Transcript
Speaker: Have you ever made a decision? when you were angry anxious or overwhelmed and then later thought That was not my finest moment. Well, that is where Wise Mind comes in. I'm Travis Goodman. I'm a licensed married family therapist and a mind -body coach. I'm the founder of the Men's Collective and the host of the Men's Collective podcast, and I help men build steadier nervous systems, more healthy relationships, and more grounded lives. Whether you're watching on YouTube or listening to the Men's Collective podcast,
Speaker: This is part of a short series where I'm giving you some practical skills and tools that you can apply in your everyday life. Today, we're focusing on wise mind. Now, wise is mind is one of the core mindfulness skills in DBT, also known as dialectical behavioral therapy. In essence, it really helps you ask, what is actually the wisest, most effective decision or move to make.
Speaker: right now not what feels urgent not what feels logical but disconnected and also not what you were spinning about at 2am DBT talks about three states of mind. The first is the reasonable mind or the logical mind. Now I'm going to use a ah reference that at least I grew up watching with Star Trek. The difference between Captain Kirk and Spock. Now the reasonable mind or the logical mind. This is your Spock. It's facts. It's logic. It's analysis. It's data. It's what makes sense on paper. Reasonable mind is useful. You want Spock on your ship. You want someone to say, hey, statistically...
Speaker: this is a terrible idea or this is a really good idea but if Spock is the only one on your ship you're most likely to become disconnected from your feelings, from your values and from your relationships.
Speaker: Second is the emotion mind. Now this is often like Captain Kirk, who is in full -on action mode. He uses his gut, urgency, passion, anger, fear, loyalty, instinct. He is just go. Emotion mind is also not bad. It gives you important, vital information. It mobilizes you. It tells you what matters most. But if emotion mind takes over completely, well, that's problematic because then that's when we'll snap or overreact, we'll shut down, or we'll make a decision kind of without actually thinking things through fully. And finally, third is Wise Mind. Wise Mind is not Spock defeating Kirk.
Speaker: And it's also not Kirk just randomly just going wherever he wants without the... wisdom of Spock. Wise mind is the captain's chair. It listens to logic. It listens to emotions. It knows your body and it knows your values. And then it asks, what is the most effective next step? Not the most emotional step, not the most logical or detached step, but the wisest. Here is a simple example.
Speaker: A friend of yours is late to a coffee hangout Your emotion mind says, they don't care about me. I'm done. Reasonable Mind says, They're only seven minutes late.
Speaker: This is technically not a big deal. Wise Mind says, I feel hurt. And I know this may not have been intentional. and I can ask for reassurance without attacking them. Wise mind does not mean you feel calm all the time. It means you can listen beneath the noise. Practice this. The next time you get pulled into React,
Speaker: pause and ask yourself this question. What does my wise mind know? right now. Usually, It's a quiet voice much smaller than anger or anxiety or overwhelm.
Speaker: but it's solid, it's grounded, it's anchored, it's curious, it's compassionate, it's confident, it's clear -minded. Practice one rep this week and come back and let me know how it went.
Speaker: Thanks for listening and watching Blessings.
