Transcript
Heather Morgan: I spent a really long... time trying to figure out my life. just like most of us. And the wildest part is...
Heather Morgan: The most. peace I ever felt. came when I finally Stopped. Trying to.
Heather Morgan: Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so... Happy you're here. Well, hello and welcome to the podcast. If you found your way here, I know that you were meant to and I'm so glad you're spending this time with me.
Heather Morgan: It's... Wild to think about. For over 100 episodes, I've been talking about trusting your path no matter how messy it looks. And I truly still believe that.
Heather Morgan: There's going to be messes on our journey. And all of us are going to have to navigate things that we probably would have never asked for in our lives or chosen.
Heather Morgan: But. The wild thing is, is I understand. Why? We need to trust our path no matter how... messy it looks. a little differently than I did before.
Heather Morgan: And it's I trust my path because I trust. The one. leading it.
Heather Morgan: Now, as I talk through this episode that I know is probably meant for your ears, I just want to preface that I'm not here. to tell you what you have to believe I'm here to tell you the truth about what has happened in my life because this podcast has been about honesty and sharing my journey. And so it just wouldn't be authentic of me.
Heather Morgan: to share my story without. Talking about... God. Because he has entered my life in a way that I never...
Heather Morgan: really could have anticipated. And. So today we're going to talk a little about why I'm leaning on him when I... Think about trusting my plan.
Heather Morgan: And. If you've been listening along. I think you know you're here because life has started over. You're searching for answers about life fulfillment. How do we do this? How do I become the person I want to be? How do I create the life I want to create? And so many times in our life,
Heather Morgan: especially after big starting over moments like divorce, why I started this and what led me down that path. Any big life changes that can kind of trigger these moments of almost like rock bottom or... You wanting to re...
Heather Morgan: think, what does this all mean? And I think back a lot about just... losing, you know, my father in my twenties. And then Getting divorced in my 30s. Like there's just been.
Heather Morgan: So many things in my life that have just been really big life quakes. And. Now, as this like grown woman, I'm here going. Okay. I've got to figure this out because.
Heather Morgan: I've had some really hard things happen in the last. You know the first half of my life. And... I want to figure things out moving forward. And.
Heather Morgan: As I've talked on this podcast, you know, it's about personal growth and healing. And some of the episodes that have hit people the most is just... knowing that I'm going through hard things and I'm still keeping this positive perspective.
Heather Morgan: And I'm so grateful that I had that to share. But there were times when... You know, It was really, really hard. I've talked about it before, manifestation. I've studied so much neuroscience. I've studied and read so many self -help books. and about mindset. And you know that's my jam.
Heather Morgan: And I loved it, not even just for me, but I loved to share what I found and what I was searching for. And. The interesting part about all that is... As I'm searching for the answers and the easy button, which I wish was there, which It is, but it isn't right. What I learned is what I was, I was looking for something.
Heather Morgan: I just didn't know. That what I really. would find peace in.
Heather Morgan: was finding God.
Heather Morgan: And I almost just kind of stumbled along the answer I i wasn't really looking for. And I'll tell you something. about anyone on any kind of spiritual journey. No matter where you are in your life, in your journey.
Heather Morgan: with your spirituality. There's a moment that If you... haven't chose. to believe in God or pick up the Bible or go to church.
Heather Morgan: you it's available there's no one that doesn't know about church or the bible or at least a high level understanding of what they think god is right so if you were looking to find the answers you would have picked up the bible i knew growing up mormon with a father that had and parents i don't want to just say my father but i i talked to him more about the religion my family was very much believers.
Heather Morgan: in jesus christ and and all of that And I just had way too many questions. And if you listen to the episodes I talk about growing up Mormon, I have a couple, you'll know that even in those episodes.
Heather Morgan: I was a skeptic. I just think. That. I think so logically that so much couldn't make sense. And obviously that's why I'm searching for answers in neuroscience and the manifestation. I'm reading like Neville Goddard. If you haven't heard of him, you could look him up. I'm i'm searching everywhere.
Heather Morgan: and And even he like refers, I don't know that he was necessarily Christian, but he refers to the Bible as like instructions of life. And when I started like thinking about that and studying like the nervous system as well and ah how you regulate your nervous system, and there was a lot of my inner work that was taking me in all these different directions.
Heather Morgan: And. I realized that like even. The... Ten Commandments, i tied it or the I tied them all back to like... nervous system regulation, like how...
Heather Morgan: in abiding by those things. it would be best for your nervous system, honestly. And then I started thinking, is there something here? Like... Everything I'm learning is.
Heather Morgan: This like instructions for how to live. life in alignment and in happiness and in joy. The most? But the piece I wasn't really tying at the time.
Heather Morgan: to that was A relationship. With Jesus. because I I just didn't know what that looked like. And I remember There was a night when I had. Started.
Heather Morgan: trying to just unpack it and there's this part of me that's like let's be logical here And then this other part of me that just... I was thinking logically, like... You know, there's a lot of people In this world that don't.
Heather Morgan: Believe in God. A lot. And there was a point when I said I was agnostic, right? I didn't know. I didn't ever say there wasn't, but I could never be sure. And so I wanted to call. it what it was for me.
Heather Morgan: And I thought to myself, there's a lot of people that don't believe in. God, don't believe in Jesus. But you know what? I hear almost every person does when you hear those stories about their life's about to end. or there's really something really bad ends up happening in their life and they don't have anywhere else to turn.
Heather Morgan: That's when they pray. That's when they go to God.
Heather Morgan: But if they completely didn't believe that it would do anything. They didn't believe there could possibly be. Why would they still seek that out?
Heather Morgan: Why would that be the last name they call and the time where they think it's over, why would that be your last last cry for help?
Heather Morgan: Why would in your biggest moment of weakness? Would you cry to something that you don't believe in?
Heather Morgan: And that question had me.
Heather Morgan: Really thinking.
Heather Morgan: And then... If I had not already experienced enough of my really low moments, I hit another.
Heather Morgan: And God meant me there.
Heather Morgan: And I... I can't say. the the clear moment. other than there was... One moment where I saw this flash of.
Heather Morgan: what life would look like.
Heather Morgan: If there wasn't. A god.
Heather Morgan: And it was. Dark. And it was. Sad. And it was. A moment that I didn't want to hold on to any longer than was shown to me.
Heather Morgan: And I thought, I remember I just started... profusely crying.
Heather Morgan: Because I was trying to convince myself, wait, there's just... No way that could be. But then when I was convincing myself that maybe it isn't true, I didn't like what I saw when I... saw what it looked like without.
Heather Morgan: God part of this world. and part of my world.
Heather Morgan: And.
Heather Morgan: I know everyone gets... to places on their own journey because I couldn't have been convinced. five years ago that I would have. this. heart posture that I do that I would literally be s Seeing God.
Heather Morgan: rearrange things in my life. close the doors. Open other ones. change my desires.
Heather Morgan: Not because I was trying, because when I would talk about the identity work, oh, I just want to stop doing something. I just... And I know everyone's journey is different. So I'm not going to say you believe in God and then he makes it easy for everyone or he takes, you know, the the toxic desires from your heart because I know.
Heather Morgan: everyone has a different path. But for me, there was so many things that he was just like. removing and became no longer who I am.
Heather Morgan: And it wasn't even me trying to change it. It was him saying, this isn't for you and taking the desire away.
Heather Morgan: And I know that sounds... To someone who's just like, okay. That would sound so wild, but probably not any or wilder than the people that would listen to me yap about manifestation.
Heather Morgan: Because...
Heather Morgan: It all ticks and ties to, again, like... back to neuroscience and energy and there is so much there, right? But God designed that. And even through the Bible, I studied everything about the RAS, reticular activating system, and how the mind and brain works. And then I started reading about...
Heather Morgan: Okay, well. The happiest people in life. A lot of them are believe in God, majority. There was a large percentage. I can't remember the stats. And I thought, well, why is that?
Heather Morgan: Like what is that? Is that God? Is that? But even if... You think about it, when you the stress levels when you can let it go and let God.
Heather Morgan: The thing that was hardest in my life was trying to carry the burden of everything on my own. I was like, it's just me. And I remember... crying on my floor. like You took my dad. I'm here alone. I have nothing. Not I have nothing, literally, but I felt so isolated, so alone. i I didn't want to be angry, but I wanted to be honest. I was just i was like, there's no way.
Heather Morgan: That this could be how. A god would want it to. But I didn't understand it yet. And I realized two things can be true. You could not completely understand.
Heather Morgan: The things that you have to experience in life and still know that God loves you. when he He's good.
Heather Morgan: And I think that's what makes it hard because we want to just, our logical minds just want to think one way. We want it. see proof and before we go for faith. And I learned that even when it comes to identity. Everything I was studying about...
Heather Morgan: All of that. And even if you think about quantum physics, like you have to act as if. You have to become before the reality catches up. and
Heather Morgan: That is just like faith. You have to put faith. And God. Whether you see it immediately. ah Or not.
Heather Morgan: And most of the time you don't.
Heather Morgan: but who you become in that gap of like staying faithful. is so... Important. And.
Heather Morgan: I realized that in so many other things because I love to piece things together. I'm a big picture person. So I think about it. Even I might've mentioned, I'm going back to the gym, right? And I got a personal trainer for a while and I thought about it and it's like,
Heather Morgan: you When you go to the gym, You've seen it happen for other people, right? So you're kind of like, yeah, if I go to the gym consistently, you see those big transformations like it works. But you've really got to have faith that you can consistently show up because you going one or two times isn't going to change.
Heather Morgan: Your physique. Yeah. And you'll go and go and you're like, nothing's happening, nothing's happening, right? And you won't see it right away. And a lot of people just be like, okay, it doesn't work, I'm quitting. Or not even it doesn't work because they've seen it in other people, oh, it won't work for me. We always love to just find excuses to go back to our comfort.
Heather Morgan: Go back to how we've always been. But the gym taught me, no, if you keep going. Eventually. The fruits of your labor will be shown. Your strength will be.
Heather Morgan: You'll be stronger. When you once picked up... 15 pounds and it felt heavy. Now you're lifting. 25. Whatever. Numbers are irrelevant.
Heather Morgan: don't call me Don't come at me, all right? I'm getting strong. But I'm saying you slowly see the progress of things happening in your life when you trust.
Heather Morgan: That if I continue. down this path. I will see. The fruits.
Heather Morgan: And that's how faith works. And you don't. But you don't. In this relationship with God, I realize. I don't do it just for the fruits. I do it for the love.
Heather Morgan: Because I want to abide. To living in the way that.
Heather Morgan: Is... I feel best. In love and kindness. moving through the world the way that I felt like my father. always was.
Heather Morgan: And it's crazy because I think about his faith a lot because we've talked about it. And. You know, he just, he never.
Heather Morgan: He never... He forced it on me, his beliefs, right? And I feel like growing up Mormon, if if you know, you know. um A lot of. People, you know. a lot of families it feels like okay you have to Be Mormon. You have to go on your mission. You have to do these things. You have to... you know, keep um an image. And so you really end up having this like.
Heather Morgan: non -belief, but performative. Christianity. And I never wanted to be a performative Christian. and I didn't strive for that.
Heather Morgan: you know I remember even when I stopped going to church, a little around high school and I I still was listening to the rules. I think I talked about this before, but I wasn't really like so claiming Mormon. And then in my 20s, when I started drinking, people were like, oh, are you're Mormon. And I would never say I was because I was like. Mormons don't drink.
Heather Morgan: And I realized that it was it wasn't because I was like, oh, look at me. And I and know i know people still sin. And I'm not judging that. But for me, it was like... I can't just say. I'm something that I don't really believe in.
Heather Morgan: And so even when people were like, oh, you're Mormon, I'd say I grew up Mormon. And then if people were like, oh, are you Christian? I mean, are you Christian? I'd just be like, oh, you know, I'm spiritual.
Heather Morgan: Because i I didn't really want to title something that I wasn't fully embodying.
Heather Morgan: But I realize now that... I'm like...
Heather Morgan: Trying to navigate this new. Truth that like I'm a Christian Which you think, growing up Mormon, it wouldn't be weird to say, but I... I'm.
Heather Morgan: I...
Heather Morgan: I found a love in... something that I never thought that I would. And I know it's the path I'm meant to be on.
Heather Morgan: And.
Heather Morgan: I just want you to know that I... I'm glad you're still here listening to me. Just be honest about this journey for me because I didn't know when I hit record that.
Heather Morgan: my faith would be transformed over all this time.
Heather Morgan: And. I finally. I'm at a place where it's like, okay, I'm letting go and letting God. And what that actually means to me is that. Uh...
Heather Morgan: Take the next step. that I know I'm supposed to take without demanding that God shows me. Steps 2 through 45. Because I trust that I just need to take the new next.
Heather Morgan: Right. step I pray, I listen, I move, I pay attention, and I trust. And then I have to leave some room. For him to show me.
Heather Morgan: And I think... Often that's the part that seems... I like read something that said, if it's if it's not from God, it feels rushed. It feels in a hurry. You have to make the decision fast, fast, fast.
Heather Morgan: But God's like a quiet voice.
Heather Morgan: And.
Heather Morgan: That's... I mean, it... it If I tick and tie, and my pastor talked about this, if you can think of the most loving father in the world. And especially because I've had such a loving father. I can.
Heather Morgan: feel exactly That.
Heather Morgan: In my relationship. With Jesus.
Heather Morgan: And. It's - it's - Literally like... That person that just wants the absolute. best for you. It's not to like, oh, all these rules and you're a sinner and you're, it's not like that.
Heather Morgan: And I think the way it was so easy for me that it just, it's crazy it never clicked before is that that's exactly how my dad was. I could have made any mistake in the book and he would have loved me through it.
Heather Morgan: And he would lead by his loving example. And that's all I want to do.
Heather Morgan: And so I'm not asking you to. you know, believe as I believe. or pick up a Bible. Although I think it's I mean, it's a great read.
Heather Morgan: But. I'm just saying that. I'm here to love you through. It.
Heather Morgan: All of it. All the messes, all the starting overs, because I know. Just like I've spoken before, like I thought starting over after my divorce would be a one -time shot. And I have... changed and started over seven or eight times now.
Heather Morgan: And. I probably will continue to evolve as I hope you do on this journey.
Heather Morgan: And I'm. This is me being vulnerable with you. like i I feel. Because I feel like if you're listening and you know me and you know my heart, I just have to be honest. I'm gonna be. Bold in my faith.
Heather Morgan: And this isn't like, okay, I'm going to become louder and preach at everybody all the time and like turn this podcast into something it isn't. But. I have to stop playing small about something that has profoundly changed me.
Heather Morgan: Just because I'm worried about how someone might receive it.
Heather Morgan: And if my purpose is to shine a light on the messy parts of the journey so somebody else can see their way through. I can't leave out the thing that turned the light on.
Heather Morgan: for me.
Heather Morgan: And I'm telling you all of this with just... The biggest open heart. And so much love. To everyone listening.
Heather Morgan: Because I know. Our lives are going to be filled. We're starting over stories. And moments we feel rock bottom. Moments we don't understand. Things that we would never ask for. And I want you to have a place to feel seen in that.
Heather Morgan: Because I've been lost. I've questioned everything. I've started over too and I'll probably have to start over again. And I didn't know what was next either. And some days I still don't.
Heather Morgan: But I don't have to know exactly where the path ends. to trust where I'm being led. And either do you.
Heather Morgan: So again. I say to trust your path no matter how messy it looks.
Heather Morgan: Because God doesn't make mistakes.
Heather Morgan: And. Unfortunately, sometimes... The things that happen are painful. And we need to take the heaviness off.
Heather Morgan: Because when I was trying to unpack. everything by myself. I don't think I could have survived. Without. The love of God.
Heather Morgan: And now I look forward. to reading the word. to spending time. understanding.
Heather Morgan: The relationship that truly means more in my life than any other.
Heather Morgan: And I believe God can mean us all. In. The Mass. The detours. The things we had wished. had gone differently. And then.
Heather Morgan: Take us somewhere. meaningful.
Heather Morgan: Because... He did that for me.
Heather Morgan: He saved me at my lowest point. He showed me the strength I needed to go on. And I'm forever grateful for that. It's like. Think about having that like one friend that was there at the moment that you're like, I will never.
Heather Morgan: Forget that you were here. I am forever changed by. your grace, your love. that moment you were there for me. It's like that. like i'm not I'm not giving that up. i'm I'm This is the best friend I could ever have.
Heather Morgan: Best relationship I've ever been in.
Heather Morgan: And. i I just can't be quiet about it.
Heather Morgan: So... As I wrap this up about trusting.
Heather Morgan: God's plan. Wow. can you if you're If you've listened... Just be real with me. If you listen from the beginning, you're going. what is happening. And if you haven't heard the earlier episodes, you'll know why this seems.
Heather Morgan: wilder than the mess that you thought this podcast would be. but I'm going to... you know, give some space for this as well as I, you know,
Heather Morgan: I've reached 100 episodes and I'm so grateful for that milestone. And I'm moving into a little bit of a six -week break with the podcast. to work on some things and spend some time.
Heather Morgan: trusting in God's plan. And. I'm not going anywhere, of course, and I'm going to bring back. Six episodes all about starting over. that were some of my most listened to, my most comments. that listeners really resonated with. So I'll package those up.
Heather Morgan: and repurpose those over the next six weeks so that you can kind of Listen to those and not miss my voice. But if you haven't listened to all of them from the beginning,
Heather Morgan: This is your time to binge because it really is a story. And the evolution of this. Girl now or woman. to the messy one at the beginning, I think you'll just hear.
Heather Morgan: the healing in my voice. And that was God. I tried to do the healing by myself. I tried to do all the inner work and don't get me wrong. There's nothing that I learned or that I did in that journey to finding God that was.
Heather Morgan: probably not It was probably all necessary, right? There's good things in a lot of the self -help and inner work I was doing. But I was never going to find this level of peace without finding God.
Heather Morgan: And I know that now. Because I searched.
Heather Morgan: So... I'm going to now leave a little room. For God to show me what's next. for this podcast, for everything. And because I'm fully.
Heather Morgan: trusting. Him. And I realized that. Maybe trusting God's plan sometimes mean means... means Taking the next step.
Heather Morgan: But maybe... Other times it means not rushing to fill the space. before he has a chance to.
Heather Morgan: So I'm gonna let him do his Thing. I'm going to... Send you all the love. and light in the world and know that
Heather Morgan: There's a journey for all of us. He has a plan for each of us. And. Wherever you are in your journey, You're loved.
Heather Morgan: You're not behind. You're not doing it wrong. If you don't feel this certain way and you're like, why? There's nothing wrong with you. I've been there. I felt that too. But I will tell you, sometimes you have to open your heart.
Heather Morgan: Open your heart. to let things come in. You have to be open to receiving it. I talked about that even in the identity, right? That even comes to anything from our life.
Heather Morgan: And that comes with building a relationship with anyone. You have to. Open yourself up to it.
Heather Morgan: Put the fear down and have a little faith. It all translates.
Heather Morgan: So until we meet again at the end of September, you'll get some other episodes that will be really helpful for starting over and your identity. it it all ticks and ties it all It's coming together for you. So I just want you to continue to trust your path, no matter how messy it looks.
Heather Morgan: And if you don't know where the path is going yet. Maybe they leave a little room. For God to show you.
Heather Morgan: This was Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You. matter.
