72. Balding and Nothingness

Transcript

Speaker: Well, it's Chamber of Reason, and this is my intro. um Next, Matthew will introduce the episode. Welp, this is Chamber of Reason. This is Matthew Golden introduction to the show.

Speaker: It happens about 14, 15 seconds in, unless editing has occurred. But this is going to be a low edit version of the podcast. So let's not go on any digressions or adventures, guys. All right.

Speaker: And if you could tee up Pierce at the end of your intro. And after this subsequent to me, Pierce Campion is going to introduce the episode and not do anything surprising beyond that.

Speaker: Nope. This is no surprises there or here. ah Hey, it's an honor to be with my cohosts, Derek and Matthew. And i say, i ask, I ask to you guys, but how's your weekends going? do you guys, ah do you guys think that the weather is nice? yeah in the world? No, it's gotten worse and worse.

Speaker: Yeah, the permafrost, the viruses, the meltdowns, the nukes. Isn't it just getting hotter? Isn't it just getting become sunny California or Florida all over world? because you forget about wet bulb.

Speaker: What? What is that? Wet bulb. That's when the thermometer gets wet. And when the thermometer is wet, it actually has a completely different connotation than when it is dry.

Speaker: Why exactly? What is the like function or purpose of self-lubricating thermometers? It doesn't self-lubricate. think it condensates. It gets condensation on it like a wet glass.

Speaker: I see. Like a light bulb. If a light bulb gets wet, you're in trouble. Really? Yeah, it will electrocute you. Why? How? You're not even touching it.

Speaker: ah Yes, you are. But you are. Yeah. Maybe you are, but it's weird to... In this scenario, the light bulb is the weather, so we're all touching it all the time. I like Matthew's inquiry there. Wait, how you're not touching it? You could say that with a lot of stuff.

Speaker: Like surgery, even going under anesthesia is dangerous when it comes to surgery, even for a simple routine surgery. How you're there. It's not happening you. How? I'm not under anesthesia, so how does it hurt? A wolf or lion could hurt you.

Speaker: and No, they're far away. How? Gun violence is not a problem for me. No, not for me at all. And even if it was in my room, even if it was, it doesn't count as gun violence. It just counts as a misadventure or bad luck.

Speaker: Gun violence is when you shoot someone in the brain because you can't stand them. Not when a bullet hits you for, ah you know, fluke reasons. It's not violence if you shoot someone in the brain while liking them. Yes. As long as you stay positive while putting a bullet in someone's brain, you're going to. It's not it's like gun violence in that case. It's just gun use. That's just using your object ill advised. It's not right.

Speaker: It's actually less right than gun violence. Gun violence makes sense. If you hate someone, it does make sense on some level to put a bullet in their brain. But if you like someone, you're actually only harming yourself by putting a bullet in their brain.

Speaker: That's yeah more immoral is what you're saying. Yeah. more more immoral to harm yourself than other people. You know, we shouldn't call anything gun violence if it was done in jest or with a happy attitude. That would be like saying we have to solve the problem of hand violence just because there are some stranglers out there. Hands hands do all kinds of stuff.

Speaker: They're not only meant for violence. Yeah. Do you say that we need a license to use hands? You know, that's, uh, yeah. Yes, we do. Surgeons need like a license to use their hands, right? The surgeon before he gets in a bar fight is just like, careful, buddy. Then he holds up his hands. I, I kill people with these accidentally all the time. Surgeons do, right? Don't they kill?

Speaker: Isn't it like surprisingly high? Like 75% of their patients do pass away from the operating table. 75% of their patients pass away without even being operated on.

Speaker: They just pass away of old age while just chilling. 100% of the people that are on the planet while any given surgeon is on the planet will die. Yeah, during s surgery and during the lives of surgeons.

Speaker: Surgeons. so During the lives of surgeons. Surgeons. Men will die. We're going to pass away during the lives of surgeons. During surgery, just not ours. surgery for We don't know. we don it hasn't happened yet.

Speaker: ah all All surgeons might die. There might be some kind of retrovirus that ah kills every surgeon on the planet and leaves the rest of us immortal. I can only get hard if someone's doing surgery somewhere. What kind? What kind of hard?

Speaker: Surgery. What kind of hard to what look at him hard do I get? um I don't know. It doesn't matter what kind of surgery. You guys have heard this thing that hippos are like the most dangerous animal, right?

Speaker: To what? To what? ah To water? Hippos are the most dangerous animals to water. mud To mud. Because of how they splash. Hurt mud.

Speaker: They break mud. mud Mud hate hippos. It's so obvious. Mud hate hippos. What are you talking about with hippos? They're dangerous to human beings. beings Yeah, but it's almost like, I mean, I feel like other people have said this, but it is like cheating to say that hippos are the most dangerous to humans.

Speaker: It's like saying um water is the most used material. It's like, that doesn't count. When I say material, I mean excluding water. And when I say dangerous animals, I mean excluding hippos. Well, the thing about hippos is that doesn't, that only matters like one-on-one in an arena style combat, but open world bugs are the most dangerous to people because they infect.

Speaker: and They spread. they're They're doing numbers compared to hippos. Mosquitoes are lapping. And also, in an arena-style battle, I do think that... ah A hippo's worth of mosquitoes, like however heavy a hippo is, that many mosquitoes against one hippo, I think the mosquitoes would probably suck all the blood out easily. It would be cool to see a cloud of mosquitoes descend on a hippo and then just bones. Leave him bones.

Speaker: Turn him into a museum piece. Wait, that would be sick, actually. Yeah. How do we make this happen? Sucking a hippo dry would be such a once in a lifetime event. Yeah, for a mosquito. yeah For one of the mosquitoes. But we could set it up thousands of times with the years we've got left. You think so? I think the hardest part of this that we're describing is making the arena.

Speaker: We won't make it personally. We'll just hire contractors, architect. We'll hire them to say this is a new... We'll hire an angel investor to give us money. yeah Step one.

Speaker: Yeah. We'll hire a billionaire. Indentured billionaire. This cat is... I mean, I feel like Patrick in like the early episodes of Podcasts About List where he would always complain about his new cat, all like the misadventures, but... Well, I don't know all everything that happened in every episode of Pod About List.

Speaker: um No, I understand that. But just suffice to say that in the early days of podcasts about List, listeners well were quite frustrated with Patrick's insistent commentary on the lives of his cats. What you're saying makes no sense to me.

Speaker: I don't understand the reference. i'm mix i'm explaining I'm explaining. But I can't understand it because I haven't listened to it. Okay. I guess that's true.

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Someone can't explain to you a movie because you have to see it for yourself. You've got to see it. Did you guys ever have a friend who was like, oh, yeah, I read the Wikipedia for that movie.

Speaker: I still want to see it, but I already read the Wikipedia for it. I had a friend who only read Wikipedia articles for movies and loved it. like He would do it passionately and he'd be excited when a new movie was coming out.

Speaker: So he could read it? Once the movie came out, he could read about the plot but did not like movies. They were boring to him. Oh, he would read the Wikipedias after he watched it. He's a synopsis head. No, he would just read Wikipedia articles.

Speaker: Just read the synopsis, yeah. did the Is the thing he likes about movies like the the logic of how the story works or something? In all the cinematography, everything else, the acting, that's just incidental shit that gets in the way of the story.

Speaker: It's a generous interpretation. Like he's interested in like the technical like storytelling craft or something. But I think he was just a moron. More than anything. He's just interested in what happens to the characters. Yeah. The least interesting part of a movie.

Speaker: Yeah. What happened to them? How did it all work out? How did it all work out for them? A movie is simply a catalog, like an obituary for characters. Yeah. You introduce a character. This guy's name is Tom. Something very bad is going to happen to him. Keep reading.

Speaker: Keep reading. i mean, isn't that basically how we used to divide plots? Like... plots about where things go well in the end or things just ended up going awry by the end right that's all you really need to know what do you mean how we used to divide tragedies isn't that kind of what comedy yeah yeah tragedies were uh what happens to the character was always going to happen to this character and it was never good and comedies are just like hey nothing's happening to anyone Hooray! This is amazing.

Speaker: i think the classical definition is like um like a tragedy. What is it? I think it's like about order. like Tragedy so starts off with like a state of order, going to state of disorder, and comedy is the opposite, like starting off disorder, becoming ordered. Is that right?

Speaker: Well, when I went to school, they would say that tragedy is about a hero with a fatal flaw. Hubris is the most common fatal flaw, but the word for fatal flaw is Hamarsha.

Speaker: And somehow the status of the ah protagonist is lessened by the end because of fatal mistakes, usually because of pride. And then a comedy is just like... I don't think they knew what jokes were. I think comedy was just like, oh my God, look, it's 40 animals.

Speaker: that That was comedy back then. Look, oh my God, there are 40 animals in here. And not real animals, just men dressed as animals. And that would be the delightful comedy. Delightful ancient comedy stylings. To an ancient man, Mr. Bean would be seen as a tragedy.

Speaker: Because they'd say, where the animals? Yeah. How could this be funny when there's not 80 creatures, a vulture, a fawn, and ah of course there's the frogs. Aristophanes is the frogs. You guys know about that one?

Speaker: ah No. How's it go? Or what happens to the frog at the end? There are just a bunch of frogs. I don't even think the frogs are real important characters. I think it's about someone going to the underworld and then there are frogs there that sing.

Speaker: That's funny as fuck. Isn't that funny as fuck? Well, do you guys want to get to our podcast? you guys want to get to it? Okay, getting to the podcast. This is from the atheism subreddit.

Speaker: Does this come from one of our listeners? Yes, one of our listeners wanted us to read this. One of gorgeous, gorgeous listeners. um Amanda, I think. All right. Shout out. So this one goes, I think I made my grandma commit suicide by opening her eyes to atheism.

Speaker: Hey Reddit, about two weeks ago, I was talking with my grandmother because my grandfather had recently passed away. She was completely heartbroken, which was understandable. While we were talking, she mentioned that my grandpa's soul had not been saved and she was worried that he's in hell.

Speaker: In an effort to comfort her, I tried to open her up to the idea that there might be nothing after death. So grandpa most likely wasn't burning in hell. My grandmother has always been a level-headed woman, so she listened without getting angry, even though she had been religious her whole life.

Speaker: I brought up a bunch of points, and it honestly seemed like I had swayed her beliefs a little and maybe even comforted her. I believe I was wrong, though. Because last week she was found in her home after overdosing on her prescription medication.

Speaker: Her estimated time of death was only a few hours after she had sent a text to my mother telling the family that she loved all of us and that, quote, I can't spend the rest of my time focused on something that doesn't matter.

Speaker: I feel like this is my fault to some extent, but I'm not going to hold myself accountable for her decision. This is like a perfect sort of chamber of reason philosophical brain teaser.

Speaker: I don't know if it's real. It feels a little bit too good to be true, like the guy who's um who is always getting cucked by his son in an incest house. you know It seems like a little bit too delicious to be true. You think they're sort mentally masturbating while they write this post? Yes. I used atheistic...

Speaker: arguments were so compelling that it actually led to someone's suicide. I think in order for it to be true mental masturbation of that degree, they would also have to mention that their grandma was a chud.

Speaker: Yeah, she was chudded. I remember when I... This is like like any any kind of ah story that paints the person is so imbued with ah like aesthetic or verbal prowess.

Speaker: I remember i used to I told my friend once, just completely lied. I was like, you know, the guy who at first designed the alien from the alien movies, H.R. Geiger, some of his work is so scary that they actually showed a woman some of his paintings and she died of fright.

Speaker: And he said, what? No, that can't be true. They're not even that scary. And I realized I hadn't seen any of them. but I just heard that they were kind of odd looking. They're not not actually scary. They're not scary enough to make you die of fright. but They chained a woman down and showed her a painting. yeah She couldn't help but die.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't know i i think I think it's good that old people can be told one piece of information that instantly drives them to suicide.

Speaker: If that's true, if this story is true, it just means that too many old people are clinging to life with no reason or evidence. That's my take. That obviously she was meant to commit suicide and she had some irrational blockage. Yeah. I mean, that's almost like a religious argument you're making, Matthew. She was meant to commit suicide. God wanted her to do that. Yeah.

Speaker: Fear of hell is keeping way too many old people. And really, only old people seem to fear hell. I mean, that's true, right? That it is fear of hell that's mostly keeping old people alive. like isn't Isn't it some surprising number? Like 99% of old people would but would probably choose like assisted suicide or like euthanasia.

Speaker: if they didn't believe so much in hell. like Because most people... Once they reach a certain point of like, like once you've reached a point in your life where you're going to pass away, where it's like, oh, here's the thing it's happening to you.

Speaker: That's the thing that's going to make you pass away. Isn't that why old people are so brave? Like that false sense of bravado when you see an old person like standing up to, let's say like a supervillain landing in the middle of Times Square. It's always an old person going up to them and wagging their fingers for.

Speaker: Yeah, secretly they want they want their head to be knocked off. They want to die and they think their act of heroism is like a fast track to heaven. No, totally. I think that's what like people talk about with like you know old Karens in like Florida. or just like The guy who strangled the teenager in the lake that he lives next to. I think he was just like, well, I'm clearly doing the right thing because he's trespassing.

Speaker: And if I can strangle a trespasser in my last few minutes of high blood pressure life, then I will instantly go to heaven. But you're right It's like they're trying to sneak onto a runaway heaven train.

Speaker: Every opportunity they get to do a ah technically good deed, but it's really just an American being ah like a vigilante. You sort of have to think that like any person, like obviously you can't judge people fully while they're still alive. But once someone has died, if they've died of natural causes and have they and they have not died of assisted suicide,

Speaker: you can safely assume they were like a moron, right? In most cases, like in most cases, you can just assume, oh well, that person died of old age. They must have been superstitious.

Speaker: Mm-hmm. Yeah, a a superstitious moron. i think that is who dies of old age. That's that's literally that's who lives that long is someone who's fundamentally afraid of the next realm and then also too stupid to too stupid to get over their fear. Their completely misplaced fear. The one thing that you know for certain is going to happen to you is that you're going to die and instead of accepting it, they just cling and and believe and hope that they're passing on wisdom before they die. Yeah, passing on their wisdom and bravery to another another round of complete fear-mongered. But that's why it's interesting that like not that many old people die of self-annihilating heroism. like There aren't very elderly suicide bombers, typically. um these are This is a young man's game. like Why is that?

Speaker: That's a good question. That is a good question. I think old people would be suicide bombers if they believed that it would change the lives of anyone around them that they cared about. i think by the time an old person is is ah resolved to the fact that they're going to die, they have no one left in their life that they would care to make any sacrifices for. They simply don't care about others.

Speaker: That's true. Well, yeah, I think joining a terrorist cell is sort of like joining a rock band or something because you're with your friends, like other young people, and you're doing something that feels so like kind of like cool and fashionable and courageous.

Speaker: um But when you're old, it's just like you have a bunch of like nephews and shit. And it's just like it really doesn't pay to be that radical. Yeah, you don't get pussy. Exactly. You can, but just pussy from some stranger. but It's not pussy from your girlfriend or my girlfriend, which is awesome. Your girlfriend doesn't exist anymore. no When you're that old, your girlfriend is she doesn't exist. She's no more. She's from the past.

Speaker: When all your girlfriends are from the past, you know you're not even going to enjoy suicide bombing. Do old people even commit crimes generally if it's not like ah screaming at a young person for trespassing? Who was it? like ah Was it Rip Torn who like broke into a bank or something?

Speaker: That's cool. But was he um talking about was he strange in that moment? Was he suffering? He was inflicting suffering. yeah he He broke into a bank when he was 79 years old. he They found him asleep and drunk.

Speaker: And then ah he asked the police, ah what are you doing in my house? When they found him. Whoa. He must have been really drunk. And his name was Rip Torn. Yeah, what do you expect? His name's Rip Torn.

Speaker: Yeah, his mind was ripped and torn by the years. I would say Rip Torn is like one of the few counter examples to this. To what? To the cowardice of old people. Right. He went ripping and tearing all the way down into hell.

Speaker: He's the dupe slayer. Are they cowards or is it just indifference? Is it the fact they don't care about the current set of people on earth? Because in that case, like, you know, that thing people say, like that old, like horny guys who can't get it up say like youth is wasted on the young.

Speaker: It seems to me like then it's like, yes, like senescence is wasted on the old, right? Or senile, whatever it is, right? Yeah. sil yeah Because, yeah like the problem with being young, you have all this vigor, and vitality, ability to act, but you care about the people around you.

Speaker: You want to be cool. You should just be able to be like an old person doesn't It is true. They they always say, i mean, yeah, it's like the opposite of the youth is waste on the young, which you're right. People only say as soon as they can't get hard.

Speaker: The instant you can't get hard, you say that. But a lot of young people say like admirably admiringly about like an old person who doesn't give a fuck. they're like, damn, I want to be like that old guy who's, you know, just shitting his pants at CVS or unbothered screaming at a service worker gangsta.

Speaker: Right. He don't give a fuck. Damn. You know, i wrote a question just in case we weren't going to read questions that is very similar to what we're talking about now. So maybe I'll just read it and we can continue this conversation.

Speaker: Do it. My question is, why do men go bald? Is baldness a punishment for behaviors associated with testosterone or a price for systemic patriarchal power?

Speaker: Do you think of baldness more as an ancient curse or a genetic fluke? And I'm wondering, with old people and especially old men, mean, people always say like, just another bald guy, another old bald guy taking away my rights.

Speaker: But it's like... Sometimes I think that the baldness is like, oh, that's like a little ugly decoration for this person that I don't like.

Speaker: But it's almost like baldness is an invisible phenomenon. And then by noticing it, it's like you're noticing patriarchy itself. You're not noticing a lack of hair. You're noticing like the ah sort of...

Speaker: so subliminal power structure of masculinity when you notice baldness. So that's that's my question. Do you guys think of it as a punishment or price that that men pay for their testosterone or masculinity?

Speaker: m good That's a very good question, Pierce. Actually? Yeah. I don't really know what I think on this. whether it's a Whether it's a price for for having high testosterone?

Speaker: Well, some men do say, a cope, the reason that I'm bald is because of my high testosterone. And if even if that's true but from a biological perspective, which I think that there's some...

Speaker: that I think it has there's some truth to it, but even if it is true, i think it invokes this idea of exchange. You've exchanged your excess testosterone or you've exchanged your hair for excess testosterone. It's a cope because it actually works the other way around. As as soon as you um you're losing something up there, you get to have all the testosterone to make up for it.

Speaker: Right. So the exchange is is there either way. So there's something being exchanged either as a cope or ah or as or in reality. It does feel like the thing the one thing that like a lot of people on the left do to criticize, like to um hit men with a low blow or hit the patriarchy with a low blow is say, oh, and they're bald too.

Speaker: And by the way, you're bald. On the left, they do this? On the left to criticize patriarchy. I don't think I'm speaking out ofs turn here. I think on the left to criticize patriarchy, baldness is often involved. They do bald punching on the left, unfortunately. so do you guys think of it as a, as do you guys think of it as this stuff or do you think of it as a, just a simple genetic fluke that cannot be thought of in these broad political or ethical strokes? Yeah.

Speaker: Well, I guess I do think of balding as a simple genetic fluke, but ah in terms of how it's seen and talked about, there's obviously lot more to it than that.

Speaker: Let's hear some of it. See, this is what, isn't it hard to talk about? i mean, Matthew, yeah. I think you and I are both, if you've definitely dealt with baldness, whereas I am currently maybe dealing with it.

Speaker: But do you feel like something that you can? i guess you're dealing with it. I'm dealing with it. It's a process. but you think that Sometimes I feel like it's impossible to even talk about.

Speaker: When you say hard to talk about, what what do you mean? i guess you said ah that there's a lot that could be said, but then you didn't say anything. To me, that's indicative of something that's hard to talk about.

Speaker: Hmm. That's why I feel like baldness is a subliminal part of our reality that's actually hard to address. Maybe baldness is more of like a mind virus. And then the more you talk about it, the more it um sort of instantiates itself. I think that's a big thing on like the trustless subreddit as they say men who post the tops of their heads, they say, hey, am I going bald? And then some of the comments are like, no, but you're going to make yourself go bald with all this worrying.

Speaker: So there's another it that makes it... You're going to bring it down on yourself. You shouldn't have come to us, man. This is not a community for support. ah ah Right. Talk about it being hard to talk about. some Some men literally say the more you talk or think about it, the more quickly it will happen. Really?

Speaker: Well, based on what I just ah said. yeah Hair follicles are extremely sensitive. as soon as they can um As soon as they feel that thought emanate from your skull, they die. Yeah.

Speaker: I mean, it is close to the mind, too Do you guys think that the mind has anything to do with this? And if so, what are the gender differences between the mind of a man and the mind of a woman? It's all a matter of perception, right? Like, I think you see yourself probably as bald and other yeah other people don't. Balding. Balding. Balding.

Speaker: But that's aging. That's like saying, i see so I see myself as aging. Everyone is balding. I think it's different though because everyone ages and not everyone balds. I think everyone is balding. Their hair is falling out at all times.

Speaker: Or not every second. but Certainly not all women. Not all women are are developing ah a pattern of baldness. Thins out. To a degree. Thins out. And then there's no after they um they pass away. After they pass away, yeah. The hair doesn't last forever. if you if you first If you break open like an old coffin, it's not going to be a long flowing lox. It's going to be a bald head skull.

Speaker: A skull. There's something scully. Something scully about male pattern baldness. I guess the point I was trying to make is that I think you're probably balder than all of us because you consider yourself to be balding.

Speaker: And I think being bald is really like a non-state thing. it's not it's playing It's balding that is the that occupies the mind. I think you're right. I think balding' is the most balding is the moment where you are wondering what's going on with baldness. yeah But once you're bald, you're just like... you're contemplating it.

Speaker: But then it's interesting. There are also people who are like... yeah i mean i I guess, yeah, it's all mental. it's like i mean I remember having a conversation or like being at a party with some people and I... like made some joke about being bald. And then I roped another bald guy into it at the party. I was like, just like so-and-so.

Speaker: Like, he knows what I mean. And he was like a fully shaved head, like right bald guy. like And you can see he just has the like stuff in the back. Right. And he said, I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker: He didn't want to be implicated? didn't want to be implicated and he didn't identify, i guess, or... Or thought that his like shaving ah of the head or something was disguising it or something. He really left you out in the cold there too.

Speaker: He left me out in the cold. Very rude. Yeah. It's interesting that like, I think Pierce, you're someone who has a full head of hair. I think most people would say full head of hair, but you are bald. I do obsess about it. Yeah.

Speaker: You're bald. I'm already bald in my mind. Yeah.

Speaker: Because I catch myself on security cameras, ah monitors in bodegas and drugstores, and I can see a big bald spot. But I guess only from that angle.

Speaker: And when I was really worried about getting becoming bald and like taking finasteride and stuff, I was watching bald content. I was watching like like videos like The Bald Song. I was searching, oh, is there a parody for No Air called No Hair? Yes, there is. What's The Bald Song? And then...

Speaker: Just there's several. There is no one bald song, but, you know, when I used to get kidney stones, I would search kidney stone song. this is how i This is how I feel like I'm held by a community of sufferers.

Speaker: See if anyone's written a funny song about it. What's the Norwood scale? I hear people reference that sometimes. Just a scale of how much you've progressed through male pattern pattern baldness. But who do you have who's Norwood?

Speaker: I don't know. Patient zero for baldness. Where are you in the Norwood scale, guys? Me? Yeah, both of you. I'll have to find out. Well, it's interesting because I feel like the my front hairline... In the Norwood scale, it always shows that you're ah your rear bald spot forms after your ah front hairline begins.

Speaker: So if anything, I think I'm and a Norwood 3V. But I don't think my front hairline is that affected by baldness. I think I just have a tiny bald spot in the back.

Speaker: I mean, according to this, I have bangs, so I must be one. Although, I mean, my my hairline... goes up a little bit a little bit yeah it it goes up you can see that goes up for me the ideal hairline which I don't have would be like the like kind of um Dracula hairline with the the M Widow's Peak yeah yeah that's cool I don't have that though I wish I had a Widow's Peak that shit's so gangsta it reminds me of Wolverine too does Wolverine even have that we yeah where does Wolverine fall on the Norwood scale

Speaker: He does have a widow's peak. Wolverine is a he doesn't he's not even bald, really. ah He's not bald at all. You're thinking of Professor X, who... I mean, talk about a mind. Talk about the shit coming from the mind. Professor X's mind is so powerful, you'd have to think. If you were at his academy, and like I don't know, if Professor X did something you didn't like, he gave you like sort of a failing grade in your anatomy class or whatever, it would be complete cope to say, oh, that bald son of a bitch...

Speaker: exactly Everybody knows he's the smartest guy around and he can move shit with his mind. So, right you know, you're just clinging on to like one little aspect of his his physical appearance, which is so pathetic.

Speaker: Also, Beast is blue. Yeah, you could say you blue son of a bitch. And for Professor X, it's like, why not just go straight for the wheelchair? call him a Call him a little wheelchair guy. I do feel like people call Professor X bald more than they call him a cripple. Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker: So there you go. well right Well, do you think you guys haven't known me as a non bald man, but do you think my quality of baldness ah kind of frames how you see me? do you see my like ah personality, my brilliance? Do you see any of that differently?

Speaker: you see my brilliance differently? I think that your baldness is like just a plus 2% buffer to your brilliance, but it's nothing beyond that. It's not even like part of your character screen for me. Really? Yeah. It doesn't even show up in your render most times because I think of you as wearing a hat, even though you haven't been wearing hats lately. Hmm. Interesting. Whoa. back in the day, you used to wear a baseball cap.

Speaker: ah Yeah, I guess when we met, I went through i was going through like a six-month period of wearing a hat. yeah that Yeah, you really are locked in with how people meet you. But I do think it would be a great bit for you. I mean, just like a really funny bit if you went to Turkey and you came back with just like shoulder-length hair.

Speaker: I mean, yeah, would be amazing, but... It would be funny to do that for like a year and a half and then go straight back to looking how you look now and then not not even talk about it. It would be funny to spend all that money on a hair transplant, the recovery, have a full head of hair, and then start shaving it.

Speaker: Right. Start shaving it every day. That way you could really get one over on that asshole that ignored you at the party. You'd be like, I really am actually shaving it. Right. No, I have Fabio-esque hair, but I'm shaving down to nothing. Fuck you. You're shaving just to hide.

Speaker: I will say that for the record for Pierce or for any men who are suffering from male pattern baldness or worried about male pattern baldness, that shaving it all off is the coward's way out.

Speaker: Without a doubt, you are hiding. You are really? Yeah. No, you don't think so? I guess I don't. I guess yeah I knew you to be that guy for a while, but you you don't identify with that anymore.

Speaker: It was a brief period and I was wrong. You were wrong to shave it all off. Again, it was just a year of my life. ah But i was bald well before that. I realized, I mean, I did that because several people had said the opposite to me. They said it's the best look.

Speaker: But right you do that, you realize like you're a coward. you are The reason why they say to do that is because they think, well, people won't know you're bald if you do that. No, they know.

Speaker: They just think that, oh, he wants his look to be better. No, not everyone does know, actually. kind of does work. Yeah. Yeah, if you if you shave your head completely, and my experience was when I tried to make jokes about being genetically bald, I would say a good 50% of the time people would...

Speaker: be like what do mean don't you just shave it all off you're not actually you're not i don't think it was being polite i used to buzz my hair every every time i got a haircut you know i would just like grow it out and buzz it all off and then lately i've been seeing just like the sort of alopecia uh asymmetry of my rear head and that's given me great deal of pause Matthew, I think correctly identifies shaving your head completely being form of cowardice. And I just know just to connect dots here, it is sort of like the equivalent of being afraid of hell.

Speaker: And for an old person, their cowardice would be to continue living. Right. It disguises continuing to live is disguised the fact that you're actually in hell. You're already in hell. Right. And shaving completely bald disguises the fact that you're already in hell.

Speaker: I think that's true. I think that's a good point. Shaving your head isn is a coward solution because it doesn't solve the fact that life is hell, that life is bad. Yeah. And that you're and yeah they that your hair is going. Your hair is going.

Speaker: And real human connection is simply not possible with or without hair. Yeah. It can't be done. It simply can't be achieved. And also, I'm looking at a photo here of of Rip Torn after he he broke into that bank.

Speaker: Guy was certainly losing it up top. Really? But he didn't shave it all bald. what saying? He broke it. he did he He was courageous on both fronts. Do we want to read some more ah questions from our Discord? I have a few. I have ah yeah i have something good.

Speaker: All right, cool. Let's hear it. Okay, this one is from the Spirituality subreddit. Matthew, you should read. Famous people in the afterlife. So whatever your view is of the afterlife, heaven slash hell, higher plane of existence, different varying planes, Buddhism, <unk> etc.

Speaker: Do you think famous people, especially entertainment, business figures, will achieve an elevated place in the afterlife or not? I tend to think so.

Speaker: I think those who have great tribulations on earth and are rather anonymous while here will be the ones to achieve great peace and elevation. Oh, I tend to think no, they said. I see. Okay.

Speaker: No, I tend to think so. I misread it. Now I know I'm greatly generalizing and scenarios vary, but I think in general, great tribulation is necessary to a degree for spiritual advancement.

Speaker: Yes, I know some famous people do experience tribulations, but in general, I think they're blessed relative to many others. Thank you. Is tribulation have the same root as like tripping? Is it related?

Speaker: What's tripping? It's when two women rub. Oh, it's like frottage, but for girls. Yeah. Scissoring, really. Scissoring, yeah. It's scissoring. Hmm.

Speaker: I've just Googled tripping. Okay, go to Google Images. Yeah. And you'll it has diagrams of what what I'm talking about. I'm seeing this now. Uh...

Speaker: You know, if I had to guess, I'd say tripping does come from tribulation, not vice versa. But I'm sure it's just a tribulating affair trying to get two clits to touch. Right. What a hassle.

Speaker: This reminds me of my lifelong struggles. This question about famous people in the afterlife, it brings me back to our episode Chandler's Hot Tub, where we talk about how famous people, famous people get to be reunited with their icon in the afterlife.

Speaker: But I wonder if my perspective has changed on this, because that would kind of mean that, you know, famous people aren't more powerful or, you know, have a more elevated place in the afterlife, just that they're surrounded by more of themselves.

Speaker: But maybe that's what power or elevation means, is to just like have more sort of ego amulets in your surroundings. What would it mean to have an elevated place in the afterlife?

Speaker: They're really obsessed with the word elevated as well as tribulations. Elevate your higher up in the cloud. Well, that's not really, they don't really see it as clouds, right? It's only sort of dorky American Christians who see it as that way.

Speaker: Mostly dorky American Christians, I think. This person might see it that way. Right. Yeah. Then I guess higher up in the clouds, right? Closer to the sun. Closer. More gold.

Speaker: More wings. Brighter. Harder Harder to breathe. But really, like what there isn't what would that mean? Because you know with gold, you're not spending it.

Speaker: With harps, you only need you only need the one. I mean i like to imagine like heaven as sort of a caste system. right And like God is king, of course. Then you have the angels and then you have like basically celebrities and the rest of you. I mean, even if you I think I disagree with them. I think even if you have a lot of tribulation, I think once you get to heaven, you try to cash that out. People are like, we don't care.

Speaker: You're sorry. You're sleeping in the heaven shanty town. You're a serf in heaven. Yeah. Why? Why would tribulation count for anything in heaven? Yeah. Isn't it about not sinning? Yeah. Can you be rewarded heaven?

Speaker: Can you be rewarded for suffering greatly, but never being good? i mean, every person, every incarcerated person. i mean, America would have the most people going to heaven of anywhere on earth, right?

Speaker: Just because of the torture and torment yeah and tribulations. It's actually why America has the right approach. We're sending as many people to heaven as possible. Everyone else goes to hell in these like social democracies in Europe or whatever. They're all going to hell because there's no tribulation.

Speaker: They get like public housing... And they pass away and they go straight down. It's not even that like American ah torment leads to people going to heaven per se. just It just makes possible the idea that all of the tormented souls who are currently incarcerated or dying of hunger are just in a better place when they die. Even if it's non-existent. that I mean, non-existence is an afterlife if your life was full of tribulations and torment. If you cease to exist when you die, you are in a better place. No place.

Speaker: So that's what people mean when they say he's in a better place now. They say that after someone who suffered a great deal ah had their suffering ended. And that's what they should say if somebody had a really great life is he's in a worse place now.

Speaker: He doesn't have any of his cool shit. Yeah. do you think it's possible? you think it's possible that even the greatest life can be like that the greatest life can be better than non-existence? i think so Yeah, I tend to think that life when it's good is better than non-existence. Yeah. Interesting. Okay.

Speaker: Do you not feel that way? do you think non-existence is preferable to all life, even its joys? Probably, right? Well, guess not right for you, but... Probably not. What's good to get in a really good life? Like a blowjob?

Speaker: Yeah. Or two. Two blowjobs and like intimacy with like long-term friend. hu Yeah, but you're in a beer on your boat. You're getting a tan.

Speaker: Your skin tingles because everything feels so good all the time. You're getting brought a tray of shrimp. Oh, yeah. Shrimp. I think it's just like it kind of goes shrimp with cocktail sauce.

Speaker: Beer, blowjob, boat, suntan, jumping into the water, the smell of sunscreen, the beach generally. All of these things are better than nothing.

Speaker: Really? Yeah. ah Let's see what else. um You know, a lollipop, child's laughter, a sprinkler, or rainbow. There's no way you like all these things that much.

Speaker: I am dead serious. These things make a life worth living, make it better than no life at all. And I'm not saying that life isn't full of suffering and pain. It is. And I doubt that all of the suffering and pain makes up for all of the lovely things. But between if I had a life of pure bliss or no life at all, I would definitely pick a life of pure bliss. If I go to non-existence, I'm going to be missing my monogrammed robe and my slippers.

Speaker: Slippers. Oh my God, Matthew, a hotel with a mini bar a big tub in the towels, a robe, TV, Shark Tank. I mean, you've even spoken about the pleasures of like taking a dump, you know, the simplest of pleasures.

Speaker: Yeah, but they're pleasures relative to other things in life. Like taking a dump feels really good compared to not having to do that. But you think you think we'd be if we were free from all comparison, it would all be pretty good. Pretty OK.

Speaker: Well, just wouldn't how is it even possible to prefer nothing over something? It's not even ah but it's like if you prefer nothing over something, it's not even a preference anymore. It's definitely possible.

Speaker: People choose that all the time. I think you can only have a preference between two things. It's the most common ah way people are killed in war, actually, is suicide.

Speaker: Did you know that? They're killed by suicide. That's the most common cause of death in war. Like when a guy shoots himself in the head and someone else is staying right behind them. e Fuck!

Speaker: Ouch! Some of your bullet got on me. but like But think about it. i mean like War is something people will sign up for because they get all these like rewards. like you get all this You get all this money, glory.

Speaker: ah People like want to sleep with you. You're like a great military leader. And yet, despite that good life that war leads to, most active servicemen commit suicide.

Speaker: And they also promised them sort of like in the afterlife, you'll get 72 nothings. Right. God. Yeah. I don't know. i It's funny when I was listing all the things that I like and you said there's no way you actually like all that stuff.

Speaker: I mean, i find it hard to believe. A child's laughter is really... like You're not that like simple. I'm not that sentimental, but I do think that a child's laughter with the other things I mentioned, a sprinkler, droplets of water, and a little rainbow in the summer. And look, I have to know the children. They have to be like my nieces or nephews. andm I'm not going to just get delighted by any child's laughter. But like if I'm at a family function and the kids are playing and laughing, um but you know I agree. How long can that last? One of them is going to fall down and be like, nah!

Speaker: Yeah, mommy, he hit me. You have to hit him now. That kind of shit always happens. that point, you should just kill yourself. At that point, you have to kill yourself at the family barbecue. I shouldn't have mentioned children's laughter because that is such cope and... Well, the sprinkler too. Come I mean, all of these things.

Speaker: None of these things add up to a good life. I'm not saying they add up to a good life. I'm saying they're all preferable to non-existent. A sandwich? Yeah. I feel like you guys aren't seeing the bigger picture. It's like, if you're in prison...

Speaker: for like long term period of time, obviously you're going to value the things you end up valuing in that environment. Like, yeah, my cellmate, I like. I prefer that.

Speaker: I like that. I prefer that to not being in prison. Wait a second. No, like you should still want to not be locked up. For a prisoner, all of his examples will be like the smell of urine in the morning when the guard yells at me getting beat up in the yard.

Speaker: The clang of the guards' billy club against the metal bars that lock me in. All right. Well, then, without without it being prison, then, what about just, like, a beautiful, serene, free experience on, like, a hike or nature walk? I mean, it's hard to say that that's prison. Like, the prison of consciousness?

Speaker: What if for a second you forget all your thoughts and you're just at one with nature? that' is is that That's approximating C-C-2. That's as close as you can get. Every every like profound pleasure that you can experience in life is like a meager approximation of non-existence. A facsimile of non-existing at all.

Speaker: Yeah, like if I were to say, Matthew, what about a sensory deprivation tank? Isn't that better than nothing? And then you say, it's as close to nothing as you can get. Yeah, what about orgasm? Le petit mort.

Speaker: Right? Right.

Speaker: No. So you're right. All of my things are kind of stupid now. I'm just saying like, think about it you know, sugar is good and being drunk is good. It's like, okay. Of course. Okay. Sure they are. But that's just you getting close to not existing. Yeah. It's just you getting halfway. Nice to get halfway. Congrats. Almost there. you could have gotten and alcohol poisoning and actually reached the state of bliss. But instead you just got intoxicated.

Speaker: Cowardly again, another instance of cowardice. if To enjoy life is cowardly. What you're actually trying to do is die. That's the best way to enjoy life. I kind of want to ah get back to the question here.

Speaker: And i just want to ask you guys, like assuming there is a hierarchy in heaven, um who do you think would be really high up famous people wise? When we say famous, do we mean notorious? Because like I feel like Jesus or the Buddha, those those guys are probably high up there, but probably not. like Those guys don't don't count as famous, right?

Speaker: I think maybe. I mean, like because how could you measure the valence of someone's notoriety? like I feel like you could you could only do it on recognizability, which would mean that Hitler would have to be one of the most high-ranking people in heaven.

Speaker: Yeah, if it's just notoriety. Well, I think if we're going off of this idea of tribulations, I think right now, like, heaven is probably becoming quite overpopulated with, like, Jeffrey Epstein's victims.

Speaker: And also Catholic Church's victims, right? Which is an ongoing problem. Yeah. And... Yeah, I mean, I don't bring that up to make fun of this problem. This is a very serious situation.

Speaker: But... It's an ongoing situation. But it it has been, like, established that... ah Victims of abuse ah with 100% certainty perpetuate the cycle in every given case, every generation.

Speaker: So, yeah, it's not good to be in heaven. It's dangerous because you're surrounded by all these victims who are more likely than not.

Speaker: Perpetrators in waiting. Perpetrators in waiting with 100%. I mean, that is why people are so horrified when they like... un-repress a memory, right? And they realize like, okay, i was actually It's like being a Monturian candidate.

Speaker: Great, now I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to re-traumatize others. I don't want to. Yeah, I think that the yeah the great Jack the Ripper, all the greatest criminals, they have to be elevated in heaven because they were so notorious.

Speaker: I mean, what else were they doing it for? Were they really doing it To be ah at a lower rank in hell? No, they were doing it so that they could have slaves in the underworld.

Speaker: that's what That's probably what happens when you kill someone for pleasure is in death, they become your slave. Yeah, we agree with serial killers on this. Yeah. We agree with their perspectives.

Speaker: But you have to truly be killing for pleasure. Like if it crosses your mind that they're going to become your slave in the afterlife while you're killing them, they won't be. you that that You lose the slavery contract. yeah It disappears. can't instrumentalize your victims.

Speaker: you know It's interesting how notoriety works with some of these actors. It's like when Matthew Perry arrived in heaven, do you think that he had all this power as Matthew Perry or do you think he was instantly transformed into Chandler or subsumed by the Chandler personality?

Speaker: Honestly, you get re-traumatized by what you did in life. Like, I think as soon as you arrive in the afterlife, you forget about all the things you did for money, all the things you did for pleasure.

Speaker: Like, I think you are just like a non-entity. As soon as you go to heaven, you're just a blank soul among ah many, many blank souls in a mass grave. And then eventually you get re-traumatized of like, oh, fuck, who was i on earth? Who was I in life?

Speaker: So I don't think a ghost is someone who has like unfinished business on Earth. A ghost is someone who's been dead for hundreds of thousands of years who just remembered who they were. And seeing their ghost is like, oh, there're they're remembering. They're coming back because ah they were awoken.

Speaker: Their old memories were awoken. Ghosts are time travelers. Ghosts are like a people people who have been in the afterlife so long that they're therere they have dementia. Ghosts are like... Yeah, if that makes sense.

Speaker: Makes sense to me. That makes sense. Yeah. Aren't you supposed to lose your individuality in heaven if you're really all about that? I think everybody goes to heaven and then hell is just like kind of a neighborhood in heaven that sucks.

Speaker: e I like... Yeah. Hell... They have to be the same thing, really. They have to be related. If you're really good, you go to heaven and it is the same place as hell.

Speaker: If you're really good, you lose your individuality and you become like a building. You become like part of the like architecture of, well, what is for the...

Speaker: people in their hell but it feels really good for you to be a building so that's effectively heaven for you that's really is really beautiful like imagining now that matthew perry was sent to heaven and everyone in heaven was really excited that he got there because hey a new club just opened this building called the chandler where we all go and uh do ketamine while sitting in a hot tub yeah all those all those kind of demons in hell or heaven, yeah, get getting to enjoy him.

Speaker: Even if he is a good guy, he can still, even as even if those people inside of him are bad men, you can still give them a good time, right? Yeah. And also the building can talk.

Speaker: It's better that way. Like in Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse. Everything in heaven talks, right? Everything basically talks these days in heaven. This whole Internet of Things.

Speaker: Yeah, the smart thats smart cloud. Heaven's smart cloud. It wipes your ass for you. Because that's normal. they have Japanese toilets.

Speaker: They've Japanese-ed it up there. It is probably fairly Japanese in there, right? If it deserves to be called heaven, it will be somewhat Japanese.

Speaker: ah Well, should we do one more thing? um Did you have one that you liked from the ah Discord? Yeah, I like this one from one of our listeners, JPEG Large. Would public humiliation work as a quasi-rehabilitation technique for criminals a just society would refuse to put into the prison system, i.e. inmates likely to harm other inmates?

Speaker: Would public humiliation work as a quasi-rehabilitation technique? No.

Speaker: It would not. And the reason is... ah The reason is obvious. Well, what does it do? What does humiliation do to make people nice?

Speaker: makes you not it would It wouldn't work because the the the prisoner being humiliated would eventually turn into sort of the hero of the story. People would gather around to watch the humiliation and they would be more impressed the prisoner being tortured or humiliated than they would feel a sense of justice, I think.

Speaker: Yeah, they'd feel only pity. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's the problem with any punishment, right? It elicits pity. Yeah. You should you want to only give people head if they've done wrong so they won't be pitied.

Speaker: Well, the problem with punishment is that you'd never cum, whereas when you give someone pleasure or head, you know when it's supposed to be over. But the hardest part about implementing punishments is when does it end? I can cum. When the timeout end? I cum during punishment, Pierce. But there should be a cum that you do, like a reverse orgasm that you do when you experience pain. Like, ow, ow.

Speaker: so and then you squirt out like a black goo instead of white. Negative cum, the black seed. Right. And then that's how you know. The Punisher says, all right, now you've learned your lesson. You won't do that again, right? And it's like, no I'll never do it again. ow. wow you think it's possible that that black seed, that the these sort of negative cums are actually what create the conditions for a pleasurable come down the line?

Speaker: Like you need to build up sort of karmic suffering and then that gets sort of spent and released in an orgasm later on. um on I mean, that's why like if you come, there's usually a refractory period where you can't come again right away.

Speaker: because you need to build up some suffering first. You know what i bet is that all of us were conceived by black seeds. All of us were conceived by a dark orgasms, reverse orgasms. Maybe all people are born from dark seeds and reverse orgasms. And then every masturbating or consensual unproductive sex experiences are just happy seeds. Those go to heaven directly and become angels. yeah Yeah.

Speaker: That's kind of a good idea. So Matthew, you think during your refractory period, the way to be able to get hard again quicker is to sort of go to the bathroom and slap yourself or like read something sad or.

Speaker: Yeah. Read all the news that's fit to print. You'll probably be coming in no time.

Speaker: Don't say that a single thing, not in words anyway. this just blinding sense?