Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
EP 77: New Year, Same Us
1.9k Plays1 year ago
Welcome to our first episode of 2025! 🎉 This week, we’re diving into our goals and intentions for the new year, sharing what we’re looking forward to, and the mindset shifts we’re embracing as we start fresh.
But first, we’re catching up on life updates: Whitney shares how she recently discovered she needs hernia surgery (and what that means for her mom-life juggle), Candace reflects on her birthday celebrations and what another year older means to her, and we chat about how we’re feeling now that the holiday madness is behind us.
It’s a cozy conversation filled with real mom moments, laughter, and a sprinkle of inspiration to kickstart your year.
✨ Highlights from this episode:
- Our personal goals and intentions for 2025
- Life updates: Whitney’s health news, Candace’s birthday reflections, and surviving the holiday whirlwind
- How we’re planning to show up for ourselves, our families, and each other in the year ahead
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Mom Group Chat Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it. Happy New Year moms. My name is Candace and I'm here with my best friend Whitney and this is the mom group chat podcast. Hello.
00:00:24
Speaker
Happy New Year. I feel like I need the sounds. I can't do it. I have the horn if you want me to. I know. I saw you post that little video of Margo blowing the horn and it made me laugh so hard because it was like she didn't wait for you to finish. Happy New Year. She was just like, she is so cute. I mean, she's always been cute, but she's like at a really cute stage right
Funny New Year's Moments with Kids
00:00:50
Speaker
now.
00:00:50
Speaker
she um really her language exploded like in the last episode when we were talking i was like yeah it has exploded so Isn't that crazy how it just like happens overnight sometimes? Yeah. And maybe it's, I don't know, spending a lot of time with us and I'm, I was started working on it. And so anyway, she says like yes and no and all kinds of shit. And I want that. Like she'll say a full sentence, but yeah, she'll blow that little horn. And it's so funny cause like I have a video last year where Graydon did it for the first time. And I guess he was too.
00:01:26
Speaker
No. Wait. Yeah. Two at the point at that point. Not us doing math again. We're not going to math everyone. Uh, but yeah, he blew that little New Year's Eve horn and then Margo did it and she's one. And I'm like, damn, this chick is advanced. She's a savant on the horn. Let's go. Was your family just like dying over her this Christmas and how cute she was? Yeah. I mean, I feel like Ashley would try and steal her. They like Graydon a lot.
00:01:54
Speaker
Oh, is Graydon the Golden the favorite? He's just really fun to be around. Like, he's so funny. um Like, even when my sister and she was already at my parents' house, like, they were calling, my dad would call and be like, can you just bring Graydon? Like, they wanted him to entertain. He's like the showman. Oh, my gosh, that's so funny. Yeah, they really like Graydon a lot. um And, you know, Margo's cute. She just doesn't.
00:02:22
Speaker
she in age She'll get there. She doesn't entertain like this guy does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Class clown over here. Yeah, everyone really likes being around. So. Oh,
New Year's Eve Plans and Outfit Dilemmas
00:02:33
Speaker
my gosh. Well, it is New Year's Eve when we're recording this. um What are your New Year's Eve plans? You going out to the club? You know it. I got my elbows out. I got my bougie dress. No, please. I don't think I'll ever go out. I Like literally.
00:02:53
Speaker
Oh my God. No jagged braving the cold. Actually it's not that cold here. Um, it's literally in the eighties here. So, Oh my God. yeah Yeah. Literally yesterday felt like summer. It was so crazy, but then the, I'm sure you've seen it all over the news. Cause I think y'all are getting it too. There's like a crazy cold snap coming with like snow. They're saying we might get snow here in Florida. I have not seen that, but it's ugly here today and windy AF.
00:03:20
Speaker
Well it's I've seen the maps of the cold that's coming and it's like over Tennessee but it comes down to Florida and in it I think the dates of it is like January 9th through the 13th or is like the coldest like here in Florida it's going to be in the low 20s high teens so there it's going to be even Whitney I panic ordered a bunch of stuff on Amazon today because I don't have anything and actually I was kind of upset and not upset whatever but at Christmas I I had told people like hey Evie really needs clothes like for real even needs clothes and we when I tell you we got barely any clothes. Interesting. So I
00:04:06
Speaker
I panic ordered a whole bunch of stuff on Amazon. I was like, all right, I need fleece line leggings. I need some sweatshirts. Like I just need leggers. Um, so anyways, I panicked. I love, I actually, um, Graydon and Mario only got one thing of clothes too. And that's like my favorite thing to buy people. I would have gotten, um, damn.
00:04:29
Speaker
Yeah, maybe. um But her birthday is coming up. So that's what I'm going to tell people, like, please buy 18 month and up clothing because she and that or is that still big? dude, the, all of the 12 months stuff on her is snug a bug. Like I'm like, we're not going to make it all the way to 18 months before we're in 18 months. So I am, I've been telling everyone 18 months. And then if it's a little big on her right now, it's like not a big deal. Yeah. That's how Margo is too. She's in 18 to 24 and she has some two T stuff. It's just like super long or yeah like I had Margo in that little nightgown over Christmas, which was a two T, but I think it made it cuter because it like touched the floor because
00:05:12
Speaker
It was so cute. But yeah, same with Margot. Does Evie almost weigh as much as Alice now? No, Vinny and I talk about all the time. We haven't had a scale, so I don't know, but I guarantee, like we actually think that Evie might weigh more. than Alice is like, her bones are hollow. I don't freaking know. The girl is so skinny. She is like ah so light. Everyone that picks her up is like, oh my God, she weighs nothing. I'm like, I know. They accidentally like toss her to the moon when they pick her up. Literally. She's like looking skinnier than ever to the point where I'm like, oh my God, like she's so skinny. She just doesn't eat anything. I have so much anxiety about it, but whatever.
00:05:58
Speaker
I know. I don't mean to joke about it, but I mean, when Margot was there, she was like almost in the same diaper size as Alice. So. Yeah. No, Alice and Evie are in the same diaper size. ok They have. been But Evie, Alice is only in diapers for night for nap, but nap and like sleep. But ah yeah, yeah, they're um about equal. So funny. Wait, you didn't finish your answer. I'm so sorry. I probably interrupted you about your New Year's Eve plans.
00:06:26
Speaker
Oh my God. We like sidetracked so fast. i
00:06:32
Speaker
Wow. It's weird how that happens. Um, new year's. So tonight I am going to a friend's house and, uh, it's like with all the kids and stuff too. And she's calling it bougie comfy because it's fried chicken and caviar. And I was like, I don't think I've ever resonated with something more in my life. Like, do I wear a track suit with like,
00:06:55
Speaker
gold chain or like diamonds. Like what's the vibe? Honestly, that is kind of a vibe, like a sweatsuit with like diamond earrings. I think that could be fun. ah That's really fun. I love that bougie comfy. And then like they are doing like potato chips and um yeah, I love caviar actually. i Me too. I'm excited. So I thought that's shocking that you like caviar.
00:07:22
Speaker
You know, that's true. I don't know. There's just one of those things I tried in Rhode Island on a blingy and with creme fraiche. And it was so good. I was like, wow, I love this shit. We at my old job at all of our Christmas parties and stuff like caviar service was like part of the thing like all the, I don't know, there were like some of the execs like were obsessed with caviar and they would have it flown in for like the parties and stuff. So um that's where my love, and it was like the same thing. I was like, oh, this is yummy with a but the glass of wine. Yeah, ah we get ours from Whole Foods, so not the same, but the same. But Whole Foods, I think, has good quality caviar, I think.
00:08:11
Speaker
I mean, it's good no ah to me. And um yeah, anyway, so that's what we're doing tonight. What are you doing? Kind of similar things. um We are going over to our best friends, Zach and Joanna's. They have a four year old and twins who just turned one on my birthday. We share a birthday. So um it's great because Evie and the boys play. And then Alice and Penelope are literally BFF. It is so cute. Oh, my God, I'm obsessed with their little friendship. um And we're just going over there. So they just had the birthday party on my birthday for the boys. So they have all this leftover food, like trays of fruit and oh yeah chip and dip and whatever. So we're just eating leftovers of the party food. But I'm making um taco dip and margaritas. So wow I'm going to. Yeah.
00:09:06
Speaker
I'm going to bring those over and we're just going to let the kids play and hang. It'll be bougie, comfy, except not as bougie as caviar, but, um, maybe you should just stop at whole foods and bring some honestly.
00:09:20
Speaker
I'm driving home by myself. So, uh, cause obviously Vinnie has the girls and I met my moms so, um, I can stop wherever I want. Maybe I, maybe I'll throw a surprise and then like busted out with the champagne. That sounds yeah yeah. That does sound nice.
Whitney's Hernia Discovery and Surgery
00:09:38
Speaker
Actually. Um, it's not that expensive there. I mean, obviously a little more, but worth it. Yeah. tree okay I like that.
00:09:47
Speaker
But yeah, i I'm not really a New Year's girly anymore, or I don't know if I ever was. like It's always the like i always cit expectation hangover is what I think. it's like You always think it's going to be fabulous and amazing, and it ends up being like crowded bars, long lines, lots of traffic, long Uber waits.
00:10:08
Speaker
That's in my head. I think of the scene in the OC when Marissa and Ben come. I think his real name is Ben. What was his name on the show? Anyway. Ryan. He. Ryan. Ryan comes in. You just barked at that. You were like, Ryan.
00:10:28
Speaker
That was a no. That like truly was a high school awakening moment. I can hear the song in my head. at Me too. That plays. What is it? It's, um, it's like, uh, I mean, if I sing it, I'm going to, I mean, I can pull it up, roll the dice. It's something with roll the dice. and Yep. I know. Right. Anyway, that's what I think of for new year's. I'm like, she was about to kiss that guy that she met at therapy and then Ryan comes in and they kiss. Oh.
00:11:02
Speaker
That show is so good. I had like, I had my mom buy me all the sets of DVDs. Me too. I had them all too. And I'll never forget like when it was on live, you know, we had like DVR or tape or whatever. or not tape, but you know what I mean. I think that was like early days of DVR where you could record stuff on your cable box. And I remember like if my brothers or anyone or my dad touched it and deleted it before, I would have, I would literally lay people out. I would be so upset. I would have been so scared of you. Like, I mean, if, oh, I mean, this is all coming back. Do you remember in Theda when someone deleted my shows from the TV room?
00:11:49
Speaker
And such I think I made a bitch cry. Honestly, I was like such a fucking freako. I don't even I can't even remember what the what show it was. These shared TV and theta. It was probably at school and they're like, get this shit off of here. And you're like, yeah, it was it was definitely something that like probably was not important. But to me, it was important. And someone deleted it. And I think I yelled at freshmen or something. I don't know. But I um I made a scene. I made it gone like.
00:12:19
Speaker
That was a thing because I never recorded anything. That's so funny. Oh, wow. What a time. Yeah. So anyway, I'm not drinking a ton tonight because. Oh, yeah. You have another update. You have a big update. You need to tell the whole story.
00:12:39
Speaker
Your girl's having hernias surgery on Thursday. So I didn't, I was like, dude, I do not want to be hungover tomorrow and then go under anesthesia the next day. I'll be like.
00:12:52
Speaker
I feel like your body's going to be like, what is going on? He's like, ma'am, what are you putting me through? But yeah, I, it was the week before Christmas. I just like felt this dull ache and I texted Canis because Vinny is the only other person that I've known that has had a hernia, like within recent amount of time. And I was like, Canis, can you ask Vinny if, uh, I have a hernia because it feels like someone's sticking their finger in my belly button and like, will not remove it. It was just like that dull ache and that icky.
00:13:22
Speaker
feeling. Anyway, he was like, yeah, that sounds like one. Yeah. Then he was like, that sounds about right. Like it is like kind of a dull ache. And I was like, cool, cool, cool. Um, you know, my connection, Christopher K. Williams, uh, got me a doctor's appointment for Friday. Anyway, this was all Wednesday and then by Thursday I had gone to work and came home and it felt so irritated. I was like, what the fuck? And I looked down at my belly button.
00:13:48
Speaker
and shit was coming out of it. Like, you had, okay, I need to pause here and talk about the text exchange of Whitney explaining to me over text. You said something like, well, hold on. I have to go back and find it because I, it was just like, I was really like crazy. and
00:14:13
Speaker
I was having like a panic attack like where I was laughing so much that I couldn't breathe because I was panicking like can like immediately ah don't don't talk about the pic okay you said deaf have something wrong I said oh no what's going on and she said it's coming out of my belly button And I just sent back a shock emoji and then she said, I don't know if I will have to go in tonight, but I will likely have surgery sooner than later. I said, Whitney, what do you mean? And she said, yeah, it wasn't like that yesterday. It's made its way out of my belly button.
00:14:52
Speaker
And I was like, Whitney, what is coming out of your belly button? Not me being like, so incogni you're being so vague. And I said, she said, like my intestines, question mark. And then I just sent back and all caps. Whitney.
00:15:08
Speaker
She said, I'm so gross out. I said, I need a pic. Oh my God, I'm scared for you, but way better to get it fixed now than for it to get worse. so And then you sent the pic, which I can only just, okay. It's a picture of her belly button and it looks like a tiny red bubble is in a bloody bubble. it may it looks her belly but it's Like my intestine is coming out.
00:15:27
Speaker
my um i know and the dress is a younger whatever anyone no no no you're not It's just such a different like Vinnie had Vinnie discovered his hernia and then lived with it for months because it was in a different location it was like in ah his growing his groin And so it just like, like literally, like I said, he lived with it for months. So for this to go from, Hey, I think I might have a hernia to literally your intestines coming out of your belly button in a day. Like it just happened so quick. It escalated. Okay. Anyways, go on.
00:16:02
Speaker
Anyway, this was all Thursday. Chris is like, can I try and push it back in? Meanwhile, Candice and I are FaceTiming. I FaceTimed her immediately because I was like, what are you going to do? Chris walks in and is like, hey, can I get a Q-tip and try and push it back in? And that is when like the panic ensued. Whitney started to freak out. What do you mean? She looked like she was about to take off her shirt. She was like, I don't know what to do. It was like she was crawling out of her skin. She was like, I don't know how you can't do that. I don't think you could do that. I was like running around the room and like tears started coming out of my eyes. I was like laughing so hard. I was like, Candace, I was just saying Candace Candace Candace. I was like, Chris, get away from me. You freak.
00:16:46
Speaker
Um, anyway, I was like, okay, I'm going to wait until my appointment on Friday afternoon. Yada, yada, yada. I wake up Friday. And I stand up, it's still irritated. And I'm like, I think I'm just gonna go to the yeah ER. Like, this is freaking me the fuck out. And then yeah I look down and blood starts coming out. And when I say like, it's not pouring, but it's like dripping down in my stomach. And I'm like, okay, I'm going, I'm leaving. And I just- It's time to go. Yeah, I just drove myself there and they found out it was a hernia and it's just like an umbilical hernia. So I have like a little weakness.
00:17:22
Speaker
in my belly button and found out it is not intestine. It is just my fricking fat coming through, which that's's a that's great. Yeah. It's just my fat pocket popping through. So that's, that's cute too. Love that for me. I mean better than the intestines. Oh, for sure. That's disgusting. But, uh, yeah, anyway, having surgery, it feels so much better now. I'm like, do I even go?
00:17:46
Speaker
yeah yeah Which is a joke. ah It's a joke. um But it feels so much better, I think, just like we've been taking care of it, putting Neosporin in there, and I have a little gauze that I keep its shape so that it doesn't come back out. Anyway, having search. Do you know the details of the surgery? like Is it a laparoscopic or whatever? like it Or they have to actually cut you? Yeah, we have to cut. It's like above my belly button. It's going to be like a sad face over my belly button. Okay.
00:18:15
Speaker
And they're going to like ah repair the hole and close off. He said, if there was something like attached to anything, like close it off and then just fix it right up. And he's like, I'm going to try. He said, first and firm foremost, I want to make it aesthetically pleasing for you. And like, you're not going to even be able to see the scar, stitch it from the inside. And I was just like, sir.
00:18:36
Speaker
My stomach is fucked up from Marco. I could care less what you make it look like. I have stretch marks. I was like, do you do lipo? Do you do tummy tucks as well? Like just do it. I'm under. I'm like, please, please.
00:18:51
Speaker
um But I was just like, OK, I don't care about the aesthetics at this point. But thank you for for caring. um I was like, I mostly care about like, when am I going to be able to take care of my kids again? Because yeah, that was the most annoying part about ah like Vinny couldn't pick the kids up for like eight weeks or something. I don't think it's going to be that long. I mean, it's they say 20 pounds, which they're both over that. But He's like, I'm going to try and do it to where you could pick up at twenty five, which I'm like, what do you have a fucking weighted scale where you can? Yeah, how I'm able to like pick up. Yeah, this looks like it can hold twenty five. He's like, let me get the different stitches that say twenty five pound hold. I don't know. But I'm just like, OK, so I'm going to like lay low for two weeks and go to my appointment and feel it out. But.
00:19:44
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Wow. Well, good luck on your surgery. I'll be checking in with Chris all day to get the update, but hopefully it's easy and quick. and So it's outpatient. I mean, I have it Thursday. I think I'm just going to take off Thursday and Friday. And, and if I don't feel like I can work next week, I'm i'm not, you know, it's not a big deal. So we'll see.
00:20:11
Speaker
I was going to say, do you, obviously you obviously told your work, everything that's going on. Well, I mean, I had to call my boss on Friday cause I was like, bro, I'm at the ER. So yeah. She was like, Oh my God. Cause we all were joking about my potential hernia at work on Thursday. I was like, I think I have a hernia. And then I was in the ER the next morning and she was like, I guess you were right. I'm like, yeah, no shit. It's bleeding. This is so crazy. So crazy. Well, blessings to your hernia.
00:20:40
Speaker
Thank you. I can't wait to start my new year with my new belly button. Thank you.
00:20:47
Speaker
you and Then I had a birthday. How's 34 feeling for you? Good so far, for the most part, nothing's really changed.
00:21:00
Speaker
um Everything's magically gone away and your house is gone. I wish. I wish. Yeah, I mean, it was really
Birthday Celebrations and Party Themes
00:21:10
Speaker
nice. We spent the morning with the girls and then we went to our friend's birthday party, which, by the way, like I said, they have twin boys. The theme was like Publix Bogo. That was literally the theme and it was so cute.
00:21:22
Speaker
That's funny. Everything was public's theme. Like all the ah balloons were green and on on the front of their high chairs were like the literal public's bogo signs. Buy one get one. Buy one get one. Oh, my God. They must love the grocery or something like that. Isn't that so cute? It was just such a cute theme and such a cute party. um But yeah, and then my mom picked the girls up and Vinny and I got to have a fancy dinner, just the two of us. And then my mom kept the girls overnight and I got to have like myself and a little bit of a day yesterday, although I did end up having to work a little bit in the morning. But ah other than that, I had myself a day. It was nice. That's so lovely.
00:22:09
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I think I want to do something a little more because 34, an extra 35, which I feel like is like a little bit more of a milestone. I think I might want to try and plan ahead and do like a big group dinner. I don't know some sort of like true birthday party situation. You know, do I book my flight now? That would be nice. Should I please.
00:22:39
Speaker
But yeah, so we'll see. But no, it was good. It was very chill. My birthday's always like, you know, it's a weird time because it's in between Christmas and New Year's. I tell you this every year, I think, but I feel like I would, if I lived there with you, I would love your birthday because I'm also in that weird in between room, like I haven't stopped.
00:23:02
Speaker
imbibing and eating, so it's like, just pile it on, baby. like yeah Give me an excuse to do all this, because I'm doing it anyway. Yeah, no, it is. And that's why I love New Year so much. like I love the new start, because like I've truly been a gluttony pig for a month now. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I always think about that statistics six that Shannon told us. I do, too. Do you remember that? I'm like, Shannon, why'd you tell me that, please?
00:23:31
Speaker
You gained 10 pounds and you spend all year losing. it I'm like, Shannon, why'd you even say that? I guess, like, I remember her telling us that the stat statistics show that like actually like you would think like you look back and you're like, Oh man, I've gained like 15 pounds in the past two or three years, but it's not all year. It's like the, the way is gained like in November and December almost always don't lose it. Or you spend all year losing and gaining that same amount. And then it, yeah.
00:23:59
Speaker
thanks i'm like Thank you, Shannon.
00:24:04
Speaker
You were wrong. But I've been thinking about that a lot because I've literally just been eating to my heart's content. And then looking at my face in the camera, I'm like, I look so puffy. Yeah, I feel the same way. Do not air this episode. I also look gray. I'm in my winter ugly. Well, you match your background and your lamp. you'
00:24:26
Speaker
you Great to see color. I look like seasick. It's monochromatic. God, ah that's funny. and um No, it's OK. We're going to have a glow up.
New Year's Intentions and Personal Growth Goals
00:24:41
Speaker
I'm I am going to have a glow up in twenty twenty five, which really we're already twenty five minutes into this episode. But the theme of this episode is to just kind of talk about our New Year's plans, our New Year's intentions, our goals, our resolutions, whatever you want to call it.
00:24:57
Speaker
um And also just catch up because like we said, there's been a lot of other stuff happening. Hernia's, you know, birthdays. Yeah, yeah, you know. So no, 2025 better be my year. I swear to fucking God, or I will be coming after whoever put a hex on me. I know I said that on my Instagram stories, but truly, I have had such a tough two years and.
00:25:27
Speaker
It better be my time, okay? It better be my time. You know what's weird is like I've seen a lot of people post that they didn't like last year. A lot. Yeah. I feel like I don't know. Maybe it's the moons. I don't know. The stars, the moons, whatever you want to call it. I've seen a lot of people say, oh, 2024 was such a tough year.
00:25:48
Speaker
And it was, and actually now the more that I think about it, 2023, like it just ended on a bad note because of Shannon. 2023 wasn't that bad. So it's really like the year from November to this year. That year was really bad. agree yeah And I just want stability and like I want to, I want just like a new start. right And I don't even know what that necessarily looks like yet, but I just want to feel like renewed in 2025 and feel stable and at ease. I feel like this whole, especially obviously the past three months has been like walking through mud and I just want to feel like easy, like life is easy.
00:26:38
Speaker
Yeah. I know. I'm still sorry you feel that way. you oh you have I mean, I know it's been hard, but you you've been like the rock for your family. And you've done so much. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You're doing amazing. Y'all got a rental for Christmas, which I'm just so glad that you were able to like do that for yourself and your mental health and all that. So it's like, y'all are taking the right steps. It's just, it's like hit after hit. Yeah. It's been, I'm not even going to sugar coat it. Like it's been hard and I feel like I've put on a brave face a lot online or on this pod, even Whitney has seen, I've had some fricking hard times. It's been really tough and um,
00:27:25
Speaker
i yeah I don't know. it like my Also, my thought is it can't get any worse. like right like wow It really can't. so um And we are truly at the tail end of this. like we're We're waiting on that last engineer report, which I checked yesterday and it's under review. with our flood insurance. So once that is processed, we will be able to get our final claim for Milton and then we can start making big moves and decisions and get us... like I truly believe by the... I keep putting a date on it. I need i told myself I was going to stop doing that. but
00:28:07
Speaker
I feel like by the end of February, we will be in a new home. We will have started the process of building or what moving or whatever the frick we're going to do. and We will be able to like go into the rest of the year in a solid place. and so That's the other thing I was going to say on here about like setting goals and stuff. I just feel like where I'm at with my with our house and everything. Like it's almost hard for me. Like I'm not going to sit here and be, it would be unrealistic for me to sit here and be like, Oh, well I'm going to like prioritize my health, blah, blah, blah right now because I just, we don't even have a home. Like we're not in a stable place. So I am refraining from setting like pretty solid goals like I normally do because
00:28:55
Speaker
the We just still have some unknown ahead of us. so i'm just focused my What I keep telling myself is like focus on the positive and that is like my number one goal is to keep looking on the bright side and keep feeling hopeful about things because with our situation, it's really easy to go down the spiral and be like, this is terrible. Everything's terrible.
00:29:18
Speaker
um And then how do you see yourself doing that? Like, do you have something in place? Like, if you are feeling that overwhelm, like what's going to bring you out of it?
00:29:32
Speaker
um Okay, the first thing is getting out of the house or or wherever we're at cuz we're not in our own house. So whether it's the tiny Airbnb we're in or my mom's, like most of the time that overwhelm comes from just my space currently. i agree So that's like my most immediate thing is just get the girls in the car and go somewhere. like It literally could just be to the park, to the mall.
00:29:59
Speaker
two It's so weird that I've been to the mall more than ever recently just because it is a like covered, yeah easy place to take the girls. um And they also have strollers for rent. Did you know that? um i don't I mean, I go to the Green Hills Mall here sometimes, but I've never taken them.
00:30:22
Speaker
Yeah. um So getting out of the house is the first thing. And and then the second thing is to ask for help, honestly. like be I spent way too long, and Whitney knows this, I spent way too long throughout the past three months,
00:30:42
Speaker
trying to hold how I was feeling in because I didn't want to make, like Vinny was, Vinny spirals on his own. i He doesn't need any help with that. And so if I, I felt like I couldn't share my own feelings because I didn't want him to spiral even more. And I of course have to be strong for the girls. So I spent way too long trying to like hold how I was really feeling.
00:31:06
Speaker
And then with my mom like housing us, like I felt like I couldn't like burden her even more with how I was feeling. so Or even like it's hard to ask for help when she's already helping. Yeah, like like she's already doing so much. How do I be like, hey, ah actually I need a whole day to myself or something? you know Yeah, she was like your escape goat and now you live with her. So it's like, yeah, yeah pile on more. That's how I would go too.
00:31:32
Speaker
But when I finally like shared how I was feeling truly, like with Vinny and with my mom, I got a lot. i would I felt so relieved and I got a lot more relief from other people, like giving me the space to like grieve a little bit and feel all my feelings and take time for myself and all of that. So ask for help and then, um,
00:31:58
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it it just kind of goes back to like focusing on the good and like that could be like the smallest little thing with the girls, like trying to focus on a new craft that we're doing or something that day rather than like focusing on that. We haven't heard back from insurance and that's so frustrating, you know. So it's it all actually is just your mind. It's like working on your brain and working on your mindset, which is so important.
00:32:27
Speaker
in motherhood, I think, and yeah. No, that's great. Yeah, what about you? so I don't know. I try, like I think of like goals and goal setting for the new year as like a structured process. I guess it's like, yeah um, I don't know. I think of them as like stacked, like what's most important, second most important like things to me. And I was like talking to Chris this morning about it. And cause I just had been thinking about what I was wanting to like, I don't know, not manifest, but like work on next year. And I was like, I think for the first time in forever,
00:33:06
Speaker
I have like my career slash podcast over family, which might sound horrible. but No, it doesn't. I don't mean it like that. It's like I feel like my kids are at that age where we're in maintenance mode a little bit.
00:33:23
Speaker
So it's like, I think we're in a good rhythm. So it's like, okay, I can finally, I really want to focus on like doing something amazing career wise or like yeah growing the podcast even more and really prioritizing like how we want to work it. So I feel like that's my number one thing for next year's is working that way. And then of course family being second. And then I was thinking like house and home. And then.
00:33:53
Speaker
um body, which is not losing weight, more like keep moving, um yeah taking it in a good yeah getting in a good rhythm rhythm that way. so That's the way I was thinking of how I wanted to prioritize next year, because I think with my new job, I'm going to be moving and grooving, so I kind of have to like set expectations a little bit with Chris. So yeah, this is really important to me. So that's so true. Yeah. And I feel like Chris has had recently like a lot of goals outside of family like with. Yeah, like, true you know, and I feel like it's your turn to have goals outside of that. And I think it's as moms, it's actually really important that we keep those outside like aspirations and
00:34:42
Speaker
you know it adds It adds so much to our like self worth and self value to see the value of ah of us outside of our kids.
00:34:54
Speaker
Mm hmm. Yeah, for sure. um And they will always be like the most important thing ever to me. But like I said, I feel like we're in like a good maintenance mode. We have a good system going. And um yeah, it's just that's the way I'm I'm thinking. And I'm really excited to like focus on that stuff. Yeah. It's also really exciting to think about a year where neither of us are going to be pregnant.
00:35:24
Speaker
Like I know technically. That's another thing. I think that's like why my mind has shifted is like, I know I'm done done. Yeah. Like Chris and I are done having kids. So it's like, Ooh, I'm in a ah good spot. Like, you know how we always say you're in that really big brain fog. Like the first year of your kid's life, like, or at least like 10 or 11 months until, you know, and I'm like, wow, I'm Margo's almost. She's 16 months literally. And I'm like, wow.
00:35:51
Speaker
This is like that, that nice little sweet spot. We're in the groove. Totally. So yeah, it just feels good. Yeah, ah we are. I know I've talked about on here about like wanting a third, but I feel like I need to give everyone an update that like we are truly like not even discussing that or just with our current situation, like we can't even think about it. And we've said we would talk about it as soon as we are in our like more forever home. So yeah realistically, 2026, which I'll be 36 and like that's not that big of a deal. i like It'll be great because Evie could be in school if we wanted to have a third, but it's going to be a ah couple of years until we even think about it. And I feel like there's also a chance that like I get to that time and I'm like, you know what? I'm really happy. with our life and maybe I don't like like I think I don't know I feel maybe I shouldn't say this but like I'm gonna say it anyway like I think right now if I found out I'd be pregnant like or I was pregnant I would be like really devastated yeah um just because we are so unsettled and it would be really hard to bring a baby into our current situation but
00:37:14
Speaker
Yeah. So, and Vinny and I talked about that at my birthday dinner. We like had a real heart to heart about it. And yeah. Um, and I was like, listen, I know I've always been team three, but like, I can't even think about it. And he was like, girl, same. Yeah. Well, but he was probably like, thank God. Yeah. Because remember when you had just had Evie and you're like, I want another baby. And I was like, Candace, could you imagine? Like I would.
00:37:41
Speaker
ah Your hormones were horror moaning. Yeah, they were. They were. not okay I was like, Candace. Wow. Like, no. And she's not even one. Like, yeah, the way that I would not have made any kind of rational decision in that first year. It's like, you got to give it a minute. Oh, 100 percent. I literally could never. well I was talking to my friend Jane. She called me yesterday and um Her baby Esther is one ah six months old, not one. And she was like, I'm trying to decide if I want one or two. I was like, Jane, your child is six months old. Let it breathe, my guy. I know you probably just want one right now. Like, me too. Trust me. Like, holy crap. I don't know if I would have ever been ready for two, but I was like, thank God I had two. Wow. love Love the life that we have now, but yeah wo that first year, man, give it a rest.
00:38:41
Speaker
It's God bless the ones that have gotten pregnant within that first year. That's the other thing is like truly our life is so chaotic right now. I'm like, I don't, I don't, how do moms of three do it? Like I'm going to need a whole, I think actually the key is a little bit more space between two and three. Alice will be like in school. Yeah.
00:39:04
Speaker
She'll be so helpful. and Evie will be, if we were, Evie will be in a full-time program, I would assume. I don't know. The 202, who tricked me? That was It's really hard. That was hard. and and um i mean I love it now. like They're tight as could be. and they and they kind of Actually, they fight a lot now, but they used to never.
00:39:28
Speaker
um And then they're so cute, but wow, I would so space it out if I did it again.
Creating Structured Plans for Personal Time
00:39:35
Speaker
Something that, well, okay. Bringing it back to like the new year's stuff and like something I'm doing, I sat down the other day to like, kind of think about my new year's and what I wanted it to look like. And one of the things that I really focused on in my reflection that didn't go well is like just my feeling of lack of time and feeling like all of these ah small tasks, like.
00:39:59
Speaker
fell through the cracks. like Even stuff with the podcast that we wanted to do or like for me, like a lot of like random life admin stuff. like and so Something I'm doing this year is I am like going through each quarter and blocking out certain days for certain things, or we but it it could be weekly, it could be monthly, could be quarterly, to where I'm like, okay, monthly, I'm going to have one self care day where I like do something for myself and I'm blocking on my calendar, you know, or
00:40:35
Speaker
One of the things is like every six weeks I'm going to do what I'm calling a life admin day, which is like there's all these like miscellaneous like random life yeah things that like I never get to do and always get put on the back burner because like they're not priority but I'm adding that to my calendar. And then the other thing I is a big priority for me this year is like, I want to take at least one girl's trip and at least one couple's trip, like with Vinnie and I um or another couple, Whitney, Chris. um You know, we're down. So those are things to think about when you're kind of planning your new year of things that would like bring you joy or make things feel a little bit easier.
00:41:24
Speaker
um I think the girls trip is so important. The trip, yeah, well, yeah, for sure. I loved mine. um For me, it's like I could block those days. I don't hold myself accountable. I would get to that day and be like, I don't have time for this. Like, how do you find yourself like the accountability and make yourself do that?
00:41:50
Speaker
I haven't been good at it, but ah back in 2020, really the end of 2022 and the beginning of 2023, I was better at it. I would block those days and I would look forward to them, my counter to where like two, if I was two weeks before my self care day, I would start to think about work and be like, Oh, okay. I need to let my clients know like, Hey, I'm off this day. I have plans or that's whatever. It's like, it's all about planning ahead to where you can let yourself do that. Almost. Um, that's what i like I need to set. I would have to set reminders, even if it's not.
00:42:32
Speaker
Like, uh, oh, I finally have to to like do the things around the house that, you know, you put off and put off and it actually takes 15 minutes. And you're like, why did I wait so long to do that? It's been haunting me. Um, but yeah, it's like, I almost need the buildup to that moment. Like I, I don't know. Do I have ADHD? Something like blocks me from completing that kind of task. I, I definitely need like a lead up buildup to that moment. So I feel prepared.
00:43:02
Speaker
Yeah. i would Something I do and I haven't done recently, but I i feel the brunt of it and like I need to do it again is I used to keep a running life admin task list in my notes. If i something popped in my head that was like, I need to make a dentist appointment for Alice. like that's been on my I still haven't done it. That's been on my list for literally a year.
00:43:25
Speaker
and stuff like that. I've just started to keep a list so that when I get to that life admin day or half day, it doesn't have to be a full day either. like But maybe you're like from 12 to four today, i'm goingnna I'm going to cross off at least four things off this list, three or four things. That to me is like a huge win and yeah does make me feel really accomplished. So start keeping a list ah in your notes of like random things like that or like
00:43:53
Speaker
something that's been on my list forever is like my computer storage has been so close to full and I've been just deleting random shit. I need to go through and offload all of our pod material onto an external hard drive to free up stuff. Like that's been on my list for months and I haven't done it. And it probably would take me like an hour. I don't know why I can't do it. know Well,
00:44:18
Speaker
I don't know. That's, yeah, that's like, that's like one of those, like you said, add many things that you're like, Oh, I just wish I had an intern that would do that for me. And that'd be perfect. Like it's just one of those tedious tasks, but something that, um, I love my friend Lauren, who you've met and you've talked with. Um, she's been sharing like her goal setting with her husband. Like they have a whole thing. I saw that.
00:44:42
Speaker
Oh my god, she's so amazing. I love her perspective on stuff. um And they also, instead of just setting goals, they reflected on the goals they had for 2024 and like what they did right and what they did wrong. And something that really stuck with me that she talked about was that the things that they missed, they were lacking a system behind it. And she gave the example of like date nights and how they wanted to do monthly date nights, but it fell through a lot of the times because it got to the day and they'd be like, Oh, well, we don't have a babysitter. And she said, they didn't have a system. They didn't have a regular babysitter. So they are now planning way ahead and finding a babysitter that they can use every month and booking it out so that that system doesn't fail them again. And I was like, that's just so
00:45:32
Speaker
I don't know, such a good way to think toward things. Like if you can't, I mean, I know we talk about manifesting a lot, but if that dream or goal doesn't have a system, it won't happen. So that's how I'm trying to think through things now. Like it really just inspired me. I was like, God, I love the way they think.
00:45:50
Speaker
I love it. It is ah because like, don't get me wrong. I am a big manifestor. I believe in that. But I also believe in systems and like the concrete of like these people are just like sitting around thinking of, you know, I'm going to make a thousand more dollars this month. Like they're actually like, OK, I want to make a thousand more dollars this month. Here's how I'm going to do it. Yeah.
00:46:14
Speaker
whatever. So yeah, you kind of have to have both. You have to have the vision and you have to have the like concrete system. And that's, I don't know. Maybe it's just because I've been in like momhood and motherhood and family life for the, like it has been my main focus probably the last three and a half years that I haven't really thought that way. And for me to like shift my mind.
00:46:35
Speaker
to career and and really pushing the podcast as hard as we could. In things like that, I'm just like switching flipping the switch and thinking in systems and strategy. I don't know, I'm just really excited to like see where it goes.
00:46:52
Speaker
ah yeah I'm excited too.
Celebrating Podcast Growth and Listener Gratitude
00:46:55
Speaker
So we have big plans for the pod. I feel like we had big plans this year and honestly doing that 2024 wrapped post that we did really helped me like celebrate it because like I'm not gonna lie there were so many things I was like Oh, we wanted to do that this year and we didn't get to. And, but making that post was like, wait, we really did accomplish this so much this year. It grew so much. We are so appreciative and grateful for all of you for listening and all of your messages after that post yesterday were so sweet and so nice. And we love that you get to come on here and laugh and like just listen to us be fucking weird.
00:47:37
Speaker
no i I love how many people said that they feel like they're talking to friends because that is literally how it goes. Like y'all are our friends. We're all friends here. We're all chitchat and like keep DMing us. Keep writing on Facebook. like It really like makes this whole thing not just worth it. like We already love doing it and we'll keep doing it because it's like me and Candice time, but like yeah having y'all join in, it makes it better and we love it. so yeah We really appreciate it. I said this in the at the end of the post, but ah we would love to hear your suggestions for 2025. Let us know some topics we haven't covered or- We got a lot.
00:48:21
Speaker
I was going to say we got a lot of suggestions already, but I would also love, maybe there's some topics that we technically already covered, but maybe you want a little bit more in depth. I think that's something that As our kids grow up, there are going to be topics that we visit. I thought it was funny. Everyone's like, I love all your topics, but can y'all just talk? I know. Some people were like, so I don't know. I think that's maybe something to think about for us is maybe once a month we always just have a catch up. And we just call it the monthly, December catch up, November catch up, July catch up.
00:48:59
Speaker
you know Um, and I love the idea of bringing just like regular moms on the pod and giving, getting different yeah perspectives. Like I would love to have Lauren on who, who works and does all those goal setting. Like what a great idea. She's a mom and has two sons. Like that's she's, she's great. So love these ideas.
00:49:20
Speaker
That's always been a major goal for us is bringing real moms on um to talk about different like viewpoints of things, whether that's like different types of birth or you know different school system. I mean, I don't know, like someone who homeschools or whatever, but to have real moms come on and talk about different things, I think has always been a goal of ours. And we've just been trying to figure out the best way for us to do that.
00:49:46
Speaker
um And I think we'll be able to nail it, hopefully, in 2025. And um we hope to have merch coming out. Yeah, that was a big thing for the end of last year. But I think um just with everything that went on. It's my fault. but No, it is not, Candace. We have the ideas. They're ready to go. It's just a matter of time, people. Yeah. Yeah. Buy spring break. Who wants a sweater? In March.
00:50:17
Speaker
Okay, maybe it's a tank top. Maybe it's a tank top. A hat for the beach? I don't know. um oh yeah actually yeah Actually, that's cute. Actually, yeah, right. Okay.
00:50:34
Speaker
ah Well, I love you, Ett, and I'm so excited to see what 2025 holds for us. And yeah, anything else you want to say?
00:50:45
Speaker
No, just that I love you infinitely and well forever. Ditto. All right. Happy new year guys. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.