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34 - Marvel Team-Up 117-118, Uncanny X-Men 154-157 - Space Opera
99 Plays7 days ago
Buckle up, folks; we're going to space this episode! But first, we have to stop by and hang out with our friend Spider-Man! Get ready for adventures across New York, Earth's orbit, and the Shi'ar Empire, making friends like Corsair and the Starjammers along the way! A LOT of X-Men down, and an eerie forecast of things to come.
Topics discussed:
Guy Ritchie’s X-Men. Dog ate a book. Marvel movies. J.M. DeMatteis! Wolverine touchin' butts. Wolverine at Ren Faire. Bunkies. Roman orgies. Robot heads roll. Spider-Man’s awkward sleepover. Professor Anthony Power. Mentallo? The Fixer?? Vacation-mode Professor X. Corsair! Shi’ar drama! Father issues. Spider-bots blowing the hell up. Tigra! The Imperial Consort. Calling Professor Xavier “Charlie”. Kitty still in a bikini. The Brood?! Deathbird! Is Colossus dead?!? The Starjammers are back! Lilandra and Charles reunited. A full-fledged Space Opera. A handheld costume generator. Kitty’s raddest costume. Admirable Admiral. Xavier down! The Phoenix?! Nope haha. Peter Pan. Intercepting lasers. WEBWING! Another T-Rex.
Write in to Pat's Email Corner: mutantmenacepod@gmail.com
Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeV
Instagram: @mutantmenacepod
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Transcript
Live Report from Westchester
00:00:01
Speaker
I'm Trish Tobey with W.A.R.C. reporting to you live from Westchester, New York, where there appears to be some sort of mutant menace on the loose.
Introducing 'Welcome to Mutant Menace'
00:00:38
Speaker
Hey, I'm Pat Reber. And I'm Matt Allcamp. And say it with me, Pete.
00:00:45
Speaker
welcome Welcome to Mutant Menace. Fuck yeah. Nice. How is it going, my friend? ah Matt, things are fine.
Fan Art and Alter Egos
00:00:57
Speaker
Go. Who cares, though? can't care about this. I'm not allowed to care about this. Is time for Pat's email corner. ah Yeah. ah We got a few today. Number one We have another edition of fan art from magic. The dog. She's drawn us ah once again as.
00:01:25
Speaker
Hat all clamp and hat rhubarb. Okay. Are we wearing hats? Yeah, yours hat all clamp is a hat that's just a clamp on your head. And mine hat rhubarb is just a ah crown of rhubarb's.
00:01:43
Speaker
You know, we don't look as horrifically unattractive in these ones, though. Yeah, this is actually pretty like the face rendering is is pretty solid here. It's just it's you know what? it You know how it makes me feel? It makes me say, please, someone else send us some fan art. It doesn't have to be of us. Just this can't be the only thing we're putting up on our Instagram.
00:02:05
Speaker
Yeah. ah Yeah. So this, it doesn't, it doesn't have to be of us, but wouldn't that be cool? Wouldn't it be cool to see us as X-Men? That would be sick. if Somebody put me in an X uniform and imagined a power for me.
00:02:21
Speaker
um I bet your power is shitting yourself. No, come on. Don't give them that idea.
Email Segment: Mikey Two Mails
00:02:27
Speaker
All right, let's keep moving. We also have our traditional two emails from Mikey two males. ah Number one is episode 33, non X-Men email. Hi, Pat.
00:02:37
Speaker
It's so funny you gave him this name, and so now he is committed to sending two emails every episode. It's very good.
00:02:48
Speaker
Hi, Pat. Tell Matt I said that I also say that if there's a Pat Steals and Deals from another comic, if he lets us know where it is from, i am all for it. I love this segment. Always makes me laugh.
00:02:59
Speaker
Though the purchase of a live monkey still haunts me to this day, thinking that was a possibility at one point in time. Thank you, Mikey. Two males. Another vote for being honest.
00:03:11
Speaker
ah Yeah, it sounds like we're not like, ah okay, it sounds like we have to do Pat's deals and deals, even if there's no ads in those comics, even if some vandals came along and covered them over in black ink.
00:03:26
Speaker
Yeah, we should skip Pat's email corner one day and see if they tell us to just start making up emails. Yeah. i'm Sorry, we didn't get any emails this week. We considered briefly just lying.
00:03:39
Speaker
Let us know what you think. i Email two from Mikey, two males, episode 33 X-Men related email. He says, hi, Pat. Tell Matt. I said the Savage Lands are a really strange time capsule for writing that feels like it's a Marvel writers dumping grounds for let me get something out to break writer's block.
00:03:58
Speaker
Right. like OK, so it's just like I can just send him to the Savage Land this issue. yeah Yeah, I got a deadline to make. Let's get him to the Savage Land. And maybe something will happen there. Yeah, you know you know what happens from there. It's the same thing every time.
00:04:14
Speaker
That's a good way to look at it, I think. i Well, then the same must be the true of Arcade, right? Because, again, like that's another thing where it's just like
Listener Gregor's Contributions
00:04:23
Speaker
has nothing to do with anything else going on.
00:04:26
Speaker
And it's the same plot every single time. ah Thank you, Mikey Chumales. Gregor, listener Gregor writes in for the third consecutive episode. I think you've got to give him a nickname, right?
00:04:38
Speaker
ah Yeah. ah Let's what is what does he say in this email? Maybe this will give us some sort of clue as to what his nickname should be. He says, hey, Pat, I apologize for not following the format of your email corner in my previous message. And if you could pass the message along to Matt, I'd appreciate it.
00:04:54
Speaker
Huh. Ooh. He's getting technical with the yeah the formatting here, but I think that fits. That still doesn't technically fit our format, but it also technically fits our format. Okay.
00:05:07
Speaker
So he has a rebellious quality. he has ah He has a quality where he's like, I'll follow the spirit of the law. Okay, we'll we'll keep that eye may not follow the letter of the law.
00:05:20
Speaker
He goes on, he says, in regards to my first email about reading ads from older comics, I meant you could be upfront about there not being ads in the current issue, so you were going back to a previous one. and The reason he raises this is because I think we implied that he wants us to lie about it. So he is clarifying that instead of being honest about it being our idea, it was his idea originally.
00:05:45
Speaker
This is one of my favorite things about Pat's email corner is the adversarial relationship we have with our listeners. There is a big kerfuffle in the Discord recently because we've, for but for like 10 episodes, kept insisting that ah emailers were insulting one another.
00:06:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. We just keep making shit up and then people have to...
00:06:13
Speaker
Write in to let us know that we ah we are in fact making that up. Yeah, we have confused. three um It's not going to stop us, but it's good to know the ah the impact that we're having.
00:06:26
Speaker
A thing about our humor is it's lies. so It's we tell lies. We tell lies about you and that's what's funny. It's very funny. Gregor goes on, though, and as for casting choices for a live-action Nightcrawler, I also initially thought of Chalamet, but I don't think he's the right choice.
00:06:42
Speaker
For an older, grittier version, my casting would be British actors Stephen Graham for Wolverine and Joseph Gilgun for Nightcrawler. They both have the right physique and are both great actors.
00:06:55
Speaker
So... I looked them up because British actors are not my forte. But Stephen Graham is, I know him as Tommy from Snatch. Oh, okay. He also, I think he played al Capone in Boardwalk Empire. he was in the Irishman.
00:07:14
Speaker
yeah I've seen this guy. He is, he's a big guy. Solid actor. I think he's got the right stature. He's not a tall guy. He's like... Under six foot.
00:07:24
Speaker
And he ah he's bulky. He can an American accent. I don't want him to. I was just going say, I like the idea of a British Wolverine in Nightcrawler.
00:07:36
Speaker
What about Guy Ritchie's X-Men? But it's like late 90s, early aughts Guy Ritchie. and so it's So it's just them all cursing. It's just quick. It would be a bunch of Wolverines, yeah.
00:07:49
Speaker
Quick cuts of them cursing at each other. And doing lots of murder. Yeah. I love it.
00:08:01
Speaker
Joseph Gilgun I also looked up. I do not recognize this guy. I think he is that British. Joseph Gilgun is very... he He's got sleeve tattoos like Nightcrawler does. Yeah.
00:08:18
Speaker
We all know. um No, I don't know this guy at all, but... He was on, oh, Pat, he he played Eli Dingle.
00:08:30
Speaker
Patty played Eli Dingle in Emmerdale. Emmerdale. In what? Eli Dingle in Emmerdale. Eli Dingle of Emmerdale. Great. Sounds like a natural transition to Kurt Wagner.
00:08:46
Speaker
You'll him Croingius Cassidy. That's it for Pat's email corner. But before we exit, we need a nickname for Gregor. Now, Gregor's proven himself a bit rebellious, a bit wise.
00:08:59
Speaker
When I hear the name Gregor, I think of the main character of Metamorphosis. Metamorphosis. Who is neither wise nor rebellious.
00:09:09
Speaker
I think of Gregor from Wiretap. the CBC radio show wiretap, um, who is not wise, but is rebellious.
00:09:21
Speaker
Okay. we're, we're honing in on rebellious. and So rebellious, I think is the main thing. So what about what's a rebel? Gregor Dean.
00:09:32
Speaker
greg What about pirate Gregor? Pirate Gregor.
00:09:39
Speaker
The swashbuckling, Gregor. The swashbuckling. Gregor, we've thrown a few options for you here. Let us know what you prefer. How's that? We're letting him choose? I don't know. and What are the rules?
00:09:50
Speaker
i He's a rule It doesn't matter. it i'm asking him what he prefers. It doesn't mean it's going to dictate doesn't mean that we're going to do it. Yeah. So by the next time he emails, we don't have to come up with the nickname here.
00:10:03
Speaker
By the next time emails. We're stuck here. We're puffy faffing. Okay. You're right.
00:10:09
Speaker
Elliot, play the song. did You know that sound guy's name now? Is it Elliot? No, no, I refuse to talk to him.
00:10:25
Speaker
All right, Matt, I gotta ask. you Have you done anything X-Men related this week? No. I was dog sitting. I've been dog sitting this week. my My friend has a new puppy.
00:10:40
Speaker
Yes. And this this puppy is crazy and likes to destroy stuff. Well, actually, this puppy's kind of just chilled out very recently. It was destroying stuff. One day it ate a book.
00:10:52
Speaker
Oh, like how thick of a book? Like a novel. Like like a novel. like
X-Men Activities and Movie Critiques
00:10:57
Speaker
Like a novel. A hardback novel just like ate a book. I've never seen a dog just to eat a whole book before.
00:11:06
Speaker
But he's chilled out a little bit. His name's Henry. He's very sweet. um And that's what I've been doing this week. Is that X-Men related? Sounds a lot like how we've been introduced to Wolverine.
00:11:18
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. When Wolverine was dog sitting for his friends and ah got know kidnapped by the Weapon X program. How about you, Pat? Have you done anything X-Men related this week?
00:11:31
Speaker
I'll tell you, Matt, I watched finally the Fantastic Four movie oh that came out over the summer. I'm not at a point where I need to see them in theaters. I'm not at a point where even need to rent them when they come out.
00:11:46
Speaker
I have a Disney Plus subscription and I'll just wait for the movie to appear there. And I'm happy to say yeah I'm glad I did. Because it, oh, really?
00:11:57
Speaker
Not a whole lot to it. It looked amazing. intriguing but I yeah didn't hear a lot about it after it came out I heard a lot about it before it came out it's just it's not like it's not bad it's just it's just there it's it was it was pretty toothless it was like without an edge which you don't expect much of an edge to the Fantastic Four but even the threat felt very polished and very sort of right
00:12:30
Speaker
I don't know, muffled. They do set everything in this weird, so it doesn't take place in the 1960s. It's just like this weird 60s nostalgia universe, like the fake imagined nineteen sixty s that everybody wants to return to.
00:12:48
Speaker
Right. Okay. Yeah. And I think that concept is really interesting, just like a really aesthetically pleasing universe where everything's, what do they call it? Retro.
00:12:58
Speaker
Retro futuristic. Mid-century modern. And also they give ah they give the thing a beard for part of the movie, which I think is, it looks good. Like a rock like while he's Rocky? Yeah.
00:13:11
Speaker
Yeah. interesting can't know well i think what you're describing is just how marvel movies have felt for i don't know what five years yes but this like this felt more like that than any like every other movie is like oh that's this felt a whole lot like a marvel movie this is yeah on marvel movie okay that's all Well, that's X-Men related because the X-Men teamed up with the Fantastic Four against Badoon.
00:13:42
Speaker
Everyone's favorite ones. Yeah. Well, Pat, no more puffy faffin. Let's get to. We're going you wear it out. What's that?
00:13:53
Speaker
we're We're going to wear it out. i did This is the first time I fucking said it this whole episode, Patrick.
00:14:01
Speaker
um Sorry.
00:14:07
Speaker
Matt, let's get
Marvel Team-Up #117 Discussion
00:14:09
Speaker
to it. Should I start us off with Marvel team up number 117 sense senses? That's not the X-Men.
00:14:19
Speaker
I know, Matt. We're going to ah dip away from the X-Men for just a couple of issues more here. You know how much this upsets me. Yeah. But the thing is, Matt, the X-Men are getting very popular. So they're being added to all these other comics.
00:14:36
Speaker
And we're going to have to, as is our vow, we're going to have to touch on every single one of them. this is our dark This is our dark passenger that we are cursed to travel through life with. Yeah, you're right.
00:14:52
Speaker
All right, story JMD Mateus. Whoa! Yeah. I know him best through his team-ups with Keith Giffen on Justice League.
00:15:07
Speaker
Yes, yeah he's done a lot of Justice League, including ah writing some of the animated movies and series as well. Oh, OK. But ah he is also known for creating the Creature Commandos.
00:15:21
Speaker
He also created... What? do Do you know what those are? Yes, do you know what those are? I do not know what the Creature Commandos are. There's a cartoon about it now, which is how I know, embarrassingly enough, how I know who they are.
00:15:34
Speaker
ah but But yeah, an interesting bunch of freaks. ah He also created Arnie Roth, which is who is a ah friend of Steve Rogers.
00:15:47
Speaker
Yes. But important because he is the first openly gay character in mainstream superhero comics. During his introduction, he couldn't actually say he was gay because of the Comics Code Authority. But it was very heavily implied and ah continued through until I think he died of bone cancer.
00:16:07
Speaker
Demetrius also wrote Kraven's Last Hunt, which was just a very good Spider-Man arc, if you're not familiar. Yeah, I know Demetrius was a big Spider-Man writer. Like, he wrote a lot of Spider-Man. Yes.
00:16:18
Speaker
Yeah, and like solid Spider-Man. It's a ah dark era, and he's also responsible for starting the new clone saga, but... ah he's um He's done a lot of solid Spider-Man work.
00:16:30
Speaker
He was also a music journalist. I think right before or just as he was getting into comics, he left music journalism after backlash to a negative Grateful Dead review that he wrote. He just couldn't the Stan culture of the time for the Grateful Dead. That's why he left. So he left journalism.
00:16:51
Speaker
Because people got mad at him. could you That is such a different world than the world we live in today. It is. I mean, he compared it to writing comics. He said that the the backlash is extremely similar.
00:17:07
Speaker
But I guess what I mean is, like, do people leave journalism or criticism because of backlash anymore? Or is that like... Does it just drive them further into madness?
J.M. DeMatteis' Career and Music
00:17:20
Speaker
Exactly. Well, like all good critics of music, he is also a musician himself. and Of course. ah He has the most music critic-ass music I've oh no ever heard.
00:17:35
Speaker
I did find some of it on YouTube. Oh my goodness, we have to listen to it. Okay. it is It's a six-minute song, so we're definitely not going to... We'll just listen to a clip.
00:17:49
Speaker
Sometimes
00:18:16
Speaker
Started a long time ago
00:18:22
Speaker
When I first laid eyes on you I just didn't know about your love But now I'm a soldier I've been through so many wars Fought so many battles
00:18:48
Speaker
All for the cause of your love
00:19:06
Speaker
How many lifetimes? Have you had enough? This is the second time I've listened to this today. that is so Okay, i'll stop it. it's like The song, there was a buildup. There was like the drums. like duo butto butto butto And it built up to something that was the exact same level of intensity as what was before the drums.
00:19:29
Speaker
Yes. So this was 1991, and I think it's just very, like, We're kind of in a music dead area where hair metal is dying out, but smells like teen spirit hasn't been released yet. So people are just writing these weird folky ballots. And I don't think he made money. It's got 400 views on YouTube and it's been here for 10 years. So I don't think he made money on it.
00:19:57
Speaker
Well, hey, ah you know, he's having fun up there. ah Anyway, J.M. DiMatteis. Okay, yeah. Story, art, Herb Trimp, Mike Esposito, letters, Joe Rosen, colors, Bob Sharon, editor, Tom DeFalco, editor-in-chief, Jimmy Juter.
00:20:17
Speaker
Release date, February 16th, 1982, cover date,
00:20:25
Speaker
In the wood of upstate New York, Wolverine is tracking a deer while a shadowy man watches him on a monitor. Logan creeps up and touches the deer's butt, then starts monologuing him about being a superhero while he runs away.
00:20:38
Speaker
He really does. He just stands there, hands on hips, and he's like, ah ah, if I can touch you, majestic deer, think about what I can do to a supervillain.
00:20:50
Speaker
he's I love that this is the quality that Demonteus picked up on when he read through to find out who Wolverine was. He's like, I cannot wait to get my hands on this guy.
00:21:01
Speaker
I'm definitely going to have him touch a deer's butt. His monologue is interrupted by a man in a Roman centurion armor on a horse with a laser rifle.
00:21:13
Speaker
This has the living Pharaoh written all over it. I, you know, I immediately, that's funny that you went living Pharaoh ah because my brain went to, what was his name? Maha Yogi.
00:21:29
Speaker
Oh, remember when Maha Yogi was warlock, who's also the mythical figure Merlin. Merlin, right. Remember when he was warlock and he did this exact thing.
00:21:40
Speaker
Yeah. Except they had Tommy guns. Yeah. invented lasers yet. So this man tells Wolverine he's trespassing on the master's land, pointing to a no trespassing sign that Logan is sure wasn't there moments ago and demands that he come along to be punished.
00:22:01
Speaker
An army of centurions bursts out of the tree line, but this doesn't deter Wolverine. He pops his claws and throws himself in the middle of the centurions, fighting like a madman until a gas canister knocks him unconscious.
00:22:15
Speaker
They call it a neuro paralysis. There it is.
00:22:22
Speaker
There's also there's a really fun moment during this where the centurion tells Wolverine that if he doesn't comply, he's going to kill him. And Wolverine says, you and what army? And the centurion says, ah this army. And then an army comes flying out of the woods.
00:22:40
Speaker
Do they ever follow up on the fact that the sign wasn't there a second ago? No. Okay. No. There's some weird psychic energy here that is...
00:22:52
Speaker
But a lot of a lot of what is happening is physical, right? Like certain things appear and disappear, but not in that kind of way where he was like there wasn't a whole barbed wire fence here before.
00:23:06
Speaker
yeah No, it it doesn't make sense. Maybe it was there. Maybe Wolverine just didn't notice. It's not a sign guy. No, he doesn't look for signs. He's too busy looking at deer butts.
00:23:18
Speaker
ah A few miles south, Spider-Man is swinging through the city, spying on his friends when another centurion in a hovercraft descends on him, demanding his arrest. Just like Wolverine, Spider-Man shouts back at the man and an army of centurions in hovercrafts fills the sky. It's the same bit. It's the, oh, you you better call in for backup.
00:23:39
Speaker
Yeah. And he's like, I've got backup right back here. up here up here Spidey starts tearing through them with some creative webbing and they too pull out a gas canister. However, Spidey comes up with a brilliant plan to throw them off.
00:23:55
Speaker
He kind of just hangs on the side of the building and they all leave. They can't find him. Yeah. He's just like, I've got a great idea. And he's like, I'll dive out of their view. And he just hangs upside down off a building ledge. And he's and they're like, oh, man, he must have disappeared into thin air. Let's get out of here.
00:24:14
Speaker
Well, luckily, Matt, Spider-Man threw a spider tracer on one of the hovercrafts to lead him back to their base. Clever girl.
00:24:25
Speaker
Back at their base, Wolverine wakes up in a gladiator's arena. As his nose tells him, the crowd is full of mannequins, crowd noises being pumped in through the speakers. He can smell that.
00:24:36
Speaker
And a knight on horseback claiming to be Sir Gawain is pointing a jousting sword at him and threatening to kill him. who just like stumbled into a Renaissance.
00:24:49
Speaker
ah He's like, how would Wolverine react to a Renaissance fair? He's in the middle of a bunch of people cosplaying as medieval. Whatever's how, what is, I'm sure he likes the beer.
00:25:04
Speaker
He likes the Turkey legs. Yeah. Yeah. I think he dresses up as just like in like his lumberjack attire. And just walks around kind of grinning at people.
00:25:14
Speaker
I don't think he talks to one person. So you think he kind of just thinks it's funny. He's like, holy shit. Look, I think he would enjoy it. OK. Oh, you don't even think he thinks they're nerds. You think he's like, this is my these are my kind of people.
00:25:29
Speaker
no No, no, no, Like, I think he's I think he's laughing at them. But OK, like he's having a good time doing it. As long as as long as nobody tries to strike up a medieval conversation with him.
00:25:40
Speaker
And he's like, I don't talk that way, bub. And then pops two claws. And he's like, you don't want to see the third. He's got their heads framed with his claws. Ready to kill them. Don't talk to me like that.
00:25:58
Speaker
thanks and He's jousting Sir Gawain. Wolverine makes short work of this dork, knocking his helmet off to reveal to to reveal him to be a helpless old man and then knocking his head off to reveal him to be a robot.
00:26:15
Speaker
ah He got me with this one because he just stabs and I'm like, no, man, what are you doing? but he knew it's it's a robot. He always knows this is also we should start counting the amount of robot heads he knocks off during this. So this is this is one.
00:26:30
Speaker
With his claws, he tears through a door in the arena and is shocked by what he sees. But it's off panel. And we cut to Spider-Man. Swinging tree a tree through the forest and popping his butt like way out.
00:26:45
Speaker
it Every time we catch him. It is he's like, but is it's he keeps it up. He keeps it in the air.
00:26:57
Speaker
ah It's leads like a center of balance. Hey, wait, I here's a couple there's a couple things. Sorry that we that we missed. Number one, when Spider-Man was spying on his friends, who are Marcy Kane and Roger Hochberg?
00:27:12
Speaker
I so I think Spider-Man. I don't know, Matt. We're not following Spider-Man. OK, also Spider-Man immediately is like, oh, these guys are in air cars. What?
00:27:24
Speaker
Air cars? I think they even refer to them as air cars. Like, like he hangs out with the Fantastic Four. He's seen air cars. They just call them air cars. Air car. Yeah.
00:27:35
Speaker
Not flying car. Air car. When he's fighting them earlier. Yeah. He calls them bunkies. He does. We're back. We're back. it's So I think bunkies, we're defining the term here, is some sort of henchman that's dressed in anachronistic clothing, right? yes ah Yes, exactly. Yes.
00:27:58
Speaker
Okay, so Spider-Man is swinging through the forest. The shadowy man watches this on a big monitor and presses a button, causing a big old medieval castle to pop out of the ground right in front of Spidey.
00:28:10
Speaker
yeah The drawbridge lowers and he enters, immediately facing a gauntlet of traps like spiked floors and illusory floors and floors that pull out from under him. Floors that are hot.
00:28:21
Speaker
lot of floor stuff. Yeah, just just floor stuff. It's like ah he's playing D&D here. Meanwhile... wolverine finds himself in a good old-fashioned roman orgy it's caligula style this is there is they're not even trying to be subtle about it this is they they invite him to take part in pleasures of the flesh yeah yes yeah he almost considers joining but then starts slicing people up instead because they're also robots A head with laser eyes comes flying at him, but I guess misses.
00:28:57
Speaker
And then a ton of heads and arms come flying at him as he slashes through them all, revealing Spider-Man on the other side, leaning against a wall and just watching. and Yeah, yeah. They almost fight, but Wolverine's nose and Spider-Man's Spidey sense convince them that they're both on the level, so they decide to go searching for whoever's behind this Ren Faire.
00:29:16
Speaker
ah Yeah, now it's Spider-Man and Wolverine at the at the Robot Ren Faire. It's Westworld. It's the Westworld Ren Faire edition. yeah And it's Spider-Man Wolverine and they're walking around killing robots for for for fun.
00:29:31
Speaker
Classic. is It's a good team up. Wolverine and Spider-Man is always a good team up. And i i but this is one of the ah one of their first, right? Yeah, this would be. um that's They've met before, but this is maybe their first like yeah teamup team up, team up.
00:29:47
Speaker
Just the two of them. And I think J.M.D. Matias does something interesting here where... They fully mirror each other up to this point in the story, right?
00:29:58
Speaker
Wolverine is hunting in the forest. Yeah. Sort of like spying on a deer. Spider-Man is hunting the city. Stalking his friends. Stalking his friends. They're each attacked by one Bunky.
00:30:14
Speaker
They tell him to fuck off and then an army appears. Yeah. They fight the army. Of course, Wolverine loses. Spider-Man wins. don't know what that says. um And that continues all the way up to the point where they're face to face.
00:30:28
Speaker
Yeah. Sensing each other, using their senses, using their enhanced senses to feel the other out. There's even the part where they find at the point where they both find themselves in a Ren Faire.
00:30:39
Speaker
They say the same line, which is this is getting nuttier by the minute. I didn't catch that. They both say it. Brilliant stuff.
00:30:50
Speaker
I did not pick that up, but that's really cool. In the next room, they come across a big philosophical robot who gives them a three-way dilemma. There's a prison about to be sprayed with toxic gas, a town about to be assaulted by an army of robots, and a floor plan to the castle pointing to the location of the big bad guy.
00:31:10
Speaker
The robot asks which one they will decide to pursue, but Wolverine leaps like 20 feet in the air and scrags its head off. Two heads. rob another one Another one comes out and demands their answer. It's like, you can kill me, but there'll be a third one. We got a whole lot of backups in here, buddy.
00:31:31
Speaker
So Spider-Man stops Wolverine from killing this one, and they start to discuss their plan. Spider-Man's like, did you hear him? He just said it doesn't matter if you killed him. And Wolverine's like, I know.
00:31:44
Speaker
going kill him. Wolverine's like mid about to leap again. He's like, I know.
00:31:52
Speaker
I knew that. Doesn't mean I can't kill him.
00:31:58
Speaker
Wolverine wants Spidey to go save the town while he stays behind to take out the bad guy. Spidey asks why they're not saving the prison. Logan replies that it's full of the worst criminals he knows.
00:32:09
Speaker
Spidey asks what gives them the right to sacrifice their lives, and Wolverine argues that he didn't choose this, it was thrust upon him. Which is a fair point, right? he Like, this idea of, I've been dealt, like, this is how Wolverine operates, right?
00:32:23
Speaker
I think it was a little out of character for him to be like, hey, these criminals are bad. he cares that they die. yeah. Yeah, yeah but... I think it is totally within his character to say, look, I didn't choose this.
00:32:36
Speaker
I have to make the best choice out of bad options. Yeah. That's like how he operates almost always. Time's running out, so Spider-Man rushes off, shouting behind him that he's headed to the prison, leaving Wolverine no choice but to save the town. Clever girl.
00:32:55
Speaker
After he smashes the robot's head real quick. He takes out one more on his way out. Third robot. He's just like, he's like, ah, that was satisfying. Yeah, yes yeah. Fuck it.
00:33:11
Speaker
At the prison, Spider-Man slingshots himself into the air to stop the plane with the gas. He slingshots himself hundreds of feet into the air. J.M.D. Matias has absolutely no a need for gravity. He's like, I don't care.
00:33:30
Speaker
don't give a shit. Wolverine can leap 20, 30 feet in the air. Spider-Man can fling himself to ah the height that a plane flies. Yeah. He finds the planes being piloted by a centurion who appears to be brainwashed. And as they fight, the plane crashes in a fiery explosion.
00:33:50
Speaker
At the town, Wolverine shows up to fight the army of centurions, but they all disappear in a blaze of light and leave Wolverine to discover that the town was empty the whole time. Oh, man, they got him.
00:34:02
Speaker
He heads back to the Ren Faire to find the castle gone and Spider-Man already there. Wolverine starts slashing at the ground with his claws and this somehow carves out a giant hole, revealing a tunnel through which the castle escaped.
00:34:17
Speaker
At that moment, though, the tunnel collapses and the two admit they've been bested. All right, we have to pause. If you guys got lost listening to that, there's they' that that's valid.
00:34:30
Speaker
Wolverine and Spider-Man are talking, and Wolverine just starts attacking the ground. And as yeah readers, we're like, what? And then in like the next panel, there's a perfectly dug out hole. Yeah.
00:34:45
Speaker
With like circle with like, yeah, perfect circle at the top and then down towards the bottom. There's like square edges on the yeah on the floor. Like yeah took some time to be like and with his claws, which are knives.
00:35:01
Speaker
And then then what they discover is, yeah, the castle escaped down some tracks underneath the ground. And then they're just kind of back at ground level and they say the tunnel collapsed.
00:35:15
Speaker
It's a good thing we got out. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just, it's bad pacing. Yeah. But they did that so they could squeeze in a little epilogue, Matt. Cut to a man at a podium lecturing an army of centurions.
00:35:30
Speaker
The man's name is Professor Power. No, it can't be. And he's giving a lecture on the nature of superheroes. He finds they are hot-headed, unpredictable, childish, and noble.
00:35:43
Speaker
But he has much still to think about. The end.
00:35:50
Speaker
call that It's so true that superheroes are kind of childish. ah Sure. All of them. Just have like a... Even the most adult of them. Like Captain America.
00:36:02
Speaker
It's still kind of childish. He's still just running around like, let's let's see what we can hit to make the world better. And look, if you're trying to pull in two characters to prove that they are hot-headed, unpredictable, and childish, ah Spider-Man and Wolverine are a pretty good combo. That's true. Yeah, picking those two.
00:36:27
Speaker
I think he still fucking nailed it. That is that is a good description of all superheroes. Yeah, yeah. It's gets' pretty solid. Even Batman runs around and throws little ah little bat-shaped discs at people.
00:36:41
Speaker
He dresses up like a bat. yeah because Because criminals will be scared of him if he's a bat. Boo!
00:36:55
Speaker
ah Spider-Man was like, I gotta dress up like a Spider-Man, so I'm gonna i'm goingnna wear bright red, bright blue, ah cover myself in a a web pattern.
00:37:07
Speaker
like Like a spider, I'm covered in webs all the time. How'd you feel about this issue?
00:37:18
Speaker
this was This was actually fun. We've gotten mad at a lot of team-ups, and I'm still a little mad because... no idea what just happened but yeah it was fun we had fun absolutely what i liked about this is it was dumb but it was never boring like it was anti-boring it was so much so much fun i would read it again i'll read it tomorrow And so dense too. So much happens.
00:37:48
Speaker
Yeah. Which is going to be a theme through this episode, I think, but oops like yeah did not expect it to come out of the, the team ups that we're reading. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:59
Speaker
Speaking a dense, Matt, you want to take us along to our next Marvel team up? Oh, I thought you were calling me stupid. Oh, I can. dont Well, is it going to be funny if you do?
00:38:13
Speaker
No, it'll be devastating. Okay, then let's not do it. Okay. Marvel team up number 118, A Meeting of the Minds. Writer JMD Matias, artist Herb Trimpe, inker Mike Esposito, letterer Diana Albers, colorist Bob Sharon, editor Tom DeFalco, chief Jambi Shubes, it's...
00:38:37
Speaker
Released on March 16th, 1982. Cover dated June 1982. Westchester, New York. Wolverine and Spider-Man are training in the danger room?
00:38:51
Speaker
What?
00:38:55
Speaker
That's right. After their team-up, Logan invited Spidey back to the mansion for a sleepover. It's... Yeah, so silly.
00:39:06
Speaker
it's It's very, is Spider-Man is not happy about, like, seems like they woke up in the morning after a sleepover and they had to get to, like, the daytime activities that the house gets up to. And Wolverine's like, come let me show you my favorite toy and takes him to the danger room.
00:39:23
Speaker
And Spider-Man's like, i I thought maybe we'd just, like, eat some breakfast. It's very. Watch cartoons at this time in the morning. Like you have a friend in middle school or high school and you know them, but you're not like good friends with them. And yeah they invite you to sleep over because they want to be better friends. And then you find out all the weird stuff about their house.
00:39:49
Speaker
Right, right, right. They like pray at dinner and you're like, what? Yeah. Yeah. yeah i had I had a friend, his family were all musicians and they were like, he was like a goth kid. Yeah.
00:40:02
Speaker
And his family were like folksy, kind of hippie-ish acoustic musicians and they played music. Most of the time I was there, like they they were just sitting in the living room, strumming their guitars. And my goth friend would join them with an acoustic guitar. And then after a little while, it would be like, stop.
00:40:24
Speaker
and And he would go off to his room. he'd play and then he'd act like he was embarrassed by it the whole time. Yes. Yeah, yeah. He realized you were there and was like, I mean.
00:40:36
Speaker
is Exactly that. and And then we watched the Spawn movie. Yes. But here's what he did. Here's what he had exactly right. He cut up a bunch of little blocks of cheddar cheese, put them on top of Triscuits, and then put them in the microwave for like 30 seconds.
00:40:52
Speaker
Fuck. It's delicious. Very good. Please go on. yeah Well, so during their sleepover, Logan and Spidey, they goof around ah until they're interrupted by a pipe smoking Professor x Xavier calling them for breakfast.
00:41:10
Speaker
He's got the pipe back. This is to continue the middle school sleepover analogy. Professor X like lectures Wolverine. And he's like, don't you realize that Spider-Man isn't having any fun?
00:41:27
Speaker
Were you not paying attention to his body language and the way that he was really unenthusiastic? Maybe you should see what Spider-Man wants to do. And Wolverine's like, nobody talks to me like that.
00:41:39
Speaker
He threatens to kill the professor. yeah and He whips his claws out and he's like, don't embarrass me in front of my new friend. And you know later Spider-Man's like, yeah.
00:41:52
Speaker
And then he he threatened to kill his dad. And I was like, like, it was really awkward. Yeah, things were going fine. And then he threw this temper tantrum and like.
00:42:07
Speaker
Spider-Man dines with the team. Until Xavier mentions he's got a limousine on with his mask on, by the way. Oh, yeah. Did he just... he He must have slept with the mask on overnight, right?
00:42:20
Speaker
Because he keeps it on all day. and No one knows. it Also, they're fucking eating breakfast. All of them that are in their costumes. Fully geared up. Colossus is all meddled up.
00:42:33
Speaker
What is he doing? They're ready for anything.
00:42:37
Speaker
Can even digest food like that? Yeah. We know he can't even breathe. That anyway. That's a good question.
00:42:49
Speaker
Spider-Man dines at the team until Xavier mentions he's got a limousine on the way to take him into the city for meeting with Professor Anthony Power. yes feel It's not even a super villain name. His name is Anthony Power.
00:43:04
Speaker
this It absolutely reads like us making a joke about Professor Power. But that is, yeah. Okay, Spider-Man hitches a ride on top of a limo all the way to the Power's estate, which he does.
00:43:21
Speaker
He goes to sleep on top of the limo because he's like, oh, I'm sticky. And then, first of all, he ghosts the sleepover. He just climbs out the window without saying goodbye to anybody. yeah And then attaches himself to the top of the limo.
00:43:34
Speaker
Like, ah just like plop, like a Garfield ah suction cup window hanger and goes to sleep.
00:43:46
Speaker
Professor X has to mentally cover him. Like, he has to identify every brain on the road and ah put the image of Spider-Man not being on top of the limousine into their head.
00:44:02
Speaker
Okay, but so as he turns to go home, his spider sense starts buzzing like a bee convention. That's a classic Spider-Man quote. A bee convention.
00:44:13
Speaker
A bee convention. A hive? And it's buzzing in the direction of the professor's car. He figures he'll stick around a bit to keep an eye on Xavier.
00:44:25
Speaker
like Xavier, meanwhile, meets the mysterious Professor Power in his office. A brief mind scan confirms that he's got no hidden agenda, but there's still a feeling of unease about this man. We should also mention the driver had a similar feel going on. Yes. whats tap Yeah, he read the driver's mind and he was like, this guy's clean, but.
00:44:49
Speaker
Hmm. Power monologues for a full page about the new book he's written. One that will wake up the country and help establish a new order ruled by control and oppression.
00:45:02
Speaker
He reveals what Xavier couldn't pick up in his mind scan. That he knows x Xavier to be a telepath and what's more, the leader of the X-Men. Oh no.
00:45:12
Speaker
He calls upon his mysterious assistant, Mr. Fix. Hmm. To wheel x Xavier into the adjoining room where he'll reveal the rest of his plans. Mr. Fix, what a mysterious name.
00:45:27
Speaker
Meanwhile, Spider-Man slips in a window to find himself face to face with a platoon of Roman bunkies. This must be connected that whole thing with Wolverine. Of course.
00:45:38
Speaker
Spidey goes into action, kicking and webbing everyone and bouncing off to find x Xavier. Across the mansion, Xavier is wheeled into a bedroom with a young unconscious man lying in bed.
00:45:49
Speaker
Power explains that this is his son, Comatose, from his time served in Vietnam. and can't And he can't be saved by any doctors.
00:46:01
Speaker
like Xavier is his only hope and must save his son! ah Xavier complies out of kindness, not because power demands it, but it doesn't matter. The boy's mind has been ravaged and it could take months to bring him back to consciousness.
00:46:15
Speaker
If it's even possible, trying to cure him instantly could permanently fry his brain. Power doesn't like this answer. And so he lowers a ah
00:46:26
Speaker
Psychoplastic bubble, Pat. Yes, new. This is a new invention, Matt. Psychoplastic bubble. Yeah. Jarks. This plastic's crazy.
00:46:40
Speaker
So power again reveals a secret plan. Behind another door lies Mentalo, a psychic former shield agent and who betrayed his superiors. Also trapped in a psychoplastic bubble. This guy keeps opening doors and revealing surprises.
00:46:58
Speaker
He's got a a set of rooms that he can just keep doing this with. Yeah, if if x Xavier has a plan to stop Mentallo, he'll just open another door and he's like, now I have Mesmero here.
00:47:11
Speaker
yeah I have the purple man behind this door. So Mentallo's brain was broken after his attack on S.H.I.E.L.D. When did this happen, Pat?
00:47:22
Speaker
what is I don't know, Matt. I'm not following Mentallo. Isn't he a Superman villain? Also, he's also comatose. And these bubbles are meant to transfer psychic energy from Xavier to him as a sort of jumpstart for Mentallo's brain. You know, psychic energy.
00:47:41
Speaker
Right. A spark. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All of us have psychic energy and you can take it from one brain and put it in another. And that brain has some of your psychic in it. The brain's like a rechargeable battery.
00:47:54
Speaker
Professor Power flips the switch and Professor x Xavier screams. Who's cracking wise in the doorway at that very moment, though? oh It's Spideyman.
00:48:06
Speaker
Mr. Fix steps into the fight, revealing himself to have secretly been the fixer this whole time. What? Mr. Fix was actually the fixer?
00:48:19
Speaker
Pat, how was this reveal supposed to hit? Like, how how was i so was I supposed to be like, oh, my God. So around this time, i think he's still memorable from his fights with like Iron Man.
00:48:39
Speaker
ok But though he's a B-level villain. i can't imagine. I mean, what I learned in looking into who this guy is is that he's not the fixer that killed Daredevil's dad. Okay. Okay.
00:48:54
Speaker
This guy is more of an inventor. He's usually like a tech suit enhancement guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this, he seems just to be like a knockoff tinkerer. Why didn't they just use tinkerer and call him Mr. Tinker? Mr. Tink.
00:49:08
Speaker
Yeah,
00:49:12
Speaker
yeah There is absolutely no difference between my reaction to Mr. Fix and to the Fixer. Mr. Fix is a cooler name. Oh, there's Mr. Fix. Okay.
00:49:25
Speaker
Oh, there's the Fixer. Okay. Absolutely the same. And also not already taken by the guy that killed Daredevil's dad. So...
00:49:36
Speaker
he The Fixer and Spider-Man battle back and forth as Xavier and an awakened Mentalo enter psychic combat. It's a very weird fight, the fight between Spider-Man and Mentalo.
00:49:48
Speaker
It appears as if... It appears as if J.M.D. Matias was not happy with Herb Trimpey drawing them, matching each other blow for blow.
00:50:02
Speaker
And so he wrote all sorts of weird stuff, right? like Yeah, yeah. There is a, when Spider-Man first gets hit, he's like, oh, you ah you only got me because I was just shaking off this trap that I had fallen into. and And otherwise you would never have hit me.
00:50:23
Speaker
And then A couple panels later, he shows the fixer kicking Spider-Man in the head. Yeah, the picture is clearly Spider-Man and getting kicked in the head.
00:50:35
Speaker
Right. Herb Trimpey uses like these action lines in ah in in sort of a burst pattern to show when somebody gets hit. And he's been doing this all along.
00:50:45
Speaker
And that is what's around Spider-Man's head. But the line of dialogue comes from Fixer and he says, what? You've just managed to flip yourself backward to avoid my kick. But how?
00:51:00
Speaker
huge no Okay, first, you just explained how.
00:51:05
Speaker
Spider-Man even takes the moment here to be like, well, I am still off balance from that trap that hit me yeah a couple panels ago. And I haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately. Yeah. But I've got my Spidey sense. Don't worry.
00:51:21
Speaker
I was like, you know this Spider-Man. What do you mean? But how? Why are you surprised if that was the case? But it's it is literally just J.M.D. Matthias trying to be like,
00:51:34
Speaker
Actually, he didn't hit him because like it's like a it's like a fight between Demetrius and Trimpy. Yeah, it's very exciting. At one point, Spider-Man whips the pistol out of the fixer's hand.
00:51:52
Speaker
But then he's like, oh, you fell right into my trap. It's a ricochet pistol and it's coming at your head. What? What are you? but What are you guys talking about?
00:52:05
Speaker
Why would it even if that was a thing, why would it ricochet back to Spider-Man and not back to the hand that it was pulled from? Yeah. What does it mean? Ricochet pistol that it it's a pistol designed to when somebody takes it away from you and throws it off to the side.
00:52:23
Speaker
ah Come right back to the person that just took it away from you and then explode.
00:52:31
Speaker
All right. So, okay. But as this is happening, x Xavier is fighting Mentalo in psychic combat. Xavier would usually win this battle without breaking a sweat, but the bubbles have turned the tables a bit. We see if Xavier boast about his mental strength only to be overpowered by Mentalo's in the real world.
00:52:49
Speaker
The Fixer covers Spider-Man and webs. That's pretty funny. Xavier makes a few desperate psychic maneuvers. He tries to punch, but Mentallo catches it. He transforms into a beast man, only to have Mentallo transform into a giant bird lizard.
00:53:02
Speaker
Outside in the real world, ah Fixer hits Spidey with knockout gas. Is this the end? Pat, is it the end? No. Thinking fast, Spider-Man creates a set of spinning helicopter blades out of his webs and disperses the gas.
00:53:20
Speaker
Thinking strong, ah Xavier focuses his power into a psychic bolt and fires it at the big bird. Fixer and Mantello are defeated.
00:53:32
Speaker
suddenly a scream power son Matthew is awake, but paralyzed with terror only to be able to say no to himself over and over. like Xavier explains that some part of him must have still been psychically linked to Matthew during the battle.
00:53:46
Speaker
And the boy just couldn't handle the strain. Now his brain is permanently destroyed. He has no remorse about this. He's just like, yeah, looks like you fucked up.
00:54:00
Speaker
You fucked up and your son's gone forever. Sorry. His brain is irreparably destroyed. As power mourns, the cops show up to ask about all the noise they heard. ah like Xavier fucks with their heads and they leave. And I guess power has just learned his lesson.
00:54:19
Speaker
oh yeah you know, it's best. The best thing to do with a villain is leave them with absolutely nothing to lose and no consequences. I love, I love all the, I'm sure he's learned his lesson endings that we get.
00:54:36
Speaker
Wow. All right. So those are our Marvel team ups by JMD Matias. One fun note here. when Mentalo is defeated, He says out loud, but with my ps side projection destroyed, i can no longer remain conscious.
00:54:55
Speaker
And then passes out. This is OK. This comic book was fun. But yeah just even stupider than the last one. This is maybe one of the stupidest.
00:55:12
Speaker
This is maybe one of the stupidest comics I've ever read without it being bad, like boring. yeah like Like, I was like, I enjoy this. This is the stupidest thing I've ever read and enjoyed in my life.
00:55:25
Speaker
So goofy. You know what might have helped?
00:55:30
Speaker
No. Duncan was mentioned. ah Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I received the request to meet you through our mutual friend, ah FBI agent, Fred Duncan.
00:55:42
Speaker
Oh, man. Oh, Matt. Is it finally time for us to get back to Uncanny X-Men? ah hope so, Patrick. Otherwise, I'm i'm leaving.
00:55:53
Speaker
well Sit tight, Matt, because it's time for Uncanny X-Men number 154. I won't. i won' Reunion. Chris Claremont, writer.
00:56:04
Speaker
Dave Cockrum, Bob Wyachek, and Joseph Rubenstein, artists. Joe Rosenletterer, Dee Warfield, colorist. Louise Jones, editor. Jim Jimby, editor-in-chief.
00:56:15
Speaker
Release date November 10th, 1981. Matt, we just cannot leave i can't stand it Cover date February 1982, we open in the X-Mansion as Cyclops and Storm are playing their own X-Men version of handball where they can only use their powers. It's pretty cool.
00:56:35
Speaker
Yeah, it's cool. The game has been tied for an hour and the two, exhausted, decide to call a draw. They're both awed by each other's skills and experience and beginning to develop a friendly rivalry.
00:56:46
Speaker
Yeah. The X-Men have, meanwhile, been moving into Magneto's now abandoned weird Lovecraftian island base with the help of Peter Corbeau and Carol Danvers.
00:56:57
Speaker
Yeah, why Why'd you do that? Why are you guys doing that? They say something like, oh, because it's dangerous to stay in the United States because people are people hate mutants. and but That was like the whole point, though.
00:57:16
Speaker
That's, yeah, that's your mission. What's, why are you doing this? It seems like they needed a vacation. Like, Professor X is in his vacation wear. He's got, like, the the khaki button-down short-sleeved shirt and is his Panama hat.
00:57:32
Speaker
And fucking Peter Corbeau's there. Yeah. So that's what happened. When Professor X is on vacation, Peter Corbeau's there. We we know this. He's bad influence, that Peter Corbeau.
00:57:46
Speaker
Yeah. Carol Danvers talks with Wolverine about the recent loss of her powers and memories, including her memories of secret missions she used to run with Wolverine in the Secret Service.
00:57:57
Speaker
What is this all about? don't know. What is it all about? And what's with she lost her memories and her powers? What's going on? It says to reference Avengers Annual Number 10, but I don't think we're going to do that. We don't read the Avengers. No, it seems that we wouldn't read the Avengers, but.
00:58:14
Speaker
i don't know. i guess we'll never know. Scott and Aurora in another interlude, Matt, everything we're seeing right now is being introduced to us as an interlude. Yeah, I had to do that thing where I combined a few of them because this recap has taken a thousand years if I just jump back and forth.
00:58:33
Speaker
It was also they can't all be interludes. These are all these are actual pieces of the story. Sometimes it has to be the story. Yeah. Scott and Aurora are eating dinner and reading mail like a postcard from Kitty and a letter from Emma Frost terminating Kitty's enrollment in the Massachusetts Academy.
00:58:52
Speaker
Glad they got that sorted out because I was really worried about the paperwork not getting filed properly. They begin talking about Storm's position. Yeah, but haven't they already done the enrollment?
00:59:06
Speaker
it's wait What is the bursar going to Deadline. deadline
00:59:13
Speaker
What is she committing ah fraud and getting funding for a student? She doesn't have.
00:59:21
Speaker
ah They begin talking about Storm's position as leader. Now that Scott has returned when a giant spacecraft crashes in the lake beyond the mansion. See all this while Corsair has been on the run from a Shi'ar dreadnought on his way to earth.
00:59:38
Speaker
As Scott and Aurora pull him from the burning wreckage of the spaceship deep underwater, he flashes back to the major traumas of his life. First, the plane crash in which they had to throw their two children from the plane in one parachute.
00:59:51
Speaker
Second, shortly after, the murder of his wife at the hands of the Shi'ar. Third, a time recently when the Starjammers were ambushed by the Empire and Corsair had to leave them behind and flee to Earth to warn the X-Men.
01:00:07
Speaker
Oh, that must have been really recently because that's where he's at Because this end of that memory. And the end of your memories is the present. Now, he's in a bed in the X-Mansion. Pat.
01:00:21
Speaker
The end of your memories is the present. That's pretty deep. That's fucking me actually. I said it to be goofy. No, you said it. I like, that's objectively true.
01:00:35
Speaker
It's really, it's really, it's too true. It's like one of those things that's too true. Like the fact that you are only ever older. Oh.
01:00:52
Speaker
sorry I'm sorry. Now, Corsair is in a bed in the X-Mansion, waking up to Scott Summers holding a locket and demanding to know why Corsair has pictures of a familiar woman and he and his brother Alex as children inside of it.
01:01:09
Speaker
Corsair explains that it's because those are his wife and children. Scott calls him a liar. Storm says, forgive me, but he is not. And then a weird flying jet black spider alien thing with a V-shaped red eye bursts through the window.
01:01:24
Speaker
you go Oh, okay. It looks a lot like, do you remember that device that got sent to fight the X-Men back when they first met Spider-Man in that weird abandoned mill? They were like, oh, a spider is coming. Yeah, yeah.
01:01:39
Speaker
It looks a lot like that. Yeah, except for it doesn't have like the ah eye extending out of its head. What if so Cyclops just says this woman's face is familiar.
01:01:50
Speaker
What if it was like Lee Forrester? it's like Why do you have her? it's course, there's like, I don't know. I like the look of the locket.
01:02:02
Speaker
Corsair calls these spider bots Sidrian hunters. And as they swarm the mansion, and he thinks to himself that they must be bounty hunters working for his pursuers, enemies of the Shi'ar Empire who kidnapped Llandra.
01:02:16
Speaker
Does that all make sense? These must be the friends of the people that kidnapped Llandra because those are his enemies. enemies The enemy of my friend is also my enemy.
01:02:31
Speaker
What's confusing about this, I think, a little bit is he's he's drawing a distinction between the Shi'ar and the Shi'ar dreadnought that was following him. Yeah, yeah. these This is not the class of assassin that the actual Shi'ar empire would hire.
01:02:50
Speaker
So but as far as he knows, whatever's in the dreadnought, that's who he thinks sent these hunters. Yeah, yeah. And he thinks that's different than the Shi'ar Empire. Okay, anyway.
01:03:03
Speaker
Storm tells Scott to start the Blackbird so they can get the rest of the X-Men and stays behind to hold them off. When Corsair accuses Scott of abandoning her, Scott decks him as they get into the monocar that takes them down the mile-long tunnel leading to the Blackbird.
01:03:19
Speaker
Storm begins to tire, and the mansion is torn to shreds as more and more Sidrian hunters appear. She takes off down the tunnel and arrives at the Blackbird just in time for the Sidrian swarm to coagulate into a massive Gestalt spaceship.
01:03:35
Speaker
We suffer some Air Force stuff. This is actually... yeah It's kind of, it's, it has a setup and payoff. It's, we cut to air traffic control in New York city, basically. Yeah.
01:03:48
Speaker
But these the narrator is basically like, let's check in on air traffic control and see how things are going there with all these weird anomalies. And we go to air yeah traffic control and they're just like, Oh shit.
01:04:01
Speaker
Oh fuck. Oh no. And then we cut right back to the battle. That's true. Also, they've painted the name Kitty's Dragon on the side of the blackbird, which is really cute.
01:04:16
Speaker
Yes, that is that is great. i also just want to describe but what we mean by they coagulate into a gestalt. It is a bunch of Sidrian hunters.
01:04:28
Speaker
They all combine together. And now there's a big Sidrian Hunter. it just looks like a skyscraper sized version of the little ones.
01:04:40
Speaker
So we cut back from air traffic control and then see Cyclops taking evasive maneuvers through New York City, trying to escape the giant Sidrian ship. He fires his optic blasts out the new Blackbird windshield that refines and amplifies the beam. It's made of crystal, sending a massive red zap into the heart of the giant manta ray looking ass.
01:05:03
Speaker
Corsair explains that the bonds holding the Sindri... Wait. yeah Yeah, now it's so so they are Sidrian hunters. But when they combine the like the Gestalt is called a Sindri. Corsair explains that the bonds holding the Sindri together are impossible to break.
01:05:21
Speaker
So they wonder aloud if they can be disrupted. To that end, Storm leaves the Blackbird and creates a massive cyclone, trapping the Sindri, saving two cops from a destroyed and NYPD helicopter in the process.
01:05:34
Speaker
As the Sindri struggles in the cyclone and begins to lose form, Cyclops punches the Blackbird through its center, causing thousands of tiny Sindrian hunters to fall to the ground right on top of a petroleum storage facility.
01:05:48
Speaker
Hell yes.
01:05:51
Speaker
Corsair lets slip that the sentry are living creatures, not machines. But despite Scott and Aurora's protests about killing them and the factory workers, Corsair fires his laser blaster into the petroleum stores and blows them all to hell.
01:06:07
Speaker
He tells them he's trying to save the earth. It's one little laser gun. He's got one little laser gun and he fires it just in the direction of the petroleum factory and it just explodes like a nuclear bomb.
01:06:21
Speaker
He knows what he's doing.
01:06:25
Speaker
Ten days ago, the Shi'ar Grand Council was raided by a terrorist force who kidnapped the Lalandra. Their trail led Shi'ar Chancellor Araki and Admiral Samadar to Earth, and apparently they're prepared to destroy all of Earth to get her back.
01:06:43
Speaker
To be continued.
01:06:46
Speaker
Wow.
01:06:50
Speaker
i Only thing to mention, the cops' names are Lou and Gino.
01:06:59
Speaker
ah
01:07:02
Speaker
Well, I want to know what happens, Pat, so I'm going to just tell you. Yeah, please. That's the best way to learn. By telling you, I'm going to learn. So I'm going to tell you and me about Uncanny X-Men number 155. First first blood like the ra Like Rambo?
01:07:24
Speaker
Yeah, Rambo's in this one. chris claremont' the writer dave cochran and bob wycheck are the artists joe rosens the letter of glyne ween is the colorist louise jones the editor and somebody named jego shers the editor-in chief release date december eight nineteen eighty one cover date march nineteen eighty two the x-men's s r seventy one blackbi shrieks Through the night sky, inside, Ororo, Scott, and Corsair are all mad at each other. The mood is intense until it explodes when Ororo tries to sympathize with Scott over their shared orphan background.
01:07:59
Speaker
Scott has no time for that now, though. Storm kept the secret of Corsair being his father for months. Corsair tries to defend her and Scott tears into him like everyone with father issues wishes they could do to their dad. His kidnapped by the she-are excuses don't hold water now that it's been 20 years.
01:08:22
Speaker
Scott reminds Corsair that while he lived his life as a space pirate, becoming cold and ruthless, Scott and Alex had to fight for scraps. He remembered his father as a brave and caring man only to find a roguish, uncaring criminal. ah He also calls his dad Mr. during the speech.
01:08:42
Speaker
Very good. He does not respect you. Yeah, he turns his dad into everybody else. All right, Mr. This is all interrupted when the blackbird starts glowing and is suddenly teleported onto the transporter deck of a Shi'ar dreadnought.
01:09:02
Speaker
The rest of the X-Men are teleported here too, all in costume, except for Xavier and his vacation wear. And Kitty, of course, in a bikini. It's kind of funny that the Shi'ar were like, all right, we need Corsair.
01:09:19
Speaker
It looks like we're getting a couple of the X-Men. Should we just beam them all up? They'll be here anyway. Yeah. So...
01:09:28
Speaker
yeah so Wolverine whips his claws out, but Xavier reveals they are in no immediate danger as some familiar characters appear. Namely, the Shi'ar Imperial Guard with Gladiator, Chancellor Araki, I see Starbolt,
01:09:46
Speaker
Here, yeah there's a new Imperial Guard guy whose name we don't know, but he's like a big bear with flappy things on his head. Fins, maybe.
01:09:57
Speaker
he's like a he's big He's big and furry, and he's got like two fins coming off the side of his head. Yeah, he's got giant claws. Then there's a new Shi'ar guy here who we don't know. So they explain that Lalandra has been kidnapped, and all signs point to Corsair having done it and fled to Earth.
01:10:14
Speaker
They plan to use x Xavier's psychic link to her to find where she is and then rain down hell on earth to release her. like Xavier pulls rank as the Imperial Consort.
01:10:27
Speaker
Does that really have power? That's his title. Imperial yeah Consort. The person that has sex with the Emperor. I'm the guy fucking your Empress. No.
01:10:39
Speaker
i have final say here. I'm sorry you.
01:10:46
Speaker
ah He pulls rank because he's afraid of the loss of human life that would result. As a compromise, the X-Men have one day to find her before the Imperial Guard take whatever violent action necessary to free Lalandra.
01:10:59
Speaker
I have to imagine that this is how most of like Xavier's time with the Shi'ar went, where he was just like, oh, well, have you forgotten that I am the Imperial Consort?
01:11:10
Speaker
And somebody has to be like, yeah, I suppose you are. ah Yeah. I mean, he's just so used to pulling rank on everybody all the time. And this is the smallest bit of power.
01:11:28
Speaker
And he's trying to, he uses it to try and command an entire military force and government.
01:11:36
Speaker
As a show of good faith, Araki demands two X-Men are left behind as hostages until the mission is complete. x Xavier chooses Kurt and Kitty. And before departing, psychically bestows all of his knowledge of the Shi'ar upon Kitty. He...
01:11:49
Speaker
Like puts his hand on her shoulder and makes like a quick psychic link. And like disguises it as like, oh, I'm just affectionately saying goodbye to my bikini young student. let She's still in a bikini.
01:12:05
Speaker
Back on Earth, the X-Men visit the Avengers mansion only to find all of them off world except for the newest Avenger. Tigra. Oh. You know Tigra?
01:12:15
Speaker
Yeah, Tigra. She's just like an orange cat. She's Garfield, but a lady cat. She's a cat. She's a cat. She's got hair. she always She's also always wearing a bikini um and his big like ah you know cat breasts.
01:12:32
Speaker
I think that's what is... ah That's what sets her apart from Garfield. That's what sets her apart from Garfield, exactly. After some goofing around with Wolverine, where he pops his claws and says, back off, cat lady. Back off, cat lady. He's very good.
01:12:49
Speaker
She agrees to help them. Jarvis serves high tea and notes that Xavier looks exhausted. Xavier reveals that off panel, he tried to make psychic contact with Lalandra, only to barely escape a psionic ambush that was placed for him. and but it's a good Good thing you didn't show us that.
01:13:12
Speaker
I don't think we could handled it. What happened here?
01:13:20
Speaker
they just They cut a scene. There's a scene on the cutting room floor. Yeah. It's a rough They couldn't afford the special effects.
01:13:30
Speaker
ah He also tells Wolverine to stop calling him Charlie. And Wolverine reveals that he can't smell Storm or Corsair anywhere in the mansion, which to which I would have said had I been there.
01:13:42
Speaker
Okay, dude. Me neither.
01:13:48
Speaker
i I love Xavier still complaining about Wolverine's nicknames. Yeah. And he says, he's again like, if you must be familiar, call me Charles or better yet, Professor.
01:14:02
Speaker
If you must be familiar, call me Professor. Formerly, formally please call me Professor Charles x Xavier. ah But if you must be so crass, you can call me Professor.
01:14:18
Speaker
I like this paired up with the Marvel team up because it is more and more of Professor X treating Wolverine like a child. Yeah, yeah. ah He does not like this guy.
01:14:31
Speaker
No.
01:14:33
Speaker
Up in orbit, we see Kitty admiring the view of Earth from space. yeah Okay. We'll return to this in a second. Kurt finally asks the common sense question, why is Kitty still in a bikini?
01:14:46
Speaker
They're in the cold darkness of space. Kitty agrees and shows Kurt the costume generator that the Shi'ar left in their cell. It can create any costume as Kitty gleefully displays a parade of outfits. So, first of all,
01:15:04
Speaker
Yes, they cut to this beautiful view of space framed by ah Kitty's butt in a bikini.
01:15:15
Speaker
That's not framed. Framed was the wrong word, but it's just like she is prominent front and center and they just draw the hell of her. They also changed the color of her bikini. it It almost seems like they, because she explains to Nightcrawler that she's already found this costume maker.
01:15:33
Speaker
Yes. It seems like they just left it like this so that when they showed this beautiful panoramic view of outer space, they could have in the center Kitty's butt.
01:15:44
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. It's fairly prominent in this shot. Yes. It's not good. Also, more fucking Star Wars. Well, I do think it's kind of funny that she's going through all these different costumes and then puts on a Darth Vader costume and Kurt appears to be scared.
01:16:06
Speaker
Okay, so Kurt chides her for ah chides her a bit for taking things lightly, but Kitty explains that using the Shi'ar knowledge she got from Xavier and her natural nerd skills, she's been able to use this costume generator to tap into the ship's computer.
01:16:22
Speaker
With that plus their powers, they're now capable of getting anywhere on this ship. it's if you make If you put in the right combination of costumes, it hacks into the mainframe.
01:16:34
Speaker
she knows what she's She knows her way around a computer. That's for sure. yeah It's like when people do those weird speed runs of Mario, and they're like, actually, if you go left and jump three times and then go right and then up again, it actually activates a debug mode in which you jump to the end of the level, and we're done.
01:16:53
Speaker
hey
01:16:56
Speaker
On the streets of New York City, Aurora and Corsair have gone for a walk to chat, but we soon... Start watching them through the crosshairs of a rifle and pan out to see a grotesque alien creature talking with a winged humanoid creature taking flight as the alien calling himself the brood.
01:17:18
Speaker
Weird. Fires on Storm and Corsair. They both start. Yeah. ah Imagine, you know, why the Phantom Menace. I know you're sick of talking about Star Wars, but.
01:17:29
Speaker
I refuse to imagine the Phantom Menace. those Well, you don't have to. It it it already exists. Those rolly robots, they're like, they're not the typical droids. They're the ones that roll out and then. the Yes. i I forget what they're called. i they min as potted cheap It was in a video game and I knew what they were.
01:17:51
Speaker
i They look like that, except covered in scaly, bumpy skin.
01:17:58
Speaker
Okay, yeah, that's ah that's fair. I think there's a more detailed description of them in the next issue recap, but we'll see we'll see how they compare. We'll see if it's better.
01:18:10
Speaker
They both start fighting visions of their deepest, most primal fears as the winged woman swoops in and knocks them to the ground as she announces herself as Death Bird. Death A sharp red bolt of energy knocks her out of the sky.
01:18:23
Speaker
Cyclops, Colossus, x Xavier, and Tigra stand ready to fight. So, Death Bird. We should talk about her. This is not her first appearance. Oh.
01:18:34
Speaker
She first appeared in Miss Marvel number nine as a, as a a yeah, as a Miss Marvel villain. Interesting. Yeah. ah She was created by, guess who?
01:18:48
Speaker
Chris Claremont. Yep. that She's appearing in this, in the X-Men. She was created by Chris Cuervo. Exactly. she he he doesn't... Everything he's created comes into the X-Men.
01:19:01
Speaker
This guy loves the X-Men.
01:19:06
Speaker
But yeah, he was she was just like, yeah, she was like a just an also ran Miss Marvel villain. Nothing. There wasn't that anything that special about her. And now all of a sudden, i don't know. I assume he didn't know at the time that she was going to be.
01:19:24
Speaker
What we find out she is, I think, next issue play a much bigger part. Yeah, yeah. in In his cause, not just in his story, but in the cosmology is, I guess, what I'm trying to.
01:19:36
Speaker
to hint at here. Deathbird recovers and a battle ensues. Cyclops' optic blast proved too much, though, and she dips into a building under construction for cover. Storm and Corsair, meanwhile, have started fighting each other and anyone near them, seeing their greatest enemies and fears everywhere.
01:19:56
Speaker
This includes Scott, who is attacked by Corsair, seeing him as the Shi'ar Emperor that killed his wife and Scott's mother. Huh.
01:20:07
Speaker
like Xavier psychically releases them from their spell and storm and Corsair sprint into the building. Death bird took cover in the brood with a rifle is still there though, and takes aim only to hear a snicked from behind Wolverine makes short work of him.
01:20:24
Speaker
as Wolverine, you know, does. But this brood didn't come alone. Another one appears a few floors below and blast storm in midair with a bunch of ribbons.
01:20:36
Speaker
Oh, no. yeah Yeah, he's throwing a party. No, they start constricting around her and taking her to the ground. Another brood aims a rifle at Xavier, but Colossus steps in front of it and takes the hit.
01:20:48
Speaker
Because it's Colossus. He takes hits all the time. Typically, he's invulnerable, but this bolt contains a cosmic acid. ye that starts ripping through his metal exterior and puts him into excruciating pain.
01:21:03
Speaker
Two X-Men down. oh no. New plan. Cyclops tells Tigra to jump off the building. Fucking rude. That's very mean. No, to jump up the building, grab the falling storm and toss her to Wolverine. Wolverine uses his accuracy with the broads to tear the ribbons off of storm as she falls without scratching her.
01:21:25
Speaker
At which point she can start flying herself, catch Teagra and bring her down to the ground. Aurora then uses a combination of lightning and rain to wash the acid off of Colossus. He's hurt, but he'll be okay.
01:21:37
Speaker
Cyclops orders him to hang back and protect the professor. Quick PSA for any kids listening. If you get an acid burn, don't try electricity to dissolve it and then water to wash it away.
01:21:54
Speaker
Wolverine fights the last brood hiding in the building frame, but smells a bunch more in the basement. They creep down and blast the shit of the passage they're creeping out of. I guess the idea is the the brood are coming out of this little passageway, so everybody just blasts into it and gets rid of them.
01:22:13
Speaker
But only a few of them have blasting powers. So Wolverine has to stand there with a laser gun shooting at the entrance. And it is so
X-Men Comic Battles
01:22:23
Speaker
fucking funny. He's so happy.
01:22:25
Speaker
Yeah, you would think it might be humiliating for him. Like, I have to use this laser gun. But no, he he loves it. He can't get enough of this thing. like i can't stop thinking about a Wolverine with a gun comic.
01:22:43
Speaker
ah Behind the brood, though, is Deathbird holding her talons to the professor's throat and somehow inhibiting his psychic powers. She flings an energy javelin at the team and rushes off into a corridor.
01:22:56
Speaker
And suddenly, a giant dildo-shaped spaceship emerges from the basement and collapses the building. Luckily, Cyclops had parried the javelin with an optic blast, so now they're just trapped in the rubble of a collapsed building.
01:23:09
Speaker
They argue over who gets to use their powers to free them. But as Cyclops blasts his way out, he frets that if Xavier was captured, something must have happened to Colossus. oh no They emerge from the rubble to find Peter face down.
01:23:22
Speaker
A javelin shoved through his heart from behind. Jesus Christ. Wolverine starts to eulogize him knowing there's no chance to save him. But he's interrupted when the police show up, guns drawn, shouting that the X-Men are under arrest.
01:23:37
Speaker
To be continued! oh God.
01:23:42
Speaker
Colossus is dead? is dead. He's gone. You might think you remember him from other comic books, but you don't. He's been dead forever. Yeah. yeah It is crazy.
01:23:55
Speaker
You do kind of feel it here. You're like, oh, my God, he's dead. They've killed some people recently, right? Yeah. so You absolutely, if you were reading at this time, might think, fuck, Colossus is dead, though.
01:24:13
Speaker
They have pulled this Colossus is dead thing before with col like with Colossus and he wasn't dead. One thing that Deathbird yells at everybody is she calls them grubbers, which is a pretty good insult.
01:24:30
Speaker
Come and get me, you grubbers. Whoa. Whoa. all right. That hurt my feelings. it Just enough. I won't attack you. I guess I'm a grubber.
01:24:41
Speaker
How come the professor doesn't get involved in the battle at all?
01:24:48
Speaker
Why does he just sit there? Yeah. He's tired. Use your brain, man. It's been a long day. One other... thought i had on this one other little observation uh corsair and storm get hit by some sort of psycho rifle and end up seeing their most intense primal fears storm's most primal fear is a lion with tusks big curly tusks coming out like an elephant
01:25:21
Speaker
No, she's a sorry. They didn't they didn't explain it well enough. She's afraid of being trapped inside. It's she's claustrophobia. So she's afraid of being trapped inside a lion with tusks.
01:25:33
Speaker
Oh, OK. OK. That tracks, actually.
01:25:39
Speaker
All right, Matt. hu Are you ready for me to tell you about uncanny X-Men number one, five, six um pursuit? Oh, I was going to say only if you tell me what it's called.
01:25:52
Speaker
A Claremont Cockrum, Wyacek Chang, Warfield Jones, Shuper production. That's a lot of people. January 12th, 1982. We finally made it, Matt.
01:26:05
Speaker
We pushed our way through 81. Kitting the shelves in 82. On the other side. Cover date, April 1982. Colossus lays dead in Manhattan, surrounded by his best friends.
01:26:16
Speaker
Storm, Wolverine, Cyclops, Corsair, Tigra, a bunch of cops. Corsair. All his best friends. The cops attempt to arrest the heroes, but Tigra intervenes, but her Avenger status does very little to deter them.
01:26:31
Speaker
What does deter them, though, is when the X-Men are unexpectedly transported into a giant spaceship that has appeared over Manhattan and speeds off into outer space. It's hard to arrest them when that happens. yeah ah out of out of That's out of my jurisdiction. Tigra's upset. She's like, oh, I wish I was with them. Why?
01:26:54
Speaker
Go be an Avenger. She's like, I want to be an X-Man. It is better. It's got to be better. Aboard the spaceship, it's all celebration as the Starjammers are reunited with their captain. Yay!
01:27:10
Speaker
The Starjammers' robot dragonfly medic, Sikorsky, immediately gets to work on the mortally wounded Colossus, and the rest wait and pray. um Corsair's like, oh, Ch'ad, you're here, how did you escape? And Ch'ad's like, miraculously, of course.
01:27:27
Speaker
Fuck yeah. Very good. What a good line. There's so much joy in their faces too. you Yeah. It's, there's a thing here, especially now that we have the star jammers in like, yeah, David Cockrum is so happy to have all his characters back and is just drawing the shit out of them. They are so thrilled that they got to be reunited with Corsair.
01:27:50
Speaker
Yeah. It's very good. It's a heartwarming panel. Yeah. Yeah. I bet Cockrum's upset that he doesn't get, like Nightcrawler doesn't get to be there. But other than that, he's, yeah, he's still.
01:28:03
Speaker
Back aboard Araki's Shi'ar flagship, the prisoner Kitty Pryde is still loving the costume-making machine and exhausting her fellow inmate Nightcrawler. Admiral Samadar pops in on a video screen to update them on what happened to the X-Men.
01:28:18
Speaker
Cruelly, he cuts off the video feed just as Colossus is stabbed. Kitty is gripped in tears of rage as we see Samadar cut to his master, Deathbird, and reports on the X-Men's escape aboard the Starjammer's ship.
01:28:32
Speaker
What? He's working for Deathbird? No way Aboard Deathbird's ship, Professor X struggles out of his drug haze, filled with evil-looking alien creatures, only to find himself in a cell...
01:28:47
Speaker
with his true love lalandra oh oh he first sees her is what looks like um what looks like a brood who and he's like he's he's kind of confused by it and it's it's it's just it's interesting that he's having weird alien dreams again and more hesitations about the people that he meets or that that he psychically scans too because while he confirms that this is in fact lalandra He still feels uneasy in her arms.
01:29:18
Speaker
Yeah. As she explains about Colossus and apologizes for him, for Jean Grey, Deathbird arrives to gloat. Professor X learns that Deathbird is a cast out from a specialized Shi'ar warrior rank and rival of Lelandra's.
01:29:32
Speaker
Oh, she's a Shi'ar. Yeah, so like that's the thing. That's what I was referring to. Do you think Claremont even had an idea of Shi'ar? No, because he didn't even, because when they appeared in the X-Men...
01:29:46
Speaker
He didn't even call him Shi'ar at first. He clearly didn't have that much of a plan for them. Around that time he invented Deathbird. do you think he even slightly imagined the two were connected?
Corsair's Backstory and Starjammer
01:30:01
Speaker
I mean, she looks like a Shi'ar up and down. She's a bird lady. Right. But he wouldn't have designed her. Well, yeah, but um yeah, who knows?
01:30:16
Speaker
I figured it out. and
01:30:23
Speaker
Back on the Star Jammers ship, the Star Jammer, Corsair and Scott finally have the talk they've needed to have for 20 years. Major Christopher Summers was an Air Force test pilot returning from a family camping trip in Alaska to become an astronaut when they were attacked by an alien spacecraft.
01:30:41
Speaker
They sent the Summers boys out of the plane with a single parachute and were immediately kidnapped and taken to a Shi'ar zoo. Christopher escaped the slave pens to find his wife being assaulted by Emperor Daken and attacked him, getting himself arrested.
01:30:57
Speaker
Daken killed her in front of him. He was then sentenced to something called the Star Pits, where he met Raza, Ch'ad, and Hepzibah, escaped, and became the Star Jammers.
01:31:10
Speaker
Wow. At that moment the story, though, they're interrupted. The Starjammer has overtaken Deathbird's ship. As they prepare to board her, suddenly, we cut to a two-page spread of something utterly wild.
01:31:25
Speaker
In front is Deathbird's little green dildo ship, dwarfed in size by the Starjammer, a giant gold dildo ship roughly 20 times larger than it. And this, in turn, dwarfed by a giant red aquatic looking creature roughly a hundred times the size of it.
01:31:44
Speaker
The space whale is a massive organic creature with a wide open mouth full of small spikes leading off into a black void. Dotted across its red bumpy skin between its giant fins are little glass pods containing what look like small cities inside.
01:31:59
Speaker
As it seems ready to swallow the star jammer, looking on with its green glassy eyes, a weird pseudopod slaps against the ship, creating an airlock. Oof.
01:32:10
Speaker
it is It is a wild two pages. It's just like you you you look at this thing and you're like, holy fuck, what is this? it's so It's a living creature, too. It's so wild. Okay. Yeah.
01:32:25
Speaker
On the other side, some gray, scaly aliens low to the ground with four insect legs, beady yellow eyes, giant scorpion-like tails, and big flat heads leaning back over their bodies, weight with laser guns in their two tentacle hands.
01:32:40
Speaker
Okay, that was pretty good. But they're surprised when the airlock rockets off, slamming into them, revealing a fully healed colossus in the doorway, yelling for Deathbird.
01:32:51
Speaker
The Starjammers and X-Men follow behind him, charging the scaly insect things as they lash out with their alien from alien faces and fangs. Ja'ad, now with a little pink and white fur alien on his shoulder, calls these creatures Brood and tells Storm they are ruthless.
01:33:09
Speaker
As the fight rages on, the space whale bucks, and in the domed cities, armies of Brood discuss the ferocity of the Earthlings and demand they be taken alive as hosts for the Mother Queen. Whoa.
01:33:21
Speaker
Yeah, there's some deep fucking lore they're getting into these. So much. as Yeah, yeah. Every this is one of those things where every caption, every line of dialogue, there's something there's some new bit of information that you're like what? Wait, what? Wait, what the fuck?
01:33:37
Speaker
And it's all gross and terrifying.
01:33:42
Speaker
Aboard Deathbird's ship, three brood soldiers descend on Xavier and Lalandra, who are rescued at the last second by Cyclops and Corsair. With the gravity turned off to give the brood an advantage over the X-Men, Cyclops is taken by surprise when Xavier leaps over him, punching a brood soldier in the face.
01:34:01
Speaker
They have... Cyclops tries chides him for it, too. He's like, foolish, professor. We have a plan. And the professor's like, I'm sorry. Yeah. yeah yeah yeah Both teams reconvene in the weird half organic, half metal causeways of the space whale while elsewhere storm fights death bird.
01:34:21
Speaker
When storm is momentarily distracted by seeing that the ship there inside of can bleed. She's kicked through a sphincter in the hole by death bird and finds herself in the vacuum of space with the good guys back aboard the star jammer. They punch it straight through the hole of the whale and managed to grab storm before popping off into space. Yeah, they just punch the engines and fucking slam into the wall. Tear through its skin. Popping out the other side of its skin. it's It's a really wild moment.
01:34:51
Speaker
We find out, through Professor X and the Starjammers' sentient computer, Waldo, that the brood ship was incapacitated, allowing the heroes to escape, but that the Starjammer is also damaged.
01:35:02
Speaker
It will take 24 hours to repair and return to Earth, But Admiral Araki's deadline expires in six hours. To be continued. Whoa.
01:35:17
Speaker
Man. Yeah. There's something in this issue just like just hit me when you see. ah ah All the star jammers running it like Colossus bursts out.
01:35:33
Speaker
And then it's two waves of star jammers and X-Men running out ah behind him out of the airlock. And you can feel the action.
01:35:44
Speaker
Like it's so vivid. And do I don't know. There's just something about the way Cockrum draws where you can see almost almost like it's a moving picture.
01:35:56
Speaker
It's so... it's so Just fluid. Everybody. Yes. Everybody is is consistently caught in the middle of action.
01:36:07
Speaker
There's there's nobody. There's nobody who appears stationary at any point. Just follows so cleanly from panel to panel. And he does. He does a thing where it's like whoever whoever the focus is on there's generally somebody else in the background of that panel also in the midst of some kind of action.
01:36:28
Speaker
So you get the sense that like all the things you're seeing are happening at once. Yeah. It really, your eye gets pulled to the point and then zooms out and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
01:36:39
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. yeah So cool. um Yeah. I think whereas after burn, And when Cockrum came back, it felt like a step back storytelling wise.
01:36:52
Speaker
This feels like Claremont and Cockrum found their new rhythm and they both know exactly how to make what at this time was modern comics.
01:37:05
Speaker
With each other um and they're they're just back on it. They are they're back at at full power. Yeah, Matt, we have a full-fledged space opera on our hands. yeah Yes, yes, it's a good
Scientific Debate on Storm's Powers?
01:37:20
Speaker
time.
01:37:20
Speaker
i'll sayll I'll say so ah X-Men space opera is not my favorite X-Men. You keep saying that, but you're loving it every time we get to one. Yeah, you're right, you're right. Also, okay, you have a note here that we didn't talk about, which is which i I definitely i think we should discuss real quick.
01:37:37
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. We need to talk about Storm's powers in space. Yeah. Because the last time we were here in space, yeah Storm yes didn't have control of the elements because she wasn't on Earth.
01:37:56
Speaker
Or she didn't have control of like the weather elements, but she has control of elements around her. So she was using... cosmic wind which yeah scientifically is an entirely different thing but yes solar wind yeah she used that or yeah now she's in space creating snowstorms ah yeah and when she gets sucked out into the vacuum of space did she forget use a fucking solar wind and throw yourself back into that yeah
01:38:29
Speaker
i think I think that's good enough for a no prize. and All right. Mutantmenicepod at gmail.com. Please send me my no prize. Okay. Well, let's wrap up this little space opera here with Uncanny X-Men number 157, Hide Seek.
01:38:44
Speaker
hide and the seek
01:38:48
Speaker
Writer Chris Claremont. Artists Dave Cockrum and Bob Wyacek. Letterer Janice Chiang. Colorist Don Warfield. Editor Louise Jones. And it says here editor-in-chief is some guy named Jong Shongers?
01:39:03
Speaker
Release date February 1982. Cover date May The X-Men. And the Star Jammers work quickly as quickly as possible to repair the damage to their little gold dildo ship, hoping against hope that they can get into contact range of Earth and call off the destruction of Earth.
01:39:24
Speaker
Wolverine...
01:39:27
Speaker
Accidentally jettisons himself out into space. Whoops. But Cyclops and Hepzibah team up to save him. Yeah, she like leaps. Well, okay. This actually doesn't make much sense, does it? She leaps out and then throws him back to the ship.
01:39:44
Speaker
But then she's left without a way back. But she's left without. And now jettisoned into space. So Cyclops has to bounce his beams off of two conveniently placed pieces of debris. But.
01:39:55
Speaker
He it uses that spatial geometry brain. If Hepzibah is flying out. Gravityless. Yeah. Grabbing Wolverine. What.
01:40:07
Speaker
Force is she using with which to throw Wolverine back. At the ship. I think she's strong enough to like. Without leverage. Still take someone. And throw them.
01:40:22
Speaker
Like create your own. Force to toss them back towards the ship. Can you do that in. Weightless space. If you're floating in weightless space.
01:40:33
Speaker
Can you grab something. And. Throw it. In a direction. If you're so with okay, you're moving towards an object at a faster speed than it's traveling, right?
01:40:48
Speaker
Sure. You being Hepzibah and it being Wolverine. So you're traveling faster than it so that you can get up and catch shirt That part, of yeah. Is it possible physically for you to then change the direction of that object 180 degrees?
01:41:06
Speaker
Yes. Can you change the direction of that object? But you're still, yeah. Well, you're still being propelled. MenacePod at gmail.com if we have any physicists out there. Or if anyone wants to fly us to space so we can test it. And i me and Pat will throw each other around for a while. Ooh.
01:41:24
Speaker
We need to jettison ourselves into space.
01:41:29
Speaker
We'll have a Cyclops to bounce us back. Anyway. Once that whole ordeal is over, though, Colossus passes out. Oh. Back in the med bay, Sikorsky, the robot helicopter bug doctor, chides him for jumping right back in action without the required rest.
Brood's Plan and X-Men's Escape
01:41:46
Speaker
Gotta listen to the doctor. and Even if it's a flying bug robot. Back on the bridge, Lalandra, an apple a day, keeps the flying ah bug robot away. but I gotta start eating apples.
01:42:01
Speaker
Rich, Llandra explains that she's been repeatedly trying to contact Chancellor Araki, but no one is picking up the phone. And as we see the call being unanswered on the Shi'ar dreadnought, we pan out to see Araki lying dead on the floor while Admiral Lord Samadar hangs up the phone.
01:42:22
Speaker
He commands the crew aboard to prepare for the obliteration of Earth as the X-Men's deadline approaches. See, this is the 80s, Matt. They can't just text each other. They got a call.
01:42:35
Speaker
With the Star Jammer ship still stranded, x Xavier summons his psychic strength and attempts to reach across space to contact Kitty and Kurt. He reaches. Oh, is that why they chose this? Because both of them have K names.
01:42:49
Speaker
Oh, Kitty and Kurt. Kitty and Kurt.
01:42:55
Speaker
He reaches them briefly, but discovers something strange and foreign, also connecting and from within himself. What? Exploring the sensation.
01:43:08
Speaker
Okay, we don't need to watch ex Xavier explore his sensations within himself. When you're writing these recaps, there are only so many ways you can describe psychic.
01:43:21
Speaker
And so many of them are masturbatory. Exploring this sensation, x Xavier lets out a scream.
01:43:31
Speaker
In the real world, it is suddenly comatose. Yeah, we're back to this like Xavier's having weird alien dreams thing. Yeah, full force. x Xavier nightmare plot again.
01:43:42
Speaker
maybe he's got Maybe he's getting another girlfriend. I hope we get the evil green ex Xavier out of this.
01:43:50
Speaker
Meanwhile, in another part of space, the damaged living brood ship cruises along bleeding as the narrator explains that brood control him by removing his conscious mind and sending impulses of extreme pain and through his body.
01:44:04
Speaker
God Christ. This is like in that season. the final season of ah Breaking Bad. Where they needed, they just really needed these new, like, they killed all their major villains.
01:44:19
Speaker
So they needed these new guys to be so hateable. Yeah, so evil so fast. So they're like, okay, what if we have them be Nazis? Oh, and what if they have them, what if we have them kill a kid? Oh, what if we have them kill a girlfriend? Oh, what if we have them throw one of the main characters in a pit?
01:44:37
Speaker
And keep him as a slave. And it's like, okay, I already bought the brood as a villain. You didn't need to have them. Yo, season five of Breaking Bad involving a huge living spaceship, though.
01:44:55
Speaker
That would have been. Oh, my God. because we think
01:45:05
Speaker
I am the earthling who knocks. have friends Okay. So they control the space whales by sending extreme pain through their body aboard the living ship aboard the living ship.
01:45:16
Speaker
The brood beat death bird for her failure on earth. the Lalandra has been lost and the brood have suffered heavy casualties of both warriors and breeders. They've got warriors.
01:45:27
Speaker
They've got breeders. They've got mothers. That's what we know. Deathbird escapes her punishment by proposing a new plan. She shows the brood the genetic information she's gathered on the X-Men. Why does she have this?
01:45:42
Speaker
And offers to capture them. The brood starts drooling at the idea they would make perfect servants of the mother of us all. Oh, there's a supreme mother.
01:45:53
Speaker
Back to the so Shiar ship, Kitty and Kurt... Kitty and Kurt are ready to make their move now that Kurt has finished inventing a handheld version of the costume generator.
01:46:03
Speaker
You can do that. Jesus Christ. Kitty makes herself a spacesuit. This is her best costume, by the way. Yes. Oh, it rules. Yeah, it's um it's like a yellow and red full body suit with like a mask over her.
01:46:19
Speaker
She looks like a comic book assassin. Yes. It's cool. And eventually she'll become a comic book assassin and won't look this cool even then. Spoilers, Matt. Sorry. Knowing the ship's layout perfectly, she phases through the hull ah oh and back in through an airlock right next to their cell door.
01:46:39
Speaker
Several guards stand outside talking about their plan to open the door and start blasting until everyone inside is dead. Kitty. Yes. It's just a wacky plan. They're like, look, if we hesitate at all, these guys are going to be too fast for us. Just open the doors and blast. Just fire your gun. As soon as the doors open, you're bound to hit them.
01:47:05
Speaker
And the idea of talking about that out loud while right outside that door yeah it's like, okay, I'm going to open the door. You start firing your gun.
01:47:16
Speaker
Then I'm going to start firing my gun.
01:47:20
Speaker
Whose gun do I fire? Okay, let me start again from the beginning.
01:47:31
Speaker
So Kitty charges in as they open the door, phasing through the guards and shorting out their advanced combat armor, giving Kurt all the time he needs to bamf around and punch the guards into submission.
01:47:44
Speaker
My armor. Oh, no. They rush off to find Araki only to find him dead, knowing that the admiral was responsible. Their only hope now is to find the Imperial Guard and hope they're at least still loyal to Lalandra.
01:48:02
Speaker
On to bridge, the admirable, the the admiral stands with the Imperial Guard, giving the command to fire their missiles at every major population center on Earth. Oof.
01:48:13
Speaker
The crew are all a bit uneasy, knowing that their original mission was only to use the force necessary to free Lalandra. But with the Chancellor missionh missing, they defer the ad Admiral and start locking onto their targets.
01:48:28
Speaker
Suddenly, smoke starts to rise everywhere in a series of small explosions that smell of brimstone and with a big bamf! The Phoenix... is suddenly standing in the middle of the room.
01:48:42
Speaker
What? The Dark Phoenix. Raised from the dead and threatening to release her full wrath, she warns the Admiral against attacking her home planet. With another bamf, she disappears as the Imperial Guards start to panic.
01:48:59
Speaker
Gladiator calls for a psychic scan of the entire ship from Oracle, but before she can, she disappears. Across the dreadnought, we see Nightcrawler and Oracle both reeling from heavy teleporting.
01:49:13
Speaker
all The phoenix suddenly phases through the wall and starts bragging about her convincing performance. She explains that she's actually Kitty so Oracle.
01:49:25
Speaker
And after some psychic confirmation, Oracle calls Gladiator and Starbolt to her location. Nareal Irie... That big furry guy with gills from before.
01:49:37
Speaker
Fins on his big head. He also follows and they all agree to at least try to contact the Star Jammer to make sure this is all legit. No need though. Warstar.
01:49:49
Speaker
Warstar is such a pervert.
01:49:53
Speaker
you ever think about that? About when you see Warstar and it's just like one big guy with a little guy just like strapped inside his back. Like, look at these fucking perverts. I didn't see it sexually, but I see it's gross now that you say it.
01:50:10
Speaker
ah So Warstar bursts in at that moment, revealing that him and a bunch of other Imperial Guards people are on the admirable admirable side, and they're here to kill them all.
01:50:21
Speaker
They all start fighting as Kitty, now dressed like Peter Pan. Uh...
01:50:27
Speaker
she's She's a kid. It's so great. She's just a kid who's just like playing dress up all she can. and yeah. yeah it risk It reacts to her thoughts. So she's just like, I'm Peter Pan now.
01:50:39
Speaker
and Like, oh, if I'm going to fight for like, I'm going to possibly die. going to wear some weird dresses and dress like some literary characters. This is going to be fun.
01:50:51
Speaker
This is my favorite Broadway show. see She's just, it's just so fun how how much of a kid she is. So now she's dressed like Peter Pan and she rushes off to find and hack into the central computer.
01:51:06
Speaker
she's She's going, I'm in. And disable the weapons aimed at Earth. The admirable. I can't stop saying admirable. and not i was At one point I was like, i'm going to play it off like I did it on purpose.
01:51:21
Speaker
And then I just keep doing it. The admirable, watching the Imperial Guard battle from a monitor, deploys a brood weapon and knocks out everyone in the room. Kitty locates the central computer, but even in her phasing form, she's taken out by the machine's defenses.
01:51:36
Speaker
The admirable orders the attack, and the cannons fire at Earth, aiming right at the major fault lines of the Pacific Ocean at the speed of light. But faster than the speed of flight, the Starjammer dildo ship skids from warp space into the path of the cannon fire and,
01:51:55
Speaker
ah yeah but you know, it intercepts the laser. Intercepts. Yeah, it does it. It does the intercepting of um because that's because that's and that's how they save the day.
01:52:08
Speaker
So it's perfectly time and angled so that no one takes any damage. Yeah, it's okay. it's This is how heroes do it. ah With the comms unjammed, Lalandra appears before the admirable.
Xavier's Condition and Future Concerns
01:52:21
Speaker
Jesus, like, honestly, i can't stop. Yeah, you tried that time. Lalandra appears before the admiral and Imperial Guard remotely takes back her throne.
01:52:34
Speaker
We all had to do that during COVID.
01:52:43
Speaker
I did it over zoom. She does it it through a hollow projection. It's like, how do I turn off this filter?
01:52:53
Speaker
I am still your Empress. And she's a fish swimming around.
01:53:05
Speaker
She remotely takes back her throne and then orders the arrest of the Admiral. Hear how hard I had to hit that?
01:53:14
Speaker
Cyclops, Lalandra, and Corsair discuss this strange new danger of the brood, a threat that none of them are familiar with. Could be trouble. For now, though. Everyone's okay, except for x Xavier.
01:53:27
Speaker
His body is fine, but his mind may have been completely irrevocably destroyed. Xavier lies motionless in a dead but fearful stare with seemingly no brain activity.
01:53:41
Speaker
End. End. Whoa. All right. That's a bad ending. Well, it's not bad. It's not bad as in badly written, but bad as in man, I don't like it.
01:53:54
Speaker
Yeah, I feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. This doesn't, it just, it doesn't feel like a win. No. Right? the they lose Xavier again. uh,
01:54:05
Speaker
didn't really overcome the issue. was kind of a a series of lucky guesses and good timing, I guess. Right. Well, Kitty and Kurt, I think, triumphed over their adversary.
01:54:21
Speaker
Kitty doesn't. She tries to hack in and stop the weapons, but she gets zapped instead. well that's yeah The Star Jammer has to come in and ultimately intercept the deadly plasma cannon.
01:54:34
Speaker
Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right. That's true. it's But their play they're I guess I'm just thinking of their initial plan. And like it's such a good plan to not only knock everybody out ah like off of their alpha balance by doing the Phoenix thing, but also then to kidnap Oracle, the only one who can help them. at Just as gladiators like, Oracle, the figure this out. And then poof, she's gone. like it's it was just It was such a good plan.
01:55:03
Speaker
Yeah, well executed. It's just it did it doesn't work. It's like Indiana Jones. Sure, yeah. I was going to say The Last Jedi since we're loving Star Wars references today. Right, right.
01:55:18
Speaker
Where like they go on that casino heist mission and you just assume that the luck is is going to work out or that like, okay, yeah, this is how it goes. They have the plan down. They've got everything in place and then it just it just doesn't work yeah it's kind of crazy it sets them up for one of two things right either they're gonna come back like like the x-men do right and having been underestimated by their foes they're gonna come back like they're gonna burst in and fuck everything up hey it's those pesky x-men right or things are just gonna keep going downhill
01:55:59
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. It almost feels like we're in one of those cycles where they get home from one mission and the the next problem is already starting just yeah continually for months at a time.
01:56:11
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. One funny note from this issue. Yeah. One of the people kidnapped. little Lalandra keeps referring to one of her captains that's been kidnapped as well. And his name is Captain Kirk.
01:56:26
Speaker
okay atrohe arc K. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's cute. There's also ah a cool. So we meet. What what was his fucking name?
01:56:38
Speaker
Nareel Iree? Yeah, we meet Nareel Iree, but we also meet another Imperial Guard member called Webwing, who's just like an octopus made of webs.
01:56:50
Speaker
Yes. And he just like sucks up somebody. Yeah! He rules. Yeah, seems really useful in a battle. hole I don't know that we ever see Webwing again, but I love Webwing.
01:57:05
Speaker
Unfortunately, he tries to eat Kitty Pryde. Yeah, so he's he's not our friend. But i I love him. He's an anti-hero. He's like the Punisher. i didn't um Yeah.
01:57:21
Speaker
So it's a little space opera. it's ah it's ah it's ah It's a depressing little space opera we just went through. And it it seems to be good to setting up more space opera. Because now, what's up with the brood? It is...
01:57:37
Speaker
The Shia Empire secure. They're still the X-Men are still with the Star Jammers away from home. Well, I guess they're at Earth. Yeah, yeah.
01:57:48
Speaker
So what's going on with Professor X? Yeah, yeah. lot to be worried about here. Yeah. Probably the X-Men will just all die and be gone and be dead.
01:58:03
Speaker
And then our curse is lifted.
01:58:07
Speaker
So. ah Matt, what do you think? What is was what do your thinks what are your on this run? yeah I think I like kind of just touched on it. Just like this idea of like, this is this is just a really...
01:58:21
Speaker
Dark little space play, right? Yeah. Like it's got dark space Hamlet kind of, right? Like it's got it emperor. It's got like some political overthrowing. It's got sword play, sword play. Well, not sword play, but swashbucklers, swashbuckling ah ah deaths, big, big freaking dildos.
01:58:43
Speaker
Yeah. Everything we like about Hamlet. how like How about you? yeah Oh, it even has a ghost. It even has ghost of Phoenix. Yeah, I don't know. um
01:58:56
Speaker
Definitely knowing that the Brood Saga is coming up, right? The what? This feels like ah like ah like a primer, right? Like this feels like a mini arc scene.
01:59:09
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Remember what the X-Men are capable of versus aliens. Right. And I don't want to keep calling everything set up for the next thing because that is kind of how Claremont works. But these are stories in and of themselves, right? Like you were pointing out earlier, everything can't be an intermission.
01:59:30
Speaker
But so this is, I think, a complete tale. But it is building a world that they clearly he clearly intends to expand on very shortly.
01:59:42
Speaker
um What's up with Professor x Xavier? How about you? How did you feel about this? I felt really good, honestly. i have Like, yeah we're absolutely in agreement that it's it's ending in a weird place, and we kind of... We don't like it for story reasons. Yeah, we don't like how it makes us feel, but we like it as a piece of art.
02:00:05
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. But i I was engaged. Like, this is this is so dense, as evidenced by our recaps here. Just so much happens...
02:00:17
Speaker
in each panel in each issue, but there's not like, there's not a wasted moment. It's like, it's like watching the wire. Right. Right. Right. The other thing, and I know, i know I said this, but just like we in the X-Men,
02:00:33
Speaker
haven't seen somebody do large-scale action like dave cockram right right he really just he knows how to make it so vivid and real and
Art Style Appreciation and Retro Ads
02:00:45
Speaker
beautiful and yeah just fluid it's like you're watching it it's like you're watching happen in a movie It's really, yeah really well done.
02:00:55
Speaker
And he could just fit so much into a page to the way that George Perez can. Right. Yeah, sure. Man, I would have loved to see Dave Cockrum do like a big crossover, like one of those big superhero crossovers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
02:01:26
Speaker
cow. Oh, okay yeah, folks. It's time for Pat Steels and Deals. ah Today we got a fun one. I'm just going to read some copy to you. It starts with, go get a magnifying glass now.
02:01:41
Speaker
ah stare at the most horrible monster of all time. ah comic book can't show all the details of CMM's Tyrannosaurus Rex t-shirt.
02:01:52
Speaker
That's why you need a magnifying glass, I guess, to imagine what it looks like when it's bigger. What? The bright white fangs and claws, red tongue and eyes, horrid green and yellow body.
02:02:03
Speaker
Rex covers almost your entire chest on durable, extra long wear, four color black shirts. wait They'd sell in stores at much higher prices. Be one of the thousands wearing these thrilling shirts today.
02:02:17
Speaker
Show this to your family and friends. They make great Christmas presents. New from CMM, they'll be howling withal at our new werewolf shirt. It's just a shirt. It's a t-shirt.
02:02:28
Speaker
with A t-shirt with a T-Rex on it. With a T-Rex on it. That's it. based on the design here, not a particularly well-drawn T-Rex. No. Okay. ok Show your family. Show this to your family in front. You're wearing it as a T-shirt. You're showing it to everybody.
02:02:47
Speaker
I think they want you to show the ad to your family and friends. So they all get you this for Christmas. And as everyone knows, T-Rexes, red tongue and eyes, horrid green and yellow body. And we can tell that. yellow body And that's the thing is that when you look at fossils, you can tell what color their tongues and eyes and bellies were.
02:03:07
Speaker
I will say, true to this true to the description, when I look at this illustration of a T-Rex, I do think horrid.
02:03:16
Speaker
Yeah, because what's that front leg doing? It's just like a triangle. Why are the scales that are closest to us so much smaller than the scales that are farthest from us?
02:03:30
Speaker
and And I know T-Rexes have small arms, but... That small?
02:03:39
Speaker
like It's just like hands coming out of his chest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like on little like us like noodles. They're like noodles with little hands.
02:03:51
Speaker
The werewolf shirt is intriguing, though, because they don't actually show you the image. It's just a silhouette. Silhouette, yeah. I'd be like, oh, I got to see what that werewolf shirt looks like. Let me buy it. If I, here's, just looking at this again. If I saw those arms on this T-Rex, I'd try to wipe them off.
02:04:07
Speaker
If I met this T-Rex, I'd be like, oh, you got something on. Oh, oh my God, I'm sorry. Oh, those were your arms. And a big head on a tiny neck, too. Big head, yeah. be hard to hold that up.
02:04:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, he's like a, Anyway, lollipopys he's also chunky. He's got chunky middle. You have the option of a short sleeve or long sleeve.
02:04:30
Speaker
Short sleeve $5.50. Okay. $1982, which 2025 dollars out to about $18.48. All Not nineteen eighty two dollars which in twenty twenty five dollars comes out to about eighteen dollars and forty eight cents all right not bad Not bad for a mail-in t-shirt.
02:04:44
Speaker
No. Long sleeve comes out to $8.50 each, which translated to today comes to about $28.56 for a long sleeve t-shirt.
02:04:56
Speaker
No, I wouldn't pay that. yeah That's a bad deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. $18.48 t-shirt. and Okay. Yeah. It's durable, extra long wear.
02:05:08
Speaker
Do you believe that though? I do. Yeah, yeah. this They made things to last back then. Okay. All right. Cool. You can buy so many t-shirts from the 70s and eighty s but you can't buy t-shirts from 2015. Right, right. Yeah. i have I have concert t-shirts from when I was ah in my 20s that are now like absolute tatters. And I wore them maybe, what, 12 times?
02:05:36
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I don't want this. It's a deal in steel. Yeah, it's stealing from me because it ain't no deal. Hey, Pat, ah it says here to stare at the most horrible monster of all the all time.
02:05:52
Speaker
um It says in order to do that, you've got to get a magnifying glass. but ah Maybe it means you should get a mirror.
Engagement and Social Media Call to Action
02:05:59
Speaker
He's an eye out, that could buy out. If you had time machine that you would like to try out, it can't steal, steal.
02:06:12
Speaker
Oh boy, folks, with that, i I guess we're all out of things to say, except for, of course, please listen to us if you're not already. die yeah We have to let them know. after that letter If you're not listening right now, please be listening.
02:06:30
Speaker
Please follow us on Instagram at MutantMenacePod. Please like us. Please rate us. Just do what it takes to help people. See us? Find us?
02:06:42
Speaker
because the important thing You're usually better at this part. it's It's not just that we want... It's not just for our the glory of our egos or whatever. It's we know that there are people out there who would would like the show if they knew it existed.
02:06:55
Speaker
And don't just don't even know it exists. Right? um So, you know, if everybody who could be a fan of us hears this, hears this, and it's like, um I don't like... I don't love this.
02:07:07
Speaker
That's fine. But we know that hasn't happened. and There's people who would love this who need your help in finding it. That's right. And it if each one of them sent us a dollar, we'd be rich.
02:07:22
Speaker
Hold on. How many dollars do you think it takes to get rich?
02:07:31
Speaker
At least a hundred. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're scratching that right now.
02:07:40
Speaker
please, please write into Pat's email corner, mutantmenacepod at gmail.com, whatever you want to talk about. Just get on there. And you follow us on Instagram, mutantmenacepod.
02:07:55
Speaker
said that. You fucking bastard. You can check out our discord. There'll be a link in the show notes. Yeah. I want to say thank you to Krils Wilson yeah for our music and Julia Selle for the voice of Trish Tilby.
02:08:11
Speaker
Pat, I don't know what else we want to say to people before we play the outro music. Yeah, I think just the one thing we say at the end of every episode, Matt, which remember, it's a terrible thing to have your life turned upside down.
02:08:30
Speaker
Yes, yes, and don't forget, I'm always as quiet as a mouse when I'm busting heads!