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#26 - Behind the Mutiny - Into the Fire and the Fear
44 Plays3 months ago
This is where the mask comes off.
No edits. No filters. Just the raw, unrelenting truth behind the Mindset Mutiny movement. In this first episode of the Behind the Mutiny series, I take you inside the weight, the fear, and the grind of keeping this thing alive.
This isn’t about hype—it’s about what it costs to keep showing up when your mind says quit.
If you’re in the dark, fighting to climb—this one’s for you.
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Transcript
Introduction to Mindset Mutiny
00:00:20
Mike Ivanov
Welcome to the Mindset Mutiny. I am your host, Mike Ivanov. Join me as we challenge the status quo, break free from self-imposed limits, and redefine what's possible.
00:00:32
Mike Ivanov
Welcome back, everybody. Hit that subscribe button or I'm going to find you. Straight up. 80% of my listeners are not subscribed. Hit that button for me.
00:00:43
Mike Ivanov
Helps me out a ton. Helps us grow this thing. So, now that we got all that bullshit out the way, If you're here listening to this, it means that you're not just dipping your toes into the mindset shift.
00:00:56
Mike Ivanov
means that you're in it. You feel the fire. I see you. But I want you to understand is that this isn't just a podcast. Of course, it looks that way.
00:01:08
Mike Ivanov
But I find that it's important to kind of explain the why. So this is a movement. It's my life. This is my transformation.
00:01:20
Mike Ivanov
And today and in the future, I want to give you full access to what's really but but you know behind Mindset Mutiny. What fuels it? What's breaking me down?
00:01:31
Mike Ivanov
What's pushing me to go harder? So want to take this opportunity to call this Inside the Mutiny. And I'm going to keep trying to do these. And what's really important is that you message me.
00:01:44
Mike Ivanov
DM me, email me, ask me questions. What are you struggling with? I'm here to help you. That's what this is about. That's what this platform is. Take advantage of it.
Community and Interaction through 'Inside the Mutiny'
00:01:55
Mike Ivanov
I'm here. I'm waiting, right? I'm ready to go. Send me the messages. Let's bring this community together, right? People see the front-facing version of mindset mutiny.
00:02:08
Mike Ivanov
They see the discipline, the no bullshit, the intensity, the heavy lifts, the runs, the fight. They see the edge. They see the heat. But what they don't see is how many times I've stood alone in the dark.
00:02:22
Mike Ivanov
No camera, no microphone, no audience. Just me. My thoughts and a choice. Do I stay in this hole or do I climb my way out again?
00:02:36
Mike Ivanov
You don't see the days where I feel like I'm failing at everything. We all have those days. That's the point. right? Because I'm struggling just as hard as you are, but I found a couple angles that I want to share that could help you in your journey.
00:02:52
Mike Ivanov
That's what this is about. People don't see the days where I'm exhausted, where the mind is foggy, where I'm wondering if I'm actually even helping anybody, or if I'm just shouting into a void, right? Trying to hold myself together.
00:03:07
Mike Ivanov
They don't see the fight it takes to just stay consistent. When your body hurts, when your mind is screaming, when the voice inside you says, what's the fucking point? That's why I started this.
00:03:19
Mike Ivanov
This podcast, it's not some curated content strategy. It's my lifeline. It's me talking to myself. It's me reminding myself of who the fuck I am.
00:03:32
Mike Ivanov
Holding myself to the fire so I don't slip back into the man I used to be.
00:03:39
Mike Ivanov
I want you to be a part of that.
Personal Struggles and Resilience
00:03:41
Mike Ivanov
I want you to see it because we're all in that same shit together.
00:03:48
Mike Ivanov
I know what it feels like to break.
00:03:53
Mike Ivanov
I know what it feels like to want to quit everything.
00:03:58
Mike Ivanov
I know what it feels like to believe that you're too far gone.
00:04:03
Mike Ivanov
And what I want you to know,
00:04:07
Mike Ivanov
if I can rise out of that,
00:04:11
Mike Ivanov
Then so can you. This whole thing.
00:04:15
Mike Ivanov
It's just me choosing not to hide anymore. Not to edit my life. Not to pretend. I press record. And I let it pour out.
00:04:27
Mike Ivanov
The chaos. The clarity. The truth. The mistakes. It's not pretty. It's not packaged. But it's fucking real. No edits. And that's all I've ever promised.
00:04:40
Mike Ivanov
So if you're here, if you're listening to this, then you're part of this mutiny. You're not alone in your struggle. You're not broken.
00:04:51
Mike Ivanov
You're just fighting your way back, trying to be better 1% every single day, just like I am.
00:05:00
Mike Ivanov
The more we keep showing up, raw, imperfect, relentless, the more we burn down the lies we've been fed. The lies that say we need to be perfect to be worthy. The lies that say we have to have it all figured out before we can take the first step.
00:05:19
Mike Ivanov
Remember this fire that we're building. It's not just for show. It's the fire that
Confronting Fears and Embracing Growth
00:05:24
Mike Ivanov
saves lives. I know because it saved mine. No edits.
00:05:30
Mike Ivanov
No polish. Just the fight. I want you to know I'm in it with you.
00:05:38
Mike Ivanov
One thing I want to make really, really clear, this podcast, this movement, this mindset, it's not just about me. It's about us.
00:05:48
Mike Ivanov
I'm not here to build an audience. I'm here to build a connection, a community, a crew of people who are done lying to themselves, who are ready to step into that hard truth, own their path, and fight for something better.
00:06:04
Mike Ivanov
So reach out to me. Like I said, send me a DM, email me, tell me what you're going through, what you're working on, what you're fighting for. Because this isn't a one-way thing.
00:06:18
Mike Ivanov
I want to know the people in the trenches with me.
00:06:23
Mike Ivanov
I want to know what you want me to talk about. You're not just a listener, you're part of this shit. You're someone who said, hey, I'm done with the bullshit. I want to rise.
00:06:35
Mike Ivanov
And that means something. That matters to me. I was there at that point. There was nobody there to me to follow. There was nobody there to give me advice.
00:06:46
Mike Ivanov
That's why I'm doing this shit. I found some angles and I'm going to share them. You don't have to have it all figured out. I never have. You don't have to be at the top of the mountain.
00:06:59
Mike Ivanov
You just have to be willing to keep climbing. That's the kind of people I want around me. That's the kind of fire I want to keep building. So if something in this episode hits you, reach out.
00:07:12
Mike Ivanov
Don't wait. Don't second guess it. Shoot me a message. Tell me what connected. Tell me what you're still struggling with. Because when we start talking, when we start connecting, that's when the real change happens.
00:07:24
Mike Ivanov
If you don't
Overcoming Public Speaking Fears
00:07:25
Mike Ivanov
message me,
00:07:27
Mike Ivanov
And I hate to do this to you.
00:07:31
Mike Ivanov
I think you're afraid.
00:07:34
Mike Ivanov
Straight up.
00:07:40
Mike Ivanov
This isn't just a podcast. It's a rebellion. A mindset mutiny. And the door is fucking open. If you're ready to rise, you're already one of us.
00:07:53
Mike Ivanov
This episode is definitely a little bit different. This is a deeper dive. Not into tactics, not into the hype, but into what's really happening behind the scenes.
00:08:03
Mike Ivanov
Because that matters. I'm just a man, right? Chasing his own evolution in real time. I'm not speaking from the top of the mountain. I'm climbing it right alongside of you.
00:08:15
Mike Ivanov
Bleeding, slipping, getting back up. The whole thing, mindset mutiny, it's not just content. It's my life's work. It's the way I hold myself accountable.
00:08:26
Mike Ivanov
It's how I process pain. It's how I fuel growth. It's how I create meaning from all the shit I've had a battle through.
00:08:35
Mike Ivanov
So right now, I'm in the middle of confronting some of the biggest fears I've ever had. I'm exhausted. I'm mentally stretched. And I've got a tidal wave challenges staring me down.
00:08:47
Mike Ivanov
On top of all my full-time job, I'm providing mentoring. I'm coaching. I'm leading others through their own mindset battles. While I'm doing that, I've got a speech coming up in front of 8,000 people. It's going to be streamed to 1.5 million people where I got to tell my story.
00:09:09
Mike Ivanov
It's fucking terrifying. Public speaking was my greatest fear.
00:09:15
Mike Ivanov
Think about that.
00:09:19
Mike Ivanov
There was a day where I said, I'm fucking done. I'm done being afraid.
00:09:25
Mike Ivanov
So I started trying to public speak. I started trying to talk to people. I started trying to participate, right? This is years ago. Get up in front of a big crowd, feel my voice all fucking in my throat.
00:09:36
Mike Ivanov
Can feel my blood pressure rising. My face is flushing. My voice is like crackling. And I just kept pushing through. I just kept putting in the reps. So that speech, it's so big to me.
00:09:49
Mike Ivanov
I'm going to stand up in front of there in front of 8,000 people and we're going to confront our fears together. I'm jacked up because I know when the bell rings, I'm going locked the fuck in because of all the work that I've done behind the scenes.
00:10:04
Mike Ivanov
right But it's still bearing down on me like a freight train. I've also got the MRF coming up, which I'm training for. couple half marathons. I've got a 20-mile trail race. That Ben Kelly challenged me to do.
00:10:17
Mike Ivanov
Which is absolutely unchartered mileage for me. And more and more jujitsu. Where I continue to get humbled and tested every time I step on the mat.
00:10:29
Mike Ivanov
There's so many other things I'm not mentioning. But it's not just one thing. It's a block of events designed by me. To break me if I'm not fully locked in.
00:10:43
Mike Ivanov
That's how I drive accountability.
Training and Accountability Tools
00:10:48
Mike Ivanov
And here's the truth.
00:10:52
Mike Ivanov
I'm growing. Fast. It's uncomfortable as fuck.
00:10:58
Mike Ivanov
And with that growth. Comes something that most people don't talk about. But I think it's why most people don't get started.
00:11:10
Mike Ivanov
It scares the absolute fucking shit out of me. That's why. I'm doing everything that scares me. I feel terrified. But I know that when I have that feeling, it's confirmation I'm in the right place.
00:11:21
Mike Ivanov
Because the more I grow, the more it demands. Bigger steps, harder choices, more risk. I keep getting pulled further and further outside of my comfort zone. And that pressure is absolutely real.
00:11:37
Mike Ivanov
Becoming the person you're meant to be, it is absolutely terrifying. But what's even worse, and I like to think about this often, it's what pushes me, and I'd like you to think about it too, is the idea of being on my deathbed and meeting the man I was supposed to become and realizing I never had the fucking balls to become him.
00:12:00
Mike Ivanov
That regret, that's the thing I fear most. So yeah, I'm scared, but I'm still walking into the fire because that version of me, the one I know I'm becoming, he's worth the fucking pain.
00:12:14
Mike Ivanov
We all feel the fear. I know that. I'm comfortable enough to talk about it. I know you feel it too because it's human.
00:12:25
Mike Ivanov
No matter how much you think you're different, we all experience these emotions. the doubt, the pressure to perform. But I'm not running from it. I'm walking straight into it with a fucking smile because this is what it's all about.
00:12:42
Mike Ivanov
It's about stepping into discomfort on purpose. It's about overriding the excuses that your mind tries to give you. It's about choosing to show up even when everything in you wants to disappear.
00:12:55
Mike Ivanov
It's not about being fearless. It's about refusing to let fear dictate your story. I'm still here. I'm still recording because this shit matters because someone out there needs to know that it's possible to be terrified and still take the next step.
00:13:13
Mike Ivanov
I'm sharing all of it with you. Not because I need a pat on the back, but because I want you to see it. I want you to see the truth. I want you to see the struggle.
Pressure, Growth, and Fear of Regret
00:13:25
Mike Ivanov
I want you to see the work.
00:13:29
Mike Ivanov
want you to see the small, gritty decisions that nobody claps for. I want you to see the shit that builds the foundation of who you're becoming. Because this isn't a highlight reel.
00:13:40
Mike Ivanov
It's a record of the real shit that builds a life worth living. The evolution of mindset mutiny is my own evolution. And if you're here right now, then you're already a part of it. Like I said, you're already changing.
00:13:55
Mike Ivanov
And I want you to know you're not alone in this.
00:14:01
Mike Ivanov
I'm here with you. We're doing it together. Use me as a fucking resource to build some crazy shit that you never thought you could do.
00:14:12
Mike Ivanov
Let me tell you something that I you know i think people don't really understand.
00:14:20
Mike Ivanov
Pushing like this, leading, mentoring, podcasting, lifting, running, fighting, growing, showing up over and over again, it's fucking heavy shit. There's days where I wake up and the first thing I feel isn't motivation.
00:14:38
Mike Ivanov
That fucking ship has sailed. Couldn't tell you the last time I felt motivated.
00:14:45
Mike Ivanov
don't even use the word anymore because I know there's just shit I gotta fucking do.
00:14:51
Mike Ivanov
But there's pressure.
00:14:55
Mike Ivanov
Which you can use to benefit yourself. Diamonds aren't formed without pressure.
00:15:04
Mike Ivanov
It's that invisible weight on my chest that's telling me you better fucking deliver today or everything you've built will start to slip.
00:15:17
Mike Ivanov
There's moments I feel like I'm losing control. Mentally, emotionally, like my bandwidth is you know absolutely maxed out and one more thing is just going to fucking crumble the house.
00:15:31
Mike Ivanov
I feel like I'm carrying a lot of weight for so many people.
00:15:35
Mike Ivanov
And I don't always know if I can hold it all together. But that's natural to feel that way. Doesn't mean it's time to back off. It means it's time to push harder. Load up more fucking weight.
00:15:48
Mike Ivanov
And yeah, sometimes I ask myself, what if I drop the ball? What if I fail publicly? What if this whole thing crashes while everybody's watching? That fear real. That doubt doesn't care how strong I look on the outside. It creeps in when I'm alone.
00:16:06
Mike Ivanov
When I'm hungry, tired, burnt out. When I'm second guessing everything I've said into the microphone. Wondering if it even matters.
00:16:16
Mike Ivanov
And I know I'm not alone on this. I know you all feel the same shit. Some of you are probably feeling it right now. Like you're barely holding it together.
00:16:28
Mike Ivanov
Like the fight to stay in it is draining your soul. And you want to quit but you can't.
00:16:35
Mike Ivanov
There's something still inside you that believes that you're not done yet.
00:16:40
Mike Ivanov
That belief, that little sliver of fight left in you, that's what mindset mutiny is built on.
Pushing Through Exhaustion and Limits
00:16:48
Mike Ivanov
It's not built on strength. It's built on refusal.
00:16:52
Mike Ivanov
On choosing to stay in the ring even when you're fucking terrified.
00:16:57
Mike Ivanov
Even when everything is screaming at you to stop. This is not about having it all figured out. This is about not giving up. And continuing to move forward.
00:17:08
Mike Ivanov
It's about dragging yourself forward when nothing in your life is going right. When nobody is clapping for you. When there's no crowd, no hype, just you bleeding for progress. I fucking live there.
00:17:22
Mike Ivanov
And if you're in that same dark corner, if you're carrying the weight and still refusing to fold, I fucking see you. And I respect the hell out of you. That's why I'm here.
00:17:34
Mike Ivanov
That's why the podcast exists because someone needs to say this fucking shit out loud. So you know you're not crazy. So you know you're not broken. You're deep in the climb and you're not alone.
00:17:51
Mike Ivanov
I'll be honest with you. I've been struggling lately.
00:17:57
Mike Ivanov
I love it because I know I'm growing, but you know still I got to talk about it. you know, a buddy of mine gave me some feedback the other day and he said, it's like, Mike, you make it look easy.
00:18:09
Mike Ivanov
You know, it's hard sometimes to see you trying to make it look so easy because I know it's not. So, you know, I want to acknowledge that, right? That's why I'm kind of sharing some of the stuff behind the mutiny, right? Where I struggle because it's not easy.
00:18:25
Mike Ivanov
And I'm sorry if I made it look that way or if I've given off that vibe that, you know, it should be easy for all of us. It's not. Growth, self-development are the hardest things I've ever done in my life.
00:18:40
Mike Ivanov
And that's why i keep doing them. Because it's like the only thing that's really worth doing.
00:18:47
Mike Ivanov
I thought it was good feedback. um you know So I'm going to do my best to to accommodate that and to and to share more about how difficult it might be. And I don't want anybody to think that I'm dismissing their struggle.
00:19:03
Mike Ivanov
We all have roadblocks. I'm here to help you remove them. But me, I've been burning the candle on both ends. I've been pushing physically, emotionally, mentally, and I've felt it hard There have been days where I was completely maxed out, completely smoked. Days where I didn't want to run, didn't want to lift, didn't want to do any of the things I know that make me better.
00:19:27
Mike Ivanov
I ended up in bed for three days.
00:19:32
Mike Ivanov
I'd been pushing since October harder than I've ever pushed before. Never taking a break. Never considering how I felt. Ignoring every single warning sign. Every single mood slip.
00:19:44
Mike Ivanov
I was doing everything I could at a level that was never sustainable. And I crashed from it. And I didn't see it. My wife had to sit me down and tell me.
00:19:55
Mike Ivanov
I was sitting there wondering why I can't get out of bed. Why I'm completely exhausted. I've got all these you know cold symptoms. But I'm not sick. I'm worn out. I was smoked.
00:20:08
Mike Ivanov
And it's nice to have somebody to sit you down and say, hey, dude, listen, just take just take a breather. All right, take a breather. So I want to tell you that because I can continue on and talk about how hard I'm pushing, but not sharing kind of that I kind of you know run out of steam too wouldn't be fair.
Power of Vulnerability and Connection
00:20:26
Mike Ivanov
So because of the feedback I got from my friend, I got to tell you, hey, listen, I pushed so fucking hard, I put myself in bed for three days.
00:20:35
Mike Ivanov
I learned from that. I learned that what I was doing wasn't sustainable. I had to go back to the data. I had to figure out where I went wrong. What do I have to adjust? Do I need to sleep more? Do I need to eat more?
00:20:47
Mike Ivanov
Do I need to meditate more? Do I need to take more time to myself? Do I need to spend more time with my spouse?
00:20:55
Mike Ivanov
The answers are all yes.
00:20:59
Mike Ivanov
Now, here's the important part. I have to do all those things. So that means I have to sacrifice other things, which means maybe I don't get to sit on the couch and watch TV, right?
00:21:15
Mike Ivanov
Maybe I don't get to do the things that bring me comfort. Now I got to really go through my routine with a real scalpel and I got to start like really paying attention to the minutes of the day that I have, um you know, so that I can accommodate all those things.
00:21:29
Mike Ivanov
But it was important for me to share that it's not easy. In fact, it's exhausting every single day. and And sometimes you want to pull back and it's natural.
00:21:43
Mike Ivanov
You know, I wanted to disengage. I wanted to disconnect. I wanted to disappear. But I didn't.
00:21:52
Mike Ivanov
I rallied. I got the rest and come back twice as strong.
00:21:59
Mike Ivanov
And it's not this beautiful Instagram reel, right? Growth is dark, but it matters. It matters most.
00:22:12
Mike Ivanov
So when your mind's whispering to quit, you got to still decide to keep showing up.
00:22:22
Mike Ivanov
I'm not here to pretend that everything's perfect. I'm not some flawless machine that never struggles. I think I made that clear.
00:22:32
Mike Ivanov
The whole point is just break free from the lies.
00:22:38
Mike Ivanov
The ones that tell you you got to have it all together to grow. The ones that say you need to wait until you feel better before you move forward. Nah. Bullshit.
00:22:48
Mike Ivanov
Growth happens when you move forward in spite of the storm. When you choose discipline, when your feelings betray you. When you stop asking for motivation and start demanding more from yourself.
00:23:01
Mike Ivanov
Because no one is coming to save you. And I can't fucking do it for you. Hear me loud and clear. This doesn't mean you have to be cold.
00:23:11
Mike Ivanov
It doesn't mean you lose your soul in the process. I understand you're not a robot. You're a human. A warrior with scars, emotions, and limits.
00:23:22
Mike Ivanov
But someone who refuses to stay in the mud.
00:23:29
Mike Ivanov
I mentioned scars, emotions, limits, right?
00:23:35
Mike Ivanov
was having a conversation with someone the other day and they were telling me that they have a hard time opening up to people and they have a hard time building that connection.
00:23:44
Mike Ivanov
I have always shared my scars. I've always shared my emotions and I've always talked about my limits.
00:23:53
Mike Ivanov
That's how you build connection with others. Not talking about the weather or what you fucking had for dinner. Okay. You want to build a connection with somebody. It's your responsibility to share your scars, share where you've gone wrong, share your emotions, share what you're feeling because we're all feeling similar things. And if we can relate to somebody else that has the same feelings, not only can we solve them and understand them, we can build a stronger bond with that person that we're sharing with.
00:24:21
Mike Ivanov
And then sharing limits.
00:24:24
Mike Ivanov
You need to understand that you don't have limits. So when you share them and you have the right people around you, they tell you that you're limiting yourself. That's the trick. But to build a connection, to lead others, you have to share your scars. You have to share your emotions. You have to be human.
00:24:41
Mike Ivanov
You have to develop that environment of psychological safety where people feel comfortable sharing their feelings with you.
00:24:49
Mike Ivanov
It's very important. It's a lot of what I do in my coaching. I share my scars. I share where I've gone wrong. We tap into others' emotions because emotions hold us back.
00:25:01
Mike Ivanov
But they also tell us where we need to go, tell us what we need to deal with. And anybody that I work with, I don't allow limits.
00:25:14
Mike Ivanov
That's where the connection starts. So remember, I'm right here with you.
Choosing Growth over Fear
00:25:20
Mike Ivanov
I'm bleeding, I'm stumbling, I'm grinding my way forward. Not for perfection, but for progress, for power, for peace of mind.
00:25:29
Mike Ivanov
So wherever you are right now, mentally, emotionally, physically, just know this.
00:25:39
Mike Ivanov
You don't need perfect conditions. You don't need to feel 100%. You just need to choose not quit. need to choose not That's the real mutiny. That's the rise.
00:25:50
Mike Ivanov
And starts now. Because at the end of the day, you've got two choices. Lie to yourself or lead yourself.
00:26:03
Mike Ivanov
And around here, I think you know that we don't run from the darkness. We turn and face it. And we burn that motherfucker down.