Transcript
Speaker: All right, we're doing it. We're live. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies gentlemen, non-binary folks in universes, of the unknown. This is, ooh, almost said the wrong show. Role players. And welcome back. back Welcome to and back to Monster of the Week, where we take your cues. Nope, wrong podcast. where we have our friends, Cass, David, and Adrian, who are going to be playing with us with some Monster of the Week. So before we get into the story, before we get into everything, just so people can start imagining right away, let's just go around the room real quick and say, hey, here's the characters that I am. And just as a real quick overview, if you didn't listen to the first preview episode,
Speaker: These all of the players that you're about to hear, all the PCs you're about to listen to have all responded to an SOS call from a man named Buster from the world that we're about to play in because he accidentally cracked a code. Well, actually, he purposely cracked a code, but accidentally unleashed a bunch of beasts from other universes into his world and then sent an SOS into those worlds to say, hey, can someone come help me out with this oopsie I just made?
Speaker: And so these three are going to be among the people who responded to his SOS, whatever that sounds like. So having said that, Adrian, do you want to tell us what your character is, like what your playbook is and just a little bit about, you know, like a minute or two just about your character and what people can imagine that he looks like?
Speaker: OK, so I'm playing Rock. He's both a humanoid person and also a weapon. And he like got born as a weapon and then as he grew up, as like all the other people in this world, they learned to like create a human form that it can switch between.
Speaker: And in this world, people usually have lives where they find a partner and like settle down and just live a cliff don normal my life. But Rock didn't really like that and once he like heard SOS call, even though he's a bit of a scared person, he wanted to go on this adventure to like find other people that he maybe can connect with.
Speaker: And that's why he like went on this journey. Oh, he's also a Scythe when he's like in web reform. So he can switch between a humanoid form and a p scythe form. Can you elaborate a little bit more on just what he looks like in human form or humanoid form?
Speaker: In humanoid form, he looks um like a man that's, um let's say, around 190, like a bit of a bigger guy.
Speaker: has is bald and we are tank top for jacket jeans okay a pretty casual outfit yeah nothing really that special okay and his scythe form is there any like interesting markings or anything that would have him stand apart or does he look rather ordinary Right now, he looks rather rather ordinary because through the lifetime, they get like the markings and all the like specificities.
Speaker: But by now, it's just like a black scythe. I dig that. All right. That's really fun. Cool. All right. Well, then let's jump over to Cass. Cass, will you tell us about who your person is? Maybe like a little glimpse into what their role is like and tell us just kind of like some general features that would make her very distinctive.
Speaker: So Gravy, she used to be a grim reaper and she was like, you know what? I'm just, I'm really tired of having to watch people die over and over again. So I am just gonna, I'm just gonna quit this game and I'm gonna be the world's greatest actress.
Speaker: So in her world, um it's just a world of reapers and they have what they call a court of ravens where the ravens end up taking them to their respective afterlife.
Speaker: And so what they, what she comes to when she reaps the soul is like a huge amphitheater of like Ravens, and then you can see a bunch of different doorways inside this, like, it looks like a doorway um inside the Sampa Theater. And so as these Ravens guide the souls into their respective doorways, she kind of snuck through into Buster's world.
Speaker: And um because she is a Grim Reaper, she... she did hear Buster's call and is just kind of like trying to figure out, um, how to get there because she doesn't know this world, but she can feel like a little feeling down in her belly. And then, um, she ended up running into rock.
Speaker: And, uh, so they're, I think they're, they're getting ready to try to find Buster. I think.
Speaker: Okay, and tell us a little bit more about what she... What is what is her aesthetic? What does she look like? um So she is... She's actually pretty hot. um She's covered in tattoos.
Speaker: Yeah, she's very, very, um like, meddled out, of course, because she is a Grim Reaper. She has um black hair with, like, pink peekaboo highlights.
Speaker: And... um All of the clothing that she has on right now is stuff that she found at a thrift store, um like on the outside where people were still like donating. But of course, like the thrift store was closed. And so they left a bunch of crap outside. And so she ended up going through it and finding it. And then she found a cell phone that seemed to work. And she also found like a guitar that she was like, yeah, I'm going to use this for anything that I, and, and, you know, it's actually a pretty hefty one. It was made back in the seventies.
Speaker: but nobody seemed to want it probably because like, um, there's no strings on it. And like it, I'm pretty sure it it's like a toy.
Speaker: Maybe, possibly. It might be. It might be. Okay. So she is pretty much like a, like a goth metal hot chick with a, with a guitar ah yeah with no strings. Okay. right Yep.
Speaker: And so her clothes don't really match, but they like, she kind of grabbed whatever she could find. So she found like a bunch of like, old like rock and roll t-shirts that she or that she thinks might be rock and roll t-shirts they might actually be hello kitty t-shirts um and she just you know put together whatever she could you know that she found for her outfit so you never know what she's gonna be wearing that for day sure well you know you know in these worlds just for everybody at home i like to imagine that our characters change their clothes sometimes you know they're not just wearing the same thing all the time um exactly but okay
Speaker: So we've got she wants to be an actress. So she has like lots of outfits. You know what I mean? Sure, sure. i always an name outfit Gravy yeah is her name. Yeah. okay gravy and rock. And then lastly, we have David.
Speaker: David, can you tell us about your guy and what he looks like? Where's from and and any other aesthetics? Yeah, yeah, yeah. ah So ah my character's name is Bill.
Speaker: ah He is a spell slinger class, which means he slings spells. Oh. Yeah. So ah he's ah he's a blue guy.
Speaker: He's also bald. Like, I think there you know ah the other guy is bald, right? The weapon. Bald high five. Yeah. So have two bald guys here.
Speaker: He's ah short. He's ah kind of like ah pudgy looking, I guess. If you think of like Kif from Futurama, but blue... That's like my guy. And then the way he dresses is just like a normal like dude. He just wears like, you know, like guy really tight cut off jean shorts, you know, and like, I mean, he wears no, he wears like a he's a never nude khaki pants. You know, he looks he dresses. He's like bank casual or bank casual. isn casual He's like bank a tighter. That's what I meant to say. Wow. I love that.
Speaker: So he's bank casual. Right. And yeah. Uh, so he, her busters, uh, notice through blue Craigslist or whatever, cause he's from a blue planet. Right. And it's, you know, any similarity to Eiffel 65 is not intentional. Right.
Speaker: Um, So he hears you know Buster or whatever through through Blue Craigslist, and he checks his bank account. It says $0, U.S. dollars, actually. And he decides, all right, well, this Buster guy i mentioned he needs help. There's no payment involved, but at this point, he's ready to eat he's ready to do a weird odd job or to you know just to even see if you know He can get into good graces of somebody and get some money. So he takes the job and, you know.
Speaker: ah Enters his portal that he creates himself and into another you know dimension or whatever. And. ah Yeah, here we are. Cool.
Speaker: And ah just so just for the folks at home, you come from a blue world, but not everything is actually blue, right? Yeah, it's like how it's like how we have green here as general theme of Earth, right? Green, while the water is all blue and stuff, I guess. but And there's a lot of brown.
Speaker: Yeah, just that's all blue instead. i see. So lots of like plants are blue and shit like. Yeah. like And people are also bluish different shades of blue and such, right? Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, it's like a pudgy blue blob alien. Gotcha. OK, so now I haven't thought a whole lot about this next part, but we have rock, we have gravy and we have built.
Speaker: So how I pretty much imagine this going is you all essentially as you try to find wherever the call is coming from or how to get there at some juncture, there was just a door.
Speaker: A door that just it wasn't attached to anything. door that... ah you know Whatever a door looks like in your world materialized that way.
Speaker: But it's not attached to anything. It doesn't go anywhere. It might be in the middle of the road. It might be into the side of a mountain. It might just be like you know like Nightmare Before a Christmas. It's just in a fucking tree.
Speaker: um However that makes sense to you, ah that can be whatever it looked like. And so essentially... For whatever reason, you feel like when Buster is calling out to you with whatever that sounds like, you hear like this energy, you feel this energy coming from the other side of one of these doors.
Speaker: So we don't really have to go through that, but that's how I imagine that you stumble into his world. um And so and there isn't like any sort of.
Speaker: to do or or magic sparks or spells or anything. You walk through this door and then you're just in a room where there's just a guy and a bunch of ah like Equipment, scientific equipment, beakers, lab looking stuff, just books and pages thrown everywhere. There's definitely I don't know if you guys have a cult on your worlds, but there's religious looking texts and a cult looking texts and upside down crosses and swat. And I almost said the wrong thing. pena Pentagon pena pentagrams, not swastikas. He's not a Nazi.
Speaker: um But if he is one, you can kill him. Nazis are bad. not Yeah, Nazis are bad. I was trying to think of something else. that The pentagram was the word I was thinking oh ah Interesting slip up there, Adam. Yeah, yeah. You know, I was just talking. I had some friends who took me out for a late birthday dinner or lunch earlier, and we were just talking about the current state of the world and how upset we are and how we wish you could just...
Speaker: punch Nazis. So I think my brain is still still like on the mind of like, oh, yeah, we should do that. So maybe we'll do that in this game. Who knows? um So ah pentagrams is the word I was looking for. um And so pentagrams and other sorts of occult looking symbols and stuff all over the walls, the floors.
Speaker: And they're just kind of a guy. i don't know, David, like what do you think of a guy named Buster Gray? What do you think this dude looks like? um
Speaker: Honestly, i think he's i think he's like a white dude in his 30s and he's freshly divorced or something. Freshly divorced. OK. That's a fun little thing to put into his backstory I didn't have. All right. I like that.
Speaker: um All right. ah what What about his physical features? he You just said he's a white dude in his He's living out in the woods, right? He's like in a cabin or something and he's...
Speaker: I don't know, he probably smells bad um and he has a long beard and long hair and he's kind of like disheveled looking. his closer adams I just imagine him to be just out of contact with, you know, other people because he's, you know, he got divorced and went nuts and just moved to a cabin or something. That's that said I imagine. OK, I think that. All right. Cool, cool, cool.
Speaker: And just for funsies, Adrian, this is what is this bearded, long haired man have on? Like, what does his clothes look like? He like a white lab coat on and a shirt that's been stained by coffee, Coca-Cola, spaghetti, all kinds of things.
Speaker: Okay. And he's like wearing like boxer shorts. He's just in his shorts. Yeah, that's that's good. Yeah, like that. OK. As you guys show up into this like big room filled with all this equipment, you hear like you just hear him it's like, oh, man, I got Coca-Cola.
Speaker: Oh, that's spaghetti right there. ah new people are coming. I forgot to watch this. Oh, oh. Oh, and he looks up and he just sees these three people are just in the room with him. You guys look to your left and right. There are the three of you also there with this kind of awkward looking disheveled man.
Speaker: ah He just looks up, ah you know, and again, like. The space that you're in is very well lit, like very like high fluorescent lighting,
Speaker: um A lot of like just like ah tech equipment and things, like I said, everywhere, ah beakers and baubles and things like that. um And ah no windows to be seen anywhere.
Speaker: And he like his eyes get really wide. He goes, oh, shit. um Hey, are you this is probably going to be a weird question since you weren't here and now you're here.
Speaker: But do you guys understand me? And did you come from another universe? Ah, humans. but I'm human. but Where? And then I turn into weapon and slay on the ground. if Okay, real quick, when you turn into a ah scythe, do you like, so do you like morph down to where your feet are then you just fall over? Or do you just like bunch up and then just fall to the ground?
Speaker: How I imagine is that there's kind of just like a magical poof and then I'm up and then I fall to the ground. Okay, all right. So he's like, yeah, so he just like... um he He just kind of like strokes his beard real quick and he goes, cool, cool. That's cool shit.
Speaker: Cool. OK, I'm going to guess that was a yes, because I don't know anybody here in my world that can do that. And then like he just he just makes eye contact with gravy and then just like he just like stares off in like this thousand yard stare and like a little bit of drool starts to enter into his beard.
Speaker: um She waggles her eyebrows at him. And his nose starts to bleed.
Speaker: You alright? You alright? Looks like you've seen death itself. yes Oh god, did I? You know what? Actually, I... Whoa. You guys speak English?
Speaker: Am I speaking your language or you speaking mine? yeah do We all speak English. You guys have England where you guys live? Blue England, yeah. Blue England? That sounds like New England. that a joke? Because you're blue?
Speaker: No, this isn't getting me being blue as a joke to you. No, I just thought because you're blue, you were making like a pun. Do you guys have puns where you live? I'm just like, I don't know what to ask. I didn't know anybody would talk to me.
Speaker: It's all right. And I think I just heard that scythe laugh. It did. Yeah. You don't have any transforming weapons where you're from or like humanoid weaponry? No, this is Earth. Do you guys also live on Earth? What do you call where you live?
Speaker: Blue Earth. Yeah, it's really similar to this. It's kind of like a... It's really similar to this planet or dimension. How does part of the Underworld? Okay, so you're from the Underworld, you're from Blue Earth.
Speaker: And is this... Excuse me, Mr. Scythe? Mr. Scythe, can you turn your your blade my way so I can hear you better? What'd you say? I turn my blade to him.
Speaker: i assume that's where your mouth is. I don't know where your mouth is.
Speaker: I look at you menacingly. ah you Are you announcing out loud that you're looking at me menacingly right now, sir? Yes. That's really cool and really funny because you don't have eyes or a face.
Speaker: I'm having a really hard time processing what's happening right now. I almost forgot that I unleashed an apocalypse on my on my world, so that's really cool. So, Mr. Scythe, where are you from, my guy? I turn back into human.
Speaker: um I'm from my world that I came from. yeah is that what it's is that Is that what it's what it's called? or No, no. i' it's the but We don't really talk about the name that much.
Speaker: It's the world that our creator made. All right. You know what? I'm getting it. It sounds like it's a personal secret. I'm prying too much. I'm sorry. My name is Buster. I don't know if that translated when I sent out the call.
Speaker: So let me be the first to welcome you to. ah ah Well, I mean, I call it Earth. That's where I live. This is Earth. um If there are other Earths, I don't know that. But apparently there's a blue Earth. on here Yeah, this is this is Universe A. Universe A is so, you know, about other universes. How do you know that?
Speaker: OK, I mean, because I can. I mean, I can teleport between them. So, yeah, I do know about them. I mean, that's is this not standard practice here? He just like runs his whole.
Speaker: Yeah, there's a lot. of You all get what? Yeah, this is this is pretty basic. Like this is we learn to show up and out of hometown. What the? Wow.
Speaker: well Hey, so you've never left your hometown on the planet that you don't want to tell me the name of. And then you guys can jump between universes whenever you want. Well, that one I was a Grim Reaper. Oh, wait.
Speaker: Hang on. i So, Mr. Okay. like Mr. Blue. blue blue I'm sorry. That's probably not your name. And um I shouldn't say short person. Can you tell me what your name is? I'm Bill.
Speaker: Bill. OK, I'm going to call you Bill. Bill, the Bill is the the short guy, not the blue guy. He's the short guy who happens to be blue. OK, you're working on this. You've got to be more. woke I'm average height, by the way. I'm average height.
Speaker: Oh, for where you're from? Yeah. Oh, well, that's great. That makes you probably like a tall king where you're from. That's really cool. Um, so, so you're Bill and then you, and you said you can travel between worlds. Is that what you're telling me right now?
Speaker: Yes. Whenever you want. Not whenever I want. You have to get the correct materials. Like a, yeah like a spell? Cause I read about some spells that I did try for this.
Speaker: I, see I see that you try and see this pentagram over here. Yeah. You don't need this. And this should be, I don't know, no. Why is it red? It needs to be blue. Oh, i didn't I didn't know the color mattered. Nothing in the text said the color mattered. Yeah. And what is this? Is this is this horse hair?
Speaker: it's it's from ah It's from a bull's scrote, if I'm being honest. Oh, well, need donkey hair. Oh, see, it doesn't. It just says from an ass. And I didn't know if it was like from my ass. And like, I couldn't quite grab like a bull by the ass. a common mistake. It's a common mistake. It's okay.
Speaker: Oh, OK, that is fascinating. I want to pick your brain more. um So you um and like he kind of like averts. He covers his like face a little bit as he looks towards you, Gravy. um Just because like he's like he's like his face is totally red at the moment.
Speaker: um And he's like, and so you do you say under Underworld, you say interesting. Can you tell us more about that? Um, I mean, if I do, I'd have to kill you.
Speaker: Oh, well, hey you know what We're all entitled to our secrets. I don't, you're right. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding with you. It's okay. Yeah. You see, it's no, starts to bleed a little bit more.
Speaker: just uh, would go to all different universes to reap the souls of people that were about to die so that they didn't get their souls lost.
Speaker: Oh, did you meet my goldfish by chance? Because I i killed him. I met many of them. okay. the One of them was probably mine. Did he say his name was Chuck?
Speaker: We had a few Chucks. Really? I thought that was such a unique name to give to a goldfish that no one would take it. No, there were quite a few. Well, but did he say that his name was Chuck M. Schultz II? Yes.
Speaker: Oh, I do remember him. Yes. He also told me about the um that time. Well, we don't have to talk about that time. We don't have to talk about that time. i was young.
Speaker: Last year. um Sure. I'm going through it. You know what? I'm going through a divorce. I don't have to explain myself right now. Okay. i Fine. You caught me. I'm divorced already. I'm not going through it. Fine. Okay.
Speaker: God, you're good at getting people to talk. Shit. I know. ah Fuck. Okay. At least you've lost before. Say what? At least you have loved before. i haven't really had that pleasure yet.
Speaker: Well. Not yet, baby. Wow. Okay. Some sparks flying here and I am so jealous. I'm fine. Everything's fine. I brought people into my world and they're already hooking up and I'm so alone. wow Okay.
Speaker: Anyway, all good. Hey guys, everything's fine. I'm so happy to see I'm sorry. And your name was ma'am, miss? I'm Gravy. Gravy like what you put on potatoes?
Speaker: No, like your grave. Oh, like it's very gravy in here. Mm-hmm. Like a 70s thing. All right Captain Reds, we get it. You're going to get laid. Okay. Thank you for rubbing it in. You're so good at talking to women. How do you do that? Oh, okay. You know what?
Speaker: um I'm sorry. And your name was Mr. Scythe. No, my name's Rock. Oh, your name's Rock? Yes. Like Dwayne the? Yes. No, i don't know who it is.
Speaker: You don't know who Dwayne the Rock Johnson is? He's like, okay, I guess. He was all right in like the 90s and 2000s, but then then he did the Scorpion King. and You know what? Is he still alive?
Speaker: Yeah, he's still alive. he's so That's why I don't know him yet. oh Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay. All right. So what do you guys do? like Like, okay, Rock, was it? Like, what is your specialty? Because, like, you guys... I don't know if you heard in the SOS, but I unleashed a bunch of monsters into my world, and I kind of need help hunting them.
Speaker: Like, are you good at swinging yourself at monsters? Yes. And do you know why I'm called Rock? Yes. Uh, no, I don't. Some rock hard.
Speaker: Same, dude. I knew it. Okay. Oh, all right. Wow. We, we have so much in common. All of us. Right. See me in your scythe form.
Speaker: I did see you in your scythe form and I'm, that's fucking nuts. Oh, wait. Hey, so if I pick you up and swing you around, does that make you sick? I mean, i would worry you not. That's like a very intimate activity.
Speaker: Oh, so if I touch you in scythe form, it's like we're like it's like we're lovers? I mean, kinda. Oh, man, that's very inappropriate.
Speaker: What if someone sharpens you? That's going sharpening. You know, that is a pleasure that I haven't quite yet enjoyed. all let Let someone else sharpen me.
Speaker: You see, like you see, like out of nowhere, where like just I don't think that Buster realizes he's even doing it. But like as he's looking at you guys with all this fascination in his face, like a notebook like floats up beside him and a pen just starts writing, transcribing almost everything you guys are saying into this little notebook.
Speaker: Like the more excited he gets, the faster this pen just starts to write. Not your journal. but Fuck. And it just drops. have They have telekinesis here, too.
Speaker: Makes sense. I who I don't have telekinesis. What are you talking about? You were just right. And then it's I don't. Why do you have to hide that from us? why do you feel like you need to hide that?
Speaker: I don't know what you're talking about. You were literally just you were a notebook. You were just writing in your notebook without using your hands. No. are you ah and you are you ah Are you a mind reader? I was thinking about writing all this down and how I forgot to grab it. Yeah. So you you can use telekinesis. It's cool. You don't have to hide it.
Speaker: Where is it? Oh, shit. Look at your notebook. Read it. Read out what it wrote. He picks it up and he's reading about like, has anybody? What if somebody sharpens you? I've never had the pleasure of somebody doing that. What the I wrote this?
Speaker: Yes. Now it's the source. Holy sh... It's like, well, now it's not writing. writing novel. I don't think so. I mean, I'm not going lie. I've blacked out a few times and I've woken up to notes and ah videos I've apparently edited. so They're not very good, but I might put them on TikTok eventually. um But. um big talk It hasn't died yet it's It's going to die soon. Fucking hope. week Yeah. You know, we get. Yeah. You know what? Yeah. That's an interesting idea. If a concept dies, do you learn about it then?
Speaker: Maybe it'll be just a figment of your imagination. Like some deja vu shit. And like you see his like beard starts to like kind of like you see like occasionally like these little sparks just like jump through like static electricity, like through his beard and it starts to puff up a bit. And like the notebook starts to like hover from his hands and start writing again. And he is just blind to it because like as you guys excite him, he just his he just has like these big owl eyes is you just can't take his eyes off of what you're what you're doing and his ears are just so attuned that i don't like he's looking right past this floating notebook you can tell easily that he does not know he's doing it can you teach me that as well i would like to know o that as well oh shit and it drops to the floor again i'm sorry dude i zoned out for a second because i was imagining like what would be like if i could control my telepathy what did you say
Speaker: I want to know how to use this telepathy as well. Sounds pretty cool. It's telekinesis, guys. Oh, is that what it is? i don't know the difference. get Telepathy is like brain communications. Like brain development. All people do that too. We communicate with minds.
Speaker: Right, right, right. and then What the fuck? So you already do telepathy? Right, right. but Like with anybody? Yeah, that's the one. Can you tell me can you tell me a secret in my brain right now?
Speaker: That only really works you have connection. Fuck. Well, we just met. ah That makes sense. We need to hang out more. Oh, OK.
Speaker: Well, I mean, i I don't know. I was kind of hoping that we would like hang. All right, look, I'm getting off track. We've been here for a minute. Like ah so you can turn into a scythe and someone can swing you.
Speaker: And like if they're connected to you, then like that's fine. Like you don't get hurt. Mm hmm. Okay. Okay. Well, that's cool. um So gravy was it. what So what do you do? Like, are you comfortable to fight monsters? Are you okay? Like, I can't pay you right now, but like, I can ah try to bring some stuff in. but Like, what do you Do things? don't need any money.
Speaker: Yeah, well, I can fight things because I have fought things like nightmare demons and, you know really bad. um Just like things that want to attack you in your sleep and ah before you die um And so I have to protect that soul from that kind of thing. So i am constantly fighting things. It's fine.
Speaker: Although i really i really just want to be the world's greatest actress now. But if I have to fight, I guess I will. Okay.
Speaker: Well, um you know, there's this movie Obsession that just came out. So this like girl, I think her name's Indie, is really blowing up. So maybe we can make an indie movie together or something and... like you know, maybe that'll make you famous. Because like now everybody, what they're putting her in Marvel stuff. Do you guys have Marvel where you live? It's huge here.
Speaker: Marvels? What's that? It's kind of fun. Marvel. It's a company that tells superhero stories. Bill, you have that in Blue Earth, right? You have Blue Marvel? No, it's just Marvel. They branched out. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah we used to have like Miles Morales and he's not like Blue Miles Morales and all that. Yeah.
Speaker: wow that is so cool how some things transcend universes. Yeah, we love Cat Wars. recall reaping a few souls from some movie.
Speaker: i i believe they said they were in a Marvel movie. This sounds familiar. i'm going to have to check my archives. Maybe when maybe when Asgard blew up. Oh, man.
Speaker: um Anyway, I don't know what how fiction bleeds into other worlds, but that's so interesting. Okay, so you finally, I also, by the way, Nightmare Demons, I actually talked to a few of them to help me crack the code.
Speaker: You know, they gave me all sorts of really great advice on how to do it. um But then we lost connection or something. I don't really remember. I was mostly asleep at the time. um Yeah. Are you sure that that was a great advice that they gave you? Because I know quite a few of them and they probably lied to you.
Speaker: did they i did Did they ask for money? No, they didn't ask for money. They they kept wanting me to, like, bring samples of people. And so I thought that meant like hair,
Speaker: or blood and i was like you know i could get blood and you know then my wife started thinking i was like too into she thought that i was going crazy yeah we don't have to talk about it but yeah essentially yeah he told me i the payment that he wanted was just like samples from people you know one time i robbed a uh i robbed a clinic to get like some urine samples he seemed really excited about that um So what you're saying is, is I need to take you to the court of Ravens because you gave the nightmare demons samples of people so that they can haunt them. Come on, come on. you don't need
Speaker: We don't need to snitch on our and our job maker. Yeah, I'm with Bill. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Bill, you and me, brother. Rules are rules. and I'm broke so yeah I understand that and I need to pay rent because that's the rule also yeah that sounds like a you problem and not a we problem yeah and then whatever he's got going on that's not a you problem either no I just showed up here
Speaker: Okay. Anyways, gang. Buster, no more admitting to any kind of – if you think he did something that could be interpreted as bad, we don't need to hear it. Okay? Okay. Yeah, sure. So I shouldn't talk about the sacrifices. Do not talk – no, I didn't hear anything about sacrifices. Me either, dude. It was a movie. You're talking about the sacrifices you had to make to get here.
Speaker: In Minecraft. Financially. Yeah. In Minecraft. Okay. Okay, cool. So here's the thing. Does anybody know how to, well, Bill, what, like, what are your specialties, man? Like, what do you do?
Speaker: um I look around and I, I see like his roof is leaking a little bit. Yeah. And, um oh, I do this and I point at it and then i literally just wave my hand and I freeze the leak.
Speaker: Oh, is that going to melt soon wait? Yeah. So you need to get that fixed, but I stopped it for like, you know, a little bit. Is that cryokinesis? ah No, it's just like frost. You just say like frost magic. It's not really.
Speaker: Oh, I guess cryokinesis would be a better word, but we don't know. We don't call it that. Oh, hey, I want to use your language, man. So if that's whatever you call it is what I'll call it Oh, just, yeah, just, it's just like a magic. i don't know. It's water based.
Speaker: Water based magic. Yeah. Oh, like in the avatar. This is, this really isn't anything special. So yeah. It's special to me. I can't do that. No one on my planet can do that. And I know. of No, um they can.
Speaker: Yeah. Not that you know of, but yeah, like this is for us, it's, this is like learning to walk. So it's like, I'm not that special. Okay. um Okay. well i just Well, here's the thing. That's really good to know, and I don't know how you're going to use that to kill a monster, but what I do know is that a lot of critters came just blasting through here.
Speaker: You guys all just kind of appeared here, but at some point, these little windows opened up out of nowhere. These little just... I don't know. What are those things called in submarines? or little circle windows.
Speaker: You know, it looked like a circle window. um And all of a sudden, these just these balls of just, you know, like when you take a picture, sometimes it looks like there's a ghost in it and there's like little floaty balls.
Speaker: It looked like those. And they just came like different colors, purples and greens and yellows blasting through this little circle hole. The moment I cracked the liminal code and then it just stopped.
Speaker: No, the Nightmare Demons I summoned on that pentagram over there. um Yeah. So they had to talk to me from there because they couldn't leave that spot.
Speaker: So which was kind of annoying because like I had to bring all that stuff to. I'm not supposed to talk about it. But yeah either the way, no, they they were here first. They're already on this world, apparently. So.
Speaker: Yeah. Keep an eye out for that. Yeah, i don't I don't know if that was a Nightmare Demon, man. Maybe it wasn't. I don't know. That's what he told it was, but what? I think he got scammed.
Speaker: By like someone who wants my data? Yes. Or human sacrifices. Fucking wicked. ah You know, I try not to judge. Everybody has their kinks, right? So, you know, but look, here's the thing.
Speaker: I know that there are already monsters. This is something that Sierra Corp doesn't want you to know. But I know, after doing all of this, that we already have monsters on our planet. So, and apparently...
Speaker: Sierra Corp and some company named Oculus are usually trying to take care of those without minute with minimal casualties and people knowing that they exist. But I know now, which is how I was able to know what came in here.
Speaker: So you might encounter monsters that already exist on our world and where they come from. i don't know. But... I don't know how the current beast will interact with them either. just want you to know that I have like an idea of what came here, but I don't know what the fuck's already been here.
Speaker: So is that cool with you all that you might just encounter some really weird shit? a Yeah, i mean, yeah, we're just- did sign up for an adventure, so I guess.
Speaker: I'm used to weird. Do you think you're the only one who does this stuff? The only one who does what? to some Weird shit. Well, I don't.
Speaker: Well, i I kind of was hoping I was special because I was. No. All right. um I mean, I know this. reers Yeah, I'm sure. All right. shot in way Well, you know, I know that I i like I said, I know Sierra Corp does their own thing in Oculus. Like, I don't know what they do, but if they're sending people to hunt monsters, they must have some skilled people. But I thought maybe I was like the supreme sorcerer or whatever. I mean, do you look at what I did?
Speaker: He shows you his hands and he has like no fingerprints. His skin's like all discolored and stuff on his hands. And he's like, i went through a lot of stuff. Some of the skin's not even mine. Like, really thought I I really thought I cracked. I mean, I did crack the code.
Speaker: I cracked the code. And he like kind of like he starts to like wander off, just walk away from you all for a minute as he's just like, yeah, I did it. I cracked the code. I am special. And he just like meanders off into another corner of the room, like disassociating for a second. So you guys are welcome to do what you want. Talk, investigate whatever you want to do. He's just dissociating now.
Speaker: ah Bill, that Bill, I'm Bill. Buster, they're two Bs, man. I get confused. Bill Buster, Bill, whatever your name is. Yeah, i I'm the special one. I want to shake. I want to take some water and then splash it like in his face.
Speaker: ah Yeah, that'll do it. He just like stops and touches the side of his face. He goes, I made that happen. I'm wet because of me, but not because of me.
Speaker: Yeah, technically, yeah. Yeah. So good job. What do need us to do? Hi, Bill. It's been a while. um ah Did you guys kill that monster? No, you never told us about a monster we had to hunt this week.
Speaker: Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Okay. Okay. So just FYI, we are in my basement. I have a cabin out in the middle of fucking nowhere. I don't even actually, if I'm being honest with you, I don't know where we are because I just teleported everything.
Speaker: All of it has just moved to the most remote place I could find that like I could well that I could think of. So I just pictured like ah i looked at a painting and it was a bunch of trees in it.
Speaker: And now I'm in a bunch of woods. So I don't know. ah ah like i don't have any way to detect where these monsters went. I'm hoping there's some here.
Speaker: I don't know. um But ah ah guys, I've never done this before. I was hoping you could help me figure it out. I thought you were a supreme sorcerer.
Speaker: Yes. I mean, I am, but I mean... can you just like, may I check the monsters away?
Speaker: no i can I mean, not yet. I'm still learning to do things. Can't you guys? You can apparently teleport between worlds. Why don't you should just be able to do it, right?
Speaker: Go take them all back home. Take them home with you. You can keep them and sell them at your house. Fine. Fine. Fine. I'll ah put them in my basement.
Speaker: Great. Bill, do you want to take any monsters home?
Speaker: What? do Do you want to take a monster home with you? No, I don't want a monster. what are you talking about? Enough of those. OK, well, maybe one of the monsters came from your world. I don't know. ah You know, it's possible. Anything blue?
Speaker: i don't know. I mean, one of the some of the lights were blue, so maybe. um i don't rock. Do you do you want to you want a monster? You want a monster? A little pet. I can show it to her parents.
Speaker: Oh, but that's so great. Oh, cool. Great. OK. All right. So we're all in agreement. Monsters equal bad. OK. All right. So. All right. You know what? I'll tell you what. Does anybody here know how to do magic aside? Well, I guess you froze the water and you said you're a grim reaper.
Speaker: So I assume you guys have some sort of magical abilities, right? if i mean. Limited, I guess. Well, that's more than what I could say before I tried doing all this shit. What about what about you, Bill? Like you, you can do magic.
Speaker: e Yep. Okay, how about this? What if we all magic at the same time, okay? And we create some sort of way to track these monsters and to get to them.
Speaker: You know, like, do you guys, let's let's brainstorm. We're a team now. We're a team. want to do it You just want to do ah a tracking spell. buster and Buster and friends, activate. Yeah. ah You know, where they? Again, I don't know. i don't know how to do this.
Speaker: But maybe a tracking spell, maybe a teleportation spell too, because I can't remember what page I was on. My bookmark fell out, so I don't remember what page I was on that teleported my house. Okay.
Speaker: Can I just look around the room? Can Bill look around the room and just use you know his his like eyeballs first to see if he notices anything? ah that might have been caused by blue lights or something. that I don't know what he's talking about, but yeah, are you trying to get off? That's like obvious that this crazy man is not like.
Speaker: yeah Do you want to roll a ah I guess an investigative mystery? Yeah, I do want to roll an investigative mystery. okay yeah, let's see what you get. First roll of the game. Carol post weird. No, I'm just kidding. Are you sure?
Speaker: Oh, I missed. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're on a snake, guys. Plus one. Woof. Well, Mark Experience, welcome to Failing Upwards, folks. All right, dude. I love this. I love Mark Experience.
Speaker: Yeah. So you you look around and it's just it's just a fucking mess. Like, they're you, just because you're attuned to some kind of magic, you can tell very easily that he has clearly dabbled in a lot of different kinds of spells that he clearly doesn't know what he's doing.
Speaker: And, you know, even again, you don't see anything because it's just a mess in here. But you would you can tell just by your own observation that this guy has probably cooked part of his brain.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, from obvious all of this stuff. So he is probably trying to be sincere in what he's trying to tell you to do. But there's definitely some disconnects that just do not make sense, but make sense to him.
Speaker: How about we all go to the center of the room, put our hands together, just concentrate really hard. Maybe that works. Yeah, man, fuck it. Y'all want hold hands?
Speaker: Yeah, it it will work. We could do a tracking spell. It's just, you know, I figured we'd try to just use our eyeballs and our brains first. That's way less effort. I might have an eyeball left to give you. and You have to Oh, okay no, no, separate ones. We don't need any of that. Let's just...
Speaker: Because an eyeball makes sense, right? It sees. That's smart. And like, again, you see his beard and his hair start to static, elect you know, like little sparks flicker through his beard. And then like you see the pen starts to float, the bookmark or the book starts to float again and writes like eyeballs equals finding eyeballs equals tracking spell, like just big letters all over this notebook. I want to I want to unfreeze the the leak in the ceiling and then.
Speaker: Have it drip on his head. I have a drip on his head. OK, but like I mean, like throwing his face, really. It's sure you do it And he just he just goes he he like he like kind of comes to again, bookmark or the book in the notebook fall.
Speaker: And he goes, oh, yes. So did the dispel work? Did we do it? You're losing your mind, man. You're losing your mind. yourre Your brain is tripped. No, no, Bill, you're fucking with me. That's a weird style of humor, dude. But OK, let's let's figure this out. OK, let's all hold hands. I call a goth chick and um ah scythe. I want to hold the scythe and goth chicks in. OK.
Speaker: but name he's recently yeah He's reaching out his hands. He's like, grab him. Go ahead and grab him. I've been holding them this whole time. oh my God. And like you see, just like just like immediate blood from his nose again into his beard. He's like, OK, cool.
Speaker: Be cool, Buster. Be cool. His hands are like all sweaty and palmy or out clammy. um And so he goes, all right, Bill, get in on this, buddy. Is this going to be blood magic? i I don't know. Well, i guess technically.
Speaker: What, Bill? No, you don't need to do blood magic. yeah all right, can i roll like a plus weird or something to? Yeah, so we're going to do big magic together. I see. So everybody can roll plus weird.
Speaker: And then ah before you do, don't roll it yet. um Let's just set, even though this isn't really like a monster of the weak mechanic, but if a 10 is a perfect, then um we'll take kind of the average of what everybody gets and then kind of see where we go from there.
Speaker: So all three of you will roll big magic and I'll probably I'll add a plus. Well, let's say a plus two. know, I'll roll for Bill separately. Fuck it. I'm just going roll a straight roll to D six because his magic's all over the place.
Speaker: So he's kicks us off with an 11. He rolled a six plus five without any sort of bonus. So he's already like summoning some hot shit fresh off of someone you guys here. So you want to try to get something close to that to keep like a perfect spell going.
Speaker: ah So everybody can roll plus weird at the same time. Damn it. I rolled exactly 11. Dang. but nine Bill with an 11. Rock with a nine. And Grady with a four. four That's going to bring down the average a little bit.
Speaker: She was distracted. you Because his hands are so clammy. Yep. OK, so the average is an almost a nine. So you guys got a mixed success on your ah big magic roll together, the four of you.
Speaker: So we're going to go around the ah the like I'm going to say the table, even though we're not at one. We're going to go around the virtual table and I want all of you to tell me something that you think an optimal base camp should have, whether it involves transportation, ah tracking, um literally anything you can think of that you think would make this a successful base camp for you to leave and come back to when you do your mission. And you can all pick something that you want this place to look like and to have.
Speaker: um And we can compromise if it gets a little too stupid. But for the most part, I'd say most things are on the table, the virtual table. So, um David, you rolled the highest of the three of you, so I'll let you go first. What is like as you cast a spell, whether you're tracking like we're going to say just as a byproduct of you doing this, it's like also just re outfitting this space to be better suited for a command center.
Speaker: That's what that's what Buster's thinking when he cast the spell. OK, it has food and water and it doesn't leak. ah So. that shoulder so So it is a leak, a leakless. Is it leak proof or just leak less? Well, it's just yeah, there's no it doesn't leak anymore. those All right. That's good.
Speaker: A leakless ah broom and it has just an infinite supply of food and water. And so not necessarily infinite. I don't want to live here forever, but like, you know.
Speaker: Well, maybe, maybe whatever refrigeration unit that it has will will just create more food for you when it's needed. We make Buster get us more food. Maybe. Yeah.
Speaker: OK, so you have food, water and no leaks. Is there anything else that you want to add to that? um Yeah, Bill's while Bill's thinking about that and he just kind of like he washes away all the weird shit on the wall, like the weird pentagrams and stuff. And oh, shit, that's a good call, actually getting rid of all the dema the the demonic stuff. Yeah. i Well, while Buster's the strategy just starts kind of cleaning up.
Speaker: Okay, cool. All right. So you got food, clean water, ah no leaks, and all of the demonic stuff is just being erased from within this room.
Speaker: um And there's like a tiny closet. Like the size of like an RV bathroom, like back in the day, like back in the seventies. So it's like teeny tiny, but it's like one of those curtain closing ones, you know, with the accordion door.
Speaker: Sure. and and I have a plan for this. Don't worry. There's two of those. And Bill is taking a lot of the crap because I'm assuming Buster just loses his fucking mind. And, you know, this takes like an hour or so. So like Bill gets bored.
Speaker: Um, and he's, he just starts cleaning and he take, he shoves everything into one curtain closet. Okay. Cause it's a fucking, it's a mess in there. Right. So he's, I love it. i think it's great. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. All right. Smosis, Rock, what is your next on the list? What is something that this command center should have um as you guys are casting this spell to make this a more efficient place to track this um place? Definitely needs a forge because it's a forge. Yes. Okay.
Speaker: Because if I do end up finding a partner in this world, I need a forge. Okay. Describe the forge a bit. Is it like a little small forge like in the floor? Is it just like like ah a space? It's a pretty big space. It can be kind of decorated however you want. Is it just, is it a rather sizable forge like you see in a video game? It should look like forge you could find in White Run in Skyrim.
Speaker: We have like a big forge. Okay. Big ass, hot ass forge that like somehow exhausts itself into the ether so no one suffocates in here or roasts. That would be preferable, yes.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. It's just like a magical forge that take that it is a self-maintaining magical forge. um Yes. That's fun. Anything else about the space, aside from a forge?
Speaker: Anything else? Yeah, anything else you can think already have the basics of food and water, no leaks. think that's pretty good. Yeah, food. We all know the food, water, no leaks. That's like on the periodic table of elements that we we need.
Speaker: um All right. And then finally, Gravy, what is something that this place should have? You've mentioned your little accordion closet door. um is What else would you like to see in this place to make it efficient for hunting monsters for your new team?
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: I would say it has like one of those like spa sized bathrooms and it has like all the, um, like a, it's a sauna, but it's like not fancy. Um, but it's like a big locker room, shower bathroom situation.
Speaker: OK. ah Yeah, you have a big old sauna slash shower slash locker room. um And, you know, there's some there's some foosball tables in there as as well and just other fun stuff to do. ah There's a little gaming center.
Speaker: um It's just like its own little hyperdimensional door that. Yeah. When you walk in there, I just got like the most hilarious visual in my ring. What was it having a game room in the shower?
Speaker: yeah What are you thinking about? Spending a job playing around in a fucking towel and nothing else playing foosball and all you hear is Oh my Gravy behave yourself Oh my goodness Wow guys this is Welcome back to roleplayers My brain just went way off Welcome back. Very mature here. Very mature. Yeah, this is rated M for I for immature.
Speaker: um Okay, so we have all of these fun things. And weirdly, you do hear that clappity clap inside of the room already. Yeah. As there's like a manifestation of, there's a manifestation of Buster playing against himself um at the table. it' how He's in there playing with himself. um Literally. so Oh, fuck.
Speaker: And then, yeah. So you see also a manifestation of like a bunch of screens just kind of pop up everywhere and you see kind of like this cylindrical looking, uh, I wouldn't say the cylindrical, but like there's a couple of cylindrical looking machines. And in between it is like a large platform that shows up in the center of the room.
Speaker: Uh, and like big, very gaudy, disgusting looking letters. It says teleporter misspelled. Um, And ah all of a sudden you see like a couple of floating eyes that Buster just seemingly takes out of his pocket and floats up and then just like blasts out into the ether through like these kind of like interdimensional portals that quickly shut behind them.
Speaker: um Then you see as the spells on being cast, and this whole room changes. His eyes like are just like this kind of like blue, green, purple swirl, just constantly moving and like like a ripple as if somebody chucked a stone into a pond.
Speaker: um And then like all of a sudden he just stops and is um and you see every bit of blood that came from his nose that went into his beard and stained it red sucks back up into his nose and like his beard and is is clean.
Speaker: And all of a sudden he's wearing pants and his lab coat is fresh and all the SpaghettiOs stains are off his shirt. um And he kind of holds onto his jacket a little bit and he goes yes, I would say that now we're all looking a bit more professional, don't you think?
Speaker: And he looks around. Huh? What? a new man. Oh, did I change who I am again? ah What's your name? What's your name? i think so.
Speaker: ah My name mustard is What did you say it was? Muster. Muster? Yes. is that what Is that how I introduced myself to you all? I remember meeting you. I'm pretty sure your name's Dave.
Speaker: My name's Dave? Yes. Yeah, your name's Dave, right? Dave Muster. That sounds right. Yeah. They call me Dave Muster or Muster Dave. I'll answer to both. Your name's Buster.
Speaker: Buster. Dave. Dave. Buster Buster Dave. No, is that my name? i No, your name is just Buster. We don't know your last name. Oh, I know what your last name is. I was calling him a Buster.
Speaker: You're Miff Buster. Oh, like Buster Rhymes. He goes by Busta, though. Like Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Blue Edition. Oh, nice.
Speaker: So he says all of a sudden his eyes like light up again and they go into like a blue swirl and they just start rippling, like kind of like like a sonar, almost like a brrrt. And he goes, oh, shit, we got one.
Speaker: And all of a sudden you see like he points his hand to one of these screens off on the sidewall. And you see that there are news reports of just somebody was driving in their car and just there was a crazy wild accident on the road where a car looked like it exploded, but there was no fire, no explosion.
Speaker: Just as someone was driving, all of their car parts just flew off into traffic. um And then they just like skid on the road and just like are in the hospital right now. Like you can see a lady on their screen is you know reporting, you know, the victims are in critical condition in the hospital right now. Like this is an unexplained disaster.
Speaker: um And Buster goes, I know that's one of them. I know that's one of them. One of what? One of the things that I let in. It's a Tesla. oh no Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, yeah we there are. I did check to see. I thought that maybe it was one of those cyber trucks, but it's not. That's pretty normal for that to happen. Oh, you're right. No, they but they would explode. They wouldn't disassemble.
Speaker: Right. Yeah, that's true. um And then the Ford, you know, like a Ford on road dead.
Speaker: Ford. Oh, do you guys want a Ford Raptor? No. she um so you see he ah he points to the screen again and like the volume increases and it's you hear them like bystanders just saying like you know we're we're waiting to cross the street and all of a sudden just every single piece of this car just looked like it turned to shrapnel like within just a moment everything just fell apart and it made a really loud squealing sound and just all of a sudden these poor people were thrown onto the road and almost got run over but the car is behind them
Speaker: um and no one can explain it. they're showing pictures of it like they're quarantining or they're sectioning off the road. Police are on the scene and like the camera zooming in on just it looks like every single piece of the car, like from the door to the trunk to all the inner workings to spark plugs, everything to the wheels.
Speaker: Everything looks like it has just been like busted down to like the very basic components of what it can be as it was made. Like screws, pieces of sheet metal, anything that was attached to itself completely dismantled.
Speaker: um Nothing is intact. Like if something broke, you would still see screws and things and bolts attached, but they're all removed. They're all just laying in a pile on the floor or on the road. Yeah.
Speaker: And that's probably the thing I'd say sticks out the most as it zooms in is that like while everything else is in a mess, the the nuts and bolts are in a pile on the on the road.
Speaker: yeah Maybe it's time traveling. It's setting back the car to ah how it's been created. I'm not ready. I'm not ready for time travel. Oh, I'm working on it though.
Speaker: Bill, did you, what did you say? ah said it's just a Ford. But a four doesn't do that. you me try to find another one? You don't think this is it? Did the spell not work? Oh, all right, I'll stop making jokes.
Speaker: Did the spell not work? No, the spell works just fine, buddy. You did great. And I pat him on the back. Oh, thanks, man. And like, as you pat him on the back, you feel like a little kind of purple jolt of electricity kind of touch your hand for a second. Oh, geez, you have no control over this. You are dangerous.
Speaker: Are you talking to me? Are you talking to my little talking to you, Buster? are you talking to my static bolt back there? Because that's staticky. ah He hangs. He's that's just where he hangs out. What? That's staticky.
Speaker: Say something staticky and like nothing happens. He goes, oh, well, now he's shy because we're talking about it. All right. Buster, take off your shirt. Huh? Take off your shirt and your jacket. Why?
Speaker: Let me see your back. You want to look at my back? Yes. me see your back right now.
Speaker: You are manipulating doing some crazy shit. you can excuse's He's going to resist you a bit. He's like, I don't know ah if if I should. I haven't even seen my back. how Why should you get to see it first? Well, I can hold up this mirror right here and show you your back.
Speaker: ah You can well manipulate someone to see if he'll show you his back. I'm not trying to manipulate him. Oh, all well, then he says, no, I don't want know. I mean, I'll try and I fail. So I get some more experience. you get Another experience when he rolled a six. That's right. Yeah. He says, no, that's weird. I just met you. Is this like a weird like blue world thing?
Speaker: No, you are doing some some bad shit here, and you are... You know, I took this job. I took this job because I thought, oh, this might be a guy who maybe... it sounds like he's pretty experienced. He's got a handle on things. He might be able to give me more work and eventually maybe even pay me.
Speaker: But it looks like you're just out of your goddamn mind because you're a divorce, ah you're in a divorce and And you're just a danger to this whole planet right now. Like you're this whole universe, you're just a danger.
Speaker: No, I'm the savior. I'm saving all of them. Ours and yours probably. oh yeah. if So he grabs onto his jacket, his lab coat, and like rips it off his body and transmutes it into pure solid gold. And you could see his arm is straining to hold it because it's so heavy. And he throws it on the ground towards you with a loud like...
Speaker: He says there, there's your payment. Are you happy now? No, because that's fucking transmuted gold. That's dangerous. That's bad for the economy. You're just manip... Look at you. Look at what you're doing.
Speaker: You're lying to people. So you don't want the gold then? Did I just transmute my shirt for nothing? Can I transmute it back into the jacket? Can you do it? I don't know. Do you have that ability to cast transmutation magic? Can I try?
Speaker: Is it has be honest, has he done transmutation before? Yes, but not. He has. But he but let's be clear, not gold because that's illegal.
Speaker: What have you transmuted before? um Water into wine. OK. All right. I'm going to say, you know what? Go ahead and give it a try.
Speaker: i We'll just I was going to put a negative on it, but let's just do it. You put a negative on it. What do you want I was going to say at least a negative two, because he he own magic to do that.
Speaker: So you're having to untransmute his magic. got a seven. which puts it out of five. So it's another XP for- no I put a minus two on the- Oh, you put a- Okay. So you got a seven. So you- What does it look like when you cast a spell?
Speaker: um I would say that- So basically, from it's a little bit more of a history with Bill, right? On his planet, people use magic like like breathing kind of right or like, you know, like opening a door or something. Right. It's it's a very common thing for them. So they're taught like at a young age on how to actually do basic stuff and more or less like everybody has some, you know, proficiency in magic from where where he's from. OK. So to him, when he sees that he's not impressed at all. Right. He's impressed by none of this. Right.
Speaker: And so he's he thinks that Buster is just insane right now. And what he just did where he transmuted stuff in a gold, it's like that's bad for the economy, whatever. Right.
Speaker: So. um Bill, just he just basically kicks it. He just kicks the bar. He kicks it and trans tries to transmute it, tries to transmute it back into a jacket. Yeah.
Speaker: OK, I'd say I'd say you kick it and. What happens instead of a full retransmutation back into what it was, it's now you've kicked it and it like turns into like cloth again and it's just like a gold lined lab coat.
Speaker: Yeah, like the inside of it is like made from gold, but infused into the fabric. Yeah. As opposed to like it just being a solid block of gold. OK, well, you know, i'm not I'm not great at transmutation magic or whatever, but yeah, that's.
Speaker: Look, you you can't be doing stuff like this, OK? That's. Yeah. You're just off your you're out of your gore, you're off your you're off your rocker, man. How did you do that on purpose? That was awesome.
Speaker: And you used your foot. Yeah, that's I'm and I'm not good. I'm not good. like But where I come from, this is, you know, you got to understand this is common. So. OK, well, then maybe I should come to your world.
Speaker: Probably, but it sounds like you should all go to your world. No, I'll go to the blue world. No, no. Leave this earth to die. Exactly. See, we he's already caused such a problem here. We need to we need to fix this.
Speaker: Well, right. So, well hey, hey, hey, rock. um So do you ah can I just ask, are you trying to are you trying to are you trying to get with a trying to get with gravy over there or or what? I'm not trying to get with anyone right now, really.
Speaker: i mean, I kind of do, but I've only really just met her. So, but it's not like serious.
Speaker: Serious how? Like, you know, like you're not like going steady or anything. Like I said, I only just really met all of you, so I don't really know at all, really.
Speaker: So you're saying there's a chance. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. All right. Well, you want to help me hunt monsters here, right? Yeah. I mean, I came here to like get some new experiences.
Speaker: So, yeah. Okay, cool. All right. Then I'm going to help you all out. I'm going to... I have a teleporter here that will take you exactly where you need to go to go find where I am sure there are monsters.
Speaker: And as you, you know what? I'm going to make this legit. I'm going to reach out to Sierra Corp and Oculus, and I'm going to work out some sort of contract with them. So that way, if we catch the monster before they do, we get paid instead of them. The contract goes to us. Then that way it's legit money. And then Bill, right? Then that's okay with you. Yeah. No, no. Look, you know, I said I was broke. I need money. We all need money, right? and Everybody needs money. I don't really need money. love money.
Speaker: Okay, well, some of us will need money, some of us don't need money, I guess. But as much as I need money, I don't want to mess with Sierra. Well, no, I'm not messing with them. It's just a contract, see?
Speaker: If we take the contract at the same time that they do, we get paid if we do it first. So it might be a little light competition, but if we do it, we get paid, and it's legit. that?
Speaker: Is that that works? Yeah. Is that how that works? Or do they just come in or, I don't know, arrest us or capture us? Well, no, because they don't have any authority outside of contracting with whatever city wants it taken care of. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: you believe that? I don't know. they have They have offices all across the world. Uh-huh. And they do all kinds of operations you're not aware of. Well, I know about some of them because I talked to ghosts and demons who told me about it. Okay. All right.
Speaker: Yeah. Did you know that underneath Oculus, there's like a some sort of like Russian ghost that's trapped under there and they use them to give him advice and stuff?
Speaker: That's crazy. Yeah, that's not unheard of for large corporations to do that. Yeah, they built it around the guy where he died so they could use him for counsel because he can't move.
Speaker: He's stuck there. Isn't that insane? Yeah. Can you reset him? No, we can't visit them because Oculus doesn't know that I know about it. Okay, so clearly you know some stuff. You've forgotten how you know some stuff. All right, sure. you know what if i know Give him a call and we'll go out and investigate the site.
Speaker: Okay, awesome. So then I'll teleport you and then I'll give you guys. I need to give you something that so you can get back. I don't know what that is.
Speaker: yeah Can I just use own teleportation knows magic. He can just teleport us back, right? Bill, can you teleport everyone back? Yes, but it's it's ah it's a big magic roll.
Speaker: Okay, how about this then? i He says, you know what? Here, you know what? just Just because I'm trying to help, he takes up his leather jacket and he transmutes it into just like these little gold coins.
Speaker: And he says, hold on to these and just flip it up in the air when you want to come back and then you can cast your spell and that'll like remove the big magic thing you need to roll and make it little guy magic.
Speaker: And then you can teleport using this gold coin. How about that? And it'll bring you right back here and only back here. What do you think? That sounds really convenient. I'd be happy to use that.
Speaker: It's so convenient because I am the supreme sorcerer. Will you make my heart shape so I can carry around your heart?
Speaker: um And you see he like waves his hand up to his nose and the blood is just like he makes like a seal so nothing drips from his nose. And he goes, yeah, of course. um Yeah.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden, like a leather jacket appears on his body as he like comes over to your gold coin and just like traces his finger on it, makes into a little heart. He says, you didn't mean anatomically correct, right? You meant like, you know, like a cookie heart shape.
Speaker: Of course. OK, yeah, because that would gross me out if I made a gold heart, so I'm not ready for that yet. um But yeah, anybody else want their shape, weird rock? Huh? You want want me to shape yours? How about you paint it in the shape of a rock?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sure. Yeah. So you won't be able to flip. it You just have to throw it in the air. you just have to throw it. OK. Yeah. um So he just like he just like picks up like a rock um just from like a collection he has. He has a rock tumbler and he looks at and goes, ah this is probably fine and makes one just kind of like a little lumpy, little lumpy piece of gold for you.
Speaker: Bill, last call, bud. You want you want you want fun, fun shape coin? No, I don't want fun shape coin. Okay, fine. um Okay, well then hop on the teleporter and I'm gonna send you guys wherever this is. um ah ah Hey Gravy, what does it say on that screen there as I put in the coordinates?
Speaker: What is the city that it's in? Um, yeah I don't know how to read. Fuck! What? You can't read anything?
Speaker: The city hasn't died yet. No. Not to learn how to read in Reaper school. God, that makes sense. I just had to reap souls. I didn't need to read. all right, shit.
Speaker: Okay, ah Rock, what does it say on that screen, buddy? Can you help her out? I think that says München. München? München. Is that in Germany?
Speaker: i don't know what Chinese to talking about. Fuck, you're right. Shit. I don't either. um
Speaker: All right. Well, I guess you're going to wherever Munchin is. Is that true? Can you spell that, Ruck? Can you spell that for me? That's an M-U-M-L-O-T-U-N-N-C-H-E-N. I you, That's an interesting. OK, so we're leaving the country for sure. OK, got it. Right.
Speaker: Yeah, you guys.
Speaker: oh I guess you guys are going to Bavaria, huh? that sounds That's Munich. No, that's Munich. Shit, that's not Munich. Shit.
Speaker: OK, make sure you type it in correctly. Like, do you even have that on your keyboard? I did. doesn't have that. He doesn't have that character. Oh, it's a jerk. Guys, I looked it up. It's the German name for the city of Munich in Bavaria. It's the same place. Yes.
Speaker: ah OK, so I'm not crazy. You guys are going to Germany. This is going to be great. Don't worry. The moment you step to the teleporter, you'll understand everybody perfectly.
Speaker: So why was the local news playing a town and showing us a town in Germany? Because it's local to them. yeah They had American accents.
Speaker: Because I wanted you all to understand it.
Speaker: Trust me, when you go to my Germany, you're going to see they're very American over there. it guy mad I bet they will be. official It's just like if everyone had to an accent. Everybody is going to be American. I'm telling you you're going to go there. Germany is practically America now. and We've invaded so many countries. where Greenland is ours. You guys don't know that? You guys have Greenland where you are? We're near the American base.
Speaker: Yeah, we're near the American base in Munich, Germany. It's a whole thing. All I know, guys, is I believe in you. um We can come up with a team name later, but we're just going to call this Buster and friends for now.
Speaker: Buster buddies. No, we can't. No time. So go ahead. Hop on the teleporter and we're going to send you guys to München, a.k.a. Munich. in Bavaria and it's going to be a really good time. And I have a feeling that this guy here, Rock, he's going to he's going to really know what's up there.
Speaker: I have a feeling I will. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to make a lot of friends there, buddy. So you guys want to get on a teleporter then and and and be off? No, I guess.
Speaker: Let's do that. Let's go. ah yeah at least At least one of you sounds excited.
Speaker: so I'm happy to get... I teleport myself. bill Bill teleports himself out. He just hops on. Just blip! Yeah, there's like no big fanfare for it or anything. The moment that Bill gets on it and like breathes like a sigh that he's ready, it just goes blip! And he's gone.
Speaker: He's just not there anymore. um And ah ah Buster goes, yeah, I'll fix that. I'll work on that so it looks cooler when you guys do it. So that's some cool magic.
Speaker: Yeah, sometimes magic isn't flashy. It's just... You know, it's it's just functional. and And that's okay, unless you want fireworks. But anyway, Gravy... Maybe I take back this teleporter thing, and then we can also have this teleportation magic.
Speaker: You want to do what? Take back the teleporter to my world, and then we would also have this teleportation magic. Hey, listen, man, if you want to steal any of ideas that we have here and take them back to wherever it is that you're from, I don't have a patent on this stuff.
Speaker: I'm just trying to watch out for all of the worlds. And if I can do that and I could be the god of all worlds and provide teleportation for you and all of your people, then it would be my honor.
Speaker: And I can't wait to to provide that for you. Actually, you know what? I'll work on another one while you guys are away.
Speaker: Does that sound good? I don't teleport it. Yeah, send another teleporter your way. but That way you can. Yeah, I'll make it a pocket teleporter so you can take it with you when you go back to your world. Ooh, sounds cool. Thanks. Yeah.
Speaker: Just don't teleport your Wang if you have one. I don't know if you do, but if you do, don't accidentally teleport your Wang. grow one of those, yeah. ah Like on a tree or bush or plant.
Speaker: That's dope. I'd love to learn more. I'm going look into your world. I'm going to take another peek into your universe once once you guys leave. So hopefully I'll know more by the time you get back. OK, I'll be off then.
Speaker: All right. Gravy, do you need anything before you head out?
Speaker: No, maybe like a granola bar or something to snack on for later. Uh, yeah, man. Uh, you know what? Uh, I actually have a drawer full of them alongside some gummy snacks. If you just want to grab a few real quick.
Speaker: Um, perfect. You know? Yeah. Just go ahead. Yeah. But they do have, they do have, uh, uh, they, they're not like meat free. They're not the vegan kind. So I don't know if if that offends you or not.
Speaker: It's fine. Okay, cool. Yeah. Because they got gelatin in them for sure. That's the good stuff. It definitely is. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, hop upon the teleporter and then just, you know, think about being ready and it'll teleport you to where you're supposed to go, to Munich, Germany.
Speaker: She kisses him on the cheek and goes on to the teleporter. And he goes, whoa, OK, hey. Ah, yep. Yeah. Have fun. He turns away, wipes his nose.
Speaker: um And you see just like a bunch of tissues come out of the tissue box nearby and just follow him as he walks around the corner. um And you guys hop aboard the teleporter and you poof away to Bavaria, where, yeah, that's fun for me. to figure out. um And hey, you know what? Ordinarily, we would end the episode here, but I'm trying to be better about telling people stuff this new season on Roleplayers. So instead of a dramatic ending, I just want to say thanks, everybody who's listening. Welcome back to the show.
Speaker: ah Thank you, Smosis and Cass and David. And we are, you know, we have a Ko-Fi. If you want to support the show as we boot back up, just go to ko-fi.com slash fun installers. That's where it is. If you want to Support us and join the FunInstallers server and come and hang out and do game nights with us.
Speaker: And if you go to funinstallersnetwork.biz, we have a new messaging page right at the bottom of the page if you want to send us a message, give us suggestions, maybe tell us characters you want us to see in the show. We're going to be all over the place, probably going to universe hopping soon.
Speaker: There's chances to name characters. And then finally, we have a store on there. We have a brand new store with some cool shirts, days of the week shirts, a shirt that just says bucket on it, which is really funny. We also have shirts that just say what color they are. Like, this is my orange shirt. This is my blue shirt.
Speaker: They're silly, minimalistic, but people so far seem to really like them. So if you want to grab a hold of those and support the show, we would really, really appreciate it. And of course, thank you for, ah you know, listening and sharing with all your friends and let them know that Roleplayers is back.
Speaker: And um I think that's it. Anything else I'm missing, folks, before we sign the fuck off? Nope. Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick this year. That's right. No, you can be a dick to certain people.
Speaker: Oh, that's true. That's true. That's true. Be, be, Dave, how do we, how do we say that? Be, we need to have a good sign off every episode now. So be the right kind of dick.
Speaker: Right? e Sure. If you're going to be stupid, be smart about it. If you're going to be stupid, be smart about it and punch Nazis with your whole fist. Thank you. Yes.
Speaker: Yes. You owe me a Coke zero. Ah, I have two those too.
Speaker: Doesn't it good already?
