Transcript
Speaker: Sometimes the biggest starting over moments in life don't come from heartbreak, they come from love. Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here.
Speaker: Y'all, sometimes we spend so much time talking about rebuilding after divorce, breakups, losing something. But what if you meet someone who changes the whole direction of your life in the best possible way?
Speaker: What I love about today's guest is that every time life handed her a challenge, she didn't sit wishing it was easier. She found the next step to make it that way.
Speaker: I'm so excited to welcome Celeste Leon, my friend, amazing, amazing, talented speaker, confidence coach. She also is the founder of the Nashville Sip and Book Club, which I've watched personally her grow it from the ground up. And I want to welcome Celeste Leon to the show.
Speaker: Thank you so much, Heather. I'm so excited to be here, to be here with you. um I've watched you build this community in this podcast since like the very beginning when when it was just a thought and nothing was like had come to life. So I'm just so proud of you to see you grow and just how amazing you're doing. Like I just, you know, I'm like your biggest cheerleader and I just love everything that you're doing.
Speaker: Ah, Celeste, it's a big, I really want people to know how important you have been to this journey, to be honest, because, um and this is just when you're thinking about your own life, people like some people come into your life for a big purpose. And Celeste was one of those people for me because the day I had the idea to start the podcast, I was driving to a TEDx talk in Nashville and something told me to start podcast. And I didn't even know a single person that had a podcast. I go to the TEDx talk. My other friend was late Celeste comes up to me and says, do you want a picture? Which is so weird because that is how many, how I met so many friends is about taking photos. And I said, sure. And she goes, well, are you here with someone? Like I'm by myself. Can i you know? and I was like, of course. And she asked me what I did. And I said, i just left corporate and I'm starting a podcast. And it was the first time I'd said it out loud. And she looks at and she goes, oh, I'm in corporate and I have a podcast. And I was like, as as yeah wow. Like, how does that even happen? And I felt like even from that day meeting, like I was by myself, you were by yourself. The fact that we were two women going to a TEDx, just like that kind of event, um which has a lot of purpose and power. We didn't just meet at a bar having a drink, right? So it was already a place where you already know people are talking about big ideas. So for me, I love those environments. I love being around people who are doing big things in life. So when you said that, I was like, hell yeah, you can do it Go ahead, girl. Like yeah i'm doing it. um
Speaker: And you did it. Yes. A lot of that. And I love that you said that about environments, because I think sometimes when we want to do new and big things in our life and we're starting over and we want to become something different, we have to put ourselves in places that those different things can happen. Yeah. Right. And like even just owning and the identity of me saying to you, I'm having a podcast like maybe that never even would have happened the way it did if I just didn't voice it. And so it's important to like yeah be in the right rooms, have the right conversations, be humble enough to just say this is what I'm doing and I don't know what I'm doing. And the the way I like to think about it, i think for anybody who's doing something new or something big in their life that's a little bit scary, it all starts with that seed, right? At that time, it was a seed that was like being planted.
Speaker: And you either go to places or around people that are going to water it. Like, yeah, that's a great idea. do it. Go for it. You know, or like, I've done it. You can do it too. And other people who are like,
Speaker: No, don't do that. That seems scary. So you have to also have that accountability, that autonomy, that understanding that anything that you want to do you need to understand there's people who are going to support you and there's people who aren't going to support you. But you need to be around people who have already done it because that's where you're going to be the most inspired.
Speaker: 100% and even you doing that it was like I knew it couldn't be that hard but when you don't know anyone you're like but you're like it's not that hard like you're just telling me and I know you know because you were you had done it and we did like a practice run and I found the video not that long ago and it was so funny now thinking that I'm like approaching 100 episodes and you and i you we were just like hey so practice and did like a So anyway, so that so Celeste has been there for the journey. But what really inspires me about her story and how it all fits is like she has been through starting over. She understands divorce, but in a different way. Like she knows what it's like to navigate the newness of moving somewhere and not having a community. Like all of those those things are true in her life. And the starting over for her started from taking a chance on love. which kind of gives me chills because I think so many people think, oh I'm rebuilding, I'm rebuilding. But like starting over is just part of life sometimes, even when it's for a good reason, you know?
Speaker: yeah And so let's kind of go back because I love your love story, Celeste, and like just how you met your fiance, soon to be married. um on a trip in Miami and you both didn't live in the same state.
Speaker: So like, what was that like? Were you like open to love, looking for love? Like what was your feeling at that time? Yeah, yeah, I love that. We met, like you said, in Miami. At the time, I was living in New Jersey and Justin was living in Kentucky. So we were both at the same time on a vacation. i was on vacation. He was on a business trip. And we had somebody in common that it was actually his half brother that lived in Jersey and had moved to Miami.
Speaker: So I was traveling and hitting up my friend. Hey, I'm in Miami. Let's hang out. Right. Just like if somebody from Utah or anybody, you know, comes and they're like Heather, I'm in town. I'm in town. Yeah. Let's hang out. um And then he did the same thing. So we were introduced like in the afternoon and then we all went out that night.
Speaker: Was I open to love? Yes. I was in an era where I wasn't necessarily closed or like I need my husband tomorrow kind of vibe. um So I was open, I was flowing. I was going with the flow. I was like, whoever comes into my life is going meant to be there. And if it doesn't work out, that's OK. Just going with the flow. um So we met that night. We met that day. Then that night we all went out.
Speaker: And that night we stayed talking till almost 5 So I think for us, we felt that connection for sure. And just, I think you all know if you've ever gone on like a really great date, you just don't want it to end and you just are yapping and yapping and um finding different forms of connection. So that definitely like sparked with Justin and I. And then he convinced me to extend my trip, bought me an extra flight. So we got to enjoy a few more days together in Miami And then at that point, though, were you thinking, I don't know, this is just a fun connection or where you were you already thinking like, I need to see this man again, even though he lives in Kentucky. Like, how did you didn't know? Oh, my gosh. so
Speaker: I had no idea. Truly, I was like, I can't have too many expectations here. He was honest. You know, I'm going through a divorce. um I have two children. He was honest about that. and What did you feel with that? Were you just like so connected or we did that like, did it feel You know, I've met different men in the past before him who lied about up having children or not having children or just, you know, just lying about their past. So I was just grateful that he was honest from that day one about him having children. Yeah. I love that though, because then you had a different level of respect for him. It wasn't about, oh great, this man has children. It was, oh my gosh, I appreciate i appreciate the honesty that he has and the respect to be honest with me. I think also it's about owning your story. Wherever you are, there's a level of confidence and attractiveness that should be like,
Speaker: this is what happened, but it doesn't define me. Like it's not like, here's my baggage and let me just trauma dump. That's not what I'm saying, but it's like, yep, this is what's going on in my life and I own it. Like with that's it. um So I did appreciate that.
Speaker: After those two days, I didn't know what to think because, you know, I was like, okay, we live in different states. um i Maybe I never see him again, or maybe I do. But he said, I promise I'll see you again.
Speaker: So I said, okay, whatever that means, right? um I personally wasn't too interested in visiting Kentucky like that. There's so much to do, Celeste. Miami, Kentucky, pretty much the same thing. um But I lived in Jersey, New York City yeah area at the time. So a month later, he ended up coming to see me for about a week. We spent some beautiful few days again connecting, bonding, getting to know each other better. And then long story short, for the next like four or five months, he made it happen nearly 90% of the time where he began traveling to see me um and just put in the effort, made the calls.
Speaker: figured out how we can continue to keep that bond growing and just with that we just fell in love and we were writing each other poetry i know you love poetry um we actually for one or two anniversary i made a little booklet of our poems that we i love it yeah that we wrote to each other and but obviously it came with also many challenges, right? Like the love story I think is really beautiful and it it had it is what has pushed us to where we are today. But he was going through a divorce. um
Speaker: Having children also make things a little bit more complicated because not only um was there it's own challenges because of that but the girls have their own experience so we have to take our time with them um but I think overall we did pretty good now I've been in their lives for over three years and she's so good with them and so that's another thing Celeste so you're you're okay I'm gonna be in these kids lives there's no guarantee it's gonna end up in marriage like how did it feel because the time like you're in you know you're still in your 20s like
Speaker: you're coming in, you don't have your own children, you're like, okay, I'm gonna kind of be this not stepmom, but stepmom, like, yeah role, like, how was that for you? Like, what did, how did you feel about that?
Speaker: Yeah, I always tell my girlfriends, other women, right? I don't think any of us ever dreamed and say, my dream is to be a stepmom, right? Like, no, no one ever said that, but,
Speaker: There's a few different life experiences, i think, that for me open me up to that, which is one, my parents are divorced. i have a wonderful stepdad that I adore and I can't even imagine my life without him. um and I just know many blended families where it's a little bit more normalized, I guess.
Speaker: um And I just just having that perspective of understanding a child can love as many people as possible. Like a child's love is not restricted. There's no limitations to love. So I had that so clear in my head. um I'm never trying to take their mother's role. I'm their stepmom. It's a different role. um So I was just open to it.
Speaker: and I just said, let me go with the flow. I think there's many, there's two things that I carry with me. One, whether it worked out or not, I always knew I'm going to treat those kids with love and respect, no matter what. That if for some reason their dad and I didn't work out, they would remember me in a positive light. And I think children, right? Think about you as a kid, whether even if your parents were divorced, you're meeting so many adults. You had good experiences with adults. You had bad experiences with adults.
Speaker: I was just going to be one more experience, right? And number two, that I would just try my best, right? um Talking about starting over, that's a whole new chapter of my life that I opened. And it has been definitely a learning curve. Oh my goodness, learning curve to the max. And I'm still learning, but I think I have found a pretty good balance on how to be an active stepmom, be there for them. And also when they're with their mom and that side of the family to take a step back and let them enjoy that.
Speaker: Yes. And one thing that I love, Celeste, because I think that not many people think of this. I obviously haven't been in this scenario, but one time, this is a lot a bit ago, Celeste and I were talking and she was expressing some challenges and she said, but I found this stepmom coach. And I was like, they have those. And the way that I'm thinking about this, y'all, I just want to say this because I think sometimes we focus on like problems or why something can't work instead of like looking for a solution. So I just that take me through that thought, because instead of you're like, OK, I'm with this man. I'm like still young. I'm being this stepmom like, I don't know if I can do this. It's really hard. Yes. Maybe I should just leave. Right. You're going. No, I love this man.
Speaker: I got to figure out how to navigate this new challenge that I have. So let me search and find a stepmom coach. Like tell me how you were thinking about that. Yeah, yeah. Oh my goodness.
Speaker: um I think I was looking up on social media. just I started... maybe Googling like stepmom related questions like, is it normal to feel like this? Or is it appropriate to do XYZ? And eventually the algorithm picked up on it. And I think it started showing me like stepmom content. And I found um Alicia Castro, which is my girl. love her so much. She's So wonderful.
Speaker: And going back to even, let's compare again to the podcast idea. You had this new life choice of wanting to start a podcast. 99% of people don't have a podcast. They can't relate to that struggle or that big dream.
Speaker: I was like, oh, I'm now a stepmom. 99% of my girlfriends like can't understand what I'm going through. Because what I started to realize is that when I would go to them, their advice was like,
Speaker: just so poor. And now that they were they were mean or bad, or and they were they're my amazing girlfriends, they just can't comprehend, they just can't relate, they just don't know what it's like, that's it. So I was like, okay, I need to find women who are doing this and have done it successfully, who have been step-moms for 15, 20 years, then it's like, I did it, I'm still in love with my man, we have more children, it all worked out great. yeah So that's kind of how my brain works. um If I want to do something new or if I, you know, there's a challenge in my life, I'm like, has somebody else done this successfully?
Speaker: And if yes, that's the hope that I need. That's who I need to like be poured into. So my stepmom coach at the time, I used to join weekly every Wednesday and pretty much I would just be somebody I could vent to and she would give me some advice. um And it was really, really helpful. Yeah. Yeah. And you're right. Because sometimes venting about something that you feel is like with someone that understands is a huge difference maker because you're right. Like there's only and and that's true with like divorce. And Justin, I've even talked about it while you were there. You know, I remember us because it is it's just like that light switch with somebody that gets it. Yes. That you can like say it. And it's like.
Speaker: they just understand it and it's so comforting. Like again, why even started the podcast because I remember thinking no one is talking about this. There's, you know, you don't get a pocket full of like divorced friends because you get divorced. Just like you didn't get a whole bunch of stepmom friends because you're being a stepmom. And so you have to find a way to like, to me, venting through the podcast. I don't know venting, but like expressing and same. yeah So then she kind of helped you see that you could do it. So that's kind of what you needed. And that, yes, there's going to be challenges. That's normal.
Speaker: It's normal to feel that way. And then kind of gave you the confidence to go, okay, I can navigate through this. yeah And some tips, I'm sure. Yes, exactly. And then going back to the divorce, like, you know, being somebody who's divorced, I'm not divorced, but again, just seeing it growing up so much to me is a little bit normalized.
Speaker: That helped you be with someone you think that helped that you could be with Justin being divorced because you had already like experienced a positive because your mom and dad are so cute. yeah Your mom and stepdad, I mean, yes of course. yeah yeah Yeah. You know, so you saw that work for your mom. to Yes, and just seeing women, strong women in my life get divorced and come back stronger, more fabulous, more fit, ah make more money. um You know, like just so to me, it wasn't a...
Speaker: Like I don't necessarily see see divorce and I'm think, oh, you're a failure. Like, I don't think that way personally. I know many people do, which is very sad to me. I'm like, you just got an opportunity to level up. Are you gonna do it or not? Like that's straight up. I think for anybody, I haven't been divorced, but to anybody going through divorce,
Speaker: that's that pain that you're feeling whether you left the person or whether they left you that's a lot of energy that's a lot of energy to then like come back stronger um and and like re change what that all meant and like i feel like you have done that so beautifully you have done that like really beautifully because you've reconstructed yourself and I think that is so inspiring to see and again i think just like there's breakups there's divorces everybody goes through a breakup who hasn't ever had a friend who went through a breakup obviously a divorce is another layer but again we all go through that just through some degree so I love that you empower people with that because um i think all like anybody that's been divorced can find a new partner
Speaker: 100%. And I truly believe that too. I think if that's what is something in your heart and you want it, then you know it's it's good to allow yourself to see that people... Because, okay, Justin, for for my male listeners, Justin, he's going through a divorce, you know has two children, really...
Speaker: Trying to navigate that. I know he had his own because when him and I had similar thoughts, you know, it's just it's hard when you because when you leave someone and the way that you feel and how you feel like you kind of failed them, broke a promise, all of these emotions. Right. But yet he found you someone who is willing to like fight for him, be with him.
Speaker: even with all of the challenges that he's bringing with him because he came authentically and said, this is my life. I want this to be a great opportunity to build a new life because the one I was in just wasn't for me.
Speaker: yeah and I want to build that with you. you know what mean? So I think that's like inspiring to see that instead of just you weren't shied away from that, you love that he was owning it.
Speaker: and that he was doing the things to to build a different life. Yeah. And I think another important aspect that he brought to the table, like you said, he was also willing to do what needed to be done to make this work with me. And I think, especially with children,
Speaker: um sometimes it does feel like there's a little bit more sacrificing that i have to do or like i have to they they have dreams or they have things that they need to do but it's also important that he values my dreams too like just because you know he has two kids doesn't mean that their dreams matter more than me because if if it did feel that way then i think it wouldn't work for me yeah yeah I also matter, right? I'm also living my life for the first time. I'm getting married, right? Like I want to have children as well, more children, right? So um I think it you have to have also the capacity to be like, here's what I bring to the table. Here's the great stuff. Here's the difficult stuff. And what do you bring? And how can I help you soar? How can I make sure that I'm encouraging your dreams? Yeah.
Speaker: And you keep that in mind. I think it takes that next, another level of leadership. That's what I tell Justin. I think if I married a man without, that was never divorced and that was never, had never had children,
Speaker: Maybe he wouldn't have to step up as a leader the way Justin does just because he does have more to to deal with and carry. Because he has to lead. He's leading his children, and which he is such a great father. yeah like, it's just amazing to see, which I'm sure that that was probably another thing that, you know, if he wasn't,
Speaker: a great father that'd hard to 100% you know to see yourself like building a family and a life with someone that wasn't stepping up in that area yeah you know but I agree because you do I mean there are weekends you know you're like we have the kids and you're doing your own thing so it it is a sacrifice on your part too not a sacrifice meaning like oh we have to hang out the kids like they're so so yeah cute and they're beautiful girls but just saying it it just changes what your life would look like you Like you said, you married someone that, we're marrying someone that didn't have that same yeah experience. Yeah. But you can still find love, y'all. That's the point. It's like, it doesn't have to, you don't have to have your, I guess this is the biggest thing. And I think a lot of people that like want to find love, especially if they're starting over or whatever, they're thinking like, my life has to look perfect. Like my life has to, I have to have it all figured out. But like you're, you and Justin are a testament that like,
Speaker: you didn't know what you wanted and I mean your life was probably a little more put together at the time and but but like yeah you still love prevailed over his current journey Yes, 100%. You know, and we forgot we kind of skipped that over, but we were long distance, right? And then we made the choice to move to Nashville together. So we both in a way started new ah together.
Speaker: And we both had to rebuild our community, rebuild friends and rebuild everything together. So that was amazing. And then you are of you're moving in together, too, though, for the first time. So you've been doing long distance and then you went from long distance to like now we're living together in a new city with no friends, yeah with no community. And we don't know anyone here and we're just going to figure it out.
Speaker: yeah that was that is when celeste is so amazing so i met her right and it was only i think we met and only a few months later you started the book club like i when was it we met i'm trying to think but it wasn't we met in the fall i think so i moved in april i think you and i met the fall yeah it was like the fall of 2022 2023 2023
Speaker: twenty twenty three twenty nine three three Yeah. Yes, 23. Yes, 23. And then you started the SIP club the next year. Yes, April of 2024.
Speaker: Which is wild, y'all. I just have to say this because I want you to realize that anything that you have, like it takes time to grow. I remember the first one, Celeste is doing this Nashville Biccan SIP club. She kind of put it together, got the message on Instagram. I think there was like 20 or 30 girls, which was a great, we were like, wow, that's a great turnout. We're the first one. We were like 20-year-olds. Yeah, we were so excited.
Speaker: I remember like carrying in the sign. We were in this spa, and there's just like a few of us girls, and I'm like, yeah, of course I'll be there. And we're just kind of like, I had no idea at the time. This girl's just like doing a book. play I'm like, sure, girl. yeah And now, Celeste, tell me what it looks like now.
Speaker: Oh my God, yeah, has grown so much. It's the biggest, biggest blessing ever. We're at over 400 members. We're hosting about three to four events um each month for our community. And it's a social book club. It's a book club at heart, so we have our monthly book parties, but we also additionally have different events to allow the girls to, or women, I'm sorry, not girls, to get to know each other and just have fun experiences. For instance, in two weeks, we're doing a murder mystery dinner with a four four course dinner at an amazing Italian restaurant here in Nashville. And we just partnered up with a rooftop at the w So it's just so cool. We get to experience new places, new activities. um And I just love it. It's just so fulfilling. I like to describe it as such an intangible, it's kind of like the podcast. You you impact people um you have
Speaker: It's intangible. Like now these women have friends that are showing up for their birthdays, for their engagement parties, for their weddings. You can't buy that. You can't go and be like, I'm going to purchase a friend for my birthday party. Yeah. Right. Like that's something that you earn, that you build, that takes time. So the fact that this community can provide that to so many women um just is I love it. yeah I love that because that really is I'm getting so many chills because that really is the mission in a lot of things in life. I think a lot of people are looking for a community and sometimes you have to like figure out how to build it yourself or be a part of one. Right. There's so many out there. it's just like taking because I know that there's girls that are like we met. They was like, i was kind of scared to come. I don't know anybody. And that is maybe where they meet their best friend. That is the chance. And I think like whether it's the Nashville SIPP
Speaker: and book, ah Nashville Sip and Book Club or any other thing in your life. It's like you kind of have to be there for life to meet you. yeah You know, like take the opportunity because there's thankfully people like you that are building the communities. But then the people that come like like kudos to them, too, because it's sometimes it takes a lot when you're like starting over to like put yourself out of your comfort yeah zone, and get out of your house, meet new people. I know a lot of people talk about like making friends as an adult.
Speaker: you know And I love that you were like, okay, I don't have a community, so now I'm going to build one. And then it's going to be 20 girls to 400 in matter of like a couple years. Yeah. And our wait list is over 1,000. Yeah. yes was But it's also just opening so many doors because you're able to like... Like this is one thing I think I want people to realize and I do with the podcast and I think it's true in Celeste's story. Like... there's like this invisible string. There's so many ways that you're planting seeds that you can like, now you're talking to ah like venues and you're doing this. And so everything that you're in your dreams that you're wanting to build, yeah it's all opening, like meeting the right people, having the right opportunities, all of that's connected. And so it's like when you just, that's what I've loved about Celeste and I, want to ask you how you got this because I know you've done confidence coaching. Like what has really allowed you to just step in a room and be confident
Speaker: confident to like show up that way. Like, you know what i mean? What has allowed you to be like that? Yeah, I think... That's a beautiful question.
Speaker: All of that for me really stems from like within. It's not to me. I find purpose and meaning and fulfillment in creating these spaces. Like it's not about me. So when I'm able to separate me from the purpose of why I'm doing this, then i I'm just like, I don't matter as because it's not me. It's for a purpose. um And As an immigrant, you know, you know, I'm an immigrant. I moved to the United States when I was 13. Everything has been about building from the first a moment that I arrived, right? All the friends that I've built, all the the career that I have built, learning the language, any room I stepped in always felt like I'm starting from zero. So I'm so used to that.
Speaker: And it's always about being underestimated for me and then having to prove myself. And then I just get it done. So it's just to me, it's just like, you just got to show up. No one's going to show up for you.
Speaker: You got to represent yourself, whether you're white, brown, black, like whatever you were given, like just step in, step up, raise your chin up.
Speaker: and speak with confidence about what about what you desire because no matter what you look like, your heart doesn't lie. And people feel that. And I think despite my accent, despite how, you know, my different culture that i could bring to Nashville, I think that's something about me. I know that it will shine through no matter what because your heart, it just shines. You know that, right? Your heart shines when you speak. That's something that you can't buy. You can't. So when you focus on that,
Speaker: on like how can I make sure that I eloquently share my heart more to others, that's when you can step into that confidence more. It's more about the inner work that you do within yourself um because then the outside doesn't matter as much. And when you have people with you, when you have a purpose with you, it just grows. And the mindset work that you we bond over, so important, which has built my confidence as well. um And putting in the reps, putting in the reps. It's not just, yes, do the affirmations, do the journaling, but then go and show up and then fail and then do it again and then do it again. So everything is a learning opportunity. And to be great, I just have to keep doing it.
Speaker: You're so, so right. And one thing that you said that I think you've been good at for a long time is being comfortable being uncomfortable. Yeah. And so now it's like it's not probably even as uncomfortable because it's been the story of your life since you got here. Right. You're like always feeling a little uncomfortable, a little like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing. This is new for me. And so you've just built that muscle with repetition of doing it over and over. And I feel that because even with the podcast, when I was listening to the beginning episodes to compare it to now, I can just tell the evolution. And again, it's not about me, but it's like, I wanna bring that to others to be like, look at this journey because you know like we know, like I'm no one special. Anyone can change their life at any time, but they have to make the decision yeah and then take the actions and then just keep moving in that direction. you know? Yeah.
Speaker: And that's often hard when we lean into just our emotions instead of going like, this does feel uncomfortable and I can feel it for a minute and then let's move through it, you know, just like you did with the stepmom coach. So I want to talk though really quick because now I'm bebopping about, but Celeste found love and it's exciting because she's getting married in just a couple months. So it's coming fast. And like, how is that feeling? Like, do do you feel like,
Speaker: That's just like the next step in your life. Like, how do you think the partnership is really elevated to you to be successful? Because I wonder, I know you're already strong, but do you feel like Justin and that partnership has been part of how you've been able to be so strong and everything that you've created?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. um I'm so excited for the wedding now. i Fun fact, I wasn't necessarily a little girl who like dreamed of her wedding. So stepping into that now has been exciting. yeah and I got my dress ready from Peru. I have to show you later. yeah I got it from a designer. um But no, having Justin um in my life is definitely like, he's a rock for me. he um He's a grounding presence. He's so supportive. He's not intimidated by a confident, successful woman. And like, that's the man that I need in my life. And just...
Speaker: Again, why did I overlook him having two children or being divorced for other women who would be like, oh, I can't even get to know him. Like, let me run away. Right. It's because of his character. At the end of the day, I trust his heart. um He's very supportive. And that is what I value most from a man, ultimately. Like you are, so he's strong in his masculine, has a very confident man. He goes after what he wants and he's very tenacious and he supports me. And he is the type of man that will be like, walk in front of me. I want to see how everybody stares at you because I have no concern.
Speaker: And while other men would be like, no, they're looking at you. Oh, my God. Like, ah, you know, like just that presence is beautiful. It's inspiring to to be around. And another thing that I tell my girlfriends that I really value about Justin is that.
Speaker: Justin and I have done therapy together. That first year when we moved to Nashville, right? We talk about changes. We moved in for the first time. um You know, the kids now are experiencing, you know, this new home with us. and There's a lot of moving parts.
Speaker: Not everybody's collaborative. um So him and I had to go to therapy and like talk about what was going on what emotions were happening, how was going to handle it. He had a little bit of guilt. You talked about guilt. He was holding guilt and it was affecting how he was showing up in our relationship. And I told him like, you need to figure it out, your guilt, because I'm not going to.
Speaker: the way guilt shows up in a new partnership is very interesting. And um it just affected me negatively. So I was like, you I either give you more space if that's what you need, or we work through it together. or you know And he was able to recognize it because he wasn't recognizing it. so i think And there's things too that he's helped me overcome because I'm not perfect. I have my own trauma and my own um imperfection. So just the fact that we were able to come together and discuss these emotions. um The therapist then would give us exercises individually to work on. Like that was so enlightening. Like the a regular man is not doing that, right? So if you find somebody, whether they've been divorced or not, who's willing to do that kind of work with you, that's extremely valuable. And no one's perfect.
Speaker: What matters is that they put in the work to be better. 100% agree. I think you were never going to find the person perfect person. I think you said that like if you're if you have a checklist and you're like, I'm not doing divorced men, I'm not doing divorce. I'm not doing anybody with kids. I'm not like the character is going to speak more than their previous life circumstances. Right. It's like, how are they showing up for those children or how did they, you know, how did they separate from that marriage and how, do you know what i mean? Because I agree, like I, and I know Justin personally too, and I do agree he's a great man and he's confident, but he's extremely kind. So it's not like this ah arrogance of like, I'm confident. It's like, there's a kindness and ah ah a willingness to be vulnerable and and soft and honest, you know, that I think people can just appreciate and see, you know what I mean? and
Speaker: I think a lot of people don't realize that, and and I think a lot of women are feeling this right and right now, and and maybe even men, but like ah ah women don't need them to be like strong all the time. you know There's moments that we werere you don't have to be like perfectly strong and like nothing bothers you. like You just have to be open to like how can I improve? yes like How can I look at this and see it?
Speaker: Instead of like pretending that it's not there. yeah Because as the truth always reveals itself. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so that's not very safe when you don't feel like honesty isn't being brought forth. Yeah. You know what mean? And I feel like a lot of women just want you felt safety in the relationship because you knew whatever trial was going to come up, the Justin was willing to navigate and figure it out with you instead of like run away from it. So it's almost like going to battle. So it is more of a strength. Like the man could either like run towards the problem and figure out how to fix it or like shy away from it. you' Right.
Speaker: And you're seeing that this is more attractive to run into the battle yeah together than it is for him to pretend it doesn't even exist. Yes, 100% beautifully said. And I think another thing that you and I have spoken about is the importance of whether it is a friend or a romantic lover, the importance of a growth mindset, which is all what that we're speaking about.
Speaker: um Because if somebody has the attitude of like, this is how I am, this is i never going to change. This is just how I've always been. And like, you just have to like, get used to it and accept it. And they're not open to let's discuss and let's improve. That's a red flag right there. That's like, that's for a friend or a lover.
Speaker: You have to be open. You have to have that growth mindset. If not, non-negotiable. 100%. And I've talked about it a lot on the podcast. I mean, that was like a huge thing for me in the marriage. Like I, you can't change someone to grow. you They can't change their mind. You can't. You know, you can influence in like in your like as who you are and lead by example. But like if they don't want to go there, it's their journey. And so you just have to like we're not on the same path, you know, and I think that's that's really hard for a lot of people, i think, to understand, like to let people go in that way, you know, because sometimes you grow.
Speaker: you know in a different direction than them. And it's like, you kind of again, the guilt piece that we talked about. Sometimes you feel guilty for outgrowing them, but at the end of the day, it's just, it I don't think everything's built to last, unfortunately. Not that not that it can't you can't improve, but whenever there's two people involved, it's just, if you're not on the same journey, yeah you're not.
Speaker: And I think another, something else that's present to me is going back to that guilt idea, right? Because guilt is a normal and perfectly fine emotion that we all feel, but you have to look back and be able to say, you know, I tried my best. Like I did the best that I could because guilt will eat you alive for years of years of years. So whether it worked out or it didn't, it's like I did the best that I could.
Speaker: I did the best that I could. And we learn from our mistakes. We learn from those experiences. Um, And owning up to whatever faults, you know, you had, if you, you know, we had, but i just wanted to throw that reminder to like, let go of that guilt because it will only like, it will be a ceiling for people to grow emotionally, professionally, and really anything. You're so right. i I like had written something that I saw that said the crazy thing is that you um feel so you felt so bad about abandoning them when you had no worries about abandoning yourself for all those years.
Speaker: And when you kind of think about that, like to keep the peace or to appease someone else, you were just abandoning yourself for so long.
Speaker: And then you finally realize, oh, why didn't I care about myself? Why was I more worried about abandoning them than I was myself? And that's kind of sad when you think about it, you know? And that really helped me go like, no, I can't live a life where I'm abandoning myself. Right.
Speaker: Right. Because you can't even be a good partner in that way. Like who wants a partner that's staying out of guilt? Yeah. Yes. You know what mean? But I also think it's beautiful because it does show your heart. Like you are such a beautiful soul who gives. But it it was maybe the wake up call you needed of like you could keep giving, but you also need to give to yourself. Now it's time to give to you kind of vibe. um And your point to who wants to be with someone who's with you out of guilt.
Speaker: I literally talk about with Justin about those things. And I'm like, please leave me like, please like, and I promise that if we're ever in that space, like we are not just gonna stay with each other out of comfort or guilt or that's not fair. I deserve somebody who loves me fully. You deserve somebody who loves you fully. And you know, we're we're grownups. I 100% agree with that because I do think they're, you know, now that I've talked to so many people that are married and divorced, I think one key thing is a lot of people do stay out of comfort.
Speaker: And I think they even think they want to be in that marriage more than they actually do just out of comfort. It's less about, oh, I'm so in love with that person and more about I'm so familiar with this life.
Speaker: Yeah, that's so true. You know, and so i that isn't really how you grow, though. You know what I mean? It's like doing the same old thing. And don't get me wrong. There's some people that that is their path and they are in this comfort forever. Not everyone has like, I mean, I like to think everyone has big dreams, but, you know, everyone's dreams are different and some could be more simple. But I feel like if you're someone that is like, this doesn't feel like what I want for my life.
Speaker: but you're just staying in the comfort. And that doesn't even mean leaving a relationship. That means like you're in your city and you're like, i just don't really feel like I'm meant to be here anymore, but you just know it. So you can't imagine like going anywhere else. It's like, I would challenge that nudge to take it.
Speaker: because I don't yeah feel like it's there without purpose. you know like Even with Justin, like okay you thought maybe I'll never see him again, but then he kept pursuing you and and you're like, there's purpose in this. yes right like There's a reason that this man is like continuing to show up the way he is in my life and being this intentional with me because there's probably something more here. yeah like Is that how it felt? 100%. That's how it felt.
Speaker: Because deciding to move across like, well, not across the country, but I mean, it's decent. You can't drive. a je I don't know what the drive's like. It's like 15 hours. Yeah. So it's not like a quick drive back. So yeah you come here and you're like, we've never even lived together and we're just gonna move to a new city together. Yeah. And you like, did you think at all, like, maybe this isn't going work?
Speaker: Yes, those thoughts definitely at some times. were kind of scared? Yeah, because there were things I was finding out too. i was like, oh, there's new things. you know i need to How am I going to learn to manage all these things? But I think why it worked out?
Speaker: for me was when I met him, remember that trip back in that summer when I first met him, I had already by myself planted the seed, right? We're talking about seeds. I'm ready to move out of nash of of New Jersey. Oh, you had already, yeah you had- That was my individual seed.
Speaker: And I remember on that trip, I was exploring what it would look like to move Florida if I did. But my seat, but I wasn't defined. Like it wasn't like this. Like it wasn't Florida. You just knew out of New Jersey. Out of Jersey. Florida was a thought. Yeah. Florida was a thought because I had an aunt there um and some cousins. So I was like, OK, this could be an option.
Speaker: And I was starting to like look at apartments. So that seat was there. Then I meet Justin, we started getting to know each other. And he, a few months later, he's like, how about we travel to Nashville to hang out for a weekend?
Speaker: because that's close to him in Kentucky. But you're like, okay, there's more to do there. Because you're a city girl. So you're like... Yeah. I'm like, oh, there's an actual city here. Okay. Yes. Let's go.
Speaker: So that's how every seed then started to grow. And then we we did start discussing what if we moved in together? What would that look like? Where would it be? And then... here we are. here i know i I love it so much because like, again, you're right. That's you. It kind of started with that thought that probably you were open enough to love. You weren't like, I'm not dating men. You were like, I'm open to, you know, whatever, but I'm not trying to get married tomorrow. Like, Yeah. And you and I have talked about that. I was the same way. Like I was never that like planning out my wedding kind of like, ah you know, and I think some people have that dream and other people don't. So it's not always I've never been. oh I'm just trying to find my husband, you know, like. But um so you were just open to like meeting new people.
Speaker: And i love that you didn't close the door on. someone because of their past. I think that like says a lot and I like want people listening to realize this like men and women like there are like really amazing people like Celeste who's like beautiful has all this drive and accomplishments and ah like a super smart woman and she's like no I'm not shutting the door on someone's decisions from the past I'm looking at their character and who they are yes right and I think that's like beautiful to see I think a lot of people need to hear that like work on who you're becoming don't try to be so pushed back by your past and who could ever love me because of x y and z I think a lot of people sit in that and like it's too late for me I can't do it you know whatever
Speaker: I doubt Justin thought at it like, you know, like he opened his mind to like, well, I mean, this beautiful woman in Miami and like now she's going to be my wife. Like, you know what i mean? And but there's probably a point in in his life when he was in Kentucky and he was lost that yeah he couldn't even imagine that. But it's because he opened himself to the idea and then he pursued it. hmm.
Speaker: Right. And so anyways, I think that's beautiful. And like seeing guys together is beautiful. So now that you're going to enter this next chapter of like becoming a wife, like what is that bringing on as like for emotions for you after all this starting over, building a community like.
Speaker: i'm still I'm still processing, girl. I'm still processing. But that um being a wife, yeah. I mean, I'm just, I hope that most of our relationship, because we've done a lot of personal development, stays very similar. There's no big changes. Like, we want to keep working on ourselves. We want to maybe one day start a business together and just merge even further our lives. Yeah.
Speaker: But one of the things that's important to me is to continue to be me. Like I know I love him and I would do anything for him and we're gonna be married, but having my own identity and being my own person is also very important to me.
Speaker: So, and I think that's why we're successful. That's why I'm able to be a stepmom because if I was fully devoted, in and and didn't have anything that was like my passion and like something that I love to do and that I was able to do for myself maybe I would lose myself a little bit in that so I just look forward to continuing to merge our lives in a beautiful healthy way as we heal our traumas together and just continue to build our businesses and hopefully get to a point where we can have fun together
Speaker: I love that. And I love that you said that about like, it's not about like when women say like, I want to kind of have my own self. It's not that you're not dedicated and devoted to him, but I do think a lot of people, both men and women lose themselves in a marriage.
Speaker: It's easy to do. It's easy to wrap your whole identity into that person. And I think over time that can be extremely detrimental, unhealthy, because people, I mean, I think back even my mom losing my dad, like that was not divorce. It was just death.
Speaker: Yeah. Right. have been so hard for her. And so you kind of like lose that person and then you have to find yourself again. and And when you've already kind of had a solid foundation of who you are, not that losing someone is ever easy, but you, the difference is moving through it without like not having any of yourself still intact.
Speaker: Yeah. Right. Because you poured it all into someone else and you didn't keep any of your life or yourself. Yeah. You know, because I've met a lot of women that's like, oh, they stopped having their friendships. They stopped calling their girlfriends. They stopped, you know, like and then you lose that relationship. You get divorced and then you have no community.
Speaker: yeah And it's already isolating enough. And I felt like I had a lot of friends. you know what I mean? And so you kind of put yourself in like a spot that's not ideal to continue to grow, you know? So and I do think I think one thing that's magnetic about you, Celeste, is that I truly believe that men and women like find it attractive when your partner has their own goals.
Speaker: Yeah. I think that it just allows some pressure off to like, you know, so Justin gets to watch you like go after your dreams. And I think that's like beautiful. Yeah. You know, sent that was beautifully said. Yeah. And I love watching him go after his dreams and like,
Speaker: See, I mean, I've shared with you like the ups and downs of even watching him and seeing him where he's at now and how hard he's worked. I love it so much. Like, I love it so much. I love somebody who has um different goals and getting to see your partner improve is beautiful. Seeing anybody improve is beautiful. beautiful And I love that because you you have your own dreams, but you're still his like number one fan. You're still supporter. Like Hill Posting, you're like the first one in company. You're like, oh, yeah you're like you know what i mean? You're like, you can still be someone's like number one cheerleader and go after your own dreams. yeah Like cheering people on and like,
Speaker: Letting him grow while you're still like building on your own, you know what i mean? And then there's things that you do together like I think more people need to see that kind of dynamic like it doesn't have to be one person's dreams or the other Yeah, that's so true. You know like both people can work towards dreams and still coat like parent well because you guys still do tons of things with the girls and it's like beautiful do we do we bring them along we try to have a lot of experiences with them so they're they're happy girls they're spoiled girls they're they're doing good they're doing so good i love that and so i think like i'll
Speaker: I just want you guys to take from this episode, really, like Celeste is just such an example. And I feel like I want you to take from it like this experience for her, right? Like planting the seed, knowing what she kind of high level wanted for her life. And then it came to fruition, you know, in a lot of ways. She got to move to a new city, build a new community, things that never would have happened if she just would have like let it be a thought.
Speaker: You know? and But it took her work because she had to like get the stepmom coach, go to counseling with her, but like navigate some really hard things. And I think that's the behind the scenes that most people don't see is that like, it just looks like, oh, Celeste's put together because before we wrap this up, I'll even mention in the midst of all that, she also left her corporate career to really grow. So like you were going from like corporate girly and then trying to balance entrepreneurship to like full on sending it and doing your entrepreneurship, which yeah that takes a lot of navigating while you're living in a new city, having a new relationship. Yeah.
Speaker: Just because something is hard doesn't mean that it's wrong. So, right, being a stepmom could be hard. It is hard. It's not easy, but it doesn't mean that it's wrong. Starting a new business is hard, but it doesn't mean that it's wrong. So I think sometimes people do romanticize relationships and say, it should be so easy.
Speaker: It should just be You know, yeah no problems at all. And it's like, well, yeah, I mean, there should be a level of like it flows and it works out, but i don't think you should necessarily be afraid of problems ah as long as people have the right mindset to wanna work through it together because it could be so healing when you do do that. No, you're right. it shouldn't be afraid of problems as long as you're willing to solve them. And both people are willing to solve them. Then problems aren't that scary. It's just when you don't want to do the work to figure out how to solve them, right?
Speaker: and or you just And you ignore them all together and then just build, build, build, right? So, okay, I love that. so And it's funny because I was going to end with that because starting over doesn't always happen because something fell apart.
Speaker: Sometimes it happens because something beautiful was built. And I feel like that's what it is. So whether you're rebuilding after loss, moving to a new city, blending families or simply becoming the next version of yourself, don't assume challenges mean you're on the wrong path.
Speaker: Maybe they're simply asking you to grow into the life that you've been praying for. So Celeste, i was I'm so happy to have you on everyone. um Thank you so much for listening to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan.
Speaker: You matter.
