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00:00:00
00:00:01
Q&A Episode
81 Plays5 years ago
K and I answer listener submitted questions. Topics include personal/professional goals, nutrition, mindset/awareness, training, and more. Thank you for listening and sending.
If you have a question you'd like us to chat about, you can always email them to me at bill@btwntheears.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Session Overview
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello. Hello. We're so casual today. The dogs are out. We're taking Q and a could go really well or terribly. Yeah, it could go really poorly. Especially someone asked me, I was messaging with someone and they were saying how, if there was a script, we hide it really well.
00:00:30
Speaker
And I was like, no, there's no script. It's just holding on for dear life. Um, all right. So we put a thing up yesterday or last week rather, and gave people about seven minutes lead time to submit a question and actually got a couple after we stopped recording. Um, but wanted to kind of,
00:00:57
Speaker
Give people more time. Yeah, give people more time. And so put it up again. So this will be it's not a live video. Well, or whatever that kind of Facebook live thing is, but it's pretty much in real time. So I guess before that, the the whole Q&A type scenario is one that I sometimes have mixed feelings about.
Honesty in Q&A Responses
00:01:22
Speaker
Okay. Because
00:01:26
Speaker
I think it's important to ask questions and I think it's important to provide honest answers, but I also, and this is probably an insecurity of me, feel like sometimes it's like a little like, like, like don't want to be know at all. You know what I mean?
00:01:41
Speaker
Sure. I think some of the questions though, they're about us. So yeah, we hopefully know something about ourselves. Right. It's our perspective. So we're not pretending to know this is not the only answer for many of these things. It's our take on it. Yeah, exactly. That's,
Personal and Professional Goals for 2020
00:01:58
Speaker
that's the way to say it. Good. Um, all right. So I guess we'll just jump right in. I feel like we have to say like so and so from, you know, like Boise, Idaho wrote in with the question.
00:02:10
Speaker
Yes. I don't know. We didn't say the names. We won't say the names. We won't say the names. All right. So let me go through them. The first one is. Stand by. There were some from last week. I am not good at this whole thing, but okay. Here's one to start. This whole thing being life or organizing? No, mostly life. The camera's not on by the way.
00:02:38
Speaker
but yeah, it is. This green thing has just flipped. Okay. Um, okay. So what are some of your goals, both personal and professional for 2020? The old goals questions. Good question. It's a good, it's a good, it's a good start off question. Yeah. You want to go first while I go first. You're going to lock the dogs in the closet. Sure. Come on. Come.
00:03:10
Speaker
Goals for 2020. Should I just talk to our people here? One of my goals, I would say, is something we talked about in a couple of other podcasts, just finding the line of
00:03:35
Speaker
discipline, I guess, versus, you know, being connected to what's right for me that day. So that also leads to the notion of being present, which I think is sort of an overused term, but just trying to be, to be able to be in the moment and not have everything be I should. So,
00:04:03
Speaker
As it relates to training, I was saying being connected with what I feel and I need, not necessarily what I feel like I should do, which kind of goes back to our thing about discipline and
00:04:18
Speaker
being present so for me that's like a goal personally to be a little bit more. Are you staying with training or in life in general? I guess just in life in general. I mean present is such an overused term but yeah but I do feel like for me like awareness um which requires being present
00:04:39
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it's overused, but it's not used enough. It's not implemented enough. So I could say that about my training, like not just doing what's like, okay, it's Tuesday. So, and I should, I should go hard because I haven't gone hard for two days or any of that stuff with us. I think it would be like we talked about, you talked with our friend about the relationship language. I forget what it was called.
00:05:03
Speaker
the Amago, the Amago dialogue. So being able to, it's like a way to, to talk to each other, to like be more present and hear what the other person's saying, not just be reactive. So from that place, um, you know, those would be two things. And I think those contribute a lot to when I find myself not doing well is deviating from that. So that would be personal goals.
00:05:29
Speaker
All right. I'll go personally. You can think about professional cause you've been talking for a long time. Um, personal goal for me is to have more fun. So I don't know how that relates to the fuck fun t-shirt, but.
00:05:51
Speaker
That's a goal. It honestly, it's not like a joke about it at all, but, and for years I've been kind of being a little silly about it. Like, I don't know how to have fun and stuff, but man. Um, but I mean, like, so that's a goal. What do you think you would have to do? So like for me, some of the tools would have to be.
00:06:12
Speaker
being more connected to how I feel taking that time, maybe implementing that Amago language, like asking certain questions to get me to be present. What would be a tool for you? Because you can say that, but there has to be action there.
00:06:29
Speaker
This is something that Julian and I were talking about out in San Diego and it's like finding an activity that you can learn. That's the challenge is like not being tied to something that is very strongly integrated into either past or present that has me interacting with other people. Um, you know, kind of getting outside of some comfort zones type deal.
00:06:56
Speaker
Any ideas? Well, I mean, obviously the first thing that comes to mind is skydiving, getting back up in the air and jumping again. That's something I would really like to do. Yeah. Spring is coming. Spring is coming. Um, I would also like to, I would also like to learn something completely new as well. Um,
00:07:24
Speaker
and have fun in that process. Like physical or non-physical? Or do you care? Like chugging? Yeah, that's not fun to me. Okay.
00:07:35
Speaker
Um, yeah, some, some sort of either like something in like maybe the, like in art, um, it doesn't have to be, I want there to be some sort of, like, I don't want it to just be studying. I do enough with that. Um, something involving, like for example, the wood carving, like a skill, like a skill. Yeah. Like, so I have that wood carving thing I'd like to get into. That's a little bit of a bot on your own type thing. Uh, but something that is.
00:08:06
Speaker
Not a stepping- You can come to ballet with me.
00:08:10
Speaker
Something that is not a, I was going to say a stepping stone, but like something that's not for a very direct use. Just fun for the sake of fun. Fun for the sake of fun. And really see like, can I have fun? Because some of all of that. So, but that's a, that's a personal goal. And that ties into it. We've been trying to have more social interaction, which is good. That's going better. Yeah. Professionally is a big one. Yeah.
00:08:40
Speaker
We sort of, I've been hinting at things. So we do have some plans professionally combined, but I guess without saying anything about that or being specific, I mean, professionally for me, that's much easier to say than personally, it would be to really align. Like what I believe in and what I'm passionate about as it relates to what I do, which is fitness and helping people and
00:09:09
Speaker
whole realm with like the model and executing it like how I do that so like currently the women's group that's a
00:09:18
Speaker
Yeah, that's been big for you. That's a big thing for me. Like I feel like that's on par with really executing something that is about what I believe about fitness. I'm not sort of compromising in any way in that and having to say, well, this doesn't really work because of this and this and this. So more of those type of things would be my professional goal and aligning that and being able to see that, you know, to fruition.
00:09:47
Speaker
does part of your professional goal involve wearing all Motown gear? You've got the hat. You've got the sweatshirt. If you were wearing the pants, you'd be three or three or the socks. Oh, you're 50% there. It's not that much. Anyway, go on. Sorry. Yeah. My professional goal would be to kind of take between the ears to the next level. Um, both in terms of,
00:10:16
Speaker
more ongoing interaction with folks as well as getting out in front of different audiences. Right now that's happening. The network is global and that is really really awesome. I would like to interact and engage and get in front of some of these folks's own little areas and little groups and little tribes
00:10:45
Speaker
Like you've kind of now you're getting the right people and now expanding to the right people's people. Yeah. Yeah. The right people are definitely being attracted to between the years and engaging. And it's taken a few years to get there. But that's good.
00:11:02
Speaker
veterans, veterans initiative. That's a big one for me as well. So those are some of the professional goals, how those come about. We'll see. Um, but yeah, there's definitely stuff in the works. So there are some, there's, yeah. Yeah. There's things in the works. All right. Which is cool. If, um, anybody has any sort of suggestions,
00:11:26
Speaker
for us, for our goals? Well, no, like if, or if it's like, Oh yeah. Hey, this made me think of that. You know, I was talking with, um, I was talking with a client out in San Diego and he was like, Hey, you know, kind of, we were talking a little bit about between years. It was really cool. Cause you know, West coast, obviously we're East coast and was able to share some time. And obviously the strong foot seminar was, was cool. Yeah.
00:11:53
Speaker
And we were just kind of talking about it. He's like, you know, I just, he's like, it's so hard to articulate to people. People ask me about it. It's so hard to articulate to them. Like what the heck it is. He's like, I have to just show you. Yeah. And, um, and obviously that's like a, an egg that I've been trying to crack and.
00:12:07
Speaker
But when you think about it, CrossFit is kind of that. We've said that before, too, with people talk on the phone. And it's like, well, how does that work? And this work? And it's like, the best way to experience it is really just you've got to do it, because we can talk all day. So I think as it becomes more familiar, that's probably less and
Teaching Nutrition to Kids
00:12:27
Speaker
less of it. Yeah. And my point was like, hey, I'm also asking for help in this.
00:12:34
Speaker
if you have if you have ideas like there's a lot there's a lot of smart people out there who have amazing experiences and You know, I'm asking for help. So anyway, all right. Cool. That's that question. That's that question. Oh, I think we got some more actually coming in buzzer beater questions What are some of your goals how did you approach teaching nutrition to your kids Good question. It was a great question, you know
00:13:04
Speaker
The kids have kind of, our kids have been on, whether they like it or not, they've been part of the journey I've gone on with fitness and nutrition. So I will say a couple of things. You know, I've had my own struggles with food and you know, like that's, I've always been very aware to try not to expose them, like very aware of how I speak about food.
00:13:35
Speaker
When especially when I was in an unhealthy relationship with it, so I think first off with kids being very aware of using words like good food bad food I know those are sort of general like yeah, yeah, but
00:13:49
Speaker
you know not you're saying using or not using yeah like not using that association with food just always trying to talk about food and food choices from a place of health um and then for the kids like we've always treated them um
00:14:10
Speaker
you know like I feel like trying to have them learn understand and learn it's not really just like do this because I said so right so I think we've involved them in the conversation and explaining now that said sure I don't subscribe to the kids should never have sugar like I understand that like we don't all need to have sugar I totally get that my personal belief is like I think that
00:14:36
Speaker
it's okay for kids to have some sugar, but also understanding like the principles of nutrition, how the body works. Hey, when you do this, this is kind of what happens. This is how it can really impact like how you think your brain, how to use food for like the best, you know, the best it can be used for those types of things. But for us, I think the big thing that people can take away who maybe don't understand all the like details of nutrition are,
00:15:07
Speaker
your kids should be eating pretty much what you're eating. Yeah. I was going to say, I think that's, I think modeling, I think modeling behavior, um, and inclusivity is, is a big one. And that's a tough one because 99% of people that, that think about food as it relates to health and wellness usually go to lose weight, look better. Yeah.
00:15:36
Speaker
Your kids, like Marcus and Olivia did not sign up for that. And so thinking about how you're modeling your behavior, what you're, you're teaching them something, even if you have no frigging idea that you're doing it, they are watching, they are listening, they are seeing, they are mirroring.
00:15:57
Speaker
And so I think to just kind of like inhale, exhale and relax for a second and just be like, okay, what's the, the context of this is going to be educating them and empowering them so that in 15 years they can have a healthy relationship with it. Not so that they, you know, there's a lot of kids in your class and are overweight. Like no.
00:16:17
Speaker
I think there are things that people can do as a family like we watched Food Inc. at an early age and someone did say to me once like how inappropriate that was and I thought like of all the things your kids are playing video games and watching movies like but you don't want your kid to see how cows and the industrialization of food and it's something that they're eating like I don't understand. So I think exposing them to some of those documentaries talking about it
00:16:43
Speaker
Hey, what do you think about this? Obviously at an age where it's appropriate because they can have a discussion about it. But for our dinners, and this is something, the number one thing I would say, like, I never made the kids special food. They ate what we ate. We introduced them to a lot of vegetables. So how can somebody then, and I think that's great, but if someone listening is like, well, that's great. You did that. I didn't.
00:17:07
Speaker
Okay. And now it's, it's chicken nuggets and, you know, pizzas and whatever. What would you, without saying like, you know, this is what you do and, you know, telling parents how to parent or giving advice, given your extensive background and working, you know, and raising them, what would you, how would you recommend someone start to maybe
00:17:33
Speaker
I guess it depends on the kid's age. Like I think if they're little, I mean really and truly like if your kids are eight and under nine and under, I'm not saying it's going to be easy. And I've been there too, where it's like your kid wants this and you're saying no.
00:17:51
Speaker
Yeah. And then especially when we know what happens with sugar and addiction, they're going to freak the fuck out. Right. Just preparing for that. The crazy thing is, because I've been there two days and it's like it never happened. They're all of a sudden like fine. So the littler kids, it's a little bit like, hey, you're in charge. I'm making this decision. I messed up and now I'm going to change it. Yeah. The older kids, I think it really is like being patient, having some education around it.
00:18:22
Speaker
But that does require like taking your time, talking about it, like some of the things like you said, like bringing it back to, okay, let's all have dinner together, sitting down, starting to get the like socialization back, not eating on the go, not having it be about a snack, changing what's in your house. So there's just stuff that's not available, like,
00:18:44
Speaker
I get it, kids are gonna go and they're gonna get snacks with their friends and they have access as they get older to other things, but you don't have to have that stuff in your house. And we go through with the kids, like, Olivia will make a salad, Marcus wants a peanut butter and jelly, Marcus will eat carbohydrates until he, like, collapse.
00:18:59
Speaker
He also has started cooking, like encouraging if there's any interest in that, maybe we can all cook together, like just whatever it is for you. And I think it's best starting with something that's interesting to you. If you find it interesting, you like to cook, that's probably a good place to start. If you find it fascinating to like, or you want to set a really nice table or like make that a deal, like start with that. But involving them in some way and starting to like educate because it's not going to be overnight.
00:19:30
Speaker
But it is. It does. That's where I think we're so used to that instant kind of thing like, oh, like this is never going to work. Just forget it. Yeah. But if you can kind of. Yeah. I think that when I think about to the kids and like.
00:19:44
Speaker
when they ask questions about some of their chats or conversations or whatever, then that's like, okay, they're learning. Not that, oh, they don't know. And so instead of having it be like, all right, kids, this is a carbohydrate, this is a protein, this is a fat, because now it's going to be like memorization. And it's going to be like, I go to school from eight to three. I don't want to be like, and so not having it be so formal. Sure.
00:20:13
Speaker
But there's a great opportunity every morning and night to just have it be part of like there.
Mindfulness and Awareness Techniques
00:20:21
Speaker
I think the last thing that was from a parent side, and again, not, this is from my own experience and, you know, not judging any parents, but I think we do need to like, food should also taste good. Like,
00:20:38
Speaker
If like putting some time and effort into like, okay, if I really want my kids to eat healthy, like maybe I need to also invest in like, you know, like maybe once a week, it's like, we're going to try to cook a meal that really tastes good and just putting a little bit of effort into that. Yeah, that's a good point. So, um, I think that's, but yeah, we certainly, if you have other questions on that, happy to get into more input, you know, one to one.
00:21:08
Speaker
Okay. Moving on. Okay. Methods you use or recommend for being more mindful of habitual reactions. That's a big question. Yeah. That might be like a whole podcast. That's a big question. Well, I think we can address it now because then there's also this other one that was very similar thoughts on bringing awareness to things we might otherwise do on autopilot.
00:21:40
Speaker
Right. So I think we can, I think we can dedicate maybe an entire episode to that. However, I don't want to skirt the question because we said we would talk about them. So I think.
00:21:53
Speaker
I think right off the bat, something people can do versus getting into this contextual thing. Journal. Journaling is something that is a, it's a method, it's a tool, it's a resource. It costs however much paper and pen costs. And it is something that allows you to uncover
00:22:13
Speaker
what you're doing, maybe that you didn't rationally or logically know, like the autopilot element. And so what journaling does is I think the process of writing it by hand, as well as the need to pause the autopilot and habit and habit thing is the absence of the pause and are things that you're not really actually thinking about. Hence the name. So when you sit down to journal,
00:22:44
Speaker
you pause, you have to think, you know, and just, and, and, and connect to what you think and feel. And then the physical act of writing out is
00:22:58
Speaker
is amazing. And I've been working with people on this because there's quite a few people who over the past month or two, you know, they've reached out and they've, they're like, Hey, I love what you're doing. I want to get into it, but the journaling. And I'm like, yeah, I know it's hard because you know, you probably fill every second with something.
00:23:21
Speaker
And I know that because I do it, too. We all do it. Like, hey, you're sitting, you're bored. Let me flip through Instagram. Hey, you're not really sure what to do. Reach for carbohydrate. Hey, like you feel it. So.
00:23:37
Speaker
Securing and honoring the space for you to pause and be with yourself and check in with yourself and then clean out some stuff in your head. I think is a way to un-flip the autopilot switch is to examine your habits from a hopefully a place of non-judgment and objectivity.
00:23:59
Speaker
And it's really awesome. What I've experienced with people and with working with people is that I'll often have to check in on them about how they're approaching their journal practice.
00:24:13
Speaker
So don't approach it like you're going to uncover enlightenment and know what the meaning of life is every single time. It's just the process. Just go through it. Well, and I think you've had a couple people who've said like one of their hesitations with journaling is like,
00:24:32
Speaker
Which I think is a totally reasonable concern. Like what if someone finds it? What if someone reads it? Like it's not about collecting your thoughts in a journal. Like for sure some people might want to go back and revisit them. It's about getting it out. And so you could tear it out of the page and burn it or throw it away. It doesn't like I rarely go back. Some of it I can't even read. But I think also because what we've discovered is like there's a lot of things that kind of keep coming up and
00:25:00
Speaker
you get some clarity on them. The other day, I had an experience that I realized in it, like, okay, this is what I, we've talked about it, like caring about other people's opinion, like, not opinions, like, oh, I wonder if that person thinks I'm pretty or something, but like,
00:25:19
Speaker
If something happens, I invest so much into something I can't control, which is what that person's perspective was. And I'm like, someone I don't even know. And in that, I wasn't somewhere where I could journal. I was in the middle of a walk. But I stopped, I physically stopped, and I closed my eyes, and I took a couple deep breaths, and I talked to myself. What did you say? And I said, okay, you cannot control this. You're not gonna let, this is, I kind of established this is one of the,
00:25:48
Speaker
This is what I do. Like I saw that. Yeah. And so my right now what I took to move forward to not let this ruin a perfectly great day and. Sure.
00:26:00
Speaker
totally absorb me is like, I need to let that go. Yeah. And like. Right. I can't control it. So I think at least the stopping, if you're in a place where you can't journal. Yeah. The journaling is the coming to that place of being able to recognize it is because of doing work like journaling. Yeah. But in the moment. Sure. Like, you know, and I know it's like not nothing new to say like, okay, count to 10. The reason for that is like breathing. I think the breathing is huge if you're in a state like. Yeah.
00:26:29
Speaker
We're in an argument, like for us, it would probably do us a lot of good to like stop and breathe and like, okay, let's just, because it's that pause, if it's not journaling something to, but it's all part of being able to recognize it. If you're not recognizing it, because you're not doing the work to recognize it, you're not going to have the foresight to say like, oh, we need to stop.
00:26:50
Speaker
Right, I agree. I talked about this on whatever podcast it was, doesn't matter. A tool, a framework, a lens that I like to also, that I use often, and we use it on you that one time where I was driving to wherever.
00:27:08
Speaker
And you weren't having a meltdown, but you were definitely like asking some serious questions. And I think the underlying element of like in the moment and on autopilot and habitual reactions, there's an underlying lack of awareness. And so the question then is, well, how do I improve or how do I become, how do I display awareness in real time? And it's like, well, yes, answer that for yourself. Like, how can you?
00:27:36
Speaker
Something that has helped me is going through a progression. What do I see? What do I think? What do I feel in that order? Even though what you feel is gonna be stronger than what you think, which is gonna be stronger than maybe what you see. The point is by going through that, you see small little thing. What do I see? You don't have to really think right now.
00:28:00
Speaker
I mean you mean like literally like if you're driving what do I see I see cars I see the trees like really just what you see not some theory no not what I see like so so if I'm yeah like if I'm going through something what do I see right now going into detail
00:28:20
Speaker
about what I see. I'm looking at Kay. She's, she has, what color are your eyes? I don't even know. They're cool. First time ever guys. Oh my God. So, but like, but like looking at, looking at her eyes and her eyelashes and her eyebrows and she's wearing a black broom hat that has
00:28:40
Speaker
going through something like truly, what you're doing is you're painting a picture for the environment that you're in, which is an element of how you interact with it. What do you think? What are you thinking? So let's use the example, not of this sitting here, but
00:29:03
Speaker
We get in an argument. You're saying whatever I'm saying, whatever, and it's not good. All right. And what do I see? And I look, and I literally where I am, I identify what I see and I, and I paint that picture. What do I think in that moment? Like I am thinking of
00:29:25
Speaker
Right. Like I'm thinking Kay's being selfish right now. Yeah. I'm thinking that I went through, I, I did this, this, this, and that. And I, and it means a lot to me and she didn't acknowledge it. And now she's asked me to do that, that, that, and that.
00:29:46
Speaker
And I'm like pretty pissed off. All right, what do you feel? Like there's two parts to the what do you feel? There's what's the emotion? Like I feel unacknowledged, taken for granted, alone, sad, resentful, whatever that is.
00:30:05
Speaker
That's great to have the kind of labeling of it, but more importantly or not more importantly, equally as important is physically. How does that, what are the sensations that come with feeling resentful? What are the sensations that come with?
00:30:21
Speaker
Right, so I might feel my heart beating through my chest, I might feel the muscles in my jaw start to clench, I might feel my teeth against each other, I might feel my face getting a little bit red, my skin getting a little bit hot, I might feel
00:30:40
Speaker
tension in my gut. So like those types of things. And that can help raise awareness. Now we use sort of like a negative example, but that can also be used
Customizing Fitness Routines
00:30:52
Speaker
anywhere. What do I see? What do I think? What do I feel? Well, it's also stopping you from just reacting because you're
00:30:57
Speaker
going through this process and in that process, right. And so what it strives to do is to, is to link, you know, in a lowest hanging fruit progression, progressive way, your emotional and irrational minds, because, and, and I think today I coached a class
00:31:20
Speaker
We started out on the rowers and we started slow. We did some warming up. And I was trying to explain to them that.
00:31:30
Speaker
Because I think most people are so out of touch with how they feel. And that's something you've been looking at a lot lately, which is why we can go through a whole podcast about this. But people aren't used to acknowledging how they feel. We kind of are used to like pushing that away. Like, don't be weak. Oh, who cares? Like, you know, whatever. And the rational mind takes over, but your body is sending you those signs. And that's a way for you to cultivate awareness. Okay. Shit. Like I really feel completely exhausted after doing five minutes of over warm up.
00:31:59
Speaker
What is your body trying to tell you? You can override that and say, no, I'm going to get after it today, which kind of goes into another question. Yeah. Um, yeah. And so what are some other things I'd be, I'd be lying to you if I said, if I didn't say that the between years practice will fundamentally improve your awareness.
00:32:18
Speaker
Yeah, that's the tool that it's meant to be. Yeah, and that's what it's about. That doesn't mean that you're never going to go on autopilot. That doesn't mean that you're never going to fall into old habits or patterns or anything like that. But you'll be armed and equipped with the awareness, and that what you choose to do with it is going to be on you. And the practice has some grounding anchors, which is cool, like concepts that you can kind of go, oh, yeah, OK. Let me think about that as it relates to this. Yeah.
00:32:59
Speaker
you know methods you recommend for being more mindful habitual done programming here we go so on back to the work outside programming for how you are feeling versus what's written on the whiteboard so it interesting kind of to piggyback on that um so recently i guess i'll frame it recently we've over the past i don't know year two years whatever it might be we've been implementing
00:33:10
Speaker
Alright, moving on cause we gotta keep the screen rolling.
00:33:24
Speaker
predominantly the principles of strong fit and really learning and experimenting and digging in and sharing and all of that. And why we have, why we have decided to share that with others that trust us with their fitness and their health is because we've seen significant improvements physically, mentally, emotionally, a underlying concept.
00:33:52
Speaker
is that what we do should be based off of where we are. What we do for a workout should be based off of our our body and what we're capable of that day. So back to what we were saying with some of the physical signs. Right. Like where your body is at should really be guiding
00:34:15
Speaker
more so what you do that day, not just your brain. And I think we have it. Not even, not just the brain, not even, but just, I mean, someone else's agenda. This goes kind of into the story thing from last week. Somebody else's agenda, programming, whatever, you name it. That's gonna determine then what you do. And it's like, well, why? Is that best for you?
00:34:44
Speaker
Right. I think the challenge is forever. I mean, this is sort of newer, a newer, I think the whole concept of connecting and acknowledging the body mind connection is certainly newer. Now that's as old as Darwin, ironically, and like, it's as old as time. Yeah. But, but now we're saying like, Oh, okay. Maybe there's like something we need to look at here. I think the fitness industry is.
00:35:13
Speaker
Is catching up very slowly, but it's like the last thing to come around because People are very attached to like they want to it's so much easier when people just hand them instructions But as you said, that's someone else's agenda us putting on the board. You're gonna do this. You're gonna go really crazy today That's just that's just picking things out of thin air right attaching that to where someone else is at
00:35:40
Speaker
is not best for them. So we've been programming but trying to distribute and execute that workout in different ways for what different people might need.
00:35:54
Speaker
Yeah. And I think that we're also not saying don't ever have a plan. Don't ever have a template or don't ever follow along because you know, the reality of it is for somebody who is not in, who's not an operator within the fitness space, who's not really coaching, but wants to train and Joyce training pop up, up needs to use their body for something.
00:36:18
Speaker
Yeah. You don't really know or you don't want to know or you kind of know, but want some help. So there's, there's, there's a ton of value to having somebody give you, but I guess my, my answer would be use what's there as a starting point, as a recommendation. Sure.
00:36:35
Speaker
and then if it falls in line, if it's thawed out, if you're just pulling stuff out of thin air, again, fine, but understand that your approach to it is generally random. And it's just like, okay, so your fitness is gonna be based on a certain set of, you know. I think one of the things that's helpful in terms of a structure, so like I talked about it today with them, generally speaking, maybe in the course of a week,
00:37:05
Speaker
guiding people to like, there should be, if you're a generally healthy person, right? We all have days that are good. We have days that were a little more tired. There's kind of in any given week, we have good days and bad days. We have, you know, good sleep days. We have less than good sleep days, whatever. But in the course of a week, generally speaking, you're probably going to have a day where you really go hard. You feel really good. And you're like, yes, like I want to really kind of push myself today.
00:37:32
Speaker
You're gonna have probably a day where you're like, I don't feel good at all. I didn't sleep. I went out. I maybe had alcohol. I had sugar. Whatever it is. I'm just down. Whatever. So that's gonna be a day where like, yeah, you're just going like super chill. Your whole goal is just to like calm yourself down. Just not stress your system.
00:37:53
Speaker
You're probably going to want to have a day where you like, it's more about like you can connect to like your muscles, not just about your heart rate getting up. I want to feel like where are my lats? Where are my chest? Okay. And then there's probably going to be a couple days, one, two days that are like generally like a normal kind of workout. It's not that crazy. It's not that easy.
00:38:15
Speaker
But like figuring out when, what day, yes, that is very challenging. We struggle with that. I mean, it's not an easy thing, but that's what we're saying. Like some of the signs. So when you're warming up, part of the warmup is to kind of give you an idea. Like, yeah, like, man, this does not, I do not feel great. I'm just not fired up today. That's probably an indicator. Like maybe today is not that day to really go crazy. That sort of thing. So.
00:38:43
Speaker
Yeah. And I would say, and I agree. I would also say though, like how many days like that are you saying? And so the bigger question is where, how, how are you really like approaching whatever, wherever fitness falls in with your life? What's the purpose of you? So for some cases, we'll say a games athlete.
00:39:09
Speaker
Well, that's, let's not talk about games. Well, let me just go down a couple of examples. Games athlete, someone who's a competitive fitness enthusiast. Right. Because of what you signed up for in the context of the relationship, there's less choice. Like if you want to do this, then you have to do it. Okay.
00:39:30
Speaker
First responder, military, law enforcement. What's your mission profile? What's your op tempo? Where are you? Kind of same thing. You don't really have a choice. You're signed up, you have responsibility. But you do too though. Joe Maisley is doing this with grid athlete. He's saying like, and I love it because he put up a thing one time saying,
00:39:49
Speaker
Yeah, I went, let's just say it was DT. He's like, it was not responsible. I went too hard on DT because I was at on hour three of a 24 hour shift in a latter company. So like if you're a first responder, law enforcement, and you're smashing Fran right when you get to the house so you can chill the rest of the time, like what do you need to do?
00:40:11
Speaker
The average person, the normal person, like what are your, why do you enjoy coming to the gym? What is it? How do you approach coming to the gym, fitness, whatever? And if there's more days than not that you're just like, I'm just low energy. That's what we need to figure out. Not what you're going to do. No, I think there's a couple of things. One is not just why are you coming and do you enjoy it? There are people that say they enjoy coming, but it's like, what is it?
00:40:40
Speaker
doing for you because if it's a little bit destructive in terms of what it's doing for you, like we've talked about, like, well, I feel, I feel good when I leave the gym. If I like did really well on a workout or I got a good score versus like physically, I feel good. I feel like actually I'm in a good mood. I feel like physically connecting to that feeling.
00:40:59
Speaker
But yes, I think it's a good indicator to connect with how you feel. And if you're every day you're saying, man, I really don't feel like working out. Yeah, that's a sign too. Now we got to look at that. If every day you're saying like, I got to crush this workout physically, that's probably not, it's not possible. And it's like, well, why is that? So trying to get to a place where you, you find like, okay, there's some sort of balance here. That's what we want. So.
00:41:24
Speaker
not just abiding by like someone else saying, today's the day you're gonna crush yourself and today's the day you're not, it doesn't make sense. We're not, we're individual people with individual lives. So just because we're all together for that hour, we're saying like, that doesn't make sense. Right, and if someone's training on their own, I always say this, like, are you training or are you exercising? Because if you're training, you're training for something. Not, I'm training for life. No. Then you're exercising for life.
00:41:54
Speaker
I would just say question, just, just question it. And the snatch is a great example. The amount of people that fuck themselves up by snatching. Yeah.
00:42:08
Speaker
Why? Why are you doing it? We're not saying never snatch again, but like if you're snatching every single week and your shoulder is constantly in this nagging pain where your back hurts and you're an everyday exercise and you haven't done a competition and you haven't and you're not a athlete that like basically an Olympic weightlifter. How do you feel after that? How is it?
00:42:32
Speaker
How is it contributing to your overall fitness? Right and if it's like well because they say so who crossfit your local gym you and me Influencers whoever that might be they're not right. They're not wrong. But like what is it to you? How how are you controlling? Your story and how are you writing that and if you feel pressured if you feel like well, that's what we do Do we? Why? Yeah, this should
00:43:01
Speaker
And I think there was another question that might as well roll into about that sort of when to feel, when to kind of push through that and when to honor. Yeah. So here we go. Fatigue and training, when to shut it down and when to push through the tired. Yeah. So I think it's an interesting thing, kind of what we were saying is like, well, is it that you're physically tired?
00:43:31
Speaker
Is it fatigue and like, Oh my God, I'm so burnt out on training. So I think there's a couple of things. And I, and I think if you're always tired because your job is like super demanding and you're like, yes, I am tired, like, and it makes sense that I'm tired. Well, this particular person, we won't drop any names. Yeah. She has a very demanding job. Very demanding job. Very important job for everyone else as well. Yeah. So like that's.
00:44:01
Speaker
So I would say that person, yeah, like, they would prop my recommendation and be like, Yeah, you probably do need to pull back quite a bit and dose yourself very carefully. And if you do that, you could probably maximize, like your situation. But if it is like forcing it, I think you're going to find yourself in like a very dangerous like little
00:44:26
Speaker
cycle so I think I think it's not like just because you're I think if you're careful with it there's still a place for someone to like for that person to like go hard for sure yeah
00:44:40
Speaker
But the volume is going to be a huge thing. The frequency, that person might be, it might be best for their fitness, for their health, for everything to like work out like three times a week max. Yeah. But the attachment to, well, I used to work out six times a week. Like, is this enough? And I totally get that. But understanding like it's that quality over quantity. So,
00:45:03
Speaker
you know, that might be three times a week might be just right to not be tired, to have it be something that does help you with your energy and doesn't put you in the hole. But pushing past, but finding that right balance. And if you're like, all right, I've been working out four times a week and I'm just always tired, something, it's an indicator that something's not quite right. Yeah. We always have to look at the bigger picture and
00:45:25
Speaker
on today, today's experience might not give up. Today's experience is just one. If we're looking at it through a straw, we only see a limited amount. When we look at it with wide field of view, then we see more. I feel like for both of these questions, the tool of framing or reframing really is what I immediately come to with like, that's what we need to do. We need to reframe
00:45:51
Speaker
our approach and our relationship with fitness. We need to drop the judgment. We need to drop the history. We need to drop the, all of the outside noise and simply get to know fitness and our relationship with fitness again. And we can reframe that to have a much more healthy, a much more healthy relationship where
00:46:18
Speaker
If you were on a sailboat, Tim Chan is going to demand that I do sailing lessons now because of me never having sailing. I'll say this, if you're skydiving, if you're under a canopy,
00:46:32
Speaker
Where's the wind go? Like the direction of the wind. There's going to be those days where that wind, if you, and you throw that sail up or you turn and you have the wind behind you and like you are going to be screaming. It's like, right. Yes, that's great. There's also those times where you're going to have to fly into the wind or if you, if the wind is coming at you and you throw yourself and like it doesn't catch and you're fighting to survive. So like, how can you adjust your sails or how can you adjust your canopy so that this wind, this energy propels you to go where you want to go?
00:47:02
Speaker
not just fighting against it, not just fighting against it. And, you know, let's not be, some people feel like, well yesterday and I, and I'm speaking about myself, like, but I loved how yesterday, like I caught the wind and it like just, that was awesome. I just want that again. But every day,
00:47:21
Speaker
It can't be that. Every day is not going to be that day. And so I think we get a little bit addicted to that good day, that win. And so we just want every, we're going to force it to be that. And if the wind is not going that way, you can't make it. Yeah. And I think there's a fundamental thing of some things we know constantly dipping, constantly re constantly going level 10 intensity day after day. It's not a long-term sustainable option.
00:47:52
Speaker
is not a long-term sustainable option. If you don't want to accept the fact that you're going to break yourself, possibly become disordered thinking on a healthy relationship. And if you're, if you're training for professional sport, Hey, that's part of the job. Like, well, and those people have their life set up probably very differently to like have other factors, everything trying to other, anything else is working for them.
00:48:20
Speaker
So like if you take a games athlete, for example, they just train. Usually their spouse, their coach, they have a support team that is helping them what they eat. If they're not doing anything else, they're recovering. So that's not the average person. So now you try to do that, but now you got to worry about your kids, your job, your food.
00:48:38
Speaker
It is not going to turn out the same. You cannot sustain that. Right. Now somebody who's, who enjoys training, working out, whatever, doesn't have any aspirations of being a professional athlete knows they're not one. We, we can really look at what do you want to get?
00:48:59
Speaker
Yeah. And we're not saying not, what do you want to get out of fitness? I mean, I love training. I love working out. I love exercising. That's been something that's been part of my life for a very long time. I've had to reframe it and every day is a little bit different. The workout, how I feel. And I'm also learning. So why do you train? So why do you train? Why do you train the way you do? Why do you eat the way you do? Why do you, why do you engage in fitness and health and wellness the way you do?
00:49:30
Speaker
I mean, I don't know that it's super deep and complicated. Like I really enjoy it. I mean, it brings me like today when I went to them, I, I like connecting to my body. It is energizing. I feel good. I feel in a good, like some, depending on the workout, sometimes there's like, it's also time for myself. I do enjoy that. There's like time where there's not a lot of other things I'm thinking about considering it's kind of a pause in my life.
00:50:01
Speaker
I do want to be healthy. I, that's important to me of a value. So nutrition and those things all fall in line with that. But for me, it is also like a very fine line between like what that means about who I am. So like, if I take two days off in a row, that's not like, that doesn't like, I have a lot of rules that I've created for myself.
00:50:27
Speaker
And now I have awareness about those rules, like who made those rules and why wouldn't I be able to take two days off for three days? What does it matter? But I think that's the process. And so it's like, okay, for me, it helps to remind myself, like.
00:50:40
Speaker
If I'm not feeling like working out, honoring that feeling, there's a reason why I'm not really fired up to go to the gym. Is there another place I could go or could I go for a walk or what's the thing? So that tomorrow I can continue to get all those things that I like about training. Because if I fight the wind, then in two days from now or three days or next week, hating working out, dreading going in there, now I'm not getting any of those positive things out of it. Right.
00:51:10
Speaker
So I have found that like, and I have to keep reminding myself that, but it is about the quality and not the quantity and not the rules and not the attachment to these made up things. And I have found from a performance, like, you know, performance, I say that like meaning. Yeah. Execution of fitness from a mental state, like enjoying it, wanting to go and do things.
00:51:36
Speaker
and body composition, like all three of those things are moving in the right direction. When I, it's not like if I skipped two days to the gym, I gained 10 pounds. I mean, and I think it's important for people to hear that because I know that is part of people's thing. Like all the things should go in the right direction of positive. And I think often we're like, well, yeah, like maybe you like feel good about your body composition, but you feel like when you work out, you don't want to go to the gym. Like there's something wrong there.
00:52:07
Speaker
it should all be going in the positive. Yeah, I think it's one of those things with people who can't let go of
00:52:18
Speaker
what they should do, the templates, the numbers, the quantification of it. And I would say like, what is the gym saying? What is your exercise saying about you that you can actually say about yourself? And not to say that this, whoever submitted this question, but that's a common thing. It's just like, well, I have to come to the gym or I have to do this. I have to do this. And it's like, you're, you're kind of,
00:52:46
Speaker
you're subscribing to this other thing, this other set of rules that aren't maybe in line with who you are. And I would say one of the, and this isn't, I don't want this to sound like a sales pitch and there's other people that do this. It's not just us. Yeah. But one of the things that has helped me that I know has helped other people, me working with them and me working with a coach,
00:53:11
Speaker
is having someone to help guide that process. So it's a very like, you're not just in a vacuum where it's like, what do I want to do today? I have no idea. I could do this, I could do this, I could do this. Having someone kind of be like, all right, here are some ideas. Let's try to work towards like what that might feel like today and someone that's sort of a guide. So if someone is struggling with that, there are, and again, it's not a sales pitch, but like that's where coaching as a like,
00:53:40
Speaker
programming, working with someone as a coach for the fitness side can be really helpful. Like giving a little bit of guidance, not just throwing out there and saying, figure it out. How do you feel? Cause I know that's extremely, it can be paralyzing and very frustrating. It really is. And it really can be. And, you know, one of my clients is.
00:54:00
Speaker
a good athlete, really good athlete. And we see it time and time again, where, you know, you do these things kind of mindlessly. You do these things on autopilot, you do these things just because of what they say. And if we ask ourselves, like, is who's in control here? Is the workout controlling me or am I controlling the workout?
00:54:24
Speaker
And yeah, that sounds all well and good and simple. I'll tell you, he's been digging in and doing the work and making some amazing changes and transformations because he's taking back his life. And the power of movement and the power of exercise is non-negotiable.
00:54:49
Speaker
Your brain doesn't care if you're doing muscle ups and snatches. Like your body doesn't really know what you're doing. Are you moving? Is there a signal happening? Is there a response happening? Yesterday I went for a walk with the dogs, part of my workout, part of my fitness for the day was a 60 minute nasal breathing walk for the dogs, with the dogs.
00:55:08
Speaker
And it's like, that's not a workout. And it's like, that's not a workout for a certain type of working out. That's not a workout for CrossFit or for bodybuilding or for- It is a movement that has a purpose for your body and your mind. Yeah. And I didn't put a rock on. I didn't tow a sled. I didn't do any of that. But when everything, I mean, that's amazing that that consideration is always there. Maybe I should like, and that's
00:55:28
Speaker
I think for people to know like that's normal to have that because it's questioning because you're doing something that's different than what you've done all this time and questioning that there's going to be a little bit of that friction, but it's like that's what it is to evolve.
Upcoming Events and Conclusion
00:55:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:44
Speaker
And just to wrap it up, looking at fitness, not just from sport. Looking at fitness, not just from competition, from performance, from stats, from PRs. Like when we think about fitness, we apply, we look at mental, emotional, and physical fitness. That's the fitness continuum. That's the fitness spectrum.
00:56:05
Speaker
If we're only on the physical side and we're not doing anything with the mental or the emotional side, we're failing. It's limited. It's limited in what you're going to get out of it. Yeah. And the amazing thing is we can look at the mental and the emotional side and have positive influence on the physical side.
00:56:23
Speaker
But if all we do is focus on the physical side, we're going to, it doesn't work the other way. Like, like that, maybe it does a little bit, but it's not, it's not as influential. It's like, you can get better at whatever. Anyway, so that's, that's kind of, I think something to look at. And, um, yeah. But those are, those are good questions. Let me do, let me see one more. Any other last minute, last minute entries here.
00:56:55
Speaker
No, that's pretty much it. Somebody asked me if I collect anything. There were some, there were some, some silly ones that came in that I didn't entertain, but, um, all right. Yeah. So that's good. Question and answer. I think, um,
00:57:16
Speaker
Yeah, we'll see what next week is. I don't know if we want to spend the whole episode on that. We'll, we'll kind of see. There's no script. There's no master plan or strategy for this stuff. So we talk about, um, I mean, we generally come up with a topic and we flush out like things, but if there's, it is good to helpful. If people have like, Oh yeah, I really like to talk about this or here, you gotta take on this or, you know, those are all things for sure that we value and, um,
00:57:47
Speaker
Yeah. We have some happenings. February 8th.
00:57:55
Speaker
is the Between Your Seminar. Yeah, in Morristown. In Morristown. It's not going to be unlike, it's not going to be like any other event. So there will be lecture and theory and concepts. Less physical. There'll be some physical. Less physical. But it's not. Probably about, I would say two-thirds to one-third and the physical will be. One-third physical. One-third physical, yeah, sorry. And the physical will be, there will be a workout, like very much a workout element.
00:58:24
Speaker
And then there will be other type of movement. So you're not going to be in your chair for four hours and then working out for two hours or whatever.
00:58:33
Speaker
lecture say lecture because it's a presentation information that whole bit teaching yeah teaching There will be practical exercises. So Things that yep, it's all well and good. But like let's actually do some work. So you'll do some work on yourself in that and then obviously some movement element with one of them being a
00:58:56
Speaker
And it's a small group, which I think is cool. Like we've been experiencing like 10 is like the max for some of this stuff. Someone did ask you if you're going to do a BT retreat. Right. Someone asked about that. Yeah. You know, you've done the retreat styles like immersion. Yeah. And that's something you're looking at getting a weekend for. Yeah. Next, probably in the fall, realistically, just because everything. Yeah. Yeah. So we have that.
00:59:24
Speaker
The practice. I've been actually getting people saying WTF. Yeah. Like, are you going to do the group? It didn't work for me. I'll be honest with you. It's a lot of work for me. It's a lot of emotional work for me because I to run a group to run a group. Yeah. This group, I think the current group is smaller, which is smaller. Yeah. The current group, which is smaller is.
00:59:54
Speaker
better. The previous group, there was about three times as many people. That was too big. And I knew, and I kind of was like, Oh, open up. And I, and I like went against my gut and I like lesson learned on that one. Don't you say that word until you know what it means. I read two. Oh, please. Anyway. Um, so I do think, I do think I'll be starting another group actually. And, but this will be like 10 people. Um,
01:00:23
Speaker
maybe springtime, you know, this group's coming up, finishing up their first month, so. Maybe you were getting closer to the practice level two, version two. Yeah, the 2.0, you're right, you're right, 2.0. And I might do another women's group also in the spring. Yeah. And see about, it's interesting because that group,
01:00:47
Speaker
could work also virtually if there's people. I mean, it's great that we do the workout together every week, but there might be an opportunity for someone who really wants to do it. I would love to do a similar between the ears in-person group. What's funny about that is most of the people in the practice right now live everywhere else. But anyway, you guys can also, we do work with people one-on-one.
01:01:18
Speaker
I yeah so some of the programming stuff that's like not like I said not a plug but we are very much aware and this isn't to pat ourselves in the back but
01:01:28
Speaker
we've been spending and dedicating our life to learning and evolving, most gyms are not doing this. So for a lot of people that aren't in the Morristown area, it's like, great, well, when I come in and my coach says, this is what we're doing, one of my clients goes to another CrossFit gym, and we work with what we can, open gym time. She does come down to us every now and then, but there's a lot of ways to work on
01:01:58
Speaker
figuring out your approach to fitness without you leaving your gym. Yeah, for sure. So, you know, if that's something reach out. Yeah. Yeah. Alrighty. Okay. Thanks for the questions. See you next week.