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Savage Worlds - The Phony Express 1.5: Jensen Shackles
226 Plays2 years ago
Hi Friends! How Are Ya!?
Today we find the Delivery Team chasing after a Wanted Woman known as Rootin' Tootin' Judy in the bizarre town of Jensen. Maverick has an interest in Ryn's Toes, but not in a kinky way, Cutter gets to play Doctor, and not in a sexy way, Ryn partakes in some bowls and not in a soup kinda way.
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Transcript
Recap of Previous Session
00:00:24
Speaker
All right, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies, gentlemen, nonbinaries of all universes known and unknown. This is role players. Welcome back to the Phony Express in Savage Worlds. I got Adrian here, and Cassie's here, and Justin's here. You know who they are. That's all good and gravy. Hey, let's go over what we did last week instead, huh? Last time that we played. Justin, you first. What happened last time? Sandwiches. Cassie, you're up. What happened after that?
00:00:54
Speaker
And we killed some wolves. Oh, yeah. Adrian, what we do after that? After that, we got to some house and brought our sandwiches, and then we made a photograph of our whole family. Then we rode into the sunset. Yes. Well, you were getting ready to ride into the sunset. That's all you need to know. That was it. Wolves, sandwiches, deliveries, dead stuff.
00:01:22
Speaker
All right. And you guys notice that after you got them taking the picture and you were loading the camera back up, Crips is still laying on the ground unconscious and his wife is still calling from the house.
Jackson Leaves Abruptly
00:01:36
Speaker
He's really good at that. And then you also cut or delivered chain letters, of course.
00:01:45
Speaker
On behalf of him and the other guy whose name I forgot, Craig. Craig. Craig. Craig. He has a list of names. Craig's with Craig. Name resident. That's right. And so as you guys are loading up the camera, you notice that there is a big old trail of dirt kicking up behind you and you can see the tail and the backside of Jackson as he just blasts off.
00:02:09
Speaker
away from you guys in the opposite direction without saying a single word.
Pursuing a Bounty
00:02:15
Speaker
So right now, you guys are loading up your camera and you're getting ready to leave. Also, our good friend Maverick has on the other side of Crawdad Creek, he has a bounty that he needs to go after. Root and toot and Judy, if you want to do that while you're out this way. Of course, of course.
00:02:35
Speaker
So what would you like to do? Would you like to take lead on this one? Would you like to say anything to your compatriots about your bounty or anything? I'm sure. So, hey Carter. Yep. What would you like to help me on this bounty? Yep. So that I can show you the ropes a little bit with bone chanting.
00:03:01
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, we can do that while we're out this way. Maybe, uh, I don't know how much money you get off it, but I want maybe give me a dollar or two out of it. I'd be very helpful, helpful to me. It's not really about the money. It's about putting bad guys away from this land. Oh, well, um, that is not a nice notion, but, um, I do need to come into some money, but, uh, you think there's been enough money to like, get me, get me over the days. Oh, man.
00:03:29
Speaker
that's fine i guess yeah we could still we could do i'll help you out with that no no worries that would renew man i can hear the boys talking outside are they trying to take our money miss ma'am is fine calm down we're just playing our next trip where we're headed off to now oh okay thank god just don't take any more money from under the front door okay we won't
00:03:48
Speaker
Okay, thank God.
Preparing to Leave
00:03:50
Speaker
This woman. Is Jesus still out there? Jesus is. Was that Maverick, I think? It was Maverick or Rim. Yeah. No, ma'am, he's going back to whence he came. Oh, okay. I'll continue to pray for y'all. All right, thank you. I need to break the breath, so I need to leave. Yeah, let's get up out of here. This place is driving crazy.
00:04:19
Speaker
Lead the way to this thing here, there, Mav. Rini, are you riding with them with your wagons or anything that you want to do before you haul ass out of here? Well, I mean, I'll go with them if they want me to, but I don't think so. I am, you can come with us, Rini. Oh, yeah? Cool. Yeah, she wants you to come, of course, join. Cool. I mean, I didn't want to step on any toes or anything. I mean, I don't need
00:04:43
Speaker
do you have toes I do but they're like they're different I'll have to show you some time yeah I want to see your toes
00:04:59
Speaker
She's a robot.
Traveling to Jensen Town
00:05:00
Speaker
I'm sure it's interesting. I need to like just clip that and play it on Twitter over and over again. He said it in such a pervy way, like, I want to see your boobs. That is my favorite thing of all time right now. Not very much vantosia toes.
00:05:25
Speaker
Okay, well. I'm getting on the top of my horse. Here we go. Your EC starts pecking you. Pecker, pecker, pecker, pecker. Got you, dang bird. Never get the bird on the road. It's not a sexual thing. It's for science. Everybody's so naughty.
00:05:46
Speaker
Maverick, you can see, as you guys are heading out, you have to go up and around. There's a little bridge that crosses over the creek to the other side, from the other side of Crawdad Creek. And you know that they just said it's north of that side somewhere. They weren't very specific with where she is. I just know that was the last place that she was seen.
00:06:12
Speaker
We got to do a little investigating. Like any indication on how this woman looks like, smells like, how tall she is, right? Yeah, there's like- What kind of toes does she have? It's just a picture of her left toe. It's just the one toe that's left in her foot. He's a toe under.
00:06:32
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, so there is like a like a very crude drawing of her on the on the poster that you picked up. Mm hmm. Yeah, she's got kind of like last the last drawing that they have of her. She looks kind of like she's a little bit older, probably in her 40s, at least compared to the time, like I was I was relatively old. And she she's got like kind of real droopy looking eyes. And she has she was last seen with kind of like a very worn
00:06:59
Speaker
I don't know what you call it like a 10 gallon hat, I guess whatever the traditional cowboy hats were called. So yeah, it looks like it's very beat up and worn. Looks like they colored it pretty dark. So you might be able to assume it's a black hat. So yeah, like really and kind of like straw looking hair kind of sticking out from the bottom of it. But that's about like the best that you can get based off the picture.
00:07:21
Speaker
Like a young granny from Beverly Hillbillies. Exactly. I'm going to shoot some varmints. I'm looking at the picture of Maverick. I'm like, now what does it say this lady did there, Maverick? She's a real mischievous girl, it seems. She's been shooting around the neighborhood.
00:07:52
Speaker
I'm glad we
Shopping and Flirtations
00:07:54
Speaker
figured that out now. I did not want to go back to jail, guys. I didn't want to go to jail the first time yet, totally.
00:08:07
Speaker
Yeah, I wanted to the first time. I don't want to go back though. Don't believe the hype. I've never been in jail. I don't know what you're talking about.
00:08:18
Speaker
It says on the bottom of the bounty, it says, Root and Toot and Judy, is a total dick. And dicks start to serve to laugh. Dicks get shot around here. It's like the catchphrase at Million Day Ways the Diner was, like, people die at the fair. Dicks get shot around here.
00:08:39
Speaker
Yeah, so as you guys cross the bridge and you're heading around and you're looking for, you know, where to go next, you do see that there is a stake kind of about maybe like 15 feet away from the bridge. As you go up, it's got a little signpost in it that... Oh, look at that delicious stake. Yes. I just wanted to put a sign in that stake. I'm kidding.
00:09:00
Speaker
Sorry, I couldn't help myself. No, it's okay. I love steak. So yeah, you see the sign and it shows, it's kind of like a little cross sign. It points back the way it came. It says, do dad, like four miles. And then it points upward and it says, in a mile, there's a place called Jensen.
00:09:20
Speaker
So like, you know, that's a lead that you could possibly take. If you want to go investigate any other areas around, you can also do that if you want to do a little bit of Roman. But Jensen is the closest town. What I want to do is I want to show Ishii the picture and say to her, this is the woman we need to search for. And then I give her like a snack and throw her into the air.
00:09:55
Speaker
Yeah, so she she gets up in the air. Do you want to do a role for her to have her do a little searching around? It might take her a while. She's not going to find anybody right away, but like she will come back with some leads eventually. You could do like a notice. She's like on a lookout. Yeah. Yeah. She can kind of help you do a little bit, a little bit of investigating.
00:10:19
Speaker
But I'm still prepared. I don't know what a notice roll is. A notice roll is a notice roll. No, but what a notice roll is from Ishi. Oh, I don't know either, dude. Whatever you roll is, I'll trust. Roll your notice for now, whatever it is. Okay. All right. We can always go back at it later and get that all sorted out.
00:10:42
Speaker
Uh, yeah. Okay. Cool. Yeah. She, she leaves and, um, you know, she may come back with something useful or she may come back with a dead animal, but you know, we'll see, which could also be useful. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so, uh, what do you guys want to do cutters or anything that you want to do while you guys are scouting around to maybe help with the effort to find this person? Um, I'm going to say, Hey Maverick, you reckon them and them people up in Jensen might notice lady.
00:11:12
Speaker
I mean, it's the only toner I see around, so it's worth a try. All right. I mean, we can go around beating the bushes all day, but we ain't never going to fire if we don't know where we're going.
Church Hostage Situation
00:11:24
Speaker
So maybe somebody can point us in a general vicinity. You can go beating the bushes later when you got here. Yeah, we'll beat that bush when time comes, but until then.
00:11:45
Speaker
I had something that I was going to have them do.
00:11:56
Speaker
No, he did an all right role. Ren, anything that you want to add to the investigation or do you want to ride towards Jensen? Is there anything else that you want to try to do? You can have your own little personal quest out here if you want, whatever you want to do. No, I'll just follow. I don't really have any business out this way, so I'll just be long for the ride. Okay. You should search for a new employee for matching carpets. Yeah.
00:12:24
Speaker
I could do that, you know, there might be some, there might be sucky.
00:12:30
Speaker
Sucky number two. Maybe there's a beady or a licky or a... Or a handy. A handy. You know, I do need a handy and I do need a licky. You know, we might get lucky guys. Oh, we get lucky too. Yeah.
00:12:54
Speaker
So as you guys are heading towards Jensen, you see, again, there is a little bit of traffic coming from there. There are a couple cowpoke riding alongside each other, like down the road you guys are riding up, this kind of dirt road. Howdy. Howdy.
00:13:10
Speaker
They continue going down the road, minding their business. It's a little bit hot over this direction. The sun's still kind of high. You can see some steam coming off the ground at times.
00:13:29
Speaker
And you see there are a couple of camps, too. There are a few people that are a little bit off the road a ways, maybe on the hill where there's some shade, kind of has some camps. You hear off in the distance, you hear the sound of a guitar strumming. Somebody probably just playing some music to pass the time away. So yeah, there's some different, I wouldn't call it hustle and bustle, but there's a little bit of activity on your way.
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah, so as you continue towards Jensen, you kind of see a town that looks very similar to Dudad, but definitely it's a smaller population. It's kind of a pass-through town, but like they have a sign like as you kind of come up that says, Jensen Town, we have a church.
00:14:16
Speaker
Yeah, it's to dad with a third church. Your dad doesn't have a church. Yeah, they got a brothel. Yeah, it got repurposed into a brothel when people were when they when they when they left Christ. So they that's why everybody thinks that rain is Jesus. So so yeah, so you guys get up in there.
00:14:41
Speaker
And you can actually see, as you get into the town, you see whatever it is that you imagine that is probably there, that would make sense for the time to be in a small town. And like, what do you see, Cutter? What's in town? That's the first thing Cutter notices when you get up in there. Oh, man. You know, Cutter notices, just like every other town, there's always a little tink.
00:15:05
Speaker
of a blacksmith right near the stables every time you come right in. Oh yeah, absolutely. You can hear it no matter where you are because this town is very small. Yeah, you hear Tink, Tink, Tink. And then you hear, Tink, where are you? I'm trying to call you. Tink.
00:15:19
Speaker
And then this little halfling girl runs out, sorry, dad. And they both start tinkering together. Tink. Wow, I thought that was the man working on the anvil. But that was him saying, wow, I can't. Boy, that would trick me when they're there. What does Rin notice when you first ride into town? What's the first thing that you spot? I would notice probably the first little cute shop
00:15:48
Speaker
on the corner. Yeah, there's an arts and crafts store. It's like a little ceramic business that someone's writing. It's called Bulls, Bulls, Bulls. And then there's a special says half off on big bulls.
00:16:14
Speaker
So, we're fine. How big are your balls? Big enough, man. Big enough. Ooh, can we go by there later, guys? Actually, you could also go there while we go around asking. Oh, OK. Yeah, cool. I'll do that. Heck yeah. Yeah, Bitey gets excited. Come, come, come, come, come. Come on, don't worry, buddy. Just want to go shopping, Bitey, Bitey.
00:16:44
Speaker
Let's go, buddy. OK, so so you're just going to pull off to the side of the road and go to the bowl store. Yeah. OK, as the other boys leave. Yeah. OK. As you do, you hear the sound of church bells like there's a little church up on the hill up yonder, you can see it like ding, ding, ding, ding. And they say some people are kind of
00:17:14
Speaker
You see kind of a gal who's sitting out on the side. I was going to say sidewalk, but they don't really have those. I guess on some bench somewhere, and she's just beating a stick into the ground. You can kind of just overhear some random conversation, and you kind of hear her seem like, Mom hasn't gotten back to church yet. I'm bored. She told me she was going to take me to go fishing. She's whacking a stick on the ground over and over and over again.
00:17:42
Speaker
And actually, as you guys are kind of riding around and going to ask some questions, you do see that Ishii comes from the direction of the church and lands on your shoulder, Maverick and pecks you in the head and then pecks in that direction, goes pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pecker pe
00:18:08
Speaker
How long has it been? Oh, I mean, not since I've gotten a doodex and got one, so about a minute. It's been some time for me as well, but today's the day. You see Ishii starts pecking at the pocket where you keep her treats. I earned that shit. You wait until I see the person, then I give you some treats.
00:18:37
Speaker
It's a very defiant squawk that she gives you and then she leaves her shoulder and flies away. That's what you say for a bitch. Yeah. Fuck you, dad. Are you guys heading to the church? Yes. All right. As y'all head to the church, we'll cut. Are you also going to the church or anything else you want to do before you head out that way? I'm going to go do that job with the old man there.
00:18:59
Speaker
Okay. Uh, before we do that, let's cut over to the, uh, to bowls, bowls, bowls for a second. Um, so, uh, Ren, you're getting off, off the wagon, going to bowls, bowls, bowls. And you see a man sitting outside. Um, he's, he's whittling, um, in a little rocking chair. And he says, ma'am, welcome to bowls, bowls, bowls. Uh, the missus is right inside. If you're looking for bowls, um, and, uh, we're half off on big bowls today, man. Thank you. Yeah. Hand painted.
00:19:28
Speaker
She'll walk in after she ties up Bitey. Bitey, guard the cart. Good horse. And she pats the head and then heads in. That's the noise that Bitey makes when they're drinking water and trying to talk at the same time.
00:19:52
Speaker
So you walk in there's just bowls bowls bowls everywhere like tons of different types of balls you do see what looks like a Native American woman in there with another with another white lady.
00:20:07
Speaker
And they are kind of like, they're reorganizing some of the like little units, little shelving units they have like on the side, like little shelving with different types of bowls. They're kind of reorienting them based on color. And you can see they're very, they look like they're handcrafted. They're very beautiful. A lot of intricate like paint designs on them and stuff like that.
00:20:31
Speaker
Are they made out of glass or clay? They're definitely clay. They're like a clay ceramic-ish kind of style to them. Yeah, definitely not glass. They look like they were made in a fire or some kind of stove.
00:20:46
Speaker
They're they're cut they're like they're not perfect They're kind of what makes them beautiful is like they are kind of imperfect where like they're kind of like maybe Not completely symmetrical on both like on all sides Maybe it droops a little bit one way or the other You know, but like you can tell that like people made these by hand that it
Chaos and Capture
00:21:02
Speaker
wasn't like, you know We made them by hand like yeah
00:21:08
Speaker
And so the the white woman kind of comes up to you and she says She says hey, welcome the balls balls balls. I heard that my husband tell you about our special. Would you care for a big bowl today? And then you see the Native American woman in the back winks I
00:21:34
Speaker
Yeah, I was looking for something for my one of my employees. Her name is Sheffi, or his name, sorry, his name is Sheffi. And I was hoping to find something for him to be able to put his like potato salad or something. And so I thought I'd come and check it out. Oh, of course, we have wide bowls, we have high bowls, we have baby bowls, we have big bowls, depends on how much how big of a salad he's looking to make.
00:22:03
Speaker
Well, you know, we might be having a party soon. And so maybe a bigger size bowl.
00:22:10
Speaker
Oh, well, hey, listen, our big bulls are half off today. So if you want a big bull, yeah. Um, and then you see, you see the native woman in the back kind of smiles real big again. Um, and, um, she says, yeah, so, um, I mean, take your pick. What, what, what kind of size you, what kind of color you're looking for? Any sort of designs you want something simple, something more intricate. Well, I know for sure his favorite color.
00:22:40
Speaker
green so let's find like a green colored one with maybe like like not so intricate design he's not so you know yeah he's not so like frilly
00:22:57
Speaker
Okay, that's cool. And she goes, Aponee. And then she starts speaking in like this kind of native tongue that I don't know if Rin understands. And then she starts kind of, you know, saying some things and pointing around and stuff like that. And then you can see Aponee like turns around and like starts like rummaging through some different boxes they have and then like, you know, running running to the back real quick. And she comes out with a couple like simple
00:23:23
Speaker
like simple simple designs maybe just like a single stripe on the bottom or maybe like a simple stripe kind of going vertical to kind of get like a racing stripe look or something like that. But yeah, they're very simple looking bulls. They're quite large. And then she smiles at you and then the the other woman says like, I mean, do any of these kind of stand out for you? There is one that's got some green over there.
00:23:45
Speaker
We also have some darker, cooler colors, if you like, maybe a blue. Also, we have a couple of neutrals in case, you know, I know you said green, but, you know, earthy colors like a brown. Do any of those fit what you're looking for? Yeah, I kind of like this one here with the green and the blue stripe in the middle. This one will work here. How much is this one? Well, it's half off. And so with our half off price, it's going to be a simple $2 for the bull.
00:24:13
Speaker
Wonderful. I'll take it. Thank you. Oh, excellent. You are not going to regret it. Now, I will say that that one is one of our freshest ones that we've made. So, you know, just be extra careful with it. It's still kind of cooling off a little bit in some places. You don't want to, you know, have it melt on your or break or anything like that. OK, sounds good. And she'll like reach into her little pouch that she has on her hip and she'll hand them two dollars.
00:24:42
Speaker
And then she says, and Appany was wondering if you would like to try some of her other homegrown products. Oh, tell me more.
00:24:54
Speaker
And then she also goes, Ebony. And then they start talking again for a minute. And then Ebony responds. And then she responds back to her a couple of times. And then she says, she would like you to follow her out back, where she kind of keeps her own little, you know, she runs, she helps me run my shop, but also kind of has her own little one out, you know, in the backyard. If you'd like to go and take a take a look.
00:25:17
Speaker
Sure. Do you have a gift wrapping service or anything? Because I think that maybe this could be a surprise for him. Oh, I'm sure we can figure something out. Apnea is very talented and has a lot of buckskin bags and stuff like that that maybe we could put it in. Wonderful. To make it look extra fancy.
00:25:38
Speaker
Of course. You hear the guy from out front rocking on his chair. He goes, yeah, make sure to ask for the ginseng express. That's a goodie. Okay. And you see Appany smiles like really big and just kind of like motions for you to follow her out the back. And the other woman holds the door for you and she says, yeah, right this way. Come on out.
00:26:04
Speaker
follow. Okay and you go out and like you see this you walk into like essentially like a garden that's like is really well nice maintained garden and there are like roots and there are vegetables and there are like other herbal plants and things like that and they have like their own like little mini pots and stuff like that and a few ceramic vases that also have things growing out of them all sorts of different colors and
00:26:30
Speaker
Appany speaks to the woman again. And then she says, yeah, she wants to know if you're looking for some more traditional
00:26:42
Speaker
Well, I just I'm going to be honest, you know, she she she has some customary herbal blends that she likes to give to people for drinking or for smoking. And yeah, it just kind of depends on your flavor. You know, some of them she mixes in with tobacco.
00:27:01
Speaker
Others, she will just put in a little bag that you can dip in your tea, and some are for relaxing, some are for, you know, to kind of help you sleep, and other ones are for really, if you just want to party, and then you hear the guy all the way out in front of you, he goes, woohoo! So, I mean, like... Well, you know what? That sounds amazing, and, you know, my favorite...
00:27:25
Speaker
it runs within the couch so uh if you have anything something similar to that i'll absolutely take some of that for you uh yeah why don't we um and she speaks over to apone again and um she says she says yeah i think that we can have that arranged for you sure and let's just call it um we'll just call it the special blend you got it
00:27:49
Speaker
that sound good. She speaks she speaks to apone a few times and then like you hear the word special blend mixed into into the language. And then then apone speaks back and it's just it's gonna be five five spot for the for the special blend. All right, you got it. Excellent dollars.
00:28:12
Speaker
All right. And so she gives you like a little, she's, you see, you see happening starts like picking different things out of these different pots and kind of like, you see her pulling out a mortar and pestle and just starts immediately starts grinding them in and then like pours them into a bag and it puts a little bit of liquid in there and mixes it up a little bit. It's something you haven't quite seen before with this kind of process from what you're used to, but like, and like you see the woman who's like been translating for her the whole time, she goes, just trust me, she knows what she's doing.
00:28:40
Speaker
And then after a couple of minutes, she kind of takes around back and then she comes out with a little mini cloth bag for you. And then she has a larger buckskin bag that she made. She says she's going to give you the bag for free because you helped out. So that's quite all right. That's her product. So she can give it to you. That's OK. And so she gives you the bag to put the bowl in.
00:29:08
Speaker
And um, you hear Appany speaks one more time and then she says, um, and like you see the woman kind of blushes a bit and she says, and she says, please Appany, don't make me say that. And then like, you see, like, she, she kind of gives you like, uh, Appany gives you like a little, like a little flirtatious smile and just like walks away and starts like tending to the garden again. And she goes, and the woman turns around, she goes, I, um,
00:29:37
Speaker
I mean, you can probably figure out what that was about, right? I don't really, I don't need to, right? I don't really don't wanna do this. It's not my arm, wasn't it? Oh, no. She, I mean, for a town that has a church in it, Apennie still is a little bit getting used to our customs, but she finds your visage pretty, that's all I'm going to say.
00:30:05
Speaker
Well tell her I appreciate that and give her a hug for me. Yes I will do that but in the meantime please enjoy your special blend and your bowl and please come back to Bowls Bowls Bowls whenever you're in town. Sounds good thank you very much. You're very welcome. Also I was wondering have you heard of somebody named Judy around there?
00:30:33
Speaker
Oh, Judy, you're talking about rooting to duty. Yes, definitely. Yeah, we used to have her signs up around here. We try it. We've been trying to leave her alone because she kind of comes here to hide out. She doesn't bother most people, but she's been getting really rowdy lately. So I've heard.
00:30:53
Speaker
Yeah, we don't really know. She's very wild and fruity and she's a little loony. Yeah, just be careful around her. She kind of went through a lot of bad stuff recently. And she just really has lost her mind since. So, you know, why are you guys cops?
00:31:16
Speaker
Are you sheriff? Oh, no. You don't look sheriff. I've only seen her posters, so I was just wondering. Yeah, you can't bust us for this. This is legal here. No, no, no. I run a brothel, honey. Don't worry about this shit. Oh, okay. Well, it's nice to know there's a woman that owns a business around here. Wow. Yeah, don't worry. I'll be back for more bulls. There's hope for all of us. Okay, thanks.
00:31:44
Speaker
And rain buzzes off? Yep.
00:31:47
Speaker
Okay. So we cut to while that was going on and cut to Maverick and our friend, butterscotch. What'd you call yourself one? Zencaster, butter, roast, pool. So, so you head up to the church and you can hear kind of like a
First Aid and Transport Plans
00:32:06
Speaker
commotion. You hear like, actually, as you guys get closer to the church, you hear that like people are kind of screaming out a little bit from inside of the church.
00:32:14
Speaker
uh and then um you hear kind of like kind of like a muffled shouting farther in it kind of sounds uh sounds female um but uh but you can't quite hear it like as you get up because it's kind of muffled and the church is made of some sturdy wood um but yeah you do hear a commercial a commotion up there and there are some like wagons that are yeah you hear a commercial plan uh it's another cowboy series just uh avoid the side effects of death and death
00:32:44
Speaker
Do you need leeches? So as you come up, yeah, you hear a bit of a commotion, you see a couple of horses that are tied up to the, you know, do whatever the post. Quite a few actually like a couple dozen horses and then like a few wagons are up there. Sunday. Yes. And you hear the bell ringing out. What do you do?
00:33:10
Speaker
Oh hell, may I ever sound like something's... Liberty of the what bell? As you just heard the bell, sorry, it's not currently ringing. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Anyway, oh hell, may I ever sound like something's going out? We better get up here. I mean, got to kind of look at this. Yeah. I'm going to, like, not run right in, though. I'm going to slam against, like, the side of the door and try and peek in.
00:33:31
Speaker
There is a window. There is a window that is about at eye level that you could peer through. And you can see that there is a lot of people like dressed in their Sunday best or their nice dresses and things. And you see a woman who currently has a gun pointed at
00:33:51
Speaker
The man in the cloth up at the front Like she kind of has like her arm wrapped around him from the back and she has a gun pressed to his head and she's shouting some things about how like they took everything from me and things like that and she's just like that's we can kind of make out like when you see her like I took everything from me and you know, she occasionally she points the gun out at the crowd that are in there and some of that kind of like Okay And then you don't see anything else because you talked
00:34:22
Speaker
I want to first give Ishi another snack for finding the woman. And then I want to send her in as a distraction. How are you going to send her in? I wanted to like fly around like how high is church?
00:34:45
Speaker
I mean, about as big as like your traditional like one room church, like a big ass church. But yeah, like, but there's no other entrance, like, and there's the windows like on the side, but yeah, there's no other way in but the windows if you break through them or the or the front door.
00:35:02
Speaker
I want Ishii to fly through the door and do some loud cross so that the woman gets distracted by Ishii first. Ishii flies into the door. It's not open. That's a funny image, man.
00:35:23
Speaker
Like Ishii looks at you kind of confused and is like, okay. And now she has a concussion. I assume the door is open. Nope. The doors are closed and there's a couple of windows. And so yeah, the door is shut. So your bird flies into the door. Looks at you very angrily. That's a door open.
00:35:52
Speaker
Does the door open when she flies into it? No, it just makes a thud. No, I mean, can I open the door? When you go to give it a pull, like it feels like someone latched it from the inside. OK. Yeah, you can hear, oh, God, someone's here. And then you hear, I don't care. I don't care who's here. Y'all ain't going to make it out of here alive. And then she starts firing her gun into the air. Holy hell.
00:36:21
Speaker
What's the guy always saying for a dead redemption? Crass the laugh! Crass the laugh laugh! What do you do? I smash the window and at first when I just talked to her. You smash the window and she immediately points the gun in your direction. She's like, everybody sit back down. Hey lady, what's the problem? What's your problem, prick?
00:36:47
Speaker
I asked you first. Yeah, well, I asked you second. I'm the one pointing the gun at you. I'm having a gun right here as well, and also another gun and a bird, so... We might deny this of you to add to my question. Do you want me to shoot this pervert in a cloth's brain, clean out and smother the children over there with it? Is that really necessary? For me it is, yeah. Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Who the fuck are you?
00:37:16
Speaker
Uh, you don't know me yet, but you will get to know me very soon. Why? Why would I want to get to know you? Uh, because I can help you. Oh yeah? Please do, Mr. Doctor Headshrink, sir. Tell me how you're gonna fix Lilo. At first, you gotta tell me what's the problem. What are you, my fucking shrink? What's a shrink? I don't know. I heard someone on TV say it once.
00:37:44
Speaker
I have a follow-up. I bring my window. Stevie! Oh, fuck. And she's pointing at both. And he sees somebody goes to get up and she goes, I swear to fucking God, Mr. Johnson, I swear to God, sit the fuck back down. And you hear the man, like, that she's been, like, kind of choking with a gun against. He just, like, starts, like, praying, praying out. And he's, like, saying all the Lord's Prayer stuff. And she goes, yeah, yeah, get it all out of your system now there, pervert. You think it's gonna send you to heaven? It ain't.
00:38:13
Speaker
All we can do is the easy way, and I'll try to help you, or we can do it the hard way, and you won't make it out of there alive. Are you here for the bounty? Is that what you is? Is that what's going on here? I can see your little badge. Can she see me? You're picking the fucking window! Of course she can see you! But couldn't she only see my head or something? Well, it depends on how tall you are. If you're a little short guy, then no. But if you're just looking at the window, it's not like the fucking window is a storing doll.
00:38:43
Speaker
Especially if you just broke out the window, you would have had to break it out with your face. So she can see you. And she's like, I can see, I can see your stupid little badge there and its stupidness. I'm just here to resolve the situation that we're going on here. Who's your pubey beard friend over there? I mean, he's got to introduce himself. Oh, well, by all means, Mr. Pubey beard. My name's Cutter.
00:39:13
Speaker
Just hope we don't kill nobody today. Well, are y'all here to kill me? Because that means that if you're going to kill me, then I got to kill the perv in a dress and all this little constituent, no, the other pervs. It's like I said, ma'am, we can do this the hard way, but we can also do it the more easier way. Just need to let go of the man and we will talk. Why? So you can haul me in? No, a few.
00:39:43
Speaker
I promise you, if you drop the gun, I will go in there and I will promise I will not put you in jail. Well, that's not very, you know, I don't know you and you're a bounty hunter, so I mean, what business do you have here other than just to capture me or take my life? My business is to make this place better. A better place. Oh, I would like that too.
00:40:13
Speaker
You gonna give me a horse? You gonna bring Lila back for me? Hmm? So that's the problem. You gonna find my stupid fucking husband who decided just to leave me because I fell into the drink just a little bit, huh? You gonna bring all them back for me and make all Judy's life a little bit better? Is that what you're gonna do, mister? I don't fucking think so. Unless you got some sort of crazy, perfect god powers to bring people back from the dead, I don't see this working out for me. And thus for any of these people.
00:40:43
Speaker
So your husband has died? No, he ran off. My whole side. Maverick, let me try some. Okay. Hey, Judy, was it? That's what they call me. Well, let me answer your question with another question. Is any of that stuff going to get fixed by you killing all these folk? Or are you just going to feel worse for having killed a bunch of folk, even if you think you want to kill them?
00:41:10
Speaker
If you know that I got a bounty on me, you know very well that I've been kind of causing some trouble for quite some time now. I think this has been a steady escalation, and I feel like if old rootin' tootin' Judy's gonna go out, listen, I only got a few more shots left in this gun.
Sheriff's Intervention
00:41:26
Speaker
So, once these are empty, I know that I'm gonna be subdued no matter what. It just hugely decides to feel froggy first as one's getting shot.
00:41:35
Speaker
It don't end well for me, Mr. Cutter. It could. As you said yourself, you've just been causing ruckuses. You ain't done no harm to nobody yet except for the peace. If you shoot people now, that's all different. But right now, I don't know if you want to make it out of there live, but you can if you just
00:41:59
Speaker
It ain't going that far yet. I have a question. Is your damn friend going to hold me in? Adrian had a question. What did you say? How is she holding him? Is she holding him right in front of her? Yeah, he's in front of her. She's got her arm around his front, on his neck, and has the gun pressed to the side of his head. And you can see the side corner of her head sticking out as she's talking over her shoulder.
00:42:26
Speaker
Should it be hard to hit her without hitting him? It would be pretty tough, yeah. I mean, you certainly could try to shoot her in the head if you want, but there is a risk that you would end up murdering a priest. So, I mean, it's up to you if you want to take that risk.
00:42:44
Speaker
So I mean and there's other bystanders in the building that you know could potentially start making a ruckus if they say Yeah, think of us and they're little white smocks in my white smock For whatever is called a cassock and Cass cock my casket
00:43:10
Speaker
And she says, listen, I know this don't end well for me. Okay. And quite frankly, maybe going out in a blaze of glory ain't such a bad thing. I mean, cut her, was it? You look like a man who's seen some shit. Don't you think that life would just be better? Maybe you get a redo. You know, who knows what happens when we die, but I don't think some magic man takes me to the clouds. That's for fucking sure.
00:43:41
Speaker
Maybe I got a do-over. I don't know. I heard something about that once. Well, you can't be sure. I mean, you can always make amends now while you're in this life. Try to make this one good while you got it. What better place for me to go out than in a church? God's gotta forgive me if he exists if I die in a church, right? I don't think that's how it works, Miss Judy.
00:44:07
Speaker
Not really, no. And the pastor's like, nah, nah, child, it doesn't work that way. And she just pulls her grip tighter on his neck. I don't think you need to interject at the moment. Yeah. And every time you guys talk, you see people in the congregation are turning their heads to you, then back to Judy. They're getting whiplash. They're like, well, this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened in this town in a long time.
00:44:36
Speaker
Yeah, and then she says, Look, I got four shots, four shots left in this thing. Do you want to be two of those shots? Or I could just put all four in this priest here and then you guys can just gun me down. What do you say? I don't want to shoot you, Judy. I don't want to shoot you. Yeah, Mr. Bounty man.
00:45:04
Speaker
Now I'm not saying that I want to send Ishi in so that she tries to attack her. Okay, so you're going to send your bird into the church. Yes. So you try to attack Root and Toot and Judy. Yes. Are you sure? Are you asking that? I'm just making sure that you're understanding what you're about to do.
00:45:34
Speaker
You can do whatever you want to do, brother. I'm just making sure that you know the consequences that could potentially happen if you fucking do that. What are the consequences? I don't want to tell you, because I'm just saying that bad things can happen. That's all I can say. You can do whatever you want to do. I just want to make sure that you know that if you're going to send a bird who does not travel faster than a bullet into a church... You also have to be the bird that's flying through the air.
00:46:00
Speaker
You are correct on that. Hey, you know what? Excuse that I even said anything. Go ahead and send your bird into the church. Is that what you're doing? Is that what you're doing to the church? Yeah. Oh, well, OK, then. I would like to get on a record and say that I tried. It's quite a spell. All right. So what does this look like when you send Ishii in?
00:46:30
Speaker
I give her, like, in the special force, I give her, like, some hand signs to fly in. And then what I want to do is, like, when she's attacking her, that what I imagine is that she would, like, probably let go of the man and I want to hit her with my gun. Okay. Making a lot of stuff into there, Adrian!
00:46:58
Speaker
Okay, well, let's let's do this first. Let's do a let's
00:47:11
Speaker
Let's just do a straight luck check, okay? This is just a straight, like, just roll, I don't even know, just a d6. Like, let's see, I just... Potentially. I'm nervous. Alright, you roll the six. So, I'm gonna say that Ishii manages to get through the window without her being able to even take a shot at her.
00:47:34
Speaker
Um, she was definitely gonna, the moment that fucking thing came through the window, she was going to go crack, crack, crack. And there's nothing blocking her from hitting your bird. Um, like he's in open space the moment he comes to that window. Um, but yeah, so she goes to fire shot off once, like as, as she like just burst in, she goes, Jesus fucking, she like fires her gun off. Um, but like, as, as she comes in, you're drawing your gun, right? Mm-hmm.
00:48:02
Speaker
Alright, let's just do a shooting role between you and her to see how this goes. Imagine another one of Adrian's characters dies here.
00:48:20
Speaker
Oh my god. Oh, she fucking crit failed. Ooh, man, you are lucky. So lucky. She points the gun in your direction. So again, you shoot, she crit fails her shot. You got a five on your wild die and she has a full body of cover in front of her. So that's the other bad thing that you didn't take into consideration when you were shooting at her.
00:48:47
Speaker
And so you shoot, you get him, and you get her. I said that I want to shoot once she's attacked her. Yeah, but that doesn't mean... Okay, so, root and toot and Judy ain't just turning around and showing her asshole to you because a bird flew into the office. You know what I mean? You're there, and a fucking eagle flies at your face, but you really care about the person in front of you.
00:49:13
Speaker
Well, again, she shot at it. She's not she's smart enough to not fly into a bullet. So like she's not going to stand there and let herself get shot at. So like a bullet cracked off. But again, I didn't have her do a roll because like you rolled her the high luck check. So like she just randomly missed a shot. She's like, fuck that shit.
00:49:29
Speaker
comes in and starts attacking your face. But again, just because you imagine it doesn't mean that's what is going to happen. And so it would be more fun, but I tried to warn you several times about what you were asking me to do. So if you're going to take a shot and you got a five and she's in almost full cover with a man still in front of her that she's choking, by the way, that's definitely not going to be a total hit unless you want to accept that you hit the priest and you hit her.
00:49:57
Speaker
the bullets powerful enough and you're close enough that you could probably get through both of them so either you hit just like shot through the shoulder or something and she gets you know could you could yeah i mean he doesn't have to die just i could just through his shoulder or something and gets her
00:50:37
Speaker
while she's flashing around trying to hit him with her free hand. And so as you go to shoot, she just accidentally turns to Priest in your direction. You shoot through the Priest's left shoulder and through her left shoulder. And she kind of staggers back against the wall. And you know what? Go ahead and roll damage, because I want to see how much you do to both of them. That's a yikes. Oh my god. Oh.
00:50:44
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's a good idea, yeah.
00:51:07
Speaker
Priest is hurt way more than just the standard shot through the fucking shoulder. Can I be split between them? Did he dance still? He's a priest without, he's not wearing any armor. You rolled a 19 on your damage. Holy shit. That's a lot. 23 with bonus, right? Or is that? Well, he didn't roll an ace on his shot, so he didn't get the bonus. Oh, I gotcha. So yeah, but 19 is still a lot of damage because he aced on his ace. Yeah, it is. Oh, shit.
00:51:36
Speaker
So yeah, so you fucking like that priest and Judy just kind of fall back Judy's toughness was like a seven So like that's still a lot of damage to her. So yeah, she's like she's down on the ground. She's hurt really really badly Definitely shaken in a couple of wounds that priest. I don't think he's gonna make it through the night You shot him with a lot of damage and he was unarmed and I'm not prepared to be shot
00:52:05
Speaker
And so yeah, she drops him she drops herself to fall on the ground the crowd like starts going up in a ruckus. Oh my god They're like kind of like beating on the doors and trying to get out They're kind of removing the removing the the the blockade and like they're busting to the doors and they're all fleeing while Judy lays bleeding on bleeding on the ground I'm gonna try and rush in to the priest same. Yeah I Can see him I can see Christ
00:52:35
Speaker
No, feller. Not yet. I start when I was our claws nearby. I just rip his little robes. You could rip his robes. Yeah, like his his arm is like barely hanging on like where he got hit in the shoulder. Yeah, like he shot like in like the perfect place to just trash the nerve and the muscles. And it's like barely, barely like. Is there anybody still like tailing out of the place? Yeah, they're all fucking they're all running. Somebody call the doctor. I'll get right on it when they invent cell phones.
00:53:09
Speaker
As they start running down you see some of the horses like kind of galloping out of there And yeah, you see you see rooting to duties like gasping like on the ground like She still has her gun like in her inner. She's pointing. I know you guys put handcuffs on her I
00:53:29
Speaker
Um, well, um, give me a second first. Um, cause you got your turn. She didn't get a turn. Um, so we're going to do a little shooting at me too. Uh, she succeeds on her, um, on her on shake. So she points her gun at you. She has two wounds. She can take three. Um, so she's not dead. Um, so as you go to do that, she's going to shoot at you as you're, as you're approaching her. Um, I'm not, uh, kind of broken for the quit file.
00:53:58
Speaker
No, just did a jammed on that on that first one, you know, but but yeah, you know, just maybe maybe she spun the spun the chamber a little too many times and she fired a blank. It happens. She got a four on her wild die, so that is a hit and she's going to do her pistol arrow damage.
00:54:20
Speaker
Not a whole lot. It's only six. I don't think that does much to you there. To you, Maverick. No, no matter if it's 11. Yeah. So it just kind of like clinks off your boots and she's like, ah, fuck. And that's that's what she's. And she's just goes to start clicking. She's like, fuck, I thought I had more bullets in here. Shit. And then she sees like one more kind of like in the chamber and she like goes to point at herself.
00:54:48
Speaker
I jump, I jump. You jump? Okay, she watches you jump as she shoots the gun. You know what? I'm sorry. What do you do? I jump away from the priest. I probably push off him a little bit on accident as I'm jumping away. So sorry. And I tried to grab her gun holding hand. All right, why don't you go ahead and do an athletics role? Athletics? Yeah. Seven.
00:55:15
Speaker
That's a seven. Yeah, she goes to do it and like just you kind of see like bullet time that it slows down and you kind of jump and yeah, cut her time and you cut her wrist right off. And so she's just laying there with like blood pouring out of her left shoulder. And she's like in her gun has been like, bapped away after you do and she goes, Jesus Christ, let me go down.
00:55:39
Speaker
Jesus smite me like you smote my horse. And she's just like yelling out profanities as Mavericks like slapping, you know, these cuffs on her. And she's like, Oh, God, my shoulder. Oh, fuck. What do you do?
00:56:03
Speaker
Good question. Is she starting pecking at the priest? Is that the bird of the angels? No, that's not a bird. Okay, it's filthy. Get it out of my church. How about that, Kata? You bring her to the cart and I bring the priest to the doctor.
00:56:27
Speaker
I know you're very experienced much older than me, but I don't know if we should even move that fella. What do you mean? He pretty hurt. I'll say you guys don't have a cart. Ren has the cart.
00:56:46
Speaker
I also ring you hear gunshots from the church. I was gonna ask, do I hear the gunshots? Yeah, as you're as you're coming out of bowls bowls bowls with your bag of bowls and things. You hear like people like getting all crazy. And you see the sheriff's kind of running out at this point, like when the gunshots are fired. And he's like, it's like, oh, hell, rooting to and Judy's at it again.
00:57:14
Speaker
Well, I think I'll try to do something like first aid to the priest. What kind of first aid is that that you can do? I don't know how advanced that would be in the Wild West, but... Do you have a first aid skill? I don't think you do. I do not. I would still want to try. Well, that would be an unskilled role. Go ahead, sure. Tell me what you're doing.
00:57:42
Speaker
One arc gets maybe some piece of cloth and try to burn it as wound. Try to essentially just tie his arm back together. Okay, sure. Go ahead. It'd be an unskilled roll. It stops bleeding. It'd be an unskilled roll, but you can certainly do it. Let's see what you get. Maybe you'll get lucky.
00:58:06
Speaker
Well, that's a three and a minus one. Um, so that is not enough, um, to remotely have any sort of success with that. So like you go and tie it on, like you're doing it. Do you want to use a Benny? All right, go ahead and use a Benny. Good. As I do there for among other things, maybe you'll get lucky. Do you want to use your last Benny or do you want to hold on to that bad boy? Oh,
00:58:36
Speaker
Hey Kata, can you help me with this one? Keep yourself still there, Judy. Do you want to also roll first aid? There is, but you can do it through different skills. So I'm just saying he could also roll first aid to help you, depending on what kind of success he gets, he can bump up your circle. Typically those happen usually before the roll, but you can also do it after, it's fine. Could I help with survival? In what way?
00:59:07
Speaker
Um, instead of, since I don't know, no doctrines, but I probably, I probably have like, you know, had to like do some on the, on the road fixes and things and stuff. And I've probably maybe seen somebody do something out in the wilderness somewhere, you know, I don't know.
00:59:21
Speaker
Uh, well, what would that look like in the fiction? How are you? What are you doing? Uh, I would say, oh, no, Maverick, I would, uh, grab the thing and abandoned and try and tie it a little better around his, uh, his wound or something, or like kind of more like that. It was more cloth. Sure. Why not? Yeah, sure. If you have a normal success, it's a plus one and a ACE is a plus two. Anybody got any, any Moss I need to survival this, any grasses, perhaps.
00:59:51
Speaker
I got a seven. Nice. It's a seven. That's a plus one. That's a standard success for the very shitty tourniquet that you were trying to tie on to. He's just got a bunch of, we just balled up his own robe up in his armpit and we wrapped it around. It's very, very makeshift. You find his hidden stash of whiskey and pour it on there or something.
01:00:17
Speaker
like his rovers. I was like, no, no, no, I was saving that for. Drink a little father, drink a little. At this point, I'd say that like, did you want to write up towards the church?
01:00:34
Speaker
Yeah, when I hear the gunshots, I'll put the bowl in my stash and untie a bitey and we'll head up there and try to avoid people as they're running out.
01:00:51
Speaker
Yeah, you see like a horde of horses and people kind of running down from the hill. You see the sheriff like he sees them all coming out and if you're like, Oh, some heroes took down Judy and then the sheriff's like, Oh, well, my job's done and he kind of walks back into his office.
01:01:08
Speaker
So like you're going towards the church. Everybody else runs away from the church and as you kind of get up there you see I'd say you probably got there just as you see like in the back of the church like cutter there's a woman bleeding with her arms tied behind her back and then there's like cutter and and Madly shoving like his robes into his wound
01:01:31
Speaker
You're showing my unmentionables. Sorry, Father. Just gotta get this done. And he just passes out from all the pain. His eyes rolled into the bag of his head and he just passes out. Natural. Do you think he's still alive? Check bag. Check cutter. Did you get shot at least? At least? No, I didn't. Okay, good. Just making sure. You're fine. Just a precipice if it hurt.
01:02:01
Speaker
Oh, okay. All right. Do you guys need some help? Yeah, do you perchance have any like medical knowledge? I mean, a little bit. From what I learned from Dr. Punkenstein, you know, bits and pieces here and there. That's cool. Maybe you can turn him into a sidewalk. Oh, maybe he's gonna get so excited with all these people coming to him.
01:02:31
Speaker
All right, what do you guys need me to do over here? And she'll just stand there with her hands on her hips. What do you want? You hear Judy shout out. She says, how about just putting a bullet in my brain? Judy, enough of that. Not doing that today. You could try to keep the priest alive. I'll take Judy and bring her into the wagon. All right. You promised you weren't going to take me in.
01:03:01
Speaker
Well, I gave you the option to have the easier hardware, but you didn't want to play along. Well, who the fuck are you? My name's Merrick. Yeah, I don't care what your name is. I mean, who are you? I didn't say the question wasn't, what's your name? I said, who are you? I'm Merrick. She looks that she looks over cutter. Who are you? Are you a man? Is this what you call being a man taking down a woman who's just trying to go out in a blaze of glory?
01:03:31
Speaker
No, man. No? And who's this? Who's this rusty looking woman? Is she your? Actually, I don't know what you are. I've never seen anything like you before. What is this? My arm.
01:03:53
Speaker
There's no having a conversation with y'all. Just let me die already. You know, just let me bleed for like another 15 minutes. It'll probably take it out itself through lead poisoning. Judy, is there a doctor in this damn town? Uh, no, there's one in Dudad. Well, looks like the father ain't gonna make it in. Well, let me see if I can do something and...
01:04:16
Speaker
She's going to look through her little pouch and see if she's got a little something to do her take with. Let's see, I got a little bit of this special blend. Do you want some of this? Do you want some of this? She'll take the joint that she already has and her little cigarette stick thing and
01:04:35
Speaker
she like hands it to the priest and just just trust me just trust me you gotta hand it you gotta hand it to him and he's like knock the fuck out he passed out just drooling on the floor fuck it she puts it back in her mouth and she continues like riding through her shit do you have a first aid skill skill
01:04:59
Speaker
Uh, no, but I have survival or repairs, so I could do it either way. I don't know if repair's gonna work. You never know. You know, I feel like whatever survival role that y'all are gonna do, Cutter's already been trying it. Unless you got more moss you gotta shove in there. She's got weird shit in her pack, I'm just saying.
01:05:24
Speaker
All right, well, what would you think? After this role, it'll be survival will be to like, keep yourself alive long enough not to mend a wound. You'll need a first aid skill y'all. But like, you can go ahead and do a survival. That's what I was trying to do was just keep it good for now.
01:05:43
Speaker
Yeah, like it's just barely enough to hold them together, but this ain't curing nothing. It's just holding them together. So yeah, so whatever goodies you pull out of your pouch, I guess, you know, you could... At least something to get them to do, Dad.
01:06:02
Speaker
Yeah. Well, you'll probably need something to clean out the wound that you're currently just like barely holding together with a piece of his rope because he's clearly, you know, you know, lead poisoning typically kills people once you get shot. It's usually the infection that kills you if you don't get hit in the heart of the brain. This is just a question. When do you only get lead poisoning if the bullet gets stuck in you?
01:06:29
Speaker
Uh, that might be true in some regards, yes, but like there's still remnants against left behind and he just got hot lead put into his body. Um, so yeah, I mean that can get infected very quickly if it's not taken care of, even if it's not lead poisoning. No, usually it's infections that kill people. Yeah. Especially in these days. This guy into the wagon and get him to do that guy's a cutter. So we're gonna.
01:06:54
Speaker
I know it might take a bit, but we might have to find some way to put him on a sort of plank or something to transport him. Maybe? We could take a table or something. Is there a fireplace in this place, Adam? A fireplace? Yeah.
01:07:14
Speaker
Um, so why not? No, this is an accident of fire plates. I'm going to sell back. I say I'll be right back. I go hunting around for an X. Okay. You find the wood chopping log. There's a big old ax out there. I pull my shoulder a little bit.
01:07:33
Speaker
Yeah. I go by stock back inside and I just start hacking up a pew. God, I can't tell you what time I've hacked a pew in my life. And then I slide a length of board over from the seat of the pew so we can slide them onto. Yeah, perfect.
01:07:51
Speaker
He's like kind of fading in unconscious. He goes, Jesus, take the reins. Don't give up that brains yet, Padre. Maverick, he grabbed his feet and me and Ren, we should probably grab his shoulders and be real careful with his upper body here. See Judy, she rolls over. She's like trying to get up onto her knees and she's like, y'all are really going to let that pedophile live.
01:08:15
Speaker
When I could've taken him out and myself. Two bad people out of once. You really gonna let him live? Huh? Is that what you're gonna do? I was trying to do this world of service taking myself out and him. Well, Judy, I can't- So far we are going to try and keep him alive, yeah. Why? He doesn't deserve it. He's a bad man. He's a bad man. He's a terrible man. He's a terrible man. What? That may be true that he might be a bad man, but that's not for you to judge there, Judy. No, is it?
01:08:45
Speaker
What are y'all doing to me? Huh? What makes you any better is you can judge me, but I can't judge and execute him. No, sure. It is like a piece of paper that says like bounty on 2D. Let's just no one knows about his crimes. I do. Well, well, I think someone to we'll get someone to come in and figure that out. But but for now, we'll we'll just get the judge in the sheriff in here first.
01:09:16
Speaker
I hate y'all. I hate y'all. I swear to God, I'll damn you every day I'm alive. And if they don't give me the rope, if they don't give me the rope, I'll be coming for you. That's fine with me. Yeah. You can try it. Oh, I will. You're letting the pedophile leave. They're just gonna let him right the fuck back out. You know, they're gonna. He's a man of the cloth. No one's gonna think he's capable of any evil doing. You'd be surprised.
01:09:45
Speaker
Oh yeah, I think that I would be very surprised if they did anything. Well, Judy, here's the thing. He's got, what is it, five, six miles back to doodad? Maybe God will decide he ain't worthy of making it. We can only hope.
01:10:05
Speaker
Yeah, we can only hope. Alright, let's load him a hill up. Meanwhile, she's bleeding like everywhere. Just fucking oozing blood out of her all over the place. You guys have been patching up the priest and she's just laying in a puddle of room blood. Don't suppose you got any of that ganja for me? Nope.
01:10:25
Speaker
Excellent, I guess I guess I'll go I'm she's probably gonna fucking try and bite me don't know Don't go get all bitey. I'm gonna try me. Let me freaking me. Let me shoves around Let me wrap you around with some of the leftover priest robes here. Yeah, go ahead and do that. Squeeze it real good. Oh Yeah, yeah The pain makes me feel good just keep that up She's interesting
01:10:58
Speaker
So yeah, you you escort her out she kind of hobbles a bit as you're as you're getting her up You have the priest on a little board. You're I guess loading them on to the back of your wagon. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Okay, very carefully
01:11:16
Speaker
And then, yeah, so you guys take them out as you guys are heading back out. Are you guys stopping anywhere else in town, by the way? Yeah. I'd say we should go back to do that as fast as possible. OK. I'm probably going to stop at the bar so we can get some
01:11:35
Speaker
I guess I don't know how much a little bottle of hooch would be. I'll get some sort of- Like a buck fifty. Some sort of alcohol. Either a dollar, I try to do change. Can I do change my money? I don't think I can do change. You can just do a dollar, it's fine. So yeah, you get yourself a bottle of hooch on the way in and as you order up.
01:11:57
Speaker
You use the bartenders like oh man. I heard that I heard the priest got shot y'all gotta get him to the doctor One of the people said that it was a gunfight up there Yeah, there was and that's what we're doing that's why I need to whisk him trying to trying to pour it into his wound Well take him to the doctor. What do you mean put into his wound?
01:12:15
Speaker
We've got to make it there first, fella. What are you talking about? Just the doctors here in town. Just take them over. Somebody told us there wasn't one. Who told you? We'd be crazy to have a doctor here. I yelled at somebody. They said no or something. I can't remember. Somebody said it. People cry at weird things under duress. Guys, hold on. Hold on, David. There's a doctor in town. These people don't know what the hell they're talking about. Judy's like, no, no, there's nope, nope. Got to go all the way to do that for a doctor.
01:12:49
Speaker
Then you you see the doctor stands up from a table I heard the shooting but I thought it was probably fine Already worse he's sitting who's around and what's he doing? What's going on?
01:13:10
Speaker
Uh, he was just playing poker? Alright, I'm gonna go over and I'm gonna smack his hand to the cards out of his hand. Your hand's over! And I grab him by the scarf of his shirt and I pull him out. Come on, you damn son of a bitch! I'm gonna hand me you scoundrel! Now you're gonna fix the priest, goddamn it, instead of sitting around playing poker! Oh, has the priest heard again? Yeah, he's near death, come on! Oh, last time he fell off his horse. Now why is he near death? Uh, he got shot. What? What?
01:13:38
Speaker
Who would shoot him? Who shot him? It was a friendly fire situation in a heated moment, I suppose. But it needs help. Who do we got to put the bounty on that would shoot a priest? You can discuss that with the fellow outside. Let's just get going. Well, all right. And you see a crowd of people runs out. And he comes up and he says, aw, damn it. Not again.
01:14:06
Speaker
uh he kind of he sees that you guys have him tied to a board and says all right this way and he guides you guys across the street to his little little shack where he works on people um he puts on his bloody apron yes yeah yeah yeah he's like you know it's a butcher shop during the day but you know as i guess a little night time was the doctor's office so
01:14:30
Speaker
uh and he tips us out to Judy ma'am oh she's gonna need some help too but she can probably last a little while longer than a priest and she shows take your time doc take your time
01:14:44
Speaker
I'm going to go out one way or another on my own accord. Come on, Judy. God damn it. Get her off the leg and bring her to the doctor's office, too. And he says, well, I'm only one doctor. I can't take care of them both at the same time. Just maybe... That's fine. That's fine. We'll just have her sit there. Why is she tied up? Crime. She's a criminal. Is she the one who shot the priest? She wanted to.
01:15:11
Speaker
That's not the question I asked you, mister. Did she the one that shot the priest? No. Expound.
01:15:32
Speaker
There was bullets flying this way that way who can say which bullet went where who really knows You see his eyes get wide and he grabs his phone and picks picks up the receiver and starts dialing He says yeah sheriff. Can you come over to my office real quick? And then he hangs up the phone and then like just within moments like the sheriff's like knocking on the door
01:15:55
Speaker
Um, and, uh, he opens the door and he's like, now what in the hell was going on here? It's so important. And then you hear the doctor say, I say, I think one of these two gentlemen shot the priest. Me safe, the priest.
01:16:10
Speaker
Oh, is that what you did? Says the sheriff. He's pulling out his gun, he has a rope. He's like, all right, I'm going to need y'all to... Hey, relax. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is my town. You are not going to tell me how to relax, sir.
01:16:26
Speaker
And you hear like Judy, she's cackling. She's cackling real loud, like in the corner where you have her sat. Yeah, kill him, Sheriff. Kill him. You're like, Judy, here's a good woman. She just had some hard times. And you're going to sit here, and you're going to shoot her, and then shoot our priest? What are y'all some sort of, I don't even know, what are y'all, bandits?
01:16:48
Speaker
It got out of hand and my friend here, the bounty hunter, Maverick, he had to take a duty shot and the priest got caught up in the crossfire. It's unfortunate. She wanted to kill the guy and shoot him in the head. Now, who are you, sir, to come into my jurisdiction and take the law into your own hands and go after Judy? She's protected here. You can make that out of the people over and do that. They go with me a bounty to get Judy.
01:17:17
Speaker
What that don't mean, that you can just take the law into your hands, you can't? That doesn't give you a license to kill. I didn't take the law in my hands, I took the law from their hands. Which, okay, if it's in their hands and you take it into your hands, thus, you've taken the law into your own hands, mister. Yeah, but I'm not acting on my own accord.
01:17:37
Speaker
I mean, is there a puppet?
Confrontation with Sheriff
01:17:40
Speaker
Where are your strings at, mister? I'm trying to see who it is that's controlling you up there. He's got a badge, ain't that? What's the point of him having a badge? He's supposed to be an arbiter of law, ain't he? Does it say sheriff on it? Does it, Maverick? No, not really. Well, then no, that don't make you part of any law, especially in this jurisdiction. If Dudak got to deal with you, then that's fine and dandy for them.
01:18:05
Speaker
But here in Janssen, I'm the law, and you don't get to take that decision for yourself, mister. So now we gotta sit here and make sure we can work on Judy so she don't perish of infection while we're working on the priest that you also seem to have shot. And who the hell is this woman? Well, you got a weird way of saving people, mister. Who's your weird metal friend? Well, there's lots of reason of it. She's smelling a ganja.
01:18:35
Speaker
I don't know what that is. And that ain't illegal here, but I don't like that I'm smelling it. And I'd appreciate it if the, if the, ma'am, would you mind waiting outside while I handle my business? Or unless you're with these ruffians. I am with these ruffians. Thank you very much. I am one of the, um, the wonderful ruffians. And we are friends.
01:18:56
Speaker
Well I'm gonna have to ask y'all to come with me to the to the station because I just can't be letting y'all running around doing the things you think you're allowed to do especially when it comes to the law. That's alright. I didn't do anything excuse me I got there after
01:19:17
Speaker
Well, that's true. I can confirm that I did see you riding towards it after the guns were shot, but these two ignoramuses are gonna come with me, and we're gonna have a little talk at the station. Sheriff, where were you when a gunfight was going on? I was on my way up.
01:19:36
Speaker
I didn't see you. Up there. When the blood was running and the priest was on the ground dying, I didn't see you or this doctor up there. Well, everybody called up that it was Root and Toot and Judy. I just assumed she was doing her thing. It's ain't the first time that she's gone crazy in a church. You don't think that's a problem? No one's ever gotten killed while Root and Toot and Judy was here. Then who put a bunch on her? It wasn't us. Probably somebody out and doodad probably got beefed. They don't understand her like we do.
01:20:06
Speaker
Well, you could ask any of them folks that ran out of that church. She was very, very elaborate on her plans of... Why don't you go and ask the local townspeople yourself? Hey, you know what? I'll come with you, and we'll go and talk to each and every member of this good community, and they'll all tell you that rootin' tootin' Judy ain't never heard a fly. All right. Well, that may be, but all I can say is we were there when there was guns pointing and waving.
01:20:36
Speaker
I didn't see how nor hair you or anybody else. He cocks back the hammer on his on his gun and he kind of kind of has it at his hip pointed up at you cutter and he says listen mister don't make me take a shot at you here in the doctor's office okay just come on down and we'll have a conversation we'll just have you wait and cool off in a cell for a couple hours then we'll have a conversation when you're a little bit more reasonable don't you think what do you think
01:21:06
Speaker
I think it's fine. We can talk this out. Nobody needs to get shot.
01:21:12
Speaker
I agree, Mr. So why don't you go ahead and put your arms behind your back. And I'll just do a little bind in here just to make sure ain't no craziness going on. And you too, Mr. Beard. And we'll just, by the way, you'd look a lot better if you cut that down a bit, by the way. I bet you do. It's terrible to look at, Mr. And why don't we just, I'm just going to bind you for my safety and for yours.
01:21:41
Speaker
And then I'll take you over to the office. Y'all can sit in a cell for a bit and we'll talk with bars between us. That way no one gets hurt.
Negotiations and Surrender
01:21:48
Speaker
What do you say? I won't say it's necessary with the bars and everything because you're not on my list, on my border list, so go on to her team.
01:21:58
Speaker
and you hear like another knock at the door and it opens up and you see the couple sheriff's deputies are there and they you hear one of them shouts is like is there a problem here sheriff and you hear him shout he goes well it seems like that these guys are fit and have one so you might want to get your guns ready boys what do you do we ain't fixing to have no problem sheriff i'm just
01:22:25
Speaker
also not fixing to be getting all tied up and getting locked in a cell for an unknown amount of time at your whim.
01:22:32
Speaker
But the doctor's like, they shot the priest. He's not looking too good, Sheriff. And he's doing his best over there. You see the priest is going into shock. And you also notice that Judy over in the corner, she's starting to sweat pretty badly because no one has really patched her that well. And she has this kind of shit-eating grin on her face while she's sitting there, kind of like, fading in and out of consciousness in the corner.
01:22:58
Speaker
And the sheriff looks up at you guys and he says, listen, if Judy don't make it and our priests don't make it, y'all ain't making it. You will be, you will be strung up. That's murder of a godly official and of one of the most beloved people here in Jensen. So it's best you come with me right now. I was testing my shot, but I'm ready to talk to you.
01:23:26
Speaker
We're excellent. Go ahead and put your arms behind your back, Dan. How about we meet each other halfway? You ain't tying us up. We'll walk over there. You can walk behind us and keep an eye on us. We'll all go over there, peaceably, together, and it'll be fine. Yeah. I don't... Take my gun.
01:23:46
Speaker
Well, you know what? How about that? Y'all surrender your blades, your guns, the sheriff's deputies will collect them from you, and then we can have a conversation, and then sure, you'll still be locked up, but I won't bind your hands, but I want everything. That's fine. I don't have much.
01:24:03
Speaker
Where's Ishii, by the way? Probably somewhere around me. Okay. Yeah, because I think that they have probably pieced together by now that the bird is yours. And then the sheriff's deputy is like, and what about his pet, sir? And then the sheriff's like, well, if it makes a move, put it down like you would any other animal that seems to be rabid. And no, no need to do anything to my Ishii.
01:24:29
Speaker
I don't know what an Ishi is, sir, but, um, I think- Just give her a couple of seeds or something and she'll be fine. No, I think one of my boys is just gonna shoot it if it makes a move, okay? So if it doesn't pertain to be a good little bird statue on her shoulder there, the moment it starts moving, that's when it's gonna turn into, you know, feelings for a pillow. Ishi, come here and sit on my shoulder.
01:24:56
Speaker
And it does the best statue impression you've ever seen That's no hurting my bird All right, ma'am respectfully if you're with these boys I gotta say that either you must also surrender your weapons or you wait here while we escort them over to Over to the the jail cells because I can't trust that you ain't gonna try to do anything crazy while we're doing that. I
01:25:22
Speaker
Oh, you don't have to worry about me. I'll, I'll wait with my horse and, and the carriage and we'll wait for you guys. Oh, is that your horse has been trying to nip at people as they pass? Oh yeah. Awfully body, isn't he?
01:25:40
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's why his name is Bidy. He's got his own little alarm system and shit basically with his teeth. He just like pinches the bridge of his nose. He's like, of course it is. Of course that's what, of course. All right, well.
01:25:59
Speaker
All right, well, boys, surrender your weapons, then. And the sheriff's deputies come in, too, and they approach you guys, and they put their arms out with one gun drawn. And they're like, all right, nice and easy, fellas. Do you surrender your weapons? All of them? I hold my left hand up and pull my pistol out of my holster and hold it out to him with my four finger and thumb on the handle.
01:26:21
Speaker
All right, yeah, he takes it and, you know, kind of tucks it in his belt behind him. And I unsnap my knife for my belt on his little holster. And he says, All right, be honest. Does your boy over here have a blade? I only have my rifle.
Imprisonment and False Reports
01:26:39
Speaker
Is that all that you have for real? It's just a rifle. You see the sheriff's deputy approaches. He's like, All right, mister, nice and easy. Can you have it for now?
01:26:50
Speaker
Alright, and they kind of they step out and the sheriff opens the door and he says alright nice and easy boys Out you go. Don't make any runs for it. I swear to God will kill you in cold blood and we'll call it justified Hey, nobody's running just I don't know how long you're keeping us, but can you can you maybe kindly mind to our horses get them to the stables be fed they Right over there. Hey, we ain't nothing with we ain't down with animal cruelty around here unless we need to we'll take care of the horses and
01:27:17
Speaker
Don't worry, Cutter. I got him. I'll take care of the horses. Oh, yeah. I forgot when you managed to keep yourself out of the jail. Thanks. As you said before, she's like, I don't want to go back there. I wanted to go shopping, and you guys got in trouble. This is what happens when you go away from me, apparently. So I got to stay on your asses, apparently. Apparently.
01:27:41
Speaker
Um, so the, uh, the sheriff's deputies and the sheriff escort you guys to the, to the police station. And, um, uh, they put what there's two cells that are open. There's three cells total. Uh, there's two cells that they put you guys in. They, they leave an open space between you, um, for the, for the middle cell. Uh, and you see those like another guy who's like napping on like a little caught in there. Um, and they, they put you in one lock it up. They put, uh, they put a cutter in for in the first one. They put Maverick in the third one. Um, and they're like,
01:28:12
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that bird being in here, but, uh, you know, it's probably better behind bars and, you know, outside doing whatever bird stuff it wants to do. So, um, they, they, they send the bird in with you. Um, and they lock it up behind you. And, um, the sheriff says, now I want y'all to just take a couple of days, maybe even a couple of weeks and really think about what, what we're, you know, what's going on. Okay.
01:28:38
Speaker
And then we'll have a little chat with the locals and see how we want to handle this business. But in the meantime, I can't talk to you while you're all riled up. So I'm just going to, you know, I'm just going to get a little bit of shut eye. And then you guys just think about what you did. All right. I'm going to try and rouse up. No, you're really yelling. You're really starting to hurt my ears, mister. Why don't you just calm down a bit? Sir, please. You are raising your voice.
01:29:10
Speaker
Maybe you just have such good ears. He yells over to his deputies like, you hear him, Tucker? Oh, yeah, he's really hurting. He's getting really rowdy. You better document that, that he's being unruly as a prisoner. And you see the sheriff's like, well, I mean, you said it. And he starts kind of pinning something down on a piece of paper. And then you see one of the other sheriff's deputies run up and just slugs the other one in the face.
01:29:37
Speaker
And he says, oh man, looks like he left quite a mark on you and he was fighting his way into the, you know, fighting his way from trying to get away from
Judy's Condition and Impending Consequences
01:29:44
Speaker
you. So you better mark that down too. And he goes, oh, and like the other one kind of recovers. He's holding onto his eyes and like a little bit of blood's coming down like this. I just tried to cut and say, I don't think I like this town.
01:29:55
Speaker
I'm just sitting there with my arms crossed very annoyed. And he's just pinning some things. You see that the doctor kind of comes into the office with you guys. And he's got Judy kind of like leaning on him, kind of, you know, profusely sweating, still bleeding. And he says, well, I don't think she's going to make it, guys. So I don't think these fellas are going to make it either.
01:31:26
Speaker
You feel good already?