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#118: Lexi Barrett: The power of pilates, purpose, and a career change you didn’t see coming
618 Plays24 days ago
In this episode of The Kate Hamilton Health Podcast, I sit down with Lexi Barrett - Pilates instructor, nutrition coach, and co-founder of Empower Her Retreats - for a powerful conversation on healing, self-worth, and reclaiming health from the inside out. Lexi opens up about her personal battles with mental health, substance abuse, and self-sabotage, and how discovering Pilates and holistic wellness helped her transform her life.
We dive into her journey from life as a high-stress chef in London to launching her new Self-love Club app, which blends Pilates, mindset work, meditation, and nutrition to help women create lasting change. If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, burnout, or finding balance, this episode is full of insight and real-life tools to support your mental and emotional wellbeing.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
[00:00] - Welcome & introduction to Lexi Barrett
[00:17] - Lexi’s backstory: from hospitality burnout to wellness coaching
[03:38] - Transitioning from chef life to a purpose-driven health journey
[07:44] - Why your inner circle matters: surrounding yourself with the right people
[23:22] - Mental health struggles, hitting rock bottom, and finding her way back
[35:31] - The complexity of medication and managing mental wellness
[38:09] - How affirmations and mindset tools support healing
[42:18] - Releasing ego and rewriting personal identity
[47:15] - Breaking the cycle of self-sabotage
[53:47] - Falling in love with Pilates and finding clarity through movement
[58:16] - The key differences between Pilates and yoga
[01:02:21] - Behind the creation of the Self-love Club app
[01:04:28] - Final thoughts and inspiration to start your wellness journey
Links & Resources:
- Connect with Lexi on Instagram here
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends who might benefit. For more health and fitness tips, follow me on Instagram and TikTok @katehamiltonhealth.
Music b LiQWYD Free download: hypeddit.com/link/xxtopb [http://hypeddit.com/link/xxtopb] Promoted by FreeMusicPromo [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbycji-eySnM3WD8mbxPUSQ] / @freemusicpromo
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Overview
00:00:09
Speaker
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Kate Hamilton Health Podcast. So today's episode, I chat with Lexi Barrett. Lexi is a Pilates instructor, nutrition coach and co-founder of Empower Her Retreats, a luxury wellness experience designed to help women transform their relationship with fitness, food and self-love.
Lexi's Personal Transformation Journey
00:00:30
Speaker
Her journey into wellness began with personal struggles, including mental health challenges, substance abuse and self-worth issues. Through movement and holistic wellness, she's completely transformed her life and now dedicates her work to help young women navigate similar challenges, mainly through Pilates, nutrition and mindset coaching.
00:00:48
Speaker
Lexi is currently developing the Self Love Club, which is a wellness and fitness app that will offer everything from Pilates and movement to nutrition, meditation and mindset shifts.
00:00:59
Speaker
She also creates online wellness content, blending education with a fun and relatable approach to self-care fitness and maintaining a healthy, balanced relationship with nutrition and with alcohol.
00:01:10
Speaker
So we have the most amazing conversation. We had it a little early, so I feel like I kind of wake up a little bit through the episode. Hopefully you don't notice. You will now because I've said it. But we chat about everything from mental health, alcohol, disconnection from true self, growth, relationships, movement and Pilates.
00:01:28
Speaker
I really, really enjoyed this conversation and it really has set me up for the day after talking with Lexi. And I really do hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Life in London and Bali Experience
00:01:41
Speaker
Lexi, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me. We finally got to this. We did attempt to do this a few weeks back, but I'm glad now that we can hear each other properly that we can do it properly now.
00:01:52
Speaker
I know, I'm thrilled. Thank God for good internet. Yeah, it's amazing. We really do take internet for granted but until it starts acting up and then we're like, oh, this is what life used to be like. Yes, absolutely. I've just run into that issue with my internet as well for uploading stuff for the app. And I'm like, oh my God, I've learned so much about upload speeds and download speeds, which are different, apparently. So I'm so excited. Thanks for having me.
00:02:16
Speaker
You are very welcome. So whereabouts are you living? I live in London currently. We are in South East London in Greenwich. It's so lovely by the park. But I'm originally from Canada. Obviously, I don't sound English. And I've been here going to my third year living in England, which is crazy.
Career Shift from Chef to Wellness
00:02:33
Speaker
Amazing. And you're just back from Bali. Am I right?
00:02:36
Speaker
Yeah, ah just got back, I think three, four weeks now, which feels just like yesterday. am I'm ready to go back. But we landed back home and I went right back into teaching and work and everything. So I feel like I haven't even had a second to relax and enjoy the time that I was in Bali. It was right back into it.
00:02:54
Speaker
And you were doing a retreat, was it? You were, how long were you there for? i was in Bali for a month, which was incredible. And we were there for a retreat. We had our first long haul destination wellness retreat in Bali.
00:03:06
Speaker
And it was so beautiful, so magical. Eight whole days in a beautiful villa with amazing women, 16 of us. Oh, wow. Amazing. Yeah. So I suppose, would you like to tell everyone a little bit about you and what you do first?
00:03:21
Speaker
And then maybe we'll go back. and talk a little bit about your journey as well. Yeah, absolutely. So I am just a girl trying to find her best version of herself. And that has kind of transpired into this new career in wellness. I'm a Pilates instructor and a certified nutrition coach, which is so crazy cool because My past life is what I i like to refer it to as I was ah i was a chef for seven years in Canada. So I've done a full 180 coming into this wellness world. I essentially wanted a career where I felt it was more rewarding for myself and I was able to impact people in a positive way and and change lives.
00:04:04
Speaker
So when I moved to England, i had kind of a reset and what did i really want to do for the rest of my life and where would I feel most fulfilled? And I
Wellness Career and App Development
00:04:13
Speaker
absolutely fell in love with Pilates and obviously being a chef, nutrition kind of went hand in hand. So I enrolled myself into course and few years later, here I am. and it's been an incredible journey. Now I get to help women, educate them, inspire them to feel their best.
00:04:32
Speaker
I know that I came from a place of a lot of self doubt and struggles and mental health issues. and what really helped is really dialing in my own wellness routine, which was finding a way that moving away in my body felt really, really good. And I was excited every day, feeding myself really good food, surrounding myself with the right type of people, just putting myself in an environment that was a healthy environment, which is something I struggled to do for many years.
00:04:59
Speaker
So that kind of transpired into this whole career of mine now where I'm doing retreats and building an app and I'm a wellness professional and I'm teaching Pilates all over the world. It's really crazy journey and how it kind of all happened and unfolded.
00:05:12
Speaker
Yeah, that's amazing because don't chefs have that kind of stereotypical idea of like, you know, that it's really so like high stress, really kind of, you know, angry kitchen, like really unhealthy kind of environment, kind of like vibes.
00:05:24
Speaker
And I know that no that's the stereotype, obviously, of, you know, like what that kind of kitchen life is. i I'm just thinking Gordon Ramsay here, like, but you know. get out of my kitchen. but alive But it's not really a stereotype like that stereotype exists for real because it's so true though. It is it is such a stressful environment. but
Breaking Away from Unhealthy Environments
00:05:44
Speaker
I'm sure a lot of people like know this like from you know like I know this from when I was in college and I worked in hotels like serving breakfast or whatever you know I you know as a waitress and I also kind of did like cleaning rooms and stuff but when I was working at a breakfast yeah being in and out of the kitchen and the yeah the kitchen was a stressful place and sometimes you'd be kind of sneaking in then at lunchtime to get your bits and like they'd be getting ready for lunch and everything would just be so stressful and I was like oh my god
00:06:07
Speaker
What's happening? I know. The anxiety is high and the voices are loud. It's a big ego thing too, because most of them are men. So it's a little bit of a competition and being, I was actually one of the only females in the kitchen that I was working at, which was equal parts empowering and scary all in one. But I absolutely loved my career as a chef. I loved culinary school.
00:06:27
Speaker
I really honestly only became a chef to kind of prove to someone who was a friend of mine who said, Lexi, you'll never be a chef. No one will take you seriously. And I was like, I'll show you. so I ended up enrolling myself into school and I did it. And he ate his words many years later. It's actually a very funny story, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could do hard things.
00:06:46
Speaker
And I think along the way, I really lost that passion. purpose that I had where I believed in myself so deeply that I could do the things that were challenging. And I think I got very lost in being a chef because I started to surround myself with maybe not the best people and develop some pretty unhealthy habits. I mean, I worked so much. All we wanted to do was just go for beers after and just kind of shoot the shit and talk about the day. And then we go to bed and we wake up and do it all over again. So the habits that I was building weren't ones that were sustainable.
00:07:17
Speaker
So over a period of time, you eventually burn out. yeah And that was kind of the place that I ended up. As much as I loved my job, I was kind of thriving on that stress and anxiety.
00:07:28
Speaker
And so without the chaos, I was kind of like, oh, what am I supposed to do? There was definitely breaking from me where I was like, I don't know if I can do this forever. and obviously not, because here I am living in England teaching Pilates like the most lovely women every single day.
00:07:44
Speaker
But what you said about surrounding yourself... with the right people. Like it is so true. Like we often think like, oh my God, I can't believe I lost myself in that situation. It is so easy
Impact of Social Connections on Growth
00:07:56
Speaker
to to lose yourself in a situation, which is why I think it's so important that if you are going to lose yourself a little bit, like in inverted commas, that having the right people around you is really, really important because we all get busy. We all, you know, dive into our careers and We all also just want to feel accepted as well. And I think it's detrimental to our personal development and to our health, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's literally us trying to look after ourselves when we get lost in in situations that maybe aren't that helpful for us.
00:08:31
Speaker
And I can totally relate to that, to the working hard, then, you know, drinking hard and just doing it on repeat and yeah being burnt out without realizing it because you think you're getting good sleep, but you've had a few drinks and you haven't. And then you're up early and you're working from early to nighttime. And it's very, very taxing on your body, really. And your mind. For And it's so easy to fall into that pattern because i think that there's just such a rush and a thrill. It's almost like that reward system because I get to leave work and I get to have a couple of drinks. We get to hash it out, have a laugh, and then it's fine. I'm going to go back tomorrow. And I've kind of released that stress or pent up energy about it all. But the point about, i would love to touch on that again, surrounding yourself with the right people. And this is something that I've really started to
00:09:17
Speaker
speak about a lot more and really dive into in my own personal life. Because
Life Changes and Personal Growth
00:09:22
Speaker
I lived in Canada my whole life, I had pretty much all the same friends and did the same thing over and over on repeat.
00:09:30
Speaker
It wasn't until I obviously left my environment that I was like, oh, my normal group of people, my my support system isn't here anymore. And I kind of have to navigate meeting friends later in my 20s and what's that look like being in a new relationship and whatnot and it was actually the best thing I could have done for myself like I have my two core very good best friends back home but everybody else like where are they now and they made maybe might listen to this podcast I don't know if they were ever truly friends and they were people that
00:10:03
Speaker
I surrounded myself with because we had things in common and we're party friends and we could have fun together. But when I moved here, it wasn't until I really started to make good friends. People I surrounded myself with, the people I wanted to be most like, the people that were driven and successful and asked the great questions and challenged me. And that is when I was like, whoa There are people in this world who want the best for you and they can be your sound and boards and you can have a good time with them. And we can go have a coffee and a pastry instead of going for drinks at happy hour. And next thing you know, it's like midnight.
00:10:39
Speaker
I didn't know friends like that existed. So my biggest focus as I get older is there's a bit of a in ah interview process that they don't know that they're falling into when I meet people because are you going to be good for my own mental health? And are you going to support me and my goals and my dreams? Are you someone I want to surround myself with because my time and my energy is really special and surrounding myself with the people I want to most be like, because they're the ones that are going to help me get to where I want to go. Not the people that I'm obviously out having a great time with a great time. As far as that goes, that's all it is a great time. So
00:11:13
Speaker
That is something that I think is just so important and so underrated as well. Like we get so stuck with being with the same people that we've been friends with since we were four years old. But if these individuals aren't providing much value to our life anymore, and it's almost taxing to have that relationship, why do we hold on to relationships that don't serve us anymore?
00:11:32
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's something that I'm really learning kind of the older I get. I make myself sound so old. The older I get, the more I discover. No, what I really kind of have noticed is how much it holds you back when you hold on to friendships.
00:11:50
Speaker
and relationships in adulthood because you're terrified of being alone or you're terrified of not fitting in. And it's funny, like I see this all the time with grown adults in their like 30s, 40s, 50s, and they have these like toxic friendships that literally mimic relationships.
00:12:11
Speaker
what it's like and in school. And I find that fascinating. And another thing that I've learned as I've gotten older, I've become much more introverted. Now, I think a lot of that kind of happened by accident when I kind of just started building a business and stuff. you could You kind of end up like only having time for the absolute necessary. And what I've noticed is, and it's kind of sad, sometimes people are not in your life People you thought that are going to be in your life for your whole life only end up being there for season.
00:12:40
Speaker
but I find that quite sad sometimes because I would have been someone who like liked to cling on to everything, being like, you know, I'll miss anything or anyone if they're not there. But it's like as you're growing and as you're like, nothing's supposed to be static. youre So you're supposed to be moving all the time, moving and growing and learning. And obviously life changes, you change and circumstances will change and people will come and go.
00:13:01
Speaker
But what I've also learned getting older again is That some people heard that, older hands, so old, is that people be can be there for a season and then they can be gone for a while. But then sometimes they come back around as well.
00:13:13
Speaker
And that's nice. So what I've learned is nothing's final now, even if I distance myself from somebody because I'm like, this person isn't good for me. What I've learned is sometimes that person can grow and change or you can grow and change further. And then you your paths can cross again and you meet in a different capacity.
00:13:30
Speaker
And that's kind of cool. I totally agree with you. you know Growing up, my mom always used to say reason, season, lifetime. As when people come into your life, they might be there forever. They might be there for that season to teach you a lesson. And I remember like, oh, mom, whatever. like And I think at the time, I didn't really understand that. But I
Authenticity on Social Media
00:13:50
Speaker
agree, like as I'm also maturing and getting older, I mean, I'm 30 in September, so I still feel like I'm 18 sometimes. But I'm pretty to the point of my life where there's actually no more excuses.
00:14:00
Speaker
And I've realized that throughout my twenties, there were so many, i had so many friends and and it just felt so awesome to feel like I belonged and I i was accepted, but really it was the saying kind of like misery loves company. I think a lot of these people were just, we were friends because we either worked together or we had the same common interest of of drinking together and I'm so okay with having lost those individuals but to the point that you said like I had some girl message me um her name's Jules actually we were friends when we were like 12 13 years old think a few months ago it was now maybe a bit more time's flying on me message me being like and you popped up and I was thinking about you and I kind I found you online and just everything you're doing is so amazing and I'm so proud of you and I was like whoa
00:14:48
Speaker
blast from
Mental Health Journey and Self-Care
00:14:49
Speaker
the past, how good is it to hear from you and like she's doing incredible. And it's just I think one of those amazing things about life, it is so fluid and we're forever evolving. And it's really awesome to kind of accept that we are going to change and I'm different today than I was yesterday. And I just constantly pushing that needle forwards there, like the greater good for myself, like how can I be the best version of myself and people I surround myself are going to help me get there.
00:15:15
Speaker
And I'm also so grateful for the lessons that I've learned along the way, because without those, I mean, I i also wouldn't be here. So just trying to like accept that whatever's happened has happened and who you're becoming is going to be the best version of you and just being okay with how you got there and not putting too much pressure on yourself or being too hard on yourself because your journey looked a certain way, which I did for a long time. I was like, oh, well.
00:15:39
Speaker
I was bit of a drunk and I was a bit of a mess and I was never good enough. But I mean, i just need to be good enough for myself. I don't need to be good enough for anybody else. And then the people that see that you want to be the best version yourself will flock to you.
00:15:53
Speaker
You kind of attract what you're putting out there. So this is what I've been learning over the last few years. It's been enlightening. Yeah. I think that's such a necessary part of like growing up though. And I think most people, there's always, you know, exceptions, but most of us, like, you I don't feel like we're not fully developed until we're 30. I was like, I don't know why we get to be called adults at 18. We shouldn't be.
00:16:15
Speaker
You're so not ready me now. I am not prepared for life at all. Yeah. No, I think it's definitely your late 20s before you really start to be like, oh, maybe I don't want to drink every night anymore. Maybe I don't want to do this or... yeah ah but Why have I been doing this the whole time? Is it just because my friends are doing it?
00:16:35
Speaker
And then you start to question what you actually want and start focusing on things that. But I think that like literally, I think i've read i I have read that it is literally when your brain does not develop in that way until you hit about 30. So it's all part of development. And I think you've touched on a really important point about being kind to yourself about your journey, because like, do you know anyone who's done anything
Kate's Coaching Services
00:16:58
Speaker
significantly great in the world that hasn't had a difficult backstory?
00:17:01
Speaker
Like who's perfect? Like what perfect person has come onto this planet and done everything perfectly from childhood all the way to adulthood and never made a mistake? Like no one, because that's literally how we learn. It's how we grow.
00:17:13
Speaker
So it's what we do with all the times we fall down. And what we learn from it is what actually matters. I just wanted to interrupt the podcast for a moment to talk to you a little bit about Kate Hamilton Health online coaching.
00:17:29
Speaker
So we have two coaching options available. We have our elite coaching and we have our group coaching service. Our elite coaching service is bespoke individualized coaching, which will help you to finally break free from diet culture with one to one anytime support from your coach and with access to a safe, supportive community.
00:17:51
Speaker
This is a higher ticket coaching option and the coaching is by application only. If you go to my website, KateHamiltonHealth.com, you will be able to apply for elite coaching through there and we will be in touch to organise a call and to get you up and running.
00:18:07
Speaker
In relation to our group coaching, our group coaching starts on the first Monday of every month. When it's full each month, we do close the doors. With the group coaching is about building the habits, body and energy of the healthiest version of yourself and finally make it stick. We include personalised calories and portions, food lists, recipes, recipes,
00:18:30
Speaker
Meal plan ideas, step goals, home or gym based workouts, depending on what you want, changed every eight weeks. Mindset work, app access. So that's the Kate Hamilton Health app, which will be your hub for everything.
00:18:42
Speaker
Weekly yoga classes, WhatsApp group community, weekly group Q&A with myself, fun challenges, daily habits form, weekly self check in, fortnightly check ins with people.
00:18:54
Speaker
your coach, a library full of lifestyle guides, a library full of lessons, seminars, and all of this is updated regularly. We have weekly group Zoom calls with myself and the team, regular guest seminars where we get experts on to talk more to you about different topics that we need experts on for.
00:19:13
Speaker
And then we have in-person events twice a year that you will get at a major discount as being a member of the Kate Hamilton Health community. As I said, this starts the first Monday of every month. If you go to my website, KateHamiltonHealth.com, you will see when the next group coaching intake is starting for you. So we close
Trauma, Success, and Growth
00:19:34
Speaker
the doors as soon as that intake is full or the Monday before the group coaching starts so usually that last monday of the previous month so if you head over to kate hamilton health.com all of that information that i've talked through is on the website you'll be able to book your spot for the next intake there and i will chat to you all then exactly it's mic drop literally exactly that i mean
00:20:01
Speaker
I feel like the more trauma you experienced is usually the more success you have when you really like dive in, hone in on that healing process from all of the people that I've listened to from podcasts, professionals, doctors, specialists in different fields is like even a lot of endurance athletes, people that have experienced hardships in their lives and want more for themselves really dive so deeply into, okay, this is what happened to me. This is almost like a fire inside of me to be like, I want to be the best version of myself and I am going to get there. And I'm going to use all of these amazing tools life has to offer to achieve all the things that I want. And it's so amazing watching these people just succeed and inspire other individuals. But on the other side of the coin, you kind of have people who portray such a perfect person.
00:20:49
Speaker
life And I think that's my biggest struggle with social media and why I try to be as like genuine and and real as I can on my platform because it's so unrealistic to attain that perfect aesthetic lifestyle, body, your meals even looking like the most beautiful plated things ever. I mean, even as a chef, I laugh sometimes I'm like, I just throw whatever on the plate and I don't even care.
00:21:14
Speaker
And people often get this that want to to achieve all these things, get this expectation into their head that it has to look a certain way to be able to achieve the things that they want to. And if it doesn't, they're not going to get there, which I think is so untrue. Like more simple it is. i think the better it is for everybody.
00:21:32
Speaker
and that's at least I can speak to that in my own experience. The more simple I kept it for myself, the easier it was to follow, the easier it was to follow through on all of the things that I wanted to achieve. Perfectionism is the worst form procrastination.
00:21:50
Speaker
You're waiting for perfection. You're going to be waiting forever because, you know, oh, I'll wait, I'll wait and I'll do this when this happens or, oh, that's not good enough for me to put out into the world. It's again, like what I said there about in your 20s, you know, making mistakes and learning from it. and
Genuine Connections vs Online Personas
00:22:03
Speaker
You know, you it helps you become who you are.
00:22:05
Speaker
It's the same with whatever project you're working on or like stop waiting for perfect. Just get started and learn along the way. That's literally what I'm doing with my life. I'm like, you know, it it's funny when I start putting things out online and I'm really not good with attention to detail or perfectionism or like I remember when people started watching my videos being like, what do they actually like about this It's just me here like talking, yeah talking shit. Well, talking whatever like i'm talking about. But, you know, really be like, there's not a whole lot of like physical effort put into this video. And I heard so many people be like, oh, you need to have this light and you need to have you know' having nice neutral background. And I'm like my cluttered kitchen. And, you know, and then I realized that people actually crave
00:22:48
Speaker
authenticity and just you being yourself. So it's this Instagram world of perfection and comparison that so everyone is now looking at. And I think it was more of an issue a couple of years ago because I think now people see through it and they're just yeah looking for normal people. And I think when TikTok kind of came out and then the whole idea of Reels and then you're scrolling and, you know, rather than just that grid, Instagram, I think has started to change that and make it a little bit okay for things to be less perfect on social media.
00:23:20
Speaker
Thank God for that. Let's talk a little bit about mental
In-depth on Mental Health and Vulnerability
00:23:23
Speaker
health. but Like I have my own experiences with struggles with mental health, but i think when we struggle with our mental health and like I got to let you talk about your your experience and your thoughts on it all as well. But we have our true self and we have our ego and our ego is very necessary to navigate this complicated world. Keeps us alive.
00:23:43
Speaker
But if we allow our ego to grow so far away from our true self, that's when we end up in trouble with mental health. And when I say our ego, I think the misconception that people have with ego is, oh, it's about being arrogant and, you know, like showing off. It was like, that's not what an ego is. An ego is basically your personality. It's how you perceive yourself, how you think other people perceive yourself. It's your armor that you put up to protect yourself in the world.
00:24:08
Speaker
We all have one. And if we end up in a situation where we lose our true selves a little bit and we nearly become that that avatar, that ego that that we have constructed, even like without realising we've constructed it, is when we struggle because we're constantly trying to live up to something that isn't actually us.
00:24:27
Speaker
What's your experience? I'm finally in a place, start that on a positive note, finally living in ah in a place mentally where I very rarely struggle with the issues that I do have, which is pretty incredible. And I think I need to reflect a little bit more on that sometimes and be really proud of the distance I've gone. And obviously it's for me, my mental health has been an issue since I was a little girl.
00:24:52
Speaker
It started with really bad anxiety that turned and manifested itself into pretty bad depression. And then depression that only got worse due to alcohol and substance abuse and putting myself in an environment that was not conducive to the lifestyle that I wanted to live. And I like what you said about The ego is I wanted to become someone else. I always wanted to try to fit in to this mold and be this person that I thought everybody else wanted me to be. And I i don't even think I really knew who Lexi was until much later on and in my twenty s and
00:25:28
Speaker
When I was 20 years old, that is when my mental health was really, really at its worst. I really struggled with suicidal thoughts for quite a long time until it was ah point where i hit complete rock bottom at 21 years old and unfortunately ended up in New York.
00:25:46
Speaker
a hospital for a few weeks to be monitored and work with a therapist to kind of navigate the struggles that I was having. And it turned out that it was really just because I had, in Canada, it's called a borderline personality disorder.
00:26:00
Speaker
So I don't have two different personalities, but I have really highs and lows of my emotional regulation. And I feel so deeply and I can get very overwhelmed with my emotions that are going on and then get really down on myself and then have a really bad dip. And then that dip is just a series of negative thoughts. And then I get really, really high again and things are really, really great. So it was going up and down for years. And obviously that that had a really negative impact on my development, my growth. And obviously it was a lot easier for me to hide behind a mask of drinking and my job and surrounding myself with people that did nothing for me than actually getting to the root of the problem and working on it.
00:26:43
Speaker
And I really didn't do that till much later in my twenties, unfortunately. and upon reflection, I look back, I'm like, oh, why didn't I take this seriously? Like I was so unwell. My parents tried to help, pushed me into the right direction. And I just ran away because I was so afraid of dealing with what was going on inside. And I didn't want to be different.
00:27:02
Speaker
I didn't wanna be the girl that had a disorder that was weird, that struggled because it wasn't really spoken about so much like five, 10 years ago. Whereas now i feel really proud of myself that I can open up and talk about like, these are the struggles I had.
00:27:18
Speaker
I will always have a personality disorder. However, it's up to me to let that manifest in my day-to-day life. Now, when my life becomes very cluttered and chaotic and I'm not managing my time well I'm not sleeping well, then of course those little voices and demons start to creep in again.
00:27:37
Speaker
But it's up to me to be like, hey Lex, What do you got going on this week? How can we manage your schedule so you aren't going to go down that rabbit hole again? I used to drive my mom nuts because I wouldn't listen to her and she'd use this phrase called you'd be spiraling. And as I got older, I realized I was actually spiraling. And as a mom, I'm sure it was really tough to watch your daughter kind of go through this vortex of we're not doing good to getting worse to getting worse, then eventually end up at at a crash and burn point.
00:28:06
Speaker
Whereas now I get to really see those moments of, ah okay, Lex is about to spiral a little bit, let's reel it back. So with some really amazing therapy, a lot of deep diving work um and self work that I do on a daily basis to kind of keep those demons locked up.
00:28:21
Speaker
I really shouldn't call them demons. It's just a part of who I am, but I've learned how to manage that. But it's not as much of a battle every day, but it was a battle for for a very long time, over 10 years.
00:28:32
Speaker
And it was about learning how to manage that mental health. Now, everybody struggles with something differently when it comes to mental health. So my method's not necessarily the right method, but I do really believe in finding daily movement and nourishing your body with the right food and just accepting who you are and finding ways to work through it. I think that that could probably work for everybody.
00:28:53
Speaker
It's been tough. I mean, I think if I had this conversation with you years ago, I'd probably be bawling my eyes out. But, you know, it's something that I've lived with and and it's something that I can openly speak about now and be like, hey,
00:29:05
Speaker
This is who I am, but it does not define me, which I felt for years it did define who I was. And I think that's why i hid for so long. And it's so natural to hide such pain because that's what it is at the end of the day. Anyone listening who's struggling in any different way, that fear, those demons, that it's it's the pain inside us. It can be so unbearable that this is why therapy is so necessary. I think, you know, when when the pain can be so deep and you can completely not understand why am I in so much pain? Why?
00:29:35
Speaker
Like, there's no reason why I should. like So why do we always have to analyze something and always have a reason for everything? If you're in pain and you are creating habits and behaviors, to try and avoid dealing with the pain or if you are literally spiralling and falling apart because you're being consumed by it, stop trying to do it by yourself. Like the only bit of advice that I think I like to give around mental health, because obviously, you know, I think that it's really, really important to, yeah, to...
00:30:02
Speaker
go to a doctor and kind of, you know, let them take over a little bit and help you. But if the pain is that strong, stop trying to do it by yourself because you don't have to. And there is a way through it and there is a way to really like for this to become your superpower. But you do need help in order to do that. And I just wanted to say that because I think that's amazing that you got that help.
00:30:22
Speaker
And what I love that you're you're saying here as well is it's not this after story. Like it's not like, oh, I'm cured. I had a personality disorder and I'm cured. You can be cured too. That's not what you're saying. You're like, I spent a lot of time in therapy. I i faced my pain.
00:30:36
Speaker
I worked through my pain. And now I know when I'm being triggered and I know how to manage my pain. I can use it to make a beautiful life for myself and to help others.
00:30:48
Speaker
Exactly. That is something to cry about. That's up in in a good way, though. It is. And it's, I love having these conversations when girls come into my DMs and be like, Lex, I'm really struggling with this and the way that I view myself and my body image and how, like, what are some tools that you could give me to to manage the way that I view myself and like, it's really impacting my mental health and That always breaks my heart when I get these DMs because I hate to think that there's other people out there who live with that pain and and you've totally hit that word, Kate. Like it is pain and it's the worst kind of pain because it feels so inescapable in the moment. It's how do I even deal with that pain? But one
00:31:32
Speaker
Never underestimate the value of a good therapist. And I'm sorry, I'll get back to the DM point earlier I had, I've just have a tangent now. I've had friends of mine who have gone through some issues and breakups and whatnot. Not only did I point them to Kelly, but I'm like, go get a good therapist. And it's, I can't afford a good therapist.
00:31:48
Speaker
I understand that therapy is expensive and somebody's time is expensive to obviously have to listen and help you navigate what's going on. But if you really were honest with yourself, you probably could afford it. You probably just have to stop spending money on things that really aren't going to help you.
00:32:08
Speaker
And the other part is there's so many amazing resources out there. I mean, for me, my very, very good therapist was like psychologist was very expensive through insurance. That's how I received her. But there's apps like BetterHelp therapy apps that cost maybe like a five or a 10 or a month where you can talk to a counselor and still kind of work through and navigate what's going on, which is a really great starting point and can kind of help.
00:32:34
Speaker
drive that path of where you kind of want to go with the help that you need based on like your own and individual needs. And obviously talking to a doctor really helps with that. But just like talking to somebody, you don't need the fanciest shmanciest therapist out there.
00:32:48
Speaker
You can talk to a registered local counselor or somebody that's on an app and just be like, this is how I'm feeling. And I'm feeling quite sad. And I don't really know how to navigate how I'm feeling. It doesn't need to be the most expensive thing in the world.
00:33:01
Speaker
You don't have to have a reason for your feelings. Like, you know, but yeah pushing it down, being like, oh well, I can't talk to anyone. Like, I shouldn't feel like this. Nothing. I've had no trauma. Nothing bad's happened to me. Nothing. Like, I remember having this feeling like with i had really bad anxiety disorder in my early twenties, really bad, like daily panic attacks, really kind of debilitating stuff.
00:33:21
Speaker
Like that, lots of therapy. I was on medication for a period of time as well. And I remember like the shame it was done. It was for me, it was shame because it was like, what have you got to be anxious and panicked about? Nothing bad has happened in your life. Like you don't have any trauma. Like it was like downplaying. It's like, you know, everything you're tick, you tick all the boxes on paper. Your life is perfect.
00:33:42
Speaker
Yeah. because I was living the avatar because I was living that ego that, you know, I wasn't being true to me and everyone around me was so supportive and amazing and I had had a great life but inside me, I wasn't being me and it's amazing how much pain that can create without and like,
00:34:00
Speaker
be and when you're that young you're so unaware of it as well you're so unaware of being detached from yourself that you don't even know that that's what it is and like this is only stuff that I can look at like at age 38 now look back and be like that all makes so much sense now and I think when it's an emotional pain as well people around you people who love you that are around you and people who you know are just in your life you know that you work with or that you're surrounded like people don't understand a lot they understand more now but like Back when I like my first panic attack would have been 2007.
00:34:31
Speaker
Like, so no one really understood mental health that well. You know, like people were like, Kate, what is wrong with you? Yeah. It was like, what what's wrong with me? And I have an issue with labels. So like you saying that you have a personality disorder.
00:34:45
Speaker
I don't like that that has to be. a thing because my my doctor was like diagnosed me with panic disorder at the same time I was relieved because I was like oh it's a thing it's I'm not alone so it helped at the time it's a thing I'm not alone that means I can get better all right you know that someone else has had this I'm not I'm not a freak because I did feel very alone but I also think that when when there's a label put onto it and it's called a disorder it's like how about it's just your pain that you've got to navigate and find a way to make the world better.
00:35:19
Speaker
Yeah. I love that outlook. We should put that on a t-shirt, honestly, because it's so true. log written I've upgraded things short. aa You are not alone.
00:35:31
Speaker
and no I love that. I remember when I received my diagnosis and I cried and they're like, you're going to have to probably be on medication for the rest of your life. And I was like, wait, what? I'm just like emotionally dysregulated. Like, I don't think that that's necessary. And medication can be a really fantastic tool to help with mental health, depending what you're you're going through. And for me, it was the worst possible thing for me.
00:35:57
Speaker
i had been on a few different ones that literally made me so far removed from who I was. And I was already pretty far removed from who I was because the self-identity was something that I did not have. I did not know who Lexi was.
00:36:11
Speaker
Who I was going to slap me across the face. I was like, oh, what was that? Like I would have found not a clue. And then putting me on medication made it so much worse. I just became such a zombie of myself.
00:36:22
Speaker
And I had fought with my doctors and my parents about being like, I can't, I can't take this medication. well we'll try a different one. And I try a different one. And it was the same thing. I'd be like napping in the middle of the day and I'd be so tired and lethargic and just,
00:36:38
Speaker
that feeling of being in touch with yourself, that happiness was just so gone. And i had finally decided to come off medication many years later, which was, I think, the real starting point of me trying to navigate this on my own, obviously with the help of a therapist and being in in a safe, controlled environment. But It was really that point where it's like, no, I'm an advocate for myself.
00:37:02
Speaker
I know what my body needs. I might not know how to achieve all the things that I want to. I've got some tools to use now and let's just keep trying and keep pushing myself forward, which kind of brings me back to the point about when these young women message me, like, what are some things that I can do? And it's like, well, one, I would encourage you to to speak to somebody to really help you navigate how you're deeply feeling. But these are some of the tools that I have used over the last 10 years of me trying to figure it out and fight for my life.
00:37:33
Speaker
Why don't you give them a try? And there's like the simplest things that you can do. First, literally go to the dollar store and just get yourself a little journal. Doesn't need to be fancy. And write out how you're feeling.
00:37:44
Speaker
And then now we have this amazing thing called ChatGPT where you can literally put in how you're feeling and ChatGPT can give you journal prompts. If you're struggling with like body image issues, I've literally been like, I have taken my mirrors down.
00:37:57
Speaker
I have covered them up with towels to not look at myself. So I don't nitpick everything that's going on until I feel I'm in a better head space where I can look at myself and be like, you're pretty and you are enough.
00:38:09
Speaker
And the other thing is affirmations. And I know we feel so silly doing it. and It's not like I high five myself in the mirror every day. and I actually don't really do it during the day anymore. More it's nighttime, but I kind of remind myself. It's like a little mantra to myself. Like I am enough and I am creating the life of my dreams and I can do all these things that I want to achieve.
00:38:28
Speaker
Tomorrow's a new day. Try again tomorrow. Like you are your biggest supporter or you can be your biggest downfall. So it's up to you to choose how you want to get there. And and I know it's easier said than done, but like be so delusional about who you want to be and who you want to become and start acting and behaving with that version of yourself and start doing the things that that version of yourself will do. And you will get there. It's not going to happen overnight, but over time you will.
00:38:55
Speaker
And for me, that was like, the most powerful thing I could have done. So that's usually the advice i give. They're like, oh, okay, thank you. And then five, six weeks later, I'll get a message back being like, I'm doing so well.
00:39:07
Speaker
Thank you so much for that advice. It's really so simple. Who knew that something like journaling could help me? And I was like, right? I had no idea either. Like, this is an awesome tool and it's free and you don't have to pay for that, but you have to be committed to doing it for yourself you have to at least get it in every couple days especially when you're feeling like it you can't just do it one time be like oh my problems are all fixed show up for yourself every day well i suppose if you're feeling a certain way it's being caused by your thoughts if you don't understand your thoughts how are you possibly supposed to be able to change them or you know steer them in a direction that's more helpful so that you feel better about yourself so it's
00:39:48
Speaker
like journaling is something that we, yeah, we do within my coaching program as well. It's just, it's so important to understand our habits and to understand our thought patterns in a non-judgmental way.
00:40:00
Speaker
And it can be a little bit shocking at first. You can be like, oh my God, i didn't realize I thought so harshly about myself, let's say. yeah And I actually did an exercise recently ah in this course I was doing and I was having a bad day as it was. But what I drew and wrote down I was shocked at how negative it was.
00:40:18
Speaker
It was a real ego day where the ego was allowed to to kind of take over and, you know, I was just stressed out and it wasn't a good day. And I was like, wow, I thought I was past this. And it just made me realise that we're never fully better. We're never fully healed. Like there's always going to be something niggling in the background that's trying to pull us back.
00:40:38
Speaker
And what
Self-Discovery and Identity
00:40:39
Speaker
it is, is like always back to that true self and ego. It's your ego trying to keep you safe because so if something feels uncomfortable, that doesn't mean you need to shy away from it. It probably means you need to gently push forward and be like, oh, I wonder, wonder what's on the other side of this fear?
00:40:54
Speaker
Because it's probably pretty, pretty amazing. But in relation to the mirror and affirmations, what I find really, really helpful, and especially if you're sister anyone listening, you're like, I'm someone who really doesn't like to look in the mirror.
00:41:05
Speaker
You don't need to look at yourself like your whole body. You don't even need to look at your face. But like when you're brushing your teeth or whatever, look at yourself in the mirror, but look right into your eyes. Like go up really close. Look right into your eyes and literally say, good morning.
00:41:18
Speaker
I see you. But you're looking into your eyes. You're looking into your soul. And it is the most powerful thing. is You're not actually looking at your facial features. are You can. You can take a little zoom back and look at your facial features if you want.
00:41:30
Speaker
But it's about looking in to you. And it's really, really powerful. And if you just do it every good morning, I see you. It just gives you that moment to connect with yourself. Oh, I love that. I'm going to be umvi adding that to my little morning routine. That's that's beautiful, Kate.
00:41:46
Speaker
Wow. Good morning. I see you. We all just want to be seen. We have to see ourselves before we can expect others to see who we really are. Because if we don't know who we are how can other people know who we are?
00:41:59
Speaker
It is effortless when you start shedding those layers. And it's not easy. And it can mean a lot of therapy. And back to our point on like mental health and medication. And, like like you know, if you're struggling, talk to your doctor, take your doctor's advice, figure out what works for you. Try a few different doctors.
00:42:14
Speaker
Talk to your therapist and like, you know, stop trying to do it on your own. But when it comes to like personal development and you becoming your true self, it's dropping these layers of ego. It's dropping all of these armors that we're putting up to show up in the world as we think we should.
00:42:31
Speaker
This perfectionism, showing up, how looking how you think you need to look, having a body shape or a size the way you think you should have it, behaving in a way that you think people want you to behave, you know, being a certain age, having a family, being a certain age, having, you know, climbed the ladder of the career, yeah having a certain degree of education, you know, all of these things that... When we start to shed this, like I was a teacher for 15 years and I just shed it.
00:42:53
Speaker
I just shed it all. And i people thought I was crazy. I went back and I worked in the gym. I remember people seeing like people that I had taught, like coming into the gym and seeing me sitting at the desk of the gym being like, oh, is she okay?
00:43:06
Speaker
But it was like, I just, I shed it. I didn't want it. And I started, like, I you i was cleaning the bathrooms in the gym and I loved it. Loved it. Because I didn't care anymore. And even to this point, like, and I think, I don't know who I was talking to about it recently, but on the podcast with social media, as you're putting more messages out there and it's growing. That comes with a lot of criticism, a lot of trolls. It comes with a lot of trolls in the comments.
00:43:31
Speaker
And it's funny, I talk to my coach, Lindsay, about it a bit. Sometimes you's it'll pop up in your not but notification and you'll see something. But I don't care. yeah i don't care. Like, so people find this fascinating. I don't go into my comments so and people are like, then you're missing all the positive comments.
00:43:46
Speaker
I'm like, I don't care. It's something I have to do to protect myself. I don't need to read some 40-year-old man telling me that... I look old and tired and ugly. Like, I don't need to see that.
00:43:58
Speaker
And it's usually, its it is quite often, it is men that that will do it. You know, someone telling me that I'm stupid and I don't know anything about nutrition or, you know, like there's lots of different things. And I think when you can shed it and be like, as long as my clients are happy with my work and the people who are around me are happy with how I'm treating them.
00:44:19
Speaker
That's what's important. The people that I'm interacting, people who are paying me for my service and the people who are in my close circle, which is quite small. The people who work for me are happy and are being treated well.
00:44:30
Speaker
And the people I come in to contact to and I'm treating people and I'm being true to myself. As long as I'm being true to myself and I'm not hurting anyone else, then I don't care. And I think that's the most empowering thing. I think for ages I was nearly afraid to say that because I felt like it sounded rude.
00:44:46
Speaker
And it's like the world is a noisy place. And someone said to me, if you're having a conversation with someone and you're talking about nutrition or you're talking about your beliefs, like what we're talking about now, there'll be certain people going have that conversation with.
00:44:58
Speaker
You're not going to like have any random or around the street, start having a ah deep conversation about this kind of stuff. But when you're on the Internet, you're putting your information out there and your thoughts and your ideas.
00:45:10
Speaker
You're opening up a conversation to the whole world. So it is part and parcel of the job because then you have to realize people are going to come at you who don't agree with you because it's human nature. but Then people, some people take it really extreme. They want to attack you.
00:45:23
Speaker
for your beliefs and your message. So my point is shedding those layers and coming back to your true self and just being like, is this who I actually am? And if it isn't, then just stop.
00:45:34
Speaker
And I think it's always important to just question, why am I doing something? Even to the point, like as a parent, I find with my kids, I was only thinking it this morning, I was like, oh my God, like my oldest, my teenager, he's got like loads of schoolwork. was like, I can't, I'm such a terrible mother. I haven't even sat down and kind of gone through the work he needs to get done over these Easter holidays. And then I'm like, oh, hold on, where did that come from? Terrible mother. Like these expectations we set on ourselves as parents.
00:45:58
Speaker
Why? Parent the way you want parent. You know what mean? So what, like, I'm like a self-proclaimed selfish mother at times. Like I will put myself first. And I think that that's kind of important.
00:46:09
Speaker
But for a long time, I felt guilt and shame around that. All these things that we build to protect ourselves or to fit in or to be like the other moms or to be like your coworkers or whatever, or to hold on to friends that you're afraid of losing.
00:46:23
Speaker
but What about if you shed it all and it became effortless? It's not somewhere you get to and it's like for forever. Like, like I said, you know, that journaling exercise, I did up all these negative thoughts and come back. I was like, whoa Kate, what the fuck is going on in your head? And it always happens due to stress because life is stressful and it's always going to throw curveballs at us. It's always really difficult shit that's going to happen.
00:46:42
Speaker
I think learning to to create that gap of like not reacting, but responding. So when something happens and we feel really stressed, like what I'll do now is I'll retreat and I'll go into my little bubble.
00:46:55
Speaker
And I'll take time and then I'll respond. But I was always a reactor, a fixer. I'm like, how do I fix this right away? And that's where it like, you know, drinking came in. It was like, oh, I don't feel good. Oh, yeah. Oh, I feel great now after a glass of wine or two.
00:47:06
Speaker
You know you mean? Like it's our reactionary people who like comfort eat. It's the same thing. It's like, oh, the strong emotions. I need to do something to fix it. Quite often, we're not even aware we're doing it. So with your self-sabotaging behaviors, did you find that this is something it was like, I need to fix how I feel? Like, what was it even that much? Like, were you aware of what was happening?
Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Alcohol's Role
00:47:24
Speaker
Kind of.
00:47:25
Speaker
I think it was more of trying to feel something differently than I was already feeling. i definitely relate to in the whole, fixer mentality. I think I'm still a little bit of but of a fixer, but I like to change that wording to I'm a great problem solver. But being able to recognize when I can solve a problem that's actually fixable to understand using things to create a different feeling for myself. I've definitely learned to separate the two big time.
00:47:54
Speaker
Whereas the self-sabotage was so bad that I would drink to self-sabotage and then drink to make myself feel better about drinking from self-sabotaging. So it was like this...
00:48:05
Speaker
toxic cycle that I would go around in it. And it wasn't also just drinking too. it was like the partying, the people I surrounded myself, the people i allowed into my life to make me feel something because I wasn't capable of making myself feel anything like that. Self-love was not there, that like self-identity and like who Lexi was and what I needed to feel good.
00:48:26
Speaker
So I absolutely agree with everything you just said, like being that fixer, that person to kind of mask it all up to feel better, i think is something that I've learned to shut.
00:48:40
Speaker
Now, it'll be a sunny day. And I'm not and I'm not fully sober either. I was I stopped drinking for almost a year to kind of really understand my relationship with alcohol. And if it was going to play a ah role in my life, what did that look like?
00:48:53
Speaker
It did come down to is I asked myself questions. Is Lexi in a place mentally where she can have a drink because she wants to have a drink or is Lexi drinking because she's not having a good day or Lexi's not drinking because she's stressed out or Lexi's feeling so deeply about something that alcohol is gonna mask it. If that's the case, drinking has no place in my day.
00:49:16
Speaker
Can I be realistic about sticking to two, three drink limit? Or is this gonna turn into one of those all-nighters again, which doesn't happen anymore. And I think, thank God about, that's the one thing about getting older that's really nice. You don't have the capacity to go all night anymore.
00:49:31
Speaker
Being able to be like, nope, I can stop. That's good. I've enjoyed my really nice glass of wine. Oh, it was sunny. We had a couple ciders at the park with the dog and threw the ball. Perfect. Learning that alcohol is a place in your life for a reason, not to cover something up because we're celebrating something. It's date night. It's a birthday.
00:49:50
Speaker
It's a milestone. You've bought a house and you want to have some champagne and being okay with that. And then not also on the back end of it, having coffee. a couple of drinks and enjoying life because it's life is not being hard on yourself for having had those drinks, not going inward and being like, Oh, Lexi, I can't believe you had some drinks. And even after two glasses of wine, I'll wake up sometimes be like, Oh,
00:50:14
Speaker
My head hurts even just a little bit because I don't drink often anymore. That's nearing person for you. Yeah, I'm like, right yeah wait, it's like definitely not worth it anymore for how you can feel.
00:50:25
Speaker
And that's also another thought. Like, I don't want to feel like crap, which throws me off my routine, but oh, okay. So I had, did I have a laugh? Did I have a good time? Did we enjoy playing games night and having a couple of glasses of wine? Yeah, okay, the headache was worth it. Yeah, I don't feel amazing, but I'm also living my life.
00:50:42
Speaker
So taking that pressure off myself of having to be perfect, having to have it all figured out, like I don't have it all figured out. I'm a lot better than where I was, but... Now, as I'm moving forward, I use those little tools, ask myself those little questions.
00:50:57
Speaker
Am I in a place where I can do this? Okay, great. Proud of you of being able to do that. You go enjoy. Those are the conversations I have with myself now instead of, oh my God, the worst day of my life. I need a bottle of wine to feel better.
00:51:09
Speaker
And I'm at home alone in my apartment drinking a bottle of the wine. Exactly. And i think once you know that you're on the right path and you'll stay on the right path, when you know, if you can ask yourself why you're doing something and you know why, then that's the main thing, because it's the automatic behaviors that we're using to numb ourselves.
00:51:28
Speaker
that become the problem because they move us further away from our true self. But when we can just be like, I'm doing this because you don't even need to to have it like, like cognitively have it figured out like that, but that you know that it's coming from ah good place of just being present with your loved one and having game night or whatever, you know, whatever it is. yeah And i when it comes to figuring it out, that is literally what life is. People never have it figured out. Like I'm hoping when I'm like, I'm 90, I'm like, yeah, figured it out.
00:51:56
Speaker
i thought i'm i I know it all out no but like it's literally yeah life is supposed to all be about spending your time figuring it out and facing new challenges and having new experiences meeting new people and figuring out new things and solving problems is exciting that's not the same as reacting solving problems is not a bad thing that's how we grow and learn it's about responding to them and sometimes feeling it rather than overthinking it as well. Sometimes you like going with your gut feeling and knowing that that's right.
00:52:30
Speaker
A decision that you need to make in life. And I do this all the time in business now, which is a new thing to me. It actually, it triggers my anxiety a little bit. Sometimes when I know I need to make a decision that's like to take it next level, that's a little risky. And I'm like, oh, this so that this feels a bit crazy. I know I'm not supposed to do this. oh I'm going to do it anyway.
00:52:46
Speaker
And I do it and it always works out. twiwood So far, it's always worth it. And it's going to continue. And it's you something earlier, which I believe in is like on the other side of fear, something amazing waits for you.
00:52:57
Speaker
When you
The Role of Pilates in Mental Health
00:52:58
Speaker
push yourself past your comfort zones, like I've been experiencing that for the last, what month are we in? I don't even know what day it is. Four five months of developing my app of, Oh my God, I've put everything like emotionally, spiritually, financially into this. I've bet on myself.
00:53:16
Speaker
That is the scariest thing I've ever done. What if it doesn't work? But okay, well, what if it doesn't? But what if it does? Yeah, we never ask ourselves that because our ego is protecting us and putting in the worst case scenario.
00:53:28
Speaker
In relation to connecting with yourself, you were saying, you know, to help with protecting your mental health, you know, that you do journaling, affirmations, looking in the mirror, giving yourself a little high five or you know, virtual high five, if you like, and like practicing these positive behaviors. So another big one I would imagine is movement.
00:53:47
Speaker
And for me as well, movement is a huge way to to really get out of your head and connect in with with who you really are. and that where you started to be like, oh, this is who Lexi really is?
00:53:58
Speaker
Yeah. So, OK, so long story short, because I know we're conscious of time. So I grew up actually as a competitive athlete. I was a swimmer. So from the age of like six to 18, all I did was swim six days a week before school, after school. I trained like crazy. i was nationally ranked in Canada. Like it was my whole identity.
00:54:19
Speaker
I got injured, couldn't swim anymore, which absolutely shattered me. And I think that was the catalyst to a lot of my mental health problems. was one i had trained my whole life to go to the Olympics only for that to be taken away from me because my body was not capable of training at that level.
00:54:33
Speaker
Obviously, I was a developing young woman and working my body so strenuously, my body couldn't grow and develop the way that it needed to because of the activity level I had.
00:54:44
Speaker
At least in my case, I'm just very tall and I grew really quickly and my ligaments were like, whoa, this is too much. And then i stopped physical activity for that very long stretch of five, six years of just bad mental health.
00:55:00
Speaker
And I honestly did not really even realize that that contributed to my mental health problems and that loss of self because of I didn't have movement anymore. I went moving all the time, doing something that I love to not moving my body, like maybe going to the gym once or twice doing just drinking all the time and eating. So I was putting on this weight and I was like, I used to be so fit.
00:55:23
Speaker
And so later on down the line, I was like, okay, as I'm kind of getting a bit older and I don't want to be decrepit when I'm older, I want to be able to move my body. That's kind of when movement came back into my life. So I started to run and I was like, oh, running's like, okay, I guess everybody loves running. I love that for them, but my hips don't like it. My body doesn't like it.
00:55:43
Speaker
And then I fell into Pilates because a friend of mine was like, hey, I'm going to this reformer Pilates class and I'm really nervous. and I don't want to go alone. And I said, i will do anything once.
00:55:54
Speaker
You know that I'm your go-to girl. Let's do it. And I went to the class and I had never heard of Pilates. I had done like yoga and I've weight lifted and I swam and I ran, but I'd never done Pilates. And i left that class and honestly, Kate, my life changed. i was like, wow, my body feels amazing.
00:56:13
Speaker
I am addicted. 60 minutes is all I took. And almost every single day for um a year, I went to Reformer Pilates and Matt Pilates. I like drained my savings account to go because it's not the cheapest, but completely changed my mind.
00:56:29
Speaker
The way my body moved, it healed old injuries from swimming, from accidents of past. It calmed my mind because all I could focus on was my breath. Pilates is really connected with how you breathe and breathe. how you work to be able to maximize that engagement through your center. So you don't have time to think about what you're eating later. Oh, the dog's got to do this. Oh, I've got this on my to-do list. It's, no, this is 60 minutes for myself to move in a way that feels so good for my body.
00:56:59
Speaker
i don't care about anything else. And that is the environment that I try to create in my classes. You leave your phone in your locker. You don't bring it in. We don't really do filming in our studio. That's why I don't really do a lot of a day in the lives because i follow that rule too. I check you in and my phone's down, your phone's down, you and me.
00:57:17
Speaker
60 minutes. How do you want to move? And we move and then people leave and feel amazing. And I think that Pilates is great. it's a huge hype right now, but I think it's really, it's not looked at and the benefits that it it does provide you, which is a lot more than just a really cute outfit and getting quite flexible. It's injury prevention. It's healing your injuries. It's making you stronger. It's, it's taking away that back pain because you're developing this core strength. It's,
00:57:45
Speaker
learning how to be so in touch with your breath that you can leave. And if I'm going to have a panic attack, let me just do some Pilates breathing. changed my life. And I know it's changed a lot of people's lives. So that's why I became ah a teacher because the movement was so important to me. And I fell in love with how my body was moving. It was about finding something that I loved, like swimming again and just doing it every day. And it also doesn't kill your body too. Like you can go every day and not die, but obviously rest days are very important. So.
00:58:15
Speaker
have What is the difference between yoga and Pilates? So yoga is very much so meditative stretching and challenging yourself with static poses, depending what asana you practice, where Pilates is very, um well, it depends if you're on the mat or the reformer, but essentially at the end of the day, It's controlling and engaging through the core and building strength and mobility outwards in the body.
00:58:41
Speaker
So we start with the breath. We have like our diaphragm and breathing where we find that core engagement, build that strength. And then we start to add challenges through the arms and the legs to improve that strength and mobility outwards.
00:58:54
Speaker
And so eventually you get to a place where before you couldn't even do a sit-up and now your ah legs are in the air because we've trained your abdominals to be so strong that you can now add the load, like the legs and the arms.
00:59:08
Speaker
So the difference is one's more strength and mobility based, where the other one's more flexibility and pose focused. Okay. And so it it really is just about a lot of core strength.
00:59:19
Speaker
It's a lot of core strength. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, people are probably going to come at me and be like, oh, that's not entirely true, but it is. If you do it properly, depends also which practice you go through, but we start on our backs and we start with the core and then we move on from there. Like the whole repertoire is based on starting small into growing large as you challenge the body and you increase the load. So I mean, if you've got a lot of back problems, Pilates is the best thing for you. If you wake up and you feel really stiff, Pilates is the best thing for you because yeah, we want to lengthen your muscles that are all seized up and we want to lengthen the spine.
00:59:57
Speaker
But what good is
Pilates vs Yoga
00:59:58
Speaker
lengthening if we're not strengthening the muscles on the outside of the body to keep you stable and to keep you lengthened but strengthen so we're not collapsing back into that pain.
01:00:09
Speaker
So that was hugely mind opening for me. And I became so obsessed, like the anatomy of the human body is crazy cool. And being able to challenge your body and basically just become a superhuman by doing some exercises on your floor and then maybe paying a bit more to go on a reformer.
01:00:28
Speaker
sign me up. Like I am ready to go. i don't, I mean, weightlifting is extremely important. And so that's also something we can touch on, but you need the, you need both of them.
01:00:39
Speaker
And it's very different. Like you can't get the maximum strength that you would want from Pilates, but you can develop some incredible fundamental skills that'll transpire into the gym and change your weightlifting game for you.
01:00:53
Speaker
Absolutely. Because if ah if I see people in the gym, if there's any type of issues with form, it usually comes down to core strength. You know, we're trying to lift too heavy. And if we're finding it difficult to keep, you know, our lats engaged and, you know, our back straight or whatever, quite often.
01:01:09
Speaker
it all comes back to weak core or any back issues people get from lifting weights or, you know, like even like, like my husband ended up with like a hernia before from lifting weights. That's just from lifting weights that were obviously too heavy for him. He if he he doesn't listen to this, but anyway, anyone who knows, he's lifting too heavy. I feel that. Yeah.
01:01:27
Speaker
And I said to him, I'm like, you know, maybe you should just work on strength your core. My core is strong. I'm like, okay. Okay. Yeah. But it's it's so important. Now, I don't i don't do Pilates. I do yoga, but to work on my core strength and flexibility because lifting weights makes it really stiff.
01:01:42
Speaker
So I'm not the most yogi. Like sometimes it depends on the day if I've had like a pretty heavy leg day and then I do a bit of a yoga practice afterwards. i'm like, Oh, Jesus. is Like trying to like bend forward and like, whoa, those hamstrings are tight. Yeah. What has happened? And then that just reminds me why it's so important to have a practice in place.
01:01:59
Speaker
But look, if anyone
Current Offerings and Listener Invitation
01:02:00
Speaker
is interested in Pilates or to find out a little bit more about you and what you do, do you do online classes or is it all in person that you do? So right now I'm doing all in person. i was doing online classes, but that within person became so much. So I had to yeah prioritize. Unfortunately, I wish I could teach everyone 24 seven, but boundaries, but i am in the process of developing my app. It's called the self love club.
01:02:26
Speaker
And it's essentially a wellness hub for women and men too. Oh, not discriminatory against sex and gender, but it's for really anyone that wants to come to an app, do some mat Pilates, incorporate a little bit of weights, some meditation, and just an overall place for all the things self-love, nutrition, movement, meditation. So that will be live.
01:02:46
Speaker
June, hopefully if everything goes right within my world. But if you're in the London area or Southeast London area, come down to Greenwich Pilates where I work. It's the most lovely little studio. i teach Matt and Reformer. i work basically every day and it's just the best feeling. Just come flow with me. And i and you will get a good workout. So people are like, well, I want to work out. Well, ah you come to my classes and they're challenging, but I challenge your muscles. and the Pilates shakes get real sometimes. So I encourage everyone to come down and see me.
01:03:17
Speaker
hope there's a line above the door now. Yes, absolutely. Any Londoners listening, just go get there. So if anyone wants to just check you out on social media, Instagram, is that the best place to get you? Yeah, Instagram's the best place to come find me right now at PilatesGirlyLex, girly with a Y.
01:03:34
Speaker
On there, I've got all things Pilates updates on when the app is coming out for moving with me and nutrition, all things. I'm playing with the whole content game now. i'm I'm not the most qualified content creator at this stage, but I'm trying to put out everything out there to educate as many women as possible just to.
01:03:53
Speaker
be the best versions of themselves. I can't imagine anyone feeling like I used to. So I'm just trying to create a space where people can come to and feel seen and accepted and feel like they belong. I love that. That's absolutely amazing.
01:04:05
Speaker
I'm so excited for your app. That's amazing. Thanks, Kate. Yeah, me too, Kate. I'm excited. It's been
Podcast Conclusion
01:04:10
Speaker
a think a long time coming, I was like, this is going to happen and one day I'm going open up a studio. So follow me for all things that I do. Amazing. Thank you so much for this amazing conversation.
01:04:21
Speaker
Yes, Kate, thank you so much for having me. That such a great chat. I can't wait to talk soon.
01:04:28
Speaker
I just want to say thank you so much for listening to the podcast. I would just ask for one thing from you, if at all possible, could you make sure that you subscribe to the podcast? It really does make such a difference.
01:04:41
Speaker
If there's a particular episode that you've enjoyed, please do share it in your WhatsApp groups, share it on your stories, tag myself and the guest. in your stories. All of these things really do help to grow the podcast. And obviously, if there's anything you'd like to reflect on, please do leave a comment.
01:04:58
Speaker
It would mean the world to me and i will see you on the next one.