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Beginning A New Life
79 Plays5 years ago
"To new beginnings" is a bit of an eye-roll toast, but there's an interesting discussion to have when approaching this with curiosity. I have now been out of the military longer than I was in, and in this episode share some thoughts and experiences with beginning a new life. K and I discuss how each of us has begun anew, what it means, some challenges with expectations, and lessons learned.
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Transcript
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello.
Introduction and Setting the Tone
00:00:03
Speaker
Hello. How's it going? Good. Are we going Monday? It is Monday. We're proactive. Yeah. Um, let me just make sure that it's all set up. Okay. All right. So we're,
00:00:23
Speaker
Last week was heavy, not heavy. Just passionate. It was real. I think just ran away with the podcast. I guess I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to, no, I'm not trying to run away with this one. And I'm also not trying to have what I said last week, not stand on its own by like justifying or rationalizing or explaining anything. But I do want to be clear about something.
Respecting Professional Boundaries
00:00:53
Speaker
Is this part two? No. I just think that there's a respect for scope of service and scope of practice. And if we don't honor that, then we can do a lot of damage. However, even though a topic might be outside of your scope of service or scope of practice,
00:01:17
Speaker
You could still become a student of it and positively influence and encourage others around you to join you on the journey. And in many ways, that's kind of what this is. Um, so I just want to be clear it's, it's, there's not this like protective thing of like, well, you know, tab protector or stuff like that, where, you know, the gatekeepers and there's a lot of that in the fitness industry.
00:01:41
Speaker
Yeah, I think it was clear that you said nobody owns the space on any of those things, but scope of practice does matter. Otherwise, what are
Casual Reflections and Personal Stories
00:01:51
Speaker
we all doing? So we thought we would have a little bit more casual, perhaps, a little personal chat this week.
00:02:03
Speaker
And we're kind of going back and forth about what we wanted to talk about that was light, but also maybe enjoyable to listen to. And I don't know, I feel like, I feel like we don't really do the surface level stuff all that well. Well, I think sometimes it does come from a place of, like we keep saying, us talking about like our personal stuff,
00:02:31
Speaker
Is that really like, that's not really helpful for the listener. Like that's not, like, okay, that's an
Embracing New Beginnings
00:02:37
Speaker
interesting thing. Unless you have some really crazy or interesting story, which sure, but other than that, then it's just listening to someone tell a narration. So we thought we would though use some of our personal experience, um, today to, to kind of talk about new beginnings. We've both had a lot of new beginnings.
00:02:59
Speaker
which is kind of interesting. And when you said that, when you brought that topic up, I think there's obviously a lot of places it can go. And I think when you started talking about what you were thinking about, it was very different from what I was thinking. What were you thinking? Yeah, I was just thinking like,
00:03:17
Speaker
I do feel there are people that maybe look at opening a business, let's say. It's like, oh, like I couldn't, like that's, wow, like you started something new from zero, from nothing. Like that's scary, like how do you do that, that kind of thing? And sort of demystifying some of that in a way, like starting,
00:03:41
Speaker
starting something from scratch, but you were also thinking about it in terms of like starting a new life in many ways, like a new endeavor. Yeah. And I don't think there, there's definitely overlap there, but I think there's overlap. I think where I was approaching it from, and I was just kind of thinking, okay, what's kind of current and relevant,
00:04:06
Speaker
And I've been out of the army now longer than I was in. And that's like a big thing. There's, that's kind of a, yeah, I mean, that's kind of a big thing, you know, because quite literally it was starting a new life again. Going into the army was essentially a new life.
00:04:32
Speaker
And then getting out it was like this feels and it and sometimes it still feels like sure an entire like a new life So that's kind of where I was kind of looking at like, okay. Well, I know there's people people come to between the years they do events because they're looking for something and
00:04:55
Speaker
They're looking to find something new within themselves that they can include in their life. There is a lot of, maybe new beginning isn't the right thing, but another chapter, another phase. They're looking- What do you mean that people come because they're kind of, I don't want to use this word, but like bored with what they're doing?
Constraints of Relationships and Professions
00:05:14
Speaker
Or you mean they do it in concert with something new happening? No, I think some people are bored. I know for a fact some people are bored and they're like, you know, there's just gotta be more than this.
00:05:23
Speaker
Which is crazy. Like if you do look at just for a second, like when you look at our lives and how many new beginnings we've had, there are other people who have like the same life forever. And again, like not right or wrong, it's just amazing how like some people are
00:05:42
Speaker
seeking that, like changing things up. Yeah. I mean, I guess that's the thing. It's like the question that I would then say that if I'm, you know, this is the question that I've asked myself. How do you, what do you do and how do you start a new life when you're in your 30s, like a brand new life when you're in your 30s? Do you think there were a lot of people are in that position other than the veteran space?
00:06:06
Speaker
Although, I mean, I think there's a lot of people when you even look at marriages, there's a lot of people that don't, who maybe, I don't want to use the word should, but who would like to start a new life. Relationships and professions are the biggest ball and chains that I experience with clients. Yeah. On the external side.
00:06:29
Speaker
But people don't take that leap to change because they're afraid. And that doesn't mean necessarily divorce, and it doesn't mean a marriage or anything. It could be a toxic relationship with somebody else, friend, family, co-worker, blah, blah, blah. And then profession, thinking I'm spending all of my emotional, mental, physical energy
00:06:54
Speaker
on something in an environment that provides me very little joy and satisfaction. But provides stability, which is
Defining Success and Identity in New Beginnings
00:07:01
Speaker
where people struggle. Sure. So that's where I think then if you're looking at a new beginning, you better get clear with what success is.
00:07:10
Speaker
and looking to find that. And that's where, it doesn't mean you're gonna slash and burn your entire life. Okay, the veteran population definitely has this reality coming, hopefully. The hope is that you get a chance to start a new life.
00:07:31
Speaker
That's really like if you don't get that chance, you know, it's not a good thing so that's sort of inevitable and so looking at For whatever this new life is and if and if you're outside of the veteran space, of course, it could be I mean
00:07:50
Speaker
a parent whose son or daughter leaves the house. It could be a 20-year career person who just said, hey, we've got a robot to do your job now. Bye-bye. It's like, well, what the fuck? Now what?
00:08:04
Speaker
Right, people who don't get to make that choice, it's made for them. Right. And so looking at, all right, what does success look like? And success in a previous life could have been financial stability, financial fitness, right on, like without a doubt, providing a lot of professional athletes. Their goal is to provide generational wealth.
00:08:27
Speaker
That's a major, major goal across a lot of, especially in the NFL. So with that, with perhaps one bucket of success accomplished, but then this kind of existential question of what the fuck is the meaning and purpose of my life moving forward? Well, let's chop that down into what does success look like now that you have this.
00:08:55
Speaker
Yeah. And I think that's the two main things there. Like if the question is whether you chose it or it shows you like starting a new two major pieces to like really dive into are, yeah, what, what does success in your life look like? Like, what do you want? And back to like, who
Internal Transformation and Self-awareness
00:09:16
Speaker
are you? Because when, I think that's obviously the thing we've talked about, especially when it's taken from you, if you're,
00:09:23
Speaker
You don't know who you are and it's wrapped up in that job and it's your job. That's where things, instead of it being an opportunity to start something new, it really feels just like, you know, you don't know what that even looks like. And I think that, yeah, I agree. And I think that you also don't have to have, it doesn't have to be, new doesn't mean elimination of old.
00:09:48
Speaker
like maybe in some ways it does but it doesn't mean that like you're going to quit your job and go from corporate to entrepreneur like it doesn't mean that it's an internal state a new beginning within you people who want to change we say this all the time but like
00:10:05
Speaker
do you actually want to change and if you don't at least like own it then but if you really do want to change that has to come within first you know and that's the thing where when it comes to this new beginning if we're looking at it as okay moving forward and it's not because it's no end of november and we're doing some new year's thing it's because people
00:10:33
Speaker
Generally engage with us because they want something new and in some ways it means a removal of something that's old but it's very much like an internal thing and Looking at of course who you are That's a that's a huge question
00:10:52
Speaker
Start asking yourself how you want to be and observing the different components and the different pieces of the pie that encompass who you are because you're very, very complex. And, you know, there are different elements of you. You do have different roles. There are different functions and, you know, things within you.
00:11:13
Speaker
Right. So something you were old, whatever we're calling it, old you that might've satisfied a couple of them, but you may have not tapped into some of the other roles. And that's like a concept you've been reading about lately, like the different roles of the person. So when people say like this part of me, like it's actually like a real thing. And I think that's probably where it's scary for people to make that leap. Like people want to change, but that territory, those new roles, it's so unknown to them that it is.
Living in the Present and Personal Growth
00:11:43
Speaker
It is scary, like who am I in this new role? And, you know, I think you're saying that about five years. I was kind of making a joke, but not really about like what the multiplier is on like, if you're in five years, how many years it actually takes you to like move on. And, you know, so like if someone was in for 20 years, you know, it might not, they might never fully move on, but it's not a
00:12:12
Speaker
None of these things, even if someone loses their job and it's a quick like, hey, you're done. You're out. That doesn't mean that the next day they're able to just flip a switch and, and no make the change. So, but that's where I think people get hung up because rationally it's like, well, this is new. This is what I'm doing. I chose this.
00:12:32
Speaker
but like it's not just that once you choose it in your mind, your whole body and everything goes along with it. It's a process. Yeah. Well, I think the part of the part of like the multiplier, you know, and I said to you before we clicked record, like I know, I know there's people out there. Do I personally know and have proof and have they told me no, but you'd interact with enough people and you observe enough people and you know what the deal is.
00:13:03
Speaker
There are people, especially in the veteran space, who were in from maybe let's say 18 to 22. They did a three, four year infantry gig, you know, got out maybe as a specialist, not under exactly the same types of, not the same conditions, but it was kind of like, they were just done, they were a kid. They basically went to college and graduated, except their college was in the military.
00:13:30
Speaker
Then they grow up and they connect to some things. They start to have, they start to recognize some of the value that was there all along, but was hidden. And all they saw was maybe a shitty squad leader who crushed them. But when in fact it was like, Hey man, clean your fucking room. You're living in a pig's die with pizza boxes and monster cans all over the place. Like, and that guy was an asshole because he was doing his job and trying to raise you essentially.
00:14:01
Speaker
there are people that spend the rest of their lives ruminating on a very small percentage of their life. Four years, five years, you could spend the rest of one year. I mean, that's kind of the stereotypical, like, you know, high school football player.
00:14:19
Speaker
and so i think that the glory days but yeah the glory days and it's like i missed it it's like yeah you know all this all this stuff of i wish i never got out and i've had those i've had those feelings for sure and well the problem is also when you look back everything there's a lot of nostalgia you don't remember i mean and that's true of many things i mean i think that's one of the hard things when people are faced with
00:14:44
Speaker
thinking of leaving like, okay, this relationship isn't healthy. I know it. What really sucks people back in is all the nostalgia, all the picture photo moments that aren't the everyday, but that's a real emotional tie. So, you know, I think that's where, you know, you've talked about it with the military or I've talked about it with working for CrossFit. Like you think about all the good times and
00:15:12
Speaker
You selectively forget that 90% of the time but I think that's not that and I think that's that is a major There's a psychological component to that where You go back and I and I and I will actually give myself credit for this where knowing that like you have to have the full spectrum you have to have the good and you have to have the bad and I think
00:15:39
Speaker
I think being an athlete actually taught me this all along. I never knew it. And it was like, you can make one good play or you could have one bad play, but like it's the, it's the sum effect of all of them, right? Or your seasons or your games and stuff. And it's like, it's so easy. It's so convenient. It provides a false sense of comfort and security and basically as a coping mechanism to say, man, it was awesome.
00:16:09
Speaker
And like, I'm sorry, anybody in the fucking military knows. Yeah, there were some awesome days, but like, don't you dare forget about the absolute dog shit days. And from how this applies to anybody,
00:16:25
Speaker
It's the same thing of recognizing the bad, the negative, the evil within you, as well as the beautiful, the joy, the love. It's all of it. Cause you're a, cause you're a human. And, um, you know, that's something that I think is, is important for people who are maybe on the cusp of a change or in the cusp of a new beginning and where what's pulling you back are those pictures, what's pulling you back are those sunny days. And not to say you're going to then focus on the bad days and say, going to go forward, but like.
Authenticity and Repressing the True Self
00:16:55
Speaker
Don't exclude any experience because you start cutting off parts of yourself literally you capital s self you're gonna do more damage than good and then you're never gonna be whole and you're never gonna move forward and You know that could be that's then you're just stuck in this
00:17:15
Speaker
constant loop where then, yeah, what's the purpose of, and where's the meaning? It's like finding purpose or answering the question, what's the meaning and purpose to something does not, is not found in the past. And if you're always looking at the past, that's, you're looking in the wrong place for meaning and purpose.
00:17:34
Speaker
It can contribute, but it's found in the present. It's found in the pursuit. And it's definitely not found in the future either. And that's true of people who go through their whole lives and they're like, you know, they get to whatever age and like, what the f... What is going on? I just squandered this. I was all to get to something and then what? Yeah. Yeah. So what else?
00:18:01
Speaker
Well, so this is a new beginning so the so it's funny that when you say that is like I think You know the gym is Like how do you feel like opening the gym between the ears? I mean that started a long time ago, but It really wasn't I feel like now it's like a new beginning like you spent five years in transition Like that's the other thing. It's not yeah, it's not like you just turn the page. There's like right there's like
00:18:29
Speaker
a lot of pages of like getting to the next real chapter. And, uh, you know, but I, but I think like, when I look at you or, and you're even like, when you talk about when you were really young, you know, there has been like this foundation of like really who you are and you've obviously learned a lot and you've gone through a lot of kind of a big evolution as a person, obviously. But you know, that,
00:18:59
Speaker
that work like is the really important thing to be able to then even in the challenging times stand up like this forward progress. So like for you between the years started six years ago as an idea but like only now I feel like this is like okay new beginning number whatever for you because you had to get through
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, between the years, the thought of it started when I was in the Q course. Yeah. And really it wasn't called between the years at the time, but it was, it was applied to the competitor program. Yes. We won't talk about that. But don't you think some of that, I mean, that did come from, that came from well before the military that came for you reading books as a weirdo five, six year old, like
00:19:48
Speaker
Go on. Go on. Go ahead. Don't pull anything. No, I just mean from a very young age, you've always been a deep thought. I mean, I'm serious. Like analyzing, you know, whatever introspective person. And so that
00:20:11
Speaker
Can be challenging. Yeah, I think your time in the military as you've said like you kind of turned those off Which I think was turned what off? Well, you were like when you had to you turned a lot of the switches off of like feeling Yeah, like even I don't think you turned off like introspection, but then it was like you got out Try to turn them all on again. Yeah, the thing was is like
00:20:35
Speaker
It's like trying to prevent it's like in the cartoons and they try to prevent like the geyser Like you can only keep it down for so long. Yeah, and so Yeah, the other thing though as a kid Yeah, I was definitely strange and some of the things introspective deep thinking, you know didn't really wasn't like this really extroverted kid and
00:21:02
Speaker
And you might look and be like, wow, yeah, like, you know, you were like, I was like, I would read a book about sound. I probably don't understand. I didn't understand 99% of the words, but I would like to look at the pictures and do this and do that. And I just want to be honest in that you could hear that and say like, yeah, like, oh, well, maybe you know this, some of this stuff or you, you know, it served you well in pursuits moving as you grew up because you had that.
00:21:31
Speaker
And while yes, but the other thing, and again, taking the good and the bad, I was also a very depressed kid. And that was something that I struggled with for my entire life to still struggle with it.
00:21:51
Speaker
And so I think one of the things when I look at like, well, why was training? Why was high, high level athletics? Why was special forces? What was it, you know, even in terms of like working for, you know, a big, you know, kind of good corporate firm, like why was it all of that? It wasn't for the accolade or the, um,
00:22:19
Speaker
Yeah. The recognition or just whatever that comes
Challenges of Self-awareness amidst Pressures
00:22:23
Speaker
with. Cause I could, I could give two shits about that. I think it's because it made me feel more alive. Like it made me, you know, like expectation pressure. Yeah, there was pressure. There was, and it got me out of that depressed state.
00:22:36
Speaker
to some sort of action. Yeah. And that's some of the stuff that certainly Julian and Richard over at StrongFit talk about when it comes to movement. And that's something that's been awesome. And so that's when I realized that was there all along. So some of that introspection, yes, it served whatever would come later.
00:23:05
Speaker
But would you say you know who you are? Like, did you do you always feel like you've known who you are? Yeah, I do. I mean, you're you're going deep. I always I felt that I knew who I was. I couldn't answer it. You know, it's a feeling. And I think that's the other thing. Like we ask questions and writing and we have this and that. Who are you? Doesn't mean you can write or articulate it.
00:23:30
Speaker
No and it helps to communicate with language and it helps to have words and language capture images because that's all words do they capture images and to formulate these things but when you know this is not a rational no this is a a feeling of knowing it but I felt like I could not be who I truly was as a kid. Right so you knew who you were but you weren't able to act on it.
00:23:59
Speaker
Yeah, like I was... You had to repress it. Yeah, I had to repress it. I had to justify it away. There was shame and embarrassment. There was like a taboo element to it in many ways. There was guilt. Yeah, there was some dark shit. Well, but now, I mean, what? It's not new to me. Yeah, I know.
00:24:27
Speaker
But, I mean, I think what my point in all that is, I don't know which is worse, people, I mean, I think my point in that was the most challenging time was when you, yes, when you repressed that stuff, either by way of when you were a little repressing it because you felt like you couldn't be that for whatever reason, or, for example, in the military, when you repressed it because you couldn't, you had to be focused on where you were and not allow all those feelings to be.
00:24:54
Speaker
But I think that's the danger with people who maybe steer away from new beginnings and things. And instead they just repress really who they are. And that's really common and sad. I mean, it truly is. I think a lot of people don't have that feeling or maybe they once had it, but they don't have that like innate feeling good and bad of like who they are. Like, you know, we talk about the entrepreneurial stuff and
00:25:22
Speaker
I guess like, you know, thinking back even for myself when I was young, like I always felt independent. I always felt like, sure, I can do that. Like whatever it was. Not to your point. Last week about like you have a dream and... Phil last week said on the podcast, there was a line that of course Olivia latched right onto it when she was listening. Something about like, the point was you can have a dream to be in the NFL. But the reality is you can dream all you want.
00:25:52
Speaker
There's certain things that are unrealistic. And yes, that was your point. I don't want that taken out of context. I'm just kidding. It was within context. Absolutely. It was just funny how you how you set it up. Yeah, I just I again, I just don't want that taken out of context. It was about that. There's certain things within you can people should have dreams. They should have hopes and dreams. I could say I
00:26:16
Speaker
want to be an Olympic swimmer and dream that and that's not going to happen. Right. But you could feel like an Olympic swimmer in the pool. Yeah. And that's the thing. It's just I might not go and compete in the Olympics. Probably not. Right. Not with your mechanics. Anyway.
00:26:34
Speaker
My point was within the scope of actually being able to do things, like within reason, that feeling of like, yes, I'm gonna do this, I'm a risk taker in that way, I can do it, I'm independent, and again, those come with good and bad things, but I've always known that regardless of the situation, the context, relationships, the gym, business, work,
00:27:03
Speaker
Mm-hmm But that doesn't just because you know who you are it certainly helps but it's not always either like a Well, that's also that's not the action right like you could feel that Like I know who I am like for example when I was a kid. I felt that I knew who I was Mm-hmm felt it But I wasn't I didn't allow myself. I didn't think I deserved it. I wasn't able to actually express it into action
Starting Anew with Small Steps
00:27:32
Speaker
30 years later, I'm not going to make up for it, but that's what this is now. This is me not repressing and stepping forward and being who I am and trying to share that. And again, that's
00:27:55
Speaker
not doesn't mean parties and balloons and high fives all the time because it's it's challenging and that's you know that's the thing but um yeah that's and i guess for people the the small steps in that action and that's we're not this podcast isn't about like quit your job and start something new or whatever it's just really like there are new beginnings in
00:28:19
Speaker
You can have new beginnings in many ways. It's not just your job or your relationship. Right. But looking at things as an opportunity and like asking yourself like, yeah, am I who who do I feel like I am and am I expressing that right now in my life? And that could be your relationship with your kids. It could be cooking. It could be it could be so many things, I think.
00:28:41
Speaker
You know, but looking at new beginnings, it could be Monday morning, you know, it doesn't, you could turn on a dime. You could turn on a dime, right? Fucking now. And I, and I think that, you know, to not, I'm not defending what I said last week about, you know, just reality is, you know, whatever, but like you can decide right now, you can press pause and say, I'm going to turn on a fucking dime and establish a new beginning.
00:29:04
Speaker
And it, and, and that doesn't mean that you're there, but making that decision within, and then you're going to find it in that first step and then the second and everything like that. And so, you know, I think that's the thing too, where.
00:29:22
Speaker
It is an internal thing. It is a choice. And it's one that you can make and you can decide. And frankly, like, stop thinking about it. Like, no. Like, know it, feel it, kind of, you know, be it. We get all fucked up when we start analyzing it. And of course, I get it. It's complicated because I'm all over-analyzed as a way to prevent myself from expressing.
00:29:49
Speaker
Well, because there's a risk profile, you know, there's a there's a that there's, you know, for example, the gym, it's in far, you know, it's a very small town, kind of off the beaten path. The demographics of this, all the reasons, not all the reasons. And I think what's we see a lot of people take that they decide they want to. And to your point, yeah, then they, they either take the first step, and then they just go right back. You know,
00:30:17
Speaker
Like that's really what's sad because then you're, yeah, it takes, it does. The first step is sometimes not the most challenging. You know, it's like the second, the third continuing to move forward. Um, yeah. Cause you know, that's any neutral, like even if something's silly, like a nutrition challenge, everybody signs up.
00:30:38
Speaker
Everybody's in. I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Week one. Oh, yeah, I'm crushing it. And then like, where'd everybody go? Even with like, I do think there's a lot of people who want to reach out, engage, maybe see what this gym's about. And it's not a judgment. It's just like, there is a lot of like, yeah, like, just uncertainty in it.
00:31:00
Speaker
There's fear, there's uncertainty. I know those are prevalent, especially when you start asking people to be honest. Some people haven't been honest in years, in decades, ever. And that doesn't mean that they're a bad person. There's perhaps a very real reason why they haven't been honest. And if you go back,
00:31:29
Speaker
Of course, this is like blindly just, you know, kind of talking, but you're surviving. You lie to survive. Right. I mean, and that's right now we've taught the survive versus thrive. Like that's obviously been like the theme. Yeah. And your body and here's the other thing, your body, and this isn't just like, woo shit. This is real stuff, physiologically, psychologically, neurologically.
00:31:57
Speaker
It goes back to the classic example of the garden hose or the snake. Your body lied to you. It wasn't a fucking snake. It was a garden hose. But you had all the reactions. You had all the reactions, you know. So that's the whole thing with like, yeah, the body obviously has
00:32:18
Speaker
and a wisdom we can't fathom. But it also has the job of protecting you. And if it means you're going to get it wrong, but you're going to be safe, quote unquote, in the meantime, you know, yeah, you better believe it's going to do that. The same thing. Here we go. You're driving. Of course, you don't text and drive, but if I'm texting and driving,
00:32:47
Speaker
You're driving, you're looking at your text, you're doing this, you're doing that. And then you see a red brake light ahead of you.
00:32:56
Speaker
you're slamming on the brakes and it's just like, it doesn't even, you're so far away from it, perhaps sometimes, but like what happened there? You didn't consciously think I'm going to get in an accident. If you looked up and paid attention, you would realize like, Oh, like I still have to slow down, not slam on the brakes. I'm going to get it. So when we psychologically lie to ourselves,
00:33:22
Speaker
Like it doesn't, I just, I guess I want to be. And by lying to yourself, you also mean like repress, ignore, turn off. Yeah. Convince yourself that like, no, no, no. Rationalize. I mean, that's the thing. Like there's a lot, there's different, it takes the form of different, it takes the form, the form is different. The essence is still like. Well, right. And there's, yeah, I was just thinking about numbers of examples, but.
00:33:51
Speaker
So that's where some of the journaling comes in. But there's people that still can't even really journal openly, honestly. I know. But the hope is. No, I know. I'm just saying. So some of those things, and I could see the point being that you were making, is that can seem very scary to someone.
Honesty and Tools for Personal Change
00:34:11
Speaker
Because it's kind of like when we talk about some of the athletes, and it happened to me as well. When you're training all the time, and your muscles are
00:34:21
Speaker
really like Over maybe overdeveloped or just firing all the time. There's Constant work like if you look at the games athletes Whatever you want to call that When they stop doing that shit's gonna unravel because right now it's just all like yeah, if nothing else changes right if they don't and and that was my case with my back kind of I stopped training as much and like the muscles weren't there to just be
00:34:50
Speaker
you know, squeezing everything together. And so it like reveals some of those weaknesses. But like, I think that's the same in this case, I mean, you're, you're sort of holding everything together, prying that picking, like letting down your guard can sound really scary to someone. So if I start journaling, and I start being honest, now, shit, now I'm looking at this and this and this, and that's where it can be really overwhelming for people. But at the same time, if someone is interested in starting to
00:35:21
Speaker
face that in a positive way can be like small steps to start doing that. It's not all at once where it's like, here we go. No. And that's where you control the depth to which you go. Yeah. And there are some people who, when they start journaling,
00:35:38
Speaker
You know, it's very very surface level and That's natural, you know Think about how often do you spend in true honest thought with yourself? For some for many because of life's demands and again, this is never a judgment against the character of somebody I Get it life is busy and you know, especially as a caretaker as a service providers, whatever it might be The pace sort of demands that you
00:36:07
Speaker
Shut yourself off first or you serve yourself last and you know, that's, that's, that's natural. That's common. That's super prevalent, especially when success is also the societal success, which demands the individual band and who they are. So you start journaling a little bit and at first it might just be describing a state of mood or a general atmospheric for the day.
00:36:34
Speaker
it's fucking honest awesome beautiful today was really sunny out and it felt really dark inside done that's it if that's honest and if that's your thing likewise Wow like it felt really good to blah blah blah you know hey being honest keep going though and that's the thing like years I mean
00:36:59
Speaker
It has to, it's something that is, it's constant. You don't water a plant once. Right. You have to keep watering it. And you know, that's the thing with, with being honest with yourself and it, and, and if it's just one sentence, if it's just one little thing, you don't know what that one little thing can do for Daisy chaining it to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And that's the single step. You know, that's the, if you were to start a new life,
00:37:31
Speaker
You don't have it completely figured out. You're going into this, you know, and I'm like, yeah, like you're giving me the eyes. Well, it's just funny because that was, that was kind of between the ears. Like you wanted the whole thing. But you can conceptualize it. Like, let's just say you're 35 years old and you're like, I want to start a new beginning. I want a new life.
00:37:58
Speaker
there can still be 99.9% of your old life present. But if that 0.1% changes and it's within you, good, you're making some progress. And that's the thing I think that's important. So instead of saying like, well, I'm 35, well, you know, you've been creating, you've been building this and you've been building this life for 35 years. We'll just say for 20 years.
00:38:23
Speaker
You think in 20 minutes, it's going to figure it, you know what I mean? But that is sometimes people's expectation with a lot of things. Well, of course. And I think that's the point to your thing about journaling. It's the same with workouts. People don't come in here and day one, you're like taking them to some deep place. It's a workout. I mean, yes, we are not
00:38:45
Speaker
It's the degree to that which that person wants to go and it's a process. It's not therapy. Yeah, you know, and that's what I keep saying It's like it's not therapy, but it can be very therapeutic individual clients Same thing like it's gonna depend really also on being able to have a conversation and Just Understanding okay, how deep do you want to go? And there are some who want to stay at the surface and
00:39:15
Speaker
Okay, you know, there's some who get into the pool and they never get their hair wet Yeah, they never you know, it's just belly button and down. Okay, and there's some who are fucking doing a gainers off the high dive Yeah, and and everybody in between and so, you know, I think that's one of those things that Looking at your own Kind of like a new beginning thing you know, it's an opportunity to truly be who you are and find that out and
00:39:42
Speaker
Yeah, and last week, the last thing I'll say is just you pointed out, you know, we are in one of the unhealthiest places we've been in, societally. And there are so many resources, there are so many tools, things at our disposal. And in the same way with this, there's so many opportunities for that, quote unquote, new beginning for people in everybody's life. So just kind of I think it's an interesting lens to approach
00:40:11
Speaker
your life with in an exciting way, a positive way, a learn about yourself way, like doesn't mean you're gonna leave a profession and open, like you said, a small business. But yeah, just kind of encouraging people to look at that and
00:40:28
Speaker
One of the things about though when you do start something new there is an excitement Yeah, always yeah, whether it's like nervous excitement and positive excitement So like in that feeling is important for people to have so, you know trying to find that in something in your life Yeah, and
00:40:48
Speaker
Kind of like the flippant thing is like, anybody can start anything. And I get what that quote kind of says, but like, nah,
Meditation and Self-prioritization
00:40:59
Speaker
not it. No, like sure. It's possible. But, but there's a lot of people who don't because they know what starting it means. Right. And that's then where you're like kind of the dog on the leash and that's the repression and that's the playing it safe and holding it back. And so.
00:41:18
Speaker
If you are someone who is starting something and like you decided to cut that leash
00:41:28
Speaker
celebrate that and try to be proud of yourself and honor that and acknowledge it because every time you do that, you're filling up your fuel tank a little bit because it's going to be hard. Starting a new life is going to be fucking hard.
00:41:49
Speaker
and every time you make a little action or a little step or avoid one of this or that like be present aware and celebrate not necessarily what you did but the why you did it yeah how you did it and and and how what that represents as it relates to you who you are
00:42:10
Speaker
And those celebrations are little deposits of like, all right, little energy, little energy. You're filling that tank up and you're going to need that because it is a long journey and it is a hard one. And there's a lot of ups and a lot of downs. Um, and so, you know, I think that's, that's obviously a thing to remember as you go forward. Yeah. Well, so.
00:42:39
Speaker
I was just going to say, if you want to do a physical workout, that is that. I feel like we could, uh, we could throw out a little workout, you know, like a little experiential. What do you think? What are you going to do?
00:42:54
Speaker
You're asking me. It's gotta be long. That's part of it. That's why, you know, some of this stuff to create physical experiences that give you the space and time to feel also what it's like, you know, that was a cool thing with a vector project that just finished up this weekend. People were like.
00:43:11
Speaker
One of the guys said that he had that same kind of right before a football game, you know, as an athlete, like, ooh, like this is real. It's like, yeah, you feel that you start, you're feeling awesome. The sun's coming up, it's like right on. And then it hits, you know, an hour or two. Yeah, I think those kinds of, and that's the one thing, the events you've done in the past have that feeling to them because they're not highly technical.
00:43:39
Speaker
but you have to stay in it to kind of go through. I remember talking to Chris Hinshaw at the games, you know, and one of the things he was talking about was how CrossFit athletes don't do things long enough to really go through a range of emotions, you know, cause I mean, that's CrossFit's a 15, 20 minute workout, whatever. So something that you're not going to get in your own way with, and it's not just going to be a flash in the pan,
00:44:07
Speaker
something you're not going to get in your life. Like get focus. Like, for example, I wouldn't pick something that I struggle with as a skill because I'd be so focused on that. Yeah. I was going to say, like, I was going to say, you know, like a, like a two hour walk or something. Yeah. I mean, we talked about this the other day with swimming, like just a place to be steady.
00:44:33
Speaker
and have some thought have some space and right now I feel like you know we've been meditating and most times we meditate I still have I definitely feel so much better with meditating like do you yeah yeah because we went through a course with the spring meditation with Arden and it was like
00:44:57
Speaker
It was like giving you permission to like, just, it's fine. Like if you think or whatever, it's you're not doing it wrong. And I need that. But I will say like, I have a moment within the first few minutes, at least. And then maybe, usually it's in the beginning, where I have that like anxiety of like, things I could be doing. Like, not things I could be doing, but I'm really just sitting here, like, kind of thing. And I think that's where, and if you ask me like, well, what is it you have to do?
00:45:27
Speaker
It's not like I actually have a list of things and I'm like, oh, like I have to be somewhere and pick someone up. It's just that feeling. So I think giving yourself a little bit of space and time, an hour or two hours to do something is helpful for a lot of reasons. But like it has to be long enough that you're not just on to the next. Yeah. And I think that's the thing with like some of these events and some of these different things. It's like,
00:45:54
Speaker
you know, not that like do hard things or whatever, but for many people, you know, if the emphasis is just on the physical, you could easily say like, Oh, that's not hard enough. Or, Oh, it should be harder. Or if you're coming up with something for yourself, like, Oh, is that hard enough? And it's like, there's events. There's the very first engagement member. Yeah. Or the engagement, the engagement event. I was like,
00:46:21
Speaker
I don't know. Okay. I think it's long and people it is not hard. It is it's not hard physically. It is agonizing. Yes, there isn't there is a sadistic element to it and I've been told that as well as seen it and experienced it and it's like
00:46:43
Speaker
because it's right in front of your face how we put, so going back into expectations a little bit, we put expectations on these things. And then when they're completely opposite of what the external thing was or what the expectation was, it's like, oh, and that's the kind of dose of reality.
00:47:06
Speaker
So when it comes to not doing hard things, or doing hard things, or making it harder, this is a lot of the whatever. I'm not gonna go off on the tirade, but.
00:47:17
Speaker
For a lot of people, the hardest thing that they'll ever do is put themselves first in a situation. And so with the meditation, it's like, so you are putting, you're spending 40 quality minutes with yourself that has a slew of all of the benefits. Nobody doubts. I don't think anybody doubts the benefits of meditation.
00:47:38
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like if you do, okay, whatever. But really what it is, is you're not gonna prioritize yourself. That's the hardest part about it. Well, my schedule- Well, it's that, it's that, but it's also wanting to actually be still with myself. And that's where the, you know. Yeah, but if you don't do that, if you can't be here now, like you asked me that shit when I was gonna go back into- Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's where it's like providing, like one of the guys on Saturday
00:48:08
Speaker
told his family like this is what I'm doing and I like it that resonated so much just like okay like I can exhale and I'm giving myself this space to not have any of the distractions or just just be still I mean still in a mental way like not having that yeah it's okay to prioritize yourself and that's the that's the double-edged sword people in myself and this is like ten fingers pointed back at me
00:48:40
Speaker
Well, I want to do good for other people. It's like, okay, but you're going to do your best for other people when you're your best. But, you know, if I rewind the clock 30 years to what I was saying before, Oh, okay. It's not exactly a shock then that you're that, um, you know, that I would struggle then with.
Conclusion and Encouragement for Self-discovery
00:49:04
Speaker
taking care of myself or, you know, belief, confidence, all that stuff, because some of the, the, the deeper, darker stuff. And so, so yes, if you want to explore this, we encourage you to grab an hour, grab an hour, walk, grab an hour and walk. You could bike, but like something where you're not going to, you know, biking on a train or on an indoor bike where you're not dodging traffic.
00:49:30
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like, take any of the distractions out. Yeah, go for a walk without your phone, without podcasts, without anything. And if it's cold, put a hat on. You know what I mean? Like, just go and be an experienced. Experience what it's like to be cold. Experience what it's like to be uncomfortable. Experience what it's like to be at peace with yourself while you're moving. Everything. Be open to all of it.
00:49:58
Speaker
Yeah, anyway. All right. What do we have? Announcements-wise? I have no idea. All right, we're done. We're done.