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00:00:01
Is It Working?
89 Plays4 years ago
An open and honest discussion about whether the overwhelming amount of information, including this podcast, is actually being applied, working, and doing anything.
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Transcript
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello.
The Art of Podcasting: Balancing Relaxation and Tension
00:00:04
Speaker
I like when we say hello, because even if you're looking really pissed off before this, me, when you start the record, then you look like you're smiling. Are you referring to me or you? You. Why, why do I look pissed off? I just mean, we've sat here. This is not an exaggeration. So we started talking about what we were going to talk about the meeting before the meeting.
Choosing Podcast Topics: Audience vs. Personal Interests
00:00:29
Speaker
I don't even know what time it is. Our podcast is slotted for 1.30. Yeah, it's Tuesday afternoon. So it's been at least an hour, an hour and 17 minutes of really an hour of like, well, we were going to talk about this. We're going to talk about this.
Flexibility in Podcasting Without Guests
00:00:47
Speaker
And someone asked us a while ago if we put a spreadsheet out with our topics. And in many ways, like I, I love that idea. The problem with that is we have a list of some topics, but it's kind of like, depending on where you're at that day. And it's not like we have a guest. So if we had a guest, of course, we're not going to invite someone on and then be like, no, we're going to change the, Oh, you're an expert in this. No, that's okay. We're going to talk about something else. So today after going in circles,
00:01:18
Speaker
Where did we end up?
Work-Life Balance: Overwhelming Dedication
00:01:22
Speaker
Basically... Basically, I'm ready to break something. Please don't let it be the computer. It won't be the computer. It'll probably be a bone of some sort in my hand.
00:01:38
Speaker
We obviously put a lot of, I mean, we put our entire life into our work. And that's not sounding like a fucking hero or anything. It's just what we do. Sometimes to a false. Yeah, but I don't want it to be like woe is us or
Separating Work from Personal Life
00:01:50
Speaker
whatever. It's just like what we do. We had a conversation last night where I forget what it was. I was talking about something or we weren't talking about work. And you were like, can we just please not talk about work? And then hold on now, hold on now. No, no, but I'm just saying to your point, we weren't talking about like,
00:02:05
Speaker
logistics of Between the Ears. We were talking though about, you actually read me an entire chapter of a book. That was for though. What I'm saying is we were talking about something non-work related. We were talking about what else you got, you said to me. No. And then I started our schedule. Listen to me. Your resistance is showing everything. We're basically just going to argue for an hour.
Evaluating the Value of Work in Social Media
00:02:28
Speaker
The point is it's hard for us to deviate from work. And sometimes there is tremendous reward and joy and fulfillment with that.
00:02:42
Speaker
sometimes it's incredibly overwhelming and daunting, especially when we're in the past year, like good and people are hurting, um, across a wide range of modalities really. And then sometimes it's incredibly frustrating, uh, because on the personal side, it can be overwhelming. And then it's, you know, certainly from a business standpoint, uh, yeah, just tough. So, and what I think like,
00:03:11
Speaker
I'm just going to say, because we decided we would just be open and honest on this podcast. This kind of, I don't want to say it's a rant. It's a conversation. But, and it's nobody's fault, but like when you're like putting all that into it and you're looking at this, this situation we're in and the environmentals and all this stuff and you know, there's some like really heavy work surrounding it. It's not
00:03:37
Speaker
And then
Social Media's Double-Edged Sword: Message vs. Noise
00:03:38
Speaker
you just feel like it's just like, where is everybody? Not where is everybody, but like, is it sticking? Is it going anywhere? It's always, we're always questioning is, and I think at least one of the questions I'm always asking is, are we actually providing any value? Yeah. Is our work and, and yeah, frankly, like,
00:04:00
Speaker
It's a double-edged sword with media, social media, podcasts, whatever it might be. Because on the one hand, you're able to put out a message that before you would need to call people and tell them or direct marketing or, you know, how would you get a message out prior to the different mediums? Well, you generally wouldn't and a few people would and that would be advertisers and blah, blah, blah, blah. And now
00:04:28
Speaker
It's like, well, that's how you get it out. But then on the same hand, like there is that everybody gets out. Yeah. So there's that element of wondering, are we actually providing any value? Is it actually getting through? Because what sometimes it feels like is it's just a,
Content Perception: Disposable or Impactful?
00:04:50
Speaker
a consumption and that's it. Like you, like you never, sometimes it feels like plastic cookware or eatware, whatever cutlery, where it's like you use, you put the little plastic spoon and you, you eat it with it at a barbecue and then you fucking throw it out. That's what sometimes this stuff feels like where. Yeah. And that, and that is kind of from, and then from our perspective, it's, and it's not for a, like we want to,
00:05:21
Speaker
It's not from a selfish like grabbing, you know, getting more kind of feeling like why aren't people in some of its engagement, but because we're so passionate about helping people when it feels like that plastic spoon gets thrown away, that doesn't feel like people are being helped. No, that feels like it's just doing more harm. And that's kind of the thing. So and what we were talking about before this was, are we actually
Information Overload: Finding Actionable Insights
00:05:42
Speaker
doing more harm because the thing is is like we're in a state now where the the Volume and the access to information is fucking overwhelming. Yeah, like it is insane how deep down some of these are
00:05:58
Speaker
rabbit holes or just into just exposure like you flip through your feed or you flip to the podcast or whatever and you can have anything from bees to astrophysics to and everyone's saying that their shit is the most important thing ever
00:06:16
Speaker
So it's like, well, holy shit, how do I determine what is important? What matters? What do I actually need to know? What can I act upon? And it's just this overwhelming thing where at first it was like, and that's where, you know, ignorance is bliss where it's like, Hey, if you don't know, you don't know. So for us to feel like the last thing we want to do, and I've said this from the first podcast.
00:06:39
Speaker
where it was just me in the cave. Like I don't want to just add more noise. We never want to do that. And sometimes it feels like we are and it is just given the climate of how people consume information. But I'm also going to say this, that I feel like there is a part where unfortunately right now people want that disposable stuff. They don't, they're not, people are not and I'm not, it's not really judgment.
00:07:09
Speaker
But, you know, we were talking the other day about, this is like from like a diets perspective, you know, people want, like, I do want to know, like, well, what do you eat? Cause I want to like look fitter, be healthier. Like, so what do you do? And then you tell them, they're like, well, no, I don't really want to do that. Like now if you told them that you ate donuts, like, yeah, I could do that. You know, that's the sort of thing. Well, if you told them like, I do what you do. Right. Like whatever you're doing, just keep doing it. It's like, okay, I can do that. And so that's the part where at some point people,
00:07:39
Speaker
I don't know. Like we've said this before, like they need to like wake up or something, but that's the frustration is our people just totally like, where's the, okay, I heard this podcast. This sounds good. I'm going to action this. And that's kind of how you and I do operate and.
00:07:57
Speaker
Like
Health Awareness vs. Implementation
00:07:58
Speaker
if there's something we're going to try to dig deeper, action it, but sometimes some of the stuff we get, it's sort of like, is anybody actually trying to put this into practice? Or because then we see people kind of digging themselves a deeper hole. Like as a society, we've all established like we need to be healthier. There's this mental health crisis.
00:08:19
Speaker
but it seems like we're going backwards. People are doing less, less to get healthier, less to help their mental health. There's more people talking about neuroscience, more people talking about all this stuff, but there's less and less happening. I don't know. It's very confusing. And then that's where you and I got to on this podcast. Like, well, what the hell are we going to say? Well, I mean, and this is the thing too that I can go back and forth with it.
00:08:49
Speaker
Say it. I don't know if I've said this on a previous podcast, but like I remember. So I did the between your seminar, put that together. That was last year.
Seminar Insights: Body-Mind Connection
00:09:01
Speaker
And that was a just for people. That was like a one day.
00:09:04
Speaker
A lot of lectures, there was some movement. There was a seminar. You're going to learn some things. You might know them already, but you're going to revisit them. You're going to experience some things and that's going to be through some movement. Then there's going to be some models that you can then do on your own. Now,
00:09:27
Speaker
Nobody can do that shit for you. So whatever. Anyway, I went and put that stuff together because the body and the mind and the emotions and everything are connected. It's like, yeah, they're all connected. Okay. How? Tell me how they're connected. And it's like, well, I know how they're connected and I'm not a fucking neuroscience scientist. Right. You bill Anthony. Yeah.
00:09:49
Speaker
But like this was before, and maybe not before, I don't mean to sound like this or that, but like, like Huberman now, who's a brilliant, been on Joe Rogan and I beat myself up.
Neuroscience's Role in Body-Mind Understanding
00:10:00
Speaker
And this was before I knew about Andrew Huberman. And I don't even know when he came about and it doesn't really fucking matter. The point is I was like, well, what is the fact that the
00:10:13
Speaker
information goes to the thalamus and then it goes to the high road the low road like does do people really need to know that and it's like well somebody's probably saying like wow yeah that's really fascinating but the point is it's like I beat myself up over having that in there where you know some people like oh I know this already and it's like well then what the fuck are we talking about like if you know all of this stuff already why are you here then why are we here and and that's not necessarily
00:10:38
Speaker
Seminar clients, but that's just in general, like, oh yeah, I know that. I said, okay, well then what's the point? What's the problem? Sure. So we get people that reach out and say they want to make a change. Yeah, fitness, nutrition, their life, but they know everything already.
00:10:53
Speaker
Right. And so I think that the, so then it's like, okay, well, is it a question then not of what are we putting out, but how are we providing solutions?
Challenges in Grasping Complex Health Topics
00:11:02
Speaker
And I think that that's where we have to kind of go into the shift to, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there's definitely a need to educate and be like, okay, Hey, there's all this stuff. Like for example, the microbiome stuff that you're kind of passionate about right now.
00:11:16
Speaker
And it's like, wow, that's kind of crazy. But it's so crazy that it's so overwhelming that it's like, okay, but on Tuesday afternoon, what is that? How do I, how do I like, what do I do with that?
00:11:28
Speaker
But don't you think sometimes people use that as an excuse? Like, okay, so let's just take that example. So the microbiome, like understanding how volatile that is, that it's really like, now they realize like, oh, whoops, like that's really the source of like our whole like health, our immune system, everything. Okay. And these factors influence it. And so sure, like for a lot of people, I think it's an easy way out. And I'm just going to say it to be like, well, that's just too, I can't do that.
00:11:55
Speaker
it's like this leap and so it's an excuse to not even take a single step but it's but it's and that's where i feel like some of the stuff is like so i guess i get pit i get it i get fired up when i hear people say you can do anything you want and it's like okay you're lying to people and then it's like on the other hand like i can't do that it's like you're also fucking lying to yourself so this it's like which one is it there's people like yeah you can do anything you want you can do it and it's like rah rah rah and it's like well
00:12:24
Speaker
Maybe
Overcoming Excuses for Health Accountability
00:12:25
Speaker
that's not the right approach. And then on the other hand, it's like, well, I can't eat more vegetables. I can't not eat. Well, I don't, I don't even have time to cook them. I don't have time to cook that. And it's like, it's like, you're right. You don't, because, because that's obviously like what you're, what you're believing. And so for some of that, I guess it is a question of.
00:12:49
Speaker
Where is all this information going? Yeah. And what are we doing with it? And again, like I love learning and being a student and diving in and being like, holy shit, isn't this amazing? And for some people they like looking into carpentry.
00:13:11
Speaker
They love if there's a different tool or a different whatever a different type of they know how each different tree from each different region and the different grain Looks stains cuts all of that stuff.
Society's Health Neglect: A Dire Comparison
00:13:23
Speaker
So everybody has their own passions and their own pursuits. I just wonder
00:13:29
Speaker
Where's all this information going? And if we're not doing anything with it, which. This isn't a judgment. Ah, fuck it. It is a judgment. It doesn't appear that people are doing a damn thing with what, with what, not just what we're talking about with the information out there. Yeah. And it's like for God damn, like, you know what I mean? Well, and I think it's just like, uh, I don't know. I, you know, like we have people still smoking cigarettes.
00:13:58
Speaker
Well, because it's too hard because they want to smoke stairs because they like smoking. It's very simple. But that's no different than like. We're in a pandemic where your immune system is the thing that may or may not save your life. One of the things. And yet we're not doing anything. We are. We're putting on masks and we're getting the vaccine. But because those two things are easy to do and that's where
00:14:27
Speaker
Yeah, it is fresh. And I will say it. It is frustrating to see people. I guess. And again, like fine. Well, I don't know why we have to continue to excuse ourselves on our own podcast, but to be judgmental, like.
00:14:41
Speaker
Like you're just being selfish in many ways too. Like some people like, so as long as you get yours, you don't have to wake up. You don't have to look around. You don't have, I mean, like I told you about the bees, the bees. Okay. So bees are responsible. If the bees died, we've had 90% of our produce would be gone.
00:15:00
Speaker
That's insane. But it's like that and of course that's like insane but it was like this thing for me where I was like man we are so selfish like as a society yeah like well we're more important than a fucking bee of course yeah like I could just step on that being killer yeah and that's sometimes how I feel that I get this seems like a stretch but when this information is out there
00:15:24
Speaker
And we're saying even with like fitness, like you, I don't, I'm sorry. You can't fucking choose that you're just, no, this is just so my butt looks better. These are just so my abs look better. Like, okay, fine. But.
00:15:40
Speaker
You're killing something. It's that you are switching something off inside of you and we see it. We see people just the mill of like the fitness stuff and it's sometimes just enraging like, okay, like what are we even talking about? Why are we we have people that
00:15:55
Speaker
want to get better and so I don't ever want to like discount those people. But I mean man it's like sometimes it's it's it is so the minority. Well and then the people who are you know go to the gyms and who are like all right right on I'm doing things and you know I'm I'm open to listening and and we'll just say that's a
00:16:20
Speaker
You could fit all those people in a room. You know what I mean? Like it'll be a tight pack, but like we're not talking about thousands of people or thousands of people. Like it's... It's the small percentage. It's a small percentage of our local communities. Like this is that. And it's like, so it's like, okay, we all crammed. Let's just say there's like, let's just say there's 500 people and we're all in a room. We're like, all right, guys, we're in the zombie apocalypse right now.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yeah, that's what it feels like. And then you zoom out and you're like, holy shit, you were surrounded 360 degrees with, like that, there's a pressure to that. The societal pressure has psychological burden on people. That's not me, Bill Anthe's, Kay, between the ears. That's like Sigmund Freud. So that's the pressure of the society. Now,
00:17:17
Speaker
you can trace that down all the way to saying, Hey, by the way, that is going to impact how your back feels. Right. It's like, yeah, that's a bunch of people will say that's bullshit. It's like, okay. Yeah, it is. Sure. Oh, so you operate. So you're the one who operates. So you're, you're not a human then. Cause like the whole, like, Oh, we're all connected. Yeah, we are connected. And first for a lot of people who are
Societal Pressures on Health Choices
00:17:46
Speaker
who are aware of that. They know just how important that connection is. But as a society, people like us, quote unquote, who are like, all right, we're going to look at our health. We're going to do the thing. You know what I mean? It's like then you look around and your neighbor who's just
00:18:01
Speaker
smoking cigarettes, checked out, not doing anything, you know, and there's, you look around, you go to the grocery store and you're like, you're buying, what are you buying? There's not a single piece of food in there. And then it's like, well, what is the point of what I'm doing? I'm over here killing myself. And it's like, so I think that that's where then people reach for that information of like, well, maybe this one thing. And then it's just like this weird, it's this weird,
00:18:31
Speaker
cycle of Well, because if it's not and that's I think where people get stuck and this is sort of like the I do think in their defense It's an overwhelming thing. Okay, so let's take the back because you and I have had back stuff. Mmm and Yes, a back issue is physical and we know we know for a fact. There's like emotional stuff. Okay, so like the back and
00:18:56
Speaker
But it is really hard for people to look at. It's much easier to say, oh, I had a back problem. I went to this chiropractor and I did these exercises and that fixed my back. That is black and white, very binary. The other route is looking at a lot more stuff that's much more complex that starts to ask questions. And we've talked about this on the podcast before too.
00:19:21
Speaker
But the problem is the one route doesn't change who you are. Anything really important about who you are as a human. Okay, fine. Maybe you can continue doing things without pain. I mean, I guess there's like a fix there. Like, yeah, nobody wants to be in pain. But like, you're just putting icing on a turd. You know what I mean? And I feel like that's the thing is people are just picking the stuff that's just like, they don't even want to try to like, okay,
00:19:51
Speaker
Like I can maybe take a step in that direction. Do you know what I'm saying? It's just the, if it's not a quick fix, if it's not a simple thing, it's the same thing with food.
Small Steps to Healthier Eating Habits
00:20:02
Speaker
Okay. Like, do you know how many people and I'm going to say with the nutrition and, and I get it. I understand. Like you are terrible at cooking. I get it. Um, excuse me. You're, I mean, like,
00:20:15
Speaker
You're that person that if I said, just do what I do, you would be like, that's, I'm not there yet. Right.
00:20:23
Speaker
That's true. Okay. So you're like the avatar of like the person that says like, I can't do that in terms of like, I don't say I can't do things. You don't say I can't, but that's a big leap for you. Yeah. If I were to say, Hey, I want to do what you do, it would be like, I'm not doing it. I'm not that person. But the other thing is like you have started to do some small things. Like do the dishes. You do the dishes. You do one meal every now and then.
00:20:50
Speaker
But like my point is that there's a lot of people that reach out in like a desperate like I need I really need to do something about my diet and then the points of like stopping them are I'll be honest like oh wait you're gonna charge me for changing Literally, I'm desperate. I've had people this person is desperate their health is at stake But they don't like the price point
00:21:14
Speaker
Okay. And that baffles me. And because I don't understand, like, so what is, what are you worth and what else are you spending money on that's costing your health? So that's one and that's with a lot of our stuff. And two is just like, basically they're just saying, I don't want to try.
00:21:31
Speaker
That's what it certainly feels like. Yeah. I know that sounds really harsh, but I'm not saying cook a meal that should be on the cover of Bon Appetit magazine in a month or have it look, you know, whatever. But I'm just saying, just try like, Hey, can we start with one fucking vegetable that you've never cooked with before? And could we try it? Right. But like,
00:21:53
Speaker
So what is the point of trying to help people then? Who, who, who's going to take this help? And then on the other side, which we, you know, we're just came up and like what we were going to talk about, someone responded to our, I posted like a funny thing about our exchange the other day to our message, like talking about like, we need to eat more fiber. And you joked about eating a plant in the office and, and they responded and they were like, Oh, it's like good to know you guys are human. And so some of this is like,
00:22:22
Speaker
Yeah, of course we are human and we're not, I don't have it all figured out food. I mean, yeah, we ordered sushi the other night. I just didn't feel like cooking. Like this is not to say that we're perfect. I also 10 years ago only knew how to make chicken and brown rice and store bought teriyaki sauce. But at some point it has to matter to you enough. And that's where the stuff like we can provide all the information. We can say, Hey, this is how we did it. A lot of the stuff you talk about, which, you know, like who
Questioning the Podcast's Impact and Future
00:22:51
Speaker
you are, like,
00:22:53
Speaker
But if you don't even know who you are, then how is this stuff going to matter to you? And then it's just kind of like, well, how is us talking about it going to make a damn bit of difference? We can't make you want to discover that.
00:23:07
Speaker
Yeah, it does. It is an interesting conversation. And, you know, I think I just want to bring us back to what we started with saying with like, and I'll just say like, I'm considering not doing the podcast anymore. Yeah. Right. Because you know what? If you want to fucking get down, then reach out to people that come to between the ears. Right.
00:23:27
Speaker
The door is literally open all the time. Maybe not physically, but you know what I mean? It's not because someone came by the other day. They said we weren't there. So it's not. Well, let us know first before you can. By appointment only. But we're there providing that. But it's there. And so so for that, it's like, OK, so you're talking about all that stuff. Why? Like, why are people
00:23:55
Speaker
hitting the wall with these things with fitness, with fitness, with nutrition, with mindset, with all of that stuff. Cause like, that's just basically what we operate. Cause there's plenty of information. There's plenty of information and it's like, I mean, you could literally go back through.
00:24:11
Speaker
80 episodes of just this podcast, maybe 90, we'll say 70 out of the 80 or whatever we're on to tack 10 off and be like, eh, those are interesting, but not really providing a guy. You can go back through that. And there is a lot of actual load of stuff you can do before you even hire me free, free. It's out there. Just do it. Try it.
00:24:36
Speaker
Why aren't, I mean, and there are some who are and they're like, fuck yeah, right on. And that, and those people are gonna be like, dude, stop, no, no, no, like keep going. But why are we as a society, again, not just obviously the listener, I think people listening at this point understand we're, it's like, it's like if we're all in the same room having a cup of coffee in the conversation, we're having this discussion. Why aren't, why, why are people hitting that wall? And I do think that when it comes to those things of like,
00:25:02
Speaker
Oh, wait, you're gonna I'm asking you to help me with something very very deep very very personal and it is actually your Your profession you have a business you try to provide for your family for it and then you kind of say like yeah Hey, there's like a nominal fee And like well, that's I can't do that and it's like so what do you want me to do then? Do you want me to like, how would you like me to answer that question? right and I think if we look at well, how do people consume information and what are people's expectations and
00:25:32
Speaker
Look around at a red light. All right. Here's a social experiment that will just fucking enrage you. When you get to your next red light and there's cars around.
00:25:41
Speaker
Look at what people are doing. Look at what your own yourself is doing. Most people go and they pick up their phone. What in the blue fuck are you doing? It is 30 seconds. Can you, how about this? Stop clenching your jaw and breathe through your nose when you're at your next red light. You're like, I don't do that. Sure. You don't. So why is it that
00:26:05
Speaker
with the overwhelming amount of information, there's an underwhelming amount of action. And when we look at how people are consuming information, most of it now is via social media. I mean, hence all of the issues with censorship. So social media, digital media. And it's interesting, like you look at people, even for what I was talking about, like I wonder how many people look at
00:26:31
Speaker
Let's just say like look at Instagram accounts of like healthy food and good food and cooking food and like never fucking cook a meal. Like it's there's like a disconnect like you're saying and and I and that the the need and I mean I'm when you say that I think like oh my god like I've I'm bringing my awareness to it I haven't I don't know how much progress I'm making
00:26:52
Speaker
But it is crazy. We both have said like, like, why do we need the phone right next to us picking up the phone, picking up the phone? There's a thing on there. Remember, we just brought up a couple weeks ago. I'm like, wow, it tells you how many times you pick up your phone in a day. And then we're saying like, and then and then I and I know this is kind of getting off topic, but like,
00:27:12
Speaker
for our kids, like we're talking about, we all can say, cause it's easy. Cause it's like not us though. The kids, like the problem with the kids and the phones and the social media. And it's like, well, how are we going to help them? If we, if we can't even, we're all in it too. It's like the Wally world is like Wally. Remember the movie? Now those people were in the future, like really heavy and they couldn't like walk, but were those people just not fat? Do you know what I mean?
00:27:39
Speaker
Not really. Well, I mean some people are but i'm saying you go to disney world and it's like dead It's you see there's more wheels than feet. Yeah, I just mean we're it we're getting closer to that sort of like well We're just we're in this like dead state. There's this dehumanization. Yeah, and that's the thing and that's where it's when you when you try to compartmentalize or trifurcate essentially Systems within people so you've got whatever we'll just say physical mental emotions
00:28:06
Speaker
And you know without going into the limb for the nervous system and the musculoskeletal system and the doctrines We're not going down science. We're just saying Generally speaking things people treat their body how people treat their thoughts and how people treat their emotions This is not Barnes and Noble where there's the nonfiction section over there the comic books over there and blah blah blah like it is it does not work that way, but that is how as a culture and as a society
00:28:35
Speaker
we operate. It's an overemphasis on aesthetics because getting your attention means creating a little bit of a thing of a ooh, and that usually looks like sex.
00:28:52
Speaker
That gets your attention in some way, shape or form to have you purchase something. I'm not anti-capitalism or nor am I approved. But it's like, well, no wonder why we put so much emphasis on how something looks and we can sacrifice other things to achieve that. Well, right. Well, if I look like that and it's like, no, and we work and we do very, very deep work with people. And it's like, I just want to lose my weight. And it's like, you're never going one to be happy.
00:29:22
Speaker
two ever lose enough because it is the external that we are chasing and Anybody that's it's chasing a tail and it's chasing a dragon and it does not work that way So when we look at
00:29:39
Speaker
How can we consume information better? It's like, we'll start acting it, start doing it. Then you learn it. Then you learn it. And, um, I think that's the part where if it, if something does, if something is not felt in your body, it does not exist.
Emotional Connections in Activities
00:30:00
Speaker
And now, sure, maybe there's like, there's certainly holes in that and I get it. You can find the thing. Okay.
00:30:09
Speaker
But, so tell me something like that's really, really important to you. To me? Yeah. Like an emotional thing? Just anything. Just tell me something. Yeah, like the kids, like spending time with the kids. Right. What's important about that? Well, feeling like I'm, I know them, I'm like connecting with them. They know that I think that they're important. Appreciating them, not taking for granted the time I have with them. Okay. You answered that. Do you know how you answered that? Rationally.
00:30:39
Speaker
No. Replay the tape. I rewind this in 30 seconds if you're listening on your car. Okay. You said feeling.
00:30:51
Speaker
you know, the kids rationally, you know them. Like that's a concept. Do you know the kids? Hey, they spent X number of hours with me. Okay, whatever. But what's, what's important to you about them is feeling like, okay. And so that's the thing, like anything important, if it's not important to you, it doesn't feel like anything. Right. Right. So it wasn't like I said, it wasn't like you said five hours with them. Right. Just very like myopic. Yes. Yeah. It was,
00:31:21
Speaker
Because those are the, like the things that exist outside of us and don't manifest themselves in our feeling, in our state, in our somatic experience, which is lowercase S E not the Peter Levine somatic experiencing. If it's not felt within you, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. And that's where there's a,
00:31:49
Speaker
And there's a huge, like that is, well, what's funny about that is it's so simple. Now I'm not saying it's easy, but if like that, so, so take that one thing. If it's not felt within you, like you're basically going to be unsuccessful at it. Kind of is what you're saying. So like fitness. Yeah. Okay. Like, and that's funny enough. Like your goals workshop. Okay. Like.
00:32:12
Speaker
So finding a goal like, well, why is it fucking important to you? So if we look at fitness and it's just the external stuff and the numbers and the moving your body around and there's not actual connection and feeling and what this does to feel like in my body, to be present in my body. Or same thing with food, the macros, just the numbers and the stuff and there's not even a connection to the food or cooking or the love or any of that.
00:32:38
Speaker
And people do it. They go through all these things. These, this next thing, this thing, that thing, all these external things. And the reality is all you need to do, all you need to do. And I'm not saying it's simple. I mean, it is simple. It's just not easy is like connect to like what it feels like. And I know that's, but that's the work we do. And it just feels like people either one feel like it's like, well, that's silly. And it's like, Oh, really? Like all these fucking books. Well, I had a client ask me the one time,
00:33:09
Speaker
Literally asked me now. I don't I didn't know this person beforehand And they were like I was so it was it was heavy it was it was heavy work. Mm-hmm and I'm just a dude And so we're talking and it's some of this stuff is like I told him like yeah, hey go walk around barefoot Mm-hmm without your socks and shoes on
00:33:34
Speaker
And the reason I told him that was about, there was about 50 different things that could go into answering that, but whatever, it doesn't matter. There was a reason for it. There was a reason for that. And it connected to him feeling something. Yeah, and it connected to him feeling something. And it got to, and there were reasons that I knew if I told this client, it would probably be, I'm never talking to you again. Well, just too much. Right? Just too much. And really doesn't matter. No. And he was like,
00:34:01
Speaker
looking at me like all fucking weird is like, are you a vegan or something? And I was like, I don't think I've told this story before on this thing when I'm like, it's like, vegans are kind of hippies and they're kind of hippie dippies. And it's like, I don't actually mean, I mean, that's the stereotype. That's the stereotype. Yeah, we don't say that about vegans. But it was like, no, no, I mean, people are people, right? You know what I mean? And that's what they choose to do. But I guess what I'm saying is,
00:34:27
Speaker
there's, there's that boxing things in and like, okay, vegans tell people to treat nature with respect and love. And it's like, wait, what? And similarly meat eaters. And people who go to the gym literally can never feel like they need to take a rest day. And people who are
00:34:53
Speaker
you know, whatever financially that, you know, so like there's all of these compartments and there's all of these categories and there's all of whatever. I don't know. I'm getting off topic here, but essentially what I think we have to look at is coming back to how are we
00:35:11
Speaker
How are we actioning information and where does it go? And are we involving ourselves? What are we actually doing? Why are we doing it? Yeah, of course. But then like the feeling that we associate or the feeling that we have, can we actually feel and I'll, and, and, and again, like.
00:35:29
Speaker
Well, that's been huge for both of us. I mean, that's been huge for both of us. There's plenty of times we're like, the answer to that? No, I cannot. And you start digging down that thing of, and it's tough. And that's what somebody did ask relative to, you put out a thing about like, what should we talk about? And someone asked about sort of like, feeling complacency. Like, how do you know? Or how do you know when you're being complacent? And again, this isn't like a flippant answer, but it's like,
00:35:57
Speaker
Well, what are you feeling? And honestly, when you would ask me, like, what am I feeling? It really pissed me off for a long time. Cause I'm like, I would answer and you're like, that's not what you're feeling. And I was like, okay, this is like ridiculous. But it, you know, it does take, it's just like, if the first step is just like, try, have some awareness and start trying. That's it. You don't have to like be a Zen master day one, but you do have to action something. Otherwise, yeah, you're just taking more in. And I think it's even,
00:36:26
Speaker
If you're not going to action anything, then stop taking information in because it's almost like making it worse. And, you know, and you draw a lot of diagrams that are like the Venn diagram, you know, for a lot of your models. And I just wish we could in essence, like have people just.
00:36:45
Speaker
just accept that like there's a bigger overlap with let's say the mental, physical and emotional. I mean, I put out a survey. This was like a few months ago with CrossFit, with the CrossFit gym. And it was asking about, I don't even know. Maybe it was pre COVID. I can't remember.
00:37:05
Speaker
Actually it wasn't, it wasn't because I felt like it was so important some of the stuff we were trying to talk about even in Zoom and like in the middle of this pandemic where people were losing their minds and like we knew that this was going to be challenging.
00:37:18
Speaker
And I felt that sort of like, are people like open to this? And so I asked people, would you be interested in learning, integrating this more into your... Integrating what? Integrating breathing. I listed some things. Breathing, you know, the nervous system. And someone wrote back, and I don't know, it was anonymous. But like, no, I do meditation for that. And this is, I come to the gym for physical fitness.
00:37:48
Speaker
And it was sort of like a, I was like really like disappointed by reading that cause I, and I get it. I'm not disappointed in that person and they were being honest and I appreciate their feedback. But like, that's great that you decided that you're going to meditate during that time. And you're only going to come to gym and work your muscles and everything else in your body. You decided to like, boop, boop, boop, boop, like a little like R2D2 robot turned it off. Like, and I'm sure we have, we have very intelligent members at our gym.
00:38:17
Speaker
Like do we, it just made me feel like that's probably what most people think. That's the norm. That person wasn't in the minority. And then I feel like, what am I even doing? How are we ever going to make progress with this? And that's that like hands in the air thing. Now with between the ears, it is great to see people coming in and having these experiences and the people you work with. But then I almost think,
00:38:42
Speaker
It's a lot of those people and the people that you have success with, they, it's not about monetary stuff, but they are invested. They're invested. Just like you're invested right now with a business coach. If that didn't cost you anything, I don't know that you would be doing the work. So then
Information Consumption vs. Action: Monetization Solution?
00:39:00
Speaker
it leads us back to the podcast. Like, is it just more information that people are grabbing onto that they don't.
00:39:05
Speaker
They're not there's no skin in the game for them. Well, I think that's it does feel sometimes and it does feel like well fuck man We're just contributing to the problem. Yeah, if it's just oh, I'm gonna dabble rapid consumption and you know and it's like
00:39:22
Speaker
That I just don't I don't know like I don't know how to deal with it I don't know what the answer is frankly and you know if you're still listening appreciate for you know, just holding on for dear life as we run around but like it is one of the like that is a thing of you know, there's plenty of people who and this is this is great because I have quite a few friends who are pretty high levels within the special operations world and all of these military events and
00:39:52
Speaker
Obviously very popular. You mean like the the civilian military civilian military civilians can sign up for military and some military people do too, but nonetheless There's all of this stuff and there's a stigma and there's this like yeah, it's hard. I'm gonna learn I'm gonna do that and I don't there's a lot there's more people in the within special operations and
00:40:17
Speaker
Like there's, there's more people, way more people that have done way more than me. And I've been honest about that. And I also know I've done way more than a lot of people also. So whatever, like there's no one king of the thing. The overwhelming response to this stuff is, Hey, I guess these people who are running these events,
00:40:47
Speaker
had a different experience than we had. Like, did we not, we missed that thing where, you know, that's, that's what it was about. And I guess I'm being coy and saying like, they're a fucking bullshit. Like it's not, it's the, the messaging and the emphasis and the priority are not actually where the value is. And it's like,
00:41:18
Speaker
Let me back up for a second. People do things. Like why do people do things?
00:41:27
Speaker
Okay. So let's take these events. So we'll take these events and it's like, do we want them? Do you want to make them better? Do you want to become a better human being? Do you want to be somebody that you never were? Do you want to prove to yourself? Do you want to just do something hard to physically and survive it? Do you want to just do something hard physically and survive it? Like, like everybody comes at these with the different, with the different things. The challenge is, is that.
00:41:54
Speaker
I don't know if I necessarily see that happening at this, at the grander scale of, Hey, when it's time to step up. Right. You went and did this thing, but did you apply anything? Did you actually learn? Cause did anything change? And so some of it is, and this is, I think going back to like what you said about selfishness, this is what I kind of got it. Part of being in the military is service, service, selfless service. Yeah.
00:42:21
Speaker
where the fuck is that right now? We've got all of these events happening, but it's just like, no, I want it to be for this compartment. And I'm not going to have responsibility or, or accountability or other things. Yeah. Awareness awareness, all of that, all of that stuff. And it's like, what, what, what I guess I'm trying to say is that again, going back to the,
00:42:50
Speaker
Going back to the, um, here's, here's one, here's another one. There's personalities. I'm not going to name them. They don't have to think people know who I'm going to be talking about where it's like literally the advice is not to be a bitch. Are you kidding me? Like that's, that's, that's what it takes.
00:43:13
Speaker
And a lot of that's that's like, wow. And for some people say, Oh, how dare you? That changed my life. And it's like, okay, sure. Until it doesn't.
00:43:23
Speaker
I was going to say, well, let's give it a little bit. Like that's the thing, I guess, with this where it's an external type of band aid that is still like you talk about. And maybe we you still haven't, you know, a lot of people we talk about the who and the what. And you haven't really gone into that, obviously, on a podcast, because to be honest, it's like there's there's it's. But those are all like, sure, that could be a step, just like some of these things. We're not saying there's anything wrong with
00:43:50
Speaker
Initial step but if you never make it deeper than just that external stuff or like the what then that's the problem I had that's what we're saying about all I've had somebody who has who has subscribed to the don't be a bitch philosophy
00:44:05
Speaker
And we, we, you know, we got to talk and we got to doing some work and you know what the problem really is at the root of that? You know, you're like, okay, I'm confronting something. Don't be a bitch. Don't be a bitch. And it's like, I hear that one. I'm not even going to get into like the, the, the fucking sexist part of it or, you know, whatever that I'm not, that's not where I'm going with it. It's kind of like, don't be weak. And it's like, well, we'll just say, don't be a bitch. You are though.
00:44:30
Speaker
Like that's the thing, like you are, you are a little bitch and you need to be sometimes. And all of these tough guys out there and within the veteran space, within the special operations space especially, it's like, yeah, yeah, be hard, don't be a bitch.
00:44:50
Speaker
you know, just, just, just blast through it, do this, do this. It's like, you're lying to yourself. Sure. And everybody in there, like, and that's where when the Green Beret foundation, when I did that interview with the Green Beret foundation, it's like,
00:45:06
Speaker
Tell that to a fucking Goldstar member. A Goldstar member is somebody who lost their husband, wife, father, whatever, family member. But don't be a bitch. And it's like, and so now you're telling people to not do something. And when you operate from the, from the perspective of don't do something, you don't own it.
00:45:29
Speaker
Like you don't, you're avoiding and you want to go deep with it. You're avoiding the very thing that you need to accept you are so that you can get it out. But when you constantly avoid something, you're being that you're letting that thing dictate you. And so it can go deeper and deeper, but I would say that.
00:45:49
Speaker
Well, not, and you could apply that to all the things we're talking about. That is the concept. Right. But it's like, boom, that's a quick thing, rapid consumption. And, you know, nobody's going to say like, Hey, cry. I'm going to tell you that I'm going to say cry, like actually fucking cry. But I'm not a, you know, I'm not like, whatever. You know what I mean? Like, and it's this.
00:46:13
Speaker
Well, yeah, until... It's a dehumanization that I think drives me fucking nuts because I have gone through that. I've seen the pain of that. I've fucking had my own life at risk because of it, and it is not a place you want to be. So when I see people
00:46:36
Speaker
getting hooked by the immediate, get your attention. Ooh, I've stirred something up in you without any regard for the future thing. Yeah. It's it drives me absolutely nuts. And frankly, yeah. You know what it makes me want to do? It makes me want to apps. It makes me just want to go dark and say, Hey, when you're ready, when you do have that,
00:46:57
Speaker
Complete breakdown, right? Let me know and then we can actually Of course not but what that's I think that's that's kind of like to go back to what we're saying is that's the frustration This isn't really just I mean, of course, it's us. I guess you could look at it as complaining but the the real thing is like we are so passionate about this because we want to help people and
00:47:17
Speaker
And it just feels so overwhelming sometimes like, Oh my God, like you're just fighting an impossible battle. Because when that's the stuff that gets people's attention and then that gets them hooked and then that ends them up in a problem. And then they look for something else that's going to be a substitute hook. And it's just like this vicious cycle. And now, you know, we sat here because we're actually at our house because it was supposed to be a terrible snow day, which.
00:47:42
Speaker
I
Pandemic Reflections: Growth vs. Regression
00:47:43
Speaker
want that job next life. But it was just making me think of a year ago, almost a year ago. We sat here when the pandemic had started and locked down and talked about people's state and mental health and all this stuff and like an opportunity. And I guess there's like a disappointment and a sadness that like, and I don't know, maybe I'm not really that surprised.
00:48:08
Speaker
But like, I don't feel like we're sitting here a year later saying like, wow, it was, it has been amazing to see that people have looked inward. They have done more work on who they are. They just have gone into more of a dehumanized state. Yeah. And while I don't want to, you know, it's tough with the fitness stuff because it's wonderful that people are going to the gym, whatever they're doing, they're physically active. That is for sure a positive versus not.
00:48:39
Speaker
Yeah, but I think that like is it though? Right and then there's the thing where it's like just the checking boxes and checking boxes and this accolade for something that's just sometimes missing the mark. But that's the thing. It's like well I'm going to the gym. At least I'm going to the gym. It's like no actually because you didn't actually fix anything. Right. People going to the gym. Well it's a disguise.
00:48:59
Speaker
It's a fucking escape. So that's where kind of, and that's where being able to not, and we see this with the kids where you take the phone away or take the activities away. You see this with human beings. Hey, what you do to what you do, the external that you have invested in to tell you something that it cannot tell you about yourself, but that it does. So it's like, if we were to have a, here's, here's a perfect example. I take a can of Coke.
00:49:28
Speaker
Can of Coca-Cola. Okay. Red with white lettering. Take that out. I crack it and I pour it out. And what I'm pouring out is water, clear water. You'd be like, what in the blue fuck are you doing? Like, how is that happening? Right. That's supposed to be Coke. Yeah. Right. So that's how a lot of the activities are happening. It's like, no, but what's in there is water. It's like, no, no, no, that's Coke, man. The label, the can says so.
00:49:56
Speaker
It's like, no, it's water. It's not dark. It's not sugar. It's not poison. It's not bubbly. It is water. And it's like, no, no, no. But it's in a Coke bottle. Okay. But how's that tying to the fitness and stuff?
00:50:07
Speaker
Because when what we do, it's this like, no, I'm doing this, I'm doing this. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's just the shell. Like the essence of that action. So when it's like, well, at least I'm going to the gym. It's like, yeah, but I get it, you're going to the gym. But if I heard her say, hey, can you just literally be with yourself and not do anything? The only active thing you have to do is be inactive.
Superficial Solutions in Health: The Botox Analogy
00:50:34
Speaker
they can't people can't. And then again, that gets into some deep stuff, but, and not to, this is a whole other topic, but a great example of that. Like look at, I mean, it's, it came up recently with us as like, it's almost like, it's like the Botox thing. So people are like this, this, I mean, and I don't want to sound judgmental, but,
00:51:00
Speaker
that, and I've, we've talked about it, like, Oh, like, okay, I'm getting wrinkled here or there. Like, I don't know. Like, is Botox that bad? And it's just this total external validation for something that's actually like harming you. Like, what's the bad thing about it? Well, okay. And there's a whole thing and you can get into it on another thing, but like, Oh, I'll get into it right now. Freezing your emotions. Cause you can't actually make the emotional
00:51:26
Speaker
Yeah. It freezes the muscles that send the signals to your brain to tell you what's basically happening. Yeah. So it's like, but, but look at me, look at how I look. And that's sometimes how I feel with some of the fitness stuff. Like, cause I've been there like, well, look at me. Like I can look at pictures of myself when aesthetically, like I should have by all means been happy with myself and I wasn't. So like, what the fuck are you doing? Cause you're like, you said like that weight loss or whatever, it's never,
00:51:54
Speaker
like we that wake up like wanting to shape people sometimes and be like is it working like that's the question like is any of this working but this is where it feels like the matrix yeah i know and this is where it feels like the matrix so then it's like well who's that's the one thing and that's where i think you know we're just at and of course we're not going to stop doing the work we're doing and
00:52:14
Speaker
And that's also why we don't have 20 clients a day. There's no way that could happen. And so it's like we're not able to even take that on. And I don't want to discount the people that are doing the work. And that fills us up. But sometimes it does feel a little bit
00:52:37
Speaker
Yeah, I'll speak for myself like a little bit hopeless. Like is anything going to change? Are we getting anywhere? And there's things in our life that just are present every day that kind of, I feel sometimes like it's like the, I'm not good versus evil, but it's the blue pill red pill or like, like we're in the minority. I feel like we're like, I'm losing my mind sometimes. Like.
00:52:59
Speaker
This just doesn't make sense. What's going on with people? And, you know, so I don't know. But I guess some of it with this podcast is like, we don't even know if it's actually valuable. We've had a couple of people say, but I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, the more we're talking about this, the more I'm thinking like,
00:53:21
Speaker
I don't know. I might shut it down. And that's not a threat. And then I don't, I'm not, I don't know how, did you ever do this? Like when you were younger, like if you liked somebody, you told them you were moving. Did you ever do that? Um, I never knew it either. I'm just saying. But, but it was like, you know, if you make empty this boy, who cries a little fights. Okay. It didn't work out. I had to move just to prove the point.
00:53:46
Speaker
Well, it's like when you just say you're going to run away. Well, yeah, it's just kind of like that thing. So that's not what it is. No, this isn't a baiting. It's not a baiting thing. And look, I don't, I've gone back and forth and being like, Hey, maybe we should monetize it. Maybe we should do this. I don't know what the fuck. I don't know what we're doing. We don't know what we're doing with this thing. But one thing is to being honest. And that's like kind of one thing is to be transparent, to be honest. And we're not superhuman. We're not, we're just like being very vulnerable and
00:54:13
Speaker
Yeah. And so I think that for us too, it's like, okay, well, where are we? Where, what do we get to? Um, I think that, well, I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but if the part, like the parting thing is like, don't rely on something else.
00:54:30
Speaker
to be your voice. Like find the fucking courage within yourself to express yourself and, or the courage to go within. And I, and this is, it's not lost on me that that can be dark and hard and challenging.
00:54:45
Speaker
sure but don't rely on the external to tell you or others something that you are unable or that you do not believe about yourself yeah and I think that's like where it gets into
00:55:02
Speaker
like even this podcast like if you've listened to every single episode and you really really like it I love that but are you doing it like don't don't just say don't hide behind and this isn't an attack against anybody but
00:55:19
Speaker
Like take some time away from listening to this and go and be you and live and live and apply it and learn all of that and if it's just like well I go to between the ears and I do and I listen to the podcast to do my you know mental emotional stuff and I think like that's awesome, but So I had to I'll finish on this I had a conversation with a new client last night and
00:55:46
Speaker
And the notion of dependency came up. And I told him, like, my approach to coaching is, and I learned this from Anthony Falco, like the proper term for it, who's a physical therapist, good dude, awesome guy. I was like, you know, it's gradient exposure. I think that's what it is. Anthony will correct me if I'm wrong.
00:56:10
Speaker
Anthony we know is listening. Yeah. And so basically it's like, you know, gradual gradual thing. So I'm like, listen, you remember you're at the pool, right? And that the shallow under stairs leading into the shallow end. And then you go into the deep end. You have to fucking get wet. I can't help you if you're on the pool deck.
00:56:29
Speaker
I also don't think that you need to just cannonball into the deep end depending upon where you're at We're gonna start in the shallow one, but you do have to Get your feet wet at first Listening to the podcast this podcast any podcast reading books any of that stuff You're still kind of on the stairs leading into the pool yet. You're not actually in the pool yet. I
00:56:54
Speaker
Sure. You're wet. That's good. But like you have to. Right. You're at the pool. You've established I'm at the pool. I want to swim. Right. But it is that sort of trap of like, I'm reading all about the pool and looking at the pool. I'm at the pool. I got the towel. I got all the things, but you're still not swimming in the pool. And that's where it's like. And that's where the dependency thing is where like.
00:57:19
Speaker
this is not sometimes because it was a cool conversation because it was like, look, I, me, I will not be a crutch or a wheelchair for someone. However, I recognize that
00:57:33
Speaker
in certain situations a crutch or a wheelchair has utility meaning if you're unable to stand on your own two feet and I can be a wheelchair and I think it's within my scope and all of that right on just like if you have a broken leg and you can't actually walk sure yeah you need a crutch at that point yeah
00:57:53
Speaker
But there's that critical point of you need to get the fuck out of the wheelchair and start walking if you can or you need to go strengthen that. Look, the bone is healed. You need to ditch the crutches and yeah, you're going to go slow a little bit. So not being dependent.
00:58:08
Speaker
Like, is that, is that line between at sometimes, yeah, you need, you need your hand held and at sometimes you need to get thrown on the ground to say, okay, now let me see what you've learned and get back up. And I guess that's sometimes what it feels like to with this thing where. Don't want to be a crutch. Don't want to be a crutch and go off and kind of do it and, and learn and apply it. And in doing so, hopefully influence others around you because like it or not.
00:58:39
Speaker
It's not just about you. So I don't know. So we'll see if this is the last episode. It was good. Really? I mean, it was good for me. It was good for you. I feel like we're, what are we talking about? All right. We're going to go off there and talk about your issues as a child, telling people you're moving.
00:59:07
Speaker
That's, that is, let's just be clear about one thing. That is the least bit. All right. We'll see you.