Transcript
Speaker: What's up everybody? um Mike Ivanov. That was a great introduction. Thank you so much. Hey guys. Good to see you, man. Good to see you.
Speaker: All right, so what I want to tell you first and foremost before I get started is that public speaking is my greatest fear. Absolutely, hands down, biggest fear. So today we are going to walk into our fears together.
Speaker: All right, so without too much more delay, I'm going to get started. So is everybody ready? Okay, awesome. All right. Five years ago, I almost wasn't here to tell you this story.
Speaker: I was on a beautiful trip with my wife celebrating our anniversary. I should have been happy. I should have been soaking in the moment, taking in the view, cherishing our time together.
Speaker: But inside, I was barely hanging on. My mind was in full collapse. Panic attacks, crippling anxiety, feelings of absolute doom.
Speaker: And I'd been fighting it alone, in silence, pretending I was fine for far too long.
Speaker: That night, something in me snapped. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I woke up, I sat up in bed, and I just broke. I started crying uncontrollably, my entire body shaking. I couldn't breathe.
Speaker: I couldn't speak. All I could do was cry. My wife jumped up, absolutely terrified. She just kept asking me what was wrong. And for the first time, I decided I had to tell her the truth.
Speaker: It's a tough one. So, I looked at her, still barely able to breathe, still crying, and I told her, I've been planning to take my life.
Speaker: That's right. i love you, but I can't keep suffering like this. This is what needs to happen. As calm as ever, she looked at me, took my hand and told me, no, we're gonna get through this together.
Speaker: And that one moment, That one choice to open up instead of closing off saved my life.
Speaker: So looking back, I can see how I ended up in that place. It didn't happen all once. It was years of ignoring the real battles inside my own head. Years of keeping my struggles locked up because I thought that's what I was supposed to do.
Speaker: Be a man. Tough it out. Don't complain. But here's what I wish somebody had told me sooner.
Speaker: Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. It makes it worse. It started small, a racing heart, a feeling of being off.
Speaker: Then I couldn't sit still, I couldn't focus. I'd feel lightheaded, my hands would go numb, my chest would tighten, and my breathing would speed up. It felt like my entire body was under attack.
Speaker: Then came the panic attacks. I can remember standing in a parking lot, blurry vision, dizzy, convinced I was dying. I'd Google the nearest hospital and drive myself there, fully believing that I wasn't gonna make it.
Speaker: So the doctors, they ran tests. Every time they told me, you're fine. Your heart's fine. Your body is fine. But nothing felt fine.
Speaker: ah It got so bad some days that I couldn't even get off the floor of my apartment. My brain wouldn't stop screaming, my body felt like it was shutting down, and at some point I started believing the only way to end this pain was to end everything.
Speaker: And if you've ever felt a fraction of that, I want you to hear me. You are not broken. But you have to stop suffering in silence.
Speaker: So after that long night on that trip, I got help. I started therapy. And one day my therapist asked me the weirdest question. She said, did you ever ride a bike?
Speaker: I kind of laughed and looked at her, you know, like I'm here to fix my mind and we're talking about bicycles. I didn't really understand where she was going. But then she pushed me. She asked me, did you ever love it? And suddenly I remembered as a kid, biking was my thing.
Speaker: The speed, the freedom, the flying down a hill with the wind in my face. I loved it. But somewhere along the way I stopped. So she told me, go home, get on your bike, ride.
Speaker: At that point, I was desperate. I would have done anything to feel better. Okay? So I got home, I dusted off my old bike, aired up my tires, and forced myself to ride. At first, absolutely hated it.
Speaker: My brain was still racing, my body was still screaming, but then something happened. Something switched. My mind went quiet. I wasn't panicking for the first time. I wasn't spiraling. I was just pedaling, just moving forward and for 45 minutes I felt free.
Speaker: That was my moment. That was my proof that I could fight back. And from that day on I made a promise to myself. I was going to keep moving no matter what.
Speaker: That first ride didn't cure me, but it gave me something to fight for, so I kept riding every day. I started building bikes. I threw myself into the process, and every time I got on that bike, I took back a piece of myself.
Speaker: Little by little, I climbed out of that hole. I started running. I started lifting. I started challenging myself. I stopped weight of motivation and started doing the work.
Speaker: Because here's the truth. You don't need motivation. You need movement. That's what saved me. Not waiting, not hoping, just taking action.
Speaker: Some of you in this room might be struggling. Okay, some of you might be dealing with stress, anxiety, self-doubt. Maybe you feel like you're not enough.
Speaker: Maybe you feel alone. Maybe you feel like you're drowning. If that's you, I want you to hear me. You are not broken.
Speaker: You are not alone. And this is not the end of your story.
Speaker: But you have to take the first step. You have to find that thing that gets you out of your head. Maybe it's a bike. Maybe it's music. Maybe it's writing, lifting, running, talking to someone.
Speaker: Whatever it is, do it. And do it relentlessly. But I also want to speak to some of you in this room who aren't struggling.
Speaker: Maybe you're sitting here thinking about a friend, a partner, a sibling who's fighting this battle. Maybe you will be the person who saves them. If that's you, I have one piece of advice.
Speaker: Don't back away. Show up. Listen. Remind them that they are worth fighting for. Because sometimes all it takes is one person refusing to give up on you that keeps you in the fight.
Speaker: I was in the darkest place of my life and I made a choice to fight, to move, to take back my life.
Speaker: So now I'm standing here in front of all of you to tell you that you have that same choice. Okay? And if you're ever struggling with mental health or know someone struggling with mental health, remember this speech.
Speaker: I want you to remember this moment. I want you to remember this voice. Keep moving. Take action and never quit.
Speaker: Because the only way you lose is if you stop trying. Love you guys. Thank you.
