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MOTW Episode 2-4: Luke Has One Helluva Day
161 Plays4 years ago
The Gang from Sierra Corp battle their new hook-handed nemesis at the police station, but he's withholding a pretty powerful secret. Khepri prevents literal friendly fire, Oscar fights a coat rack, Sally spreads chaos and disease, Luke earns his name in the title of this episode.
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Transcript
Welcome and Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
🎵
00:00:34
Speaker
Good morning, everybody. Welcome to
Morning Banter and Humor
00:00:37
Speaker
Monster of the Week. This is where we, uh, Monster and we week. Yeah. We're on the same page. It's definitely a morning right now. It is. Not for me. If you're not watching us in the morning, get the fuck out of here. Uh, David, make sure you can talk to you now. Everybody's talking over me. So go ahead and talk to you. Huh?
00:01:04
Speaker
That's right. David's the only one who's professional on time and very, very appropriate in this podcast. Everyone else, talking over my introduction, David was here- Haha. ... abruptly two hours after we were supposed to start. Just doesn't pay attention. No, I slept till four. Okay, kids. I slept till four. And we started to- And then he hurt himself. And I hurt myself in the shower, so- David was here like doing stuff in the shower he shouldn't be doing.
00:01:28
Speaker
If you're staying at play watching fucking vtubers like me Just do it already. Just get out of the way and kill yourself Yeah, you really don't have any hope and it just gets worse from here on out The real monster of the week is depression insomnia and poor posture. It doesn't get better kids and definitely vtubers Okay
00:01:54
Speaker
So let's do a recap buddy. What's going on? A lot has happened. Um, so in the last episode, you guys went to a road where apparently a pep left his cryptic message in dead bodies for frond pepper. Yeah. He wanted you to go meet him there. Uh, and he did, and he fought the hook man who had a clown face and you fought a clown man who had a clown face, uh, but no hook hand and killed the clown. He captured the hook man, took his hook off his hand.
00:02:22
Speaker
Kep Kepri a pep had a little chat with you.
Recap of Previous Episode
00:02:25
Speaker
He really didn't get much out of it He just kind of was depressed that you didn't want to talk to him Then you went back I totally walked his ass. Yeah, you verbally told him Make him feel real bad about himself. Yeah Then he took the the hook man back to the precinct at the little village you're in and you put him in a cell with some magical handcuffs that Luke was lucky enough to have and
00:02:48
Speaker
Yeah, I ripped off his hook. Yeah, fuck that. He's not the hook man anymore. He's just a man. He's a teleportation man is what he is now. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, Luke one got his hand fixed up, but then, uh, some sort of, uh,
00:03:06
Speaker
Another freaky figure appeared as Danny and tried to smother him. Oh my God, that was so funny. Luke got away and the man manifested himself as the guy from the chippies. And he followed Luke a little bit and then Luke almost got to the police station and there was a car coming after him. It was Luke's rental car coming at him. Whoa. Yeah. So he
Mystery of the Glowing Old Lady
00:03:30
Speaker
got through an alley.
00:03:33
Speaker
And that's when my groceries got delivered. Yeah. Yeah, boy Thank goodness for groceries. So I'm gonna start out with you guys back in the oh Yeah, there's no lady that came in trying to look for the hook man and kept me every gank the fuck out of her Okay. Yeah, right. Anyway She was freaking me out You guys are all in the main room with the dead grandma
00:04:02
Speaker
Uh, kept his feet and, uh, I'm still in the back. Oh, he's done. Oscar's still in the back, hanging out with the hook man. He's, he's going to get some, uh, dastardly revenge on him. Uh, yeah, he is. So yeah, that's happening. And the guy, one of the, one of the cops just told you that you're in the fingerprint analysis came back on the man's fingerprint. So is anybody else reacting to the fact that there's like a dead, like weird old lady? They're probably, they're probably like poking at her.
00:04:31
Speaker
And no one's asking me anything, they're just going and poking her butt. It's Sierra business. If Luke were here, he would show you the credentials, but we've already done that, so you know. You're sure this old lady's poking her back? You're sure she feels pretty normal to me? You say she's one of these spirit things that's been coming around?
00:04:57
Speaker
She's a bad old lady. Well, I'm going to stop touching her. You've got old lady on your hands. She's going to be with you forever. She goes to the handstand at housing stations. That doesn't work. Don't you listen to the news.
00:05:20
Speaker
You have to sing the alphabet forward and backwards or something. And watch VTubers. That's right, watch VTubers. Is that the American or the British alphabet? The American ones easier. That different ones?
00:05:38
Speaker
I mean, the British say Zed instead of Z. Oh, one has under God in it, I think. A, B, C, M, Y, Z. Under God. Under God. That sounds like us. Yeah. All right. Next time, won't you pray with me? Keep God in schools, everybody. Keep God in buckets. Sally, Sally, can you see the...?
00:06:08
Speaker
Sally, can you see the phantom of the woman? I don't know, can I see a dead lady keeper? No, she still has that weird glow on her that you saw before. Is the meth head still here? What meth head? The one that she talked to on the bench. The one that I was hanging out with on the bench? Was he a dead guy or was he...
00:06:33
Speaker
He was a dead method. He was a phantom. He's like sleeping on the bench, I guess. Great. Mr. Capri, you're dumb. The old lady's spirit is gone, but she's still glowing. Do you happen to know what kind of magic this is now that you can get your hands on it? I'm not touching that bitch.
00:07:02
Speaker
Okay. Yes, I wouldn't advise it. Well, can somebody at least tie her up while we go and look at the fingerprints?
Zombies and Necromancer Speculation
00:07:09
Speaker
Henley, tie her up. All right. We can't trust her not to come back. I don't know what she is or what sort of sorcery this is. Never mind. I don't know what I would do. Carry on. Oscar. I mean, does she smell? Oscar's in the back. Don't talk to Oscar.
00:07:31
Speaker
Oh, he's in the far, like way back. Cause this is a little, little building. They stayed back in the, well, they're separated by like, you know, some doors and shit. All right. Well, I'm going to go talk to Oscar. Okay. Oscar, they went away. What are you doing in the hook with the hook with the hookless handed man? Um, wasn't really the last time like at a table, like studying if they're like any connections with talk man.
00:07:53
Speaker
Yeah, you guys were a table yeah, you're looking at the table right now Okay, so you're in of you're still in the main areas where you're off a little bit So yeah, never mind. You saw all that happened. You're just looking at a boy looking at this table Anything particular or you're standing there I'll figure I'll just go over to both of them and ask what's what's been happening. Oh To us, yeah
00:08:20
Speaker
Why the fuck is there a dead woman on the floor? Well, Oscar, she is fiendish in nature, and I suspect it as such, and I slew her. Okay. Fair enough. Want to go and look at the fingerprints now? I guess. Sally, would you like to come? I'm going to guess...
00:08:52
Speaker
Where's Mr. Luke? Where's Mr. Luke? I don't know. Didn't he go get his hand fixed or something? Yeah, I think so. He's fine. Yeah, he's probably fine. You know, I'm sure he'll give us some sort of signal and I'll teleport to him if I need to, but I mean, he seems like a capable guy. Yeah. He's just sleeping right now. He's fine.
00:09:16
Speaker
Yes. We'll have to go visit him at the hospital soon to see how he's doing. I'm stuck with you. But that dog is also here, the nice fluffy man dog person. Oh, Mr. Puppy. Okay. I walk over towards where the fingerprint analysis was. All right. What have you got? All right. Henry walks back over because he was kind of the old lady.
00:09:42
Speaker
Right low right here. And the screen has a little readout and it shows a guy, um, who it shows a fella who used to, who's from the 19, from the 1950s is when he died.
Luke's Rental Car Incident
00:09:59
Speaker
Oh, he died in the 1950s. How old was he? Uh, you know, probably like 45.
00:10:09
Speaker
So he died, he died at 45 in the 1950s. Wow. That's interesting. So this is a re-animated person. Yeah. That's some necromancy. I don't know. Necromancy. Oh, that sickens me. Maybe. I don't know. I don't really understand any of this stuff. I don't even know why. This is the most I've ever talked my whole life, you guys. This is just really weirding me out. I don't know. I don't know.
00:10:36
Speaker
There's someone controlling the spirits. So there's probably someone controlling the zombies and it's probably the same someone. Um, are you guys all at the computer? Uh, I mean, I am, I don't know. Yeah, I guess. Okay. Yee. I'm not saying, Henley, why don't you put that old lady right on the bench?
00:11:07
Speaker
She's not there anymore. Did you just say she's not there anymore? She's not there anymore. Oh, she's not there anymore. You didn't handcuff her well enough. The handcuffs, it's not undone, but she slipped a little finger through her or something. I don't know. She's gone. Gosh, she's quick or something. Now we have more cops running around.
00:11:36
Speaker
I run to the cage where the assailant was. The jail cell. Is he still in there? He's sitting up now.
Zombie's Confession and Cooperation
00:11:49
Speaker
He's awake. He looks at you and he lifts his hands up and he has two hands now. He's like the Joker did in Batman.
00:12:02
Speaker
Oscar, I think we need to have a conversation with this fool. Yeah. I'll go like to the bus and ask him, who the fuck are you and what are you doing here? Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you? Ask me who the fuck I am. I'm a wolf man and what are you? I am a, I was a hoot man until then, son of a bitch ripped my hand off. Now I'm just a man.
00:12:28
Speaker
Now you're not a hookman anymore. Yeah, that's right. Bullshit. It's my whole identity. Go on. Who am I? What am I now? A guy with handcuffs on. God. Yeah. And shouldn't you be there? What? Shouldn't you be not so hairy? No, because I... Oh, bitch. He's a puppy. Yeah. He's supposed to be blocky. Do you know those naked cats? They're gross.
00:12:57
Speaker
I'm with you there, buddy. Oh, don't say that. I want to get one. Gross. You think you should interrogate a Moscow or it seems like your field of work. Yeah. I'm so scared. Do you guys see my grandma? I think we might.
00:13:22
Speaker
Bitch, we killed your grandma. Oh good, I hated that bitch. Oh, same, dude. But then she kind of stood up again and ran away. Oh, she stood up like you saw her stand up and leave, did you? Got her all figured out, huh? Hmm, zombies. Oh yeah, that's what I was thinking. Makes sense to me. And we also think that you're a zombie. I'm a zombie? Yeah.
00:13:50
Speaker
Oh, that's my new identity? Can you tell me what year it is? And he looks off into the shadows, and he looks back, and his face is just all dead and shit. He's like... And he's an absolute zombie now. He stands up. He seems pretty dead to me. Yeah, I would call that a zombie. Claps up to the bars with his whole body, but he's reaching out. Although he's got both his arms out the hole, because he's going to eat our handcuff together.
00:14:19
Speaker
That's unfortunate, now he can't talk anymore. Do you want me to set him on fire? No, wait, wait. Can you- Dark Master, can you set him on fire? Can you like talk with him from Teleperfi? Oh. Oh yeah, I could do that. Yeah, that's right.
00:14:41
Speaker
Um, so I'm going to do that. Does, does, can I, is his brain mush? Can I hear any thoughts in his brain? Uh, you hear. Oh boy. I like this guy. Uh, you should tell us everything you know.
00:15:12
Speaker
to tell the puppy everything. Well, it all started when my dog died. It was so sad. It was so sad. I don't have to roll for this. I don't believe it. I'm just telling you what happened. It's okay. Yeah, take your time. Do what you gotta do. Listen up, puppy. He's talking.
00:15:41
Speaker
But yeah, go ahead and roll anyway. Was he thinking that to Sally or was he saying it out loud? He's talking out loud now. He still is. He still is. And then I went to Dr. Phil. This plus charm. Yeah, I've heard of him. We got like 30 bucks a piece. We're good, Oscar. We're good. Yeah.
00:16:03
Speaker
What are you into? Listen, here's the thing. Here's the thing, you guys. There's a necromancer, and he's making me come back to life. I don't want to do it, but Joe, my God. Joe? Joe, my God? Who is Joe? Here's the thing. I don't have any thoughts. Yeah, I've learned. This is really hard for me.
00:16:31
Speaker
Cause there's a guy, there's a guy that made, nope, I'm just a zombie. Don't mind me everybody. My grandma came by and I'm, you, you told me to tell you everything I know. I know I'm not real. Oscar, can you, can you convince him to join our cause? You said we spoke earlier. Are you in here? Yeah, I'm right by the cage.
00:17:03
Speaker
How about you try to help us beat that necromancer if you hate him so much?
Oscar's Level Up and Negotiation
00:17:14
Speaker
We should also say that Oscar leveled up. We all leveled up, I think, once last mission. Oscar got a new negotiating skill for supernatural creatures. Which could potentially make him more ILI. Unfortunately, that's on the advanced thing, so I think you have to have an advanced skill to do that. Still, he can get some more information out of him. It looks like he's stuttering. You can tweak him a bit if you want to. Why would that be advanced?
00:17:44
Speaker
You want to be it's advanced like if you get so many levels you could put a new a new thing into it and buff it up All right. Yeah, I think once you get so I roll I'm gonna play someone is charm But I think for you wasn't it for wasn't it weird or something because your skill I don't have that skill. Oh the the the What was the new one that you just got?
00:18:08
Speaker
Not negotiate somebody on I guess normally you can't manipulate a monster, but he's able to manipulate someone on a monster. Oh Okay. Okay. Gotcha What time is he making use that even on like a non speaking like kind of thing? Sweet. Let's see it. Let's see it happen. See what you do. So that would be pleasure. All right They'll do it but only if you do something for them right now to show them that you mean it
00:18:39
Speaker
Okay. I'll do it. Well, if you do something right now to show me that you, you mean that smooth, smooth. What do you want me to do? Um, what do I want you to do? Uh, take these handcuffs off me, man. All right. I'll take that. What was the officer's name again?
00:19:07
Speaker
There's a 10 main record, but Luke's the one that had the keys. These are Luke's keys, or cuffs. Oh, and Luke's not here.
00:19:13
Speaker
What? He pulls his hand back and turns it up to the thing. You guys are playing me, man! You guys got the keys to try. Tricking me is bullshit! Calm down, bitch. I'm going through an existential crisis right now, little girl. I don't know who- What if I just cut off your head so the cops fall off? In his head, I'm just gonna say, calm down, because I rolled so well. Jeffrey, can't you teleport to a loop and get the keys?
00:19:38
Speaker
Ah yes, I suppose I could. That would require a little less violence, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would be quite fascinating. Turns out Luke was like two feet on the other side of the door. I was kind of interested in that one. I do not know that.
00:19:48
Speaker
I was going to be interested in you cutting my arms off, but you know, that's cool too. Yeah. Get the key from your fellow teleport to him, I guess. Well, if Luke can be a little abrasive, so if he doesn't give me the keys, I'll just come and cut off your head. Cool. No big deal. All right. You're undead anyway. You're not going to miss them. I can have two hooks then. I can back to my own self. Yes. Yes, of course. Are those not your, your hands? Did you get them from someone else? Um, I don't know. I just woke up with these. My finger, my finger does a pain in his head, you guys.
00:20:19
Speaker
Oh. Why are they all yellow? I did that to Mr. Luke once when he was asleep. You're funny, kid. Yeah. All right. I suppose I'll go and I'll be right back. Yeah. Goodbye. See you. Mr. Puppy, can you paint your nails? I mean, I could. Oh, cool. You go, you go.
00:20:48
Speaker
Your little teleportation and you're outside in an alleyway. Luke suddenly kept reappears beside you. And you're on edge. How do you react? Why are you naked? I'm not naked. I'm wearing my clothes actually. I just had my hand worked on. Jesus. Well, I'm behind you. All right, so now you dodge the car. You duck down in the alleyway, but it's like you hear it out on the streets.
00:21:17
Speaker
Alright, I'm looking out for a fire escape. Yeah, there's a little one on the side of the police station. Oh, really? We're on the side of the police station? Yeah, might as well be. Okay, well, I'm gonna climb the fire escape if I can. It's a two-story building, so this doesn't... Wait, what is going on here, Lucas? Look, there's a car coming. Get up here, man. What the hell? Is anybody in there? Yeah, the headlights shoot down the alleyway.
00:21:46
Speaker
Does Luke get to the top of the fire escape? He climbs on no sweat. Well, actually, yeah, man, you got your hand. You're fine with your hand being fucked up. Yeah, you got there. That's what I thought. All right, I teleported up there. What the fuck? Yeah. Okay. Is someone trying to run you over, Lucas? What the hell? Yes, obviously. Where's your gear? We need the key. Well, you know what? We should solve this problem. Who's in your car? I don't know. Why don't you teleport in there and find out?
00:22:15
Speaker
Yeah, actually I could because I've been in there Yeah, you could also go get the keys from the because I got all my shit back at the fucking clinic So Danny tried to smother me. I don't think it was actually Danny but now the chippies guys trying to run me over something like that I Don't think it's actually him I don't know
00:22:39
Speaker
I'm confused, all right? Look. Do you want me to go get your gear, or do you want me to stop the car? Well, I'm already up here, so the car's probably safe from that. From the street, you hear someone going, oh, who's the prick who parked his car on the road? And then your car's like, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you hear, psh, psh. And you go, oh, fuck me car. Oh, fuck. The car's going to be smashed from people. You should probably go in there and take care of that first. All right, I teleport into the car. All right, you sit in the car, you hear, if you leave me now.
00:23:08
Speaker
You take away the greatest part of me. I punched the radio. I climb up into the front seat and just see if holding on the brake stops it and put it in put it put on the e-brake and put it in park. It's just sitting still. So I wrote on the window. You'll have to look. There's no one in here Lucas.
00:23:38
Speaker
uh okay uh well you might want to get out of that car because people are going to think that you did it hey you ball so bitch you wrecked my call what day oh come here oh he grabs he grabs you by your suit kepri he's reaching to the window he's grabbing you i teleport to the hospital he goes for a headbutt he has butts to fucking hit top of these what the fuck because you don't think these people love going for headbutts
00:24:06
Speaker
Europeans, man. Am I right, Oscar? Headbutts? Street fights? Never really had a fight. Okay. Okay. So Kepper, you're at the hospital. Yeah. Where'd you go in the hospital? I guess the only place I'd go that I would know pretty well is either the front desk or what's his name's room, Danny's room. Yeah, that's fine. You can go there. I feel like it'd probably be more, unless you want to see what was going on with Danny, you can tell we're in his room.
00:24:38
Speaker
Oh yeah, Luke did say something about Danny, didn't he? Yeah, he said Danny's mother, but he wasn't sure if it was Danny. Actually, I would go to the front desk just because I don't know where Luke's room was to get his stuff. OK, so you get in there. You see at the seat behind the desk, the doctor's just asleep. I nudge him with my shiny shoes. Nothing happens. Hey. Hello? Hey. Hello. Where's Lucas's things?
00:25:07
Speaker
Did you know that he left without his gear and somebody chased him out of here? No, I did. What happened? Where's his things? Can you say Luke? Yes. Chimichanga Smith. Oh, Chimichanga. No, that guy. He's in room three. Sorry, I don't know. Which way? Point me to room three. You smell fish and chips? Shut up. Where's room three? Right across from room two.
00:25:37
Speaker
All right. Are you from America? It's on the right side. Can't talk right now. Bye. And I run down to room three and I kicked the door over my foot. As opposed to kicking it with my fist. I'm kick puncher. You're in the room.
00:25:58
Speaker
Do I see a bag? Anything that has Lucas's things in it? Yeah, there's like a little pile of like, you know, like some fresh pants and stuff. He was going to be able to change or he, well, I said, yeah, there's some clothes and shit and like, you know, his little, his little gun that he probably have a, give us, give us like a sidearm, Luke, or just give it a shotgun. Um, I had,
00:26:17
Speaker
I watched my guns in the car because I'm not a maniac. His little, his little, his flak jackets laying there, his little, you know, his pants, his boots or shoes or everywhere. I mean I teleported here for some reason thinking that he had, that he had a gun, I was like he brought a gun in a hospital. His car keys and he might have lucked out. The keys are there with my stuff.
00:26:38
Speaker
All right, I grabbed the whatever sets of keys has both, you know, for the, for the cuffs in the car. Uh, the keys weren't in the car, right? Like just to be sort of like, no one's like ghosted the keys in there. Okay. Um, I looked behind the door real quick as I opened it to make sure they ain't nobody about to jump my ass. Nope. Just a cut wreck.
00:26:55
Speaker
This could wreck and knock it over. Um, I've seen too many, I've seen too much weird shit today. I don't have to think coming to life just trying to eat me. Uh, I run and grab Luke stuff. Uh, like whatever I can, you know, grabbing my, my massive arms. Okay. You grab it. I teleport back to look cool.
00:27:18
Speaker
Back up on top of the roof. I guess if that's where he was I tried to do this I don't know what he was doing over the next 60 seconds seconds, but holy shit. Oh Okay, got my shit Yes, I didn't find any of your weapons, but I found everything else. Oh, yeah, they should be in a car Why don't you teleport down there and grab for me? Thanks? Are they are they they're in the back in the back seat they're very back of the car I
00:27:44
Speaker
The trunk can we get this I take the keys from I take the keys from Jeffrey here uses key that unlocks the fucking lock on the gun the shotgun and the grenade launcher and all that shit Just give me this you mean fuck that you don't need it. Just get me down. Can you get me down office thing? The police station or something. Yeah, sure. I can do that But I have to roll to do that. Oh, really? Oh
00:28:07
Speaker
Okay, well I don't want to do that. I'll just find another fucking player escape. Alright, yeah, let's just go back down the way we came and just I'll take the lead in case the car decides to... Right, yeah, that way if it comes back to life you can just teleport out of the way. That's good. Yes. I mean, no. No, I would never do that Lucas. I would take you with me.
00:28:29
Speaker
What? No, I'm not. I'm saying, yeah, you go first and then if it aggros on you, you teleport out, you know? Oh, yes, aggros. I know that word. Yes. All right. Let's... wanna beat feet into the police station or to your car? Let's go into the police station, right? Like... You wanna be out in the streets right now? Yeah, let's move it. Okay. And I hustle towards the door. I'm hustling. I'm gonna climb down a fire escape. Hustle down a fire escape, hustle down that street to the door. Okay, you guys get there. Okay, all right. The car hasn't done anything.
00:28:59
Speaker
Alright, I checked the police station for booby traps. Do a booby track. Booby track, check, check. Roll. With sharp. How do I... sharp? Okay. What area are you taking like the... just like around the front door before you go in? Yeah. Yeah. Seven. That looks okay to you. Seven.
00:29:17
Speaker
All right. I'm going to touch the door, but pull my hand off real quick. There's no, uh, there's no, um, alone in style, overheated, uh, door knob. Lucas, what are you doing? Just come on, get in here. And I opened the door. Are you guys getting inside? Everybody's in there. We're all back together. I see anyone who looks remotely like Macaulay Culkin current day Macaulay Culkin. So disgusting.
00:29:43
Speaker
Kind of like me didn't he go through a recovery stages and he's any better now. He's not gross anymore I mean he did gross again. No, he's he does not look good. I mean like you do that many drugs, you know Okay. All right. No, this is you look like Sally if you do this isn't the This isn't the McCulloch Hulk in the podcast So, yeah, you guys are all in there You you Oscar you and Sally were both you guys were in the cell whenever kept we left and
00:30:12
Speaker
Try to talk to the guy. And then, Mr. Puppy, when the Dark Master contacts you, you get this warm feeling in your chest. Do you have a heart, Mr. Puppy? Because that's where you feel it. I do have a heart, but does he also have pizza? Does he also have pizza? I mean, I guess he could have pizza. He's the Dark Master. He has everything.
00:30:42
Speaker
Sounds like a nice person. Yeah. Yeah. He likes, he likes to learn about new people and the things that they're into. And he's got this really pretty yellow spot, like right, right on his tail. Oh, hey, guys. Hey, it's me, Luke. I'm back. Hello. Welcome to the Luke podcast. Mr. Luke, where are your shoes?
00:31:08
Speaker
What? I look down and see that I'm not wearing shoes. Uh, probably at the hot- Capri, did you grab my shoes? You grabbed all your shit. I think they must be in the bag somewhere. Alright, well I go in the bag, grab my shoes, and put them on. Right? Do you know how to tie your laces? Um, I don't respond to that and I tie my laces. Okay, hey guys, someone just tried to run me the fuck over with my rental car and uh,
00:31:40
Speaker
You know, uh, smashed into some other people's cars and we got a, Sierra's gonna have to pay for that. Uh, guys, guys, guys, that's, that's the guy that, that's the guy that made me. He's doing it. Hey, you gonna let me out now? Come on. Oh yeah. Right. They're letting you out now. Why? These guys are great. They're going to show you. Wait, hold on. Wait, what? They're going to give me pizza and a dark master or something. Um, so we can kill my master. What are you going to help? Cause I'm like a zombie or something. I don't really know. Yeah. They, they, they convinced me.
00:32:11
Speaker
yeah great each other out of the cuffs no man he's like magic of chief you've you've you've fucked me right in the ass on this one oh yeah yeah he's my cuffs I mean they're gonna let me out of the cuffs the way mister do you want to see what his real face looks like and I'm just gonna I'm just gonna put the image of the zombies face in Luke's brain he's opening the cuffs are you letting me let him out Luke okay
00:32:40
Speaker
I'm letting him out, yeah. Yeah, cool. He's still in the cell because you guys didn't talk to the cops about getting out of the cell. So wait. All right, Sally can just project images into people's heads now. I can read their thoughts and put words in their minds. Why don't you try to read Lucas's mind right now? Okay. What happens? I don't have to roll for it. I can just read thoughts.
00:33:06
Speaker
Yeah, it's just like this girl is so annoying. I fucking don't want her on this fucking team. She's a drain. She is so and so fed up with her. Can I can I hex? Yeah. Great. I'm gonna do that. Sally, why are you staring at Lucas like that? Oscar. We should probably back away. Use magic.
00:33:35
Speaker
Slowly go back. So I cast Use Magic, so I get the normal effect plus an extra from the hex. You got a nine, so also you get a glitch as well. Great, so I... You do your effects, I'm gonna look at glitches. I want him to burst, like I want him to start getting hives and pustules that start to burst.
00:34:04
Speaker
So one arm, and then I want to give him a disease. Can you want to contract a disease? Yeah, that's part of the hacks. I can make him contract a disease. Sorry, there might be some clicking at him. I want to look up random disease generator. And then you can pick the glitch.
00:34:28
Speaker
You didn't just give him polio. You gave us all polio. Y'all have to have an iron lung for the rest of our lives. Great job, Sally. Fuck. Sally breaks the podcast. These are D&D-related diseases. We'll see if we can scale it or something.
00:34:49
Speaker
Oh, instead of pustules, he's going to break out in scales. Oh, God. That's fine. Never mind. I'm not going to do that. There's a description there. He sees name generator. Does he have chicken pox? Can I give Luke coronavirus? It's like a podcast. Just pick one. As soon as you do that, Hex, though, you hear in Lucas's mind, you hear,
00:35:15
Speaker
You know, but she came from a bad home, she can't really help it. Too bad. I've already said it's already happening. You've got corona chicken. The top thing on my random diseases I just put up was chlamydia, chlamydophila, pneumonia infection.
00:35:34
Speaker
Great. Well, we'll cast Chlamydia now. So we're just saying he has a stripped of fascist menococcus. He has a disease, and he's covered in pustules now. And there's going to be a problematic side effect, Sally, is that the pustules sort of burst in real crazy, and some of the pust gets into your mouth, and you also get stripped of caucus menophilia. OK. I'll throw up on Kepri's shoes.
00:36:08
Speaker
Every damn day she just finds a reason kids are I'm just gonna change my shoes Luke. Do you want to trade? I'm just in the corner screaming
00:36:19
Speaker
I was trying to let this guy out, and all of a sudden it just broke out into this disease. So after your punches go away, Luke, and once your symptoms start to pop up, Sally, you guys are gonna just have this, it's gonna be like a rash, like it's gonna appear all over your skin and stuff, and you're gonna have to like see a doctor against an ointment, probably. What the fuck? What the fuck happened? Did you do this? You, you fucking- The guy in the cage is like, ahh! Why would I do this to myself at all? What do you both approach now?
00:36:45
Speaker
You guys are great. You know, I almost chose a healing skill, but I didn't. Damn. Oh my god, my whole fucking body hurts. Why? You should be itchy. You made me have fucking boils that burst. Why would you do this? I'm on your team.
00:37:09
Speaker
Well, the Dark Master. Holy shit. He has certain requirements. Oh my god! You're so lucky I can't just fucking... Alright. You recruited me, bitch. This is what you did. I didn't recruit you!
00:37:29
Speaker
Because you barely had a fucking home at all and we're gonna fucking take care of you Yeah, I know that's that's not on me though that's on Sierra Okay, so why you guys are arguing here from inside the the cell and when you look in there It's the chippies guy. He's just sitting on the on the thing with his legs crossed
00:37:57
Speaker
Danny said that we didn't see him. Oh, OK. Hey, can I get some chips? Oh, hey, Oscar. How's it going?
00:38:08
Speaker
You guys are a riot. Let me tell you. This is really- Shut the fuck up. No, don't. You're not talking. Don't. Hey, cops. Fucking let's arrest this guy. What? Oh! Everybody just stupid- Is that Brian from Chippies? Yeah, it's me, Brian from Chippies. Our guns are wooden. No, he's not. It's not Brian. No, I'm Brian. I got a job. I got a job. I don't care if it's Brian. Last week, whenever I came here, bringing my little friend the hook man.
00:38:35
Speaker
No, you literally just teleport in here. I heard you. You guys did okay. Oh my god. I'm doing so many, so many subtle things around here you guys. I took his place. No one was even looking. I made him become a zombie when he thought he was... Oh my... I tried so hard. Keppri, how's it going buddy? I don't know who you are. I don't really know who you are either. Are you the popsicle?
00:39:05
Speaker
No, I'm not a meat popsicle. Okay. If you're talking about- No, that's not- I don't think we need to worry. I don't think it's your popsicle. No, that is not the popsicle, Sally. Yeah, if you're talking about a pop-sis-icle, yeah, that guy, he told me he'd come here. He asked me for some help, you know, fucking around with some friends of his. He didn't tell me it was another guy. I don't really like that, but yeah.
00:39:34
Speaker
Well, then why don't you just apologize and we'll all go our separate ways. Really? Sure. I mean, my fucking partner died. His fucking partner died. Come on. Get him, monster. Well, I didn't say that no one else, you know, that everyone else was agreeing. I just said that we would all go our separate ways, meaning you would die and we would all go home.
00:40:00
Speaker
Perfect world of the outcome of this. Uh, let me get to get this right. Um, I apologize. You kill me. Yep. Yeah. And you go home. Yep. Wow. Uh, I really got, I got to think about this over my head. Um, Well, it's either that, or I just unleashed Oscar in there now. Cause I know he's chomping at the bit to destroy the cage. All right. Yeah. That sounds fun. Come on. What? What? No, fuck that. What's happening?
00:40:29
Speaker
Look, yeah, it comes around here. Two men enter. I have a shotgun, you want to see it? No, I'll just take off the thing I'm wearing. I don't know the name for it. Like the black thing. Your vest? Yeah, yeah, my vest. And put it to the side and then go into the cell. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Gage rat. This guy. What? No, why are you not going to have a fucking gage rat? His little chippy's apron. All right.
00:40:55
Speaker
I say we let him have this. He's been waiting for this. Use your fucking glowing sword or whatever and just slice him in half and let's go. I'm fucking covered in boils and I don't want to fucking be here in this goddamn country anymore. I want to go back to America. I want a cheeseburger. I want to fucking get a... I want to brush my teeth first off. Boom. Slams. Got him.
00:41:17
Speaker
Grumpy guy with the boils It's pay-per-view buddy. Excuse me. No fucking talk. Hey, don't talk to me that way. We're doing hell in a cell No, we're not I'm gonna get a gun and I'm gonna shoot you in the fucking face dick I don't want to ever see you again Sally. Shut the fuck up. All right, I'm walking outside. I'm getting the fucking gun. I'm getting a gun I'm finding a gun in this guy. Okay, you cannot buy it. Can I bite him though? Yeah, you're gonna go in and bite him? Oh, you're gonna bite me? Oh kinky
00:41:46
Speaker
All right. Yeah, you guys can fight. I'm just getting a gun. I'm going to come back and shoot him. And you guys can have a fight. And I'm going to come back with a gun and kill him. All right. What does kinky mean? Shut the fuck up. Don't talk to me. You fucking put boils all over me. What is wrong with you? Oh, I know. I know what's wrong with you. You're a fucking creepy haunted child. Can they leave yet? Gee, can we just come on? Come on, Oscar. Come on. I'll let you have the first swing. He like pushes his chin up. Be like one.
00:42:15
Speaker
I'll try and chomp on him and bite him in his neck. Chomp on him and bite him in his neck? Oh my god. Roll a kick-ass tough situation. Kick some ass. Kick that ass. Oh, well. Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear, dear me. You get an experience point for that, at least. Yeah. Yeah. So he's, you hunt for that chomp, and he says, psych! He grabs you by the lower jaw, and
00:42:45
Speaker
pushes you back and clacks your head off the cell. And you take one harm. Come on, Oscar. I'll try to stand up and... You can do it. Yeah. Shut up, kid. What are you doing to him? He'll make me give you pustules. I'm standing up and try to jump at him again. Okay. Do your kick ass again. Hopefully you kick ass this time.
00:43:10
Speaker
Yeah. Oscar, Oscar, you can use a point of luck to give yourself an automatic 12 or something that you want to do. That's right. I can do that. So you can use your luck if you really want to know this. Yeah. But remember to read you a little thing there, Oscar, it says some stuff, particularly your character as well as some bad outcomes from using luck.
00:43:39
Speaker
But if I only use one log, nothing's going to happen, right? It says, when you spend luck, these things happen. So I don't know. Well, do you want to read it out loud? Oh, OK. No, I actually didn't read that. Oscar knows it. It's fine. OK. I'm just saying you can, or you can just get hurt some more. That's up to you. I'm just saying that you have it, reminding you that you have it. Using one, I wouldn't make anything too terrible, like start happening to you. But it would certainly be a domino at the beginning of a thing.
00:44:08
Speaker
Yeah. Plus we're, plus we're probably getting close to the end of the mystery and you're a guest. You can blow all the luck you want. And also, yeah, you might, I mean, you might get killed if you don't. Yeah, I'll do that one luck. Okay, cool.
00:44:22
Speaker
so you get full success. You can choose one extra effect since you got a 10 plus. You gain the advantage, take plus one forward or give plus one forward to another player. You inflict terrible harm which gives him plus one extra harm. You suffer less harm which you're not suffering harm because your next time being harmed. Negative one harm. Or you force them where you want them to go. So I can inflict double the harm. You can just get one more harm. Plus one on top of your
00:44:51
Speaker
But I'm assuming you're buying them again, because you're probably trying to do as much as you can. Yeah, you would be able to do four and three. Oh, yeah. Plus one. Yeah. I'll do the plus one harm then, and that's five. So that's five? Yeah, that's five, because I have four on my bite. Holy shit. Oh, yeah, he doesn't actually play. Yeah, holy cow. Wow. Holy frig.
00:45:18
Speaker
Uh, you, you, you like step back and he's holding it like, wow. Whee. Whoa. Man, you're lucky you can't kill me like that or I'd be very upset. Anyway, you want to do it again? Hey, did he take the place of the other guy that was in there or is the other guy in there? No, he's not in there. Wow. Okay. Cool. Am I bleeding you guys?
00:45:48
Speaker
There's like blood gushing out of his neck. You're fine. You're fine. I caught myself shaving once. It was kind of bad. Anybody got some toilet tissue I can dab on this? Oh, I haven't come back with a shotgun yet. Yeah. Oh yeah, he has a shotgun. And the other cops are following him with actual guns and shit. They're like, oh, OK. No more wooden guns today.
00:46:15
Speaker
Well, I can give you, I can, I can fill you up with, uh, some lead. If that'll help, it's not the lead. And, uh, I mean, I feel, I feel like if, if I lose more blood, I'll stop bleeding. So that's probably a good thing, right? You guys, you think you guys think, yeah, let's try it. And I put my gun through like the cell, like the fucking bars and I'm just like, Hey, uh, stand back, Oscar. Yeah. I'll like. Just try to push it back up a bit and then leave the cell.
00:46:43
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, you do that. He's like, whoa. Hey, no shoving guys, rude. Try to get a shot over here. All right. Are you pulling the trigger? I took my vest bit wrong. Okay. Where is he? Like, where is he right now? He's like in the middle of the cell. He's just standing there? Yeah. He's still holding his neck, which is like, you know, showering him in blood. Okay.
00:47:10
Speaker
Yeah, I'm gonna fucking kill him. I'm gonna shoot him. I'm gonna aim for the head. Roll your roll, roll cool to act under pressure, which is what we decided to write for our guns. Yeah, I think so. Cool. Ten. Ten. Fuck, man. Yeah, you do what you set out to do. You write where you're shooting him at. In the face. His face. His head, okay. Shotgun's three harm, by the way. Yeah, his head is detaited from his body.
00:47:37
Speaker
His cap has been detained. Just a lower jaw. And his tongue is licking at the eye. But he's still standing up. And he falls over with his fucked up head in the toilet. Somebody's got a flush dad. Is he dead? Probably not. His hands start slapping around on the top of the toilet and he goes to the flush thing. Can I set it on fire?
00:48:07
Speaker
Sure. The body? Yeah. Nope. I can't. The toilet starts shooting water out, and it puts out any flames you try shooting towards him. And he stands up, and his head's back. I guess technically I lose control of my magic, by the way, Justin, because I failed. Thank you for telling me that.
00:48:32
Speaker
Do I set Luke on fire? So here's what happens. You're trying to shoot at the flushing toilet, and it just starts, a tornado of fire just starts shooting out. And everybody roll, really, whatever you want to do. You act under pressure, you can try and protect someone, but there's a fire, shoot another place. These cops are standing here. It's a whole thing. So you can either roll tough to protect someone, or act under pressure to save yourself.
00:49:02
Speaker
say it's under pressure is that cool it's cool yeah he got an 11 he's fine i got a 12 who's cool as a cucumber sally's cool as a cucumber um i'll try to like protect the policeman okay cool you got a 10 protect someone 10 plus um i think i am just going to um
00:49:31
Speaker
I think I'm just I think I'm also gonna roll tough and I'm gonna see if I can like Maybe like do like some sort of block stance to see if I can block some of the flames from like using my sword to try to like, you know Redirect some of the flames away from everybody else right to keep it from spreading throughout the thing Let's see 11 yeah
00:49:55
Speaker
We all rolled super well for that. So Sally and Luke are safe. They duck out of the way some flames. Oscar, you're trying to save the guards. You can choose one of these options. You suffer a little harm from blocking them from the fire. You take minus one harm. All impending danger is now focused on you. You inflict harm on the enemy, or you hold the enemy back, which right now Sally and or a tornado fires the enemy, so it really doesn't take effect. So you can either
00:50:25
Speaker
make sure you take less harm. You really can't focus on harming yourself, so really, you just get a nice little harm. So you take a little fire damage. Actually, Kepri, you're blocking them, right? Right, I jumped in front of the cage, and I'm trying to redirect as many flames as I can with my flaming sword. So before Oscar takes any damage, which of those choices would you like to do? Would you try to take the all-impending danger, focus on you, and that way you can just say, okay. Yes. So instead, Kepri, I'm gonna make you take
00:50:55
Speaker
One fire damage, but it's ignoring armors, just take one harm. And sorry to single you out, but I've been forgetting that whenever anyone takes harm, it's supposed to have a sort of a detriment to them. So I'm gonna make you drop your sword.
00:51:12
Speaker
Anytime you take harm, that happens? I mean, there's different things that can happen to you, but you're just gonna... I'm gonna make you... Okay. That's fine. I just put my... I put my... I put my... Holy... Holy fists up and just try to... You know, try to keep it... Keep the flames from spreading as much as I can. Trying to make sure I can keep eye contact... Well, not eye contact. Eye sight. Excuse me. On the... On the assailant and see if he left. Yeah, that's fine. Once you... Once you, like... You drop your sword, like, as the flames dissipate, it ends. And it's all good. Her little... Wacky magic fuckup is going.
00:51:42
Speaker
Is he still in there? Did I set the guy on fire at least? I know. Everyone but him. Almost everyone but him. But then he stands up. Again, his face is back. His head's back. His hair is perfect. And he's like, wow, you guys. I feel like I've reacted when I was worried about a god being here because this is... You guys suck. I said it. Take it.
00:52:12
Speaker
I would like to know one thing. Oh, nevermind. Can I, before his head gets shot off, can I roll to hear his thoughts and investigate what he is? Uh, yeah. Roll, uh, roll, investigate him. Cause I can, yeah. What is that sharp? Oh dear. Unless he was pretending to be that zombie, in which case you already did that.
00:52:39
Speaker
Well, I don't know that. Or I'll let you maybe, you can, I'll let you decide if you want to investigate a mystery or read a bad situation. And we can maybe tweak some of the questions for you and... It's still sharp either way, yeah. Oh, that's not bad. Nine, okay. I got nine. What sort of creature is this? Okay. So as you're doing this really quickly,
00:53:07
Speaker
You're hearing a lot of shit right out through his head, and one of the things he says is, he's fucking Asian. They're gonna figure out how much trickster. They're fucking stupid as shit. Man, I'm smart. I'm the best fucking trickster ever. Fucking stupid idiots. Great. Can I then put that in Luke, Capri, and Puppy's brain and just go, he's a trickster? Yeah, you say that. What? He's a trickster? No, I'm not. Shut up.
00:53:33
Speaker
Just as Luke hears, he's a trickster. He pulls the trigger. And he got an eight on his cool shooting McDoody. So he's like, just as Oscar says, he's a trickster. The trickster says, no, I'm not. Who said that? And you're like, blast your shotgun off. He ducks to the side of your shotgun blast.
00:54:02
Speaker
One of the pellets hits the cell right in front of you, Luke, and it pings right back toward you. Wow. Picture right there. Picture. On the army, and you take a harm. Can I real protect someone? Yeah, I'll protect someone before he takes harm. The second time, he's pretty smart. Eleven. Man, temporary, saving people from friendly fire.
00:54:27
Speaker
I'm gonna catch the fucking bullet. Reaction catch bullets. That's fucking insane. Oh my god! It's insane, it's insane. Alright, I'm gonna make you take- Good ability to have. It's handy. It's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm gonna make you take one hand harm. Since you have armor on. One hand armor. Yeah, it hurts. But I do have the holy glow. You do. But sometimes you just get hurt. Alright. You know, that's okay. Well hang on. I get things for protect someone. So I suffer a little harm. So I'm gonna say minus one harm. There you go.
00:54:57
Speaker
It stings a little bit then. There you go. Yeah. Take that, keeper rules. I'm so excited. I forget these things sometimes. I'm having a lot of fun here today. It's okay. So I catch it and it's a little smoky. Like, oh, that's warm. Oh, that's warm. Cool.
00:55:14
Speaker
You know, why do I even try, man? Why do I even bother? That was uncalled for. You can just do all this yourself. Just teleport in there, slice them in half, let's go. I don't know what a trickster is. I do why. Yeah, he's definitely a trickster. If anyone wants to roll, see if they know anything. I'm going to say... What is that? I'm going to say... What kind of rolls? I'm thinking... Is there anything other than... It'd probably be investigate a... Yeah. Investigate a mystery, it has a question of what can hurt it. Yeah.
00:55:43
Speaker
Well, I already figured out what it is so I can't I only got one hold from that so it's up to you three Well, I'm not very sharp, so it shouldn't be me You have the most experience hunting buster is nobody he got five you guys both want a five in a six Against all odds
00:56:08
Speaker
No, I'm just gonna pick up my sword and go in there and stab him. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna investigate shit. Just gonna pick up my blade, walk in there and say, all right, we haven't tried this yet, so why don't you just go ahead and thrust yourself onto this, huh? We've started with a shotgun twice. Sidebar. Luke, if you'd like to, you can try and get a hold of your company to see if they can tell you anything about tricksters while he's... Yeah, I'll go outside and give him a call. He's like, I'm gonna call you guys. Be right back.
00:56:38
Speaker
Okay, so And your weapon is devised a divine weapon hunk every it is divine and fire. Well, it's holy and fire. Yeah, it's okay Anyway, we'll have we'll do Luke step outside make a call first. Call me Every time he walks and other pastoral bursts You gotta call the research department
00:57:07
Speaker
Oh, man, what time is it? It's fucking probably middle of the night here. Oh, good. Perfect. Okay. Call another research department. Okay. Hello, this is Jeffrey and Sierra of the research department. How can I help you? Hey, Jeffrey, this is Jimmy Changa. Oh, Jimmy Changa. How's it going, man? Well, pretty shitty right now.
00:57:36
Speaker
I'm in the UK, dealing with a fucking... Yeah, right? Dealing with some kind of thing, apparently a trickster. Oh, that's tough. Yeah. Why is it tough? I hear they're pretty shifty, pretty tricky. I'm not trying to be funny, I'm just, you know, that's... That's legit. Manipulate reality and all that shit. That's pretty rough, man. Oh. So, how do we deal with this? Let's see here. I'm going to type in the Google trickster.
00:58:04
Speaker
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You know we have our database. You know we have a database, Luke. I'm just joking with you. Trying to lighten your mood. Yeah, like what's the most common way, like where, you know, maybe add like where success is true, you know, and it's like the role or the, you know, whatever they did. Right. Yeah. Uh, it looks like, looks like it's one of many, many things that doesn't like silver or Luke, I'm sorry.
00:58:33
Speaker
I've been here all morning so far. It says here if you stab it through the heart with some silver, preferably if you can pierce it and stick it to the ground, that's a really good way to trap it and destroy it. Looks like that's one of the... That's good to know, I'll try that. Where the fuck did I get some silver from? Hopefully you got some in your trunk, man.
00:59:02
Speaker
You guys always got, you guys should be carrying some silver. I hope they issue you silver. I don't know. I mean, I'm just a research guy, but I would hope they issue you silver. I know this place is stupid sometimes, but hopefully they would. Yeah, I'll have to order some. And we're good luck, man. Keeper, is that you still typing or is that somebody else doing that?
00:59:19
Speaker
Oh, that's so fucking funny. I was like, why is he still typing? He's got to write up in Luke's file that Luke called in for help. I vlogged this, Luke. Good luck out there, buddy. Yeah, I'll log it too. All right, later. He says I'll log it too.
00:59:37
Speaker
Alright, I log it, and then I'm gonna go to the car and just sprint the fuck to the car and look around for fucking silver. Alright, do you roll your sharp with your little agency ability to see if you have it in there? I'm gonna give you a plus one, because you probably would have some sort of... Okay, great. Okay, so what's your thing say? 10 plus, you're good. Seven to nine, things aren't so great.
01:00:05
Speaker
So, uh, you have, uh, I got like fucking bars of silver. Totally useless. Like a little, a small, a small little dagger. It's like, so I like a couple inches long. So you gotta get real close to him to get us from playing. I'm going to grab that thing and I'm going to run back inside and I'm going to hand it to Kepri. So, well, before you did that, I say he just left Kepri. You're going to go in there with your, with your sword. Yeah.
01:00:35
Speaker
All right. And he's like, all right, well, listen, I let the guy with teeth come in here. I didn't have any advantages. So hold on. He claps his hands together, pulls them apart and he has like a, a scimitar. All right. Come on, buddy. Okay. All right. That's fine. I just have one question for you. Why? Why what? Why here? Why this, why this parade of murder across the country? And why here? Well, I mean,
01:01:03
Speaker
I, I love chaos. So, you know, a pep come and talk to me. That was like, that was like, you know, that was like me meeting like, you know, Taylor Swift for a little girl right there. She probably, she probably loved that. So you can imagine that was like, I fangirled real hard meeting a pep. Mr. Puppy, who's Taylor Swift? I don't know. She's probably some, some rapper.
01:01:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. I think Oscar's part of T-A-I-L space, O-R space, Swift or Swift. So he says, uh, do I get experience points for that joke? Don't reward that. Um, anyway, uh, so he's, uh, you guys are a lot of fucking spirits for failing by the way. Holy shit. Hope you guys keep it going. I'm not anyway.
01:01:57
Speaker
He says, he asked me to cause a little stir, get a little attention. And here I am, causing a little stir, getting a little attention. And you just do whatever he tells you to do? If it's fun, and it was pretty fun. This is a blast I'm having right now. Well, I mean, if you really want to be sporting, why don't you just tell us?
01:02:24
Speaker
Everybody has a weakness. What's yours? If you're feeling brave. Okay, fair enough. To make it even and fair, you're a god. I mean, I'm pretty close.
01:02:36
Speaker
I'm not even I'm gonna emulate a god a little bit here and he there's a there's like a big wave of his arms and he has six arms now with six scimitars he's like I'm uh that one Indian chick just she's blue and uh you better stop talking smack on Shiva and her kin you bastard smack I'm emulating her this is flat mockery is the biggest form of flattery or something like that across blades
01:03:02
Speaker
You're making it worse. Stop talking to him. You should land a hit on me. You know, I'm not the one that exploded a toilet and set the place on fire, okay? We've gotten more damage taken from your vagrant ways than anything that I've done today. Forgive me, but calm yourself, Sally. All right, big guy, listen here. I mean, I'm not, like, panicking or anything. Listen here, egghead. If you're going to hit on me,
01:03:32
Speaker
I'll tell you.
01:03:41
Speaker
Halfway through him saying that I'm already like Midway like swing. Okay, you know I was trying to keep his gaze this whole time as he's fucking around growing arms and shit So I can like swing my blade up when he's not looking good. You got him So you can either gain the advantage you take one plus one forward or plus one for another hunter and slick terrible harm with plus one harm You can suffer less harm or you force them where you want them. I
01:04:05
Speaker
Uh, I want to force him where I want him. I want to, I want to cut three of his arms off, like in a big, uh, sweep. And I want to put his ass on the ground and like, hold my, hold my blade to, you know, hold my blade to him to keep him from growing anywhere. Okay. I'll give you one arm and the ground. All right, fine. I'll cut off. I'll cut off one of his lower arms and I'm going to sweep kick him and bring him down to the ground and put my blade to his, to his, to his throat. Whoa, man. Not cool. Yes. You are not a God.
01:04:36
Speaker
I am a god. How you guys deal with this guy? Huge ego. You're right. He's a dumb face. You got me, pal. I kind of set off. We already know that's not going to work. I have a reason why I want to do that, though. Roll tough. Kick a little ass. Ben, baby. Kick a little ass. Take a little man.
01:05:02
Speaker
kicking all the ass. Yeah, so I want to inflict terrible harm on him. Okay. And I want to drive my blade the rest of the way through his head and remove it. Okay, you have done. And so when I do that, I want to see if in particular what his reaction is to having that happen as I sever his head. I'll let you know after we get back to Luke.
01:05:31
Speaker
Luke, you come into the building and you see in the dark, like all the lights are kind of off in the front area now. There's a cloaked figure standing in front of you. But as you look at it closer, it's a coat rack with a coat hang off it. And it's like clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. What? Can I move around? The coat rack's moving around.
01:05:58
Speaker
The coat rack. The coat rack is moving around. Okay. I'm going to just say that. Hey, the coat rack. The coat rack is moving around. Can anyone else see this? Well, they're in the back. Everybody's in the back now. Luke, it's coming at you. It's suddenly sprinting away, sprinting away, sprinting away, sprinting away. What the fuck would it be? What the fuck would all my things be?
01:06:26
Speaker
Act under pressure. Act under pressure. Roll your cool. Are you cool enough? Anybody knows he's cooler than school. Oh man, you're cooler than school. Okay, you can either trip over the bottom of the coat rack's little feet. You can get the dagger you have in your hand caught on the cloak and it will get stuck in the cloak and it will lose hold of it.
01:06:55
Speaker
or you... those two options, I have three. Those two options. Fall on the ground, flip, or... If I fall, like, land on the fucking knife? No. Okay, I'll fall there. Okay. You're on the ground. I'm gonna try to get back up. As you do it, the thing whacks you right in the tummy and you take one harm. Alright. Hey, Luke's getting his ass kicked. Holy shit. Oh, fuck it. I'm gonna try to get up again. He's almost at the spider. Okay. You can get up, Luke.
01:07:26
Speaker
All right, I get up and I continue. So anybody here going to say there's a coat rack out here? I feel like nobody cares. I don't know. Did I do? Do we have to? He does have the best ears of all of us. Yeah. Um, yeah. Oscar probably heard it. No sweat. Oscar. You definitely didn't know. I feel I'm going to say nobody else really noticed in the, in the heat of everything. Cause I was right as Keppri was like slicing dude's head off. So you heard like, you heard, you heard this Keppri talking and slicing and you heard this coat rack out here moving around.
01:07:56
Speaker
Yeah. And then I said anything, but a door. So yeah, through, through like the opening, you see, you can, you can now, you see like the weird scale of cloak looking thing wiggling around and you see Luke like running out of the shadows. Does he see Luke get beat up by the coat rack? He sees just as Luke gets up from being on the ground, you see like his head pop up out of her, like a little like half wall divider thing in the other room. And then he runs, starts running around it towards you.
01:08:25
Speaker
I'll think I'll better look if there's any problem.
01:08:36
Speaker
No, dude, this thing, there's a fucking coat rack out there. He's just attacking me. Holy shit. Like I got this, I got this dagger. I got a silver dagger. I'm going to fucking end the capri. We're going to kill this motherfucking trickster. All right. Just watch out for that fucking coat rack outside. Okay.
Battle Against the Enemy
01:08:50
Speaker
And you're going to go inside the capri and I'll take care of this coat rack thing. Don't like push the coat rack or anything. Just like hold your spot. Like you don't need a reason to put it right by. All right. I'm going to hand it when we're under the cage for the cell. Okay. All right.
01:09:05
Speaker
So after you're standing guard for the co-reqs, Oscar? Yeah. It's just out there dancing around. You can't help but feel like it's taunting you. It's just like... What the fuck is wrong with this place? Mr. Puppy, what the hell is that? I don't know. There's some weird thing dancing around outside.
01:09:23
Speaker
I'm just I'm gonna hide behind Oscar and just kind of peer around and stare at the cobra All right, do I get to what you have to say about that now trickster his head's like way enough like looking off like the toilet and it's like Not cool, man. Not cool. It's a second time. I died today. It's pretty cool
01:09:46
Speaker
I'm sure if I was looking from the other side, it was probably pretty cool. But from where I was, laying on the puke-covered floor with my hand next to the toilet, wasn't that cool? All right, I'm going to open the cell at that moment. Hey, what are you doing in here, man? Go here. I'm going to hand the thing to Capri, the dagger, and just be like, try the heart. What? Oh, this is fancy. How do you feel about this? Stab it. Stab it. Stop talking. Just stab.
01:10:17
Speaker
I do that. Okay, do your roll. Fuck. Well, I got an eight, so it's not the worst. It's not the worst, but it's not the bad. It means I can still wound him, though. I'll get hurt, but so will he. Okay, so you go to do that. Yeah, you get him, but just as his head starts rolling around and his body starts wiggling, so you stab him kind of in the tummy a little bit.
01:10:44
Speaker
And then he's going to let me see here. What's all the different options I have here? He's gonna his head rolls over and like start fighting in your ankle hanging out What's with everybody messing with my shoes? And then then one of the sword swings kept brain slices you for to home. Oh shit. All right
01:11:10
Speaker
Destruction I I yell out I yell out best debt get in here Between the things. Oh, there's a cat involved and He told him best debt. We have to finish him now. He goes and he's standing up with his head back. Okay Get your fucking your cats and your little silver daggers out of here. Oh
01:11:35
Speaker
I don't care, I'm going to tag him again. Okay, go for your swing. But I'm also asking for assistance from Bestet, so I don't know what you would have me roll for that. You can get a plus one, she's going to try and jump at him, I suppose, and grab a hold of him.
01:11:49
Speaker
Fuck I only got a nine. God damn it. Nine. Oh shit. Yeah, you I'm just gonna say you miss and he teleports. Lock. He teleports. Lock. Lock. Lock. Lock. I thought you were saying fuck. Nope. I'm using lock. Using lock points. I want to have a badass fucking finish with Bassette and me. Okay so he thinks, here I fucking go man. He's dumbasses. I'm gonna get him.
01:12:11
Speaker
He's about teleport you see you see you you're you're fucking adrenaline-fueled God mode by the stab you see him like starting to fade you're like oh no motherfucker and Best it grabs him by his his cloth blonde hair He's like ah shit, and then you Jab him right in the right in the chest to go right in the heart sickle with his uh with your little with your little dagger All right now twist twist twist I twist it and I headbutt him in the head Get on him you need to you need to like really get him like
01:12:42
Speaker
You gotta really get him. Bring him to the floor, Bastak. Fuck off, cat lady. Why'd I fuck around so much? Ah shit, I could've just got out here. Fucking dammit. I wanted to kill a god. Ah, this hurts. Are you gonna finish the job the other way? All right, now step on it. Just step on it. Put it right into it. Put the whole thing in it. We don't have, we need to use the whole thing. I do that. Luke, come step on it. All right, I'll go in there and step on it. Oh, yeah bro.
01:13:10
Speaker
How about Luke about with the staffing what's that cool cool? Okay, I can do that. Hey sorta. Hey, that's fine. If you had done better I would have said you smashed up the hill and the debt in the handle all the way down in but you don't be And then there's a big big fucking light you tell like the little wound and he's like
01:13:36
Speaker
Yeah, it looks like that worked. Okay. Yeah, that looks good. Unless he's still fucking like a husk at this point, like a gray sickening husk. You should take a piece of him home so we can put it in the museum. And you hear the coat rack fall over outside. Oh, good. Good. And I'll try and tell you that the coat rack has stopped moving. Oh, thank God. I was really nervous about that coat rack. What happened in here?
01:14:06
Speaker
Oh, man. Did you defeat the coat rack? I did, yeah. I defeated it with a mind power. He did really good with the coat rack. Yeah, I beat his ass. I beat his ass. Beat that coat rack, yeah. The chief guy's like, oh, bloody hell, this is going to be a lot of paperwork, I've got to say. It's going to be quite a lot to fill out.
01:14:31
Speaker
Mr. Luke is good at paperwork, sir. Oh, well, I mean, I'm sure he's got his own paperwork. He's got to fill it out back in America. No, he'll offer it. He's real shy about it, but he likes to help people with their paperwork. Well, I couldn't impose on you, sir. Actually, I don't want you dripping any of that weird stuff from your face onto my papers. Thank you. You should really go get yourself to the clinic if you haven't been there yet. They're really good. Help you out.
01:14:58
Speaker
I'm not going back to that clinic. Fair enough. Is there a different one? That guy was the doctor that is useless, man. They have no, they just don't care over there. They shouldn't investigate that place or shut it down. No, it's not all right. Dude, they literally let someone in who tried to smell the green into the pillow. I guess he could have teleported it.
01:15:19
Speaker
Yeah, but if it was this guy, one of these weird things, how do you stop that? I hit the call nurse button, no one showed up. That's bad enough. Ignoring all these circumstances, that's bad enough for me. I'll have a talk with them, I guess. Yeah, talk with them and make sure that the talk contains the words, you are shut down permanently. Yes, I'll do that. Thanks, guys. You guys clean up the bodies.
01:15:48
Speaker
No. This thing terrifies me. Can you teleport that shit out of here, Capri? Can I take a piece? Can I put it in my pocket? No. Keeper, can I take a piece? Roll, act under pressure of Luke trying to stop you and get in there. I feel like Sally rolls just so much against her own team as she does against the enemies. She rolled a three.
01:16:12
Speaker
She got one plus one plus one. I don't want to force you to do anything, Luke, but you're probably like this. You try to run past him and I really hope that, Luke, we just put his hand on your face and be like, no. I like to think that she got to the body and I just like picked her up like a cat, you know? Just like put... Stop. Just like grab her by her jacket and just move her off. We need to bring it home with us. I'm so sick of you. We're going home now. I'm so sick of you. We need to... Oh my God.
Post-Battle Humor and Closure
01:16:43
Speaker
just he's talking to an eight year old girl sick of you literally sick you really made me sick oh you were big me so yeah okay so as mean somehow and that's that makes it okay for you to give me whatever the fuck you gave me okay sure yeah
01:17:11
Speaker
Okay, now you have to go to the doctors. Because it looks like you have it too. That's gonna be great for me. You're going to have to quarantine together. No. Do you know how to play Go Fish, Mr. Luke? We could paint our nails. Mr. Puppy will paint with us. Capri, I'm gonna throw her with Capri. I'm just gonna toss her with Capri. Please take care of this. I'm gonna take care of myself.
01:17:37
Speaker
Okay. Oscar, Sally, would you like to talk to the puppy? Okay, I was thinking that we could bury my partner now that all is over. I thought you were going to bury Sally. Let's bury Sally beneath your partner. Okay. Sally, what?
01:18:05
Speaker
Mr. Puppy, do you like to dig holes? I'm sure who doesn't. Okay. There was a dog in my neighborhood who he liked to dig up people's backyards. And why did he do that? Because he was looking for bones. He's a dog. And did he find any?
01:18:30
Speaker
I don't know. I think he got hit by a car. Yeah. There's a certain, there's a certain innocence about those two having a conversation. He's very interesting. He's like, well, did he find any bones? Have you ever been hit by a car, Mr. Puppy? No, I don't. Okay. And I'm glad that I didn't. That would hurt actually. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine.
01:19:01
Speaker
Hey, Bastet, could you do me a favor and teleport this, I don't know, dispose of this somewhere while we finish the rest of our business here? I guess I can take it to the bird pit back at headquarters. Yes, whatever. Just as long as it's, you know... Save a piece for the museum. No, don't save any pieces, Bastet. Just take it somewhere if you would. That would be most kind of you. I will do just that, Keppri.
01:19:30
Speaker
And thank you for your assistance as always, best stats. I can always count on you. No problem. I'll see you later once I get rid of this gross thing. Yes, let's meet up later. I have to talk to you. Fantastic. He's gonna kiss you.
01:19:47
Speaker
I, I look over at, uh, over at Sally and I blush a little shut up. Oscar, you said you wanted to bury your partner. Yeah. Do you want to go to the morgue and say you're like, say a couple of words and say goodbye to him and tell him that the murder has been murdered.
01:20:15
Speaker
Murderer has been murdered. Yes, I think we can do that. I certainly can't leave Sally with Luke. I don't think he's... Sally, you're coming with us. If I can sit on Mr. Puppy's shoulders. Sure, just don't spook any ghosts in a graveyard. Oh no, I like the ghosts. They're nice. And don't throw up on my shoes.
01:20:42
Speaker
I can't make any promises. You kill the church with poop on your shoes. That's pretty badass. Yeah. So, yeah, we I mean, I guess I follow Oscar wherever it is so we can go deal with whatever he needs to do when we have a little funeral for his deceased friend and partner. Montage, go to the morgue, take him back to London town and roll the credits.
01:22:15
Speaker
Is it good already?