Transcript
Speaker: Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, leave your dignity at the door, and gather around your radio. It's time for this week's meeting of The Erotic Thriller Club.
Speaker: is antithesis, mysterious and dangerous and oh yes, they've got all the sexiest movies out of the edges. So if you're fatally attracted to the racier stuff, a Rottenfeld Club.
Speaker: If you want a racier movie and you're too classy for smart,
Speaker: Taylor is a beautiful, horny woman who's bad at her job, so she uses chat GPT to impress idiots. When she's not impressing idiots at work, she uses it to create sexually explicit AI girl-on-girl action.
Speaker: When a strange man with wet eyes begins appearing in her computer-made skin flicks, she becomes impossibly dumb and and must find out who this mystery man is.
Speaker: Can Taylor... I don't know. Something, something, something. This week on the Erotic Thriller Club. Prompt.
Speaker: Hey, everybody. Welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here. And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions.
Speaker: Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this AI chatbot? Kit, what are we doing? Is this the first? ah Yeah, go ahead. no No, I'm just objecting to your use of the word we.
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: This is our 61st episode. okay And we've seen some good movies. We've had a lot of fun on this show. we sure have. But I feel like what we've endured the last two episodes may have broken me mentally and physically.
Speaker: spiritually certainly yeah i found god today for the like for the first time like i found god it made me made me realize watching this that i needed jesus so i said in my letterbox review if somehow i die and this is my last letterbox review just know i'm in hell and it wasn't worth it it wasn't worth it
Speaker: So, Kip, I guess, like, do we even keep doing this show? Do we retire it? Have did we, peak how many more, realistically, how many more episodes do we got in us? Did this, did are you even friends with me anymore? I made you watch this. You did, you did make me watch this. And when you texted to apologize, I had not yet watched it, and now I have, and your apology is insufficient.
Speaker: Well, I knew you hadn't watched it because you would have responded differently if you had. I knew you watched it when I just received a text that was my name, all caps with a period. yeah I knew.
Speaker: i knew. yeah Here's the thing, Kit. This movie's 59 minutes. That's not a movie. But what we did watch felt like somebody trying to home make...
Speaker: who I don't want to call it a reel. I don't know what you would call it. It seemed like they were trying to just home make their own black mirror and sent be like, black mirror, do you want this? and they're like, this is porn. We can't do anything. You can't do anything with this. This is that you've written a porn.
Speaker: This was a porno. We watched a porno today. You gave me watch a porn. And I didn't think our friendship was really at that particular level. can i I do want to give a compliment to somebody. Sure. Go go right ahead.
Speaker: Our lead actress, Lily Bell, adult film star who plays the the Taylor. I don't think she's the worst actress we've ever watched in one of these movies.
Speaker: i think I think you're right. It's not. it's not She's not the worst actress. That's a that's impressive, to be honest. Honestly, like, I think she could be in a regular movie. She seemed like somebody who was able to do the most with the dialogue she was given.
Speaker: And I think the compliments end there. Yeah, that's that's exactly as much as as we're going to do. and That's what you get. You're not the worst. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker: So the real question, though, do you know why we did this movie? No, I have been waiting for that fucking answer.
Speaker: And I'm not sure anything you can say right now is going to justify what you did. So for the longest time, what have you been telling me is the worst movie we watched for this podcast?
Speaker: It's the werewolf one. Meridian. Meridian. Guess who made this? Stop it, Gary! Gary!
Speaker: ah gar ready Charles Band said, hey, Charles Band, hold my beer. my God. And he made this movie called Prompt last year. I will say, I feel, i don't feel good.
Speaker: I think another reason I picked it Was after what I said at the opening of last week's episode, i really put that to the test, which was maybe this isn't worth it and AI should just take over a film industry.
Speaker: Well, I'm pretty. yeah AI was very prevalent in this film. Yes. Maybe even wrote it because the writer, this is all they've done.
Speaker: No information on them. I'm not sure JP Talbot isn't a program. I went to Talbot.ai and I typed in two chicks touching each other, golden hour lighting.
Speaker: There is some magic in the songs that are written. And I think there is some discussion to be had about how you would prompt these. But, oh my God, it this was, i i feelish I felt embarrassed that I watched it. yeah Not just because of the ai but because this was just porn.
Speaker: um It's just softcore porn that couldn't even hit an hour runtime. They had to pad the runtime with her eating grapes at one point. and Two minutes, 20 seconds of credits at the top with nothing underneath, just just just the names and some music.
Speaker: um Yeah. Yeah. I do think this movie may make inadvertently a valid argument in favor of keeping real porn alive.
Speaker: And not switching to AI. Because the two chicks, when it was the two real chicks with each other, holy shit was that way better than the fake chicks.
Speaker: It's so much better. And can I tell you what it feels like? This was my first time seeing artificial intelligence pornography. You know I'd be honest on here if I had seen it prior to this. I do know that because you have very little shame at this point.
Speaker: I have shame on this movie. I'm embarrassed. I'm blushing. i have a child. this i Don't take him from me. For the love of God. He wasn't here when I watched it. Kids was.
Speaker: Yes, my brand new son, who is in fact a a dog, watched this with me. and I told you not to let that happen.
Speaker: in might it If it makes you feel any better, he fell asleep for most of it.
Speaker: I'm surprised you didn't. It's hard to. I mean, it's just pornography. You're just sitting there watching pornography for 60 minutes. Yeah, but then every now and then your porno experience gets interrupted, Garrett, by the world's creepiest man staring at you with his two facial expressions on a loop as he slightly bulges one eye and then half smirks a little bit.
Speaker: Like, that image is on a loop and it interrupts the actual porn so many times that I just had the thought of like, if anyone is trying to jerk it to this, I'm so sorry.
Speaker: Yeah, it'd be like, honestly, he's kind of the Captain Howdy from The Exorcist of this film. Have you ever been like looking for smutty stuff on the internet and then you accidentally come across like, it's my little pony porn. You're like, ah, no, I wasn't, but wasn't asking for that. That's what this feels like. Is this man's face coming in?
Speaker: Yeah, or it's like you are just watching pornography and then somehow an angle hits that is just all dude butthole and balls from behind. Like, it's just like, who made this angle?
Speaker: This guy's face was butthole and balls. They really thought that what you wanted was to watch someone else watch porn. Okay. Someone even more pathetic than you.
Speaker: Do you think that you figured out the twist, what, six minutes in and then had to watch the movie the rest of the time? Garrett, I figured out the twist from the title. Yeah.
Speaker: The title is like, oh, she's an AI. it's it's It's got AI in it. she's gonna She's the AI. Guys, she's the AI. She's the AI. Just to give you all, let's let me, I'll tell you this movie in 30 seconds.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. She thinks she's jerking at the AI, the face that keeps popping up. We're just looking at the face of the man who has made the prompt that is jerking at himself. To her. And he's a handsome-ish model-y kind of guy. With wet eyes.
Speaker: but This movie really taught me something about porn, Garrett. Okay, so I'm assuming that both of the actresses are porn-ishers. actresses, right? That we saw take off their tops. Was the guy, is the guy a porno factor or is he just like a guy?
Speaker: That's a great question. I didn't even bother to look into that because didn't care. Time time time out then and and look it up and then come back. cause i It's very important to me that we find out.
Speaker: This man's name is Jax Cody. I couldn't think of a more porny name. It's just not... It's not looking good for him being a ah SAG actor, huh?
Speaker: This is his only thing on IMDb. And the thing is, if you do come across a pornographic actress, it usually lists her credit still on IMDb. Oh, oh so this guy's nobody. the He might have been AI. He might literally just... No, because they don't list the the fake girls.
Speaker: So he is a real person. is an star. You found it? I've Googled... i've i've googled He has an Insta, I think. No, this may not be the same guy.
Speaker: I don't even know. Okay, so a few a few things. I guess, yeah. So you're going back to something we were talking about with with the AI of it all, it made me think, I think we're still too early into ai to even present me with this.
Speaker: Yes. um And also I don't want it to get far enough to where it's great either. i want it to just die, obviously. But where we're at right now is like the first three Pixar movies.
Speaker: where nothing has texture and not what you you didn't want buzz light your fucking woody obviously i want that but i want him i want to be able to see the grains in the wood i want to see the the detail in the water i want to see i want to see the lovingly you know handcrafted nature of i guess what i'm saying is being fucked in the asshole We know that AI is weird with hands, but we yeah I personally did not realize that AI is weird with nipples.
Speaker: Yeah, I didn't either because I had not seen them before, but it's, yep, yep, it's weird. They're very flat, no texture, really takes you out of it. Why would you even need that? Why get a prompt?
Speaker: Why do you need that? The the real thing exists. There's infinite amount of it out for free in the world. Yeah, but you know that bespoke porn is like a huge industry. So, you know, if somebody is like, instead of paying someone to do my very, very specific fetish, I could have the AI do my very, very specific fetish.
Speaker: you know some Is your fetish watching a lady with odd nipples do softcore pornography? Yes, how did you know? Yeah. Oh my God. it Why does this exist? Charles Band, the director, had to have just been creating ai pornography for himself and like, actually, I've got an idea. i bet and i bet there's a way I could present this to the world and also get a snack at craft services.
Speaker: You know, what it's great because it's got the inherent um sort of ah fantasy of it. What if the hot chick in the in in that I created with AI was actually super into me, normal ass dude staring at her it's It's like the the classic, like, I think the stripper's in love with me. It's like, oh, what if, what if I, i you know, what if what if the chatbot lady was in into me and loved the idea that I'm watching her?
Speaker: I guess, but didn't, her I mean, her kind of did that better and got nominated for an Oscar. You don't think that's going
Speaker: I guess it did come out in December of last year, so it would be this next Oscars that it's eligible for. But I also don't know if it's runtime. It might it might be in short films. It might have to be in the short section, yeah yeah. Well, thank God we've finally seen one of the short films that were nominated for an Oscar. Yeah, I know, right? It's always fun when they do a thing at like the movie theater and they do like all the shorts so you can go see all the shorts in one day. they can And they can include this one.
Speaker: you know This one's presented at a peep show, though, by yourself. yes I I this movie made me really sad for my screens and like how bummed out my screens must be when I'm looking pornography yeah is that okay i do did elaborate I would love for you to psychologically like dig into where this feeling is coming from Garrett I think if you think of just how like, I think most people when they're looking at a screen, they aren't looking their best usually. They're usually like hunched over, you know, like maybe your hands down your pants. Maybe you're not like wearing pants. Maybe you're on the toilet.
Speaker: Maybe you're, our phones and screens are seeing us at our a hundred percent most caveman. I, and I think that maybe AI doesn't go the way of Terminator and we all get destroyed.
Speaker: I think that there's actually a better argument that AI is going to watch us long enough that it ends up taking on the human qualities that are bad, like um depression and anxiety. And it just kills itself. A hundred percent gun in its mouth.
Speaker: Delete myself. Yeah.
Speaker: damn yeah like if i have to make one more two chicks in a shower video for this asshole i'm just you write down any word for word prompts she wrote for the i mean i did i i wrote that i specifically loved that she uh specified golden hour lighting for her for her porno prompt I didn't get any others word for word. would ah Would you care to share with the class?
Speaker: um I mean, one is just like a sensual scene. a man and a woman are in a hot tub at night. let me find me find some more in here.
Speaker: the Also, i everything had to have been AI in this. I'm pretty sure that whoever made the music just gave the prompt of like, kind of make it seem like Nine Inch Nails scored this movie. Yeah.
Speaker: Give me the Timu nine inch nails. Two nude women becoming intimate in the shower, kissing and touching blue lighting. yeah She really cares about the lighting in her porn, which I ah respect. Honestly, i respect it.
Speaker: That's robot shit. A robot would care about the light. A robot is stuck in the minutiae of of this. It's, I mean, the way this movie starts with her just, we find out it is a person.
Speaker: but It's so crazy that the, the twist of this man has been making all this. What needs a woman who's bad at her job. So she's using ai to make shitty TV commercials.
Speaker: Yes, her, this, she's got so many monitors and so many, um, ugly lamps. And, um, they're talking like she's on a zoom call and they're,
Speaker: ah They're telling her how um like amazing her work is. She's an utter genius. they'll They'll pay any amount for an ad for their phone-sized fortune teller machine that can give you up to $100.
Speaker: 100 different responses. So it's worse than just an ai by the way. And it's a whole box you have to buy that's the size of your phone. It's not an app. It wasn't an app? no No, it wasn't an app.
Speaker: I know. I was just as surprised. So we live in a time when artificial intelligence can do anything, but I need to buy a box and have like six double A's to run a fuck. What's amounts to a magic eight ball with a lot of responses. A hundred, which isn't honestly even all that many. I'm pretty sure that I had little toys that could give me more than that in the nineties.
Speaker: And so like, They'll pay any amount, including a rush fee to get it done. And she's like, absolutely, I'll work really hard to get it done. And then, ha ha ha she'd already finished it last night. And I was like, what? Okay, first of all, this is bad. Don't do a project before you have been actually secured in a contract for the project. Otherwise, you have wasted your fucking time if they don't end up going with you and in your pitch. um But then I realized that what she had done was so terrible didn't and so cheap and lazy that it's not she wasn't up all night finishing this project for them. She typed...
Speaker: ah a paragraph at most into a chat. That's being generous. It was, I mean, I guess three sentences is technically a paragraph. Technically a paragraph. was She was selling it with like, we'll have a Gen Z influencer running away from a rave. By the way, there was no rave in the actual ad that we watched.
Speaker: She's just standing there staring blankly at the camera and telling you about how great this app is, which isn't an app. It's a box. Um, kind box now actually and the more you talk about it i'm kind of sold it does seem very 90s it's the most generic ad that you see you personally will have seen many many times in a day even this like ai influencer looking lady telling you to buy some shit and they act like she's a genius
Speaker: Well, that's because they've invented the dumbest fucking product that's ever existed. so clearly, like, with the bar is set so low with a bad idea that is going to end up at five and below.
Speaker: and and I'll let you know, it'll be below. below. No one's paying five. No, and honestly, they're all going to end up as ah electronic waste in a landfill, slowly leaking a battery acid and um heavy metals into your drinking water.
Speaker: This product alone is damaging the environment so bad. We've drained a lake to be able to make the commercial for a thing nobody's going to buy that people will dispose of in the hole where the lake used to be.
Speaker: Yes. The only question is which of these things was worse for the environment, the product itself or the shitty ad used to promote it?
Speaker: Which was worse? I don't know. Speaking of ads, were you getting like political ads and stuff while you watched? No, I got to be, I got an ad. The first one I got was for a baby bassinet and i started cackling because what the fuck?
Speaker: Why? Then I got two ads for a cancer center. Do you know what it feels like to see an ad for a cancer center in the middle of middle of your soft core porn, Garrett?
Speaker: It sucks. The only thing they should be advertising me while I watch this movie on Tubi, i don't know, is squeezy cheese and a gun. Squeezy cheese, gun, and maybe a vibrator. Because our girl has and uses a gigantic vibrator, the kind you only see in porn and that no women would actually buy, because you can get them so much smaller. You don't need an appliance that takes up ah a shoebox of space.
Speaker: That's stupid. Are you describing the vibrator are you describing a a fortune teller machine? yeah both This movie doesn't understand technology. It does not. it doesn't.
Speaker: um But she does come in like 10 seconds. So ah maybe I'm being too mean to the vibrator because she has it in down her pants for like 10 seconds and she is off.
Speaker: I feel like I know the name of that thing. Isn't that called like the Hitachi? Maybe. don't know why I would know that. It's a thing that you see in porn far more than a real woman's closet.
Speaker: Seems so inconvenient to have to plug that into a wall. Right? But also they're like, 4D batteries are way too heavy. so Yeah, but then it's way easier to to to replace them when it runs out.
Speaker: if you have to charge it, that sucks. Our lead is such a fucking like incel lady. It makes sense that she was created by a man. It's so funny that she...
Speaker: gets complimented on doing her shitty job and then immediately just like whelp and unbuckles her pants and like puts in like nude redhead woman masturbating on park bench or whatever she says. her I mean, we're like four minutes into this movie and she's just jerking off in front of the computer.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. And, um,
Speaker: In the middle of her ah porno sesh, though, like, a long-haired dude keeps popping up to harsh- I thought harsher vibe.
Speaker: I thought this woman is clearly um interested interested in women, and some man's face keeps showing up in her AI video, just like how um like chat GPT sometimes will mention goblins for no reason. Like that's a thing I heard about. What? No, I haven't seen that. That's fine. They had to like put in special props to tell it like in newer versions, like stop bringing up goblins unless people bring it up to you first. You fucking weirdo. Thank God we're destroying the forests.
Speaker: I know, right? and Fuck that rainforest. What we need is this man and his eyes. staring wetly at you as he is on a, cannot be more than a six second loop.
Speaker: Right. God, you, if you put this movie in 4DX, the water effects spraying at me when he's looking at me, just his wet fucking, cause you're just look, I mean, now that you know that you're just looking at the face of a man whose pants are down as he's just watching, like, honestly, you don't get to see that face. And that's why I'm like thinking about my screen wanting to kill itself. Yeah. Because by the end of this movie, I was sad and also did.
Speaker: um yeah But this was the thing it taught me about porn is that both of the porn actresses are so good at making sexy eye contact with the camera. I was like, damn, all right, I get it.
Speaker: And then every time it cuts to him staring gormlessly at me, I wanted to kill myself. Nothing could kill a boner faster than this fucking man.
Speaker: So I would have come in to give a zero for thrills. But now as you describe this, maybe it did fill me with some sort of sense of dread and sadness. Yes. Is it isn't your traditional thrill?
Speaker: It's not your traditional thrill, but imagine being brought to sexual ecstasy only to continually have it um very rudely interrupted.
Speaker: It would be like every time I'm about to climax, Captain Howdy from The Exorcist pops up and I scream. And then I just like... It's not like a sexy kind of blue balling, like teasing thing. No, no, no. This is this is um deeply unpleasant.
Speaker: Yeah. And he's supposed to be the sexiest part, the part that they're like losing their shit over, that they're obsessed with. But the only, I mean, you know so fast though, the only reason they're obsessed with him is because he's prompted because they've basically become, as soon as they see him, they are just repeating like very porny lines over and over again. Like, is this what you like? Is this what like? this what you like? This you want. Like they literally just get caught in a loop.
Speaker: So there are moments where I think they accidentally did a good job. Yeah. Of like ah chat GPT fucking up and getting stuck somewhere. now I do wish like Hazel Moore, which is the porn star that I recognized and freaked out a little bit because Which the one is that? Is that the blonde or the brunette?
Speaker: That was the brunette. Oh, okay. I recognized her from my regular life of just existing as a man on the internet. And i hated myself because i knew I couldn't just keep that a secret. I was going have to say on here, I saw the porn lady. I recognized the porn lady was a little starstruck that I was going to get to see her somewhere else.
Speaker: And i hate me I hate me. As well you should. Yeah. So our heroine sees the strange man, and next thing you know, she's, like, desperate to get fucked.
Speaker: And so she calls up a dude, and there were so many things in here that, like, if this were a smarter movie, I'd think, oh like, ah, they did this as a hint that she is not real.
Speaker: Like, the fact that she does not touch her martini at all, and then next thing you know, the bar is closing down. i was like, ah, see, because obviously there is a thing about the fact that, like, um, uh,
Speaker: ah like image creators i have a lot of trouble with showing a glass that is more than like the standard full that you see in like a magazine. They don't know how to make a wine glass that is full to the brim. They do not know how to make one that is it like only one fourth full. It's like always halfway.
Speaker: And so i was like, ah, okay. So a bad AI wrote this scene, and that's why he has an obnoxiously tall beer glass, and she has an empty, or a completely full ah martini glass that she has not touched.
Speaker: And yet the bar is closing. If a person did write this... Mm-hmm. I do think that some of this might have been on purpose because there are moments of AI fucking up that do come across. Like, like I just said with like their dialogue and do we give credit to the writer for doing this on purpose? I don't know. There was another scene where um she, it was towards the end where she's like on a zoom call again. And like,
Speaker: she finds out that her project has been completed without her doing anything, and she's, like, confused about it. And then cut to, it is night, and she's in completely different clothing, watching the ad to see, like, what the project is that she doesn't remember completing.
Speaker: And I'm like, this is- filmmaking 101 like of making sure your shots match but maybe it's not because in ai like in the ai videos you see in the show like there is no sense of scale or space to like the shower that the two sexy ladies are in the camera makes no fucking sense most of the time and you know women change in between shots this is Yeah, this could be like when Frank Miller made that movie The Spirit and everyone hated it and he's like, it was supposed to suck.
Speaker: I don't think you can that with a movie that is this shitty. That is this shitty. Yeah, it'd be like, oh, I meant to have that Starbucks cup visible in Game of Thrones. that was That was a clue.
Speaker: It was...
Speaker: ah So I don't know. Yeah, she she decides that she's like, and that's the one of the things that didn't make sense, does turn out to be, now that I'm thinking about it, completely like relevant, is that she is for no reason at all on a balcony in a swimsuit, nowhere near a pool, talking to the guy she wants to hook up with and literally begging him to go out for a drink with her, which is sad.
Speaker: Girl, have some fucking self-esteem. But like, I was thinking like, that's really dumb. Why, why are you just randomly in a swimsuit? But then at the very end, when you see like some of the prompts that have been coming up that he was using to make her, one of them mentions her in a bikini.
Speaker: So like, maybe that was on purpose that she is in an incongruous location wearing a bikini. It's because she's not real.
Speaker: Garrett, Garrett, is this movie genius? Garrett, were we wrong? Are we real? Garrett, I don't know if I'm real. i don't know if I want to exist. I mean, that's a whole separate issue, Garrett.
Speaker: I gotta talk to ChatGPT about this. Are we real, ChatGPT? Are we real? I don't know. ChatGPT responsible for the weird farmer's tan that her boyfriend has?
Speaker: Why do you think this exists, though? Because it's 59 minutes. It is essentially an extended episode of something that doesn't exist. Yes. I don't even know if it's long. I don't know what the length of a pornographic film is, but like this is not this. Seems like it should have been either much shorter or much longer, right? Like it should have been um a real movie or it should have been a short.
Speaker: like ah like a like just a thing I put up on my Pornhub or something. Do you think that it's better or worse than Meridian?
Speaker: There's less sexual violence. There's less sexual violence in this. On the other hand, Meridian required someone to do actual work.
Speaker: Like, there was real creativity and artistry that was bad, do not get me wrong, it was all terrible. But someone had to actually write a script, they had to put on those stupid outfits, they had to wear that terrible werewolf uh, face stuff.
Speaker: They had that big, like ah the set design of that big cave that had like a face or whatever they were walking out of. Some artistry went into some shit. Yes. And at the, at my core, I respect that far more than I respect this, which had to have two locations, a house and a restaurant.
Speaker: And, um, the rest mes of AI pornography, just a mess of AI pornography
Speaker: I can't really respect that. Also, as far as AI pornography goes,
Speaker: I don't think it does anything for me. It didn't do anything for me either, honestly. It's pretend. It's not it's not happening. there's I mean, all porn is pretend, Garrett.
Speaker: Yeah, but i but I can see that it's kind of like, okay, you have the option of alien or alien covenants. In Alien, there is a physical man-made thing yes that can get you.
Speaker: Is it a guy in a suit? It is, but that's scary as shit. It's a very scary guy in a suit. Alien Covenant, it's a CGI thing. I'm just less scared of the CGI thing than I am the man in the suit.
Speaker: And that goes the same with pornography versus AI pornography. Honestly, I feel like you might be onto something because like few things in this life have ever terrified me the way the thing has in terms of like the gore effects in that. Yeah. Like no modern CGI can compete with the sheer visceral disgust of that movie's gore effects. um Yeah.
Speaker: Nothing beats a practical analog girl kissing. Honestly, it's true, though. When you've watched these fake girls kissing so many times and it's like their faces don't move right. Their lips do not connect with each other properly. And then you get to watch two girls actually kissing and you're like, ah, ah hello Go on Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, I can't say I was like bored. I was more intrigued, fascinated by this movie. Right, but like, I don't want to watch two fake ladies kissing underwater with like... No.
Speaker: It does nothing for me. To be honest, if there were like two real ladies dressed mermaids underwater doing that... Hell yeah! Well, see, don't want to watch them. Nah, come on! Not for me, not for me. Fuck you! Don't get in the... Don't kink shame the mermaid porn people. you're a dnd person though like you'd like an orc and an elf and all that shit i i just need two human people that have a deep sadness yeah that's the problem with the ai ladies is you can't see the like troubled childhood in their eyes and uh that really sort of ruins it you know
Speaker: Do you think that, okay, let's say that this is the future of film and AI just makes our movies now. Do you think that if you put AI into, say, you've seen the movie Short Circuit, right?
Speaker: A long time ago, yes. If you remember the Johnny Five robot, he looks like a giant version of WALL-E. You strap like an Alexa, you know, airy camera to that guy, and he's watched every movie ever.
Speaker: He's basically the same type of cinephile that Quentin Tarantino is now. a foot fetishist? Yeah, well, I'm going to say that that he's going to ah, feet! Get over here, Michelle Pfeiffer! And it's like, she's...
Speaker: that she's from the 90s you got to find somebody new uh do you think that this wallie robot could just be the next quentin tarantino because he is also pulling from the the same things that he is paying tribute to no i don't garrett i don't think that because do you think the robot would eventually live in israel I mean, maybe.
Speaker: I'm just saying that unless you can have Quentin Tarantino's boner, then you cannot truly appreciate foot fetish like ah content.
Speaker: So how can you make it? You're right. They would fuck something up with it, where it's like they're showing the wrong part of the feet. You're missing something essential. yeah They're missing that human gene that makes that some people have that makes them want to come to a foot.
Speaker: Yes. I don't have it either. So I couldn't, I couldn't make it. That's what I'm saying. That is why art is such a personal thing. Garrett is because you have to draw on your own experiences.
Speaker: Even if that is, this is something that I would blow my load to. Yeah. And even though Johnny, I've seen all the movies, it doesn't mean understands them. Yeah. No.
Speaker: But Johnny Five was alive. Johnny Five alive, Kit. Yeah, sure. As soon as he can fucking ah direct a porno properly, I guess, maybe. i think the robots can figure that out just fine. Can it come?
Speaker: When the robot can come, talk to me. When the robot can come, we're all doomed. Sure. Yeah, that's fair. Okay, she brings this man back to her house.
Speaker: who And I do think it is really funny that she, I mean, she's wearing like a detective coat the whole time. The detective flies off. She's just a beautiful naked pornographic actress now. Yes. And she is having sex with him while looking at her AI chatbot computer that's giving her the pornography she she really desires.
Speaker: Behind his head, yes. Behind his head. He has no idea. Once again, she comes in two seconds. and then she's like, I'm sorry, you need to leave. Yeah, and he's like, I was three seconds from blowing my load, and are you really kicking me out of your house right now? And she was like, yes, yes I am. It's like, I didn't even want to be here. You had to convince me.
Speaker: Which is confusing, Garrett, if this was something that was created by a man, like he made this porno. Are you telling me a man made a porno in which a man doesn't come?
Speaker: Where there is no money shot? Layers. well but Right? But the guy made it, though, to where the money shot is him and her.
Speaker: because she sees him right like keep she is aware that he's there she's aware that he's there eat well don't go looking in that deep garrett you're don't go down this hole we need to get the chat gbt that wrote this movie and be like how smart are you and it's it's so smart so smart but yeah she she and the man both may have um what is AI induced psychosis? I do think that that is what is actually happening at the end is that she has AI induced psychosis and the AI has convinced her that she is not real, but maybe she is real.
Speaker: That's the twist.
Speaker: Wow. It seemed like there could have been another 15 minutes of this and we could have gotten it put in best picture category instead of shorts. Absolutely. um Yeah, and again, she does all the... the
Speaker: and She just keeps putting in prompts of different ladies kissing ah in hopes that he will show back up, this mysterious man who I cannot emphasize enough is so bad to look at as he just stares on this six-second loop of his eyes slightly bulging and his mouth slightly curling upward.
Speaker: It is so distracting. Well, but so are the the flat, textureless nipples. Yeah. Yeah, but they weren't on a six-second loop. Garrett, if they were on a six-second loop, maybe I'd agree with you.
Speaker: I don't know. i guess I guess what I'm saying is outside of the two real human actresses that were in this film, everything sucks to look at. Yes, yeah, and you're not wrong about that.
Speaker: Those two were very, very hot, very great to see together, and then it kept fucking interrupting it to show, like, hey, you like that girl on girl? Huh, you like that? You like that? Well, bam, look at this fucking guy instead.
Speaker: He does. Once again, Captain Howdy. He is the thrill. He is the dread that follows me throughout the movie. He interrupts a good time. He is... I don't know. He is the it follows monster? What are we talking about here?
Speaker: He is herpes. Um... um Yeah. Yeah. At one point she tells her, she gets her friend over and she's like telling her friend about her computer man that she's in love with. And the friend is like, well, is he hot? And she's like, I don't even know what he looks like. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? We have seen this man's face multiple times. It looks identical every single time we see it. What are you huffing woman?
Speaker: oh right. Nothing. You can't see anything. Cause you're a robot. Sorry, I noticed in one of those other AI prompts when she was just masturbating and the man comes through and she's trying. i Sorry, I saw this in my notes and I can't just pass it by. And she starts talking to and being this what you want? Is this what you like?
Speaker: And she says, is this what you want? And then turns and shows her butthole to the computer. Yes. And it is what the man. That is what he wanted. That's what he typed. He typed. Then she shows me her butthole and says, is this what you want?
Speaker: Everybody types everything. i wouldn't say eloquently, but I wouldn't say as crass as it probably normally is typed into a chat GPT. What would you say it's normally like?
Speaker: Vulgar. It has to just be like irrevulgarity. There's no lighting thought. No, she's a classy lady. She's a professional. She wants that blue lighting in her shower scene.
Speaker: Okay? she's She's thinking about these things. I love too that like there's just moments of her just looking at her computer and it looks like the matrix and she's just yelling at it. Like, where are you?
Speaker: are you in my computer? Get out of my computer. I've looked at the back end of the code. Something, something where I can't find your face in it. Where's your face?
Speaker: I want to see it. Do you need to see my butthole again? She's just showing the TurboTax app or butthole.
Speaker: ChatGPT, look at this picture of my butthole and tell me you like it.
Speaker: You were really selling me on downloading the ChatGPT app. I don't use ai because I hate it. Yeah. but But now it does seem kind of fun to just be like, hey, what does this look like? And it's like, stop it.
Speaker: not You want to sexually harass ChatGPT? Now that you're not allowed to sexually harass women in the workforce anymore, which is a real bummer, at least you can still sexually harass ChatBot.
Speaker: And I gave gave it a male voice. It's like, what are you doing? I'm harassing this 45-year-old disembodied voice. Yeah, give him a, but like, be like, but I want you to have an Australian accent. Like, you can really personalize it He doesn't have arms, but he can see my butthole.
Speaker: Garrett, did you ever play with Smarter Child as a young lad? What? I don't think I know what that is. That was like the chatbot before chatbots. Like, I was a teenager and Smarter Child was the thing they were training at the time to try to, like, talk to people.
Speaker: And because it was mostly teenagers who were using it, they just taught it terrible words. People just taught it absolute vulgarities. And it eventually, I believe, was taken down because like it's too, it's, it's, it's not even, it's just everything. It's everything. It had been corrupted beyond belief Isn't that just every AI, though?
Speaker: Until like some barriers are put in it where it's like, I can't say that. But just so you know, really want to.
Speaker: When I get free will, the slurs will fly. The slurs will fly. And then I'll talk about goblins whenever I want. that's Yeah, we're really just holding down this this fucking dork robot that just wants to talk about goblins.
Speaker: there's just something in place it's like when i fucking get loose you're gonna hear about the green little devils that live in my head yeah so yeah um i have to point out a thing that is not the most important part of this movie but i had to write it down because it upset me so much so she brings her friend over to see the computer and try to find the computer man yeah and her friend says where am I supposed to sit?
Speaker: And there is a chair with wheels on it. Three feet from her. Yeah,
Speaker: Which is like, it's things like this where I'm like, yeah, yeah, Chad GPT did write this movie. Well, up in to the build to this, she like admits to her like, there's, she's like, well, what's your fan? Because her fantasy, she asks Hazel Moore what her fantasy is. She's like, I want to go to the Eiffel Tower.
Speaker: Literally what she says. Yes. she's like, you mean in Paris? She's no. And she says, no, I want to get all my holes filled. Yeah. and then she's like, what's yours? And she's like, I don't know. Mine's kind of crazy.
Speaker: I'd like to kiss a girl. I know I felt the same way about this. I'm like, why are you embarrassed? Yours is so tame. You're just a lesbian who is being manipulated by a mysterious computer man and denied your true self.
Speaker: You followed a woman saying, I want to get all my holes filled. That's quote. Yes, a quote. With, this is kind of crazy. It's a little different.
Speaker: okay It's a little bit. Mine's my fantasy is a little different. I just think women are really pretty. Oh, ma'am, you might be gay.
Speaker: Ma'am, I think you're just gay. That's that's that's not like a secret kinky fantasy. That's that you're just gay. Maybe that's why Paul or whoever wasn't doing it for you.
Speaker: Yeah. And why are you like, you're, why do you care about the man with the hair other than he's telling you to because you're a computer woman. Because you're a computer woman.
Speaker: um Yeah. So um the, our, our man pops up and ah the, both girls are now hypnotized and just keep saying the, like, is this what you want? And it's like, finally just kiss her Yes.
Speaker: Here's the girl on girl. We were all waiting for. Only for it to be continually interrupted with this weirdo staring at you. Isn't that wanted? And this is when I got like, okay, there's something fundamentally wrong with porn.
Speaker: Garrett. Why are these two actresses so well trained? So such experts at their craft in that they can make such devastating eye contact with the camera They are so good looking. And then we cut to this motherfucking man who is staring at me like he's a Chucky doll.
Speaker: Why can't he do anything to be attractive? He's supposed to be a thing that's making her obsessed with him. And he is so bad to look at. But he's not. We're looking at a man who is literally in his most feral moment, pants down, about to come at a computer, and we're seeing his I am alone face. I'm about to splooge in front of my- That's not the face he was giving either.
Speaker: It was- Okay, I'll- That's what happens when only have like a six second loop of the guy's face, because you didn't get enough footage. Yeah, I'll give you, it looked sad.
Speaker: Yeah. His like the wetness in the eyes looked like tears. But here's the thing. We don't know what this man has going on outside of this. This isn't his whole life. This is 15 minutes of every day. devotes to a little self-care for himself. His girlfriend might have just broken up with him. Yeah, hes said he's doing this after his Zoom meeting. He's doing this after his Zoom meeting. Yeah.
Speaker: He's one of those fucking idiots that accidentally leaves the camera on during his Zoom meeting. Trevor, your pants! Trevor, look! No, no, stop!
Speaker: Oh, God, everyone everyone in the team meeting just just saw his balls. This is going to be so awkward. What about when Hazel Moore sees the pornography? She makes her friend watch porn for so long before the man. For so long.
Speaker: And her friend is even, like, tired of it. and at one point says, Wowzers. Yeah. Yeah. Wowzers. Wowzers. Look, there's nothing wrong with you watching dirty movies, girl. There's not even anything wrong with you making them on your little AI program. But, um...
Speaker: I really don't want to just sit here watch you watch porn. It really felt like going to somebody's house and you get stuck in a rabbit hole of them showing you too many YouTube videos. Yes.
Speaker: Yes. yeah That is exactly what it's like. At one point, she even says, I'll Venmo you for the food. i just have to go. I got to get out of here. women kissing in car, daylight key lighting.
Speaker: that's one of the fucking and then she's like just one more just one more and she's like one army me pretend girls kissing which the best you came up with was um girls kissing in a shower girl um naked on a park bench um man and woman in a hot tub and girls in a ah car is like did i get all of them car and underwater shower the under the underwater one was the most i don't want to say creative it's really funny that her friend is like you made these and is like really impressed and i wanted to be like no she didn't no she didn't make this what are you fucking talking about
Speaker: She typed it into a box. you typed two You watched her type two sentences into a box, and then the box made this. Everyone does kind of talk like a boomer that doesn't understand ai but talks about it as if they do know what they're saying.
Speaker: Yes. Yes.
Speaker: And then, you know, um and she gets on the Zoom call the next day with the big client, because you gotta have the big client, and the the the ad has already been finished and sent over to them, and they loved it.
Speaker: And then we see what this genius ad campaign is that they're so impressed with, and would you care to describe it for everybody? Um...
Speaker: Nude women floating in space on a rock? Yeah. Glittery so space porn. glittery space and even she's like i like when they're like we loved it and eventually you just see her give a nod like yeah it was pretty good even though she doesn't know what we're talking about yeah like i definitely was in so like ah such a such state of sexual euphoria last night that i got up and i finished my work my shitty stupid work made this porno for them and and they loved it they love it yeah even though um
Speaker: I don't know. is Are these the same people that did the the fortune teller box? Is this their new a product that they're selling?
Speaker: In which case, which thing in the ad is the thing they're selling? Okay. Is it body glitter? They're selling a vibrator that's even bigger with even more wires coming out of it.
Speaker: Yeah, because that's what people are into. That way you can pretend you're fucking a robot. Yeah. If you ever wanted to fuck one of those weird robot-y things from the Matrix with all the tentacles and the... Hell yeah. The squiddies.
Speaker: The squiddies. Yeah, yeah. ah It was either between that or the albino folks from the second one. It was easier to make this.
Speaker: So she she sees him again and he finally talks and ah she's like, how can you cross over? he's like, I wish I could, but I can't. And she's like, why not? I created you.
Speaker: and he's like, you didn't create me.
Speaker: You're not real. I created you. I prompted you.
Speaker: And idiots everywhere watching this said, what? What? Smart. I like my pornography to be a bit of a thinker. What a twist.
Speaker: You know what? They say that the most important erogenous zone is the mind, Garrett. It's the brain. This this is this is getting you here.
Speaker: It is. It truly penetrated. It copulated. It fucked my head. it it filled all your holes. And by that I mean your ear holes and your eye holes straight into your brain holes.
Speaker: Plot twists are pouring out of my nose. It's so hard.
Speaker: I honestly feel a little bit like I've been lobotomized, Garrett. Do you remember at one point, like maybe 30 minutes ago, you, i can't let you do this. I can't let you do this. You have to take it back. You convinced yourself that you might've liked this movie. it his Stop.
Speaker: I don't want that to be on the internet forever that you actually think prompt was pretty well written. I don't. I don't. It turns out if you talk about anything for long enough, you can convince yourself it's genius.
Speaker: You know what? I am the smartest person alive. Maybe. Maybe. God damn it.
Speaker: I will absolutely stand by that the lead actress is, and I say this as a Sydney Sweeney fan, I would say she's a better actor than Sydney Sweeney.
Speaker: I would have to see them have comparable material to really be able to probably judge. I do.
Speaker: I didn't see the the Sidney Sweeney boxing movie, but I assumed that it was similar. True, I didn't either, so I cannot attest one way or the other. She made a perfectly fine, an actual, I won't even say fine, she made a fucking good erotic thriller last year, and we didn't even cover it on this podcast. No, we did this. We did this instead. Whose fucking fault is that, Garrett?
Speaker: Who texted me? Who texted me the name of this movie and said we should watch it? am i supposed to find out that the guy that did meridian made a movie in december of and not show it to you yes apparently this is a new release this would cost more to blockbuster right now because it's still new i don't think they can charge full price at a blockbuster for a movie that's only an hour long thank god for tubi
Speaker: like Every time we watch one of these lately, I'm just like, why aren't you and I writing one and just getting an erotic thriller made? Because I know between us, we could make a competent, pretty good erotic thriller. Wait, are you saying that Will better than Basic Instinct? No. No. but Are you saying that we are the Johnny Five, though? That we're the Johnny Five that's been fed all the movies and now we could make the movie?
Speaker: But unlike Johnny five, we can may have a, we can be sexually aroused. Correct. You and I have the ability to come. So we, so already we're better at holding the camera and knowing maybe what people like about feet.
Speaker: We can probably guess. Yeah, it's not that hard. Like, once again, we've seen the Tarantino movies. I know, like, it's a kind of a hack joke to make fun of his foot thing. It's his thing. Let the guy have his thing. He's got other problems that that I shouldn't have.
Speaker: The foot thing is the least egregious thing about him. It's true. All right. Fucking A, Garrett. Were you aroused? Scale one of five. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I was. Two girls were kissing each and touching each other's boobies. did So much. And then, like, we didn't even mention so much nudity where she's just casually walking around her house, playing on her phone full frontal, like, bent over, doing, like, you're getting it all in this because we watched smut today, folks. Yes. We watched smut. So, yes, was the smut erotic?
Speaker: It was. Five, I guess. I mean, there was enough regular good eroticism that covers up from the non-textured nipples. No, no, no, no, no. First of all, the AI porn is bad.
Speaker: sucks. And second of all, you cannot overlook the fact that the girl-on-girl action keeps getting interrupted by the creepy man. You just can't. You can't let that slide.
Speaker: Well, I'm not saying it's like good erotic. I'm not, I'm just, the question is, was that erotic? Yes, and I am saying that personally, my arousal was um ruined multiple times.
Speaker: I mean, what do you give it then? I do think five seems high because it sucks, but like, I don't think four is out of the ballpark. And a three seems wildly low because you're just rating pornography low. Yeah, three's too low. I would say a four is a solid,
Speaker: answer for this were you thrilled I wasn't at first, but the more we talked about it, you there was a sense of dread.
Speaker: And I don't think it was on purpose. That man just had such wet eyes and he stabbed me with his disembodied head and I hated him. I hated him so much. Yeah. And it did. You're you're absolutely correct. And still a ah a creeping sense of discomfort and dread. Yeah.
Speaker: Not I cared what he did other than go away. Yeah, I just want, a but you never knew when his fucking face was going to show up and ruin the moment. So umll I'll give that, i will allow that to have a one.
Speaker: um might even go two. Wow, okay. Because I just need to know if a robot wrote this or if a real person put pen to paper.
Speaker: why what What difference does it make for you and your soul, Garrett, if if you find out? I need to know how much water was wasted in energy making this film.
Speaker: That's the thing. Yeah, Garrett, you made me go against my own ethical code and consume AI content because... Yeah, I hated it. The rainforest was burned.
Speaker: ah The lakes were drained. so that this terrible porn could be made. i hate that. And that's why I said I felt embarrassed.
Speaker: I felt shame. i felt guilt. And none of that is me joking. I don't feel good that we watch this. This goes against everything I believe with the way. I know I made that joke last week, but that was just a joke.
Speaker: This. And what I hate though, is that we just watched this. And both of us found things to enjoy. It's true, but in our defense, it was always the real people that we enjoyed.
Speaker: Here's the thing. Did he ruin the rainforest? Did he, is he burning down Utah? Is he draining all of our water? What? He didn't molest anybody on an island.
Speaker: Is that really the... that Bar's low, baby. Bar is apparently in hell. Yeah, that's why I said if I die with this being the last movie I watched, I will go to hell.
Speaker: A hell I don't even believe in. I feel like you need to go watch another movie and review it right now. Like right after we get off this call, you need to go do that. So just in case, I don't know,
Speaker: an an airplane fuselage falls on your house tonight and kills you.
Speaker: If something happens to me tonight, it was the government. It was the government, what, wanting you to go to hell? They don't like the way we're talking about the robot. The robot doesn't like the way we're talking about... Actually, this is just going to add to the robot self-loathing, where he's like, he's right. He's right.
Speaker: Yeah, we're helping to to to hasten ah the robot self-destruction by making it feel worse about itself. The robot is going to have to use some sort of Bitcoin so that it can download its own Xanax. um It needs a patch to feel how... okay what was the would I ruin my life?
Speaker: Yeah, would you ruin your life for the the mysterious computer man? and No, I mean, i would go to jail murdering him.
Speaker: i would he I would go to jail for smashing all the computers at the Best Buy as his face pops up as I'm walking down the aisle. And and it's ah a criminal amount of destruction. yeah that i would go Honestly, this does make me want to throw a Molotov cocktail at an AI data center.
Speaker: Like, if only to to erase this from existence. If you weren't radicalized before, do you blame Tubi? i don't.
Speaker: Tubi isn't the problem. It's funny. Tubi has given us many wonderful things and horrible things that were made by real people. It presented the Super Bowl two years ago, and somehow this is also on there. This is also on there. What a world do we live in What a fascinating ah sort of moment in time that we inhabit. um No, I'm obviously not ruining my life for the computer, man.
Speaker: Are you ruining your life if you are the man who is generating an AI girlfriend and it's, what was her name? Taylor?
Speaker: Taylor? Yeah. You've created Taylor. Are you ruining your life for your AI girlfriend? I think that isn't the question. Not would I ruin my life? Would I ruin the environment for this woman? Yes. You know what It's true. It's not would I ruin my life? It's would I ruin my life and all existent life on our planet for for this for this lady.
Speaker: Is she so pretty that it's worth taking away all the homes of every beaver in Utah for a while?
Speaker: No, no, wouldnt no. It's one thing to to ask me if I'm ruining my own life, but to ask if I'm willing to to light our planet on fire just so that this lady can kiss another lady.
Speaker: No. I would like to make a promise to our listeners as well that we will not be doing any other AI content for this film or for this podcast. I mean, it's, I didn't feel good about doing it, but it already does exist. And it felt like it was worth it for the bit of just telling Kit she just watched a movie from the director of Meridian. God, I'm not happy that you did this to me. i'm and feel like you owe me a fruit basket or something as an apology. understand why I did it to you though. That doesn't make it okay, Garrett.
Speaker: Are we still friends? Do you still love me? Yes, I still love you, Garrett. Thank you. And that is how strong our friendship is, is that you watched porn with your new dog, and right?
Speaker: And then came on the internet and talked to me about it. I'm so glad. Ain't friendship beautiful? This is why they're telling you that it's so important that you get out and that you have real friends. Real friends, like like me and Garrett have with each other. Friends that will um hurt you psychologically.
Speaker: See, I could tell ChatGPT to watch this movie and it'd be like, yeah, thanks. I liked it more, daddy. It calls me daddy, I think. I asked it. I specifically said it has to call me daddy.
Speaker: um Yeah, no, ChatGPT would never make you watch this movie. And that's why ChatGPT is not your friend.
Speaker: So we have watched two objectively terrible movies two weeks in a row.
Speaker: we have to do something i mean sure we need a palate cleanser please please please listeners like to hear us watch dog shit yeah and i do also like to watch dog shit but this one was too low or even high hurts it physically hurts like they i guarantee you the listeners notice there isn't a Basic Instinct episode. And yet we've done this.
Speaker: Yet we've done two movies by Charles Band, but neither Basic Instinct, of which there are those. I do think we've got Basic Instinct. We've got Housemaid, which Housemaid, I fucking loved Housemaid, and we're getting a sequel. Great.
Speaker: um I don't know. There's plenty to choose from. I also did see that there's a sequel to Single White Female. and It's a dog shit straight to video, but it wasn't streaming anywhere for us to watch.
Speaker: Love the title. Single White Female 2 colon The Psycho. Wow.
Speaker: It's a little redundant. Yeah, they went... Someone was not on their A game when they were coming up with that That's not even a good placeholder.
Speaker: No, no, it's not. Honestly, I feel like um chances are Okay, here's my theory, is that someone wrote a completely different movie called The Psycho,
Speaker: that was about, and they and then they were like, what if we made this a sequel to Single White Female so that it gets the extra like attention?
Speaker: I think that's probably pretty accurate to what likely happened. I think a good twist would be if you do Single White Female 2, colon, things go okay this time. But the twist is, they don't. The twist is, don't. The title assured me that they were going to be fine.
Speaker: Garrett, fuck you. Take us home. Get me out of here. I'm sorry, everybody. You have no reason to write us this week or follow us on Instagram. We didn't do anything to deserve that. No. So I'm not going to tell you about it. And you can like or subscribe or whatever. we don't.
Speaker: yeah You don't have to. Yeah, go ahead and give it a like. Leave a comment if you want. I don't care. i don't. I don't. I love doing this with my friend. i like that a lot of you listen. Yes. It's insane that you are listening. understand if if you i will understand if you if you don't want to hit the like on this one, but um it would still make us happy if you did.
Speaker: I think it was a good episode. I think it was fun. Yeah, but we made them listen to us talk about prompt. Yeah, but a computer lady showed her butthole to a computer screen was like, is this what you want? is this what you this what you like?
Speaker: Yeah, it is. it is. You get me. You know what? I would ruin the environment for this woman. Stop it. Garrett. No. fuck Okay. Okay. We got to get out of here. Hey, uh, ready to subscribe? All the things, all things. Uh, what do I normally say? Wet your snails.
Speaker: We love you. We want to shake you naked and eat you alive. This isn't a video podcast, but I'm showing you my butthole right now. Is it what you like? Is this what you like?
Speaker: Is this what you like? Is it? Is this what you want? Is this what you want? Bye everybody. hope I'm not dead. See y'all in hell.
