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Making Things Better
377 Plays3 years ago
This week on the show we’re talking with Alan Hon, certified life coach, fitness trainer, business optimization consultant, real estate investor, and very likely a bunch of other things he’s just too humble to mention. Alan talks with us about how focusing on making things better for others, helping them overcome their challenges and roadblocks, drew him out of some successful sales management positions into the world of coaching, training and consulting. He finds success comes from legitimately caring for people, helping them identify where they want to go, and empowering them to know they can overcome everything in their path.
We also talk about dealing with underlying emotional barriers that anchor success and the challenges of trying to help people who just can’t seem to grab hold of good advice.
For more info about Alan visit https://livelifedifferently.dev/
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Transcript
Defining an Uncommon Life
00:00:01
Speaker
Everyone dreams about living an uncommon life, but how we define that dream is very different for each of us. And for most, it's a lifelong pursuit.
Podcast Introduction
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome to the Uncommon Life Project Podcast. We're going to introduce you to people who are living that life or enjoying the journey to get there. We're going to also give you some tools, tricks, and tips for starting or accelerating your own efforts to live an uncommon life.
00:00:26
Speaker
A life worth celebrating and savoring.
Meet the Hosts: Brian and Philip
00:00:29
Speaker
Please welcome your hosts, Brian Dewhurst and Philip Ramsey.
00:00:35
Speaker
Hello and welcome everybody to another episode of The Uncommon Life Project, where I am your host, Philip Ramsey. And Aaron Kramer. And he is Aaron Kramer. Gotta love it. Thanks for tuning in. We're grateful that you listen. Listen, time is a huge, huge resource that we have, so we don't take it lightly that you have tuned in for another episode. We have an amazing guest for you today.
00:00:57
Speaker
I am too. I'm going to do the bio, which we all know that I don't normally do the bio, but I know this guy and I like him. So I'm going to do the bio. That's okay with you, Aaron.
Pursuing Passions Over Retirement
00:01:07
Speaker
Go for it. All right. So before we get in, if this is the first time tuning in for us, we are advisors that think that you are your best asset. What in the world does that mean?
00:01:18
Speaker
Oh my gosh. So what I would say, if I was just going to do the 30 minute or 30 second elevator speech, please don't do the 30 minute Phillip. Don't do that, but do the 30 minute.
00:01:29
Speaker
I would say that at the end of the day, that you are talented, you are valuable, and your ideas matter to the world and to other people. So how do you use your money, finances, to get you to do something that you love to do every day? And if you did it, if you woke up every day and woke and love what you did, when would you want to stop doing
Guest Introduction: Alan Hahn
00:01:50
Speaker
that? Aaron Kramer.
00:01:51
Speaker
Never. Never. Right. And so then you're not really amasking all this wealth. You're trying to figure out what is it that I love to do? How can I impact the world and the way God's created me? And this is why we have my friend Alan Hahn on the show because he's doing it. Let me give you a quick bio. He's a certified life coach, business optimization consultant, entrepreneur, real estate investor with more than 30 years of experience, helping people break the change and holding them back. Welcome to the show. My man, Alan Hahn.
00:02:22
Speaker
How's it going, guys? We are doing great. Thanks for tuning in. I can't wait to kind of dive in on your story. But before we do that, one, how did we get connected? Because I love my friend, Chris. We got to talk about your wife.
00:02:39
Speaker
Yeah, my wife's awesome. I'll tell you what, you and I got connected through Chris, who is a force to be reckoned with. Talk about somebody who lives every day to its fullest. I mean, she's actually out right now on
00:02:54
Speaker
heading to a campsite that's kind of off grid with her sister who flew down to Florida so they can just enjoy some one-on-one connected time. And that's just the person she is. I mean, everybody that she has a relationship with, she has a deep relationship with, and she lives every day like it's her last.
00:03:14
Speaker
So if you know Chris Hahn at all, you'll know that there is no inch deep. There's a mile deep, inch wide. She loves to go deep. I love that you say that. Thank you, Chris, for marrying a rock star. And thanks for being on the show. Okay, so let's dive into who are you, what are you doing, and a little bit about your background.
Finding Fulfillment in Coaching
00:03:31
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:03:33
Speaker
Well, so right now what I'm doing is I launched a coaching business where I help people that feel like they have that guttural feeling that they know that they could do more with their lives. Maybe they don't even know what that is, but they just know that the job that they're working, the business that they have, the relationship they have around them, they're just not adding value.
00:03:58
Speaker
It's just that feeling, that feeling that you sometimes get. I actually got that feeling when I was running multiple Verizon stores, believe it or not. When I was in retail, I thought, man, I just want to climb this ladder as high as I can get. One day, I woke up and I was running 12 Verizon stores, driving 1,100 miles a week, managing all of these people. I still just felt like there was more
00:04:21
Speaker
What I realized, man, was the more is coaching people. When I was in my 20s, I was a personal trainer and a fitness director, so I ran health clubs. I was helping people that wanted to accomplish something. I was helping them accomplish that. Then when I was in retail,
00:04:37
Speaker
Same thing, I had people that wanted to be good salespeople or good store managers, helping them identify where they're at, what's holding you back, how do we get you to move forward. Then with the real estate investing, I was buying distressed properties,
00:04:53
Speaker
making them the best they could possibly be. So I just realized a couple years ago that my whole life, my whole focus was making things better.
Breaking Free from Corporate Life
00:05:02
Speaker
So I just put the brakes on it, got all amassed a bunch of certifications. So I knew what I was talking about and just started, I put myself out there, man.
00:05:13
Speaker
Let's talk about that, because like the whole Verizon thing, I think there's a lot of people who are like, I have made it. But if you took a step back, what you would find is that you've made it for somebody else. Now I'm not trying to like, if that's you, please forgive me for even saying that, but think about how much money that you were making for Verizon.
00:05:33
Speaker
Yeah. When I took that region over, I grew it to twice its size. Within the first year, I was netting the company more than a million dollars net. After they're paying me, after they're paying for the stores, after they're paying everybody, I added a million dollars to their bottom line.
00:05:50
Speaker
But I guarantee you, when you doubled it, your pay didn't double. No. No. Actually, one of the reasons I left was the owner of the company. So it was the largest Verizon retailer in the country. And I'm very proud of the guy. He bought the company from his parents and he just blew the thing up. But he was adjusting his comp plan for everybody. Every time you turn around, you never knew what your value was to the company. And
00:06:16
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when I decided to leave, I had 12 stores and was driving 1100 miles and they wanted to adjust our salaries to where they're the same across the board. So no matter if you had five stores or 12 or driving whatever, you were making the same money. And I'm like, that's not the same job. Rule number one and leadership, don't change the location of the goalpost.
00:06:40
Speaker
Not ideal, not ideal for the followers to motivate them and then be like, Oh yeah, we're going to do something different. Oh yeah. We're going to do something different. Like not so super motivating. Also going back to the value part, like you didn't know your value. Like that's the whole point of this. Like, right? Like that's what you're doing for coaching and helping people is like.
00:06:57
Speaker
finding your value. Yeah, contributing and growing. I mean, those are fundamental things that we all need just to feel good about who we are. What am I doing? Am I growing? Am I contributing? And to your point, Philip, when someone keeps changing the target, that was the hardest part of that job because in retail, it's a constantly changing goal. So if you're a commission salesperson and
00:07:24
Speaker
especially in retail, you'll understand that every single month, it's a new initiative. What was good last month, you need to elevate. I'll tell you guys what. At the end of the day, I could recognize that I knew the vision of the company and I knew that the
00:07:40
Speaker
what they were doing what they were pushing was netting them more money but they're doing it by making us the the manager's slave drivers just crack that whip push them harder and i was also manager for best buy for a number of years and man i'll tell you you did it did not matter if it was your wife's birthday i don't care that it's your kid's birthday you need to get into the story you need to drive these numbers because if you want i'll find somebody who does
00:08:05
Speaker
Uh, just makes me want to vomit my mouth. Talk about caring. We wonder why the corporate world just sucks.
00:08:12
Speaker
It is a dog eat dog world. And I just don't, like you said, it's just like you're a number. And I can't tell you how this like genuine and like unmotivating that is. It's like, hey, you're a number, just business. You're not gonna fill the void. I'm gonna have somebody else fill the void. Funny thing, the other day I was talking to somebody who's like, yeah, we'll just find somebody else. And I was like, help me never build a company like that. Like if one of our teammates left,
00:08:39
Speaker
It'll never be the same. I'm going to tell you that right now. Like we'll have to adapt and overcome, but the company will never be the same.
00:08:46
Speaker
Because you're a family. Right, because we're a family. And so you have very unique gifts, whoever's helping us out, that really helps strengthen our team at this point. Now, can we get somebody else that has different gifts and we can strengthen? Yes. Do I want to do that? No. And so you're not replaceable. And a lot of people in a lot of companies are building a company who's like, oh, you're replaceable. I want to have everybody on my team know you are not replaceable.
00:09:11
Speaker
we'll never be able to replace you. Well, we'll try, but we'll have to do something. So I think that's really interesting. And I think they get that wrong. Yeah, well, and you are a person. And I'll tell you what, I mean, I'm an award-winning
Empathy in Leadership
00:09:23
Speaker
sales manager. When I was with Best Buy, I was going to the trips. I was that guy who was getting my teams to perform at a very high level. But I did it by getting to know them, caring about their day. If someone's dog got hit by a car, I knew it, and I genuinely cared.
00:09:39
Speaker
So I would say that I was a great leader. Um, people wanted to get behind me and we are going to go do this together and we just crushed goal after goal after goal because I built a team and they knew that they were doing it for me and we were doing it all together. Right. Okay. So you've mentioned, uh, best buy, you've mentioned Verizon, you mentioned your personal trainer and then real estate. Where'd that come in?
00:10:09
Speaker
I guess maybe that's the artist in me. I've always
Real Estate Adventures
00:10:13
Speaker
been that person. I could look at an ugly building and be like, that would just look so much better if you just did change this and change that. The first time I did it, it's a closed business now. It was called American Furniture and TVs. It was a big box store, but it was privately owned by a family.
00:10:31
Speaker
Anyway, when I was a manager for them, I bought my first house with $1,500 down, bought it on a lease to own contract. I'll tell you what, it was a $45,000 house, but that was one of the proudest things that I ever did. I bought my own house with my own money. The guy gave me six months to get everything together. During that time, I
00:10:54
Speaker
did the painting, I pulled the carpet, I did some changes to the house. By the time it got appraised, it was worth $26,000 more than I needed for the loan. I'm like, well, hell, I could do that a couple of times a year and not have to work in retail anymore because it's long hours. I started purchasing houses. I bought one for a bank-owned property for $15,000 that I later sold for $74,000. I just started
00:11:23
Speaker
buying houses. Here's the thing that I learned, however, about real estate investing is HDTV absolutely glorifies how easy it is. If I wanted to go in and save all the money, so I learned how to do everything myself, but it took me six months to do each house because I was doing everything by myself. If you're netting $27,000, $30,000 on a house, that's great, but if you only do two of them a year,
00:11:48
Speaker
and you're working your butt off to do that, then not going to pay the bills. No, no. Like in the, in the real estate side, they'll get into like, I mean, the money is getting a business side. It's great, but like, this will help us lead into like the life coaching too. But you, I mean, the, the pride that you get out of like being like, look at that and like fix it up in order to see it. And like, I mean, I know just for us is like,
00:12:11
Speaker
women get this too, but men, the project. I know my family owns a bridge building company. I worked for them one summer about the bridge. Every time I drive underneath that bridge, I'm like, look what I did. I helped do that. For you to be able to look at it and just be like, I took the time. I did this. This is what I accomplished. There's a lot into that for the real estate side.
00:12:31
Speaker
Yeah, and I'm sitting in a house right now that I gutted to the studs. So when I met my wonderful wife, she's a mortgage loan officer, and I was flipping houses, but I also worked for a builder. So I had a wealth of knowledge about how to tear a house apart and put it back together. So we bought a bank on property down in Florida that's on a small lake. And when I say I gutted it to the studs, I gutted that thing to the studs.
00:12:57
Speaker
And my wonderful wife, I love her to death, she came up with this great idea to rip out the ceilings. So it went from a project where we were just going to put a new kitchen in it and change some walls around to make an Airbnb suite to let's rip these ceilings out. That would look wonderful. Sounds about like Chris.
00:13:19
Speaker
She's so good. Because for her, it's like, I just rip out the ceiling. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, how hard could that be? Right? Right. I love it. But it's not like you're more attached to it because I don't mean when me and my wife, we do like projects in our house, just emotionally, like we just look at it like, man, we've done so much to this house together. Right. Yeah. You know, we're like, oh, this is just like really good times and what we accomplish and look at it. This makes you attached to like your projects so much more.
00:13:42
Speaker
Well, and I'll tell you guys a lot. I mean, at the end of the day, it's turned out better than we expected. It costs more than we expected. It took longer than expected, but people come to this place and it seriously is like a retreat. I mean, we're on a small lake. We moved down here to support our church. There's constantly connection groups coming over. The International Friendship Council just had a meeting here. So when the sun sets on our small lake and you're sitting on a 700 square foot deck that you built with your bare hands,
00:14:12
Speaker
I mean, you're right, man. It's a sense of accomplishment that you did that.
00:14:18
Speaker
Yeah. And you get to provide that. So like, since we don't have a ton of time, let's get, I want to get into the life coaching side. Cause this is where I get really excited. Cause like the things that you get to dig into with people and find what they're getting into and what like, and so my thing is like, when you go into all these things that you talked about before that they're lost or they're just not quite feeling like
The Role of Emotional Intelligence
00:14:38
Speaker
what they're getting there. And then you have to get into your emotions and like really dig into that. So like explain to me like through your certifications and everything like that, like,
00:14:47
Speaker
how you fell in love with digging into and helping people become legitimately just more like emotionally smarter about themselves. I want to answer that for you. I want to answer that for you. Go for it. Because if you look at his past, and this goes back to the uncommon life, and this is why we build a practice on Commonwealth Partners, is because everything that you did was reinforcing what you're doing now. Like thinking of management.
00:15:12
Speaker
Right? Thinking of the project side of things, thinking of the personal trainer, what you're doing is solving challenges for people, helping them get over the hump, building a team, and then casting a vision and helping them achieve it. So for me, life coaching is like, yeah, you've been doing this your whole life. You know, like, well, people are sometimes like, oh, well, you've never done that. Well, but have you, you know? So anyway, I didn't want to answer that, but I do think it's interesting as I'm connecting the dots, like you've been doing this for quite some time, not just, you know, six months.
00:15:42
Speaker
Oh yeah, my first real job was, I mean, when I was in my early 20s, I became a personal trainer because I wanted to help people overcome the challenges that would, and there's just a sense of, talk about a sense of accomplishment, man, you've changed somebody's life.
00:15:57
Speaker
And you're right, Phillip, whenever I was doing that in retail, I had one of my one of my best success stories was I was a store manager for that same Verizon company. And a young, a young kid walks in, he's in his 20s, he's got that big gold necklace and his shirts buttoned all the way up. And you could just tell he just thought he was interviewing to be the CEO of this place.
00:16:19
Speaker
But he walked in with that enthusiasm and those big bright eyes and was just, man, just and it was almost like Yoda working with Skywalker, dude. It's like you have this person who's got this capacity and this ability and this desire and you can take away all the things that are holding them back and they're listening to the things that you're teaching and they're and they're doing those things. And
00:16:43
Speaker
every time he'd get out of his stool and go do the thing that I just told him he needs to do to talk to this person and break down this wall or overcome that objection, man, him getting that big sale, I mean, that's what charged me up. And that's why I became an award-winning regional sales manager for the largest Verizon company in the world. I mean, it's because I built it, helping people like Brock be the best he could possibly be.
00:17:10
Speaker
I don't want to break down on how you help people. I feel like this word gets thrown around so much. I help, I help, I help. But helping is so different to every individual. It's not just coaching or just telling someone to do something. I know in the short time I've been here, Phil's my coach. He's our team leader. He'll tell me to do something, but
00:17:33
Speaker
He doesn't tell me. It's like, oh hey, we'll solve it. I'm like, I want to do this. He's like, okay, thanks. And then you go back and you're doing, you're like, I don't think that was my decision. You can't just let me do that. That's what a good coach does, right? He makes it your idea because it's what needs to happen. But it's like, I mean, that's what a good leader does, right?
00:17:56
Speaker
Well, I'll tell you guys what, the funniest thing about being a good coach is A, you have to have somebody understand where they want to go. I mean, you guys might believe it or not, but there's a lot of people that are in their forties that don't even know what they want to do still. So maybe the first step is getting them to say, okay, well, you know that you're not happy where you're at. Where would you like to be? What does that look like? If you could step into your dream reality, what would you be doing?
00:18:25
Speaker
would you be living? Who would you be with? What would that person look like? And just getting them to kind of just put the brakes on the because we're all we're all I got a book in my head that I really want to write called life is a trip because it's almost like taking a trip from Iowa to Florida. I have a destination. So now I know at least where I want to go.
00:18:45
Speaker
I can get there through a car, I can get there on a plane. So based on my resources, I can get there faster or not. And there's going to be challenges with all of those. If I'm going to drive my car, is it healthy enough to make that trip? I'm going to need gas, I'm going to need resources.
00:19:04
Speaker
You've got to plan your life like you're going down this highway and sometimes you might be on the wrong road because it doesn't feel right. I want to turn right if I want to get to the destination I want to get to. There's a detour.
00:19:22
Speaker
We travel a lot and sometimes there's car accidents. So that's going to change that person's life and it's going to interrupt yours as well. So as we're bumping into each other on this journey, you got to prepare yourself to know, first, where do I want to go? Okay, I know where I want to go. What resources do I have to get there as quickly as possible? Evaluate that. So to answer your question, the first step, honestly, is getting someone to understand they are one place and they want to be another. Tell me what that looks like.
00:19:53
Speaker
I want to know how you handle the roadblocks. I know we find that in our world. Someone's like, I want to open up a business. I want to do these things. Cool. You have $100,000 in credit card debt and a bunch of leases. You're up there with your eyeballs and you can't manage your money, but you want to open up a business.
00:20:13
Speaker
So the hard part with the business is you got to be able to manage your money, you know, right? Right. So we, you know, then we have to go down that hole of like, okay, what skills do we need to work on and strengthen before we go do this so we can make sure our success probability is the best. But how do you like help people find those roadblocks and then work through those roadblocks?
00:20:35
Speaker
Well, you just identify them. So, I mean, to your point, the biggest part about having the destination, okay, I've got that knocked out, you got to empower someone to believe that it's even possible. So if that's what you want to do, these are the things that are going to be required in order for that to happen. So my wife's a great example of that as well. She has somebody who wants to buy a house. You look at their credit situation and say, okay, well, if that's what you want, that's great. This is where you're at right now. These are the steps that you need to take to put that stuff
00:21:05
Speaker
cut your credit card debt down, save some money up. So you identify, this is your target, this is what it's gonna take to accomplish that target. Are you willing to dig in and do that work? And then you empower them to know that it is possible, you can do it. I honestly believe that God puts those things inside of us. And that's the gut feeling that you have. That's the thing that when you're doing a job and you're not happy with that job, it's because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing with your life.
00:21:35
Speaker
Yeah, but I 100% agree with you, but then there's those people out there, because if they're in their 40s or 50s and you're not doing what you enjoy, there's a reason why you haven't taken that leap, right? How do you get someone from, because usually what I find with money, because I'm an accredited financial counselor, so I like the therapy side of things and the emotional side of things.
00:21:58
Speaker
And so if they're spending their money wrong or they're into some major debt, there's usually some sort of like emotional issue roadblock there that they have to work through. So like for you, like, you know, you got to find out like, why haven't you found this earlier? Why are you, you know, like, it's awesome you're taking action now.
00:22:17
Speaker
But what prevented you from taking action earlier? Because I mean, that's going to be the roadblock that we're going to find on our trip to Florida. Oh, absolutely. Well, and if you don't address it. So you're touching on a course that I actually created or facilitate called the ultimate journey. And what the ultimate journey does is it gets you to get real.
00:22:37
Speaker
I mean, I went in, I went through that program because I was that guy who was listening to all the motivational videos. I'd go to the gym and I'd bust it out and instead of listening to music, I'm just filling myself for all the motivational stuff I can possibly get. But what I realized was
00:22:54
Speaker
I was doing that because if you if you visualize a bucket that has holes in it, we're all basically buckets that have holes in it. And some of them are small holes from the thing that that person said that I'm still carrying with me. Some of them are big holes. I got molested by my aunt, you know, whatever. So the more of those holes that we continue to just left
00:23:15
Speaker
exist, the more we need to continually fill ourselves up with stuff. Maybe that's buying this thing, or maybe that's drinking too much, or maybe that's the drug, or whatever that is. The more holes you have in yourself, the more you need to just continually be working and working and working to keep filling your bucket up because you got so much of it draining out.
00:23:37
Speaker
So identifying, getting real about where you are and why, that's a huge thing that is transformative in everyone's lives. And whether you're talking about your finances or your fitness or your relationships or your marriage, those things, if you don't stop and plug those holes up, you're just going to continually be drained and working so hard to just get anywhere.
00:24:02
Speaker
100% like I have you ever like I love you talking about motivational videos and all these things and every once in a while I watch them but like now like kind of went on this bandwagon where like I'm anti motivational stuff and it's all because I have you ever heard of David Goggins?
00:24:18
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. So I love this guy. Like he sits there and says, he's like, his book even, he's like, this is not a motivational book. He's just like, if you need motivational, like motivational videos and speeches and all these things, they only work when things are going well. Like you feel good.
00:24:35
Speaker
But like, he goes, how do you do something when everything is going wrong? How do you stick the path when nothing's going right? Because it's like no motivational video out there on YouTube or anything like that is going to bring you out of your hole of when it feels like the ceiling is just falling. So like, and that's like what you're getting into. Like you have a bunch of holes in your bucket and if you haven't gotten real with yourself and actually did what you need to do to fill those things so that you can actually keep trucking,
00:25:04
Speaker
You know, and stick to the path. You know, it's good. Yeah, that's do the analogy I use in that in that class when I was going through it was, if you and if you envision a boat, and the boats got an anchor and the anchors down, even if you floor the gas that boat is going to move, it's going to drag that anchor but that boat is going to move.
Challenges in Client Coaching
00:25:24
Speaker
I could stop, pull the anchor up, and then I could go so much farther, so much faster with so much less energy if I would just stop and pull up the anchor. Right. Let's talk about some of the anchors that you've had to deal with with your clients. That's kind of fun for me. Sorry. You can just high level it.
00:25:47
Speaker
Oh yeah. Well, I mean, some of the, some of the biggest ones are, uh, the, the, the, you like to talk about the successes, right? I mean, the, the Brock's of the world that who, who you're able to work with and overcome, and he becomes the best version of himself. And I still talk with him and still see him, um, living the life of his dreams. I mean, he's with the, he's married to the woman of his dreams. He's doing the job of his dreams. Um, the ones that are hardest, honestly, are the, are the people who don't take your advice. And I'm sure you guys have worked with those people.
00:26:18
Speaker
There was a period in my life I thought I wanted to be a counselor, like get certified as like a psychologist. And the reason I didn't was you pay attention to the people who in our lives, hopefully you don't have a lot of them around you, but they're continually stuck in this cycle. And they ask you for your help. And you offer them some things that would absolutely help them. And then they don't take the advice.
00:26:43
Speaker
And then they just continue to struggle in their relationships or struggle with their finances or struggle with whatever. So I have a couple of clients that one of which she was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. And this girl was a director of marketing when she met Mr. Wonderful, who eventually got her to be wandering the streets, basically homeless. And
00:27:09
Speaker
She is one of those people who are, she's just now starting to see the light. But man, it's so much work getting some people to realize that this is what you're telling me. This is what the solution is. If you do this, like right now, get in your car, come over here. I don't even know what that looks like, but I know it doesn't look like what you're in right now.
00:27:30
Speaker
Yeah. So I got to dig into this. I love this anchor bucket analogy because I love therapy. I see a therapist. I'm all about the emotional thing. So I'm a meathead. So when you're talking about being a personal trainer, I'm like, talking about my own world. And
00:27:46
Speaker
I love it when guys are like, no, I won't see a therapist. It's like, oh, really? Like you'll be in the gym working on all your muscles, but your number one muscle you won't work on. So you're a big weiner to me. But anyways, so when you're coming across these people and you're talking about these hard situations, what do you do? How do you help someone process
00:28:09
Speaker
when they have some major trauma that like kind of is out of your realm. Like, you know, like they have some major therapy that needs to be done. Like trauma that like, like you mentioned, like being molested by your aunt or something like that.
00:28:21
Speaker
What do you do for your client then? When do you pass them off? Maybe it's the question or do you pass them off, right? Yeah. When you know that you're in over your head for sure. Like the young lady I was talking to you about, I actually got some counseling in order for me to try to help her. Cause she was actually a former employee of mine when I ran the Verizon stores and connected years later.
00:28:46
Speaker
And I found out her story and I was trying to help her man. I was trying to help her and I just could not understand. So my wife, my mom was severely physically and mentally abused for most of her life. She left her abuser one time and he tracked her down and he said, you ever do that again? I will kill those kids and I will kill you too.
00:29:06
Speaker
So she lived 20 years in fear, knowing that this guy is, it's capable, it's capable possible for him to actually do that. So I was in over my head with this young lady. I was, I would think as you guys would think, if you have, if you realize one day that you're standing in a bunch of mud and I don't want to stand in this mud, people like you and me and maybe most of your listeners would be like, okay, well, I don't like where I'm at.
00:29:33
Speaker
I need to change something right now and I'm going to change it right now and my reality will be different five seconds from now. That's not the same for people that are lost, man. And you guys nailed something that was really hard for me to understand when I became a coach and put myself out there because my whole business is optimization. I want to help people not just get better, but have the best life possible. And I can do that having been molested by my hands, having been around physical and emotional abuse for periods of my life.
00:30:03
Speaker
there was something inside of me my entire life that was almost like a light in a dark room there's just that light and i just always knew that it was possible and i could leave that stuff behind me and just get educated on how i can be the best version of myself and just do it and i did the work just like what you're saying i mean that's just like working out i mean
00:30:24
Speaker
If you wanna have bigger arms, you gotta go work on your arms. So if you're in a place in your emotional life or your financial life or your relationship and you don't wanna be there, you have to put the brakes on to be like, okay, if I don't know how I'm gonna solve this, I do know I don't wanna be here anymore and I'm willing to do the work. Maybe I can go find somebody who can help me get there faster.
00:30:47
Speaker
That's good. And as we are younger, we always valued coaches. Seems like when we get older and life actually really matters, we're like running away from coaches or therapists or things like that. It's just very interesting. Yeah. Well, you guys touched on something. So when I first started doing this, I wanted to help people with PTSD or women that were abused. So I met with a mental health guy who was in the practice for 35 years and he's like, well, those are great ministries. The sad reality guys is most people who need the help the most
00:31:17
Speaker
A, you can't even say that you're offering them help because sadly in our society, yeah, if you use the word help, that means I'm weak and I need help. I don't need help. Well, you do, but you just don't want to admit that you need help. And the people who need it the most are that I used a life lifeguard analogy with this young lady that
00:31:39
Speaker
I was throwing her a life preserver, man. And all she needed to do was grab it. And she would just sit there and drown and drown and drown and drown. And the life vest is right there. All you need to do is grab it. And she wouldn't. There are just people out there that are like that. Alan, I think the one thing you pointed out, I want to make sure I highlight that I want to respect a whole hard look. Because I know in my life, you see so many people that want to help other people. I want to help. I want to help.
00:32:08
Speaker
But really what they're doing is they're masking their own problems because they don't want to clean up their own closet. For you to come on here and you've been vulnerable to share a few things, traumas happening in your life is shown like even because we, I mean, we don't know each other. Like your relationships with Phil and you just told me like, oh my gosh, like here's a man that legitimately had to clean out his closet. You've seen, you felt, you've had to work through things. You've seen it like a therapist, a counselor, like you've received help.
00:32:36
Speaker
But you know the path, you know how hard it is to open up your own closet. That is hard, especially for men these days. I feel like men, I got a huge rant on men and how weak we are in today's society. But for you to have the strength and vulnerability to be like, I got to fix my closet before I can help somebody else's closet.
00:32:59
Speaker
Yeah, it's the same as when I was a retail manager. One of the things that we were taught is you want to get somebody to fall in behind you, show them. Show them that you can do it. Show them you have been where they're at. Get them to buy into you because when they see you doing well and they know that you come from some darkness, you're relatable. You've been there. So I've been divorced more than once. So would I be a great
00:33:24
Speaker
relationship counselor, you bet your ass I would be. Because I know what doesn't work. I know what does work. And everybody's different for sure. But even getting real about that kind of stuff. I mean, would you want to take advice about how to overcome a drug addiction by someone who's never had that problem?
00:33:43
Speaker
Exactly. I mean, that's the whole thing. It's like, I mean, I mean, that's my biggest thing. Like when I know when I help people with money and stuff like that, I tell them like, man, I can spend money with the best of them. And if you're spending more money than me, it's only because you have more money to spend. Like it took me a lot to dig into why I suck with money and I had to work on it and everything. But that's the whole thing is I think that's amazing for you is like,
00:34:07
Speaker
You've been through it. You know what trauma feels like. You know how hard it is. I'm going to keep pointing it out because I think that that's the biggest thing for you, is that you've been through it. You've opened your closet. You've shared your closet, and that you are willing to admit that we're not perfect. God didn't make us perfect.
00:34:27
Speaker
But like these challenges, just like we go to the weight room and we put our muscles underneath stress to grow. Like you have to traumatize your muscle to grow. Like if you don't understand listeners, you don't understand that. Like you get micro tears in your muscles so they repair and they come bigger. So, but emotionally you have to go through struggles to say like, just like your muscles that you have to go through like hard times to become bigger. So it's fun for me when you hear someone's story and it's like,
00:34:56
Speaker
It's sad, and you're like, oh my gosh. But you get to the point where you're like, this is sad. I am heartbroken that you had to go through something like this when you hear horror stories. But the opportunity of what you can accomplish if you heal is amazing. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it literally is a really fun, I think, topic because you are starting to launch your own podcast.
00:35:20
Speaker
And the goal of the podcast or the topics of the podcast are challenges. Challenges you face, challenges you had to overcome, what did you learn, which I think is brilliant. And honestly, it inspired our team to get together. It was our first trio cast that Brian, Aaron, and myself sat down and we were like, all right, what are some challenges you've had to overcome and what have you learned? And are you happier now that you've gone through those
00:35:44
Speaker
in the fact that you've changed person, but you're somewhat a better person because of it. So that's what you're doing next. You're doing podcasts, you're asking people about challenges. Like tell us what that one encourages you and your coaching, but also too, like how your listeners get involved and all that stuff. So tell us more about that.
00:36:03
Speaker
Well, I am a certified life coach and what I realized even in that world was there are so many people that are life coaches and they have a desire to help and they don't know how to get themselves in front
Supporting Life Coaches
00:36:16
Speaker
of people. So wanting to help them, I came up with the idea of launching a podcast that I would talk with other life coaches who specialize in some other things that maybe I don't.
00:36:28
Speaker
And just have a conversation with them about what kinds of challenges they went through, what are some steps that they took to overcome that. So you invite people into the darkness with you. So it's relatable. And then you paint the picture of what's possible on the other side. And then I'm able now to help other life coaches get themselves in front of an audience. It also helps me, obviously, because now I've got other people that are promoting me to their groups.
00:36:57
Speaker
So it's just, I love the idea of people helping people. I wanted to call my podcast people helping people, but somebody already stole it. I guess it's not unique enough. Dang it. Yeah. I think the best thing about the podcast is more like, hopefully the people start listening to us normalizing the fact that
00:37:15
Speaker
Everybody has issues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Joe Rogan is one of those guys who I don't listen to a lot of his stuff, but I have listened to some. And one of the things that he is on a loop for saying is we all have struggles, man. It doesn't matter. I met a guy one time who spends as much time turning off the gas and lights at million dollar homes that have Porsches in the driveway than he does in the trailer park.
00:37:39
Speaker
you know, people there are everyone has something that they're struggling with something that they're carrying. And if you liken that to like a backpack that people have, let's just say you're a baby and you're and you're given a backpack at your birth. And every little thing that happens you put some stones are small, some stones are big. But if you go through your whole life, just putting stuff in your backpack and carrying all that stuff with you, man, it's just
00:38:04
Speaker
Does it make your legs stronger? Absolutely. Am I a stronger person for having to carry some of the stuff that I've carried? I'm absolutely a strong person. But I also carried my backpack with me for 50 years to build up that strength. What if you can address those things? What if I taken that backpack off when I was in my 30s?
00:38:27
Speaker
How much different would my life be if I had just stopped and took the backpack off and let other people carry their stuff? Pull the anchor up. Pull the anchor up. Absolutely. All right. So Alan, who's your ideal client type that you're looking for?
00:38:44
Speaker
Honestly, I want to work with people that so my avatar, I mean, that's the question. My avatar would be somebody that's that is in their mid 30s. They've gone through college, they have a degree, they're probably not using and they're working a job that they have to to pay their mortgage and pay for the car that they're driving and all of those things that they have to impress everybody but themselves. So I want to work with people who go to the gym, I want to work with people who are willing to do the work.
00:39:15
Speaker
because being willing to do the work, if you are willing to do the work and you get me in your corner, I guarantee just like Mick made Rocky the best boxer he could possibly be, we will get there together. Yeah. So how do our listeners hear more about you and the services you provide?
00:39:35
Speaker
Well, it's actually pretty easy. All of my stuff, my branding is simply live life differently. I have a Facebook page, live life differently. I have an Instagram, live life differently. My website is livelifedifferently.dev. It's a development site. I chose that specifically because I want people to realize that even when I was doing real estate, my company was called Redevelopment. I want to take something that exists and make it better.
00:40:02
Speaker
So live life differently, dot just about everything and you'll find me. That's awesome. Well, Alan, thanks for your time, man. I'm super encouraged and really want you to be helping as many people as you can. And I love that your history has built you up to where you're at now. And if you were doing this every day, I don't think that you would feel like you're working at all. You're just helping people. So I appreciate your service like attitude, servant like attitude. And I appreciate just the time and effort that you have just
00:40:32
Speaker
serving people and helping them and getting in the trenches with them because it's valuable. I feel like Unkind Wealth is a little life coachy, but with their finances, right? Yeah. So, all right. Closing thoughts, Aaron Kramer, and then I want to hear clothing's out from the one and only Alan Hahn. Yeah, Alan. Wrap it up. I appreciate you going through your hard times being vulnerable and being that guy in today's world of, you know,
00:40:54
Speaker
really working through your emotions and then taking on the journey of like helping other guys do that because in women too, but you know like as a man myself and you being a man, like I just really tip my hat off to you the fact that you took on your struggle and you worked through it. So now you're going to go help others do it. That's amazing.
00:41:14
Speaker
Thank you. Yeah. Life is a journey. I mean, and there's all those little catchphrases that you can drop in a moment like this.
Striving for Personal Best
00:41:22
Speaker
But the truth is, man, that vision that we all have in our head of what we want our lives to look like, if your listeners only hear one thing, it is possible to have that. And the reason that you want it is it's possible for you to have it. So
00:41:40
Speaker
if it's something you want and you're willing to do the work, reach out to somebody, whether that's me or somebody else, man, reach out to somebody and make your life everything you can possibly make it. Be the best version of yourself. I love that. Yeah. Listen, you've been listening to the Uncommon Life Project. I've been your host, Philip Ramsey. And Aaron Kramer. Thanks for tuning in. And thank you, Alan. Keep doing what you're doing. And until next time, go be uncommon.
00:42:02
Speaker
That's all for this episode of The Uncommon Life Project, brought to you by Uncommon Wealth Partners. Be sure to visit uncommonwealth.com to learn more about our services. Don't miss an episode as we introduce you to inspiring people who are actively pursuing an uncommon life.