Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Chamber of Reason, episode 44. Today, ah Derek and i are holding court, I guess you'd put it, without Pierce.
Speaker: And our guest of honor today is North American funny man, Jay Weingarten. that Is that accurate? Hello. Yeah, that's a person. So far, so good.
Speaker: Yeah, off to a really just a perfect start, Matthew. Not rocky, right? It's clear as day what's happening right now. Well, not quite. Well, not exactly, right?
Speaker: I mean, I'd like if you said a little more. Well, I'm sure a lot of the listeners don't know this, but we mainly record at around 11 a.m. m Pacific Standard Time, which translates to 2 p.m.
Speaker: Eastern Standard Time, which is fairly early in the day, even... on the East Coast, even though that's afternoon, it's still early in the afternoon. But tonight and I've already kind of revealed something to you. But tonight we're actually recording at night. Tonight they immediately. Oh, it's a nighttime episode. I revealed it early as sort of an Easter egg trick for the people who are really a little reward for the people who are paying attention. Spoiler alert. It's at night.
Speaker: It's nice. And to maybe invite people even further into the scene, um we all have our lights off. Our faces are only illuminated by the glow of the laptop and some candles. I think, have we all lit in a candle or is it just me and Matthew?
Speaker: We've all lit in a candle. I think we have a total of three. We have a total of three. I actually have four candles in front of me, but I've only lit in one. Was I in the wrong for saying Lytton?
Speaker: You're wrong. okay We'll edit it out. Don't worry. Listen, it won't happen again. i wish you i wish you hadn't even asked that. can i Was I wrong for asking that to? That's where you went wrong.
Speaker: okay you should never second guess your language, your use of language. thing Things are a bit different at night, and I would say. right Yeah, I've never accidentally said Litten during the day. I've noticed that we're not very lucid.
Speaker: How late do you guys normally stay up? Oh, God. Till the rooster croak or the the rooster croaks. Yeah. The rooster fully passes away. Yeah. Because the rooster, the rooster is born in the early morning and then makes that classic sound. And then late at night, the rooster finally passes away. Yeah.
Speaker: Can you imagine if roosters had a lifespan of one day? it's hard to imagine. Because we know for a fact that it takes years for a rooster to finally get sick and die. It's easy to imagine, but it's hard to accept. easy to like. Yeah, once you get attached to... what do they I'm not going to go there, but I guess sometimes people call them... Cocks. Yeah.
Speaker: That's not what they're there. Well, we can go there I don't want to say too much about this, but, you know, the the the crowing of the rooster in the morning wood. me so There's something there, right?
Speaker: A cock rises in the morning and a rooster... Well, or and a cock also rises in the morning.
Speaker: The bladder, which pushes down on... The rooster's throat. Yeah. And then.
Speaker: Because of all the liquid in the bladder, it forces that sound out.
Speaker: But it doesn't actually feel good to have sex until after you've done that. Oh, so you fully released all the until you release come purposes. The release all about that release. y'all That's the most important part of intercourse for you guys. The release. No. For me, it's about the process.
Speaker: Yeah, I like that. All about that. Pro foreplay. How long? I got all day, buddy. I don't have much going on feel like i ah It goes on and on. I could do foreplay for 10 hours if I want to. it could last It could last days or weeks. I mean, if you include like all the texting and sort of You know, if you if you have like a calendar, you know, and you're kind of like creating a calendar invite or a Google Meet invite, i can know all that stuff takes time.
Speaker: Makes the sex so good if you do it for a long time. It's sort of like when you're about to punch someone and you like rotate your fist, you sort of do a wind up for like an hour.
Speaker: And then you release the punch and it really they could actually kill them. Their head would fly off for an hour. Their head would fly off for an hour. Well, normally you only wind up for like a second.
Speaker: ah you You wind up probably like four or five times and then you punch. But if you wind up for a straight hour, got to kill them. I see someone winding up at any point. I'm out of there. I'm not waiting to be punched. Yeah. If they're winding up their fist, and I would walk away.
Speaker: We fight videos online, you know, on different websites that and it's all gratuitous nonsense. can I avoid at all costs. But when it flashes across my eyes, I I'm always thinking, yeah, these villains are the perpetrators are not really almost never wind. That's true.
Speaker: And that's why their punches don't hurt. yeah it's It's rare. And that's why they can put it online. hmm. Either that or they're hiding the whole kind of backstage process where they probably do a lot of winding at home. I think a lot of guys do that. They like wind at home hours and hours and then they go to the bar and get into a street fight that happens quick. Well, kind of deceptively quickly.
Speaker: They're winding for hours. They're winding on the Uber. As soon as they walk in the bar, they stop winding just to give the illusion That their arm is... Yeah, my arm is unloaded. It's unloaded. Yeah.
Speaker: That's the problem. You gotta... I mean, these guys... It's the same principles guys who kind of ah jack off before a date. Oh, wait, no. Is that the same principle? Are you supposed to jack off to completion before a date or... Yeah.
Speaker: To completion. Yeah, you are supposed to do that, I believe. You're supposed to.
Speaker: Most people don't, like, check...
Speaker: People do it because then they're not thinking about sex. But the thing is, men think about sex every six or eight set or seven. think it's seven. Yeah. Seven, six, seven. seven And so men are thinking about sex, whether we do whether we do the deed or not before we go on our dates.
Speaker: So I don't really get it. When you're actually doing the deed, thinking about sex every seven seconds is kind of low right if you're actually if you're in the midst of intercourse and you think about it every seven seconds i think that's right though you're chi i don't think you're able to think about sex more or less so if you're having sex you can still only think of it every seven seconds right it would be impressive concentration focus mindfulness if you're really able to think about it consistently during the whole yeah act and i yeah i actually think that is accurate for me because i suffer from a condition
Speaker: known as ah premature ejaculation. And so I have to think, or I have to say in my head a lot, things like baseball, baseball, you know. And so, yeah, I would probably be saying that six out of the seven seconds, so I don't release, which is the thing, of course, I'm looking forward to.
Speaker: And that's the whole reason why we do that stuff. But you can't release too soon because the woman... Or guy. If it's a woman. If it's a woman, they wouldn't like it. Yeah, they frown upon that. And that's what I'm trying to avoid. Actually, if it's a guy, he might not care that much.
Speaker: He might be more understanding. hu Doesn't everyone just kind of prefer premature ejaculation? That'd be awesome for me if that's the case. So, yeah, say if you do in the comments, if you prefer that. How premature, like before you've touched it?
Speaker: Oh, I guess that would be too premature. Yeah, that's a big problem for most. Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, as long as there's some contact, it's all it should be fine. Yeah. As long as you're able to achieve contact and achieve erection.
Speaker: If you're able to achieve erection and contact. and you achieve orgasm it's good it's all good yeah you you orgasm before the release before you you orgasm before you have a premature ejaculation is that what you said that would be a premature uh orgasm the orgasm would be premature and in that case you're allowed to orgasm before you uh yeah i think partners don't care if you orgasm
Speaker: The ejaculation is the issue. Yeah. If you if you're having sex and you say, I just orgasmed, your partner will say, and yeah, so what well did you actually ejaculate in me? Because if not, why are you even telling me this? This is information irrelevant.
Speaker: as shao I'm focused on my own orgasm. Thank you very much. hmm. That's what I'm thinking about. If I'm not, if I'm thinking about baseball. then that's one that's to stop it and then when I'm thinking about finishing or completion, that's thinking about my orgasm.
Speaker: Yeah. Think about your upcoming orgasm that might or might not happen. Don't think about your partner. They're a means to an end. No, we're playing a character that is not true.
Speaker: This is sarcastic. We're not like that. We actually have empathy. or many others. So stop if you orgasm too fast, you don't have your it's kind a sociopath test. Yeah.
Speaker: When I orgasm too fast, I express my empathy right away. i completely understand what you're going through. but it must be sticky for you, huh?
Speaker: I've had so much. I've been in your shoes. Have you been with a a woman who had a premature orgasm? Oh my God. That's a really good question, Derek. Yeah, I think I have.
Speaker: Now that I think about it. Yeah. If you really think about it. Yeah. Really think about it. i just started thinking about it. Thanks for bringing that to mind. Have you Derek? What's that? Have you?
Speaker: No. Always hard one. Always hard one. Oh, A lot of effort, but... No orgasm, you're saying? or Yeah, a lot of time. The partner always has specifically one orgasm with you.
Speaker: it During the whole relationship. One and done. that's That's what I say. One orgasm and then... break up this coast. Yeah. The experience of being alive is just one long protracted orgasm with peaks and valleys worse. And what way?
Speaker: Well, it just feels so amazing. Oh, it feels good. be it Living creature. That's awesome, man. Happy for you. This is just so an orgasm must feel really good for you, dude.
Speaker: but Orgasm is one of the peaks of the experience. That's awesome. Having an orgasm in the middle of an orgasm. And in the middle of the orgasms, there's kind of mini orgasms that are below conscious perception.
Speaker: It's sort of a fractal. And if you sneeze, you know, if you sneeze, it's about an eighth of an orgasm. So. <unk> So is that you can add on to that's been a 3.5 grams.
Speaker: with an a um um But I was like, I told little stoner thought of that. dude Only stoners think about sneezes.
Speaker: This is a nighttime event this is a nighttime episode our minds are in the gutter we're thinking of cannabis products no let's change the topic yeah okay um let's get back on track guys let's get back on track yeah seriously my adhd brain is it's been hours since you had your medication right it's nighttime you're you're normally preparing for sleep you're unmedicated right now i'm unmedicated damn dude so excuse my foibles
Speaker: I'm happy for the listeners. They get to be a fly on the wall to Matthew unmedicated. have real me. Thank God. None of that slick nationalism that I know. you i've I've been thinking like on your Twitter and like social media, like It's time to yeah kind to drop the act, but I feel like now is a perfect time. Maybe you write during the day.
Speaker: so Take off the chains. It's time. Let's reveal everything. so Let's reveal everything. Matthew um and Jay, both to both of you, I have a question related to nighttime.
Speaker: um What is your favorite nighttime animal? Are panthers? do pan Do panthers exist at night? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, it's a good it's a good answer. Black Panthers to Black Panthers. Yeah, Black Panthers come out. You're thinking of really they really exist at night. You're thinking of like the eyes like kind of floating in the darkness.
Speaker: Yeah. When you're walking down the street and you see floating Panther Golden Panthers eyes. Ooh, gives me the shivers. Yeah. Hebe jeebies. When I see that, I think i it must be nighttime.
Speaker: It must be late. There's Panthers. I think that was the night shot in... ah Not to be a total movie nerd, but that Panther in... ah Remember in 2001 where the Panthers' eyes were like fucking bright as the as the sun. They were blazing bright. Is that true? There's Panthers at the end? That was a cinema reference. And I hate references because then I isolate many people who have not yet seen 2001. But...
Speaker: but Yeah. It's been out for over two decades. People should go watch it. They're not obligated, though. It's been out since 2001, yo. Get it, Criterion Collection, Subscription, and go watch 2001.
Speaker: Just do it, people. You're gonna grow. You'll learn about what Kubrick made. Not everyone gets to know that. Yeah. a lot of people know they've read the IMDb. They've read his wiki. They know the god they know about the guy, but what did he make?
Speaker: Yeah, they might personally have known him. They might have been good friends with him, but that doesn't mean they knew what he made. hey What did he made? 2001, man. He made 2001. Simple as that.
Speaker: He made it with ease. He made it with relative ease. Didn't take much out of him to make that, I don't think. Did it? Were there any negative consequences he suffered from making that?
Speaker: No, like that's what I was going to say is that Panther. I think that was like CGI or something. I don't even know how cool. Dang. It was probably just a split second decision.
Speaker: If there was already a Panther on set. All right. Somebody point a camera at that thing. Yeah, just move the camera. Yeah. It was probably just like the pink panther it was next door and could see. Right. Oh, and then they paint it black.
Speaker: There's no way he thought of that in advance. That sort of it was made around the same a month and year as Pink Panther, right? Yeah, leave it was a major cultural phenomenon like Barbenheimer. It was around the same ah or this a similar idea as Barbenheimer.
Speaker: Right. So they're kind of linked in that thematic forever linked. But both are really good, dude. They both. A lot of people don't know, but they came out the same year.
Speaker: It's not just that they had the same name or it's not just that they had similar names. but They also came out the same. Barbenheimer or what what are the two names? Barbenheimer and Barben.
Speaker: Shit. Yeah, they have the same name. Yeah, that was the whole issue. It's unusual to release two movies with this the same name. Like you think in Hollywood, people know each other. i call my people, you call i know your people. They say, hey, we got the same name of a movie like.
Speaker: Come on. Someone said, let's just roll with it because ours is pink and yours is kind of brown and gray. Totally. Actually, if you did watch both movies, they have ah distinct storylines.
Speaker: So they're not the same movie except for the titles. That's probably what they figured. People will be able to distinguish these from the storylines and characters. So let's not stress too much about the name. It you to see both.
Speaker: Right. To find out what happens. But also, yeah, the Pink Panther is similar to Barbie because Barbie, is practically always wearing pink when i see her and practically and then 2001 is like other barbenheimer because it's like um science and you know action philosophy panther all of the stuff that we like one is a guy's movie all right just say it
Speaker: Which one? Barbenheimer is for men and bar other one is for women. yeah wow I'm bad for saying that.
Speaker: Barbenheimer is for the blokes. Let's just face it Yeah. And you know, i know which one you're your're referring to. me too. The one I like. That one. boy. The one watch.
Speaker: Yep. We watched that, man. We watched that. Like, i i'll come I'll come through later. Yeah, we all watched that together. Yeah, man Back in the day. And we will again and again.
Speaker: i mean, that's the great thing about night is that it just goes on and on and on. It goes on. More and more night than there ever was of day. More and more.
Speaker: It feels that way. Yeah, is that is that happening? I think it's escalating, yeah. When you get deeper into the night, it's sort of like the line between what's real and what's fantasy, or even nightmare, I would say, kind of begins to blur.
Speaker: Oh, God. At night, that's when you're liable to see some Barbies come out to play. Oh, my God. Barbies are coming. We're real. um We're real now.
Speaker: Not cool to see at night, Matthew. Yeah. And it doesn't ever does it remind you guys are chun Chunky Chucky? Dude. Chunky. Chunky.
Speaker: Chunky. Reminds me of Chunky Chunky. Chunky. That's kind of a cool little twist on Chucky. I don't know. let's i think there's something there. Yeah, it could be like a nice um body positive.
Speaker: Film. Right. if Chucky. It's trendy. It's trending. That's trendy, man. You like where your head's at. It has bit more stuffing, right? He's a more filled.
Speaker: The doll. Or is he a plastic doll is he stuffed like cloth? I think he's plastic. He's plastic. Let me see. Do you guys mind pausing the show while I look up Chucky? That's not good for the environment. I'll just be the first one to say it. Sorry ah if the Chucky creators are are listening.
Speaker: But I don't know. They probably already felt like they made a body positive doll because some people already look like that and it would make them feel good to see that in a movie.
Speaker: I would pray to not have my worst enemy see anyone that looks like chunk Chucky or Chunky. would you do? Because it was scary, right?
Speaker: We get scared when we see those things, when we see Chunky. Well, chung I mean, not not during the daytime. This is night, I mean, again. I'm in night mode right now, y'all. I don't want to keep coming back to that point, but it it just bears repeating. It's scarier to see Chunky at night.
Speaker: this is During the day, he's just a normal little boy. i wouldn't go that far, Derek. Oh, is that true? I've actually never seen this doll, or I've never seen this doll move.
Speaker: Yeah, I've yet to see it. In the world, he's a young real boy. In our world, he's a real boy. In the scary world of night, he's something quite different.
Speaker: But Chucky would be the least of your concerns because there are all kinds of scary things of of the night. What could what could possibly get us? Dude, three perfectly.
Speaker: Totally fine guys. Come on, man. We have our limits. Have you ever been walking in the woods and you heard an owl? Yes. Yeah. OK, Derek, I've heard an owl. OK, well, there you go.
Speaker: What is your point, Derek? It's a harbinger of things to come. It's the night. It's scary. i don't It's scary to hear an owl in the woods when you're alone. Not if you really think about it.
Speaker: Yeah. Try to do that when you have the night coming down on you like that. Try to be rational when you can't even see everything.
Speaker: Whatever. i guess that's true. Look, I have an advantage. Okay. And I'll just tell you right now. I'll be real. i There are owls that live or who live in my neighborhood.
Speaker: And so in a way, I've been conditioning myself slowly over time to, yeah, overcome this, Derek. And um I guess what I'm saying is, yeah, expand your horizons.
Speaker: Well, it's not that you're afraid of owls, and I don't think anyone's afraid of owls. But again, I said owls are a harbinger of things to come. So what I mean is that you hear the owl's hoot, and then you know that something scary will happen afterwards, and it has nothing to do with the owl.
Speaker: The owl is just around because it's night. Everything is a harbinger of things to come but yeah in that sense. Everything happens before the things that are about to come. Yeah, it's all linear, dude.
Speaker: on We've established this, that our world happens in chronological order. Yeah. One thing, then the next thing. Yep. Next, next.
Speaker: An owl can't possibly scare me. There's yes. What you brought up, Jay, the exposure therapy that you've been doing, which is helpful. Slowly. It's been helping. Thank you. But you can also just use your rationality.
Speaker: And when you realize that. Uh, Well, a lot of people don't know this because a lot of people think that owls are wise, but they're actually unintelligent.
Speaker: Excuse me. Yeah, they're not bright. They're not brightest bulb in the bucket. I call bait. ah Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. You're really didn't getting my goat with that Well, we. you just I'm just joking around. Not everything has to be bait.
Speaker: I know bait, right? You were joking around when you said owls aren't intelligent? He was rage baiting me. was just trying to get a laugh from you guys. I think I remember a cartoon where an owl is wearing a graduation cap and like a little, like ah a wand that the professor uses to hit the blackboard. Have you seen this cartoon? ah Yeah, i have.
Speaker: Okay, so... What about it? You guys have both seen this? Oh, yeah. I mean, I feel like this is turning into a bit of a media podcast, with talking about 2001 and one and in cartoons, and I know that i brought up at least one of them, but I really wanted to talk more about how it's nighttime right now.
Speaker: Yeah, no more media references from here on out. Right, guys? No more media references. I'm the only one who gave my favorite animal. I gave it. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. I would say... panther, check. Check that off the list. You can't choose a cow. The cow is your favorite? For night?
Speaker: Yeah. What do they do at night? What do you mean? They're standing, sitting. get tipped by bumpkins, right? Right. i Yeah. I don't know. We get tipped by yokels.
Speaker: Yeah. Jay, you like the bumpkins doing that? No. I said I that's i hate that because they're tipping my favorite nighttime animal. Oh, but if that's your favorite nighttime animal and you're around it at night, you're going to be around bumpkins.
Speaker: Don't you realize? the cows attract bumpkins. Not if you live in the West Coast, the best coast. A cow's moo is like a harbinger of bumpkins to come. Mm-hmm. They're coming. Things to come. you hear them moving.
Speaker: Yeah. now you're right. On the West Coast, the cows attract urban clientele. Yeah, very different than the, you know, away from the metropolitan areas.
Speaker: Yuppies. Those types. Yeah. yuppy Well-to-do yuppies tend to visit cows here in in the West Coast.
Speaker: With new kinds of of hay. Yeah, they got their hay at Erewhon. What do you think about that? oh God. Isn't that sort of a liberal paradise? That
Speaker: was a contemporary reference. Let's just stop with any modern references. Let's go back. Let's pretend... This is the 1960s now.
Speaker: oo Okay, are we still talking about my favorite animal at night? Yeah. um You have more options now. So many animals have gone extinct since the 60s, so you actually have more options.
Speaker: You should use an extinct option. Dodo. Are they nice at night? They must have been 60s. Yeah, they were nicer thatt than they are now, because in the 60s, the Dodos were slightly less decayed.
Speaker: They were still extinct, but their bodies were in slightly better shape than yeah they are now. 60 larger pieces. yeah The pieces were bigger and shattered as much were worn down quite as much as they are today.
Speaker: The Dodo is is a really inspiring IG account, though. Is that true? So yeah, we lost we lost the bird. and But we gained a new account.
Speaker: Its image lives on ah in this account that tells heartwarming stories about a person that finds um like a puppy and ah in ah trapped in the sewer or something.
Speaker: Yeah. Shout out. I do like that account. And also, it's so that is tragic that there are no dodos. That's really sad. Yeah, i think all of the world's best birds have gone extinct. Really? The dinosaurs, for instance, which were pterodactyl. Pterodactyl were birds.
Speaker: Very few people know this, but they were birds. mean, pterodactyl was a truly a bird because it flew around. it was sort of like flies of the dinosaurs. Yeah, it flew around.
Speaker: Huge fly. Can
Speaker: you imagine? And that's where our modern birds come from. The dodo went extinct. Passenger pigeon, I believe. Which I think i was the most common bird the US. What is that, Jay?
Speaker: What? Passenger princess? What is that? That's a modern reference. To what? Can you explain it? Yeah, what does it refer to? ah I believe... You can be honest here.
Speaker: Someone who rides in the passenger seat and they can't drive or they don't want to or something. So they get like princess treatment.
Speaker: So yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is... There's been a downgrade. Sure. We used to have passenger pigeons, but now we have passenger princess. Right. And the world is going to crap is what I'm trying to say. Like, have you seen that t-shirt that shows evolution of man? shows chimp then a and then bit more upright ape. And then there's a human and then it's going to a computer. It's hunched over a chair.
Speaker: And now that's that's the direction we're going in it and it's pissing me off. And then turns into a passenger princess. Right. And that's where we are today. And I'm getting worked up.
Speaker: Where do you think she's going? The princess. Some nonsense errand. She wants you to run an errand for her. of It's tedious.
Speaker: You guys actually do that? Be nice if she worked. Do I do it? ah You guys give passenger you guys give the passenger treatment, right? Or the princess treatment. Get or give.
Speaker: Either. You guys are involved in some sort of relationship between driver and passenger some form. Uh. Yeah. and
Speaker: it's ah It's a tough question. okay if i like i like Jay's answer. a little little hesitant, not giving it all away.
Speaker: You never want to give it all right. You don't want to give it all away. But you will admit that the dynamic between driver and passenger is something that is familiar to you.
Speaker: Correct. It's something you recognize and understand. And it's it's unequal. Yes, there's a hierarchy involved. course. The driver's sort of the whipping boy, the stooge, the simpleton, ignorant, deceived. No, don't drivers have positive qualities? These are these are the positive qualities of being a driver.
Speaker: Those positive qualities make them exploited by the passenger princess. Modern culture is going down the in the drain. What do you have against being whippable? Being whippable is not the end of the world.
Speaker: You're just oversensitive. Yeah. she um Well, ah what is your guy what is your favorite animal?
Speaker: I already told you. Or wait, did I? No, you answered for me. You told me it was Dodo, even though it wasn't true. yeah You were about to say, but I blocked you. Now say... Okay, I want to say now, my favorite nighttime animal is ah the the raccoon because of their little, their eye disguise. so cute.
Speaker: they're They're very cute. They're sometimes called the washing bear. Really? um Because they wash the little tiny bear baby hands. They wash bears?
Speaker: No, their their own hands are like, well, they resemble a tiny bear and they wash their hands. And um I also like that they look through the trash and I think that someone needs to be looking through the trash. So I think it's good that that animal does it.
Speaker: They sort of take over when when humans go to sleep, when man rests. or a woman or a woman uh raccoons 2026 buddy take over the city what about when they attack yeah Derek think of the negatives I've never heard of raccoons attacking someone um without a good reason crawling the trash and I think that is seriously you like that what does that say about you Derek Probably that I'm I can look past all that and appreciate them. Probably a good thing about me. That's actually nice.
Speaker: Yeah, I like that, man. Thank you. Yes, it is true. We're OK with violent animals if it's night. And why should we even stress so much about whether an animal is violent or not? It's just an animal.
Speaker: Yeah, they can. I mean, I think you got to come prepared. You're always carrying around mace just in case you see. Yeah. OK, I'll just say it. I carry mace. i carry concealed mace.
Speaker: It is legal. It is justified. And it is helpful. Have you had to use your mace?
Speaker: Gives me self-confidence. You've used it for self-confidence. Just caring it gives me that. Yeah. Have you ever uncapped that or? Not yet.
Speaker: Yet being the key word, Derek. I understand. It will happen. You are going to hurt an animal. it's Not if, yeah but when.
Speaker: We'll see. and when you And when you spray that shit, also, by the way, is pepper spray and mace the same thing? And then second question, if you spray pepper spray, does it is it really like peppers? Is it really like... It's spicy, kind of, right? think it's made out of that red stuff that you gave me, Derek. Oh, yeah, the red capsaicin powder.
Speaker: I think that is what it is. I think it is that. Am I wrong? I don't know. That was my question for the group. Well, I'm saying I'm right. So am I am i wrong? No, you're right.
Speaker: Hey, Siri. Siri? It doesn't talk anymore. It did get activated, but it doesn't talk. so It got activated? Yeah. ah There was a circle. But anyways, it was just Siri. like Hey, Siri.
Speaker: now No, no. Let's just talk. Let's just talk among ourselves. Let's not try to bring and computers into it. No, it was more of a thing where like I thought... Maybe Siri would like a shout out. I don't know. Whatever.
Speaker: It would help Siri. Yeah, I thought I thought it would help. I'm sorry. And again, we'll move on. But I am sorry. You're what? Sorry. I'm sorry. No, please. Whatever you do. She was here. Sorry. Now you're sorry. Sorry.
Speaker: I'm on thin ice, guys, right? I'm on thin ice. Yeah. in know In what way? you're You're pushing it. I'm really pushing it. I'm on thin ice. I'm halfway there. i like that about you. You're a provocateur. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: performance artist i'm an edgelord yeah that's what i would say that no that's reductive that is what matthew is and that's it's reductive to say edge work a lord is or it's already edgy enough to be a lord you don't need to say edge lord but even so you're so much more than that oh i'm more than a lord a good friend my king he's a pickleball player And a good son, a great son, actually. or One of the best. He helped at the local YMCA a few times. I thought I saw him.
Speaker: The Young Men's Christian Association. They used to give shelter to Christians there. to a backpacker or what is it what are the sort of people who live there where you're vagrants vagrants right christian vagrant christian vagrants would live there back in the day can you imagine what that if we could go back and be a fly on the wall yeah that was before that's before christians had homes yeah they're doing really well for themselves these days
Speaker: We should have one of them on ah the pod. I don't know if we could get one on right now. Let's go. Christian? A young men Christian vagrant on this to call in right now. Hello.
Speaker: What would you say to them? Like, what do you want? oh no, I would let them ask. What do you want in this life? yeah Yeah, I guess i What do you want out of this whole thing? What are you looking for?
Speaker: Exactly. I don't think we've ever had a Christian on this pod, actually. Have we? A Christian? Jay? What do you think?
Speaker: i We can name all the guests. cannot confirm or deny whether there's been a Christian yet, but... You might know. and also, if there they could become...
Speaker: they could become born again later in life then how do you quantify this like we don't have all the data yet i guess i don't count them if they're born again all right you're not a christian from that's gonna piss a lot of people off you just screwed over a huge demographic sorry you better get it right the first time you're going straight to limbo dick is that what happens born again let's go to li limbo yeah That's one of the most fun games on the mother planet.
Speaker: Limbo. You're going to Limbo. Limbo. limb Limbo. Limbo involves the limbo stick. You see it's tropical. Is a tropical game? Is that the idea?
Speaker: Oh, there are elements. Yes. Of the tropics. I think it came from the tropics and it came from like a steel drum was playing in the background and people decided they wanted to do this dance under a stick.
Speaker: And if you die without what is it? If you're a baby and you die without getting baptized, you basically go to the Caribbean for eternity. And that's a punishment. It's more of a punishment than people know. Well, it's no big deal.
Speaker: Yeah, that's actually not bad. du It's like spring break. If you're a baby, you can walk right underneath the ah stick. So you're constantly winning, but it's basically rendered meaningless.
Speaker: Yeah, I always yell hack or things like that. Just pejoratives, general pejoratives. You're rude to the infants. The infants, because they're just crotch groveling, but whatever. I don't want to get into You know how my feelings. should be nice to them. They're deceased.
Speaker: ah They stopped. They're not breathing. Oh, really? Be nice. Yeah. Wait, what happened exactly? Well, they ah passed away, I believe, from any cause, really, but that's how they got sent to limbo.
Speaker: Oh, okay. My bad. Sorry about that. Yeah, you're going to want to be nice. Those babies are on my good list and I feel bad for what happened to them.
Speaker: And nothing crazy. i don't think it's common for a baby to pass away from anything crazy. ah That's not Isn't it usually pretty normal causes?
Speaker: What would be what would even qualify as crazy to you? Hot air balloon. Hot air balloon accident. Yeah. Dropped from a hot air balloon. Unhinged.
Speaker: Yeah, hinges. if a baby passed away from hinges or from... me Like it got caught in the door? Well, yeah, because during earthquakes, a lot of people think you should stand in the doorway.
Speaker: But then the number one cause of injury in an earthquake is... hands getting slammed in the hinge because everyone's, you know, it's opening and closing rapidly because of the quaking.
Speaker: Right. And so the hand surgeons are making bank during earthquakes. And a lot of them you'll notice move fault San Andreas fault, San Francisco, Santa Cruz, you know, it's obvious. And I see you guys and I see you see what you're doing.
Speaker: um Earlier you called ah children ah crotch goblins. Right. And I apologized about that already and I feel like ah that's been... Well, I don't know if you need to apologize for it.
Speaker: I guess I was just curious about That's when found out were passed. I didn't realize that. Oh, how they came to be? yeah Yeah. Well, also not all of them come out of the crotch. What do you mean?
Speaker: Mm. Modern or developments in modern. Cesarean. Cesarean is now an option. Cesarean. Is that you pronounce it? I believe Cesarean.
Speaker: Cesarean. Yes. Cesarean should do the trick just fine to get this one out. Cesarean. Can we be real for a second? Because that's what everyone wants. A cesarean. Right.
Speaker: Cut the bowl. Right. But cut the bull crap for a second. ah Matthew and I were Caesarian. Well, I was not Caesarian, actually. Alright, my bad.
Speaker: Sorry about that, Matthew. I just felt a kinship with you. But we both were, however. It would make sense that I would be Caesarian. Well, yeah, that's the part that's confusing because I thought I was Caesarian because of the thing that we were.
Speaker: Which is? 1, 2, 3. brued two three Breached. s sink that in post And you guys were breached. We were breached babies. That's right. And that means you kind of... You escaped containment.
Speaker: Or what is it? What? No, you just came in upside down, right? Yeah, ass backwards. Right side up? I feel like we've talked about you being breached on this podcast like once every... I'm going to say once every other episode. Oh, really?
Speaker: Might be. But no one knew about Jay being breached. Yeah, but I also got confused about... ah How are you not Cesarean? I think... ah I think that's normally how they handle it, but I think for me, they just didn't give up.
Speaker: They didn't give up so quick. Oh, whoa. They turned you around inside the womb or they ripped you out upside down? Well, don't know if they ripped me out exactly, but I don't know how I got out, but I know it was vaginally.
Speaker: I'm positive. But for Jay, they used the cesarean method. Okay, because what's being a total mine F for me right now is that I was cesarean because I was breached.
Speaker: So how is Matthew that debunks my entire birth? Well, I mean, to kind of complete this, I was actually cesarean, but I wasn't breached.
Speaker: It was just sort of for the fun of it. I don't know. This is a real nighttime. This is a nighttime episode ah talking about some crazy out there.
Speaker: kind Your your mom's were sliced open at night or during the day. o yeah. Which is better, do you think? Yeah. I think night.
Speaker: Wounds would heal quicker during the night. Magic hour would be really nice. Magic hour. Golden hour? Magic hour. witching hour that's later my god like Twilight you like that like Twilight not the movie franchise I mean that's fine but I mean the you know wow so one of you got not you got sliced but one of your moms got sliced at night and one of your moms got sliced during the day how do they not cut the baby in half when they're sort of sawing the woman I would imagine it's just a specific length of knife or is it a knife or is it a razor or razor
Speaker: i was I thought it was a saw. Some people right now are just getting the shivers. And I just want to say, hang in there, guys. We won't be talking about this crazy stuff that much longer. Five more minutes. All right. Setting a timer.
Speaker: so Just five more minutes. It's just so easy. Oh, I'm not going to say it. Hey, sir. oh whoa. Well, that sucks. When I say, hey, sir, it activates. Really? It activates? Yeah, so... What if you're just talking to someone?
Speaker: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. that's really That's really troubling. I activate when people call me sir, for sure. You turn on, I perk Yeah, you get a little... You got a little kick to you. I'm a little spicy when you call me sir.
Speaker: Matthew is spicy. Let's talk about this for five more minutes. All right. Just five minutes to come on. Just five minutes. It's going to be over soon, guys. Just hang in there.
Speaker: I went to a I went to a reading two nights ago. and Someone at the reading was reading a little bit too long. And he kept turning to the host and saying, just one more paragraph.
Speaker: who
Speaker: Wow. That's awesome. um Why is that so funny? It's funny.
Speaker: We love it. We just love it. That was a nice little anecdote I shared, huh?
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. yeah
Speaker: Yo, what did you do? I do?
Speaker: Sat my ass down and listened.
Speaker: As he should. Well, night is crazy. Night is really nuts. Something about it. The reading was at night too, right? Yep. Of course.
Speaker: little bit earlier than this, but it was still night. Yeah. What's your guys' favorite ah nighttime... Midnight....beverage?
Speaker: midnight yeah i thought gonna ask what's your time of night what's your favorite night time yeah time come on matthew be more creative than midnight please i'm a stickler for the classics you're a creative guy say 12. know something odd number 1203 love that am robot twelve three odd number dp twelve oh three i love that i am a robot Oh my God. No, it's midnight. I'm going to be I'm not going to sacrifice honesty for laughs for cheap laughs.
Speaker: Yes. Saying like 1237. Okay. Okay. So cheap. I like this question with the drink because we we do drink at night, even though it there's a risk that we'll have to pee during our sleep. Yeah.
Speaker: But we still drink at night, right? We're not. one of those guys or three of those guys who. ah Like stops drinking like three or four hours before bedtime. Oh, my God. You know, people who do that.
Speaker: I don't I've never met them. You've never met those guys. I don't think so. But i actually have three drinks right now. I have tea and ah what kind Tulsi water and seltzer water ah three types of water tolsen tulsi what is that tulsi tea what is that what is that it's holy basil and yeah it's really good it's a good tea it tastes like basil holy what no it's it's a different type of basil it's grown in a different part of the world yeah bas but i would recommend yeah
Speaker: checking it out see see how you feel do it it doesn't taste like the pizza con not at all not at all but i would be open to that does it have any benefits yeah benefits yeah it makes me feel really good really yeah i would recommend it if i drink it'll it'll make you feel really good yeah which i would recommend All right. Yeah, of course. what Why is it good for Matthew if if Jay feels really good?
Speaker: because I like Jay. Yeah, he likes me and he wants me to have positive mental health and physical health outcomes. a So obviously he would want me to be at my peak.
Speaker: But yeah, I'll tell you what Tulsi benefits are, i guess, to help with the Yeah, please. Yeah, basically it is a potent – yeah, it's a tea that's known as an adaptogen that helps the body manage physical and emotional stress.
Speaker: That's a Tulsi benefit or a benefit of holy basil? Yeah. Yeah, it's the same thing. And then regular consumption boosts immunity, reduces inflammation, supports respiratory health, aids digestion, and promotes mental clarity and calm.
Speaker: It is naturally caffeine-free and rich in antioxidants. All right, so do I need to prove myself... any Anymore. Can we finally move on? Jesus Christ. What color is it? It's dark. How can I? What do you want me to say? What color is the box? It's pitch black.
Speaker: It's pitch black right now. I can't tell you a thing. I can't see hand in front of my face, buddy.
Speaker: Honestly, if i were if I were to have guessed the benefits just based on how you've been acting tonight, I would have guessed those exact points. You seem lucid and stress-free, and I can tell that ah your free radicals have slightly...
Speaker: been ah reduced since the beginning of this conversation due to the presence of antioxidants. I guess thank you. i don't even know what to say here. i feel almost I should be giving a speech.
Speaker: Not a problem. but Thank you. Thank you, man. Of course. Means a lot, man. Means a lot. um I want to make sure that we get to get to everything. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, let's get let's get to the real meaty-gritty of this. Let's get to it. Let's get to the meat of this. I want to make sure that we get to all our material um in time. Right. ah Jay, I believe you wrote something for us. Oh, yeah, but it's so long. I don't know. I just wrote a list.
Speaker: And if we ah if we have a lot to get to, then I don't know. Maybe we could just start with the very first thing you wrote. Okay. One. Okay, one. One.
Speaker: I just was writing because Matthew and I spoke earlier on the phone. You don't have to explain yourself. Whatever. thing This is just things that happen at night. Okay.
Speaker: hello Streetlights flicker on one by one People finally exhale after long days. Dogs bark at things no one else can see.
Speaker: Someone somewhere is falling in love. Someone somewhere is falling out of it. Bars fill up and quiet conversations turn loud.
Speaker: Texts get sent that wouldn't be sent in daylight. Okay. I mean, I could go on. But yeah, you can get the point. There's so many things that happen been late after the crows or the cock has passed away.
Speaker: Whatever. I guess that's just my point. No, I was captivated. you have more, Jay? I really like that list, actually. Can we hear some more? texts get sent that wouldn't be sent in daylight.
Speaker: we We heard that one. You lost yeah but i was starting lost your place? Yeah, I lost my place. It's a long list. Sorry, continue. Yeah, the thing is, it's not numbered.
Speaker: You know, I should have numbered it because I am good with numbers. You see, insomnia begins its slow, restless crawl.
Speaker: The sky deepens from blue to black.
Speaker: Stars quietly emerge overhead. The moon climbs into view. city noise softens into a hum neon sign you said um i i well i didn't want you to i interrupt your train of thought me yeah neon sign all right whatever this will be the last doing active listening jay Ignore the activity. appreciate that. I like active listeners, typically, but this was kind of like I was getting almost into a flow state and Derek's little interjection. I don't know.
Speaker: Whatever. Derailed you? Yeah. I'd love i'd love if you said the thing you were going to say. Whatever. Neon signs glow brighter than they should.
Speaker: you just slam your keyboard down? Matthew slammed. Yeah, i just turned off my computer. um It's night after all, right?
Speaker: That was beautiful. Thank you so much, Jay. Thanks, man. For your creativity and thoughtfulness. I wanted to contribute. Something. Gorgeous. Yeah. Something this time.
Speaker: I just found out about this and I want it and I didn't have time and we're not in person so I would bring flowers or something, but... No, this is like, uh, sort of the the equivalent of flowers because of all the poetic language that you used.
Speaker: You said, um, the stars softly do something? Yeah, I said stars quietly emerge overhead. Oh, they quietly... Yeah, quiet. It's quiet. You never hear that happen.
Speaker: Shhh. Shhh. The stars are coming.
Speaker: Sort has a twinkle. You guys can tell the difference between a star and a planet, right? Ooh, I suck at that. If I'm up close, we'll look down. What do you mean?
Speaker: Is this a planet or a star? Planet. Correct. Correct. I would be scared if Derek actually didn't know the answer to that. I would be questioning his sanity. If I thought we were on a star at night...
Speaker: I would be laughing my on the floor, rolling on the floor laughing if I heard that about there. it would never It's never night on a star. So first off, that's how I would know.
Speaker: In a black hole? It's night. blacker Blacker than night, I believe. the A hole is in a star, though. Is it? Yeah, guess so. It's just a hole. Wait, you're talking about black holes? or what's Black holes, yeah.
Speaker: right right right if it's black it's going to be black but if it's a white hole that's a different story all together those exist by the way right check it out do they really check it out yeah black holes just give me the freaking like i do not like that stuff because just sucks everyone into it and it's just like hey man like i'm just chilling like i'm over here i' in cali just doing my thing and then what's going on man like shit
Speaker: yeah Yeah, it's like quicks quicksand in the sky. Oh my god. Yeah, it's faster than it's so fast, dude. It's just like freak. It's like quicksand. freaks us out.
Speaker: right Yeah, I mean, i I guess that's the scary thing about black holes is a the sky could be full of them, but we could never see them. But does it affect guys? Um...
Speaker: Because quicksand doesn't really seem to affect men. Yeah. From what I've seen. Seems to mainly suck down chicks. The fair.
Speaker: The fair sex, yeah. Yeah, but men put out their coats over at quicksand half the time. And then the women... yeah the men think it's mud and then the women sink. That's why it happens. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: The men are being gentle men. So it's kind of a weird thing. It's kind of a. They give the fair sex a false sense of security with their coats, but the coats actually can't fully block quicksand.
Speaker: Yeah, they put their coat on the quicksand to trick the woman into getting trapped. but No, their trick is they think it's mud. The men are actually committing a crime without even being aware of what's manslaughter. I believe. manslaughter Yeah.
Speaker: well Or woman. Yeah. But they don't change it usually. And I'm a total ah crime TV junkie, but I've never heard it that way. And I watch that stuff.
Speaker: You watch a lot of that stuff. Hours. Yeah. You put in the time. Nancy nancy Grace. You know? like like I like that.
Speaker: I like that stuff. I like it. And I learn a lot. You do your homework. You learn a lot. Yeah. You learn a lot learn a lot about what people get murdered. men they commit manslaughter, putting coats over quicksand to women. They think it's mud.
Speaker: They're still going to jail. You you learn a lot about the the behavior of killers. Yeah. Slaughterers who aren't that bad. Oh, they all do it by accident? not yeah it's not Yeah, that's an accident. Those guys are not aware. You're trying to keep the fair sex from getting ah kind of ah muck on their...
Speaker: They're sure to have a little bit of mud and then they end up passing. Well, why is Nancy Grace even investigating this? It seems like these guys are innocent. She talks about all the crimes. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker: This is manslaughter. Yeah, it's not like the big ratings. It's it's still crime to accidentally slaughter someone. Yeah. Even if you didn't mean to do it. That doesn't seem very fair.
Speaker: It doesn't. I've actually never understood why manslaughter is a crime. Yeah. If you do it by accident, shouldn't matter. It shouldn't even lead to mourning. I think you're already going to have your feelings hurt by having made someone get killed. Right.
Speaker: Yeah, that's already going to ruin your whole week. You are like screwed no matter what, honestly. When someone commits a hit and run, or not forget that, actually, when someone runs over a pedestrian accidentally,
Speaker: You feel bad for the driver, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The pedestrian is taken out the equation right away. Yeah, it's painless. It's a painless way to go. It's painless. It's the most painless.
Speaker: If you push a guy off a building by accident. Yeah. which we would never do But if we were to do that. we're not allowed to. we would feel that for ourselves. The reason we never accidentally do that is because we know we'd be punished even if it was an accident.
Speaker: Right. he yeah That's why we don't decide to do those particular forms of accidents. But we get it out of our system. And yeah, forgive me for a media reference, but there's a game, i believe, in Mario Party where you like hit people off of like a hill or an island. That's correct. So I get it. i do that. And I play that game.
Speaker: I knock others to the side. And therefore, when I'm on roofs... I don't have any like desire. I've gotten it out of my system with virtual gameplay.
Speaker: When you play Mario Party, you're waiting for that minigame. Yeah. You're biding your time. It takes 45 minutes, and i'm checking my I'm checking the time. like i'm not I'm aware of time passing.
Speaker: Yeah, it would be nice to push ah Princess Peach off of on her ball. Well, that's the thing is like you can't really blame you can't blame the person that pushes them off that mushroom or whatever because ah these people are all bouncing on balls, right?
Speaker: It's okay to hurt someone if you're on a ball. I don't know about that. Well, I mean, what did you and know that? I would say what what would what would you would expect to happen? Right. It's every man for himself when I'm on that island.
Speaker: or whatever the platform. it's It's some kind of piece of land And ah what is your favorite restaurant or what is your favorite place to go at night? It could be a restaurant.
Speaker: m Like late night, you're talking? What's your favorite late night spot? Hmm. See, I don't want to pick like a local reference because that would alienate many.
Speaker: Well, it also might blow up your spot and then become really popular. Right. It's important factor. OK, let me think. Okay, well, I guess I'll just say it. I'll say something that ah relates to Matthew.
Speaker: Well, we used to have a tradition, and we would go to, and this is a chain. This is actually a chain, and it's doing well. So I don't know if they need this, but we would go to Denny's, touching the 101 freeway on Christmas back in the day. so That's right.
Speaker: That was a nice late night spot. And you can go on Christmas. Actually, that was your tradition to do that every Christmas. That was our tradition. Yeah. So I think they, they bulldozed that Denny's. Yeah. and It was knocked on its ass. it was knocked down on onto the one-on-one.
Speaker: They were listening to that song. Like, I get knocked in like knocking it. ah knocked down That was honestly, so that was savage. We have because we were we had a tradition and then they like kind of just I don't know they they screwed you and it came in there.
Speaker: Yeah. So like if anyone knows another good Denny's that we could go to for this upcoming Christmas, which is coming up this year. Yeah. Let us know. We're getting ready to be clear. This is your favorite nighttime place to go is Denny's at Christmas that has been destroyed.
Speaker: yeah Yeah, late night. Yeah, if you put it in those terms. On Christmas. You heard us, but yeah, you're you nailed it, Derek. what do you guys What do you guys got going on tomorrow?
Speaker: What we're doing now has ruined me for tomorrow. I'm not going to be able to get anything done. Yeah, because I'm up too late. and ah It's to be hard to sleep after this.
Speaker: Also, it's going to just keep getting later as we go on. So you think this is late? Wait till you see how late it is in five minutes. yeah Do you guys have anything... ah Do you have any favorite thing you like to say as your last ah last thing you say during a... ah ah Do you guys have any... What is your favorite thing to say at night?
Speaker: Right before you're about to stop talking for the entire night? Well, when I'm talking to people... I honestly try to end the conversation by saying, what do you guys got what do you guys have going on tomorrow? Right.
Speaker: i know I've noticed that. You have? That's the very last thing you say, and you don't say anything after that? And then I i hang up.
Speaker: That's how people do it in movies. What you got going on tomorrow? Yeah, and then you know the conversation's over, so you can just cut, oh move to the next scene. Yeah. Cut. Yeah, you know once they're talking about tomorrow, it's not going to be very interesting.
Speaker: Nothing good ever happens the next day in this life. Stay in the moment. Right. I agree. And that's why, yeah, it's a good way to end the moment. But it but when I'm alone, final thing I usually say is probably, fuck I don't know.
Speaker: I actually don't know. They say that um if you're if you are alone and and you're trying to get some sleep... and you have some trouble with that, you should still say, goodnight.
Speaker: but Just to yourself. Really? You're that guy? It'll help you get to sleep. It helps? Well, to okay. well I'll come clean and say that I've never...
Speaker: heard anyone say that you should say that i'm not sure if anyone says well i just came up with it but i think it might work i've heard it said that um when you're leaving if you have a dog and you're leaving the house and you're leaving the dog at home that you're not supposed to say goodbye because the dog will think you're leaving forever And I'd imagine the same principle applies when you're talking to yourself. If you say good night to yourself before you go to sleep, there's a good chance that you will believe that you'll never wake up.
Speaker: Yeah. You might interpret it that way when you say it. You know, give you crazy dreams. You have the trippiest dreams. Which are cool. Yeah. So there's perks to this.
Speaker: It may be dark, but there's perks. That is cool, though. It's really cool. Well, guys. Well, so dogs can actually...
Speaker: um dogs can actually believe. lot of people don't know this, but dogs can believe things. Wait, so dogs... You can never say goodbye to a dog, ever.
Speaker: That's what I've heard, yeah. Because the dog understands goodbye to mean... I'm abandoning you. The dog will understand goodbye very literally without understanding that there's sort of like a ah I mean, yeah, goodbye doesn't imply that there's... But you could say, i i'll so I'll see you later. I'll see you later is probably fine to say. But yeah, don't say yeah goodbye to a dog. They'll just take that a face value. think that's why like in other countries...
Speaker: They'll say like Buenos Dias or like, right. You know, in other countries, like it's like, okay, like, the well, and in the United States, they'll say Buenos Dias when they're leaving forever in the international scene. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: They they're saying it and then it's like, hey, I'll be back in like six hours, six to eight hours. Toodaloo gets the job done, right? For me, the musicality of it sort of implies I'll see you later, but ah I don't know if it means anything.
Speaker: Toodaloo. ah Do you guys hear that? Yeah, it's ah it's like a it's a flirty goodbye. Yeah. It's done in certain instances. It's done in other cultures.
Speaker: Mostly, right? It's not really done in France. Insofar as the three of us share a culture, it's not really done in that che culture of ours. i don't Yeah.
Speaker: It's rare. And what is your guys' nighttime routine? laughter laughter laughter
Speaker: night night night think think on this i do it there's a lot riding on this please please get the answer right well at night I guess I have a puppy and so crawl into my bed with my puppy is like at my feet you know kind of following following And then i hop in and then she hops in and I have water, take a sip, lay down. My puppy gets between my legs facing the door to ward off predators or things are this.
Speaker: ilk And um yeah, that's kind of, and we go to sleep. is it i don't know. You pass out. Can't really tell you much more. Cool. yeah You passed out at about the same time?
Speaker: As my puppy?
Speaker: Yeah. As your puppy. As the puppy. ah and We don't want to say your puppy's name because we don't want blow up your shit too much. Yeah. I'm not going to dox my puppy, but yeah, she... yeah I'm trying to get more...
Speaker: I'm working on becoming more aware of when I fall asleep. but So I don't always know, but I would assume, yeah, it's close. this is sort of I have a question. This is sort of cheating or this is sort of breaking the rules here.
Speaker: But in the morning, when night is a thing of the past, yeah way after night, oh do either of you guys ever wake up yes from a puppy licking you in the face? do Either of you guys, really.
Speaker: Anyone can answer this one. How about I answer first? Derek, Derek, hop in. My answer's no. Okay. And you want to give a little... ah Yeah.
Speaker: You want to explain that? Explanation. Right. So if you're wondering how, yeah, how it comes to pass at all. Yeah. How? Puppy doesn't wake me up with licks in the morning. yeah um here You hear your answer. It becomes really ah understandable once you accept the fact that I don't have a puppy in my apartment.
Speaker: I don't let them in. You don't let them in? They're outside. Yeah. That's heartless, Derek. It's heartless. I don't take care of them.
Speaker: You let them ah rot. You let them ah doom scroll and bed rot out there. Bed rot. It's none of my concern. If you're listening, please don't do this while bed rotting. Anything but go for a walk, touch grass, just Get out there. Get out there, people. Move. Because social media addiction is a thing.
Speaker: Is real. And it's proven. clinic It's not good for young brain development. so So that's best to avoid.
Speaker: hey y'all. We're not kidding. I know we've said some other stuff earlier that maybe we were joking about, but this is real deal. Hey, y'all. This has been episode 44 of Chamber of Reason.
Speaker: The nighttime episode, I believe. Yeah. Just checking with that fact.
Speaker: Just a gentle reminder. No, that is simply a gentle reminder as we on to part two. anyone who has forgotten what is happening here, this is, again,
Speaker: again I mean, just be perfectly clear, this is episode 44 of Chamber of Reason with Jay Weingarten as ah our personal guest.
Speaker: And yeah, the theme is ah night. as We're actually recording this at night. It's around 1054 p.m. Pacific.
Speaker: Pacific Standard. And it's the latest episode yet. So far. It's getting later. It's getting later and later. Literally. I... Cuckoo clock's about to come off.
Speaker: Yep. Off the chain. About to be damaged.
