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Drug Addiction and Sports with Max Hall
4 Plays3 years ago
In this episode we play the speech given at our 2022 E4A Banquet by former BYU great and NFL QB Max Hall. Max shares the details of his heartbreaking fall from NFL QB to the back of a police car. He gives specific warnings to athletes, parents and coaches that will help them stay away from this dangerous and ever more present issue. Please listen to this with someone you love, or share it with an addict that is fighting for their life. It will inspire anyone who listens to it.
Check our Max's podcast on addiction, "Agents of Recovery".
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-agents-of-recovery-podcast/id1550462911
Especially for Athletes:
Website: https://especialyforathletes.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EspeciallyForAthletes/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/E4Afamily
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/especiallyforathletes/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmbWc7diAvstLMfjBL-bMMQ
Credits:
Hosted by Shad Martin & Dustin Smith
Produced by Shad Martin and IMAGINATE STUDIO
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Support the show: https://especiallyforathletes.com/podcast/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Introduction & Podcast Purpose
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to the SportLight Podcast.
00:00:02
Speaker
On this week's SportLight Podcast, we're gonna talk about drug addiction and sports.
00:00:07
Speaker
This last week on Saturday, we had a banquet where Max Hall, former BYU quarterback and NFL quarterback gave a speech.
00:00:17
Speaker
We would love you to hear that speech, to listen to that speech with your children and those that you love, and to talk about this really, really critical topic of drug addiction.
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to the Sportlight Podcast for parents, coaches, and athletes.
00:00:33
Speaker
The Sportlight refers to the time in an athlete's life when they have increased ability to affect the culture around them and the increased opportunity to learn life's lessons through sports.
00:00:42
Speaker
This podcast aims to help parents and coaches capitalize on their athletes' precious time in the Sportlight.
00:00:48
Speaker
The Sportlight Podcast is brought to you by Especially for Athletes program.
Max Hall's Journey & Struggles
00:00:55
Speaker
Well, we're coming off an incredible week.
00:00:57
Speaker
We had two summits this week where we got to gather hundreds of athletes from around the state and from neighboring states.
00:01:05
Speaker
And they were able to listen to Jaron Hall, BYU quarterback, Allie Bills, former collegiate basketball player and coach, and Eli Ballstead, who is a current member of the Utah Ute basketball team.
00:01:18
Speaker
and other collegiate athletes.
00:01:19
Speaker
They got together with a bunch of high school athletes from all around the state, and we did some get-to-know-you activities.
00:01:25
Speaker
They got to meet each other, and it was one of the most joyful events that we've been part of.
00:01:31
Speaker
It was just awesome.
00:01:32
Speaker
And then on Saturday, we got together with all of our donors and school administrators and coaches and those who really helped to support this program, and we had a nice banquet.
00:01:43
Speaker
And at that banquet, Max Hall...
00:01:46
Speaker
He took some time and he gave a speech.
00:01:49
Speaker
He told his story in great detail about how he went from being a BYU quarterback, someone who had never imagined himself as a drug addict, to ending up in the back of a police car.
00:02:03
Speaker
And the advice and counsel that he shares and what he learned from his story and what he and his wife learned from that is just so incredible.
00:02:13
Speaker
If there's one episode that we would have you sit down and listen to,
00:02:19
Speaker
with your children, it would be this one.
00:02:21
Speaker
Because someone who falls into drug addiction, it is so hard for them to come out of it.
00:02:26
Speaker
And some of our kids in a side conversation after he gave the speech, Max talked about how
00:02:34
Speaker
how kids these days, they're falling into these addictions and not realizing what they're doing.
00:02:38
Speaker
He talks about the dangers of fentanyl and how there's kids that are just dying across the country because these drugs are being made by people who don't really care about others' lives.
00:02:50
Speaker
And if one little bit of that very dangerous drug and other drugs get into the drugs they're taking, it's killing too many kids.
00:02:58
Speaker
And so this would be an episode that we would challenge you to sit down
00:03:03
Speaker
Listen to it with your kids and then have a discussion with them.
00:03:08
Speaker
Coaches, listen to this with your players and talk to them about the dangers of drug abuse and the dangers of alcohol abuse and any addiction.
00:03:17
Speaker
It's costing too many lives.
00:03:19
Speaker
So with that, here's Max Hall at our banquet last Saturday.
00:03:22
Speaker
So as I mentioned before,
00:03:27
Speaker
Max and his biceps are gonna come up here in a second and talk to everybody.
00:03:35
Speaker
I got to know Max, actually first time Max and I met was on a golf course when he was playing at BYU.
00:03:42
Speaker
And we went out and golfed and then he helped me at a little football camp years ago.
00:03:47
Speaker
Did you know that?
00:03:48
Speaker
When you were at BYU?
00:03:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:51
Speaker
Over at Velocity's horse performance there at Point of Mountain.
00:03:53
Speaker
So he was just in his young 20s.
00:03:56
Speaker
And then it was several years ago he came out and helped us at a football camp.
00:04:02
Speaker
And he was there with Ty Detmer and Mark Brunel and the rest of our crew.
00:04:07
Speaker
And I had gotten to know him a little bit from Brandon Doman, who was his coach at BYU.
Reflections on Max's Public Image
00:04:13
Speaker
And Brandon just loved Max and had all these cool stories about Max.
00:04:18
Speaker
And so as I got to know Max a little bit, I –
00:04:28
Speaker
He had had sort of the opposite or the negative effects of the sport line.
00:04:35
Speaker
And I've used his example actually before.
00:04:38
Speaker
Max knows this.
00:04:39
Speaker
If you Google Max Hall on the internet, there's a mugshot of Max that pops up.
00:04:45
Speaker
Yeah, everybody skip page one.
00:04:48
Speaker
Yeah, go to the second page.
00:04:50
Speaker
And there's a bunch of great stuff.
00:04:53
Speaker
As I mentioned earlier, Max, when he spoke and told his story to all these athletes,
00:04:58
Speaker
Max and I, I think we bonded from that experience because I don't know, very few times in my life have I had a guy's back like I had Max's during that time.
00:05:08
Speaker
I had a dad write me a letter shortly before the camp, and he said, I can't believe you're going to have a drug addict come and speak to those teenagers.
00:05:20
Speaker
My son, I want my money back.
00:05:22
Speaker
I'm not bringing my son to your camp.
00:05:31
Speaker
but I said that's the whole reason we have we're having Max come and talk is because he's been through something that I hope you don't think your son is immune to that every one of us knows somebody who has struggled with addiction and he couldn't see past that and I said what a shame that this dad really thinks that our program was just about how to throw a spiral and the kids who came to that event it was a Friday night our camp was on Saturday we did this event indoors and
00:06:02
Speaker
And Max was pretty emotional in it, and many where the kids were, and we had some parents that stuck around to hear him speak.
00:06:08
Speaker
And before we even started the camp on Saturday, I had emails from parents saying, my son could miss the Saturday camp, which was a six-hour camp.
00:06:18
Speaker
We've got every penny of what we came to this camp for, from just listening to that story.
00:06:25
Speaker
And it reminded me that why in the world do we spend so much time and money
00:06:32
Speaker
lack of sleep and all the things we go through worrying about our kids ability to hit a ball or put it in a hoop or to run fast when we have them at this impressionable age where we can use sports as a way to teach them how to be better wives and husbands and business owners and leaders someday and why do we
00:06:53
Speaker
Spend 99% of the time teaching them how to dribble and 1% of the time making sure that they know how to look somebody in the eyes.
00:07:01
Speaker
Say yes ma'am or yes sir or sit in front of class or be kind to somebody that's different than them or doesn't look like them.
00:07:07
Speaker
And Max went through hell because of what he, you know, some decisions he made.
00:07:14
Speaker
But I'm so proud of him and what he's doing.
Support, Recovery, and Current Projects
00:07:23
Speaker
I know it's not easy to talk about it, but he's taken a moment in his life and the negative effects of the sport life and now is using it in a way to impact thousands and thousands of people.
00:07:33
Speaker
So I'm with you all the way, brother.
00:07:35
Speaker
I know you're continuing to fight it, and I'm proud of you, and I appreciate you coming up and sharing it with all of us, okay?
00:07:42
Speaker
All right, Max Hall.
00:07:55
Speaker
Yo, first of all, I'm glad it turned into a cheat day, cheat meal for everybody, eating all that cheesecake, so enjoy it.
00:08:04
Speaker
But thank you, Dustin, for that introduction.
00:08:07
Speaker
I'm super excited to be here.
00:08:09
Speaker
The first thing I have to do, though, you know,
00:08:12
Speaker
I came on a weekend and we decided to do this about a month ago and then as it got closer I go, oh no, Friday is my wife's birthday, Sunday is Mother's Day.
00:08:22
Speaker
So I went to Kenzie and I said, are you sure you want to go?
00:08:25
Speaker
I can go on my own.
00:08:25
Speaker
She goes, no, I'm in.
00:08:26
Speaker
Let's go.
00:08:27
Speaker
So I want to thank you, babe, for being
00:08:36
Speaker
I mean, that was what, five, six years ago when I first shared my story at QB Elite.
00:08:41
Speaker
And when Dustin asked me to do that, especially right before I got up,
00:08:53
Speaker
have really the self-confidence.
00:08:56
Speaker
I was dealing with anxiety stuff and that was the first time really in public that I did that.
00:09:03
Speaker
So I'm just so thankful I had the impact on those kids.
00:09:07
Speaker
But my story is unique and I have to own it and I went through a lot and there are also a lot of lessons that I learned, just life lessons that have made me into who I am today.
00:09:20
Speaker
And so, again, thank you, Dustin.
00:09:23
Speaker
I'm excited to be here.
00:09:24
Speaker
So real quick, what I'm doing now, I'm down in AZ.
00:09:26
Speaker
Dustin said I'm coaching at American Leadership Academy.
00:09:29
Speaker
They brought this guy in named Ty Depper to be the head coach.
00:09:33
Speaker
So we're coaching together and just having a blast down there in Arizona.
00:09:37
Speaker
So I also started a podcast called Agents of Recovery.
00:09:42
Speaker
If you have a chance, go check it out.
00:09:44
Speaker
We talk about a bunch of different topics with addiction and depression, anxiety, mental health, leadership, finding your why.
00:09:52
Speaker
I mean, I can go on and on.
00:09:53
Speaker
It's a great podcast.
00:09:54
Speaker
Hope you guys have a chance.
00:09:56
Speaker
I'm about to open my own substance abuse counseling rehab facility as well down there in Arizona.
00:10:03
Speaker
We're really trying to get back and to save lives and do everything we can, going through myself, almost losing my life myself.
00:10:10
Speaker
I want to be able to be a light in that area, so we're doing that.
00:10:14
Speaker
I'm getting to speak more and stuff like this.
00:10:16
Speaker
It's crazy.
00:10:16
Speaker
I was at Delta High School a little bit ago.
00:10:19
Speaker
First time I'd ever been to Delta, right?
00:10:22
Speaker
I've been able to speak for some companies and get
00:10:28
Speaker
the positive that's coming out of the negative part of my life and getting to share that and so I'm gonna do my best to go through that tonight and not be too emotional about it I can't get through it but I'll do my best so it's really cool that you guys are all here and why are you here you're here because you support you endorse you believe in a cause that is going to help the youth in our society today
00:10:58
Speaker
I'm not going to thank Dustin because he told me not to.
00:11:00
Speaker
So I'm going to thank all you guys for everything that you're doing to help this great idea that Dustin had.
00:11:08
Speaker
And this is a movement.
00:11:10
Speaker
This is a call to action.
00:11:12
Speaker
This isn't just something that we talk about.
00:11:14
Speaker
We are actually going into high schools and talking to groups and calling them into action about what we can do to have high character and to make good choices and to serve the people around us.
00:11:26
Speaker
Because at the end of the day, is there anything more important than that?
00:11:30
Speaker
And the answer is no.
00:11:31
Speaker
How we treat other people, how we live our lives is the most important thing.
00:11:35
Speaker
Like Dustin just said, who cares if I can't throw a spiral anyway, so why care about that?
00:11:42
Speaker
let's figure out who I am and what kind of character I have.
00:11:44
Speaker
Our youth are facing so many challenges today.
Challenges Facing Today's Youth
00:11:53
Speaker
You think about everything that they're having to deal with.
00:11:55
Speaker
You think about drugs, alcohol, pornography, social media.
00:12:00
Speaker
I can't tell you the number of kids that come up to me, oh, coach, did you see that guy got a scholarship offer and I'm better than him and all that.
00:12:08
Speaker
They compare themselves to everybody else.
00:12:11
Speaker
And I just say, man, get off Twitter.
00:12:13
Speaker
Get off of it.
00:12:14
Speaker
It's not doing anything for it.
00:12:16
Speaker
Concentrate on you.
00:12:17
Speaker
Concentrate on what you're doing.
00:12:19
Speaker
Don't worry about that other stuff, because the more you worry about it, the more depressed you get, the more your self-confidence goes down.
00:12:26
Speaker
And so that's a struggle for all these kids, which leads to the depression and the anxiety and the mental health issues that a lot of these kids are facing today.
00:12:39
Speaker
With that, I'll kind of go ahead with my story here and share how that sport light was a positive thing for me and a negative thing and what I did to overcome that.
00:12:49
Speaker
So, I mean, I grew up in a great family in the LDS church, was a good kid, was taught great principles and did everything I could to be the best that I can.
00:13:02
Speaker
My senior year, towards the end of my senior year, is the first time that I was ever introduced to drugs.
00:13:08
Speaker
And I remember one of my best friends, I'm down in his basement, we're sitting there hanging out, and I noticed some of my buddies going in and out of a room kind of in the back.
00:13:16
Speaker
So I said, what the heck are they doing back there?
00:13:19
Speaker
I'm going to go check this out.
00:13:20
Speaker
So I walked into the room, and they got all weird.
00:13:23
Speaker
Shut the door, shut the door.
00:13:25
Speaker
I'm like, what are you guys doing?
00:13:37
Speaker
You guys are crazy.
00:13:39
Speaker
What the heck are you doing?
00:13:41
Speaker
No, man, just try it.
00:13:42
Speaker
Just try it.
00:13:43
Speaker
It's cool.
00:13:44
Speaker
It's cool.
00:13:44
Speaker
Make you feel great.
00:13:45
Speaker
We're just going to cruise and have a good night.
00:13:47
Speaker
Like, no, I'm not doing that.
00:13:50
Speaker
Come on.
00:13:50
Speaker
Finally, I fell.
00:13:52
Speaker
Finally, I said, all right, give that a here.
00:13:55
Speaker
I'll try it.
00:13:57
Speaker
And I did it.
00:13:58
Speaker
And there's three types of people in this world that come
00:14:05
Speaker
guys like me, that was the best feeling in the world.
00:14:11
Speaker
I felt like I could take a deep breath and all the stress and everything that I was going through as a high school kid just went away.
00:14:17
Speaker
I didn't get addicted to it at the time, but it's important to understand the first time that I was introduced to it was in high school and what that did to me later.
00:14:26
Speaker
That's really important to understand.
00:14:30
Speaker
So after high school, I went to ASU, went on a mission, came back, decided to transfer to BYU.
00:14:35
Speaker
Had nothing to do with football.
00:14:37
Speaker
Had to do with everything of getting out of the bad environment at ASU.
00:14:40
Speaker
They were the number three party school in the nation at the time.
00:14:43
Speaker
And I remember having a conversation with my dad like, if you go back there,
00:14:48
Speaker
What path is that going to lead you in your life?
00:14:50
Speaker
So I said, you know what, I'm going to go to BYU.
00:14:53
Speaker
One of the best decisions of my life, to go to BYU and be surrounded by the people that I was around.
00:14:59
Speaker
I am in a great sport light.
00:15:02
Speaker
And I thought I did a pretty good job of not only playing quarterback, but giving back and being in the community, representing not only a university, but representing a faith.
00:15:12
Speaker
Like that was a big responsibility.
00:15:15
Speaker
Lucky for me, I had, in my opinion, the best quarterback coach that you can have.
00:15:21
Speaker
And that's Brandon Doner.
00:15:22
Speaker
Brandon Doman is a part of this and supports E4A and I was lucky to have him.
00:15:28
Speaker
He gave me all the self-confidence in the world.
00:15:30
Speaker
He was always telling me that we were talking about it earlier.
00:15:33
Speaker
He was just saying, Max, you can be as great as you want to be.
00:15:36
Speaker
You can be as good as you want to be and you got it.
00:15:40
Speaker
He pumped me up on the field and it was just amazing the relationship that I had with Coach Doman.
00:15:49
Speaker
He also taught me how to be competitive and to be tough.
00:15:52
Speaker
And I felt like as a football player I was pretty tough.
00:15:55
Speaker
I'm going to kind of puff up my chest here a little bit.
00:15:58
Speaker
I was a tough football player, even as a quarterback.
00:16:01
Speaker
I would hang in there.
00:16:02
Speaker
I would take hits.
00:16:03
Speaker
I would deliver the ball.
00:16:04
Speaker
And then I'd talk trash to the defensive lineman that hit me.
00:16:07
Speaker
That's just how I played.
00:16:09
Speaker
I loved the game of football.
00:16:10
Speaker
I had a passion for it.
00:16:11
Speaker
There's not a better sport in the world, in my opinion, and I embraced that.
00:16:16
Speaker
I remember this one time.
00:16:17
Speaker
It was the bowl game my senior year.
00:16:21
Speaker
I tried to step up in the pocket and do that, hold up to the ball, throw it, and I took a shot.
00:16:26
Speaker
Toward my MCL, bad bruised ribs, and so I'm on the ground and I got blood coming out of my mouth.
00:16:34
Speaker
I'm like, oh, and I get up and I look over to the sideline and Coach Doman looks at me and he's like, are you okay?
00:16:42
Speaker
For whatever reason, that ticked me off.
00:16:44
Speaker
It ticked me off that he asked me that question, and the G-rated version of it is, I said,
00:16:54
Speaker
He's like, okay, whatever.
00:16:57
Speaker
Next play, I threw a touchdown pass.
00:16:59
Speaker
That's kind of how things went for me, man.
00:17:01
Speaker
I had success.
00:17:03
Speaker
I was doing well.
00:17:04
Speaker
I was living right.
00:17:05
Speaker
Things happened to me in my career that I realized I was so blessed to be there.
00:17:12
Speaker
The experience that I had at BYU will be some of the best years of my life, and I will always remember that.
00:17:20
Speaker
I got an opportunity to go play in the NFL.
00:17:23
Speaker
went to went back home to the Arizona Cardinals and got to start games as a rookie.
00:17:28
Speaker
I eventually suffered two really bad concussions knocked out cold on the field.
00:17:34
Speaker
And I just wasn't right.
00:17:35
Speaker
And I'm sure some of some of everybody a lot of people in here played football, you know, what a concussion feels like, and the depression and the fogginess and everything that goes along with that.
00:17:47
Speaker
So I kind of got really depressed at the
00:17:52
Speaker
weird.
The Depth of Addiction and Consequences
00:17:53
Speaker
I didn't really know how to handle it.
00:17:54
Speaker
I'm forgetting plays.
00:17:55
Speaker
I remember they kept playing, you know, forgetting plays at the line of scrimmage.
00:17:59
Speaker
And I just felt like I was going downhill.
00:18:03
Speaker
I think it was about week seven.
00:18:07
Speaker
I was in the game, took a sack fumble, and I reached out for the ball to get it.
00:18:12
Speaker
Someone dove right at my shoulder and it dislocated my shoulder.
00:18:15
Speaker
So I'm sitting there with my shoulder hanging out of my socket, looking at the sideline like, hey, this thing's out.
00:18:21
Speaker
Come on.
00:18:22
Speaker
Send the trainer out to me.
00:18:24
Speaker
He yanked my arm down into place.
00:18:27
Speaker
my shoulder back and they took me back to the locker room and when I got to the locker room I sat down I started bawling.
00:18:33
Speaker
I started crying my eyes out because in my mind football was over.
00:18:40
Speaker
I thought I was done and I know Dustin kind of touched on this a little bit and I'm going to tweak it a little bit okay Dustin.
00:18:49
Speaker
People say, hey, football's got to be something you do.
00:18:52
Speaker
It can't be who you are.
00:18:53
Speaker
But the reality of it is when you're so passionate about something and you work hard at something, it becomes part of who you are.
00:19:01
Speaker
And football was a big part of who I was.
00:19:03
Speaker
The problem is I let it be the only thing that identified me.
00:19:09
Speaker
Being a quarterback, being a football player, being in the spotlight,
00:19:14
Speaker
You know, playing on Fox, big lights in the NFL.
00:19:19
Speaker
Man, that's who I was.
00:19:20
Speaker
I embraced that.
00:19:22
Speaker
So now I'm thinking that it's over, and I don't know how to deal with it.
00:19:26
Speaker
I don't know what to do.
00:19:29
Speaker
I don't know who I am.
00:19:32
Speaker
I'm in pain, concussion, emotional down.
00:19:36
Speaker
So I go to a doctor.
00:19:38
Speaker
He gives me a 30-day supply of Percocet.
00:19:42
Speaker
And I took the whole thing in about three days because it numbed it out.
00:19:49
Speaker
It took it away.
00:19:50
Speaker
I wasn't worried about anything anymore.
00:19:53
Speaker
The physical pain, the emotional pain, everything that I was going through was gone.
00:19:57
Speaker
Well, after three days, I'm like, well, dang it, I got to find more of this stuff.
00:20:02
Speaker
So guess who I called?
00:20:03
Speaker
My buddy from high school.
00:20:05
Speaker
I said, hey, man, you still doing those pills?
00:20:08
Speaker
He goes, yeah, I got you, bro.
00:20:11
Speaker
That buddy has been in and out of prison and it has totally ruined his life.
00:20:16
Speaker
But I got more pills and off I went in my addiction.
00:20:21
Speaker
It got worse and worse.
00:20:22
Speaker
It became a daily habit.
00:20:24
Speaker
It got to the point to where I couldn't go four hours is when the withdrawal would start setting in and I would have to use again.
00:20:32
Speaker
So for five years, I lived in the dark.
00:20:36
Speaker
For five years, the number one thing in my life was finding drugs and using drugs.
00:20:43
Speaker
And then the next day I would do it again.
00:20:45
Speaker
That is a really crappy way to live your life.
00:20:49
Speaker
And that's what I did.
00:20:50
Speaker
I still was able to go back to the Cardinals the next year, but I was so hopped up on stuff.
00:20:55
Speaker
Now I was taking about 350 milligrams of oxy a day, which eventually turned into heroin.
00:21:02
Speaker
And now I'm down and I'm trying to get up to play football.
00:21:08
Speaker
cocaine, everything came into it.
00:21:11
Speaker
Amphetamine, anything that I could get my hands on.
00:21:15
Speaker
That's what I was going to do.
00:21:17
Speaker
I felt like I had to have it to function.
00:21:19
Speaker
And I couldn't see my life without it.
00:21:21
Speaker
That's how dark it got.
00:21:23
Speaker
It was hell.
00:21:25
Speaker
And addiction takes the soul of the addict.
00:21:31
Speaker
And it breaks the heart.
00:21:34
Speaker
I can never get through that part.
00:21:39
Speaker
of those who love them.
00:21:42
Speaker
I broke a lot of hearts and I caused a lot of damage.
00:21:48
Speaker
And for that it still puts a knot in my stomach.
00:21:51
Speaker
It's really hard for me to talk about that but it took my soul.
00:21:57
Speaker
It almost ruined me.
00:22:00
Speaker
After five years I went up to play in Canada for a little bit.
00:22:04
Speaker
I came back down and
00:22:08
Speaker
One Saturday morning, I did about 300 milligrams of Oxy and almost a whole eight ball of cocaine.
00:22:16
Speaker
I found myself wandering around at Walmart and wandering around at Best Buy.
00:22:21
Speaker
And I can make fun of myself now, but I'm like putting on headphones in the store.
00:22:25
Speaker
I'm gone.
00:22:26
Speaker
I have no idea what's going on.
00:22:28
Speaker
I'm acting like an idiot in the store.
00:22:31
Speaker
They call the cops.
00:22:32
Speaker
Cops come out, and they arrest me.
00:22:36
Speaker
And I vividly remember, not much about that day, but I do remember them putting handcuffs on me and shoving in the back of the police car, and I remember that door getting slammed shut.
00:22:48
Speaker
Boom.
00:22:55
Speaker
Here I am sitting in the back of a police car with my hands cuffed, thinking that's it.
00:23:02
Speaker
I'm done.
00:23:04
Speaker
I'm going to lose my family.
00:23:05
Speaker
I'm going to lose my friends.
00:23:07
Speaker
No one's going to want anything to do with me anymore.
00:23:09
Speaker
I'm a drug addict.
00:23:10
Speaker
I just got arrested.
00:23:11
Speaker
Cocaine and paraphernalia on me.
00:23:14
Speaker
You kidding me?
00:23:16
Speaker
How did I go from being the quarterback at BYU, starting quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals, to a drug addict?
00:23:27
Speaker
arrested in the back of a police car.
00:23:29
Speaker
I'm telling you what, addiction doesn't care who you are, doesn't care how much money you make, doesn't care how good you are at football, it'll come after you if you let it.
00:23:39
Speaker
And it destroyed me.
00:23:43
Speaker
I remember that was on a Saturday, Monday was a holiday, Tuesday it hit the press.
00:23:49
Speaker
Twitter, I was on every front page of the newspaper, news station.
00:23:54
Speaker
People are making fun of me, they're making memes, they're going, you know.
00:24:00
Speaker
I was embarrassed.
00:24:03
Speaker
I wanted to just go away, so I remember Tuesday morning when it came out, and I found out about it.
00:24:10
Speaker
I can't remember exactly what parking lot I was in, but I remember sitting down on a curb,
00:24:18
Speaker
in this parking lot.
00:24:20
Speaker
And for the first time in my life, I didn't think it was worth going on anymore.
00:24:27
Speaker
I thought, I'm just gonna end it right here.
00:24:28
Speaker
I'm gonna figure it out, but for the first time, I thought about killing myself.
00:24:35
Speaker
It was the lowest point in my life, sitting on that curb.
00:24:42
Speaker
I felt alone, I felt scared.
00:24:45
Speaker
Felt like I had lost everything.
00:24:48
Speaker
That's what it did to me.
00:24:50
Speaker
No confidence.
Recovery Journey and Support System
00:24:54
Speaker
I didn't know what to do.
00:24:56
Speaker
So I remember it came out.
00:24:58
Speaker
I don't remember much about the day, but I got picked up.
00:25:02
Speaker
I think my mom came and picked me up, took me over to their house, and I sat down with some family members, some close friends, and they're like, what are we going to do?
00:25:12
Speaker
I said, I don't know.
00:25:13
Speaker
I don't know what I'm going to do.
00:25:14
Speaker
I just, I dug my grave.
00:25:16
Speaker
I'm going to lay in it.
00:25:17
Speaker
That's kind of how I felt.
00:25:19
Speaker
I turned my phone off because I was getting texts and stuff like that, so I turned my phone off.
00:25:25
Speaker
Something in me said, turn your phone back on.
00:25:29
Speaker
When I turned my phone back on, the first call that I got was from Brandon Doman.
00:25:38
Speaker
I just told you the relationship I had for you coaches.
00:25:42
Speaker
and administrators and leaders, you have no idea the effect, well maybe you do, the effect that you can have on young kids.
00:25:56
Speaker
Brandon Doman called me up.
00:25:58
Speaker
He was my guy, he was my coach.
00:26:00
Speaker
He taught me everything about how to be a quarterback and how to be a good person.
00:26:04
Speaker
Called me up and he said, Max, we got you.
00:26:09
Speaker
Get on a plane, get up here to Utah, we're gonna take care of you.
00:26:14
Speaker
I said, okay, I guess that's what we're doing.
00:26:16
Speaker
So I flew up, they got me to a rehab center.
00:26:19
Speaker
I spent 90 days in the rehab center.
00:26:21
Speaker
The first two weeks I was in withdrawal, kicking, hot and cold sweats, I can't stop throwing up, I'm shaking.
00:26:29
Speaker
It's like, imagine the worst flu you've ever had times by 10.
00:26:32
Speaker
That's what I'm going through right now.
00:26:35
Speaker
And I wouldn't answer the phone because I thought Kenzie was gonna leave me.
00:26:40
Speaker
I thought she was out.
00:26:41
Speaker
So I wouldn't take any messages, I wouldn't talk to her, I didn't want to do it, I couldn't face it.
00:26:48
Speaker
So my counselor says, Max, get on the phone and talk to your wife.
00:26:52
Speaker
And when I got on the phone and talked to her, she said, babe, I love you.
00:26:57
Speaker
And if you're willing to fight, I'm willing to fight with you.
00:27:01
Speaker
And she stuck with me.
00:27:02
Speaker
That gave me a little bit of hope
00:27:05
Speaker
And so I said, okay, maybe I can get through this.
00:27:09
Speaker
Maybe I can overcome it.
00:27:11
Speaker
Friends, coaches started coming to visit me in there.
00:27:15
Speaker
I started to kind of come out.
00:27:17
Speaker
At about 30 days of your addiction, your mind starts to clear.
00:27:21
Speaker
Your receptors and everything in your brain start to reconnect.
00:27:24
Speaker
You start to be normal.
00:27:26
Speaker
It's also the time when the cravings happen.
00:27:30
Speaker
I want everybody to imagine something right here because pretty much everybody in this room is addicted to your phone.
00:27:37
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:27:38
Speaker
So I want you to imagine taking your phone, put it in your pocket, leave the ringer on, leave the vibrate on, make sure every notification is on, and that thing's just dingin' in your pocket.
00:27:54
Speaker
All you want to do is grab your phone, right?
00:27:56
Speaker
And you can make any excuse you want why to take that phone out of your pocket.
00:28:00
Speaker
But if you do, you relapse.
00:28:03
Speaker
That's what it's like being a drug addict.
00:28:06
Speaker
That's what it's like having a craving.
00:28:10
Speaker
That was hard.
00:28:11
Speaker
So when I got out of that rehab, two weeks later, I was the most depressed I'd ever been in my life.
00:28:19
Speaker
And all of a sudden, I'm experiencing this anxiety.
00:28:22
Speaker
Man, I had played in front of thousands of people, done tons of interviews, spoken at firesides, and I can't even answer a phone call.
00:28:32
Speaker
I was scared to death at a family, like just my family dinner Sunday night.
00:28:37
Speaker
I'm like, please don't call on me to say the prayer, Dad, because my heart would start and I couldn't breathe and I didn't know what was wrong with me.
00:28:46
Speaker
I'd never experienced that before.
00:28:48
Speaker
So let me tell you guys, this anxiety thing, it's real.
00:28:53
Speaker
Depression, it's real.
00:28:57
Speaker
When I did answer my phone, they'd be like, any friends or whatever, Max, how you doing?
00:29:01
Speaker
I'd be like, well, I'm sitting around.
00:29:02
Speaker
I'm not drinking or using drugs.
00:29:03
Speaker
Other than that, I'm absolutely miserable.
00:29:05
Speaker
Thanks for asking.
00:29:09
Speaker
About a year afterwards, Kenzie's like, nah, we're not doing this.
00:29:16
Speaker
This isn't fighting.
00:29:18
Speaker
You got to change.
00:29:19
Speaker
You have to make a decision on what you're going to do next.
00:29:22
Speaker
And so I had to make a choice.
00:29:24
Speaker
And I decided I was willing to do anything and everything that I had to do to get sober and to change my life around.
00:29:37
Speaker
This anxiety thing that I'm talking about, I'm going to give you a good idea.
00:29:39
Speaker
This is actually from Kenzie, and this is awesome.
00:29:41
Speaker
This explains anxiety.
00:29:44
Speaker
If you've never suffered or you've never had anything, let me explain it to you, and I want you to think about these high school kids as I do because this is some of the things that they're going through.
00:29:54
Speaker
Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time.
00:30:00
Speaker
It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive.
00:30:06
Speaker
It's wanting friends, but hating socializing.
00:30:13
Speaker
It's wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely.
00:30:18
Speaker
It feels like everything at once, and it feels like you're numb.
00:30:22
Speaker
Everything is happening, but you're numb to it.
00:30:29
Speaker
That's how I was and that's how a lot of these high school
Mentorship and Character Development
00:30:31
Speaker
kids are.
00:30:31
Speaker
That's one great thing that I have about a coach.
00:30:34
Speaker
X's and O's are great.
00:30:36
Speaker
And me and Dustin could sit up and draw plays at 2 in the morning all night long.
00:30:42
Speaker
But the best part about my job is mentoring these high school kids.
00:30:47
Speaker
Is coaching them and teaching them to have high character, to make good choices, and to serve the people around them, to help other kids.
00:30:58
Speaker
That's what it's all about.
00:31:00
Speaker
That's what E4A is all about.
00:31:04
Speaker
So I love what we're doing here.
00:31:06
Speaker
Like I said, this is a movement.
00:31:08
Speaker
This is much needed.
00:31:09
Speaker
Hopefully you guys realize how many kids are struggling with this.
00:31:16
Speaker
Having been at the point where I thought about suicide, I can't remember the stat, Dustin, but there's a lot of kids out there committing suicide.
00:31:25
Speaker
Why?
00:31:27
Speaker
What are they going through?
00:31:28
Speaker
What's going on at home?
00:31:29
Speaker
What's going on with their friends?
00:31:31
Speaker
Do they have somebody to talk to?
00:31:33
Speaker
Do they have a coach or a mentor or somebody that can help them?
00:31:38
Speaker
That's what we're trying to do, right?
00:31:41
Speaker
That's what it's all about.
00:31:43
Speaker
We're going to teach these young men and young women how to grow up and how to be successful in whatever endeavor they go into in life.
00:31:53
Speaker
We gotta get them there.
00:31:55
Speaker
And it's people like you in this room who believe in this that can make a difference.
00:32:03
Speaker
It's a lot of it is mindset.
00:32:06
Speaker
I had to change my mindset from being a victim of addiction, okay, into being a leader and to stand up and to own my story.
00:32:20
Speaker
And maybe I can use that to affect the lives of others.
00:32:25
Speaker
So these kids, when they come to me and have these problems, I can call their bull crap all the time.
00:32:29
Speaker
I'll be like, no, give me that, you know, let's talk about this bait pen that you got.
00:32:33
Speaker
Let's talk about this that you're doing.
00:32:36
Speaker
Let's talk about how you're addicted to your phone.
00:32:38
Speaker
You can't stop watching porn.
00:32:40
Speaker
I deal with it on a daily basis.
00:32:42
Speaker
And I do my best to help them.
00:32:45
Speaker
Having been through it myself, I wish I'd have had somebody in high school teaching me this stuff.
00:32:52
Speaker
Maybe I would have never used that drug.
00:32:53
Speaker
Maybe I would have treated people better.
00:32:56
Speaker
Who knows?
00:32:57
Speaker
But I didn't have that.
00:32:59
Speaker
We're trying to give kids that.
00:33:02
Speaker
We're trying to train the coaches and everybody how to handle that.
00:33:06
Speaker
The kids that are doing great, how can you help others?
00:33:09
Speaker
But here's the thing.
00:33:11
Speaker
Even the kids that seem like they're doing great, they have issues too.
00:33:17
Speaker
They're struggling.
00:33:20
Speaker
I never thought I would ever be a drug addict.
00:33:24
Speaker
I never thought something like that would happen to me.
00:33:27
Speaker
Raised in a great family, went to BYU, playing in the NFL.
00:33:34
Speaker
It can happen to any of us.
00:33:38
Speaker
Any of us.
00:33:39
Speaker
I hope you guys all understand that.
00:33:41
Speaker
It can happen to any of you in this room.
00:33:44
Speaker
You go get a surgery, they give you Parkinson's, off you go if you're not careful.
00:33:49
Speaker
The number one reason why kids are getting addicted to opiates is getting their wisdom teeth out.
00:33:54
Speaker
So if you've got a kid getting their wisdom teeth out, be careful about what you're giving them, okay?
00:34:00
Speaker
Monitor that.
00:34:02
Speaker
Fentanyl.
00:34:04
Speaker
Everybody in here has heard of fentanyl, right?
00:34:06
Speaker
It's coming through the border like crazy, and it's making its way to Utah.
00:34:11
Speaker
Just the other day, right over there, I think it was kind of in the Nephi area, they made a huge bust.
00:34:18
Speaker
of thousands of pills of fentanyl.
00:34:21
Speaker
Fentanyl is 80 to 100 times more potent than heroin.
00:34:29
Speaker
A little pinch of salt, of fentanyl, will kill you.
00:34:33
Speaker
And you got guys in whatever, jungle or however they're making this, and they can press the pills, and they can make them look exactly like a Tylenol or a Percocet, or they make them look just like an Oxycontin, but really it's fentanyl.
00:34:49
Speaker
Every week in Arizona, we hear of another high school kid ODing and dying from taking one pill.
00:34:57
Speaker
And sometimes it was the first pill they ever took because someone convinced them to take it, just like I fell to it.
00:35:06
Speaker
They're dying left and right because of this stuff.
00:35:10
Speaker
It is so important that we teach our kids and teach our athletes about the dangers of this stuff and to stay away from it.
00:35:20
Speaker
So I mentioned a little bit about having to change my mind and I'm getting close to the end here.
00:35:24
Speaker
Just hang on.
00:35:25
Speaker
I know I've been a little bit lengthy, but this stuff is important.
Leadership, Responsibility, and Gratitude
00:35:30
Speaker
This is what I teach my kids, my players mainly.
00:35:36
Speaker
And it's the difference between being a victim and being a leader.
00:35:42
Speaker
A victim blames others.
00:35:45
Speaker
for everything that's going on in their lives.
00:35:47
Speaker
They're going to blame everybody else around them.
00:35:51
Speaker
A leader is going to accept responsibility for their actions and look to improve.
00:35:58
Speaker
A victim is selfish and self-centered, only worried about them and whatever, their playing time, their catches, number of shots they get up, right?
00:36:11
Speaker
A leader is service-oriented and looks
00:36:17
Speaker
them who's not jealous but excited when they see somebody else have success and they thrive off that a true leader will never be jealous of somebody else's success a victim will hope things will happen to them they'll sit around and talk about how they should be D1 and they should be getting a scholarship but I'm like what are you doing you're not doing anything extra you're not working hard you're just hoping something
00:36:48
Speaker
that action.
00:36:49
Speaker
They're going to go the extra mile.
00:36:50
Speaker
They're going to run that last wind sprint.
00:36:52
Speaker
They're going to look for somebody that they can serve.
00:36:57
Speaker
Last, the victim always sees a problem and the leader always sees an opportunity to grow and to get better.
00:37:06
Speaker
Those principles have gone a long way with the kids that I'm around.
00:37:11
Speaker
When I can teach them to train or to change their mindset into a leadership mentality,
00:37:17
Speaker
You see growth.
00:37:19
Speaker
You see a change.
00:37:22
Speaker
So I guess to kind of wrap things up, I made a decision to move forward.
00:37:30
Speaker
I made a decision to accept responsibility and be accountable and to own my story and everything that I've done.
00:37:38
Speaker
Everybody, our youth needs this.
00:37:43
Speaker
It's amazing to see as Dustin was up here talking about all the schools and all the kids and all the hours that are being put in to this organization.
00:37:52
Speaker
This is a movement, like I said.
00:37:55
Speaker
This is action.
00:37:56
Speaker
This is teaching.
00:37:58
Speaker
This is standing up for what's right and not accepting that it's okay to do some of the things in this world that people are starting to say is okay.
00:38:07
Speaker
We need to do things the right way.
00:38:10
Speaker
We are making a difference and we are changing lives.
00:38:15
Speaker
And I am so grateful that I can be a small part of this.
00:38:20
Speaker
I'm so grateful for the lessons that are taught from this organization.
00:38:25
Speaker
And I love that.
00:38:26
Speaker
Even Dustin's a great quarterback coach.
00:38:29
Speaker
That's not the most important thing.
00:38:31
Speaker
I love that.
00:38:32
Speaker
That is why I am part of QB Elite and I am part of E4A because of that.
00:38:39
Speaker
Having been through it myself, nothing else in life matters.
00:38:45
Speaker
We are making a difference.
00:38:47
Speaker
We are saving lives.
00:38:49
Speaker
And I appreciate all of you for what you are doing and supporting this cause.
00:38:53
Speaker
So let's keep our eyes up and let's continue to do the work.
00:38:56
Speaker
Thank you, guys.
00:39:01
Speaker
Well, thank you, everybody, for joining the Sportlight Podcast.
00:39:04
Speaker
Thank you.
00:39:05
Speaker
Please like, subscribe, and share this episode with anyone who would be blessed by listening to it to give hope to someone who's currently in that very difficult battle of addiction or listen to it with your kids and team to prevent being caught up in this very difficult trap.
00:39:23
Speaker
Keep your eyes up and do the work.
00:39:25
Speaker
This has been the Sportlight Podcast from Especially for Athletes, sponsored by Coca-Cola.
00:39:31
Speaker
You can learn more about Especially for Athletes by visiting the website at especiallyforathletes.org.
00:39:37
Speaker
You can also learn more about the book, The Sportlight, by Shad Martin and Dustin Smith at especiallyforathletes.org.