Transcript
Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Kate Hamilton Health Podcast. So today's episode is going to be a solo episode and I am going to talk to you about the whole concept of doing it anyway.
Speaker: I think this is a really under-talked about concept. in relation to your goals, unless it's like super extreme and we're talking like, you know, David Goggins style. And I think that this is just something worth talking about in a really kind of realistic working towards your goals kind of way for the ordinary person, not the person who wants to live the life of, yeah, like I said, the likes of David Goggins. But what one thing to think about is how come some people can reach their goals with what seems like ease and then for others, their goals always seem to remain goals.
Speaker: Because I think the thing to realize is that reaching a goal is never easy and it's just that some people make it look easy. So the question is, what have they got that others don't?
Speaker: This is where a fixed mindset can be so, so tempting, you know, to think things like I'm not like them. It's easy for them, not for me. But the truth is that any of us can achieve what we set out to do if we follow these four steps.
Speaker: Number one, be clear on your goal and write it down and make sure that that goal is your goal. Number two, dig deep so that you can actually feel it.
Speaker: So having a goal in theory isn't enough. You need to really, like when you think about this goal, it like really, rises emotion and excitement, even a little bit fear, that's fine, but they it it ignites emotion inside you. That's really, really important. So dig deep for that.
Speaker: And that's why writing it down and getting into it in detail is so, so important. Number three then is break it down into actionable steps. And we can kind of trip up here with the actionable steps because we take on too much. We're like, oh yes, I need to throw all the junk food out of my house. I need to run for an hour every single day and I need to get five gym sessions in. And yeah we start putting all this the crazy restriction and over-exercising and all these big plans in place and it's not sustainable. So with your actionable steps, you want to break them down so they're super actionable, basically.
Speaker: So yeah, those first three steps, being clear on your goal and writing it down, digging deep so you can actually feel it and breaking it down into actionable steps. A lot of people will get that far and then they kind of trip up because they're missing that last fourth step, which is so, so crucial to actually getting there.
Speaker: And so the fourth step is do things anyway, regardless of how you feel. like I know that's a little bit controversial, but it is the bottom line here.
Speaker: And I'm just going to go into that in a little bit more depth. If your goal is to lose 10 kilos and feel absolutely amazing at your Christmas party at the end of the year. If your goal is to lose 20 kilos and feel healthy and confident and get back to a sport or an activity that you love.
Speaker: Or if your goal is to lose weight to get pregnant or as you navigate menopause or for your wedding or for your retirement or for your mental health. Regardless of the specifics of your goal, if you're looking to lose body fat, you need to be in a calorie deficit.
Speaker: And in order to be able to consistently stay in your calorie deficit for the amount of time that's needed to reach this goal, certain habits need to be done regularly and they need to be done consistently.
Speaker: So these are the kind of habits that I talk about all the time. Tracking your calories or your hand portions, eating a diet high in protein and balanced in carbohydrates and healthy fats. Bulking up on lots of vegetables, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, moving your body every day, introducing some regular resistance training.
Speaker: So yeah, like obviously I read it off on a list like that, like it's super easy. So obviously i'm I'm aware that when we're talking about goals here, I'm using the example of a fat loss goal. The actual mindset stuff that i'm talking about is relevant to any goal in your life. I'm just using this in relation to fat loss,
Speaker: for health. So all of those habits that I just listed, life is not that simple. It's not a case just ticking those off. Oh yeah, I do this now, tick. I do this now, tick. There will be really good days.
Speaker: There will be really bad days and there will be lots and lots of really ordinary days. There'll be distractions, there'll be special occasions, and there'll be plenty of unexpected stress.
Speaker: And the reason I'm kind of listing this and, you know, just bringing your attention to it is that all of these things, the really bad days, the really good days, the special occasions, the stress, they all often cause strong emotions.
Speaker: And even an emotion of like boredom and lethargy for the ordinary days as well, or that just, you know, that kind of mental tiredness that leads to that emotion of not wanting to do anything.
Speaker: All of these, the good, the bad and the ordinary, they can cause strong emotions. And this is probably the best piece of advice that I will ever give you towards reaching your goals. We cannot let our emotions control our habits.
Speaker: I'm actually going to say that again because that's actually so important. We cannot let our emotions control our habits. Unless you are sick or unless you are injured, do it anyway.
Speaker: And this is actually the secret ingredient. I just wanted to share this little quote with you as well. as from David Reynolds and I just thought it was a really nice way of thinking of it. Our behaviour is controllable in a way that our feelings are not.
Speaker: The more control we develop over our actions, the more chance we have of producing a self that we can be proud of. So that doesn't mean that we always need to push, push, push, push.
Speaker: And it doesn't mean that we need to control our emotions. It's okay to feel the way we feel, but we have to separate the emotions and the actions. And that's the crucial part here. So we don't need to do everything, but we also don't need to do nothing.
Speaker: it said Going back to, you know what, that part with the actionable steps, perfectionism is the most dangerous type of procrastination. As I was saying there a minute ago, your emotions are valid. So do feel your emotions. Don't try and suppress them.
Speaker: Feel them. Cry if you need to cry. Get angry if you need to get angry. Jump for joy and scream in delight if you need to do that. Dance if you feel like dancing, like, you know, feel your emotions. We're not trying to suppress them in any way.
Speaker: Reflect on them, positive or negative, reflect on them and release them. And you can release them through journaling, through movement, through talking to someone about it, through crying, through laughing, through switching off and being fully in the present moment.
Speaker: but do not let them control you. You might be hearing this for the first time and you'd be like, holy shit, I am controlled by my emotions. Like, so please don't feel bad. It is extremely common. We're all controlled by our emotions at times. Okay, look, we're human. but They're not going to suddenly hear this and be like right, that's it, I'm changed forever.
Speaker: But this will be life changing for you. And once you realize, okay, I'm human, I am going to be controlled by emotions, my emotions sometimes. But once you can reflect and notice when you are, That is absolute game changing stuff. Knowing that when you're feeling strong emotions, you are emotionally drunk, if you like, and it's really not a good time to make big decisions.
Speaker: If you feel like, you know, this is where it comes to, you know, when we're emotionally drunk, where we like have an argument with our partner and we say things that we don't mean or, we quit something in the moment because we feel so overwhelmed. We're like, we quit.
Speaker: Then you regret it afterwards. Try not to make the decisions in the moment, in the strong emotions and give yourself time to reflect on it when you are less, when you are emotionally sober again, if you like.
Speaker: And this is where it's like, if you're feeling a certain way, you're like, i don't want to go for my walk. I don't want to go to the gym. I just want to eat all the Doritos that you create a gap there. There's two ways about this. So if it's the case, I don't want to go to the gym or I don't want to go for a walk,
Speaker: it needs to be like, it's in the diary, it's in the schedule, it's happening, I'm not sick. Even if you feel tired, you are not too tired. The only way you are too tired is if you are genuinely sleep deprived. So I know there could be young mothers here listening to this who don't get enough sleep. So in that case, yes, you might actually be sleep deprived.
Speaker: Then pushing through is not relevant to you because you're already pushing through. But for most of us, if you're getting six, seven, eight hours sleep at night and you're tired after your long day at work, you're not too tired to go to the gym. You're not too tired to go for a walk.
Speaker: You think you're too tired. And the reason why I know this, and you might that might really annoy some people to hear that, but I've seen a time and time again with clients. It's like if we use that five minute rule, five minute action, like and I used this for years when I was still teaching and I go to the gym at like 7 p.m.
Speaker: And I never wanted to go. i was always rushing to the dinner cooked for the kids and to get out the door for my class. And I was exhausted and I'd often be like, oh, I won't bother. Like, and I genuinely felt physically wrecked.
Speaker: I'll go for five minutes and I'll do the warmup. If I feel still wrecked after those five minutes, I'll leave. Never once did I leave because as soon as I got moving and I switched off my brain just into the present moment, I felt so much better. It's the same with a walk.
Speaker: So when it comes to feeling those strong emotions and like wanting to cancel your gym class or not go to the gym or not go out for your walk, don't. Just go for five minutes. Use that five minute action.
Speaker: Okay. If it's a case that that those strong emotions are bringing up, fuck it, I don't care about my calories. I just want to eat everything inside. I want to eat all the cookies. I want to eat all the Doritos. That's where you're going to create a gap.
Speaker: Okay. So you want to create a gap for at least 30 minutes to give yourself time to not be emotionally drunk anymore. Get yourself out of the situation and not do anything too heavy. Like, you know, it's not particularly a great time for journaling. It's probably more a case. Go for shower.
Speaker: blow dry your hair, you know, do your makeup, go paint your nails, take a bath, go for a walk, go to the gym. You know, that could be a good time to slot in your exercise, actually. And that's how you will move forward with it. But it's really about recognizing the emotion and separating it from the action.
Speaker: And it is life changing. Do not let your emotions control you. Another thing then to think about is always start the day asking yourself, what am I doing today that will move me towards my goals?
Speaker: Like this is a really great way to think. So after you spend time, like there's a lot of people just have, oh, I need to lose this bit of weight. I just want to, yeah, I want to lose four stone or I want to be ah size 10 or, you know, whatever the goal is. want to be 11 stone. I want, you know, whatever your goal is.
Speaker: It's too generic. This is why putting pen to paper on your goals is so important. to Why is this your goal? Why do you want it? What does this mean for you? When you bring that goal to life, you can make it the focus of every single day.
Speaker: As in the first thing you do in the morning is look yourself in the eye in the mirror when you're brushing your teeth and be like, what am I doing today that will move me towards my goals? It doesn't have to be big. And it's really, really important to remember that slow and steady wins the race. And we are talking about those small habits and we're not even talking about all those habits at once.
Speaker: It might be, I'm going for a walk on my lunch today. And that might be all you're able for that day. And that's okay because you have thought about your goal. You have put you first and you're doing it because you want to.
Speaker: And then over time, what will happen is you'll build momentum and you'll start adding in more things. But it's really important to start off slow and steady. And it can be so tempting to to have that all or nothing mindset, particularly in the beginning.
Speaker: And when you start your day with that thought of what am I doing today that will move me towards my goals? Like you can use that, use that in every decision you make throughout the day. Like, is this bringing me closer to my goal?
Speaker: Yes, it's a no brainer. no, do I have to do it? If the answer is no, then don't do it. So this can be a really great way to, should I spend time with this person? Should I go here? Should I go there?
Speaker: And I know there's some adult responsibilities where, you know, we've got kids, we've got jobs, we've got things that have to be done. I understand that. But the other stuff, the other stuff that we fill the rest of our day with, is this moving me towards my goals?
Speaker: Sometimes that'll be going out to the gym at 7 or 8pm because you haven't had a chance to get any movement in or getting out for even i like a 9pm walk if you've been sitting all day in front of the desk or you've been in the car all day.
Speaker: That might be that. But sometimes it might actually be getting into bed and reading a book. It might be going for a bath. It might be watching a little bit of Netflix for a while. If you've had a really stressful day, you've got loads of movement in and you're like, I need to switch off so I get a good night's sleep.
Speaker: And I think one episode of whatever it is that you're watching is going to do that for me. Then that's something that you should do. But it's important to really look at your habits and be like, is this something that I really want to do that's going to move me towards my goals? Or is it something I'm just kind of doing automatically?
Speaker: And when you become really, really intentional like that, it's amazing. Such an empowering feeling. And I'll just finish on this thought. You have the power to take action regardless of how you feel.
Speaker: You really do have that power. So just remember that and do not be controlled by your emotions. If you've made it to the end of this episode, thank you so much for listening.
Speaker: As always, I'm always aware that with my solo episodes, I'm rambling a little bit and my thoughts can sometimes be a little bit scrambled, but I always hope that I try and kind of veer it towards a conclusion in the end.
Speaker: This is a short and snappy one, but I think there's lots of value for you to take from this. As always, if you have enjoyed this episode, please do share it with your friends, share it on your stories.
Speaker: tag me if you do share it on your stories and please do make sure that you are subscribed to the podcast. It really does make a difference in growing the podcast and helping more people. And I just want to thank you so much for listening. I really, really do appreciate much.
