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EP 17: Warm and Fuzzy
2.2k Plays2 years ago
In motherhood, it’s easy to fall into the rut of complaining. This week the moms take a step back and share their thoughts on what makes having babies and toddlers such a magical and rewarding time of life. Think of this episode as a gratitude journal in the format of a podcast. This is a glass half full type episode, and a few happy tears are shed. We hope you get the warm and fuzzies after listening and thinking about your own gorgeous babies and families!
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Transcript
Introduction and Light-hearted Banter
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up, my bright and sunshiny moms? My name is Candace, and I'm here with my best friend Shannon and Whitney. And this is the Mom Group Chat podcast. Hello.
00:00:25
Speaker
Good morning. Good morning. I know we said we look like Christmas because we do right now. And when you see the video, you'll see we are wearing red and green. But for some reason when I just did this, I was like, Oh, we're also like Mexican. Like we kind of look Cinco de Mayo. Yeah. I like that energy. Give me a marg. Let's go. Or Italian. We could be Italian. Oh yeah.
00:00:51
Speaker
There's a lot of red and green countries out there that we could just... Okay, I have a funny story for you guys to start off this episode. And it's really about how humbling motherhood can be. And one of the reasons I wanted the time, you guys know we chatted about running a little bit late. I needed to put on some makeup.
00:01:10
Speaker
I've been feeling really ugly recently, and I needed to put on makeup to feel like myself again. But two days ago, Alice... Okay, hold on. Back it up a little bit. I need to preface this by saying that I am Cuban, okay? I'm half Cuban. I have some Cuban things that happen to my body, okay? And one of those is hair.
00:01:36
Speaker
OK, I have had a unibrow. I have had a unibrow and a mustache since I was in the fifth grade. OK, I will never forget. I will never forget Casey Gonzalez pointing to my unibrow when I was like newly in the fifth grade and being like, you need to wax that like she literally said that. And I was like, I want to bury myself in the ground right now. Well, motherhood, you know,
00:02:04
Speaker
Alice is basically the new Casey Gonzalez because she pointed to my mustache, which I probably needed to take care of and I have since, but she pointed to my mustache on my face like the hairs and she said dirt.
00:02:21
Speaker
And I went, huh? And I wiped it on my, I like wiped my face thinking I had dirt on my face. And she said, dirt again. She pointed at it. So I went to the mirror and I looked and she was talking about my mustache hairs.
00:02:36
Speaker
Like ma'am, you got some dark, dark stuff on your lip. But you know what? It's, Karma's coming back around because she's, have you seen her unibrow? She's got a little, it's like, yeah, but she's got my jeans. So she's going to have a mustache when she's in the fifth grade and it's going to sting.
00:02:52
Speaker
Okay. Same thing happened to me, man. I think I already told you all, but when Graydon was under my arm and he goes, what's this? And like pointed at my stubbled armpit. I was like, let's not start the day off like this. My guy, like, I know I need to take care of myself, but it's just like, they're so funny.
00:03:12
Speaker
Yeah. So humbling. Yeah. Yeah. TJ doesn't have words yet, but I'm sure he's formulating some stuff, but like there's been multiple times in my life where kids truly say the darndest things. And then they get a little bit older and they can string together a sentence. I remember standing in line at like a TJ max line, which, you know, gets so frigging long. And
Embracing Positivity in Motherhood
00:03:36
Speaker
this little girl just looks at my feet and goes, you got a long bony feet.
00:03:44
Speaker
And I was like, I know. I definitely. Yeah, I've definitely told you all this too. The other thing, one of the first words that Alice learned was mole.
00:03:57
Speaker
And I am also a moly person like I have, and specifically I have this one on my neck, not like some big gross hairy mole. Okay. I'm not like a mole woman, but I have like moles and freckles on me. And she will now like, she used to point to it and she would like kind of like almost try to scratch it off, which fucking hurts by the way.
00:04:16
Speaker
And she would, and I, you know, I'm a mom, so I label everything she touches. I'm like, cup, watermelon, you know, whatever. And so she would point to that and I would say mole, that's mommy's mole. And so now almost every time I pick her up, she points to my mole and she goes mole. You're like, thanks for the reminder. And I'm like, yes, I have a mole there. But and Vinny and I laugh about it because it is funny, but now we're like scared that we're going to run into someone who has like
00:04:45
Speaker
You know like a big hairy mole in their face and she's just gonna point to them in their face and be like mole She's gonna say dirty mole Dirt all over your mole
00:05:02
Speaker
I'm scared, but it's also hilarious. Like that's funny. I know. We always joke that Graydon's going to have more hair on him than Chris when he's like in sixth grade. So yeah, Chris isn't very hairy. Like I don't think I've ever seen him with a beard. He's not hairy. Like he just started getting chest hairs at 32. So I don't know. Wow. I'm like trying to weed it out of my family, but Graydon's got a lot of hair. So I was like,
00:05:30
Speaker
We tried. Yeah, Graydon was born with a full Southern swoop haircut. He came out with a legit frat boy from Alabama haircut. It's wild. We were like, well, you're definitely Chris's son because you have the same hairstyle. I don't know how that happened, but- It was so funny. Yeah.
00:05:52
Speaker
Love it. I love it so much. Okay. I'm excited about today's episode because we are living on the bright side today. We are going to, this is a warm and fuzzy episode. We want to shine some light on the positive aspects of motherhood and our favorite parts. And just, we want to warm your hearts a little bit.
00:06:14
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like this would be an episode where we're going to express a lot of gratitude. You know, it's, it's the morning for us. So I feel like it's going to get our day kicked off on the right foot. And if we weren't doing this in podcast format, I feel like it would be a really like fun thing to journal about. So I feel like it's going to be, it's going to be like productive for us to
00:06:40
Speaker
get out of the complaining zone of motherhood, which you can definitely fall into sometimes and remember how amazing it is. And then also, hopefully for the listeners, it kind of does the same thing when this airs. Yeah, I think this would be good for expectant moms as well, just because we have talked about toddlerhood and how hard it is. And so for this to be a shining light and, hey, let's get excited, especially right now when I'm about to have another baby and I focus a lot on
00:07:09
Speaker
being so tired, I know it's coming, it got me excited again for newborn life. I think it's important to do this every once in a while, just as a mom in general, whether you have a podcast or not. Sometimes I think you have to consciously and mindfully sit down and remember the positives and how much amazing
00:07:35
Speaker
light comes out of being a mom. And yeah, I just think you kind of but it doesn't come naturally to everyone. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes I think. I think sometimes it's really easy to fall into like the fuck. This is hard box, but there's also so much good in it. And so that's what we're going to try and do today is shine some light on that.
The Unique Experience of Motherhood
00:08:05
Speaker
I know one of my favorite things that I've seen circulating around and I've seen it a few times and it really hits a nail on the head is that being a mom is a universal experience like everyone does it. You're born, you grow up, you have a baby, you start a family, circle of life situation.
00:08:27
Speaker
But then when you have your own baby, it is like the most singular unique experience that you're going to ever have personally in your life. So hearing what you everyone's going to say and everyone's unique, every family is unique. It's it's kind of crazy to think everyone does it. But to you, it is so personal. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. But.
00:08:52
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like I know we've talked in the past about like algorithm and how to like train your algorithm. I think we talked about that a little bit with Julia, our guest. One of the things I've tried to do is whenever I see like a positive mom post or even just like about how to like mindfully shift your thinking around being a mom.
00:09:13
Speaker
I almost always like it or save it just to train my algorithm to continue to show me those positive things because sometimes that tiny little social media reminder will change my whole day. I saw one yesterday that actually helped me write these prompts for this episode today and it was a mom
00:09:35
Speaker
And it was a toddler interrupting her meal like at dinner time which we've talked about many times, and it she put on the screen like over top the video of the toddler bothering her. It was like her instant thoughts like her initial thoughts and it was like,
00:09:53
Speaker
I never get to enjoy a meal or why is it always me that he picks like why can't he ever go to dad when dad's eating and it was like her initial thoughts and then she took those thoughts and like changed them put a positive spin on them to be like I'm who he knows and loves like I'm the one he's seeking comfort from like what a privilege and like all of this effort she just like turned each thought on its head in a positive way and
00:10:21
Speaker
I don't know, it like totally changed my thinking for the day of like, yeah, I can get so frustrated, especially in the evenings and afternoons. Like that's, those are hard times. And sometimes I just need that reminder that like my brain is in control of the situation. Like my, the way I think about it can change the way the evening will go. And I sometimes just like need that reminder, you know?
00:10:45
Speaker
Yeah, I'm glad you said that. Yeah, those things do matter for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Should we get into our little like journal prompts here? Basically, this is our live journal. Did you guys ever have a live journal growing up? Yeah. What's a live journal? It was like in, yeah, it was like in the Zenga days. Do you remember Zenga? Yeah. I remember Zenga with the dolls, but not live journal.
00:11:14
Speaker
My mom made me delete it because it was I mean, it was highly inappropriate because she didn't want your her 11 year old sharing her deepest darkest thoughts on the Internet. Yeah. Yeah. But everyone was doing it.
00:11:29
Speaker
Yeah, you don't get it. Yeah, it was like before Myspace. So it was like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it was like it was truly like a like you were journaling, but like for the Internet to see and you could like share it with your friends. I remember like it actually is so inappropriate like that. And because when you're in the seventh grade, you don't think about like long term
00:11:53
Speaker
or like how your thoughts, your internet footprint. Yeah. Yeah. Especially back then. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I wish I could break into my Myspace and see what all I talk about. I would give anything. This is a tangent now, but I have also thought about my Myspace and I was like, I wish I could go back and see it, but like you can't find those things. Like the old internet is very hard to find. I'm listening to this podcast right now called Scamanda. Have you guys heard of me?
00:12:22
Speaker
I'm listening. Are you listening? Okay. I'm on episode four. It's so good. What is it? Do I need to listen? Yeah. Yeah, you do. Yeah. It's like one of the first blogger influencer girls.
00:12:34
Speaker
I don't want to give anything away, but it's a scam situation. It's like a little documentary on pod. It's so good. It's juicy. Yeah, investigative journalism meets influencer. It's 2012. I'm trying to go back and find her blog and find anything that she posted, but it's all gone. There's not much left. So I wonder how the journalist found everything that she's reading.
00:13:04
Speaker
Anyway, I wish I could read Candace's live journal because I kind of feel like I'm at Candace in ninth grade, but I feel like it would be so like emo.
00:13:20
Speaker
I mean, I thought I was like a cool like emo queen that like had deep thoughts. Like I for sure. Of course. Yeah. I mean, we did. Yeah. Good times. OK. Yeah. That is so funny. Well, this is this is our life journal. Yeah. Yeah. That our kids are going to grow up and be like, what the hell, mom? Why are you so obsessed with me? Why are you talking about me?
00:13:48
Speaker
This whole pod is a love letter to our kids for the most part. Good thing I like him right now. Oh, it's a good day. Are we all on the same page? It's a good day. Yeah, he's a good day. Yeah. Yeah. Alice
Celebrating Children and Parenthood
00:14:01
Speaker
is really cute too. She's here today with me. Well, my mom is here, but so she sometimes will try to break into this room. So if we hear a little hi, that's what it is.
00:14:11
Speaker
Okay, we're gonna start this off with our top three favorite things about our child just in general, thus far in their lives. What are our favorite things about them? Okay, I'll go first. Okay, favorite things about TJ are his face and smile.
00:14:29
Speaker
Yeah, I love seeing him in the morning when he wakes up. He is one of the most consistent people who smiles most of the time when he sees me. Oh, I love that. Like, I just love his his smile. It just brings me so much joy. He this is can be exhausting, but I really think he is like super headstrong and like
00:14:54
Speaker
like a little stubborn, which is definitely from his dad. But I think it'll be a strength in his life. And it's like interesting to see how it unfolds as a toddler, and something will have to navigate. But in general, I'm glad he has that because I did not have that when I was little. And I feel like it's something I had to learn to be like persistent and headstrong. And so I'm glad it comes to him naturally.
00:15:20
Speaker
Well, he is a Capricorn king, like myself. Yeah, he's a Capricorn king. I see TJ running a company someday. Yeah, he's a businessman. That's his legacy, at least.
00:15:36
Speaker
and then third would be oh he's just getting really like sweet right now like he loves his stuffies and his animals and like anything soft and cuddly he doesn't really talk yet as you guys know but he's 19 months now but he does this like cute noise where he goes oh
00:15:59
Speaker
And he does it to everything. Like we, there's this little park nearby and there's like a legit big scary dragon statue. That's like part of the park. And he always runs up to it and gets, gives it a hug and goes, Oh, so it's like, he's going to be like an animal lover, you know, love Harvey, our dog. And I just love seeing, seeing him be such a sweet little boy.
00:16:23
Speaker
We love an animal lover. Oh, that is so cute. Yeah. It's good news. Yeah.
00:16:30
Speaker
I mean, yeah, we don't like a not animal lover. That is a bad sign. Yes. That's funny. All right. So Graydon is starting to talk a lot. And I just love the way he says certain things like if he gets sick a lot, right. So the way he says sick is like three syllables. He's like, see it. Like it's super country. Are you sick? See it.
00:17:00
Speaker
So that's so funny. But car is in his Boston accent. It's CAH. So I'm like, I raised him right. He's got some country and some northern in him. And then I've told you guys, like his most recent word is just artichoke. And he says it clear as day. And it's like, what? We don't even need that.
00:17:23
Speaker
Oh, it's just so funny to I love his that he's gotten blonde hair. I just think it's so cute. And he is getting so handsome. Like, yeah, he's a handsome boy.
00:17:37
Speaker
Yeah, he has the blondest hair, the softest skin. I just love cuddling him at night and like tickling his arm. He'll like put out his arm for me to tickle and I'll rub his legs. And I'm like, I just could oddly rub you. Oh, I feel the same way. I know the same way.
00:17:59
Speaker
But probably my most favorite thing about him he has the most excitable energy about him, which like what Shannon said can be exhausting but he is a hype man. He's definitely a leader.
00:18:15
Speaker
All of his friends copy what he's doing. If he screams, other friends are going to scream. If he's running across the room, they're chasing him. He's just going to be a popular guy. I think he's just a very excitable energy about him and the way he communicates. If you finally figure out what he's trying to say, he'll be like,
00:18:33
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Everything is so exciting and thrilling to him. He's got a zest for life. He really does. It's tiring, but he's just going to be a popular dude. I just see it. Oh, so sweet. I have a question for you because TJ has recently started. He asks for leg massages. I think his-
00:18:58
Speaker
Our nanny Maya would we I don't really rub him down. I know a lot of people like lotion up their babies I never moisturized him. Yeah, but Maya our nanny I think did and so he does is saying he'll grab the lotion and then he'll point to his legs
00:19:14
Speaker
So I started, I was like, okay. And I started like rubbing his legs down, but now like, I love it too. And I give him like a little leg massage at the end of the day and a foot massage. And he just loves it. And I'm like, when do I stop? Like now I've created that's part of our routine.
00:19:31
Speaker
Like, is he gonna be like seven and being like, okay. Time for my foot massage. I mean, great. I grew up with my family tickling my arm. And so I instinctively would just do that to him. So he'll like literally flop his arm out and be like, do it. You know, it's just, I mean, I'm gonna do it until he doesn't want me to anymore. I think it's precious. So sweet. Oh my gosh. Candy, tell me about Alice. Let's hear about our girly girl.
00:20:00
Speaker
Okay. Um, I think my number one favorite thing about her is just how social she is. Like she will go up to anyone, anywhere and say hi. Like when we're rolling around target, any person we pass, she just goes, hi. Hi. And she says hi to everyone and she wants to see what everyone's doing. She's just a social butterfly. I know she's going to be like that. And.
00:20:29
Speaker
As a social butterfly myself, it just makes me so happy that she loves people and wants to talk and she wants to be included in everything. It's so cute. Whenever we go to the pool, there'll be a group of moms that are just hanging on the stairs, drinking their drinks and chatting. She'll just walk right up to that group and be like,
00:20:53
Speaker
Oh, and you know, it made snow in your room. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Everyone, everyone like melts. They're always, they're always like, Oh my God. Hi. They're so, it's so sweet. So that's my favorite thing is just how like social she is. I would say like, I mean, there's so many like physical things about her. I love, I mean, I know everyone thinks their child is just like the most beautiful being to ever exist, but I just think she is so,
00:21:22
Speaker
she is she is like the longest darkest eyelashes but really sorry the point of this is that I just love her tiny little body like oh my god when I'm getting her in the bath I just want to like squeeze her until her head pops off her little body is so
00:21:39
Speaker
cute like she's definitely small like she's on the smaller side although she's tall so but weight wise she's small she's kind of like long and lean must be nice yeah but her little body is just so cute
00:21:56
Speaker
And then if anyone hasn't seen, Alice is a replica of Candace. So it is insane. Like when she was born, it's like that's your twin. She's precious. Thank you. She's so sweet. She does look just like me. Like if you see baby pictures of me, like we're twins. So anyone who tries to say like tell me that she looks like Vinnie, I'm like, you're lying, but it's fine. I mean, she has Vinnie in her too, but
00:22:25
Speaker
She definitely has been in her age. She came out looking like you though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
00:22:30
Speaker
Um, and then the last thing is she is a fearless queen. Like she, which kind of, I think goes into the social, like she's not scared to approach anyone, but just in general, the way she approaches life is a little bit fearless, which makes me nervous for the future things. But I also think, like you said, Shannon about being headstrong, like I think it will be a positive as she grows up as a woman. She's very fearless. Like she.
00:22:59
Speaker
like at the pool, we'll like dive right in. And like we were at my aunt's pool the other day and they have like a little it's not a diving board, but it's almost like a little platform that's high up like and she'll climb right up to that platform and she like jumps in from the high platform. And that's Vinnie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's the Vinnie Vinnie and I, you know, Vinnie was a swimmer. He wants her to be a swimmer so bad. But now I'm like, what if she's a diver?
00:23:29
Speaker
Like, Oh, that would be gymnastics plus swimming. Yeah, exactly. It's literally gymnastics plus swimming. So now I'm like manifesting that, but she's just fearless. I love that for her. Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:42
Speaker
Olympian. Here she comes. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, she's just, and like even around the house, she's like fearless and I don't know. I just think she approaches life in like a fearless way, which I love. That's so good. No, it's so good. I feel like you're not going to have to worry about her as much because she's going to push the boundaries in front of you. So you're going to know like what she's able and not able to do.
00:24:08
Speaker
So I think that's a positive for sure. Can't wait till we have all these brave, fearless, headstrong teenagers running around town. We're going to listen back to this and be like, we loved it. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, Graydon's going to be a little party animal. I already know it. He will dance on the bar. Oh, no. Yeah. I'll join him. That's fun.
00:24:35
Speaker
Okay, we're gonna take it back in time to the newborn phase.
Cherishing Early Childhood Moments
00:24:40
Speaker
Can you recall a favorite moment or a favorite feeling, something that gives you the warm and fuzzies from the newborn phase? It's all black. I'm just kidding.
00:24:52
Speaker
Whitney's like, I'm going to pass on this one next. I'm just kidding. Whitney, this is supposed to be the positive episode. I'm just kidding. Yeah, you're having a baby soon, so we're supposed to be hyping you up. Oh my god. I'm just kidding.
00:25:08
Speaker
All right, I guess I'll go first to get on this because Candice sent me this video the other day of like TJ's literally first hours and I was like sent back in time and I did like a little deep dive on the newborn stuff with him. But I think
00:25:25
Speaker
TJ has never been like a super snuggly or still boy. He is like on the go always. And he does, we don't get a lot of long hugs or snuggles. But when he was a newborn, they just lay on you and they just nap on you. And I remember one of Andrew's friends telling me, he was like,
00:25:47
Speaker
don't, basically he was like, don't worry about like doing it wrong. Just like taken every moment and like enjoy them sleeping on you because it doesn't last. And I was like, I'm just like stuck all the time. He's like always on me. But now for this next baby, they're gonna, I'm gonna let her live on me. Like, yeah, she's gonna be able to nap on me whenever she wants. I'm gonna try and get better at like wearing her.
00:26:15
Speaker
you know, like getting a Moby rap and getting used to that because I want her on me like all the time. So that's what I remember super fondly. And then also just like being in the hospital after having him. This is just like very specific memory more about like me and Andrew but
00:26:35
Speaker
There was an office, the office like marathon was on Comedy Central and we loved the office. And we just like had the office running for like two days straight while we were in the hospital. And TJ was there and we were just in like this love bubble. And there was no like, we weren't checking the news. We weren't on our phones. We were completely disconnected from the rest of the world. It was just us and the office and TJ. And we were like, this is amazing. Like we loved it.
00:27:03
Speaker
Yeah, it was just like such a special time. Yeah. Oh, it's making me I actually at the beginning of this episode meant to ask the question, OK, who's going to cry first? Because I feel like this episode like is is a recipe for one of us to get teary. And that just made me teary.
00:27:20
Speaker
Oh, but it's so true. And people say, like, take advantage of those contact naps. That first child, you're like, no, but now like that you're having a second and you're like, oh, my God, a child that stays still like cherish it. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Yeah.
00:27:40
Speaker
I feel like with the newborn phase, it's no specific moment. Everything that they learn is such a big deal. The first smile is such a big deal. When they're sitting in their baby Bjorn and they're spinning those flowers and their motor skills are working, you're like,
00:28:01
Speaker
oh my god honey get the camera like everything's such a big deal like yeah um but i was definitely gonna say like the contact naps because you're just so tired and it's so sweet and i actually felt
00:28:15
Speaker
like he was the safest when he was on me sleeping. I had like a fear of Sid's pretty bad. And just knowing that he was on me and watching him breathe, it was like a calming effect to me. And yeah, I'm looking forward to that again. And I actually was thinking about wearing her a lot more this time just because I didn't as much. But now that I'm going to be on the go, I'm like, she's going to have to be on me. She's going to be my little monkey.
00:28:45
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, it's so true. Mine is similar. My first thought was contact naps and like having her lay on me and like our show was not the office. But when she was first brought home from the hospital, like I was watching Love Island.
00:29:03
Speaker
Just so much worse than the office. I watched Sex and Life. I didn't want to say it, but oops. Oh my God. Just those days of her sleeping on me and me watching Love Island are so fond in my head. And then the other thing I was going to say, which I don't know, like I never know like where newborn stops and newborn ends, but this is definitely not like toddler either. So I'm going to say it because I feel like it's more towards the newborn phase.
00:29:29
Speaker
but that very first time of us trying solids for the first time, like baby oatmeal. And I, yeah, there's a video of it on my Instagram. I'll post it, but it is so funny. And she was so expressive, like trying the oatmeal for the first time and like trying solid. She is so cute. I watched that video. I'm not kidding. Like once a month. Um, and that was just one of my favorite moments of that age. Like she is so cute and expressive and
00:30:00
Speaker
Okay. We're going to do the same thing, but from more, um, like current times, like toddler hood times.
Appreciating Growth and Gestures
00:30:08
Speaker
I'll start. Um, I think now that he's able to like reciprocate love is probably the most rewarding thing as a mother that
00:30:20
Speaker
could ever be. And now that he is talking, I went on a work trip and last week, this happened last week, and I got home. I was able to go pick him up from daycare. I had gotten back in time and I was like, Graydon, I missed you. And he said, I missed you. And I just could have just fainted, ran off the road in the car like he's like never said that before. And I just it felt genuine.
00:30:48
Speaker
Like I was like, Oh my God, he's never said this. Like I could joke around and say it any day and he would never say it back. But I think me being gone, he was like, I really missed you too. And it was just the cutest thing ever. And if I can ever get him to say, I love you, I love that, which is like maybe here and there, but that was probably my favorite moment so far. That is incredible. I can't wait for that. I know we're not doing that quite yet and I can't wait.
00:31:15
Speaker
Like maybe not one distinct thing, but just watching him become himself is so fun. And like the word starting to come, he's not saying like, I love you or I miss you or anything, but I can tell he's like, you're my mama and I love you. And like, I want to be near you. Um, when he brings the book over and then he like pats my lap with his hand, you know, he's like, I want to get up there. I want to sit with you. Yep.
00:31:43
Speaker
Um, and just things are becoming a little bit more fun. Like we go to the museum, we go to like the splash pad, we're doing our little adventures. And I truly feel like he's becoming my adventure buddy, where I'm like, let's go try this new thing together. And then you'll be like, yeah. And then we do it and we're like,
00:32:01
Speaker
We're buddies. We're experiencing things together and I'm watching him learn and experience and like have fun in life. And it's rewarding. And I know that it's just going to like keep getting more rich in the experiences. So it's really exciting. So true. So cute.
00:32:25
Speaker
Um, mine is just like watching her little brain like explode in her language, like explode. She is so fricking smart. Like she says things and I'm like, how do you know that? Like the construction was happening next door the other day. And so there was like a, they're, they're building a house next door. So there was like construction noises and she went, Oh, noise. And I was like,
00:32:51
Speaker
How do you know that word? And she just says things like and anytime she sees an airplane in the sky, she'll say airplane and like she just says things and I'm like, how do you know that? And like crazy. She just it's so fun to see her like experience the world and like say things that I'm like, I don't even know how you learn that, but cool. Like it's just it's fun. It's really fun. Yeah, it's like
00:33:20
Speaker
you think about having them as a baby, like as a newborn, and you're just like, I just, I don't think you're ever gonna talk. Like that seems so far away. And then over time, like they just start doing stuff and you're like, oh my God, you're doing it. You are doing things like you're running around, you're talking, you're like, we're communicating, you and I, like we're having a little,
00:33:46
Speaker
chat right now. And it feels miraculous. You're just like, oh my God. It's like what everyone says. Started from the bottom and now we're here. Yeah. Every month. They're like, no, this is my favorite month. No, this is my favorite month. And I feel like this year has been the year of his explosion of communication. And I am just like, wow, this is way more fun. Because now he's not getting frustrated with me.
00:34:14
Speaker
He's hilarious. I'm just like, he's so funny. Like every day something, I'm texting Chris like, this guy's a comedian. I love him. He's great. It's so funny. All right. What's next in our life? Yeah, this is sweet. I know. It is sweet. The next one is what small things does your child do that just make your heart melt? A hug.
00:34:37
Speaker
I was gonna say, Alice will give me a kiss and I love that. She'll just lean in and give me a kiss on the mouth and I'm like, please. Those are touching girls. I love you so much.
00:34:49
Speaker
Yeah, I don't get kisses yet. But when I do get a hug, like sometimes when I'm putting him to bed, he'll hug me and he'll like pat my back. Cause I pat his back a lot. He pats my back and like rubs my back like this. Cause that's what I do to him. And I'm like, Oh my God. You're the sweetest boy in the whole.
00:35:10
Speaker
Or he like does peek-a-boo, you know, he like does peek-a-boo while I'm changing his diaper a lot. He'll pull his shirt up over his head and then he'll be like, peek-a-boo. I got this down. Yeah. I feel like the other thing.
00:35:26
Speaker
No, no, I was gonna say like one of the cutest things he's doing right now is he wants a group hug with me and Chris like oh Yeah, it's so funny. I think Chris and I were doing it as like a joke like group hug now
00:35:41
Speaker
But now he wants to do it. Like last night, he did it. Chris was holding him and he was like, huggy. And so then I got up and then we did a group hug and he just squeezes us so tight. And then he laughs. He's like, that was fun. But oh, that's a cute little thing.
00:35:57
Speaker
When was the last moment you thought to yourself, I love this life right now. I have an answer to this. Can we paint a picture? Yeah, I'm going to paint a specific picture here. Those are my great storytellers. So this happened.
00:36:17
Speaker
Probably a couple weeks ago now, but we had we have a book at home that has like a rainbow in it and So she'll point out the rainbow and she'll ask for the rainbow I think she just says bow to be honest like I don't think she says the full word but she'll say bow bow bow and we'll find the page that has a rainbow on it and
00:36:36
Speaker
And so we were leaving the house like after a rainstorm, which obviously in the summer here in Florida is like every day pretty much, but the sky was so pretty. It was like orange and white and like blue. And there was a rainbow in our house and we were leaving the house and I remember I was like in a hurry.
00:36:58
Speaker
Like to get out of the house, like we were trying to get somewhere and we walked out of the house and the sky was just so beautiful. And I looked up and I saw the rainbow and Alice looked up and saw the rainbow and she went bow. Like she saw the rainbow too. And we like, I stopped what I was doing. And I remember I like put down the bag in the grass and I like, we stopped and like admired nature together for a sec. And oh my God, it's going to make me cry.
00:37:27
Speaker
No, that is so cute. It was just one of those. Slow down moment. Yeah, it was like she. Like encouraged me to like stop and notice how beautiful things are and oh my God. It's Candace. No, this is this is very. No, I'm touched. You're going to make me cry.
00:37:50
Speaker
So yeah, that was my moment that I remember like getting like doing that and being like, Oh my God, I love this life with her. I love that. She stops me to slow down and to like notice things that I wouldn't, that I made a rushed past or whatever. So she brightens my day. That's it. Like those moments where you're just like,
00:38:14
Speaker
pulled into the moment by your child. There's like a million things going on. Maybe you're rushing. You're trying to get from point A to point B. Getting in the car is always a stressful moment. And then your kid does something that just pulls you completely into the moment. And that's beautiful, Candice. I love it. Thanks. So sweet. Oh. I'm not following that. I'm sorry.
00:38:47
Speaker
Well, mine is coming home after being away is always like a time where you just are able to really appreciate your life.
00:39:04
Speaker
I don't know. I know in our mom group chat, we've talked a lot about like, it's just so easy to get frustrated with your situation no matter how good it is. Like we're all so blessed and lucky. We have like wonderful families, safe homes, beautiful neighborhoods. Like we have everything, but it's so easy to just let small things get in your head and like make you feel like you're not doing enough or like other people have it better than you and do the comparison game. But.
00:39:35
Speaker
I was away. I had a couple weekends where I was away and I was just gone for a few days and driving home from the airport and like getting to your house and like seeing your house, like turning into the street that your house is on. And then like knowing you're going to be home soon and then pulling into the driveway and seeing my house. I was just like, I love my life. Like I'm so happy to be coming home to this house and going inside.
00:40:05
Speaker
Oh, you know, people who love you the most in your house. You know that they're there for you and like, they're going to be excited to see you too. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago. And I think just being away from home.
00:40:30
Speaker
is good perspective. So I guess this is your sign to book a girls trip. Yeah, go get out of the house for a while. Because then coming home, you just like I just appreciated my life so much and was so excited to see TJ the next morning and see his cute little face and wake him up
00:40:53
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. It's not as clear of a picture as what Candice painted. No, it is. And that was such a beautiful moment. It's so true. Becoming home after a while away. Everyone's so excited to get away and like, just get me out of this routine. And then when the second you're gone, you're like, oh my God, I want nothing more than my routine right now. Yeah. And be back with my family.
00:41:15
Speaker
Sometimes you just have to remove yourself in order to like gain a perspective of gratitude. So that's why I always tell new moms to like, and I know Whitney, you've talked about this too, like about part of feeling like yourself again was like taking that bachelorette trip or that trip you were invited on like to go because it will put things into perspective and give you a sense of gratitude for like the current situation and
00:41:45
Speaker
It is. It's we are all so lucky and blessed to be like where we're at and our you know, we complain a lot. But for the most part, like our lives are so amazing and I wish, you know, this episode is great. I'm going to look at the bright side for a while, you know, until my husband pisses me off. This will last a good three hours. Yeah.
00:42:16
Speaker
Mine was we walked outside and saw a rainbow guy. The one thing that comes to mind for me, if I'm painting a picture here, we went to the lake for the 4th of July and my sister came with my nephews that are twins.
00:42:40
Speaker
and I didn't grow up with young cousins and so just seeing Graydon with cousins and you know everyone says like stop and slow down because you're living the best days of your life and you don't even realize it yet it's like oh my gosh Graydon's at that age where he's playing with his cousins we got the splash pad out and he was just a naked boy like
00:43:04
Speaker
running at the lake, jumping in and out of the water, like just having the best time catching frogs. And I was like, oh, my gosh, these are days I remember growing up at the lake and thought these are so fun. I can't wait to go again. And having him there with family that just adore him to death like it's just.
00:43:25
Speaker
I don't know. So, so sweet. I never really got it before because I'm the youngest in the family. I didn't really have all that. Like everyone else grew up way before me. So having him have family close in age, I just like he's so lucky. And it's so sweet to see. So cousins are so fun. I know. I'm jealous. I have. I do have great cousins. They're also fun. They were just older and I didn't have that childhood experience. So.
00:43:55
Speaker
What a gift you can give Grayden. That's going to be so awesome for him. My siblings really need to get on it. I need them to start making some babies.
00:44:06
Speaker
I know. I mean, there is an age gap. There's about a five ish year age gap right there. But and then Addison, who's older, she's quite a bit older, but she adores Graydon and wants to hold him all the time. And she's just so sweet with with all she's like everyone's favorite because she loves all the boys. Oh, I thought you were going to say because she was the first.
00:44:27
Speaker
Well, she is the I mean, I love the queen. My girl, she's the queen. Oh, she was. Well, that that makes me feel better that they're five years apart and they're still close and like playing because they adore him. They all adore him. Yeah. I feel like my brother is close. Like there's a chance and they're like, I think they'll have kids in the next like three to four years. So hopefully.
00:44:51
Speaker
Hopefully, I get some cousins for Alice. Chris's side of the family, they're so much younger. I'm like, hold on, wait till you're 30 because they're all in that 18, 19 year old range. Oh God, no babies yet. No. We're just going to stick with my side and that's that.
00:45:13
Speaker
It's so fun. Yeah, it'll be nice to like Andrew has so many cousins and having cousins who are like 10 years older than you. That's like an age where you don't know that many people who are like 10 years older than you because it's in between generations. So.
00:45:34
Speaker
It's nice to have somebody who's a relative who can be like a peer, kind of like an older sibling type figure who's not a sibling who has some distance just like in your life. I think that's a really valuable thing to have. I mean, I just foresee the twins going to UT Knoxville and they're going to be graduating college and buying great and beer like crazy. And I'm like,
00:45:58
Speaker
That's all so great to have. No, I'm like, I just see this coming in my future. And I'm like, oh my God, they're going to be so wild. It's going to be really fun.
00:46:09
Speaker
Yeah, it'll be really fun for you. Yeah, I imagine them all bringing their girlfriends home, like to go to the lake. Yeah, it'll be like us in college. Oh, no. Lock all the doors. I was going to say where you have to get up to check in the middle of the night to make sure they're not doing it. Oh, Lord, they're going to be so naughty. It's going to be bad. Who was checking? Was your dad checking on you guys to make sure you weren't doing? No, no, no.
00:46:37
Speaker
No, not really. But like, I'm sure they thought about it. We're a bunch of girls who would like bring our boyfriends back to the lake. Like, I'm sure they thought about it.
00:46:49
Speaker
Better to have them under your own roof, I say. I say that too, right? Yeah. Or is it better to just not know? And I mean, I don't know. Whatever. We were drinking. It was fun. It was good times. Still is. Yeah. Good times. Good times.
Personal Growth Through Motherhood
00:47:03
Speaker
OK. This is the last question. What am I most proud of in my motherhood journey so far? Everything.
00:47:13
Speaker
I want to thank me for me. I feel like. All right, Snoop Dogg. I think I've said this before, but I feel like I've become less selfish in everyday life and that there is just so much like my life is full of effort right now. Like the little things that might not seem like there's a lot of effort, but there's a lot of like planning that goes into the day. A lot of totally.
00:47:43
Speaker
just behind the scenes stuff, me anticipating a tantrum and knowing to avoid a situation and just figuring out my child's needs. Through the meltdowns, I feel like I've tried to learn patience and through all the smiles, I try to learn gratitude and to be grateful in those moments, but being less selfish as in,
00:48:08
Speaker
I don't know, me being the youngest, I always kind of got my way or got what I wanted. And now that my life is focused in other areas, I just feel like I've let that go and things aren't as big of a deal or it just everything revolves around my family now. So I just feel like that's my biggest change in myself so far. I love that.
00:48:31
Speaker
It's great for everyone much better. I think what you said about everything being full of effort is true. Like I think we will truly look back on these times and be like, that was the hardest time of my life. Yeah.
00:48:45
Speaker
And I feel like we're all crushing it. It is hard. But every day you look back at the day and you're like, I did so much. Yeah, like every day is full. Also, just like on a personal note, I feel proud of myself for
00:49:04
Speaker
leaving my job, which was really like hard and big decision, but, and kind of scary. But now that it's been some time, I just feel very proud that I was able to take that step and yeah. Yeah. Choose a different path for a while that I didn't necessarily think.
00:49:24
Speaker
I would choose. I'm proud of you too, Shannon. Yeah. Great mom. Yeah. You're the best mom. Thanks guys. Sweet.
00:49:37
Speaker
I think I feel like there's a lot of things I'm proud of, but I don't know how to say this. I guess I I'm proud of how like real I am. I feel like I feel like in my past life, I really like everything to like look really put together and like.
00:49:56
Speaker
Seem like I've got it all together. That's like been a core value of mine I feel like is like looking good and like like not looking good that sounds like all I care about is how I look but I meant like the the image yeah the image that like Everything's great. I'm doing a great job at everything and Like I have it all together and I think being a mom has allowed me to like let down that like
00:50:26
Speaker
facade and be a little more real. This podcast has definitely helped me with that too, to be like, listen, I don't have it all together and it's okay. And I'm still an amazing mom, even if I don't have a perfect house or a perfect body or I'm still a great mom and a great person.
00:50:50
Speaker
And I think letting down that facade at the same time has allowed me to give myself some grace for the pressure I put on myself. So I'm really proud of that. I think I'm a better mom for it. I think it will be better for Alice to have a mom who is real with people and real about how things are really going.
00:51:19
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like I'm really proud of that. I totally agree. And I think it has made me feel like I give other people more grace too. Yes. I'm just like way more chill and understanding than I used to be. Yeah. I agree. Like seeing other parents in public, I'm like, you got this. We're all on the struggle bus, like unified. I get it.
00:51:45
Speaker
This is really fun and uplifting. Thank you guys for sharing.
Encouraging Gratitude and Reflection
00:51:50
Speaker
And, um, sorry, I cried, but Candace started it with her rainbow, fricking rainbow. Sorry. That was so fun. I encourage all of you listeners to maybe like, take a second and like journal about some of these prompts. We can post them on our Instagram maybe to like,
00:52:09
Speaker
I don't know. I encourage you. I think it'll change your day or your week and just make you appreciate some things that are amazing about motherhood. Like we said in the beginning, I know it's so easy to fall into the like, everything's hard and everything sucks box, but take a trip to the bright side. It's nice over here. It's fuzzy and warm.
00:52:30
Speaker
Oh, I'm going to be using what you said to like turn my perspective on its head if he's asking me to hold. I'm going to try it today. I can't wait. Yeah. I'm going to be happy. The lucky mother.
00:52:44
Speaker
All right, I love it. I love you guys. Have a good day. I love you. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right, gotta go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.