Speaker
Yeah. And they're depending on his experience. Yeah.
00:45:09
Speaker
I never told you to follow me. You guys made me a leader. Just like says Scott's exact. so yeah Yeah. We get a real good ah Roy Thomasism here, which is one of the Sentinels saying, observe the monotron.
00:45:30
Speaker
Why does it a tron? It can just be a monitor.
00:45:36
Speaker
Oh, man. you know That scene, though. and Why did they not do Toad this way? That scene where... So... I also don't really get this.
00:45:48
Speaker
They put on weighted boots. Yeah. So that Toad couldn't jump. But somehow, when Beast puts them on himself, he can still just, like, bounce around and shit.
00:46:01
Speaker
Well, logically...
00:46:05
Speaker
As it should be. hans power doesn't come from his feet. It comes from his thighs and his core. it Are they suggesting that Toad's leaping power is in his toes?
00:46:19
Speaker
He's got no muscles. Like, that's what it seems like they're saying. He's got no muscles. His legs just spring, guess. there It's not about muscles.
00:46:32
Speaker
It's... not about muscles that The only reason Toad's able to to to leap the way he does is because he weighs 16 pounds. He's got hollow, spongy, springy bones.
00:46:46
Speaker
hu And no organs. But when Beast leaps out of this, ah you know... Nickelodeon ooze car.
00:47:00
Speaker
he He just like grabs the top of it and swings his feet up. And it it's like that would be cool if Toad did it. Yeah.
00:47:11
Speaker
Well, Toad as a rule cannot be cool. Toad cannot do actually anything.
00:47:19
Speaker
ah One cool thing. i this I'm being serious about this. okay ah In the last issue in
00:47:28
Speaker
we get a few shots of the X-Men doing something, right? they They're traveling in a plane. They're climbing ah cliff wall. It's all through. It's i Gene, Scott, and Hank. It's all through the Sentinels monotrons that they're watching this happen.
00:47:46
Speaker
And then and we get to this issue and we see these things happen. And it's like, it's a sort of a different take. Like it's not shot for shot, the same thing happening, but, These ah two issues are kind of running concurrently for a little while where we're seeing the Sentinel side of it and then the Gene, Scott, and Hank side of it.
00:48:06
Speaker
Just a neat little detail that they ah very deliberately included. That is cool. It's cool that they're making choices, I think. that's That's the thing that's making these issues really stand out, is that there are there are very deliberate choices being made.
00:48:24
Speaker
They're thinking through what would be cool and doing it, rather than just, I gotta knock out another one of these fucking X-Men issues. Yeah, yeah. the yeah They are in it. And we'll talk about this a little later, but Roy Thomas...
00:48:41
Speaker
a gets it these days yeah absolutely so now what we're left with is this question Carl Lycos who's that yeah what was he freaking doing what do you want to know who Carl Lycos is I guess.
00:49:03
Speaker
Well, then we will have to check out issue 60 in the shadow of Sauron. Released July 15th, 1969. Edited by Stan Lee. Written by Roy Thomas.
00:49:15
Speaker
Drawn by Neil Adams. Inked by Tom Palmer. Lettered by Sam Rosen. We open on the same man we saw at the end of last issue, Dr. Lycos. Menacing over an unconscious man.
00:49:28
Speaker
and seemingly absorbing some sort of life force out of him. We cut to the aftermath of last issue Sentinel Battle. ah Superintendent Chalmers. Sorry, Judge Chalmers.
00:49:41
Speaker
is us A little joke in the recap notes there. Hey, thanks. ah Is assuring ah Scott he'll keep Trask and the evil mutants under control, and he promises not to kill them.
00:49:54
Speaker
He's got ah the medallion back on. Everything will be fine. Scott and the X-Men steal a floppy manta jet and head out for Dr. Lycos as fast as possible. He's a physician.
00:50:06
Speaker
He's an old colleague of Professor Xavier's.
00:50:10
Speaker
We can trust this man. He's just finishing up an appointment with another patient who is thrilled with the easing of his pain after undergoing Lycos' hypnosis therapy treatment. He says, i don't know what you're doing to me, but it's sure curing that hypertension of mine.
00:50:27
Speaker
The X-Men leave Alex with the doctor being told they cannot wait around and must much must return much later that night to pick him up. With the whole old team around, remember, the X-Men are technically broken up right now.
00:50:44
Speaker
ah Scott and Jean return to the mansion to check things out. Lorna has joined them. Classic Danger Room hijinks ensue with Lorna even in even getting in on the action.
00:50:55
Speaker
It's kind of like... the boys are doing danger room stuff and the girls are like pranking them from the side. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. It's, uh, it is, it really is hearkening back to like the early expat issues where they're just for a half the issue goofing off in the danger room. And then somebody gets hurt.
00:51:17
Speaker
Right. Like try to put beast and anaphylactic shock over his, uh, his sawdust allergy, sawdust allergy. That's what it was. Back at Dr. Lycos' office, Alex is unconscious while the doctor fights some vague internal moral battle that leads him to recount a defining core memory.
00:51:36
Speaker
As a child, he and his father, as well as Herr Anderson... Matt, that's German for Mr. Anderson.
00:51:46
Speaker
these are This is Fast Facts with Pat. And his daughter, Tanya, are trekking through the mountain range of Tierra del Fuego, which is apparently in, like, way south, ah South America near Antarctica.
00:52:01
Speaker
Ant-arctica.
00:52:05
Speaker
Tanya goes missing. Lycos goes to find her and runs into pterodactyls! He battles them, gets pretty scratched up in the process, but rescues Tanya. He becomes very ill and has the worst nightmares of his life. He pets his dog...
00:52:18
Speaker
but he finds himself absorbing that dog's life energy. Suddenly, he's feeling much better. He continued living his life, just occasionally stealing the life force of an injured person.
00:52:30
Speaker
He falls in love with Tanya, but Herr Anderson bans Tanya from ever seeing him again, because Lycos was not a rich man. Back to the present, Lycos reveals that he was just using Xavier to get access to mutants, believing them to be the key Huh? No, I what you're thinking. He can talk wear pants, though. It's okay.
00:52:51
Speaker
he absorbs alex's power and suddenly transforms into a podactl himself no i know what you're thinking he could still talk and wear pants though it's okay Oh, okay.
00:53:04
Speaker
He decides that in this form he must choose to be good or evil, and he chooses evil. He decides to name himself Sauron, remembering the embodiment of evil in Lord of the Rings.
00:53:17
Speaker
He drops... He name-drops J.R.R. Tolkien here and says that that's where he's getting... Like, how close are you getting to a lawsuit?
00:53:29
Speaker
Maybe that's what avoids the lawsuit. It's because you say... This is homage. I'm doing, I, Sauron, am naming myself Sauron in homage to the famous character Sauron. In the fiction, ah yes, I am reading about Sauron.
00:53:48
Speaker
I'm inspired by Sauron.
00:53:52
Speaker
it's It's funny to think that a there was a time before the i Lord of the Rings renaissance that they've experienced in the last 20 years that you could probably ask a kid who Sauron was and they're like, oh, he's the pterodactyl from
Sauron and Tolkien's Influence
00:54:09
Speaker
the X-Men.
00:54:09
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's what I would have said as a kid. Yeah, very sad. Back at the X-Mansion, the gang sees on the news that a Birdman is...
00:54:21
Speaker
doing something unclear and that this must be some sort of mutant causing trouble this enrages warren who despite scott's urges to lay low until he has lowered on mutants a bit changes into his old avenging angel costume and flies off to confront this bird he quickly finds sauron dashing in for a fight but then discovers some sort of horror in sauron's eyes to be continued
00:54:53
Speaker
what he sorry can I just, i can I yeah add a little clarity to what happened at the end here? Mm-hmm. Um...
00:55:05
Speaker
Sauron says, i see that you can fly and you're very strong, but just look into my eyes. That's all I need to defeat you. And Warren says, okay sure, mister. I've, I'm sure looking into your eyes is going to be a huge problem. Oh my God, your eyes, your eyes.
00:55:32
Speaker
yeah
00:55:35
Speaker
Pretty classic. Yeah. he I mean, it's Angel, right? So he's like, yeah, sure. I'll just look into your eyes. And then, course, he gets his head. He just loses every fucking fight, man. and narr this The same as when he narrated his own drowning.
00:55:58
Speaker
um Pat, what's the first few words of this podcast? ah issue.
00:56:07
Speaker
Is this is this a Holy Hannah thing, Matt? I am trying to move past that. It is not a Holy Hannah thing. The first few words of this issue. i Is it, what is the sound of evil?
00:56:23
Speaker
Is that a The Joe Rogan podcast. Hey, yo. Is it is it Marilyn Manson?
00:56:35
Speaker
It's ah is it Rob Rob Zombie? Oh, that guy loves evil. Yeah, that guy. Yeah. You seen his movies? It's pretty fucked up.
00:56:49
Speaker
He does that shit. I saw it's just movies and I was like, what the fuck? ah the and
00:56:56
Speaker
It's like, I can't believe he's doing this. I was like, this is a documentary? And my buddy was like, no. i was like Still fucked up. I was like, that's... Dude, this is the most blood I ever saw in a movie. This rules.
00:57:16
Speaker
And my friend was like, you can't watch that much blood. And I watched all of it. I loved it, even though there weren't dragons. I closed my eyes ah only a little bit.
00:57:27
Speaker
I usually watch dragon movies, but I'll also watch a Rob Zombie movie. Do you know? i Here's what I love about fucking Carl Lycos being friends with Professor X. They both worked on Project Mutant together.
00:57:44
Speaker
Yes. Which is like, that is, this is just how Professor X names things. Like, Scott, do plan H for hit the hit them hit the guy. Hit the villain.
00:57:58
Speaker
Plan H. I'm surprised he didn't name it Project M. But also, what is this project for? um just They're just a couple of dudes.
00:58:10
Speaker
What were they working on? Yeah. Just a doctor and just a guy. A former ah South American liberator. I do have a friend who recently quit his job to, and this is all he'll reveal about it, build robots.
00:58:30
Speaker
he is He's like a a marketing executive type, and he was like, you know what, I've had enough of this, I'm going to...
00:58:43
Speaker
build robots. And so that's what I picture here is he and a friend of his both quit their jobs to start a robot company. And i that's what I imagine these guys doing.
00:58:56
Speaker
i I have a weirdly a similar story. I dated a woman months ago who claimed that she was working on research to prove that everything was energy.
00:59:13
Speaker
And then she was going to go travel the country to meet with different scientists to talk about how everything was energy. Just the, like... yeah I don't want to sound off on someone that you dated, but that is the that is the first rung on the le on the ladder of wooshy, goofy, yeah spiritual stuff. like you It was very... i'm I'm abstracting it a little bit because I don't want to actually embarrass this person, but ah it is it is definitely like...
00:59:49
Speaker
um
00:59:52
Speaker
When you are in high school and read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance or something for the first time and you're like, I just figured it all out. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:04
Speaker
Like when your friend tells you about quantum mechanics and you don't actually know anything about quantum mechanics. Yeah. that is what I picture Carl Lycos and Professor X doing.
01:00:15
Speaker
Like they're just sitting around just writing papers, and paper after paper about like, and I bet they can like shoot beams and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And you have to picture they're both, it's the 50s. They're both huge nerds. They probably dress like Eugene from Greece.
01:00:33
Speaker
And that like without any research, they're just, they draw like the drawing genetic structures on a piece of paper. And then one of them just like draws a random line that goes off to nowhere.
01:00:44
Speaker
And the other one's like, oh. They haven't discovered the double helix yet.
01:00:53
Speaker
I don't know if that's actually true. um Hang on, let's look that up. We looked this up already, Pat. When was the double helix discovered?
01:01:07
Speaker
February 1953. So if this is
01:01:15
Speaker
more than 10 years before he started the X-Men, then yeah, they're yeah operating without. So they're looking at the double helix.
01:01:26
Speaker
It would make more sense that they started this after the double helix was invented. Yes. They're looking at the double helix. They're looking at a drawing of the double helix and professor X or Carl Laikos, either one, one of them reaches up and erases ah the T on one strand of taurine and writes X and both of them sit back and they're like,
01:01:52
Speaker
Okay, so there's some cool stuff about this issue. Number one, Lorna Dane joins the X-Men. And her powers are back. Full power, full blast. There was one panel where we found out that her powers were fading.
01:02:07
Speaker
But I guess we're not going to revisit that. No, no, it's all fixed. Number when... number number two ah when They are at at the beginning when it's like, oh, what happened to all the mutants?
01:02:23
Speaker
I guess it's not the beginning. of A couple pages in. What happened to all the mutants at the Sentinel base? um They mentioned specifically no changeling.
01:02:35
Speaker
Yes. That's interesting, isn't it? yeah would see they thought he was an alien. no No. one No. He answered to an alien. Yes.
01:02:47
Speaker
Yeah, you're right. You're right. Remember in that final fight, he disappeared he kind of just disappeared. They made some sort of reference to, oh, and Changeling got arrested too or whatever.
01:02:58
Speaker
Yeah. They took care of him off screen. Yes. We never saw him ah again. this i i guess that's interesting. Why is he not here? i didn't even think about it until they mentioned it. So it it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
01:03:12
Speaker
At some point, they're talking about doctors Cyclops says, ah you've been watching too much Ben Casey. I looked up Ben Casey. It's not interesting. So did I. Yeah, it is not interesting at all. not even going to Google it yourself if you want to learn about it. That is the last thing we'll say about Ben Casey on this damn show.
01:03:32
Speaker
Here's something else fascinating. We find out that Judge Chalmers' name is R.C. Chalmers. Here's another cool thing about this disease issue, Pat. Yeah, hit me. So Neil Adams has said that Sauron was supposed to be... They wanted to do a vampire issue.
01:03:52
Speaker
Yes, because his his hunger... Like, his hunger to steal the life force of others to restore himself is very, yeah like, vampire legend-y.
01:04:04
Speaker
Right. The Comic Code Authority... at the time, would not allow vampires. It wouldn't allow vampires, wouldn't allow zombies. I think it wouldn't allow, like, werewolves.
01:04:15
Speaker
Nah, maybe it did allow werewolves. No, nowhere wish no Fascists, no werewolves. here it is. Scenes dealing or instruments associated with walking dead, torture, vampires or vampirism, ghouls.
01:04:28
Speaker
Cannibalism. Cannibalism. And Pat, no werewolfism.
01:04:35
Speaker
That's fucked up. The werewolf thing. Like, that's not a satanic thing. that's i know. I don't know. That's such a pure... Yeah. Is it even pagan in nature? its You can do a were... were... were pterodactyl energy zombie.
01:04:52
Speaker
That's it. Matt, the word wereodactyl.
01:04:58
Speaker
That is cool though. That just, uh, it is so reminiscent of a vampire. And then to say, okay, we can't use a vampire. Let's go. Pterodactyl.
01:05:12
Speaker
Okay. Those are the cool things about this issue. Here's some weird things about this issue. Okay. There is.
01:05:23
Speaker
Okay. How. What's his name? Uh, R.C. Chalmers wraps up the Trask situation as he says, he doesn't remember he's a mutant and he can never know again because if he does, it will put him into such a state of shock.
01:05:44
Speaker
It might put him at risk for schizophrenia.
01:05:51
Speaker
The, okay, if we're following the metaphor here, Pat. Yeah. Yeah. This is like saying we can't ever tell him that one of his parents is, but to follow your metaphor from last time, we can't ever tell him that one of his parents is Jewish.
01:06:09
Speaker
If he finds out that one of his parents is Jewish, he's going to go fucking crazy and lose his whole mind.
01:06:18
Speaker
is I guess it kind of depends on the d his state of mind at this point, right? Does he still hate mutants? And if he finds out, like, if you are ah neo-Nazi and you find out that one parent is Jewish, that's going cause an existential crisis.
01:06:37
Speaker
Right. It's not going to so drive you to schizophrenia. Yeah.
01:06:45
Speaker
ah Yeah, probably not. That's this exact scenario. That's this exact scenario. There are definitely some deep misunderstandings of schizophrenia at this time.
01:07:01
Speaker
No, it is very strange. And yeah, it would be... i you would probably be a shock to me if I found out that ah one of the many races that I hate...
01:07:14
Speaker
was i actually the race of one of my parents. it It really disturbs me that you didn't laugh when I said one of the many races that I hate. I need that.
01:07:25
Speaker
I need everyone to know that that's funny. Yeah, it's good. um
01:07:33
Speaker
Can we go back to the Chalmers situation, though? So, what Scott hu is like, listen, Judge Chalmers, I know that you are the government agent responsible for pushing Trask's agenda and allowing Sentinels to patrol the country round up mutants so that we can keep them in these stasis tubes. Yes, yeah.
01:08:01
Speaker
But... You're the best person to leave all these mutants with. ah Please take care of them. i really appreciate that you put the medallion that drove Trask to his murderous rage back on him ah to keep everyone safe.
01:08:21
Speaker
to keep everyone safe. Yeah. Even though when you removed it, he immediately stopped ranting about how evil mutants are and tried to stop the genocide that he was ah ah attempting to commit.
01:08:35
Speaker
It should be fine. It'll be fine. take care of these. Please don't hurt these mutants. It's cool. Just let him go or something. I don't know.
01:08:46
Speaker
Also, I know they these are all legitimate killers and thieves because we're letting the we're taking all the good ones with us. We're taking all the ones that should be in prison and leaving them with you. Don't hurt them.
01:08:57
Speaker
and And you're just like a guy. You're just like a guy who ah was really good at law school. You're a judge. You're a judge. You're not a senator. You're not somebody with...
01:09:12
Speaker
any sort of executive authority, so I'm sure you're best person to sort all this legal stuff out. I you don't have any weapons. I know that you don't have any guards. I know there's no police or army here.
01:09:27
Speaker
ah But just make sure the blob goes to jail, okay? The Sentinels all flew into the sun. I'm pretty sure. i was trying to watch them as long as I could, but it hurts to look into the sun.
01:09:41
Speaker
That's a good point. can Can Cyclops stare at the sun? Ooh. Because of his sick sunglasses? Yeah. His ruby quartz. Does ruby quartz... Or does he cut a little slit in them when there's an eclipse?
01:10:00
Speaker
you He drilled one tiny hole. There's just a little speck of optic blast coming out. So ah Warren Worthington is a real creep in this issue. And you meant to say that in these notes.
01:10:21
Speaker
I did. and What you wrote is, God, Warren is suck a dick. yeah and I see that now. Yeah. Pretty sure it's meant to say Warren is such a dick right now. I'm not sure.
01:10:38
Speaker
I'm not sure that it is. Why is he keep calling himself a Venge? Like, this is the second time he's done it. Stop! he's We just learned about this in the second stories of the last series of issues.
01:10:53
Speaker
Yeah. And now he won't stop doing it. Yeah, yeah. With all the times that he's abandoned the X-Men, that he's promised he's going to leave the X-Men, you're telling me that. He's never busted out this costume before and been like, you guys are calling me Avenging Angel now.
01:11:09
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:13
Speaker
But you can borrow the new car my parents sent me, but make sure that don't tell me what to do or I'm going to be Avenging Angel again. His parents did say Scott's like, a good thing Warren loaned us his, I think it's a Mustang or it's a muscle car.
01:11:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's some it's some muscle car that I've never heard of. It's like a Maverick or something. i don't A Maverick? um What, here's a question though. What happened to the Rolls Royce?
01:11:45
Speaker
Did Charles have it buried with him? did they, did ah Hank and Bobby sell it for drugs?
01:11:55
Speaker
Did they accidentally ride it off the pier?
01:12:02
Speaker
statistically it's most likely that they destroyed it somehow right yeah definitely definitely they destroy we didn't even mention this the uh the little ripoff fantastic car that they're riding around in gets destroyed every single plane that they they have gets destroyed so pat do we have anything else to say about this issue or do you want to tell me about Don't say it, because I do have one more thing to say about this. I do have a theory. So a little hard to follow Sauron's story here and why what happens happens, but I do have a theory.
01:12:37
Speaker
i I think he's a mutant. I think... So he seems to he appears to fall into the Savage Land, right? We saw the Savage Land way back in the the Stanley Jack Kirby run ah and gets attacked by these pterodactyls. He gets scratched up by them.
01:12:57
Speaker
He comes back and seemingly has a power. I don't think he developed like he caught a power from a pterodactyl. I don't think that's how this stuff works. I think he...
01:13:09
Speaker
Falls into the Savage Land, untouched land, still living in prehistoric times. You imagine there are prehistoric diseases there that humanity probably just doesn't have, the modern humanity doesn't have the immune system to deal with because we haven't seen these in okay hundreds of thousands of years.
01:13:31
Speaker
He contracts one of these when he ah gets scratched by a pterodactyl because it's just an open wound. It's going to happen. It works its way in very easily. Okay.
01:13:42
Speaker
He has the worst nightmares of his life, right? Which is just a very severe fever dream. His innate mutant power activates ah to save his life, which is...
01:13:59
Speaker
absorbing the life force of others because as soon as he accidentally does it to his dog, which is so heartbreaking, i he's better. He recovers from this strange virus. And we know, we know what we know that These sort of things happen a life-threatening situation, right? That... Happened to Lorna?
01:14:22
Speaker
Happened to Alex? Yeah. This is when you're going to manifest those powers when your body's fight-or-flight response recognizes that this is the very last option.
01:14:35
Speaker
Okay. But why does he turn into a fucking pterodactyl, Pat? So... That is because he caught pterodactyl. Okay. Okay, so anybody who gets scratched by a pterodactyl turns into a pterodactyl.
01:14:48
Speaker
A wearodactyl. They don't all get to suck energy off of people. Yes, yeah, I think that's his mutant power. That and the hypno-eyes, that seems to be innate too, but so I guess that just comes later.
01:15:03
Speaker
Here's why I'm excited about you telling us about the next issue. Because at the end of this issue... ah It says next, the icy grip of death, which is yeah something your parents should probably warn you about when you're a kid.
01:15:22
Speaker
All right. Can lower sensation, can lower can lower your sensitivity later in life. that's You're suggesting that teenagers are sticking their hands in the freezer before they do this?
01:15:33
Speaker
I'm just saying try a loose grip.
01:15:37
Speaker
All right, Matt. i your Your plan to get me to move on to the next issue is success. but i Issue 61, Monsters Also Weep.
01:15:51
Speaker
Release date, August 12th, 1969. Cover date, October 1969. Matt, we are still in the summer of 69. This is post-Woodstock, though, right? This release, Woodstock, was July Yeah, I mean, me and some, me and the boy, I can't remember the lyrics. Fuck, I wish I'd left the tab open.
01:16:10
Speaker
What do you, like what do you remember from Woodstock, Matt? Oh, man. Were you in that mud? yeah It was the, look, it was the worst night of my life.
01:16:21
Speaker
Everybody else around me was having fun. i ate a bad gummy bear. i was so sick. I was so sick. Not a weed gummy bear, just a spoiled gummy bear. I was so sick, and I could hear everybody having so much fun, and they were playing on that stage. could barely hear because I was so sick. I had to cover my little ears.
01:16:45
Speaker
everybody Everybody assumed you were covered in mud, but you were really just covered in your own sick. Yeah, it was well, I rolled around in the mud to try and get the sick, because they didn't have water around.
01:16:57
Speaker
Right. Wash off. So I would roll around in the mud like a pig. it was the worst It was the worst weekend of my life. Well, and then you picked up X-Men issue 61, Monsters Also Weep.
01:17:13
Speaker
that was the only good part of the summer of 69 for me.
X-Men Issue 61: Monsters Also Weep
01:17:17
Speaker
Edited by Stan Lee, written by Roy Thomas, ah drawn by Neil Adams, inked by Tom Palmer, lettered by Sam Rosen. You know, the crew, ah boy Warren, in what?
01:17:30
Speaker
Our boys are boys. our boys Warren is fighting for his life. He's in an aerial battle with three flying bug or lizard demons.
01:17:43
Speaker
Or is he? He soon realizes that these are illusions. And after some fancy physical and mental maneuvering, he's able to dispel the visions. Pat, but he says, he says, oh, I thought Soren was bad, but this 1,000 times worse.
01:18:02
Speaker
So, like a bird with three beaks to him is 1,000 times worse. Well, it's one of three. So I guess it's 333 times worse image of the Each individual lizard, bird, demon figure 330 times worse. worse than a man who can suck my energy out and give me hallucinations with his eyes and also is a pterodactyl.
01:18:31
Speaker
A bird with three beaks is 333 times worse than that. He's grappling with all of this, Matt, but... It's just the start of his problems in real life.
01:18:42
Speaker
He's still locked in combat with Sauron far above the earth. And those visions were the result of Sauron's powerful hypnosis eyes. The X-Men show up to assist trading blows and mental blasts until Sauron feels his powers begin to fade. He quickly hypnotizes Warren again and commands, commands him to grab him.
01:19:05
Speaker
keep him from falling to the ground and fly him back to his office all before the rest of the X-Men can see his transformation back into Dr. Lycos. That moment is also very funny because the X-Men are talking to themselves. They're like...
01:19:21
Speaker
What? What's he doing? This is strange. Something's got into Warren. And Warren yells back, nothing's got into me. I'm fine. it was just Okay. Well, we were talking amongst. No. This is embarrassing.
01:19:34
Speaker
This is embarrassing. We were talking amongst ourselves. I guess you could hear. ah really didn't think you could hear that. Nothing has happened to me. Back at his office, Dr. Lycos' childhood love, Tanya, has returned.
01:19:51
Speaker
She had a premonition that something was terribly wrong, came back to check on and confess her forbidden love for her childhood hero. At this very moment, the X-Men return to pick up Alex, who is coming to and feels fantastic.
01:20:05
Speaker
No one suspects that Lycos is also Sauron, the beast they were just fighting. Who else shows up at that very moment but Herr Anderson, Tanya's father. Yeah. ah In English, that's Mr. Anderson.
01:20:22
Speaker
Thank you. Sorry, I didn't mean to. i so I speak a little German, so it gets it just comes out naturally sometimes. Herr Anderson has forbidden Tanya to marry Lycos due to his being poor. He just doesn't come from a rich family.
01:20:38
Speaker
They argue it gets really heated. Hair Anderson demands that Tanya leave and never come back to Lycos. And she tearfully complies. The X-Men stand around and watch all of this unfold without any shame.
01:20:53
Speaker
so weird. Which seems to, after they leave, drive Lycos further into his madness.
01:21:02
Speaker
Back at the mansion. Yeah. Back at the mansion, Lorna explains that Warren just flew back in through the window and has been catatonic ever since.
01:21:12
Speaker
But as soon as Scott mentions taking him to Dr. Lycos, Warren becomes hysterical and tries to run away. Hank slaps the shit out of him, knocks him out cold.
01:21:24
Speaker
Glad someone finally did it. Yeah. The X-Men go to find Dr. Lycos while Alex and Lorna hang back to go through Xavier's old notes on Lycos for some reason, where they discover that he's actually a non-mutant variant. Non-mutant variant. An old note of Xavier's.
01:21:42
Speaker
Yeah, what the fuck? yeah I think my mutant theory still stands. i think that this is him fucking around in the 50s before he understood anything about mutants. they were just They were just making up mutant stuff. Yeah, yeah.
01:21:53
Speaker
This one's a mutant. This one's a non-mutant variant.
01:21:59
Speaker
ah At that same very moment, though, Mykos breaks in and zaps Lorna's life force, transforming himself back into Sauron. He says it's because she's monologuing to herself and mentioned she's a mutant. Yeah, he's like, thank you very much for mentioning to no one in particular that you're a mutant.
01:22:18
Speaker
That's exactly what I'm looking for. Yeah. Sauron immediately flies right back to Hare Anderson and Tanya, who are terrified at first, but then recognize the voice as Lycosyst.
01:22:31
Speaker
I hadn't pictured that. And I know who Sauron is. I've seen him in several comics. I always put a strange voice to him like, I i i'm i choose evil. ah it' Instead, it's like, I choose evil.
01:22:45
Speaker
Right. Right. Like, um ah hey, yeah beware my mighty claws. Yes. this I am Sauron.
01:22:58
Speaker
So we're back Harry Anderson and Tanya's hotel room. Sauron is getting very menacing when the X-Men appear somehow now aware that Sauron is Lycos. It's very unclear how they learned this, but Somewhere between the journey to his office and then to the hotel here, they figure it out.
01:23:19
Speaker
They prevent him from murdering Harry Anderson, at which point Sauron starts questioning his morals and wondering if evil was the right choice to make. Huh? I wonder. He flies off to think. i He has just enough juice to fly himself back to the spot where he rescued Tanya as a child before transforming back into the humble doctor like ghosts.
01:23:42
Speaker
He does some serious introspection and comes to the conclusion that he needs to die but as the only way to quench his thirst for life forces. but But actually, that's pretty good. it's Yeah, that's it's a noble choice. It seems like he has reverted and isn't going to go with evil.
01:24:00
Speaker
My initial reaction was to laugh, but it's like, it's actually kind of a touching ah moment. Not that funny. Well, it's funny when he tries to run off the cliff as soon as Tanya shows up. She knew where he would go.
01:24:13
Speaker
Lycos warns her to stay away before he's overcome with the hunger for her life force. He finds himself trying or toying with the idea of just zapping her life force.
01:24:26
Speaker
Tanya runs after him as he runs off the cliff. Lycos does jump off. Tanya tries to follow, but she is stopped by an ice shield. The X-Men have followed her here.
01:24:38
Speaker
Save her, but could not save Lycos. Wow. Because he because he he made he did decided to do evil. he He was like, oh, hmm.
01:24:51
Speaker
Do good or do evil. I, I've committed to evil, but was that the right choice? Morally? i can't decide between do good or do evil. Yeah, you're just a confused, angry man. Yeah, well.
01:25:08
Speaker
Okay, Pat. That's who we're dealing with here.
Sauron's Moral Struggle
01:25:11
Speaker
Pat, what I want to know about Sauron. What was the deal with his with his messenger? but Okay, so last issue, ah when he becomes Sauron, he's wearing a messenger bag, which it never gets used, never gets referenced. Oh, yeah. But this issue, just like somewhere in the middle of his fight, the messenger bag just disappears.
01:25:33
Speaker
Then it's gone. Yeah. Yeah, he lost his messenger bag. You can't fight very effectively with a messenger bag on. that's That is impediment for sure.
01:25:44
Speaker
What did he have in it? i Documents. A folder. mr ah this is all my These are all my patient's files. I've lost all my paperwork. Oh, this is a major HIPAA violation. ah every All my paperwork is scattered across New York. My taxes. God.
01:26:04
Speaker
There's another... So this calls back to something earlier in the episode. There is an extremely awkward moment for Bobby where Alex says, me and Lorna will hang back and look through professors Professor old notes to see if we can find any clues.
01:26:22
Speaker
And Bobby said, that better that better be all you're doing with my chick. Which... ah is questionable in itself but then Lorna says uh I'm not your chick are you under the impression whoops um and I'll tell you that drives her right into Alex's arms they're developing guys she has the hots for Alex a little she said something about it she's like why does he make my heart pound yeah
01:26:53
Speaker
I mean, he's the summers, you know? is Yeah, it start summers are fucking hot. Yeah, they're good stock. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I mean, entire family trade. Like, the Corsair is the dad.
01:27:05
Speaker
Cable is the kid. Right. Like, bunch of hotties. They keep that head of hair well into their old age, too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also, i love when when Angel figures out that he's hallucinating those, the thousand times worse hallucinations. He jumps, he's like, somebody must be using mirrors.
01:27:25
Speaker
What? You're in the You're a thousand feet above the ground. Yeah, he just was like looking to my eyes. Then immediately you started hallucinating.
01:27:36
Speaker
There's also- Oh no, he did mirrors at me. is Do you remember how he figures out that it's a hallucination? ah That it didn't, he doesn't get scratched. Yeah, he gets he gets hit by one of them and it doesn't affect him. So if this were a real fight- He's so used to getting his act. It's like, oh, um that's usually very painful. It happens a lot. I would know.
01:27:57
Speaker
And then his plan, here's here's just here's why he loses every fight. He's like, oh, I'm pretty sure these are some sort of hallucination. Let me fly directly into one of their mouths to prove it.
01:28:10
Speaker
That's so it's so true. That like is his plan every time. yeah Let me fly directly at it. It's fine. glad he got slapped that was here's satisfying here's this thing about lorna right is she joined the x-men several issues ago she said yeah it's like my my home is with the x-men and they're like okay lorna you can you can come join us and then they go out on missions while she stays home and literally make sandwiches yes then well you have magnetic powers so you're probably pretty handy in the kitchen right
01:28:47
Speaker
Jean does it with her telekinesis all the time. She's like, ah yeah you know, I can help, like, superhero stuff. ah You know, did you clean out the fireplaces yet?
01:29:01
Speaker
No? Okay, well, why don't you take care of that? And then maybe we can talk about superhero stuff. yeah Yeah, I'll tell you what. Why don't you help Alex look through notes? Because like he's really sick. You know, he needs his rest.
01:29:15
Speaker
And, you know, also if you If you get a chance, there's some laundry to be folded. We're not saying you have to. It's just it would be really big help because, you know, we're out saving the day and you're staying home. Okay.
01:29:27
Speaker
Well, we have one more issue here, Pat.
Angel's Antarctic Adventure
01:29:30
Speaker
Would you love to hear about it or hate to hear about it? I'd be fine with it. right. Well, I'll tell you this. It released on September 16th, 1969. No the summer of 69.
01:29:41
Speaker
no longer the summer of sixty nine It was the fall of 69. Technically, we're five days away from the fall of 69. Technically, we have five days left in the summer of 69. It's issue number 62, Strangers in a Savage Land. Edited by Stan Lee, written by Roy Thomas, penciled by Neil Adams, inked by Tom Palmer, lettered by Sam Rosen.
01:30:03
Speaker
Last we saw Warren Worthington III, he was passed out on a couch in the X-Mansion, remember? Right, yeah. But now, suddenly, he's flying around in an Arctic wasteland, fighting pterodactyls. What? Antarctic wasteland, I guess.
01:30:21
Speaker
One good knock to the head, an angel falls into the Antarctic Canyon as he flashes back to the past few hours. I guess we'll find out. After waking up on his couch and conferring with Alex and Lorna, he decides to go after Carl Lycos.
01:30:34
Speaker
Arriving at Lycos' office, he finds only the aggrieved father of Lycos' would-be fiancée, Tanya. Herr Anderson, you might know him as. Mr. Anderson.
01:30:46
Speaker
I guess he flies south. ah He finds Tanya. I guess he finds her the moment after the X-Men left, and she doesn't say anything about it. ah But anyway, so he does that. Then he loses a fight with dinosaur birds and then plummets through some rocky hole in the ground into some kind of jungle.
01:31:04
Speaker
His body is then found by some kind of frog man wearing a metal harness and his white haired boss. Yes. Who declares that Angel is dead.
01:31:15
Speaker
This is the moment I knew this was going to be a good issue, Matt. We have a freaky little frog man and some strange silver-haired man, and they are both wearing cybernetics.
01:31:27
Speaker
Also, your favorite thing... angel Angel's like like actually dead now. Yeah, Angel dead. Perfect. Angel dead. All right. Let's move on from him. Great, great start. Meanwhile, the rest of the X-Men are also in some kind of jungle fighting a T-Rex that's only marginally better than Jack Kirby's. Cyclops blasts him in the fucking mouth, but is suddenly snatched away by the big hunky arm of Kesar. Oof.
01:31:56
Speaker
The X-Men are in the savage land, Patrick. We are back. We're back, baby. My little crush, Kesar. Kesar, no time for it now. That now's the gang, which leads to a pretty brutal but short fight in which Kesar backhands Iceman and knocks the shit out of Beast.
01:32:15
Speaker
He and his pet saber-toothed tiger, Zabu, then run away to continue their ah mission, whatever it was, which turns out to be spying on some weird idiot and a group of swamp savages. Hey, Pat.
01:32:27
Speaker
Yeah. Can you describe this weird idiot's costume for me? Yes, Matt. So imagine a cloth diaper that that has like shoulder straps on it. And that's how it's held up.
01:32:42
Speaker
Right? And now that you're picturing that, picture it pink. Okay. And then wrap a purple utility belt around not your waist, not your hips, but like where your kidneys are.
01:32:55
Speaker
Okay, all right. Add a cape. Okay. The shoulders of that purple cape should be almost like flower petals, like giant flower petals in your head. It's the... ah What's the center of a flower called?
01:33:10
Speaker
Stamen. And your head is the stamen. Is that the... That's the inside part of the flower where the pollen... I don't... Yeah, I think so. i We're not geneticists. We're not... We're no Carl Lycos.
01:33:22
Speaker
yeah And then to top it off... Imagine, ah you know, when you see a knight without his helmet on and he's got like a chainmail.
01:33:33
Speaker
hauberk? was Sort of a cowl. hauberk? I don't know that word. Oh, maybe that's the that's the that's the shirt part. I don't know what the top part A hauberk? Like the weapon?
01:33:46
Speaker
No, hauberk. That's... Hauberk. You're making that up. Hauberk. Anyway, stop shouting Hallberg at me. Hallberg. I guess they just called a cowl. it's Yeah, it looks like a cowl that is unattached, like as if it's taped to his bald head.
01:34:01
Speaker
And it's got a widow's peak forming on his forehead. What color is this? Pink. The cowl is also pink.
01:34:12
Speaker
So all of it's pink. He is entirely pink and purple. And then he's got strange blue hypno eyes. All right. All right. So that's what do you want to call this guy before we because I just call an idiot in this thing, but I don't want to keep saying that word. So like what what what word would you give him?
01:34:28
Speaker
i I mean, he's a swamp savage. So. like Very Mark. OK, so. ah Seeing that they have captured some of the tribe of water people, Kesar leaps from the tree and clocks Mark in the face.
01:34:45
Speaker
Mark uses some kind of hypnotic power to make Kezar dizzy and the swamp people tackle him. But before things get too rough, the X-Men arrive to save him. woo Meanwhile, that white-haired man from earlier has been putting Angel's body in a cryogenic chamber in his lab.
01:35:01
Speaker
Also, by the way,
Savage Land and Magneto's Revelation
01:35:03
Speaker
is in the Savage. They're in the Savage Land too. He is attempting to bring Angel back to life from the cellular level upwards. Wally ponders if he can do it, the frogman and a gang of weird freakos all cheer him on. After a few moments, Angel wakes up wearing a brand new costume.
01:35:21
Speaker
Yeah, they must have undressed him and redressed him while he was unconscious. No one mentions it. Yeah, yeah. Just then, Mark from earlier runs in and is apparently named Equilibrious, so we can get rid of Mark. Oh, I missed that.
01:35:37
Speaker
he was apparently out leading the army of swamp men on the white haired man's orders. When he describes the attackers, the white haired man seems to instantly know that they were the X-Men.
01:35:48
Speaker
This makes Angel suspicious, but because the man saved his life, Angel pledges his service to him, even against the X-Men. Fucking Angel. Kesar allows one of the swamp men to flee and begins to hint that the act to the X-Men that something bad is going on in the Savage Land.
01:36:06
Speaker
As they run... somewhat This is the one problem with Neil Adams and Roy Thomas is that a lot of times people are just like being active in a way we have no idea why.
01:36:17
Speaker
Yeah. like don't Nobody says it's just people are running in a direction and we're just supposed to assume they know where they're going. so as they run somewhere, they hear a man. playing a set of pan pipes.
01:36:30
Speaker
This summons a big red monster from the waters of like what it looks like a hot spring looks like ah a series of tide pools that are steaming like a hot spring. The X-Men fight it while Kezar grabs the piper and shoves the pan pipes into his mouth causing the big monster run away.
01:36:47
Speaker
Back at the lab, the white-haired man introduces Angel to his band of savage land mutants, is what he calls them. ah Gaza, the blind a giant who can see mentally.
01:37:00
Speaker
Amphibious, the little freaky frog man. Yeah. Barbarous, who has four arms. Lupo, who I guess talks to animals. Unclear. And then Brainchild, which I wrote Brian Child.
01:37:15
Speaker
Which is 11. Brainchild's a big baby man who's good with computers. And Piper, who for some reason isn't there at the moment. Angel tells them he can talk to the... ah Tells the white-haired man and everyone, he's like, I can go talk to the X-Men.
01:37:30
Speaker
We can figure out a peace deal. And Kesar, they're all friends of mine. can figure out a peace deal. It's fine. So he flies off only to leave the white haired man to smile that his plan is all coming together and tap his familiar looking helmet.
01:37:46
Speaker
The helmet of Magneto. Whoa. whoa
01:37:55
Speaker
So this is why he couldn't be a robot, I guess. ah Right. He's been in the savage land. So this makes it immediately clear, right? That Roy Thomas and Neil Adams were just like, yeah okay, let's toss away this other Magneto plot.
01:38:11
Speaker
This wasn't him because he's been in the Savage Land. right to Which I love that they kind of plant that to issues earlier. They say, surprise, this wasn't Magneto at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah and now here's their reason for it.
01:38:30
Speaker
I mean, they could have just had Magneto get away from the Sentinel. Whatever. It's it's very strange. it's a very Or just have him not be there. Just have it just be Mesmero. And Mesmero's saying, like, Magneto left.
01:38:43
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Magneto hasn't been here in months. I wonder where my my leader, Magneto, has been. it's There's also, so we mentioned that ks are that the X-Men, of course, attack Kesar just for being rude to them.
01:38:59
Speaker
Right. Because it's... Kesar tells them to be quiet. Yeah, so they... You you must keep silent. And Cyclops says, what's wrong? Are we keeping your dinosaurs awake? Right. Fuck yeah, Scott. What a good line. That is pretty... That's a good zinger.
01:39:18
Speaker
ah But then he points at them and he's like, no, take this seriously. And Bobby says, don't point at me and freezes his hand. But... Kesar has been thinking about this. Clearly the X-Men haven't thought about Kesar since they left the Savage Land years ago.
01:39:34
Speaker
Kesar has been thinking about this every day since because as soon as the X-Men attack him, he's like, knock it off. And he just slaps Bobby. He backhands Bobby so hard. it like knocks him down.
01:39:50
Speaker
He's prepared for Hank's attack. like he is he is measuring Hank's velocity and just throws a quick fist out to bounce him backwards. Knows that Hank will recover quickly and has Zabu, his saber-toothed tiger, right there to make sure Hank stays on the ground. like he is say a he's He has planned for this moment for the last three years. He's like, how am I?
01:40:13
Speaker
I'm going to meet those guys again. I just know it. And here's exactly how I'm going to kick the shit out of them. Those nosy little pricks. I know they'll be back. ah You know the first step of his plan was to knock Warren down, too?
01:40:26
Speaker
Because, like, that's everybody's first step. And he's probably a little pissed that Warren's not there. And he's like, fuck, I had a perfect plan to throw a rock at that winged guy. I made a net just for this.
01:40:40
Speaker
I keep a net on me at all times. His one weakness. ah Speaking of the last time the X-Men were in the Savage Land, Matt, we see the Swamp Savages...
01:40:52
Speaker
Yeah. Where's Magor the Killer, King of the Mayonnaise?
01:40:58
Speaker
Is he okay? You know, he calls himself King of the Mayonnaise, but sometimes the mayonnaise is king of you. Ooh, sometimes the mayonnaise is spoiled.
01:41:09
Speaker
Yeah, he's got he's got to stay home. he's got he's Magor the Killer's got to stay home today. Yeah. Sorry I can't go out with you.
01:41:20
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Sorry, swamp savages. I wish I could go out and kidnap a kidnap a water people with you, but I got a little bit of tummy troubles.
01:41:34
Speaker
Mogor the killer tummy hurt. Ha ha ha!
01:41:39
Speaker
Magor the killer need lay down. Magor the killer need ginger ale.
01:41:49
Speaker
Bring Magor Tums. i We get some good replacements for him, though. We get ah Amphibious.
01:42:00
Speaker
I really like the Piper. You know that guy's a little freak. He's spindly. I can't wait to learn more about these little freaks in the next if the next issue. I'm sure we will, right? Next episode.
01:42:13
Speaker
There's no way they introduce us to five little freaks and then they're not like all over the place next issue. The X-Men are going to just slam these guys They're going to absolutely kill them. Kezar's there. Kezar's got to punch these little freaks in their little freak faces, right? Like there's no way it doesn't happen. Glistening muscular body. bet Zabu eats one.
01:42:35
Speaker
I hope he eats the little frog man. Yeah, the little frog man's little frog legs sticking out of Zabu's mouth. Also, Equilibrious. Yeah.
01:42:46
Speaker
Instant laisor league loser league candidate, right? Absolutely. He's got Hypno-Eyes and he can't use them to his advantage. He can't. He hasn't been a... He didn't. He just had to run away.
01:43:00
Speaker
Why is he wearing that diaper thing? What is he doing? yeah but what is this outfit, man? You know, and none of the other little freaks look like that. So he made that outfit himself.
01:43:12
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. The rest of them were just wearing, like, cybernetic enhancements. Yeah, yeah. And like he's like, no, no, no. I got it. I've got adult cloth diaper. How do I dye shit? How do I dye something pink in the savage plant? You guys got any, like, berries or... Hibiscus. Yeah.
01:43:35
Speaker
Let me talk about how fucked up what Cyclops does to that T-Rex is. He, instead of just blasting him, instead of just getting it over with, he blasts him in the mouth, ah mentions that he'll need dental work because he just blew all his teeth out.
01:43:58
Speaker
What, dental work? You don't have to say blast him in the mouth like that with that tone of voice. How would you describe it? What does he do? No, I'm saying those words are fine. Cyclops blasted him in the mouth. But what you said was, he blasts him in the mouth.
01:44:11
Speaker
Like, what? You don't have to say it that Okay, fine. Cyclops blasts him in the mouth. That we prefer. Anyway, ah knocks all his teeth out.
01:44:25
Speaker
This is a T-Rex. He's so fucked up. he's He acts like he's doing him a kindness by not killing him. You have damned this T-Rex to death by starvation.
01:44:36
Speaker
he Yeah, this T-Rex is going to starve to death. He's so anti-science.
01:44:45
Speaker
remember when he just started shooting pterodactyls out of the sky as soon as he saw them? Yeah, yeah. This guy hates dinosaurs. This guy hates dinosaurs. This guy hates dinosaurs. He only wants to torture them.
01:44:59
Speaker
Fuck this issue was good, dude. Fuck these issues were so good. Every one of these issues was fucking good, man. Yeah, yeah. These were killer. This twist ending, too. it It legitimately got me. I did not see...
01:45:15
Speaker
the return of Magneto in the Savage Land coming. And good on Roy Thomas, right? For not, this is how it ends.
01:45:28
Speaker
Magneto is walking around, i like walking around monologuing to himself after, after Angel leaves. And he doesn't say, he'll never suspect that i the man who saved his life, is truly Magneto. Like, he doesn't say that.
01:45:43
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. He just walks over, puts his hand on his helmet, and says, perhaps it is true that what the true what they say. Perhaps clothes do make the man. Fuck yes, Roy Thomas. It's so subtle.
01:45:58
Speaker
You did it for once in your little life. For once in your watching in your life. Pretty long life. Yeah, pretty long and pretty accomplished life. Once in your big impressive life. For once in your big impressive life, Roy Thomas, you held back and you were like, okay, this is all I need.
01:46:23
Speaker
Yeah. he is is... And this is sort of just ah along the whole run. I think we talked about this last episode, but he is letting... neil adams he is letting neil adams art work yes which he never did before yeah yeah he was always he i'm sure we've complained about this to death but he used to just fill entire panels with redundant useless dialogue and he even does this at the beginning of this series of issues right like the sentinel bursts in and bobby has to say
01:47:00
Speaker
Oh my God, it's the Sentinels, and ah Beast has to say, they slashed right through the window. Sure. by By the end here, people aren't doing that. Yeah, yeah.
01:47:11
Speaker
Even, i mean, he does that, but then you turn the page and it is entirely narrated, or it's not even narrated, it's just overshadowed by the news broadcast. Oh, in that first one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, they really make A good team. i like Could you have imagined in the middle of that desert wasteland that was the Roy Thomas, first Roy Thomas run, that later you would be reading Roy Thomas and being like, yes, and yes, yes.
01:47:41
Speaker
Standing up in my chair and clapping after I read your shit.
Creative Team Commendation
01:47:48
Speaker
These are so good.
01:47:51
Speaker
There's almost no issue, listeners, that we have recommended to you. Sure. But the this is the first time I'd be like, hey, if you want to read some classic X-Men, this is what this is where you start reading.
01:48:04
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. In the the mid to late Yeah. I think you can start with 58. Like, you're starting at the after a cliffhanger, kind of. But I think that's... And you're not it's not the first Neil Adams issue, but I think 58 is where to start.
01:48:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. God damn. That is my final thought on this run, Matt. Fucking yeah damn. Wow. my My thought is is good.
01:48:34
Speaker
Rules. Rules. I wrote rules and is good. That's what I did. So it's... I mean... We're not getting a lot. No, we are. i was going to say we're not getting a lot of character moments, but we are.
01:48:47
Speaker
Everybody is fully kind of in character. and Yeah. And fully sort of understood. And Hank and Lorna aren't quite there yet, but they are getting there. And even this Magneto is so much more Magneto than just the ranting, raving lunatic from previous issues. Yeah, yeah. ah Very calm and measured and giving his plan time to work out. He's ah right a more Machiavellian Magneto.
01:49:13
Speaker
It's it just so impressive. I keep, Pat, I keep starting a sentence. And then I'm disrupting you with my incredible portentos.
01:49:25
Speaker
No, I'm saying i start a sentence. I am so awed that I keep starting a sentence and keep going, it's, and then not knowing how to finish it because I'm just trying to say this rules.
01:49:38
Speaker
Yeah, this was great. Can't. i i'm thinking Do you think if we had been reading good comics and then read these, though, we would be feeling this way? or do you think this is just like we are? We've been crawling through the desert. We are so thirsty.
01:49:51
Speaker
No, I think these hold, that I made the frank ah Frank Miller comparison early on and i I stand by it. I think this is ahead of its time and it holds up with like some of my absolute favorite comic book runs.
01:50:04
Speaker
I think Frank Miller is a really good comparison to Neil Adams. One I've never heard before, but the more I look at, the more I look at his art after you say that, the more I'm really understanding the through line between the two.
01:50:19
Speaker
Okay. Patrick. Yes.
01:50:23
Speaker
We... I am a little short on time here. So...
01:50:30
Speaker
or How quickly can you sell me on this? Steal and deal. Oh, boy, Matt. i So I can read through the copy pretty quick, but the math might take a little while.
01:50:41
Speaker
Let's dig in. ah let's dig in yeah The dollar comparison from today is slightly tougher than nineteen sixty seven enjoy an exciting romantic impressive look any time You know how, Matt?
01:51:01
Speaker
No. By having the look men envy and women admire whenever you choose. Now you, at by last, you can have the experience of wearing sideburns, mustache, or Van Dyke that is so real looking your friends will think it is your very own.
01:51:17
Speaker
No. Competition tough? Want to impress your employer or girlfriend? Want to look older or younger or different? Cooler sharp? Do you miss the attention you should be getting? Try a masculiner Van Dyke sideburns and or mustache.
01:51:32
Speaker
Now, ah i'm I'm going to skip through here because it really doesn't. i It you relies on the art to do the explaining here. This is just an adhesive mustache, goatee, or sideburns.
01:51:48
Speaker
Pat, these are just you glue sideburns or goatee or mustache onto your own face. Yes. And not as a costume. The sell here is that it will look real.
01:52:01
Speaker
And to illustrate it, they've chosen a man with light hair and pasted dark facial hair all over his face.
01:52:12
Speaker
It's... Even the illustration doesn't look real. it doesn't they make it look good. They say that you should do this to impress your girlfriend. Okay. If I was dating somebody and I had a completely bare face one day and the next day show up and wearing fake sideburns, they're not going to be like,
01:52:34
Speaker
They're going to like, what the fuck are you doing, Matt? kit Can you take those off? let's Is something wrong with you? but It does not. Are you in hiding?
01:52:47
Speaker
Is everything okay? Are you? Are the police looking for you? i It doesn't matter even if somehow these look attractive on you. Your girlfriend is not going to say, oo leave on the fake sideburns.
01:53:03
Speaker
Please wear those every day. what do you it doesn't mention here, but if you had to guess, what do you think these are made of?
01:53:11
Speaker
horse Horse hair. horse hair i was thinking horse hair. yeah Yeah. So, Pat Steele and Deal, we got to talk price here. Van Dyke, which is a goatee.
01:53:23
Speaker
Dick Van Dyke never did this, but $3 for the goatee, $2 for the mustache, $3 for sideburns. So that's $8 altogether. Matt, if you were to buy all three at once, how much do you think you would pay? How much would you be willing to pay
01:53:42
Speaker
For the Van Dyke, a mustache, and a sideburns. Yeah, yeah. Also, it's not Dick Van Dyke. It's Flemish painter Anthony Van Dyke. You know this.
01:53:52
Speaker
Right. Anthony Van Dyke. Okay, how much would I pay for a fake beard, a fake mustache, and fake sideburns? And fake sideburns. Literally, I would, at a dollar store, I would expect to get two of each in a package for one dollar.
01:54:10
Speaker
Better than that, Matt. All three, $6. Okay.
01:54:16
Speaker
I would not pay $6 for this in 2025 money. What? You're essentially getting the mustache for free at that rate. But how much, how much, how much is this in 1969 money?
01:54:31
Speaker
Okay. So this is where it gets tricky. I think what we need to do $6 multiply it. So... It is approximately, before it was 10%, the $19.69 was, or sorry, was of the Right now, ah it's a about eleven point four percent sixty nine the dollar went up a little bit in twenty twenty five the dollar went down a little bit so we end up with
01:55:02
Speaker
what are we goingnna do one point something
01:55:09
Speaker
comes to $6.68 in today's money. That can't be right. No. Yeah, that can't be right. That's not right. um Wait a second, Pat. $1 is equal to what?
01:55:21
Speaker
$1 would be equal to $8 and change. Oh, well then you just multiply $6 by $8 something. fifty one dollars $51, Matt. $51 for only $51. one fake mustache, one fake sideburns, and one fake beard.
01:55:46
Speaker
That you have to glue on. $51. It doesn't come with the glue? i It doesn't actually say. says it adheres securely.
01:56:00
Speaker
Pat, this is the worst deal in deal yet. yeah this is I clearly i didn't have a great handle on the math when I first tried to figure out if this was a steal or a deal. This is horrible, horrible, this is about the worst thing That you could have spent your money on out of anything we've pulled up yet. And one of them was just give us your, give us your inventions for free.
01:56:30
Speaker
Can that, what? Okay. Does this change your mind at all? Free, complete instructions on how to best wear your Van Dyke mustache or sideburns.
01:56:42
Speaker
All right, everybody. Thank you for listening to Mutant Menace. Be sure to like and subscribe on um yeah Instagram and YouTube. If you want to participate in Pat's email corner, you email us mutantmenacepod at gmail.com. Is that right, Pat?
01:57:01
Speaker
That's right. Our hot new segment. And then i you can find us on yeah Instagram, mutantmenacepod, and... Thank you to Krils Wilson for our intro and outro music. Thank you to Julia Selle for the voice of Trish Tilby.
01:57:19
Speaker
And, Pat. Yes. What is it we say at the end of every single episode when we sign off? Well, as always, folks, please remember, it is dangerous to mock Kesar. Yes.
01:57:37
Speaker
And from now on, he won't look cross-eyes at a three-toed sloth.