Transcript
Speaker: All right. you know, we just had a lovely conversation, so we got a little bit of a funky energy today.
Speaker: yeah so good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. Ladies, gentlemen, I'm Vaughn and every folks at Universal 909. This is Roadplayers, and welcome back to Episode 2, Liminal Cove. Of course, we're in Germany. and This is how Germans talk. No, that's not true. Although, however, last time what happened on the show, we were introduced to Gravy and Bill and Rock and And they all were from different universes and they met Buster Gray, the guy who summoned them there to help him eliminate and capture monsters that he accidentally unleashed into their universe.
Speaker: um And they got themselves a forge and some other nice things. They got a teleporter that Buster used to teleport them to Munich, Germany in Bavaria, if you can fucking believe it. um Thanks for that, Adrian. um So just, you know, real quick. um Let's just ah do you guys just want to get into it, get into it or do you want to introduce your characters? or Do we not do that anymore? I don't remember. It's been a little while. it's not the first episode hit episode. so why don't we just recap, you know, with the characters, right? Like. um
Speaker: Like how im playing a blue guy named Bill, he's just like he looks like Kif from drama, but he's just like. Take the hue for his skin. Turn it blue. Yeah. And he's not wearing a military uniform. He's not wearing a red. He's just wearing like, you know, fucking like khaki pants and like a polo or i don' I don't know. But like. Right.
Speaker: Right. Like business cash. No, bank casual. Bank casual. Right. Right. um Yeah. And he's a wizard like guy, like a water wizard. Oh, yeah. He is a water wizard. How'd you know?
Speaker: ah Because we talked about your character before we started the game. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I looked at your character sheet. um And then there's who else? There's Rock, right? Rock from the... Tell us about Rock real quick. Remind everybody who Rock is.
Speaker: I was just thinking Bill should have like a belt with like two W's water with it. oh that'd be cool. Right. um Rock is a guy but that's bald and has blue eyes and he can turn into a scythe.
Speaker: and turn into a scythe. And that's what we know about him is he's just a scythe boy who, yeah, who might get other markings as he matures as a scythe. Indeed. And he's still very like immature and naive. Is his name Mark? Is that what you said? Rock. Rock.
Speaker: Oh, Grock, not Grock. Okay. Yeah, not Grock. Yeah, let's not get back there. Wrong podcast. A-O-C-H-E-O-C-H-E-O-C.
Speaker: And then we have Gravy, Cass's character. Tell us real quick again about Gravy. ah Gravy used to be a Grim Reaper who um decided she didn't want to be a Grim Reaper anymore. She wanted to be the world's greatest actress. So she left that world and then ended up in Buster's world somehow.
Speaker: What does she look like? She's like a tattooed goth chick, right? Oh, yeah. She's a really hot tattooed goth chick. Yeah. So enjoy it. Whatever that means to you, you know yeah um All right. So you guys all stepped onto the teleporter from Buster's place and because he showed you a news ah feed that showed that there were cars that were driving on a main highway and then they just kind of seemingly just dismantled and fell apart.
Speaker: And ah no one could explain it. There was all sorts of crazy accidents. People are hospitalized. They rolled around on the ground. So he was like, oh, that's probably one of those little monsters right there, dude. um So he sent you guys in your teleporter and he gave you a couple of rocks that you could use to teleport back home.
Speaker: And he said, onward. Say what? Including me. Right. So there's four rocks. There's three he gave you and and the one that went with you already. um So and you a heart-shaped one.
Speaker: Yes, that's true. You do have a heart shaped one. um I think one of you guys have a nugget shaped one or something. I can't remember. um You guys all got some sort of weird shaped one. um It was fun.
Speaker: So you guys are all now in Munich, Germany, and you have landed and a really great time because the there's a you're in the middle of what appears to be a festival.
Speaker: There's bright lights and music and people are dancing. um You see colors all over the place, just all across the rainbow spectrum of light. um you know You see hot dog stands and sausage stands and bratwurst stands and ah lemonade stands and all sorts of little shops and pop-up shops and and craft shows and things that are going on. and People have their cars out, their fancy cars.
Speaker: um Some of them look like real kind of American muscle cars. Some of them look a little bit more kind of You know, electric vehicles, some of them look like they're kind of more, you know, what you guys would probably assume is foreign made because you're not from around here.
Speaker: um You know, so there's all sorts of fun to be had. And there's a big banner that's flying over the city right now on an airplane, dragging it across the city.
Speaker: And it says International Accent Day. um And then there's another plane that flies by with another one. It says, but it's for a week. It's
Speaker: really convenient for you, Adam. I know, right? That's crazy. I'm so glad you guys landed there during the festival. Yeah, it's really you lucked out. Yeah. I got real lucky. Otherwise, i I had to do German stuff this whole time and that would have been a disaster.
Speaker: um And you can't have two Germans on this podcast. That's true. We can't have that many. um Three is right out. um So we you guys find yourselves in the middle of this festival and you see everybody kind of dancing around and having fun. And there's it looks like there's a concert that's getting set up pretty soon. um What do you guys do? Take it away. What do you want? what do you want to do? What kind of? ah Are there any other blue people here or do I stick out like a like a blue thumb?
Speaker: I'd say right now, as far as you can tell, you're the only blue guy here. yeah. yeah yeah All right. Well, see what happens. So you are the blue thumb. But do you do see people who are in different kind of costumes and stuff as well. So while maybe your skin tone stands out a bit, like because of everybody just kind of being in very eccentric outfits, it probably isn't really anything that anybody's going to pay that much attention to.
Speaker: So it's convenient. That's really convenient. Yeah. Welcome to the the week long international accent day. What kind of ah sites? I want to go like see site. Are we at the Marienplatz? You are just right outside the Marienplatz, except it's pronounced Marienplatz.
Speaker: Right. Oh. Are those nails? Yes, you see up on the balcony, there's a couple of like little snails with blue backpacks on and big stocky eyeballs. And they go, welcome tourists!
Speaker: Welcome to the week-long Accent Festival! Have fun, enjoy, and merriment! That's good, yeah? um And ah yeah, everybody's like cheering as they speak into the microphone, and they cheer, and they go back to their business. So you're right outside a giant...
Speaker: the this massive ah kind of touristy looking building that has tons of windows and balconies and there's like little um tables and tents all around it where people are setting up shops and there's artists and and kind of ah lots of fancy imagery and and stained glass it looks like a giant repurposed church that you would think like you know maybe the mayor once lived in or something I don't know
Speaker: so yeah maybe he does still right now Maybe he does. And so, Bill, to your question about seeing the sites, um you see just ah this snail guy is just chucking out programs into the yard for people to catch.
Speaker: And they have maps and and touristy ideas and places to take pictures. He's just throwing them out. So, yeah. and So you have you see have but you have a map in this thing. He just threw all of you. You have a map.
Speaker: Where do you want to go? This place actually doesn't look that different to my home world. Would you look at that? Do you guys want to go to Frauenkirch 1 or Frauenkirch 2?
Speaker: i don't know. Maybe you should go to Frauenkirch 1. What do
Speaker: but what do there? It kind of looks like that one is just like, ah does those look like angry people out front, like shouting at the other people across the street at the other one? Like, that's...
Speaker: Do you hear it from there? That's troubling, right? Yeah. Yucca sucks. No, Yucca sucks. ah It's Kirkgaard. Are you sure we want to go to Angry Mob?
Speaker: ah No, I'm not sure, actually. Yeah. like You're the seasoned adventurer, so what do we do? ah Well, all right, so what's our mission? We so we have to go to like a highway or something, right?
Speaker: Right, you did say something about a highway and cars being dismantled and something about a monster, I think. Yeah, mean, could probably just ask somebody because it seems like I tapped somebody on the shoulder, he's walking by. Okay, what does this person look like?
Speaker: I don't
Speaker: know. It's an Australian woman. Is an Australian woman? Yeah. Yeah, she's wearing. So what does she look like? perfect chair Perfect. shit i so she also like painted. I thought you have like red skin.
Speaker: No, no, she's not painted. She's probably just wearing like a fun hat and maybe a a kangaroo backpack.
Speaker: um I tap her on the shoulder as she's walking by. Excuse me, yes. a Good day. How can I help you, Squire? Did you hear about that thing that happened on the highway? The car that got dismantled or something? Are we the right...
Speaker: dismanled or something is that areea thorough right Did that happen around here? Did you hear about that? Have you heard about this? Oh, i haven't um I haven't read the news or got the notifications on my phone of such things. Also, I love this. All of your outfits are just so interesting. What parts of the world are you from?
Speaker: See, I'm Australian, and but I'm trying to be a little something different right now. Oh, I'm from, ah I'm not from, I'm actually an alien or whatever you call it. Yes, of course, an alien, because we're all aliens when you're not from here. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Right. I'm also from Australia. Yes. You're really an Aussie as well. That's so interesting. What accent are you choosing here? I'm choosing the ah Australian accent.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. i was going to say it's perfect. You mean Austrian? I was really trying hard on that. Wait. Yes. Did you mean um did you mean Austrian or Australian? um The first one?
Speaker: Austrian. Ah, yes, of course. Like Schwarzenegger, right? Of course, yeah. That guy. I'll be Bach. I'll be Bach? Yes, you'll be Beethoven.
Speaker: Cool. So... Do you know about this car? I don't. I haven't got my notification on my cellular device. But I can tell you that, um... You know, news travels fast, so I'm sure if something...
Speaker: about a cut wait actually i actually don't know what you're talking about but if it was a bad news we don't know about it right so it's good news do we need one of those like smartphones uh bill has a smartphone Is it is it ah is it on is it on the network?
Speaker: The nation's number one 5G network. If I have a, you know, inter interdimensional roaming or something. You want to. make Yeah, that you're being charged every minute you use it.
Speaker: That's right. I mean, yeah. but Yeah. Yeah. It ain't free. Yeah. So, yeah, but you have to get on their their Wi-Fi. You have to get on the Marion Platts Wi-Fi.
Speaker: ah Can I do that? Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll connect. to The password is Guten Morgen. All right, I type it in how it's how I think it's spelled.
Speaker: How do you think it's the O with the two dots above it or something, R-G-E-N.
Speaker: That was wrong. yeah But in this world, that's right! It's of course, it's perfect! How is it spelled then? Austrian man? C-U-T-E-N M-O-R-T-E-N So I was really close. You're close, there's no umlaut O. There's no umlaut.
Speaker: Okay, I took out the umlaut and tried again, and then it worked. Yeah, it worked perfectly. um And you have 10G internet, 10G Wi-Fi. 10G internet. 10G. Yeah, the Germans are really good at engineering internet and stuff. So there's like advanced shit.
Speaker: So it's really different to real life. Yeah, it's so true. You download a game like in two seconds. Right. It's crazy. You hear somebody behind Gravy and he goes, wow, I just downloaded a game in two seconds. This place is great.
Speaker: They're playing them on their phones. Yeah, they we do have games on our phone here. Maybe we should take all of their phones back to a home. We don't have to cool phones like that.
Speaker: Yeah, well, let's let me just ah check the highway name that the the thing happened on and I searched up like car disassembly, plug that into the AI or something, and you know.
Speaker: Yeah. Plug it into the AI. Yeah. And I try to get my name. The AI says it's still like in like beta testing. So it says some of this information close it fully accurate. I close it and I end this joke. I end this joke immediately. And I just use that search.
Speaker: You know, where I come from in Australia, we we started saying instead of good hey we'd say good AI, right? don't. You don't say that. Yes, we love it. Yeah, i good AI.
Speaker: She's right. Yeah. yes I don't think Adrian remembers where he's from. ah That's very cool. That's very cool. Oh, hey, you know what I just thought of? You said you're an alien, right? You might want to go to the Aliens Arena and check that out.
Speaker: You know, hear they're doing some sort of cosplay battle over there. Is there money involved? Can I win prize money? Yes, yes. the The winner of the tournament wins 2,000 euros.
Speaker: that some like a lot That's a lot to me. looked 2000 euros to blue dollars conversion. It's like 40,000 blue dollars. Holy moly. I pull the team in. I like huddle the team together.
Speaker: Look guys. Look, listen. Yeah, we have a side quest now. What's quest? What's a side quest? What's the side quest? Oh, sorry. i We're going to win 40,000 blue bucks so I can pay my rent.
Speaker: What do you use blue bucks for? To pay rent, buy food, live. Well, they're going to give us 2,000 euros. I you few bucks. i have I actually have no, no, I show him my bank account.
Speaker: And it says zero dollars. Zero blue dollars. Okay. So you probably need those. Really badly in I don't think this guy Buster is going to pay us. but Okay. so Like.
Speaker: Well, let's take care of the car thing. He won't. God, I'm serious. I took this job because I was so I was just desperate and I thought that, oh, maybe if I go home and work for somebody, you know, for free at this point, maybe he'll pay me in the future, you know, I'll be like Goodwill or something or you recommend me.
Speaker: Mm Yeah. The employment situation where I'm from is like really really bad you know so so that's your chance you gotta take that yeah so we need it let's do the car thing because it does something there's something dangerous right right sure so we should help everybody but then we gotta do that side quest okay let's do the side quest okay how how dangerous though because this thing is disassembling cars Oh, okay. Okay. I mean, just as long as nobody dies, i just, I just can't, I can't deal with that right now.
Speaker: Right. Maybe we should like do the main quest for the Dinosaur quest. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, we're doing the main quest first. Keep the viewers. and I mean, the satisfied buster and then. Right.
Speaker: OK, yeah, let's stop talking about it and let's get hunting. You know, let's get to get done. OK, yeah. Yeah. So you you guys are going to Aliens Arena or you're going to but you're going to go hunt the the monster first. We're going to take care of the main scenario first. OK.
Speaker: I hope to see you at the Aliens Arena. Then the way back, we show up to the Aliens Arena. I freeze everybody in place. Take the prize money. It's GG.
Speaker: I like that plan. That sounds low-key illegal. It's a fight. It's... all right. You might not be from here, but that probably is illegal.
Speaker: I don't think so. I mean... Shenanigans. Shenanigans? Shenanigans. Shenanigans. any connection If someone says shenanigans one time.
Speaker: Shenanigans. We don't have those here. can i We don't have shenanigans here. ah ah Look.
Speaker: All right. Let's. Okay. Look, I found the article. It says this happened on the Autobahn. right I don't know what they're typing.
Speaker: And what's the road? Where did it happen? I just trying to figure out. It happened on Autobahn 1. Autobahn 1.
Speaker: yeah dude ah This is unlistenable. yeah What? That's what it's called. that's good oh Like all the different highways are just numbered. So that is accurate. Okay. All right. It's like Route 66. Autobahn just means the highway. That's all it is.
Speaker: yeah audubon just means the highway yeah that's all it is Well, do they give a location? So I just want to go investigate the scene of the scene of the crime. ah Yeah, it's the article that you found that all of a sudden everybody got bing buting bing bing bing. bing be You see like everybody's phones light up in their pockets or in their hands and they go, oh, oh, no. Oh, Charlize. Oh, no. um And so everybody sees that and goes, huh. And then they put their phones away and go back to dancing and merriment and all that.
Speaker: um So Audubon one is ah right north of Olympia Park. On your fancy little maps, it's towards the northeastern part of Munich.
Speaker: That's legit. That's for real. That's real. That's where that is. I'm blind with Olympia Park on this map. Olympia Park is in the northeast, the top right of your map. see Where you see the big steeple, it looks like the the space needle up there. There we go.
Speaker: German space needle. Yeah, the German space needle, which is way better and taller and more efficient. Right. Girthier, too. Yeah. Yeah, and you can see the sign from where you are. It's huge. It towers over, casting a big shadow over Aliens Arena off in the distance. And it just says, ah suck it, Seattle, on it. Right. Wow.
Speaker: wow So, yeah. And so ah you ah you see the article and it says that's where you have to go to investigate. It says that there was a ah several car pile up after one car just kind of fell apart.
Speaker: And several people have been rushed to the hospital um and medics are on the scene and cleanup crews are on the scene and they're helping people. ah Well, this is this was just about like maybe 30, 40 minutes ago. So like they're rushing people, and they're still in the midst of cleanup on the highway right now.
Speaker: So you guys want to try and get like bikes or like public transport? Or how do we get there?
Speaker: I mean, we could go the transporter. That's fine with me. It's faster, less walking I have to do Right. Yeah, let's take a... Take a train. Can you also look up if you found something maybe you can, like, get away from here?
Speaker: Yeah. How do you you have one of those? I don't have one of those. Oh, wait. Yes, I do. And she, like, pulls it out of her pocket and, like, she pushes a couple of buttons. But if you look at it real closely, it's like a kid's phone. And it just makes a bunch of random, like, beeping noises. Oh, hold on. I have a phone call. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah Oh, hey, Ronald. i think you should this I think, you know, i think I am free for that movie.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. i don't all Ronald, I said no but No frontal exposure. No.
Speaker: Okay. ok Thank you, Ronald. I will talk to you soon. And make sure that they get my trailer correct, okay? Okay. i go Okay, bye, Ronald.
Speaker: a rb Okay. um So you guys are going to have to look for that. Are you talking with the Muppets? What? but but No, I was talking to my my agent.
Speaker: That's not even a real phone. What are you talking about? It is a real phone. let me see it. No, it is my phone. Now go find your thing.
Speaker: my thing are you talking whatever it's like whatever the thing is that we're supposed what ah did you what did you call it again a a train this train there's probably some kind of public transport that we can use as well people yeah get around all right we uh we walk there there's an app that you can buy tickets on your phone um so how that works you don't just it's not free ah No, they have they they have free, but you still have to quote unquote buy them so they know how many tickets they quote unquote sold. I got to walk then because I'm literally have no money.
Speaker: Yeah, but there's zero dollars on the app. you just they just want to know how many people rode the train. Oh, OK. They're tracking how many people use public transportation so they know if they should still keep it free next year. OK.
Speaker: Yeah. OK, you do that.
Speaker: You've purchased three tickets for free. Come on down to the train, just south of the Marion Plouts. What? Excuse me, I'm still working on my accent. Happy International Accent Day Week.
Speaker: is Let's go to Olympia Park then. ah All right, you guys head to the train south of Marion Platts. um and You hop aboard the tram, and when as you hop on there, it's like a little bullet train. It's incredibly fast. It pulls up almost cartoonishly quick.
Speaker: Stops, lets you guys on. You see it's all automated. There's just like a... The steering wheel moves on its own and you hear, welcome to train.ai. Please choose the seat. All right. this Bill jumps off. Bill just jumps off the fucking train. you're going.
Speaker: you You land on the ground and the ground goes, welcome to ground.ai. We try our best. He's done with this joke.
Speaker: Okay. No, ah for real though. That's, that's fine. Pro, though, the train goes, welcome to train.ai. Please shoot the seat that is the most appealing to you and sit your butt firmly in it as we will go very fast.
Speaker: Is there a seatbelt? Yes, there are several seatbelts. Please push the seatbelt button. I don't want to push the seatbelt button. Push the seatbelt button and a bunch of seatbelts deploy from the ceiling and the floor and behind your seat.
Speaker: um So you each have about six seatbelts each. like Wow. iist six I'll give you some of my seatbelts gravy. I think you need those.
Speaker: Why? i don't know. Kind of seems like dangerous, I think. To have six of them? No, to be like on a train.
Speaker: I thought it's like really fast. So you probably need more seatbelts.
Speaker: I mean, I could steal the ones from in front of me, I guess, and use them. I mean, or just strap me to the ceiling like a baby or something. I don't know. Right. That's an idea. Let's do that.
Speaker: is You guys do that, right? Year ago. did Please do not strap babies to the ceiling. ah It probably has had happened before. i know i so tight It violates about 15 different laws, especially during International Accent Weekday.
Speaker: That's some really weird like laws. Right. That's all we do in Graveyardland.
Speaker: Graveyardland, you say? Yeah, that's why it's called Graveyardland. What do people do in Graveyardland? They die because they put their babies on ceilings. Well, no, that's where all the Grim Reapers live is Graveyardland.
Speaker: Sounds like a theme park. Are we moving, Adam? um i just It's fun. That's why we strap babies to the ceiling. It's safer for them there. Yeah, as you guys are talking, you realize like there's already a sign that lit up green that says you may exit. Welcome to Olympia Park.
Speaker: that's i stop Thank God. Yeah. but i don't care All right, we exit Olympia Park. That was fast. And you hear, thank you for not strapping babies to the ceiling. Enjoy your stay at Olympia Park. there's no way there's There's no way that was pre-programmed.
Speaker: It wasn't pre-programmed. I learned from the data of your conversation and then learned how to respond as if I were a human. Do we blow up the train?
Speaker: No, we don't. Please do not blow up the train. Why not? I don't think we want to get into trouble here. Yeah, we don't want to get into trouble here. What do I care? I'm a Grim Reaper.
Speaker: well i mean I mean, you're not in your graveyard land, so you need to pay attention to lots of other places. I'm not a Grim Reaper. That's boring.
Speaker: Oh, God. i mean, it's like as you guys get off the train and you're chitty chatting, ah you do see off on the other side of Olympia Park way beyond. I wouldn't say way beyond, but you see the highway beyond Olympia Park where you can see those like flashing red and blue lights and, and um you know, ambulances and stuff ah in Germany. They call them ambulances.
Speaker: And what? what <unk>kin wrong No, that's not right. It's not a honkin' von. It's a ambalanche conch? Ambalanche conch? Isn't it spelled like honkin' von or some shit like that? No.
Speaker: Oh, it's not. What? what It's a cranlin wise cranking wagon. It's a cranking wagon. It is essentially cranking wagon. That's what it is. Yeah. I thought it was cranking van, but it's cranking wagon. Sorry.
Speaker: Yeah. The cranking wagon or the ambulan, whatever you want to call it. Oh, hey, it looks like there's an ambulance over there in some police cars. call the epinocono that's too fucking funny for me i'm gonna be stuck on that all right can we walk over there we're learning so much um Yeah, you walk over there, but Olympia Park is huge. It drops you off. That's one of the sites that the train stops.
Speaker: um So you see Olympia Park ah and it's like this big kind of um kind of slanted structure with the big space needle. and As you get closer to it, you notice the space needle looking thing is more. it looks like a giant fucking like halberd that's like pointing in the sky. It looks just like a big like mid medieval weapon.
Speaker: And here's somebody goes. Yes, in fact, it is made of metal. um the the The space halberd is at least 400 meters tall.
Speaker: You guys would have needed a big forge for that cheese. hold on A big who with a what? A big forge to build stuff. No, well, it was made of a bunch of smaller halberds, you see.
Speaker: Okay. That must have taken a really long time. It did. It took minutes. That's about 1300 feet for our dumb American audience. Yes, it's 1300 American feet.
Speaker: Depending on your shoe size, it could be about 1600 American feet somewhere in the palm park. Or if it's dark, it can be even more. Yes. Now, if you'd like to enter into Olympia Park, I'd love to give you a tour. ah My name is Farfik Nugan, and I am the tour guide here. And I like to show everyone, you know, inside is where all of the great medieval weapons of of Olympus have been forged and stored for our upcoming battle in the Aliens Arena.
Speaker: That sounds cool, but i think we're kind of busy right now. Oh, bother.
Speaker: What about you? Oh, oh, you! With all of the the tattoos, how tribal, how cool. you that You must have taken forever on your outfit this morning. You look like you could be the star of our upcoming show in here, where we need someone to show off all... Yes, the star the star, the one that, you know, the one that shows off all the weapons, kind of Vanna White style. Oh, sign me up. Yes, yes, absolutely yes. I don't even care if I get paid for it or not. Yes.
Speaker: Oh, it is paid. you'll you'll make You'll make five euros an hour. oh It's my big break. Ronald, I'm sorry. You're going to have to cancel that that movie. Sorry. and but i' I've got a gig. I know. I'm sorry. Bye.
Speaker: hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Don't say anything yet. Listen, buddy. What? We're not going this for five. Okay, well, that's the... Well, okay. You know what? I can haggle a little. How much? Fine. Six.
Speaker: No, we want twelve. Twelve? Yeah, we want twelve. That means I can only hire one model instead of two. point out minimum wage. I put minimum i point to my phone. I go minimum wage Germany. Right now. Okay, fine. You got me with national Um...
Speaker: um You know what, just for shits and gigs, roll manipulate somebody. and It's $13.90.
Speaker: You're close. Fine, roll manipulate someone to see if he'll give you minimum wage for the job. That's what it's called in this game, right? that's co Yes. it's It's been a long time since we've played. I think it's plus charm.
Speaker: That's a seven. They'll do it essentially if you show them that you really mean it. So he'll go. He goes, fine. I will give you 15 an hour for the job, but I want both of you to pose at the same time.
Speaker: Two of you have to come. And you can figure out how you split the money. You better keep your hands to yourself. Who, me? Who are you talking to? No.
Speaker: The one who's doing it with me. Oh, that's between the two of you. Or the three of you. That's fine. I don't care. Okay. well I need to at least hire two models. One of you will not be paid.
Speaker: My guy's a little chubby, so he's like, i don't think I should be a model. So do I just go to the bridge and you guys do something else? No, I want to solve the damn car thing first, and then we can do this.
Speaker: Well, it's it's currently two German o'clock, and the show starts at four German o'clock. So you have two hours to come back here and report for Job.
Speaker: Listen, buddy, make it three and we got a deal. Fine. Five German o'clock. Did you say something about German cock? That's later in the after hours show.
Speaker: Keep your hands to yourself.
Speaker: That's when we expect all of the biggest pervs in all of Bavaria to come to the show. We call them Das Perven. Alright.
Speaker: That's great. I leave. Remember, five German o'clock sharp. You have to be here to show off the weapons. Look at me. look at look i don't I don't have any money, so do we'll be there. Don't worry. worry Excellent. i have money to spend.
Speaker: I can tell. well not that much. But yeah. one i just I'm just cheap. That's all. Right. And it's nothing wrong with being a bit cheap. Yes, you get it. A businessman.
Speaker: i mean, he just finds random women and goes, oh, i love your tattoos. You want to come work for me? Great guy. Yes, it's very hard. There's not a lot of tattooed people in Germany. False.
Speaker: go the street and there's another one. Well, I mean, on this side of the street, there's not a lot of den people on this side of the street. right And I can't wander far from my post.
Speaker: ors Oh, is there a post sticking out of the ground? Yes, he's sitting on it. Oh, shit. Okay.
Speaker: I see. Well, don't follow us. I wouldn't. I can't. I'm on my post. Yeah, I know. Yeah, don't don't follow us. Okay, I won't, but I'll miss you. Miss you too. You should come here.
Speaker: But we'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. All right. Five o'clock German sharp. Right. Yeah. Five o'clock, buddy. really shot up Yes. Okay. Well, have fun doing whatever it is you're doing. And then he goes back to sitting on his posts and he shouts at someone else. goes, you would be perfect as a free model. Did you know that about yourself?
Speaker: I don't like that guy. He gives me some bad. so doing this side quest from earlier would be very much lucrative than doing this, wouldn't it? Okay, but again, that's a side quest. We have the main plot to resolve.
Speaker: Yes. I hope you all will keep track of your side quest because I'm not. It's the same one, isn't it? Do I ever keep track? was going to say, somebody better take some fucking notes. picking mental notes.
Speaker: That's perfect. I'm just going to write side quest. And then that's it. We'll remember what it is later. Okay. So you guys go past, you walk past the massive Olympia park where there's just scores of people crowding around, waiting in line to go see the attraction.
Speaker: And you see the guys changing the sign to 5. PM instead of 4. PM when the show starts. ah So hear some other people go, oh, that gives us time to go to the traditional cafe. And some other person's like, yeah, I would like to go check out Frauenkirky 1 and 2, see which one's better. um You know, they're kind of making new plans. um And so off you guys go towards the Autobahn 1, the very first Autobahn they ever had.
Speaker: um And as you approach, you see that there's lots of police cars and cranking wagons all over the place. um And you see a policeman steps up and he goes, he goes, he Happy Internet. Nope, that's not it. Happy International Accent Day.
Speaker: Happy Internet Day. Happy Internet Day is tomorrow week is where we celebrate our 10G Internet connection. um Oh, yeah. That sounds are cool. ah well Yeah, it's freaking badass.
Speaker: But anyway, um welcome. and But you can't come any further than this on account of we're having an active crime scene. so Yeah, we're ah we're still here to investigate, actually. What are you guys with? How? how but You look like you're not with the police at all?
Speaker: Right, right. and So we ah specialize in investigating the paranormal. they' like Right. What makes you think this is paranormal?
Speaker: Well, have you seen the video? Nope. right, I'll show them the video. Wow. You guys are investigators of the paranormal. that Yeah. I thought there was a dash cam or something with the car disassembling or something.
Speaker: ah No, there was just as some... yeah Yeah, that was probably it. I don't know. I just started today. my God. This is my first major case that I'm trying to get good so I can go and be a detective. You know that the car just disassembled itself.
Speaker: Cars don't disassemble itself, mate. Right. That's why all we're here. That's what did. And you see his eyes just go wide. He goes, of course, they don't disassemble themselves, mate. You got it. God, you're fucking smart.
Speaker: Can we can we can we check out the site? I really shouldn't let you, though, unless you talk to my superior officer. But he's he's on coffee break. So I suppose you have a couple of minutes. You want to sleep around.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. I love those. Good. Thanks. I really want to roll an investigative mystery roll. You can, since you're going to the crime scene now. is that this that what call okay is that was that Is that the requirement?
Speaker: I mean, you can investigate a mystery for whatever. Are you trying to... let me I'm sorry. Let me ask the question differently. What are you trying to investigate? ah What sort of creature is it? That's the question I'd like to ask.
Speaker: like About the guy you're talking to? i want to be at the scene. and I want to be able to like smell something. I don't know. ah well If you want to investigate the actual scene, he's walking you over there now. so yeah You can absolutely do that.
Speaker: That is what I want to do, yes. Sure. You can roll plush shot up for your investigative mystery. let All right.
Speaker: That's a six. And I was feeling you're getting to mark XP, right? Yeah. you Right? Yes. Yeah. your mark x So as you're looking around, you can see like there's a few other police officers that are kind of like taking pictures of the crime scene. They're putting down those little yellow markers.
Speaker: um You see the cranking wagon has somebody in it like but they're sitting like on the edge. Is he kind of with an ox? Yeah. They're cranking in. the They're cranking out oxygen from the oxygen tank in there. You see there's a there's a medic.
Speaker: Yeah, there's somebody sitting there ah with another individual with an oxygen mask on. They look like they are very shaken up. um So while he while um Bill is investigating the crime scene, ah Gravy, what would you like to do
Speaker: She is. Going to be.
Speaker: She's going to be looking in a hand mirror like perfecting her makeup. oh Okay. ah For her modeling job that she got. That's very fair. um Why don't you roll? Why don't you roll plus cool to see how well you do that while all this noise and, you know, kerfuffles and stuff is going on.
Speaker: four. Four. Yeah. You're like gussing with your makeup and stuff like that. then you hear like somebody. I put way too much Somebody leans on their horn and you like smear your lips for a second.
Speaker: you know me And you hear somebody go. can't let up all of you. I I have your makeup. Sorry. Do you have a handkerchief? Because now I need one.
Speaker: That a hunk. Hunkerchief is what we call it. edit jay But I don't got to. But I can give you a shit.
Speaker: Give it. You over shit? you have a shit What? I have no idea what you're saying to me. He takes off his over shirt and like gestures to hand it. goes, do you want to get my shirt? I don't know how to do.
Speaker: How dirty is it? I mean, it looks like he's been wearing it, but it's not filthy. It just might smell like a dude, but she takes it, wipes it all off of her like lips and then tosses it back at his face.
Speaker: He holds it out and goes, I'm going to go sell this on Craigslist. No one uses that anymore. What did you say? and No one uses that anymore.
Speaker: yeah they use They use German Craigslist. It's Krogg and Liston. um frank Krogg and Liston is very popular right now.
Speaker: It blows up during the festival day week um because people want to like resell interesting things that they purchase. um but so Miss Connections also blows up a lot on there people are always trying to find other hot people that they saw there's already one being written about the tattooed goth girl at the festival that someone's trying to find um so Rock Rock what are you doing while she's fixing her makeup and ah Bill is poorly investigating the crime scene I would try to help Bill with investigating the crime scene you also want to roll an investigator mystery yes go for it
Speaker: I'm rolling sharp. Rolling plus sharp. You got a seven. I believe that gives you one question you can ask, my friend. Then I want to ask the question Bill wanted to ask. What kind of creature is it?
Speaker: What kind of creature is it? Um, so as you get close to the crime scene and you're kind of looking at the different car parts and such, again, you could, you could see it better upon, uh, investigation up close than you could on a TV, but it's very clear that just like, you can see the big pile of bolts and stuff that are in the middle of the, of the, like piled neatly.
Speaker: Um, you can see that there are, um, ah Panels and stuff pulled off these cars. Like everything is brought down to the finest, most simplest parts that you can see.
Speaker: um But you notice that um that under kind of like the rubble and everything else, there is just like the tiniest little. um ah Like wrench that looks like.
Speaker: Probably not usable by most people or somebody with really tiny hands. um Looks like maybe like there's like a bolt left behind that they haven't found and piled yet. And underneath all the rubble, some guy's picking it up and he kind of like accidentally kicks it across the ground real quick. You can see just this really baby little w ran ah wrench um that something with small hands must have had his hands on to use.
Speaker: um So that's probably like the only clue you could probably determine right now of what what could have potentially done it is based on the size of the tool. Right. um And that it must have been something small.
Speaker: So i pick it up and I run over to Bill. Here, found the world's smallest wrench. Oh, that's interesting. I found it inside the car. Oh. Inside the what?
Speaker: Well, inside the pieces of the car that were underneath it. So inside the pile of the car. Oh, wow. So that probably has something to do with it, right? Do you think it does? Do you think, like, they have this in the car? I mean, my answer would Like, the people around here don't really seem like they would have, like, small tools like that.
Speaker: Maybe they were, like, small sentient rats or something that disabled the car. Well, like, what's the biggest bolt on the car? Like, that's got to be, that's the, you know, like, it has to be at least that large, I guess, right? Like,
Speaker: That is something interesting that you look at is that like you're right. The the size of that wrench won't at least it shouldn't but based on what you're looking at, shouldn't and probably wouldn't fit most of the other bolts and such.
Speaker: um And I would say rock just as an extra little thing, the little bolt that the guy accidentally kicked along with the with the wrench. It it also does not fit that.
Speaker: How weird. so were Wasn't it, was it on the, was the wrench on the bolt? hit No, it was just laying near it. Oh, okay. Does it fit any of the bolts here? I mean, you could try and see. Are you going to go up to like the pile of bolts and nuts that they have in the in the middle of the road with a little yeah evidence sign on it?
Speaker: I'll take either neutral one and I'll try it. Yeah, you go over there to walk over towards it and a guy stops you and he goes, hey, hey, hey, you can't be touching anything. You got to at least put on gloves. What are you doing?
Speaker: That's a good call. Thanks for reminding me. Do you have gloves? Yeah, this is my first case. what do you I'm trying to get detective. You can't just do stuff like that. that's That's good thinking on you. so Yeah, that's that's right.
Speaker: Thank you. Can you give me gloves and I can like help you like game promotions or whatever it is? had ah I don't know. I'm starting to think you guys aren't paranormal investigators if you don't even know to put on gloves.
Speaker: You know, to be honest with you, i'm also kind of new at this. So please let me like do this thing because otherwise I'd be like embarrassed that I don't really do my stuff very well. All right. can i Can I ask you just a quick little question, man to man? Mm hmm.
Speaker: Why did you guys bring that punk rock gothy chick over here? She's like, doesn't look like as much of a uniform, you know? And she's, uh... You know, that's a very fair question. I'm starting to run it up myself. No, here, let me answer that. let me answer that. Uh, yeah, she's a Grim Reaper.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, right. I mean, for the festival, I'm sure. But, you know, we all still have to dress up as cops. No, no, no, no, no. Like, that's... That's really a Grim Reaper. And this guy can transform into her weapon.
Speaker: I don't know what you're talking about. Can you demo this, Rock? Can you just...
Speaker: You're telling me this guy can turn into a scythe or a weapon, and I assume it's a scythe if he's the weapon for the Grim Reaper lady. That's what you're telling me? Yeah. you show him, Rock?
Speaker: I mean... ah do you not want to Is that like something you don't do in front of other people? No, no. Why are you telling other people? It's not a secret, is it? Like me? Like I can do... least stand old like that should what do you what What do you mean stand out? this isn't but What do you mean? i guy Like I can do this and like I just... um I take like a puddle and fucking pull the water out of it and like freeze it in midair or something.
Speaker: Oh, cool. Like I could do that, like it's it's not a secret, and you know know. I can do that, too. Look. Yeah, no, I can't. I don't know what I thought was going to happen. I just thought maybe if I said I could do it, I could do it, too. Sorry.
Speaker: It's interesting. So, yeah, you know what? I've seen people of, um you know, a long time ago, we saw somebody from Oculus do something like that. And I just thought it was some sort of smoke and mirrors thing. But if you can do it, then maybe that stuff is real.
Speaker: Maybe all those conspiracies on TikTok are right. Oh, yeah. I thought you'd know about all that because, you know, you're supposed to be investigating some kind of. Monster. Well, no, we no one's told us that this was supernatural yet. You guys are the first even mention it.
Speaker: Usually Sierra or Oculus are on the case by now, so I just assumed you guys were fucking crazy.
Speaker: maybe We are not crazy, and we do not work with those people. yeah Wait, so you're not with Sierra or Oculus? No, we're independent. Oh, boy, they're not going to like that.
Speaker: That's all right. Hey, I just want you to know, it it would behoove you a long way if you just pretend that you are, because a lot of these guys have worked with them before, so i don't know if they're going to work with independents.
Speaker: I don't want to piss Sierra or Oculus off. You're already going to do it, man. No, we're not. Why do you say that? We're not impersonating them. I'm literally telling you we're not.
Speaker: We're independent. But if you do, but but you're already here and you're on their turf, you know, that's kind of their thing. So if you're telling me you think this is supernatural and those guys aren't here to investigate, then I'm thinking that maybe you're treading on their turf.
Speaker: OK, well, if they show up and ask us to leave, then we'll talk about it with them. All right. We had some kind of thing disassembling cars on the highway. Well, now you say that, I'm all sorts of, I'm all sorts of, you know, a little unnerved, so.
Speaker: That's all right, man. You got this. No, I just thought this was. You know, and we're going get to the bottom of this. You want to look good, right? You want to have a good first investigation, right? Right. yeah Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Of course. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. So. You know, come on, man. You got this. I give him a pat on the back. ah No. ill go Okay. Cool. I'd, um. cool i um should we um Should we check in with you with you with your lady in the mirror over there, or is she good just being alone? Is she alone? I don't know. Yeah, she hasn't really—I'm being honest, she hasn't been much help so far. shit.
Speaker: But I'm sure she's good in a fight if we get into that. I don't know. Some of us are better at battling. Some of us are better at sleuthing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm not good at any of that, I think.
Speaker: But that's all right. We're still going to get our best, right? Yeah. I mean, that axe on her back looks like she could probably swing that thing pretty good. You seen the tone in her arms, mate? Holy shit.
Speaker: Yeah. What's this guy's name? ah I don't know. You're telling me. What's it what's his badge name? So, okay, Gravy is just going to walk up because she has been listening to him talk about her and she's just pretending like she's just like checking herself out in the mirror. She walks up and just like gives him a big old fat kiss with like her lips and looks at him and goes, hmm.
Speaker: Officer Dino. Listen here, sir. um i am good in a fight and I wish that you would stop ah talking shit about me over here. So um now that I have kissed Yes, you are. That's why I decided to kiss that right out of your mouth. Now, what are we doing over here?
Speaker: Yeah, I guess you're right. I can't say anything bad about you anymore. You kissed it right the fuck out. I mean, that was crazy. earth My wife cannot find out about this, by the way. It'll be fine.
Speaker: If she finds out, just tell her that um it's ah it's a spell. Yeah, it's a spell and you had to do it to learn about ah whatever it is that you're investigating. Yeah, right. that's what So that's it. So she sees, if she asks, that's the story we're going with, yeah?
Speaker: Well, you might be dead before then, so it's fine. what the ah What the fuck? i'm Sorry, excellent. What the fuck, mate? Why would you say that? You kissed a g Grim Reaper. Oh, fuck.
Speaker: I thought he was just joshing. Shit. I mean, you kissed him, not other way around, to be exact. I know, but he still got a kiss from me, and I decide whether you live or die.
Speaker: I was sucking, though, the whole time. was trying to suck my lips inward, so I didn't, you know, I didn't. I was trying to swallow my own lips. You did felt your tongue. Well, that's because my tongue, my lips went past my tongue.
Speaker: That's why. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I forgot to suck that in, too. What are we doing here? I will decide if you live die later. He was just helping us ah investigate, you know, what's going on with ah this little wrench thing that we found.
Speaker: Little wrench thing and show the wrench. Did somebody die? Oh, is that a dead body? i should also ask before we continue this, do any of you have I forgot to ask at the top of the of the game, does anybody have any at the start of mystery skills that we should have rolled?
Speaker: I don't remember. Mine says i roll for how much money and fame I get. all right, go ahead and roll one D one. I did not. Yeah, I don't roll. I rolled a zero. Yeah, you get fame glory.
Speaker: um I don't. I just have like a hunch i have hunches if something bad is happening somewhere that I'm not. And then I have this sight that I can see spirits.
Speaker: You know what? I would say maybe at this point you should... I know you were saying like, oh, is that a dead body? But it's it's a guy just um kind of getting attention. So he's not quite dead, but he's like... he they're They're giving him like...
Speaker: ah CPR and such like right now. So he's he's not in great shape. But I'd say you should roll on that hunch because something bad is happening somewhere.
Speaker: And I'd say you get like a little tingle somewhere in your brain that lets you know that that is happening.
Speaker: Holy, finally. Wow. So just for the skill, just to explain it, when something bad is happening or just about to happen somewhere that you aren't, you roll plus sharp and on a ten plus, you know where you are needed to go just in time to get there.
Speaker: Um, so I'd say that like, you know, you kind of feel through just like maybe the eyes of a raven somewhere off in the distance here in Bavaria. Um, you can see that, um, you get a vision of another truck, uh, like a gas truck just falling apart. And then like the gas spilling out all over the, of the, all over the Audubon and then just igniting and causing a massive explosion.
Speaker: Well, that's not good. Guys, um, there's going to be explosion on the Autobahn, so, um. There will be there has been?
Speaker: There ha- You have- You say has been? Right now, you see it as something that will happen very soon, not something that has happened yet. Okay. Okay. It's about to happen.
Speaker: ah need to get there. you should get off here, right? Yes, we should we need to get away from here now. Okay, let's do that. Okay. And I looked on the highway and I see a gas truck coming. Don't I, you do see a gas, I was just about literally about to say, you see a gas truck kind of barreling down the road at like, you know, I don't think it, it like it's coming up to where like they're, they're still setting up the checkpoint, uh, for, you know, like kind of like moving traffic around the accidents and everything.
Speaker: Um, but you notice that the truck just cannot stop. Like they're waving them off. They, the guys are trying to tell them to stop and he's beeping his horn. um and he just can't. And you see just all of a sudden, like the front wheel just starts to like slide off the front of the truck and just rolls off into the woods.
Speaker: Okay. What do you do? It rolls off into the woods? It rolls off into the woods. Yeah, this Audubon has woods next to it. Okay. Yeah. yeah Because it looks like a Pennsylvania road.
Speaker: Right. think or something
Speaker: That's no explosion. Yeah, so there's no explosion yet. A tire just rolled off onto the side of the road and up over into the woods. So we're in combat with a truck, essentially, it sounds like. All right. ah You're not in this. There's no combat.
Speaker: like Time is slowed down. Time is slowed down for a brief moment for you to tell me what you're going to do. I want cast a spell. You're going cast a spell? what are going to cast?
Speaker: I want to divert it off the road using ice. Oh, i don't you do super suit first? What? Don't you need to super suit first?
Speaker: No, what are you talking? I don't time for this. don't He starts doing some dumbass generic waterbending moves. and he's like What water are you bending?
Speaker: i you want to throw water on gasoline fire? If there is water, it's Germany, so I assume that there is water somewhere in like a ditch off to the side of the road or something. ah Sure.
Speaker: Yeah, they have ah they have they have Ditchin Vata Ditchin Vasser. um And yeah, that's where they keep it so it doesn't stay on the road.
Speaker: Yeah, I want to try to. i want to try to like basically make like an ice formation that will gently nu try to like gently nudge a fucking semi off of the ah off the road so it doesn't barrel into the people there.
Speaker: OK, we could try that. All right. Roll out. want to spend luck to do this already. I mean, I was going to say you could roll first. Yeah, we can roll. think I need a 12 for this. so But yeah, as long as you get a 10 plus, you're fine.
Speaker: I mean, even a seven to nine. You'll. scroll So much yeah I can was weird. Great. Yeah, it's plus weird for use magic. That's all all right. All right. That's all. Yeah. sope All right. So describe what like casting the spell looks like and how you disperse it onto the road.
Speaker: um So yeah, again, he does some stupid waterbending type moves and rips a bunch of water, you know, away from like plants and out of like a ditch, like just as much water as much water as that he can fucking get and puts all into it. He looks like he's really straining and basically has his eyes closed and is just like takes his hands and
Speaker: It's like he's yeah yeah like it looks like he has like a ah he's just he's like i kind of say this. He's like doing the like a hand wave like he did with ah like in Buster's like originally when he was freezing the leak or whatever. Sure.
Speaker: But with both hands and. Makes a little curve in the road. And. Ah, interesting. up push the Push the truck off and have it not hit all the people here and us and all that.
Speaker: Sure. I'd say I'd say that's probably I'd say as long as you elevate some of that ice and you kind of turn it into its a little road like you're doing. Yeah, like I make an embankment curves embankment of ice just because I feel like just enough to get him to or to get it to get the truck to not continue along its current path.
Speaker: Sure. um I'd say as you're doing that and you're casting the spell and you're raising it up, like the other wheel flies off, the front grill flies off. um You just see it starting to fall apart in real time. And the guy who was in the truck, like his eyes are huge. It's like the truck starts to hit this icy embankment and fly off over to on the other side of the Autobahn towards where the woods are.
Speaker: um And you do divert it, but you hear the guy start to scream um because there's still a guy in that truck. Charlie Brown, man. Yeah, exactly. um Rock, do you want to do anything as like you see this big rig is like coming down with the gas. The truck is falling apart. It slides over this embankment that he made up over top of everybody. It looks like it's getting enough air to avoid everybody else on the on the road.
Speaker: Oh, it's his air. Oh, shit. OK. Yeah. I was just trying to run it off the road. Right. Yeah, it got a little bit of air as it hit the embankment. A lot of air. Yeah.
Speaker: But so far, like, the truck is, like, flying towards something where there's no people, right? ah Yes. ah ah Bill diverted it away from everybody else the road. But there's still a guy inside. There's still a guy inside, but I don't really have any superpowers like that, so I just look at the truck.
Speaker: Alright, roll to look at the truck. Roll plus sharp to see how well he looked at the truck. I mean, why not? That's a 10! Dude, you look so fucking hard. yeah You see every muscle movement of this guy as he shrieks as he's about to crash into the side the embankment.
Speaker: um And you hear you you you see his lips move, plan his day, and he goes, oh man, I was just about to learn ai um And and he he crashes into the hillside um as the rest of the truck just seemingly falls to bits for the most part, leaving just like a couple of like hinges that keep the gas tank from...
Speaker: barely rolling back onto the road. It's just like teetering ah over the embankment as the truck tips over. I do want to try and like make sure that gas tank is not rolling towards us.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like it's not the truck hasn't been completely. Imagine like if the truck were tipped upside down and like the and like maybe the gas canister is dangling off of it, almost perpendicular. So like but it's laying on the ground and it's like hinging on it. So like if the bolts give way, the gas can't could potentially roll back towards the highway.
Speaker: Right. Well, got to do something about that. Huh? What are going to do? You gotta do something about that. You use your your eyes again. I'll try to like hold it or something.
Speaker: Uh... Okay, uh, I'll try. He's pretty, Bill's pretty tired. ah but While you're summoning that energy, Gravy, you haven't taken an action yet. What would you like to do?
Speaker: Sorry, my cat just went ferret mode. It's okay. What do you want, what would you like to do as ah ah Rock calls out, oh, we have to do something about that gas canister. Okay, let's see ah see. Let's see. Let's see. She
Speaker: She is pretty useless as far as that goes. so we are going to call upon my um
Speaker: Let's see. You can use your powers to kick some ass. You sure can. I mean, you also don't have to do like any moves on your sheet. You can just say, I go and try to hold the thing or I go check on the guy or like, you don't have to do a move if you don't want to do a move. Well, I was just trying to think of a way to like, like, just like show up, grab the dude and then like teleport out.
Speaker: Do you have teleport? No, that's why I'm looking at my sheet. i mean you I mean, you have used magic and you are you do have weird.
Speaker: So there are different kinds of spells you can try to cast under used magic. So you could kind of try to maybe describe some sort of spell you want a cast and see if that helps at all. And I'll let you know if it's under the the standard used magic or if that's a big magic thing.
Speaker: um It has been a while since I've played this game. okay yeah, that's what we're getting back into. it It's been a hot minute. So, you know, if you yeah use magic, you can just kind of describe what you want. And then like there are different effects and glitches you can pick depending on how well you roll.
Speaker: So you can just tell me what you want to try to do and we can see if your magic is strong enough to do it or if you need a big magic assistance. OK, well, I feel like that's what she would do because she is a grim reaper and ah she would feel.
Speaker: Mm hmm.
Speaker: Yeah, I feel like that's what she would do. She would show up and try to save the guy and then teleport out. Okay, so you're going to run it. You're going to try to pull him out now after the crash, or you think you would have tried to pull him out while the truck was about to crash?
Speaker: After the crash. Okay, so you're jumping you're running up towards there to get into the truck to try to pull him out and teleport. Mm-hmm. OK, so Rock and Bill, you see Gravy is already like running towards the crash.
Speaker: ah The truck is in several different pieces. The gas tank is kind of dangling on the, you know, on the side of the hill. And she pretty much runs up and climbs up, starts climbing up onto the truck and tries to get into the it's tipped onto its driver's side. So you'd have to pry open the passenger side to get in.
Speaker: um And you see the guys kind of laying there seemingly unconscious, like his eyes are kind of like flickering open and shut. ah He's pretty banged up. He's got blood coming from his head. um And he's like kind of laying on the on like the shattered window of his passenger or his driver's side of the truck.
Speaker: So how do you get him? What are you going to do and how do you teleport him out?
Speaker: She's just going to like client like because she's like a tiny little girl. I mean, not a little girl, but she's like she's small. So she's going to just kind of wiggle our way through like the window and or at least did you say that the window is open?
Speaker: ah The window is not open, but like you could open the truck door and just like scoop in. Yeah. Yeah. She's going to do that. Okay. And then just kind of like on princess carry him out. You fall down in there. ah And, you know, he's a big guy. He's a big, ah probably I'd say like 250 pound dude. Kind of, you know, it's a little bit heavier set, like big scraggly beard.
Speaker: He's big. He's a big guy. And the truck is currently laying on its side. So you you can try to grab him and see if you can teleport him out with you. Okay. She's just going to like lay her hands on him and then teleport him out.
Speaker: Sure. Let's try. Are you going to teleport? Are you teleporting him out or teleporting out with him? Both. Both of us. You're going to you're both going to go. right. Well, I'd say that's probably fine to do standard roll magic for now. So we'll just have plus weird and see what you get. OK, OK.
Speaker: 10. That's a big old fat 10, my friend. On a 10 plus, the magic works without issue. So you jump into the side of this truck. This guy's like gushing blood from the head. He's in bad shape. He's knocked out.
Speaker: You grab a hold of him. You teleport. Where do you take him? Just like, you know, a little bit further away, not too far away, but like just kind of like why kiki just just away from the the area. To the wagon? To the cranking wagon. No, just like just to the outside of the wreckage, like just far enough away.
Speaker: Okay, you pull him out, and then like he just feels like a ton of bricks in your arms as like you teleport him out of there. um I like to imagine, you can tell me if I'm wrong about this, but I like to imagine that if you're ever able to do like a teleport spell, there's like some sort of like...
Speaker: Raven cloud animation when you reappear somewhere. So oh yeah like my my brain imagines that just like this black cloud just kind of shows up. And as it disperses, there's this this like this petite goth woman and just a large trucker guy.
Speaker: he just falls like it's like a sack of bricks to the ground. Yeah. And you see the paramedics like rush from the clanking wagon over to to check him out. um And you see that you see what you call him, Officer Dino. He's like kind of looking over it's like, holy shit, you are a goddamn reaper.
Speaker: Told you. God, my God, I can't wait to tell my wife. No, I can't tell my wife. Shit. Ah, dang, I rock on a hard place and a hard place is my dick.
Speaker: Shit. Hey, you know, do you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And i I, you know, gesture over to the to the news camera that's running right now.
Speaker: Oh, boy, when the fuck did the media get here? They've been there here the whole time, buddy. Just watch it Dang, hey, can you edit that out? And they they just shake the camera. No.
Speaker: It's too good. he's You see it. You see a woman comes over with a with a microphone and puts it right in your face, Bill, and goes, Hi, this is Dana Dingo from the Channel 5 News. Can you tell me what you saw here?
Speaker: ah ah Well, as you can see over here, there's a truck that ah almost disassembled itself completely and You know, luckily you had a very skilled magic user here who was able to divert it off the road before it killed everybody here, including himself.
Speaker: Wow. And you guys. ah you Are you um ah you from Oculus? Sierra? Nope. Nope. I'm just a passerby. was just checking it out.
Speaker: Wow, a third party. We have never seen anybody else wield magic this way if they weren't affiliated with those two companies. are you Are you looking to compete with them, sir? Uh, nope.
Speaker: Are you looking to get a job with them, sir? Oh, I'd love a job. Yeah, i love a job. Please call me. If you're offering work, I need it. i oh I'm so... i feel Please, I look right in the camera. Please, I need money, guys. This is going to go viral. Someone's going to do like a song remix and you're like, I need money, please.
Speaker: Um... Somewhere there's a guy like a black trench coat and dark glasses sitting in like an office talking to a woman named Jill. He's like, hmm. Yeah. Yes, of course. um and And he grabs his grenade launcher.
Speaker: um So I get it. grabs
Speaker: his grenade launcher. He's like, hmm. um so ah So she's having this interview with you and you're answering all these questions. You're saying you want a job. ah Rock, what do you do? Like right now, you just saw that guy get saved. Gravy's over there with the guy. I was trying to go to the tank and like try to like make the tank so it doesn't roll away. Okay. How are you going to do that?
Speaker: um Just go there and... turn into a weapon and kind of be like a pillar so that it doesn't like roll away. Oh, interesting. You're going to be kind of like a wedge.
Speaker: Yes. I've actually just better bet for that. That's exactly what I wanted you to do for the record. That's much so smaller. So you just go over there and you put yourself in the right position. They just turn into a scythe and then just like hold it up. Do like a sonic like flip and like um a siphon like a stuck there.
Speaker: Oh, that's bad ass. I want I want you to. What do i want you to roll for that? Because want to see how cool it is when you do it. um I mean, to transform, I shouldn't really need to roll anything.
Speaker: Yeah, I know. But I mean, like to do the cool flip power into the thing. um roll's cool You know what? Why don't we just have you just roll a straight weird check? Just like just to kind of show off. Just this is a weird thing that nobody's probably ever seen.
Speaker: A nine. You got a nine, ah which is perfect because we're in Germany and nine means way.
Speaker: Meaning there's no way anybody else could do that cool shit. Exactly. ah You hear somebody goes, wow, there's nine way. um And so you do this sick little kind of flip and then like the scythe starts to do a cool little spin in the air and wedge itself just as the bolts break free.
Speaker: And Rock, can you can talk while you're a scythe, right? I think we did we talked about that. I have scythe for my telepathically communicate. But with whomever it is that you're... But you're still aware of the world, though, right?
Speaker: Right, yeah, yeah. Still, like, to, like, experience all the world. So, like, you wedge yourself under this thing just as the tank starts to, like, collapse, like the bolts start to bust. And you hear just very briefly, just like...
Speaker: Um, and you hear just like a skittering of just like, what sounds like, I don't know, like a half a dozen small feet, just like hitting the ground real fast, just nothing dipping through the woods. like super And you can hear like the grass start to, uh, to rustle and, uh, you know, just like dirt starts to shift under, like on the other side of that tank.
Speaker: Um, And so you're just wedged under underneath this thing, stopping it. And you people go, whoa, so what do we do about that? And everybody's like kind of covering their head, thinking they're about to get crushed by this thing rolling back onto the Audubon.
Speaker: um Bill, do something. Bill, what do you do? We're back to you. You're in the middle of being interviewed when like this thing starts to roll and then like the scythe catches it. and and would And like the the lady interviewing goes, ah, um and kind of pulls the microphone away just that to cover her own head.
Speaker: what you do? Oh, shit. Oh, oh. Yeah, looks like Rock's got it. OK, all right, You see, like, the camera zooms in. You can see on the monitors are zooming in to see, like, just like, oh, wow, somebody threw a scythe to wedge the tank. How?
Speaker: Well, who is this hero? And everybody zooms in on on Gravy and they're like it must have been her. She looks like she's dressed for the part. no well She does the hair flip thing. And you hear you hear like the camera is like, my God, she could be a movie star.
Speaker: What do you do, Bill? but That's it it. I appreciate it. you Everybody move away from that. Move away. Move away. Move away. right. Everybody starts to move. Okay. ah And I make another.
Speaker: i make a wedge. You can make another wedge. You can do whatever you want. How do you do that? Sure. And then we can lower it slowly as it melts. see Sure. You're going to try to like cast another ice spell underneath it?
Speaker: Yeah, i'll cast another I'll try to cast another ice spell, but... He's really tired, and he gets an 8. Nice. 7 you want to do minus because he's tired.
Speaker: No, we'll do it. Eight is fine. You just have to pick a glitch for your spell. What are the glitch options? The glitch options are... I forget.
Speaker: It's like a temporary effect. see it. Yeah, yeah. you got Yeah, the effect is short of short duration. That's great. So yeah, you cast a spell and you see like rock, you feel like the the ice kind of like form around you to stop this thing.
Speaker: You can already hear the ice start to crack a little bit. um But as you hear Bill call out like, oh, it's time to get out of the way. Right. Then i transform back and I whole aspect my way from the tank.
Speaker: It's funny to hear you say haul ass. Is that a German phrase? a ha in asen How do you say that? yeah I'm surprised you noted one.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, I just I study. I'm hauling ass and I'm hauling oats. So, so, uh, gravy,
Speaker: knew it so so ah gravy um Like you can hear the ice start to crack. the the The tank is starting to slip a little bit as they move this man out of the way.
Speaker: um Do you do anything to help out as you see that ah Bill has cast a spell, he's clearly tired, and the the tank looks like it's starting to slip again? She's just going to walk over, put her hand on his shoulder and like help him out.
Speaker: Are you going like boost the spell? Yeah. Oh, interesting. Our first help out action. So maybe we can turn that. It'll be kind of a help out because technically you only give it a one. But I would say that if you roll high enough, if you get a perfect 10, we'll say it's a plus two.
Speaker: OK. So you can roll a roll help out, I believe. um I got a nine. So you get a plus one. So you make it into a nine. So you look, you see as like the, the ice starts to crack a little bit that you kind of reinvigorate the ice in it, uh, kind of like restarties itself for a little while longer. it looks like it might hold for another 10 or 15 minutes.
Speaker: Uh, so you bought everybody enough more, little bit more time for them to clean up the scene and get out of the way, or maybe get a crane in there. That's way more time than a, And like the 30 seconds I had. Well, I mean, you know, it's two it's two magic users now, so you buffed it a little bit.
Speaker: um And all of a sudden, gravy, everybody runs towards you. ah You are hailed as like the hero of this thing because no one saw what rock did. um They saw the scythe. They thought you did it. um So everybody's running over to you. Everybody's taking pictures. All of a sudden, more media is there.
Speaker: ah Three microphones appear out of nowhere in your face like, yes, yes, ma'am, ma'am. How did you do that? Are you are you really a Grim Reaper? You hear somebody else that's just like, yes, he's hot. Only fans. And they're all just like putting like microphones in your face and asking questions. And you're on camera. And you can see the little monitors that you're on there.
Speaker: The lighting makes you look absolutely stunning. um And you're the belle of the ball right now. How do you like me now, Brian? Who the fuck's Brian?
Speaker: Her ex-boyfriend. Oh, no. Yeah, somebody says, who's Brian? Someone who doesn't matter now. somewhere we kind of Somewhere we cut to Brian, who has like 17 different sides on his wall that he grabs off and starts to sharpen. He goes, I'll fucking show you. I'll go do some cool shit and get on TV.
Speaker: um And then ah so, yeah, you've saved everyone. the crime scene is cleared. that People are getting medically evacuated. But you do. I say gravy just as like the cameras and everything are starting. You see everything slows down for a minute.
Speaker: You can see that the guy who they're trying to get into the ambulance and and save, you see, as they're putting him on the gurney and they're stretching him into the ambulance, you see his spirit stays laying on the ground.
Speaker: So they're still trying to revive him in the ambulance. But you see the the ghost of of a skinny guy, probably like maybe 21, 22 years old, um just laying on the ground. And he sits up looking around very confused.
Speaker: She's going to take scales out of her ah backpack that she has. ah It's a so you know, in holes where they had the little yellow spotted liver lizards that were actually just like the bearded dragons with. Sure.
Speaker: Sure. the Yeah. um So that's what her pet is. And well, kind of, it's her familiar. And ah she takes a him out of her backpack, sets him on the ground and sends him to go pick up his soul so that they can.
Speaker: reap his soul. Now, when he reaps the soul, what does that do to the spirit? So essentially the spirit will be taken to the court of Ravens and the Ravens will take them to their forever place.
Speaker: OK, so you see this little lizard kind of skittering across the ground towards the spirit to go and reap the soul. And you see this guy, he's sitting up and he's looking around kind of scared. He doesn't know what to do.
Speaker: He just starts calling out. um He goes, Dave. Dave, where are you? Dave. And you see he like starts to like hug himself. He's like cold all of a sudden. He doesn't know what to do.
Speaker: And what does it look like when you're when ah ah scales reaps it? He essentially just walks up and
Speaker: bites him. He what? He bites him. just bites the soul? They just disappear. Yeah. All right. So he just bites him and the guy goes and then just is gone and like a puff of scales. um And ah so, yeah. So ah does anybody else see scales or is he is he like ah corporeal like you are or is he like a ghost himself?
Speaker: So he can only be seen if I allow him to be seen. Gotcha. So no one has any idea what just happened except for you. um So you went over there and you did that.
Speaker: Meanwhile, you're getting your your picture taken and everybody has you on camera. um And then, ah Rock, you hear one more time as you like you you haul ass away. ah You know, ah you you you heard those noises and you look up into the woods.
Speaker: And just for like a brief moment, you see what looks like a pointy red hat, just like bolting through the woods, catching up to, you know, all these other little tiny footprints that are just kind of running up over the hill.
Speaker: And um as you see that and you're trying to make sense of what you're looking at, the camera turns to you and ah Officer Dino comes up and slaps his hand on your back and he goes, and this guy can fucking turn into a weapon. Can you believe it?
Speaker: um And then all the microphones get pointed into your face and all of a sudden all of you are getting interviewed, more and more media show up. um And that's where we'll leave off for now before you investigate what it is that you saw in the woods.
Speaker: So good job, everybody. i hope that um you had fun so far in the... I'd like to know something. Yes. Cravey is not actually a Grim Reaper, it's a pet.
Speaker: And she's just a carekeeper of the pet. Maybe it might be something worth investigating. Who knows? Maybe she'll be the monster of next week.
Speaker: Maybe she'll be the monster next week after the week-long festival is over. um So, everybody, thanks for hanging out. Thanks for listening. If you want to support the show, we have a co-fi. Please go check that out.
Speaker: I'm losing my voice all of a sudden. Hang on. I don't know why. It's a lot of talking. um And hey, if you want to check out the store, funnestellersnetwork.biz, we have all the business going on over there. If you want to check out the new shirts that we have.
Speaker: And um anybody else want to say anything encouraging or pitch any other thing that you want people to look at or sell or buy or get a service for? Just any encouraging words? Yeah, yeah. I got something. something I want to plug. you're green. There you go. um Use you have the best AI ever in your head. It's it's your brain.
Speaker: That's the best one. You should use it and definitely I'm not trying to tell people how to parent, but but um I am. Don't let them use AI. It cooks them. oh Yeah.
Speaker: Don't use artificial intelligence. Use natural intelligence. use se Use official intelligence. Official intelligence. Yeah. And follow your dreams.
Speaker: Follow your dreams. Use official intelligence. And always remember punch Nazis with your whole fist. Yes.
Speaker: Does it look good already?
