63. Craigslist Free Section (ft. Megan Koester)

Transcript

Speaker: All right, so this is Chamber of Reason. Absent Matthew once again as he ah tends to move to New York City from l LA and we've got Megan Keister on the show. How's it going? Fantastic substitute.

Speaker: Although I'm not, you know, I would never leave Los Angeles for New York. I don't think living in New York necessarily makes you a stronger or, you know, more interesting person. That's why you're in Los Angeles?

Speaker: To be strong? No, I mean, saying life is easier in Los Angeles. And everybody in New York acts like I have to respect them because their lives are harder. Why should I respect you for a choice?

Speaker: I completely agree. i lived a harder life in l L.A. than I do in New York. i I barely leave my couch in New York because I'm like, well, I already live in the hard city. Why would I do anything? Right, exactly. But then but then there's also there's the parks in New York, which the people go to because they all live in fucking... Is this...

Speaker: Pierce is like, what I'm looking at is this just your room? This is the office that that it basically only gets used once ah once a week for recording this podcast. You live in New York City and you have a secondary office in your living in vine environment? It is ah it is a railroad apartment and I would say that there is about seven feet of girth in this hallway. It's completely unusable except for this purpose.

Speaker: I have seen that before. All right. I'm not angry anymore. Yeah, thank you. Appreciate that. Yeah. yeah What can you do with this room? Sometimes we think about like putting a fucking turntable in a single ottoman, the appreciation room.

Speaker: I mean, that's what you do with a room like this. No, what you do with a room like that is that you put a 22-year-old who just moved to New York in it and charge it, you know, $600 a month. This is room where 22-year-olds stand and are tormented by their finances. and As well they should be because they made that choice.

Speaker: People should be punished for making choices more. Not celebrated. I've been punished for not making choices, just for letting my life coast for years and years. And it gets worse. Well, you should do what Megan does. Megan is somehow suggesting that she's being rewarded for her being derelict in her choices.

Speaker: you can If you can figure out how to do that, Derek, we're all going to start living the good life. I mean, yeah, life did absolutely get easier once I stopped caring about the entertainment industry and just started selling garbage on the Internet.

Speaker: Every time I run into Megan at a party, she takes me aside and says, let me give you some advice. Follow in my footsteps. yeah Sell garbage on the internet. i'm trying everyone Everyone that I like slash respect, I try and give this advice to and absolutely no one listens to me.

Speaker: I mean, all the better. I mean, it's just like you can't have every single person in your community sell trash. I mean, you're just going to run out of trash. You're going to run out of customers. You're not worried about competition. There's enough junk on the internet.

Speaker: There's enough junk yeah in ah in the world. There's more things that have been made than people to use the things. That's true. You know what I'm saying? yeah It's endless. It's a stream. I also think that you know when it comes to giving life-saving advice to people, it is the thought that counts. Whether or not they take the advice, whether or not the advice is even good. As long as the advice is designed to save one's life, then it's the thought that counts.

Speaker: Yeah. i'd say i I would say I tell you more, Derek, that you should start growing mushrooms. I tell you that you should become dealer. You're talking about psychedelic mushrooms. And yeah if I'm going to grow mushrooms, I'm going to grow the kind that go on pizza pies and then those awful salads with like shredded cheese. Yeah, but you won't do that either. no I'm lazy. There's a market for that too, I guess. If you want to go like the artisanal route.

Speaker: Hey, man, give me some mushrooms. Yeah, selling ah just pizza mushrooms to hippies because they get the munchies. Mushrooms are free, though, right? Because it's just... What is it? Spores, and then you just have to supply... is it dung that you grow mushrooms out of?

Speaker: grow it in brown rice. The brown rice acts as a growing medium. Well, that's the thing that's interesting about growing mushrooms on your own, not that you asked, I'm the one that brought it up,

Speaker: But um ah that they can get contaminated really easily, which is ironic because in nature, it does grow in shit. But if you're growing mushrooms in your apartment or something, you know, you can like an errant cough on it can make everything just turn to absolute shit.

Speaker: So everything has to be like hermetically sealed kind of thing. And it's hermetic, hermeticism, you know, drug. This is what I want to know. Right. Golden teachers, what are you growing?

Speaker: Are you taking your own advice? Golden teachers are easy. So are the, it's like a B, b plus or some shit. i knock I can't purport to be an expert, really. I just go, i find the website where they still ship to California.

Speaker: And they're not going to, you know, spam scam you or whatever. Right. And then I get these, get them in the mail and then judge them in a Just them grow. It's like a whole process. But, you know, have you heard of Reddit.com?

Speaker: I heard of that. There's a lot of people on Reddit.com that are really into this and they'll tell you how to do it with forensic precision. Yeah. I used to sell mushrooms, but I never grew them.

Speaker: um People would always yeah think I would buy them. I would buy them and flip them. That was my move. I would buy the same thing as Megan flipping. Yeah.

Speaker: like Did you ever like go to go to like a fish show or something? I've always wanted to go you know, like one of those big event shows because I feel like that would just be it'd be easy to to buy and flip.

Speaker: No, to like if you had, you know, large quantities of mushrooms and you were trying to, you know, sell them. and No, the truth is I would just sell to like four people. And then eventually I would just sell to one guy who's actually a mutual friend of me and Derek's. And, ah you know, he thought of me as a mushroom dealer, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was just buying mushrooms and selling them only to him.

Speaker: i mean, you are a dealer to him. Right. More of an adversary than a ah a real genuine capitalistic interaction. Well, you're more of an advocate for the expansion of the mind.

Speaker: That's right. Well, that's why I fancied myself that I liked the idea of coming across that way. I said, you know, you should try five grams in silent darkness. Not that I've ever done it, but it seems like you're not getting out of these what you want of out of them. And people say five grams in silent darkness is the heroic dose. And then he agreed with me, not understanding what I was saying. He was like, yep, my mind always goes to darkness.

Speaker: and Nice. I was all right, never mind. Never mind. Just do whatever you want. And yet he loves embracing the darkness, I guess, since he kept approaching you to buy more and more mushrooms.

Speaker: What was your price point? I was just breaking even, honestly. ah I can't remember, but I think I did the math and I was like, all right, I want to make $5 on everything. But I just like the idea that people wouldn't do mushrooms if it weren't for me. I did feel like I was kind of a psychic thundercloud. A gatekeeper.

Speaker: Right, exactly. That's for the love of the game. yeah Derek, have you ever been to it like a fish show or a Grateful Dead show despite not having partaken in the psychedelics? Oh, despite hating that music?

Speaker: Despite avoiding that shit as much as I possibly can. That it might be the worst genre of anything. Music, sure, but I think anything. Of anything. ah Yeah. Aren't all those guys actually dead now?

Speaker: And their whole group is being led by John Mayer? How embarrassing. And yet all these guys wearing $50 teddy bear shirts show up to the dome in Las Vegas to to watch that shit for seven hours? This is still happening, yeah.

Speaker: To my knowledge. A friend of my husband's, it was his birthday. and the wife was like, he really wants to go to the Grateful Dead show at the Sphere. you guys want to meet us there?

Speaker: And we said, are you paying for the tickets? And they said, yes. So we said, sure. And I will say, had never seen the Grateful Dead before, obviously, because, you know, I'm not a piece of shit. Yeah. um But the first thing I saw when I got there, there was just this, like,

Speaker: fat kid with like a Pepsi or like in his, in the crook of his elbow and nachos, like eating the nachos, like wall going up a staircase or know going up an escalator.

Speaker: Um, and that was the coolest thing I saw. That's what the music sounds like. The music does not sound like ah cool, melty visuals. The music sounds like crunching on processed cheese and yeah and gulping carbonated Pepsi. I'm going down, down to the river.

Speaker: I'm seeing a woman out in the river. You need acid to do that? You need a fuck ton of acid to go down to the river and see a woman by the river? ah That dog don't hunt.

Speaker: don't make no sense. I'll tell you what. Say, huh? They're grateful. What? I'll tell you what, though. That sphere is. Now that's a trip, right? That's yeah that's a fucking trip.

Speaker: Now, what kind of visuals what kind of visuals are are you seeing at the dead show? We got, you know, like ah a skeleton on a motorcycle going down the street with his ah his skeleton old lady on the back.

Speaker: We got, ah you know, in the audience are cheering every time a new color comes on screen. Well, they cheered. They cheered the most at this. I'm sure AI produced. It was like, you know, it started you know on the big blue marble, man, like on Earth. snap And then just like the shot just gets tighter and tighter. And it's like, OK, now we're on Earth.

Speaker: Okay, now we're in North America. Okay, now we're on the West Coast of North America. And every time it would get closer, people would be like, oh, shit. And then it was like, okay, we're in San Francisco. Oh, fuck.

Speaker: Yep, there's the sign. Hate Ashbury. And everyone just fucking Oh, oh so yeah Yeah, and then it like gets closer even closer to this like shitty-ass house on Hate Ashbury, which is like the worst neighborhood on fucking planet Earth.

Speaker: Yeah, but it used to be awesome. but but And then there's these like you know like hot chicks, but they're like drug chicks like sitting, like giggling on the front porch, and everyone's just like fucking acting like the Christ child had just showed up. That's somebody's great aunt. Well, that's someone's regenerated great aunt, I guess Manson's victims in Hate Ashbery talking about dosing a whole jug of OJ and giving it to a cop.

Speaker: Holy shit. This was the golden age. I thought it was going to be zooming in onto the West Coast and then hitting the sphere. I thought that they were going to be exploding the sphere from the blue marble. Going into the viewer's skull, going into their brain, going into their childhood.

Speaker: Well, no, you go to the dead show because you don't want to think about your childhood. This is why you're a habitual drug user in the first place, right? You're trying to escape the prison of the mind. By being in the prison of the sphere with a bunch of people eating fucking nachos while ah you know like while a digital skeleton is on a motorcycle with his digital skeleton old lady trucking down the highway. Why don't these people just move to Tennessee and join the U.S.'s largest intentional community, The Farm, founded by Haight-Ashbury scholar and many of his compatriots, Stephen Gaskin.

Speaker: And work on the weed farm and and buy diapers and watch ah CRT cable TV. I mean, I don't get what's so great about nachos and music. If you want to celebrate hate Ashbury, you got a rough it. You got to become a filthy little Amish person who's the only toy your kid has to play with is a bug.

Speaker: i mean, that's the They're tourists, man. I know. They're stealing shoeless valor. Everyone there had shoes on, man. Fucking sellouts, dude. Sellouts.

Speaker: And by the way, you know, the sphere isn't magic. It uses tech. Yeah, a lot of it. They have the scale model out here in Burbank. You can actually see them testing it. They have a miniature sphere.

Speaker: It's by the Burbank airport. If anybody wants to drive by it certain days of the week, you can see them yeah testing justing the visual. That's what that's for? That's what that is. Yeah. You're not fucking with me right now? that's that's Not at all. by the By the Holiday Inn or whatever? hu Yes, you've seen it.

Speaker: I mean, umm yeah, I frequently use the Burbank Airport because if I can't get there from Burbank, I don't need to be there. You said it, sister. All right, so... No, yeah, let's do this. Yeah, what's the... Do your concept. Megan, thank you. A consummate professional, like, ushering us right along to the concept of the episode. Mm-hmm. Well, given that you flip things on Craigslist, I thought all of us could kind of take a virtual trip down to the Craigslist free section website.

Speaker: Even though this is not a visual podcast. So we'll just have to do a really good job of describing what we're saying. Yeah, it'll be asmr Okay. Craigslist free section, very active, lots and lots of post. 32 minutes ago, king size mattress in downtown Los Angeles. It says it's in good condition.

Speaker: I lived in a condo in DTLA, but moved for job. For job. Mattress is currently in storage locker. What do you think about this? ah It's wrapped in plastic. So that implies cleanliness. I mean, it does look clean in and of itself.

Speaker: um I will say if you are constantly on the Craigslist free section as I am, you will realize that some things you do not need to buy. And mattresses are one of those things.

Speaker: Mattresses and televisions now have become essentially like ah water. You know what I'm saying like a Like a human right sort of thing. If you're paying for it, you're fucking up. It's absolutely unnecessary. You're a sucker.

Speaker: yeah You don't need the Aquafina brand mattress. Exactly. Exactly. This mattress looks, it doesn't look like a high quality mattress in and of itself. It was probably from Bezos. But, you know, it's better than sleeping on a pile of filthy rags.

Speaker: I think it looks nice. And yeah when you say you can get a TV for free, people are always saying this to me and maybe my head ain't screwed on straight, but I'm wondering how patient do you have to be to get the TV that isn't just a do for now TV?

Speaker: TV that could last you four or five years. Well, the thing about the Craigslist is that, you know, it's like it's like the ocean, man. You know, like sometimes the tide is high. Sometimes the tide is low.

Speaker: If you need a TV in the now. All right. And it doesn't matter. would suggest just getting. No, no, no. We're not. This is not what I'm talking about. I'm saying get get whatever you can find.

Speaker: And then eventually ah something that will be something you'll more you're more interested in will arrive. And then you can sort of catch and release the one that you would procure. Is it possible to get a bunch of crummy free TVs, flip those and then get a really great one?

Speaker: I don't see why not. I don't know what the market is like for selling. Actually, that's not true. I do know what the market is like. i have You don't flip TVs? You do. I have flipped TVs in the past. Yeah. um Okay. What about this king size mattress? Flippable or no?

Speaker: No. For some reason, people people do not pay people are perfectly willing to pay $1,000 for a new mattress, but any mattress that anyone has sat on is you know persona non grata, which doesn't make sense because people are go to hotels all the time where people have done godless things on those mattresses.

Speaker: That is true. Fucking, sucking, shitting, hissing. It would be nice if you could sort of hard sell. I mean, like, you're you're convincing me, but I wish that you could we could convince some, like, we could get a buyer on the program and have you convince them. That it is worth going to this guy's storage Paying you, Megan, money the intermediary to get the mattress.

Speaker: i'm I'm the intermediary infrequently. Last time I was the intermediary, it was for a ah tuba. And I did. I had to drive up to San Francisco. for a tuba?

Speaker: No, to to I had to bring the tuba from Los Angeles to San Francisco. However, the tuba, it was like a tuba with with a story, whatever. i think I got like two grand for it or something like that.

Speaker: Wow. Did you celebrate in San Francisco after getting the two grand? Um, not really. i felt profoundly uncomfortable because the money was given to me in an envelope in cash.

Speaker: And, uh, you know, it was tenderloin adjacent. You wanted to get home quite. Yeah. Well, I've never received that amount in cash. Uh, but if it were for a tuba, I would feel invincible.

Speaker: Yeah. I would feel like, Hey, this ain't dirty money at all. It's for a tuba with a, with a tail behind it. This was a free tuba. Well, the story, this guy I know gave me a tuba.

Speaker: All right. And ah yeah it would the this does the story was, there's you know who Ralph Carney is? this flu He was like fucking Tom Waits' sax player. He's like, I don't know you know. He was like a horn guy, right?

Speaker: He died. He's getting rid of his wife was getting rid all of his instruments. This dude got some of the instruments. And then as he was leaving, the wife was like, hey, do you want a tuba? He's like, sure. he got the tuba.

Speaker: And then when I was at this guy's house getting shit to just to flip as I was leaving, he's like, Keeser, do you want a tuba? And I said, sure, I'll take the tuba. And it turns out the tuba was like, you know, from i think it was like pre World War Two is an extremely old fucking tuba. Whoa.

Speaker: But that I didn't know how to price the tuba. you know So then it was just sitting in my garage for like a year. And then the guy the guy I originally got the tuba for doubled back like about a year later. And it was like, hey, Keister, I found somebody that wants the tuba.

Speaker: And then he was the one that set up me meeting this chick in San Francisco to sell the tuba. And then I was like, well, do you want any of the money from the seller the tuba? And he's like, I don't give a fuck.

Speaker: You didn't even want a taste. It's amazing. yeah I'm surprised it was a woman that bought it also. Well, she bought it. her husband Her boyfriend or husband or some shit was really into the previous owner of the tuba. i Got it. And I think it was his birthday. So it was like a birthday tuba.

Speaker: Hey, how about this? Estate sell huge lot. Playboy magazine. men New mint. From to they got the Belinda Carlisle one. Okay.

Speaker: Are these worth anything? The thing is, a lot of people think that they are, but the answer is no. um Because they're they made too many of them.

Speaker: yeah And every man that ever received one put it in a box you know to jerk off to 20 years later. right So they're not rare. by any Even though they're old, they're not rare.

Speaker: Therefore, they don't really have any worth. Has been my experience. Have you ever flipped a pornographic Laserdisc? Because there's a guy in a Facebook ah group that I'm in that is selling a lot of pornographic Laserdiscs and he wants at least $80 for each of them. Some of them he's he's listing for $200. And I'm like, you can get these. you can you know They're vintage porno, so you can look them up, whatever. they're They're available online transferred.

Speaker: I haven't come across vintage pornographic Laserdiscs, but vintage pornographic magazines, not mainstream, you know, gen pop slop, let's say, like Playboy.

Speaker: But like if it's like a vintage gay magazine, that will go. There's like 90s era twink ones sell really good. And then 70s or 80s era, like sort of like beefcake ones sell really good.

Speaker: who who What's the market for these? Like who who's buying them? Very, like, sort of artistic gay guys? ah No, like men in flyovers. the In the same way that um men in flyovers are always... I sell a lot of pantyhose.

Speaker: They're always buying those. um If you can get, like, large-sized sex shoes, like pleasers, like stripper shoes. um One time I went to this house.

Speaker: This was a Craigslist thing. One time there I went to a house that was in the Hollywood Hills because this woman was giving away, like, brand-new sealed pantyhose. And I was like, I know that flips. I'm going to go.

Speaker: So I go and then we start sort of talking. She's a white woman with dreads, but I don't bring it up. And she's like, I think maybe you might be interested in what's in the basement. And I said, OK, let's go to the basement.

Speaker: And we go to the basement and the basement is full of, I want to say, maybe approximately 100 boxes of unworn size 13 stripper shoes because the house was previously owned by a foot freak.

Speaker: OK, so I took all those stripper shoes. And i I sold them. It took maybe about like two years to finally sell them all. But I did sell them all. And I split the money with her.

Speaker: It ended up being like, don't know, maybe 500 bucks, something like that for each. Oh, man, I thought it'd way more. I thought would be way hard to, to be honest. But here's the, like, they're also, they're really into the big stripper shoes, but they don't, you know, they're divas on a budget. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and they're smart. They're in the world. They know get their shoes cheap, I guess. Yeah, but it's also, you know, I think a lot of them are, like, they're not trans. They're cross-dressers.

Speaker: So it's, like, they don't want to, like, and also, they A, they don't want to like, buy stuff in person, and B, there's probably not the option to do that in, like, Kentucky or wherever the fuck they live. they have to go They have to go online.

Speaker: But the the market is, I guess, sort of saturated because there's so many people that are interested in that. Is there any premium to sort of like, could you make up a story being like, oh, you know, this is actually from a girl named Trish who died in a skiing accident, but she was so sexy. Would that do anything?

Speaker: A lot of people... Do you buy like new panties and sort of dunk them in goop for a while and then say, used panties? Use panties. Well, legally, yeah you're not allowed to sell those um on eBay, which is where I do the majority of my selling. Yeah.

Speaker: But people will always, they'll all they'll a lot of people will take a picture of themselves in the underwear and then sell the underwear as new, quote unquote. But you can obviously tell by the picture that this person has worn the underwear. Therefore, if you are sexually attracted to the person in the picture, you're going to want the underwear.

Speaker: Can you actually put quote unquote when you say new? Yeah, I think you'd probably write the words quote unquote. I don't know if like ah eBay's AI generated scanning well is sophisticated enough to know. Sarcasm. To discern irony or not. Yeah. Right.

Speaker: Yeah, you could just say un unworn and then a wink, a winky face. So you like actually, instead of even writing out the winky face, just write unworn panties. It's picture of the panties unworn and then a picture of a grown man winking.

Speaker: And then those are the two images of the product. And then you can just kind of, oh, I i have a very sophisticated taste for irony. I know that that winking picture means that the panties are, in fact, used. Yes, that can be done.

Speaker: Although I will say I have this. I just I got this a while ago. do you remember when they used to do this? This is like a mid 90s thing when they sold ah the Japanese schoolgirl panties that were worn.

Speaker: I have these and I know they have to be worth something, but I don't know how to sell them because you can't, there's no like sales history. you know what I'm saying? I don't, i don't know where, don't know if anyone listening knows where to get these.

Speaker: Those are for sure worn? That's like the part of the business? Well, that's the implication because if you see the picture, okay, you see the panties on the girl and then here's the panties.

Speaker: Right. So they're heavily implying that they were worn and then I translated. They had like a factory where there were like robot arms putting panties on girls and then ripping them off like in one second.

Speaker: I mean, i don't know. i mean I'm looking at it in the box now. It's in a plastic bag in a plastic box. I mean, so much time has passed since these were originally purchased. um I doubt they smell anymore.

Speaker: But it might be one of those things that when you bought them fresh, they might have smelled. I don't know. Well, I want to start a business that's similar to that, but maybe not with panties and something that's... Is there any amount of clothing that you can sell if it's... I mean, you're allowed to sell shirts on eBay if they're worn, but just not women's underwear? Men's underwear?

Speaker: No, you can sell underwear. You just can't say that it's been worn. But it's only underwear? Oh, in terms of the things that you can't you can't sell used? Well, you can't sell vintage vintage underwear, vintage lingerie.

Speaker: um Even if it's worn. And you can say that it's been worn. But you just can't say that you know you yourself or... Vintage 2019. Heavily used. but but Heavily soiled circa pandemic, yes.

Speaker: Well, i guess i had I guess I had assumed that there were some laws around selling used underwear for erotic purposes, but it's just like, who's to say? i mean, you can circumna you can circumvent it, obviously, by saying these are unworn, and then you know in the pictures it's heavily implied that they are, but...

Speaker: I don't know. I mean, you can sell a worn shirt, surely. Maybe you could like wrap ah a shirt around your privates as a loincloth and then sell that. Right. Or like a tight sort of situation.

Speaker: But the thing about the panties, there are you know like ah websites specifically dedicated to that where people are... But eBay has its own terms of service, I guess. Yeah. So it's not it's not a crime. It's just an eBay thing. It's an eBay thing.

Speaker: Got it. you Derek, do you want to kill something else on this website? Oh, here we go. Megan, why don't you let me read this out loud for the audience? ah Free animal carrier, pet cattle, medium, parentheses, Pasadena.

Speaker: ah Needs to be cleaned, but no missing parts. Everything works. Pick up at the southeast corner of X and X. So this is what we call a curb alert. Okay. So when people, they don't necessarily want to sit around and wait for somebody to say like, oh, I'll be at your house at two 30. And then it turns out they died. Like they'll just be like, I put this on the curb, you know, as soon as it's taken away, you know, I get rid of the listing.

Speaker: Um, and yeah, I, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm of multiple mindsets about that. Of course, I understand that it's easier on the person getting rid of the thing, but imagine if I needed a animal carrier, pet kennel medium,

Speaker: and I schlep all the way to Pasadena and this thing's already gone, which is you know the sort of thing that has happened to me before, it would be frustrating. I guess that's what they're hoping. i mean, when you do a curb alert, you have to think like, I'm so important in this moment. I have something that is so lazily wanted. so plastic box that an animal died in.

Speaker: Right. It's not an emergency for anyone necessarily, because if it were that much of an emergency, you would shell out the cash. How much can they cost new? 40 bucks?

Speaker: Probably. Yeah. Is this flippable? No. Well, maybe. i mean, but for like five, you know, pointless, I think. Yeah. Well, because people are so fucking obsessed with their animals.

Speaker: They're always they always want the shit crispy new because they think that, you know, Trixie deserves only the best. The dog is going to somehow know. Yes, that it has been sullied by the body of another possibly now deceased dog.

Speaker: How much are chimp cages going for right now? That's a good question. I don't live in Florida, so I don't know. Full-grown chimp cage. Let's head over to Florida free and for sale, Derek. Don't you think that's an interesting idea?

Speaker: Well, I wanted to kind of like work within Megan's normal territory, but we can take to Florida. Let's challenge Megan. Let's challenge me All right, settle the fuck down. We'll go to Florida.

Speaker: I will say, Pierce, the like the best where the where the freaks come out is the fucking New York free section on Craigslist. New York City. If you don't believe me, just check out How To with John Wilson.

Speaker: I mean, that's even a sanitized version of what's going on in the free. You know they're editing out all kinds of crazy crap. all right, show me Florida and then let's do New York.

Speaker: Hey, stop bossing me around. Derek, these are suggestions coming from man who knows himself. You're not saying please. You're saying, show me Florida. Relax, buddy.

Speaker: and Okay. American Bulldog. You know what, Derek? We just missed our exit. How does that sound? yeah i'm trying i'm trying to tell you I'm trying to tell you to take this exit and then you're shaming me for bossing you around? We just missed the exit, bro.

Speaker: Now you got to take the next one. It's fine. GPS will reroute us. Yeah, but now we're going to be six minutes late. Bro, do it now. We're going to we're gonna be late to South Florida.

Speaker: This is the exact kind of driver you are, too. This is the exact way you drive, too. Someone says, ah here, turn right. It's right here. Then you say, oh, don't boss me around.

Speaker: I hate when men fight on podcasts. This is making me feel really uncomfortable. Unsafe, really. The listeners like it. It's making me feel unsafe. Oh, okay. Well, as long as the listeners like it. I love the listeners.

Speaker: I love the fans. Yeah, we love you guys. yes Okay, American Bulldog, Coral Springs, shots good with kids. Normally, when you see a dog of this of this sort of breed, or a dog that has a discernible breed, um they're probably trying to sell it to you.

Speaker: People always put animals for sale on the Craigslist free section. And then that means that there's always people on the Craigslist free section being like, stop putting up animals for sale. flag Flag the ad whenever you see it.

Speaker: You know what I mean What do you mean? Like if you show up to pick up this dog, they're going to like, surprise, this dog's $500. yeah Well, and yeah, if you were to email this fucking clown, he'd be like, all right, it's $500 rehoming fee.

Speaker: 100%. can't show up until you make contact. And in the contact process, they were saying, yeah, I'm thinking about something like 650 because the dog is sweet. Yeah, exactly. Because it didn't bite one of my kids yet.

Speaker: Yeah, not yet. It could bite one of yours, but then it's out of my hands once that happens. Well, you're looking at... I feel like South Florida is like the more dignified part of Florida, right? Is it? Well, wait. No, I don't know. okay now This is south of Boca Raton, west of Pompano Beach.

Speaker: Okay, there's not really much dignity. I mean, there's a lot of swamp here, it looks like. We got to do a Florida travel episode. Let's go to Florida for real. Chamber of Reason is a Florida podcast.

Speaker: Well, now that Spirit Airline doesn't exist anymore, can can't you not even go to Florida? Wasn't that the only airline that served Florida? Yeah, you got to take a ferry to Florida. Megan, here's another animal that's in the Craigslist free section. In the Boca Raton area, an Angora rabbit that has an eye problem.

Speaker: Needs care. Call any time. Call George any time. George. This is absolutely going to be free because the as the rabbit has an eye problem. ah The rabbit is kissing a dog. It's really sweet. The rabbit is absolutely kissing a dog.

Speaker: Now, how common is how common is eye problems and rabbits and the stuff that you've seen, Megan? In what I've seen? I don't really click on the rabbit ads. I'm not going to lie to you. So I don't know how common this is, but I feel like it probably...

Speaker: Why don't you show me a picture where we can see the eye problem, by the way, because all of these pictures, the eyes look perfectly fine. I mean, yeah, what's a what's a rabbit need its eyes for again? I mean, all they need their eyes for is to run away from big cats or other predators, owls, right? Right. They're they're using for higher processing. Well, and this isn't it. This is clearly an indoor rabbit.

Speaker: so it seems I think you want a blind rabbit because it's never going to see the tickle coming. It's never going to see the cuddle arm coming. It's not going to wince or run away when you try to show it affection. So if you have a rabbit, if you want it to be really sweet, cuddly and affectionate, gouge its eyes out so that you can always it you can always grab its head and give it a little flicks and touches and pets.

Speaker: They're skittish animals. I might call George in Boca Raton. I mean, he put his full phone number on Craigslist with not a single digit redacted. do you want to try calling him on speakerphone right now and then just asking him about... I'll do it.

Speaker: okay Oh, okay. I was just going to say that your audio... well I think Megan's more used to ah negotiating with these guys. so Megan, you you tell me what to say in my headphones and I'll do it. I'll use your advice. Well...

Speaker: I feel kind of bad because then you're going to be given George false hope. Can you ethically deal with that? Well, tell him in the call that we're not interested. okay. Well, but you do realize that George will have your phone number now. I'll call him to say that I'm not interested in this.

Speaker: Is that something you ever do? Let people know that you're not interested? Not this time. Off the rip? I do not. Well, as someone who you know doesn't appreciate having their time wasted, why would I waste someone else's time?

Speaker: All right, i won't waste this guy's time. Well, let's use his time. Here we go

Speaker: go. Hey, man, I'm asking about your rabbit in Boca Raton. Yes. What's the eye problem with the rabbit? i He got um ah a little ah dog got him in the eye a couple months ago.

Speaker: He was ah playing with the same dog that's in the photo that's kissing him. There's a dog in the photo? Yeah, this ah in the third photo here, I'm looking at the listing, it looks like the rabbit and the dog are having a ah tender kiss. you You see what I'm talking about here in the third photo?

Speaker: No, I don't recall that, but go ahead. It looks like a St. Bernard and indoors. Is this your dog in the third photograph? St. Bernard, maybe something like that? Really interrogating him. I don't recall, i'm sorry.

Speaker: Oh, so but it's not your dog that bit the rabbit, some wild some wild dog? No, no, no, no. It's not it's not a wild dog. it is My friend gave me this rabbit because yeah his dog, was he had a Yorkie dog, he scratched the rabbit's eye as they were playing.

Speaker: So he gave me the rabbit to try to fix his eye, and it's not healing correctly. Is it infected? is the is the the rabbit completely blind in that eye? No, he's not blind. No, I've been trying to take care of his i but his pus is out a lot, and the whole side of his face is is is... A lot of the hair is gone and stuff, and I've been cleaning his eyes. What's the rabbit's name?

Speaker: It sounds like the rabbit's getting worse. I mean, you your friend thought that that you could heal the rabbit. What's the rabbit's name, by the way? Toast. Toast. Yeah, I would say so.

Speaker: I'd say this rabbit's toast. um Is that why the rabbit is named Toast? I don't know, guys. I appreciate your sarcasm, okay? I thought that maybe the eye was salvageable. You're telling me the eye unfixable. I mean, it's only natural to to make the joke that I've made. sounds like the rabbit's toast.

Speaker: Forgive me. i want how How much do you want for the rabbit? the The rabbit's the rabbit' is going to go to the right person. Obviously, you're not the right person. so Oh, okay. Well, then, sorry to waste your time, my friend. I hope you have a good day.

Speaker: You handled that really well. Thank you. handled that I don't think you could have handled that better. I really appreciate that. He said the rabbit's name was Toast. What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to say? What?

Speaker: You should have said, do you work at the Florida Atlantic University of Boca Raton, which is where the map is located. It appears that he's in the proximity of the Florida. Maybe call him back. Wait, wait. Call him back and say what?

Speaker: him if he works at Florida Atlantic University Boca Raton campus. I should call him and say that I work at the laboratory in the in the campus and that we want to use the rabbit to test on. We do experimental eye surgeries on rabbits. we do experimental We do experimental pyrotechnics on rabbits.

Speaker: Any chance you want to volunteer him? He didn't know what the fuck picture I was talking about with the dog either. Well, and also clearly these are old pictures because by the time he got the rabbit, its fucking eye was falling out.

Speaker: it said Did he say that it was spreading and pussy? yes he said that the pus just keeps keeps pussing. I want to go on the record here and say that I feel bad for the rabbit and I hope the rabbit goes to a good home.

Speaker: And that also I think Pierce is innocent because the rabbit won't know about the sarcasm. I agree. It was weird that I was getting tone policed there. All right, let's look at another thing on the... ah on the

Speaker: This is looking like this is not a very benevolent region of the country. Because look, I mean, you're just you're on the first page and we're already to the 12th. It's the 14th right now. Right. People are only posting like a few times a day. It looks like I feel like South Florida's bust free hot tub. it it It's a bust for sure. What about a free hot tub? Is that flippable?

Speaker: A little work and it's ready to go. They say that's not no photo. never going to be a little. Yeah. No photo. That says it all. that That hot tub is probably the the hot tub equivalent of a rabbit with a pussy eye.

Speaker: Might come from the same guy. Look up New York. We might actually find something that Pierce could use. That's true. You know what saying? This is a really active freeze section. This is what I'm saying. Four minutes ago, 12 minutes ago, 12 minutes ago, 26 minutes ago.

Speaker: Rancho Gordo beans. Everybody eats. 3D plasma, 65-inch TV. Well, that's in Connecticut. How big is the range that you're putting on this, Derek?

Speaker: I just put all New York. I don't think Connecticut is part of New York. and Basically. Last time I checked, it wasn't. um Free moving out. was that Free moving out Brooklyn. Oh, cool. A bunch of crap on the street.

Speaker: Not ideal. No. Couch looks nice enough, but I guess they didn't find a cellar in time. I mean, it's probably covered in piss at this point. Yeah. if you put it If you put a couch outside within 30 seconds, there's piss on it Sailboat.

Speaker: Sailboat? Sailboat Newport. Whoa. Damn. Holy shit. Free sailboat. Free shitty destroyed sailboat. I mean, this is every sailboat is like this fucking it's a Craigslist fruitcake. You know, you just get a disgusting sailboat for free. You think, oh, this will be fun to clean up.

Speaker: Yeah. And then you do. i bet whatever what always happens is you do end up successfully cleaning it up. Then you do one drunken party on the sailboat and it's ruined. And you're like, well, fuck it. ah It was never mind. Oh, look at this fucking sailboat. Jesus.

Speaker: The nightmare. It's landlocked also. It's dam on the land. oh but see, I can see the sea. You see through the hole in the in the tarp. You can see it's sea adjacent.

Speaker: They don't say that it's not watertight. so pet Some people live on boats. This would be an awesome Chamber of Reason project if we were all in New York and then kind of pushed this into the water. And that's it.

Speaker: And then walked away. It just becomes sea trash. Yeah. We just paint our logo on the side and it becomes the Voyager record, but for the Hudson Bay.

Speaker: We put a new Craigslist free ad up that says free boat at the bottom of the river. Pretty good. You guys could just live on the boat like el Ron Hubbard style. Or Grimes when she took the raft down the Mississippi years and years ago.

Speaker: Grimes took a raft down the Mississippi. She did a bit of a Huck Finn thing down the Mississippi. This is years before Elon, of course. Do you think that Mark Twain could ever have envisioned a woman who looks like Grimes living on his sacred ah country soil? i mean, he probably never thought a woman could look that way.

Speaker: Right. ah Yeah. To answer your question succinctly, the answer to that question is no. No, there's no way. And he could imagine all kinds of shit. He mostly looked at stuff. yeah It's not an imagination thing. He very wry. was mostly looking at stuff and criticizing it. yeah Right. Right.

Speaker: right I mean, look, if you're to criticize stuff, you got to imagine a better world, Mr. Twain. Powdered milk, 15 per person free. So they have so much powdered milk that they're putting a limit on how much you can get.

Speaker: Right. We're going to need to check that out. from From Christian charities, I don't use. I can spare 15 pieces per party. I pick up in Q Gardens. My home text, please.

Speaker: I don't know. Couches, too. Couches are another thing that, ah well, okay, that one's not really. ah Yeah, that's a fairly aesthetically pleasing couch. I'm not going you. like it. i think in the lighting, it actually looks really nice. And, you know, every couch looks really nice with an ashtray and a glass of wine on the coffee table. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, it's been damaged. They use blankets to cover it.

Speaker: this is This is the pussy eye. it has It has one of the arms just falling apart. I guess it was scratched to hell by a cat or dog. One would hope, yes, not a human that was trying to escape their studio apartment. And what neighborhood is this in?

Speaker: Cobble Hill. No wait, Cobble Hill's pretty nice, right, Pierce? You like Cobble Hill. Hey, I like it all. Reload it See how many have have shown up since the last time you opened this page. I saw a really good one that said a dozen thin metal hangers.

Speaker: Local author offers free ocean thriller during World Ocean Month. Can we look at about that little That a good post. There we go. this is This is a perennial regardless of where you are. People love to post their self-published Kindle e-books.

Speaker: on the Megan, could you could you read the title of the book and then also the description here? ah Blue Planet, Red Tide, a novel, is the title of the book. um The novel asks a simple but timely question. What if an ancient civilization hidden beneath Earth's oceans finally revealed itself?

Speaker: Not to conquer humanity, but to stop humanity from destroying the planet they share. The story combines first contact, ocean science, environmental issues, military suspense, and adventure while drawing inspiration from real-world concerns such as ocean pollution, marine ecosystem decline, plastic waste, Shark finning and deep sea mining. Potential angles include world ocean launch feature. Okay, so oh so he's basically doing his own PR on Craigslist.

Speaker: He says he'd be happy to provide an interview, review, copy, guest article, podcast appearance. Podcast appearance. We have to have this guy on. Michael Harlow. Okay. The author of Blue Planet Red Tide. One of the angles is the journey from adventurer and filmmaker to novelist. Yeah. So you started out as an adventurer. When did you decide to become like a writer?

Speaker: That's my angle. The question is. ah questions to ask themselves. or I mean, he could even probably provide us with questions to ask him, specifically. Given what I'm looking at and what I'm reading, I'm going to say he's probably going to to provide the questions for himself.

Speaker: Well, I found his Facebook. Oh, you did? Yeah. you have any mutuals? No. ah His bio says, I'm one in eight billion! Exclamation point. um He works at Pacific Ocean.

Speaker: yeah Then he could, you should maybe send him the link to the sailboat. He might need one of those. Wait, that is a really good idea. You guys stop talking to me. Call this guy on the fucking phone. Get him on the podcast. I mean, yeah, that's a good idea. i wish that I could like get his phone number. I want to call one more guy.

Speaker: yeah Well, usually the people don't provide their phone number in the app. that's rare. That is insane. That's an insane thing to do is to publicly post your phone number when you're giving away a a ah pussy animal.

Speaker: You're going to get pranked by the host to Chamber of Reason. You got to see that one coming. That prank was epic, dude. I mean, he really got his feelings hurt.

Speaker: Yeah, it's it's always good to prank a guy with a sick animal. Give him a hard time. Oh, so you want to take care of your friend's animal? you fucking idiot. Didn't you know it was ruined? ah Derek, you're going make me want to call this guy back and apologize.

Speaker: That's a good idea for the second call. Should I? Yes. I've been thinking about it. I've just been reflecting on... Yeah.

Speaker: All right. How about this? Listeners, just take my word for it. I called him back and I apologized. And I had a very convincing story that accounted for my misbehavior.

Speaker: Okay, but we don't have to believe that. Yeah, no. I'm not saying... This is a video podcast to me in that I can see you in real time. And you can see that I'm smirking. Yeah. It's not convincing.

Speaker: Free hip-hop magazine. oh Big Girls Gone Wild. Not really a hip-hop magazine. Classic BBW Triple X. okay Take a look at this.

Speaker: oh oh so it's just a It's a link to it's a pd and a PDF scan of Big Girls Gone Wild magazine from March 2015. Oh my god, I love this website.

Speaker: That's cool. It makes it sound like ah you're turning the page when you open the book. yeah yeah yeah So someone is literally just the Christmas tree section to spread the good news. Yeah. These girls are getting wild.

Speaker: Alright, I'll call the number. There's a number? Where's the Yeah, well, it says text. Let's see what happens when you call it. The subscriber you have dialed is not in service. Fuck. Figures. Alright, don't you be really mean to the robot voice then, Pierce?

Speaker: Ha ha ha ha

Speaker: Derek, ah are you thinking that we're going to find something hilarious in this porno magazine? I mean, it's just going to be pictures of large asses shot POV style, which is what every picture thus far has been.

Speaker: Yep, there's a large ass POV style. Okay. Now, does this kind of thing happen on on free and for sale frequently enough? I mean, do you end up getting a link to a digital magazine that you can flip through and then your friend keeps saying, just wait, something funny is about it?

Speaker: ah that does' That does not happen, no but there are some times, because there used to be the Craigslist, ah the casual encounter section, where people would pick each other. That doesn't exist anymore, so sometimes people, out of desperation, will like ah sort of try and sell themselves on the Craigslist free section. like Right.

Speaker: I'm horny, ETC, ETC. I'm friendly. Yes. Horny, friendly. I just love when guys are just like seeking female roommate to do all dishes. No man allowed. i just love how that happens maybe four times a day. It's just like, yep, free rent. um Well, not free, but anyway.

Speaker: the illusion of ah free. Yeah. You got to do my dishes. Got to rub my feet. And hey, if things speak and and I'm not looking for anything serious either. I'm not looking for anything serious, but you know if by the way, I will just be ah Doing some light work and email sending in another tab while we talk ah Do you i don't know if you guys can hear i'm sorry?

Speaker: Can you guys hear this? Oh, is it the is it the turning of the page of the porno?

Speaker: Got it. got it Yeah, you're on your grind. Jesus or God or whatever rested on Sundays, but that doesn't mean you have to. no I gotta get some serious work done. yeah um Ooh, boxes of books on philosophy, art, social sciences, and Staten Island.

Speaker: You could take a little trip and get educated. This guy's out of his fucking mind. Nobody wants his shit. It's an entire 10-volume encyclopedia. Yeah, encyclopedia collections of any kind for any reason are all worthless.

Speaker: This guy's trying to give you trash. Also, I'm pretty sure they've learned more about sociology since these were published in 1968 or whatever. what is What is the thing you're actually looking for as a flipper? Tubas?

Speaker: and stop that up No, I'm not looking for tubas. No, I'm just looking for... huh don't know. When you see it, it's like, you know, it when you see it, you have a fine, it's like the definition of pornography. yeah You know it when you see it. Exactly.

Speaker: Tubas the same way. Well, the tuba just sort of fell in my lap. Right. You know, but also it's just like, if you've established yourself as the kind of person that will accept whatever trash anyone, you know, has sometimes tubas fall in your lap.

Speaker: guess that's true. Oh, high heels. There we go. know High heels. FMP. Let's go to that. Go to that. Go to that. What's FMP? I actually don't bedroom used for male pleasure.

Speaker: Yo, that means I don't know. i don't I'm guessing. I mean, it it tracks its size 6.5, though. That's like a that's quite small. But if it's bedroom used, why the hell are they giving it away for free? This is good shit, right?

Speaker: Well, this ah I do see this actually sometimes where um someone is giving away yes something like this and it's very obvious that they're just trying to lure someone into their apartment to possibly sexually harass them. Another good idea for a Chamber of Reason video episode. We go to this apartment and we try to buy the rest of their shit.

Speaker: Right. Or ah yeah they're probably, you know, hopefully trying to engage in consensual four male pleasure foot foot shoe play play. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'll sell you these, but first you have to wear them. first we're going to make fun of all your dying pets.

Speaker: Okay. Derek.

Speaker: but Give me a break, man. The guy kind of walked right into it with the toast thing. I mean, it have been named anything. The guy walked right into it like his rabbit walked into a Yorkie's claws.

Speaker: but but but But i do see i do see sometimes like it's very clear. like Somebody will post, ah oh, really big bras.

Speaker: And it's like, you're not, i know, we know these aren't your bras. You just want a big titted chick to show up at your house and be like, where are the free bras? yeah yeah You're only getting the free bras if i you let me put it on you.

Speaker: and e Wow. Now I'm searching bras on my own. This is awesome. Meg, how do you get any work done? How do you make any money on this website? There's so much, need there's, there's just trinkets and lovelies galore.

Speaker: I mean, when you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. You know what saying? True, true It's not work to me. It's not work to me. Oh, five-day-old chicks. Okay. From organic eggs. Is the implication that if a chick is not hatched from an organic egg, it's going to be brain damaged or something?

Speaker: think that is the implication, and that's also something i I didn't... I never wondered this before, but it is something I believe now that now that you mentioned it. Yeah, same. Do they have inorganic eggs? Yeah, eggs from something other than a chicken.

Speaker: Oh, what are the assorted magazines? Scientific American, bitch. Yeah, right. Are there any magazines you can flip? No, right? Yes, yes, yes. Like what? Old-fashioned magazines. i e There was one point... This was on the this was on Craigslist.

Speaker: some woman in like deep valley was getting rid of her entire collection of like maybe 20 years worth of them and i went in my car i went you know in my car which i own no big deal uh to deep valley filled but it was so many magazines it filled the car as in like the entire back and all the all the front seat and the back seat and as i was driving back home it was like thousands of pounds of magazines And as I was driving back home, I realized like, oh, the suspension seems odd.

Speaker: This is probably way too much weight for this car. Yeah. um And at a certain point, um it's not that the axle broke, but something sort of snapped under the car at some point.

Speaker: And it did end up costing about $800 to fix the car. However, I made $3,000 on the magazine. All right. now and And a lot of the magazines I was selling was for a while I was sick because I was selling lots of them.

Speaker: Like a lot is like, you know, a plurality of them in one go. And I was selling them to this guy. know what lot means. Selling them to this guy Israel who kept buying these big lots, right?

Speaker: And I was like, what is this guy doing with these? And I ended looking... paying for the shipping to Israel? Yeah, yeah. ah But I ended up looking at his own eBay and it turns out, and this is brilliant, he was parting out the magazines in order to sell ads with like feet or shoes Or like maybe lingerie ads in them.

Speaker: Wait, what do you mean? he he He would get the magazines and then he would part out like he would like cut out individual ads and then sell the ads. Oh, right. Vintage ad that you put like in a... You frame it or something as wall wire. No, no, no. It's sex it's it's sex stuff. it's like um Oh, I see. Okay. Like a guy remembers like jerking off to this ad in 1997, so now he wants it for nostalgia purposes.

Speaker: It's beautiful, though. But he stopped by when the war started. I remember he sent me like this at this like irate email because he hadn't gotten his magazine yet. And i was like, I don't really have any control over like you know when the mail is getting... Actually, we're boycotting and divesting from sending you porno mags. Sorry. Yeah.

Speaker: And sometimes I think about what that guy's up to now. Not enough to message him. but No, he's definitely up to normal crap. Yeah, I mean, so I do think that that is normie behavior is to become nostalgic for something you you jerked off to a while back. I think that's like, I think that is, a you know, real perverts, they move at light speed, you know? Cutting edge.

Speaker: Yeah. but What's a mist toilet? American standard Aegean mist toilet. Oh, maybe it's that's the color is Aegean mist. Yeah, that's a nice toilet. That is actually a color.

Speaker: Cool looking toilet, yeah. A bluish toilet. Because people want vintage like sinks, toilets, bathtubs, stuff that. Because they don't do you know like these colorways anymore. Okay, you can text or call.

Speaker: Pierce, it's your time to shine. You can call this person. About a toilet? In Nassau County. Alright. What are you going to say? What do you guys think I should say? Like I say, i mean you guys can be in my ears giving me advice, but...

Speaker: What do i really want to know? i guess I just want to know about the color. i mean, maybe like how long have you had the toilet? I guess I could disagree with their take that this is aging mist. You could be really grossed out um by the idea that it's used and you could kind of chew them out for not saying in the ad that it's used. That's a good call. All right, here we go.

Speaker: I don't think so, guys. Yeah. Your call has been Well, here's what I would have said. I'd be using it. Here's what I would have said. Aegean Mist? Are you sure it's not Mayfair White? That would be funny.

Speaker: Are you sure it's not been Comforting Green? I could see that being funny, yeah. Sure. Or you could have gotten their address to pick up the toilet and go and picked it up. Those are two.

Speaker: Anytime you answer the phone, those are the two options. I'm coming into your house to get your toilet. Or fuck you, idiot. Or both. Nice answering the phone, dumbass.

Speaker: You just fucked up. You you just fucked up big time, buddy.

Speaker: Bye.