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5 Tools To Build Courage
16 Plays5 years ago
💗 After spending most of my life lacking the courage to do and say just about everything… including saying my name… I now stand on stage to speak in front of thousands of people, and I love it. It didn’t happen overnight… let’s be real… but once the first step was taken towards courage… it began to get easier and easier… faster and faster… Quickly stepping into the courage to do what I needed to do.
This isn’t about being fearless… that’s another conversation... it’s about developing the courage muscles and mindset to do and say the things you know you must do to create the life you truly deserve.
In this episode, you will learn 5 solid courage-building tools you can implement into your life and business... which will make you proud and courageous to be the Brilliantista you were born to be.
Sending Love + Light !!
xo Shari
📌 PS... Links mentioned in the show are no longer available... effective 2024
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Shari and her brilliant guests… go beyond the surface... sharing decades of Organizing, Lifestyle + Business Brilliance... and the reality of living in the REAL WORLD. ✨
Brilliantista ® podcast is like having coffee or tea with your BESTIES… the ones who understand you, cheer you on… and aren't afraid to offer tough love when needed.
Real-life conversations and practical tips on everything from… organizing your home (hello, less clutter, more joy!), lifestyle (developing healthy habits), and business tips (work-life balance)… to navigating life's challenges. We laugh, we cry, we learn... and we embrace imperfection.
Are you ready to create the life you want to live… and elevate your brilliance?✨
Press play… make some new BESTIES… and let's make it happen... together!
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xo Shari Kuster 🤍
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Transcript
Introduction to Courage and Tools
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello Brilliantestos to another episode of our Brilliantista podcast. On today's episode, I want to talk about courage. More importantly, the tools we need to have courage. Because if you're like me, I don't walk into courage every single step with ease and it doesn't come
00:00:19
Speaker
just without giving effort. So I figured out that there are some key components that have helped me to step into courage and I am excited to share them with you because I think it's so important as we move through life, especially as we are striving to build success in business and life that we have the courage to do so. So ladies, let's dive in.
00:00:46
Speaker
You're listening to the Brilliantista podcast where women elevate women who desire success in business and life.
Meet Host Sherri Custer
00:00:52
Speaker
Each week, I'll share valuable insights, actionable steps, and powerful interviews with brilliant women who open up to share the wisdom, tips, and strategies behind their success, helping you to elevate your own. I'm your host, Sherri Custer, a stay-at-home mom who built a seven-figure business with zero experience, but the willingness to figure it out.
00:01:17
Speaker
Well, ladies, are you ready to dive into this conversation about courage? I hope so. I really, really, really do. But before we get started, I just want to say I'm sitting here right now in my office being courageous to do this podcast, but not without cozying up to a cup of my favorite matcha lattes.
00:01:36
Speaker
So I don't know about you, but I am not a huge fan of a lot of sugar. And I found a way to make these delicious matcha lattes without all that sugar. So I'm really excited about that. So being courageous enough to figure it out, right? That's what this is all about.
Courage as a Core Value
00:01:52
Speaker
Okay. So I want to talk about courage and for a couple of different reasons and give you some tools to help you build courage that I use pretty much every day of my life, at least one or two of these as I move through life. Because when I discovered that courage was one of my core values, I knew how it was intersecting in my life. And so it's giving me the opportunity to kind of dissect what it is taken for me to step into courage. So I want to help you.
00:02:20
Speaker
First off, let's just talk about courage and how I feel that it's something that we all struggle with. So let's just give yourselves a little bit of reprieve here and know, you know what, I get it. You know, if you're stepping into wanting to improve your life, maybe you're starting a business, maybe you have a business already, and there's so many different aspects of that that's requiring you courage. Well, I want you to remember that
00:02:45
Speaker
Stepping through school and stepping through being a mother or being a sister or being a daughter or being a friend all requires courage. And when I discovered how intertwined courage was in my life, that's when I realized, gosh, we're dealing with this every day. And what is it we can do to be better at it?
Finding and Acknowledging Personal Courage
00:03:07
Speaker
With that being said, first off, I want you to take a nice, big, deep breath.
00:03:12
Speaker
And I don't want you to go to the place of the great fear that you have when you're super uncomfortable and you're not feeling courageous or you're thinking about that huge list of things that you should be doing because you know it's something that will help you and you're afraid of it, right? You have a fear of doing that.
00:03:31
Speaker
I want you to go to the place of brilliance, of feeling like you are the brilliantista that you truly are, whether you have to stand in your Wonder Woman pose or whether you have to just kind of feel that heart that's inside of you. I want you to feel that right now. These are part of some of the tools, but I just want you to feel that. I want you to remove the conversation and the chatter in your head of all the things right this minute.
00:04:00
Speaker
that you might not be showing up with courage. I want you to find that place where you feel courageous, where you feel like you're in your zone, that zone of brilliance, that that incredible place where you are just showing up and you don't have fear in any way, whatever that might be.
Embracing Public Speaking and Growth
00:04:20
Speaker
Whether you're a blogger in words to seem to flow and you can open up and share the wisdom tips and strategies that help to support somebody else.
00:04:30
Speaker
Whether that's the courage to be an incredible listener, you can sit there and openly listen to somebody, or whether you have the courage to show up every day for your job, whether you have the courage every day to feed yourself well, wherever courage shows up for you. I want you to feel that right now, like what's a moment of your life where that courage exists? And feel what that feels like.
00:04:56
Speaker
Now, I'm going to guess that most of you are not going to envision yourself standing on a stage in front of thousands of people and you have to deliver a talk by yourself on probably one of the biggest stages that has ever existed. That's probably not a place where most of us are going to feel courageous.
00:05:15
Speaker
And I want you to know that right now for me, that is a place that I get excited about. It's a place where I feel I can show up, but it's not where I started. I did not start in this place of wanting to be in front of five, 10, 15,000 people and be asked to speak. And the responsibility that comes with that, the responsibility that people are here, they've shown up,
00:05:42
Speaker
they're wanting something of value that they can take away that they can walk away from this moment this time that you're going to be speaking right and i would tell you that that kind of responsibility and that kind of courage did not exist in my life ten years ago but
Community's Role in Building Courage
00:06:00
Speaker
it does exist now and i wanna share with you even how i got to that point but how i get to the point of standing encourage when i have to say something to my kids when i have to stand for my values when i have to stand on my principles when i have to tell a friend.
00:06:18
Speaker
You doing this, actually, I didn't feel good about it. It hurt me. Being able to be courageous in so many different aspects of life, that's something I want to share with you. So if you're ready, let's just start off by one of the tools that I think is so important that has helped me have courage that I know will help you have courage as well. So that first one, and not necessarily that any of these are in order, so just kind of go with me with this.
00:06:45
Speaker
But one of these is community, a community of people who are believing in you. So to go to that story of standing on stage, I didn't go up there just running on in. Those were baby steps. There were lots and lots of baby steps that led me to that place. They were people who affirmed that something that I said impacted them.
00:07:08
Speaker
There were people along the way that said, you can do this. But it was also a group of women who I felt a responsibility to, to lead the way, because I wanted them to be able to get up and tell their stories. So there was a lot of different factors on both sides of, I believed in people, people believed in me, that community support that we walk together in.
00:07:32
Speaker
You ever have a situation where somebody is so seeing something in you that you are so not seeing in yourself, but they keep believing in you and they keep telling you, oh my gosh, are you kidding me? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's the kind of thing that I think is so important in helping you build courage.
00:07:52
Speaker
I've had a couple of people on this podcast who have been terrified and having somebody, myself, be on that other side, understanding where they're coming from and helping them walk through that experience, that's helped them step into their courage. So you have to find that community. You have to find yourself around women, which is another reason why this Brilliantista movement exists is because I want women to start seeing each other in a different way and understand
00:08:22
Speaker
how much we need each other to help walk through life, right? That's what we're here to do. So whether you're a part of a community in a network marketing business or direct sales business, whether you have found an incredible group of women who are on the same path doing similar things that you're doing,
00:08:41
Speaker
a mommy group. I found so much value in mom's groups, but you know, along the way, you have to have courage there. It's like to show up and you're bringing your kiddos into the group. There's judgment. There's all kinds of things, but being courageous enough to say, ladies, I need help. Like what do you do in these situations? What do you do in that situation and open up? So being courageous. So maybe somebody has to be the first one to open up that vulnerability vault.
00:09:10
Speaker
and allowing other people to show up. So community is so important.
Clarity on Core Values and Intentions
00:09:15
Speaker
Alright, next one. Clarity on your core values. Why is having clarity on your core values have anything to do with courage? Well, when you are clear on your core values,
00:09:28
Speaker
it's removing a huge amount of doubt from every aspect of your life because it's this marker, this gauge that you match up everything to. So if I'm clear and I have absolute clarity on my core values, I get to stand in those with confidence. So that builds confidence, which helps to build courage. So taking a deep dive and trying to spend some time in uncovering what your core values are
00:09:57
Speaker
It will help you be courageous in moments where maybe even saying yes and no is something you struggle with. So why do you need to know your core values? So you can be courageous enough to say, yes, that works for me, or no, that does not. But being courageous enough to do so. All right. Another one is knowing your intention.
00:10:19
Speaker
being clear on your why. If I'm in a situation and I know what my intentions are in that situation, knowing my why, why is it that I'm here? Why am I going to say this? Why am I going to ask of this? Why am I going to do this? What's the intention behind it?
00:10:37
Speaker
then I know that whatever chatter might be going on inside of my head that might be bringing up that fear, it begins to settle because I know my intention. So basically what's the outcome I'm desiring? What's the, why am I showing up to say or do or be this? So being super, super, super clear. Sometimes when you have to pause for a second in that moment and just stop and say,
00:11:06
Speaker
what is my intention? Why am I doing this? Why am I saying this? And you have to end up saying, because I have to, because of this, this, and this, or, you know, my intention is very clear. So this is why I'm doing it. So say, for example,
00:11:22
Speaker
You know something and you feel that it's gonna be uncomfortable. You're gonna be nervous You're gonna not feel you know, like excited to go do something But you know that it's something you should do and the intention behind doing it might be one of your core values or it might be the fact that you know that
00:11:42
Speaker
that it's going to benefit somebody. You know that it's going to serve that person to know what you know. And so you are so clear with that. And you're saying my intention is to pass along awareness to something. And that's my intention. And that's the end of it. So I can be courageous enough to step into this moment right now.
00:12:02
Speaker
say these words or take this action or do the thing because I know why I'm doing this, right? So that's another one. Another one. You guys are going to think this is so, so far out there, but I will tell you most of what shows up for us, encourage
Diet's Influence on Courage and Anxiety
00:12:20
Speaker
is anxiousness. We have so much anxiety that literally almost paralyzes us. So there's been so much research around a lot of factors around anxiousness, but it comes and it stems from our gut.
00:12:38
Speaker
That crazy right now that feeling is like oh my god i have butterflies in my stomach i'm sick to my stomach you know you're nervous you're anxious you got all the stuff going on well it's not just that sensation that you're feeling it's actually all of these microbes are happening inside of your gut.
00:12:56
Speaker
Well, how can you do something about that? Well, okay, Harry, ready? Your diet, how you're eating, the things you're eating. Well, we've been talking all these years and we've been hearing it for all these years, all fruits and vegetables. We need to switch that. I think we use fruits and vegetables in that order and we all kind of might've gotten stuck on the word fruit, but we need those fibers. We need all of that great stuff to go feed our gut the healthy things that it needs.
00:13:23
Speaker
I'm going to not go into a full on science nerdy conversation here, but I will tell you there's incredible documentaries that I have been like filling my mind with lately because I uncovered a way to help my gut.
00:13:38
Speaker
feel so much better. And that in itself helped that nervousness, helped that anxiousness, helped things just to kind of settle down. All of a sudden I had some type of superpowers or something like that, that I was able to handle situations in a much better way. So when we are trying to figure out why our tummies are churning and why we have so much anxiety in a situation,
00:14:02
Speaker
it could very well be chemistry. So we have to get to the chemistry. It's not just clearing our minds. It's not just removing blocks. Sometimes and actually more times than not, it's almost like, you know, when they say sometimes things are 80% this and 20% that, well, it's probably 80% your gut and 20% all the rest of these things. So go and learn more about that. I'll talk more about that on another episode, but today I want to talk about
00:14:31
Speaker
courage-building tools. Are you ready for the next one? Okay, here we go. We've talked about community. We've talked about clarity on your core values. We've talked about knowing your intentions and being clear on your why. We've talked about our gut and how that plays a role in our courage, right? But here's what I want to get down to all the way down to this. When we're in a situation
00:14:56
Speaker
And we are lacking the courage to step in. It's because we are not being honest with the story we're telling ourselves. We have to get clear. So the story we tell ourselves in situations
00:15:12
Speaker
my kind of look like what i used to call going hollywood might look like a very bad scripted dramatic scene in a movie but the reality is we have to go back and say is this real is this really really happening.
00:15:29
Speaker
Or maybe we are just making all of this up in a very, very negative way to where the outcome literally doesn't help us to win. We don't have a winning outcome. So to give you an example of what I mean by the story I'm telling myself, right? The story we're telling ourselves is how many times have you been in a situation and things are kind of happening and you're perceiving things to be a certain way.
00:15:56
Speaker
And you're not clear. It's not that somebody has given you the stamp of saying, yes, that's exactly what I was meaning to say. That was exactly what I was thinking. That's exactly the reason why I did what I did, right? You don't yet know, but you're making it up in your head, which is making you lack courage. You're probably shrinking a little bit. Something that happened just recently was I called my sister-in-law. First off, I had to step into courage to tell her about something. And then all of a sudden the phone hung up.
00:16:26
Speaker
And my first thought, the story I was telling myself is, oh my gosh, I offended her. I said something wrong. She hung up on me. Oh my gosh, what am I going to do? And then I said, Sheri, step into courage. First off, an emotion showed up. Not necessarily the words, the emotion showed up.
00:16:46
Speaker
And I had to then recognize what was the story I was telling myself. Then the next thing I went, oh, wait a second, rewrite the script, right? You get to rewrite the Hollywood movie and give yourself a different outcome. So be honest with yourself about what's really, really happening. And what was really happening was her phone died. Something happened. Her phone just hangs up on people. She calls back laughing, right? If I went to that place of, you know, smallness,
00:17:16
Speaker
I'm not really gonna get the results that i want so that's one example of it another example of stepping into courage for those of you who are in network marketing or direct sales or you have a business and you have to market your business and you have to
00:17:31
Speaker
Get out there and talk and everything else is the story you might be telling yourself is oh my gosh you know i don't wanna like sound so pushy i don't wanna sound so this i don't want them to think that's okay so that's why we have to go back to your intention right what's your intention.
00:17:47
Speaker
And then the next part is what's the story you're telling yourself? Are you playing out the whole dialogue of this is what they're going to say. This is how they're going to respond. This is what they're going to end up doing. They're going to hang up on me. They're not going to be interested. Like, are you playing out that story?
00:18:05
Speaker
And if you are, you got to rewrite that story.
Courage in Parenting and Leadership
00:18:08
Speaker
We have to rewrite the story so that we can create a different feeling for ourselves so we can show up and step into our courage and literally track it all the way back, right? We have to track it all the way back.
00:18:21
Speaker
So here's another one for moms. How many times are you afraid to say something to your children because you're worried about the outcome, right? What's the outcome going to happen? And you instantly go to, Oh my gosh, they're going to get mad. They're going to throw a fit. They're going to do this. They're going to do that. Like you might go into this whole scripted version of what's really going to happen. And it prevents you from stepping in with courage so that you can actually
00:18:47
Speaker
say and do or whatever, what it is that you know you need to do because it's important, right? So it's having to step in to being courageous. So rewrite the story. Rewrite the story. And maybe for sometimes with small kids, you're going to have to see yourself responding in a better way. So maybe you have to say something, maybe you have to do something.
00:19:09
Speaker
And you might say to yourself, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to say this, but when they act this way, I'm going to be able to handle it better. I'm going to allow them to do this. I'm going to allow them to do that. Or you can even say, you know what? They're going to react however they're going to react. But what I have to do is I have to hold my ground. I have to be clear that what I am saying and what I am doing is important.
00:19:34
Speaker
And this will give them an incredible lesson. So again, going back to your intention or your core values. Also, if you have a healthy gut, it's going to help you stay much, much calmer. If you have a community of women who are themselves stepping into courage and encouraging you to step into your courage, it's all going to make that moment so much better.
00:19:55
Speaker
Now, with all of that being said, you know, we could talk about the whole concept of seeing other people doing whatever they're doing should inspire you to do better, should inspire you to step into courage, but it should not put you in a position of comparison. I am one to raise my hand and say, I definitely experience comparison.
00:20:18
Speaker
And when I do, I have to step into courage and say, there are always going to be women who I admire and I respect. And for all of that, I have to see these women as the examples that is possible. It is absolutely possible. So that's the courageous words that show up for me when I am in a situation of comparing.
00:20:42
Speaker
Because, listen, my life isn't exactly where I would want it to be. But I know this. I know that it is possible as long as I keep moving forward. My community, this Brilliantista community, we're just getting started. So I have to keep being courageous. I can look over to the side and say, this woman is so far on the path of doing amazing things. And I have so much to learn and I have so much to grow.
00:21:08
Speaker
But then I'm over here with another group of women who they're looking at me and they're saying, Oh my gosh, she's gotten this together and that together and she's had all this success and she's doing great here and her kids are grown and whatever, right? All of this judgment, all of this perception and all of these thoughts are really keeping us from stepping into our courage.
00:21:31
Speaker
As leaders, there's so much that requires us to be courageous. We have to do things that others don't. We have to figure things out that others haven't figured out yet. We have to lead by our actions, right? So it is so important, which is one of the reasons why I wanted to share this on this episode of the Brilliantista podcast,
00:21:52
Speaker
because my desire truly is for you to find those little tweaks in life, to help you to navigate and helping you to reach that place where you truly do feel better and more proud and more courageous and more brilliant, right? I want to see that in all of you because I know that it's not that we come equipped with all things that we need in order to show up with our brilliance.
00:22:19
Speaker
We are literally bringing it all together piece by piece by piece. And this is one of those pieces that I want to help you as I'm helping myself. Doing these podcasts, guys, I was terrified to sit there and talk into a microphone the very first time I sat down. I thought, this is really weird. And guess what? I said, oh, this is so stupid. And I am so terrible at this. And this sucks. But I kept saying to myself, Sherry,
00:22:47
Speaker
Courage is so important to you. You want women to step up. You want women to tell their stories. This is a big part of this Brilliantista is helping women tell their stories.
Listener Engagement and Community
00:22:56
Speaker
You got to show up. We've got to all show up and tell our stories. So I had to be courageous and I invite you to be courageous. I invite you to believe in yourself.
00:23:07
Speaker
I invite you to find your community. I invite you to connect with the women in this community. As we start to keep bringing this out, depending on when somebody might listen to this podcast, who knows? Our goal is to have communities all over so that women can come together because guess what my other core value is? So I have my top two, courage and community. Am I in alignment with that? Yes.
00:23:31
Speaker
Another thing on one of our other episodes, I encourage you go back and listen to the episode on core values. So important. I want you to uncover these things for yourself.
00:23:42
Speaker
And as you do, I promise you, you're going to have this beacon, this brightness, this brilliance that's just going to keep coming from you. And it's a ripple effect. Literally, you'll see it in your friends, you'll see it in your kids, you'll see it in the people you work with, you'll see it in your teams, you'll see it all around you.
00:24:01
Speaker
You truly do become the beacon. And that's what I'm so excited to be a part of, to watch. And as we all go through this, right, that's what I want to see for all of you. And we can't do it being terrified and afraid and hiding. We have to do it by stepping into our courage. So I hope this is encouraging you to do just that.
00:24:28
Speaker
because I know all the way to the core of who I am. I know if I have changed in the drastic ways that I have changed on the journey of the life that I have had through some of the worst things that people would ever have to endure and step up and show up and be willing to
00:24:47
Speaker
talk and to be willing to open up and to be willing to grab a hand of somebody that may not necessarily be very nice, but knowing there's a story behind that person and being courageous enough to be loving either way, because I know that that person needs something.
00:25:04
Speaker
I know you can do the same. I know it.
Tools and Support for Building Courage
00:25:08
Speaker
I know it, I know it, I know it, and I believe in you. Now the job is for you to take all of these tools, and there are more, there truly are more tools that will help you build courage. I want you to visualize your courageous, brilliantista self. I want you to visualize what you look like right now.
00:25:29
Speaker
Even doing some of those things that prior to this podcast you thought you couldn't do. I want you to see that you have something inside of you that is building up and giving you the strength to do those actions that you have been resisting and not doing.
00:25:49
Speaker
the things that you know will bring value into your life and into the lives of other people, the things that you know you should do for your health, the things that you know you should do for your happiness, the things that you should be doing for your relationships, showing up with courage. I want you to visualize, keep visualizing that, keep holding on to that vision of you doing just that.
00:26:16
Speaker
And every day when those moments happen that you are lacking the courage, I want you to click into the Brilliantista community and I want you to post in our Facebook group. Ladies,
00:26:29
Speaker
I need to know that I'm not alone. I need to know you've got my back and I want you to do that. And if you need to, send me a direct message. Give me a little voice message. I love the voice messages and say, Sherri, I am wanting to step into courage today and I'm going to follow these steps and I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Knowing that you have my back because I do, I have your back.
00:26:55
Speaker
So see all of that right now for yourself and walk all the way through and just remember, right? It takes a community of people believing in you, a clarity in your core values, knowing your intentions being clear, very, very clear on your why and not necessarily a life why, but why are you needing to do this one thing? Just narrow it down to this moment, this time, like why are you doing this?
00:27:22
Speaker
helping to reduce that anxiousness and start with the gut. Really, I'm not kidding you. It is transformational, transformational. It's one of the things that I have become super passionate about. I can talk all day long about gut health. I can
00:27:37
Speaker
totally talk all day about gut health and how it affects us, how it affects us emotionally, how it affects us physically, how it affects our overall wellness. This is not a small part of who we are, like not at all. It's a big part of who we are.
00:27:54
Speaker
And then the other is just being honest with yourself. What's the story you're telling yourself that is making you lack the courage you need in order to step in and rewrite that story? So ladies, as you are sitting in this moment right now, visualizing your courageous brilliantes to self,
00:28:13
Speaker
I want you to want that for someone else. I want you to want to pour that feeling and that sensation on another woman. I want you to be part of that woman's community in helping her build that courage. You can share this podcast with them. You can share your belief with them. Want it for them.
00:28:37
Speaker
and it will come back to you over and over and over again. And that is how we will help the world show up with their brilliance and we will all benefit, all of us.
Closing Thoughts and Encouragement
00:28:51
Speaker
And I'm so excited to watch this happen for you. So as I wrap up this episode, if you have not yet listened to the Core Values episode, I invite you to go and check that out.
00:29:05
Speaker
I also invite you to listen to the other episodes we've had because these women have stepped in and worked through their fears and stepped into courage to share their stories, all designed to help you grow and become better. So ladies, thank you so much for spending some time with me and I cannot wait for our next week's episode of our Brilliantista podcast. You're going to love this. I hope you do. I have one of my favorite people who will be coming on
00:29:32
Speaker
And you're going to love hearing her story because talk about somebody stepping into courage. Well, she definitely did it. And as she did, all she wants to do now is do it again and again and again. And that literally makes me cry the happy tears. So bye for now, brilliantistas. We will be back next week.
00:29:55
Speaker
Thanks for listening to the Brilliantista podcast. If you love the show and have a moment, please let us know by leaving a review or subscribe to the podcast. Truly, this would mean the world to me and my team. And remember, ladies, share this with your friends because that's what friends do. If you want to stay connected, go to brilliantista.com and join our Facebook group. You can also find me on social media at Sherry Custer or Brilliantista on all platforms.
00:30:21
Speaker
Most importantly, I hope you heard something today that inspires you to elevate your brilliance. Bye for now, Brilliantista. We'll be back next week.