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How To Build Belief In Others
15 Plays5 years ago
Tihane DeKneef’s life was transformed entirely because someone believed in her before she believed in herself. From her experience... we learn one of the most valuable lessons… You can change lives by putting judgment aside and seeing a person's heart... more importantly… helping them SEE THEMSELVES and see THEIR GIFTS.
Sending Love + Light !!
xo Shari
📌 PS... Links mentioned in the show are no longer available... effective 2024
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Shari and her brilliant guests… go beyond the surface... sharing decades of Organizing, Lifestyle + Business Brilliance... and the reality of living in the REAL WORLD. ✨
Brilliantista ® podcast is like having coffee or tea with your BESTIES… the ones who understand you, cheer you on… and aren't afraid to offer tough love when needed.
Real-life conversations and practical tips on everything from… organizing your home (hello, less clutter, more joy!), lifestyle (developing healthy habits), and business tips (work-life balance)… to navigating life's challenges. We laugh, we cry, we learn... and we embrace imperfection.
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Press play… make some new BESTIES… and let's make it happen... together!
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xo Shari Kuster 🤍
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome, Brilliantistas, to another episode of our Brilliantista podcast. Let's just start off by saying today's guest, Tahani Deni, is going to blow your mind. Honestly, I have interviewed a few people in my day and when I got to meet Tahani, the thing you'll see and you'll hear from Tahani is she is willing to share her story without the filter.
00:00:24
Speaker
So you're going to hear some pretty raw conversations. So as we do here on these Brilliantista podcasts, we really want to open up. We are not here to show you or to share with you some fluffy story that's going to make someone ourselves basically feel better, but to truly help you to feel better about who you are and to understand you are not alone.
The Power of Belief in Business
00:00:48
Speaker
So
00:00:48
Speaker
In this interview, we're gonna talk a lot about the power of believing in other people. If you're working in building a business or you're building a team, how important it is to the success of your company or to your business to truly believe in people. And her story and her life all really did start by someone who believed in her. So it's so important for us to talk about that.
00:01:14
Speaker
but also about culture about community and really what she's doing she has built a successful business in the network marketing space and using social media she's going to talk to you about some of the do's and the don'ts of how to utilize the social media platform to build and expand
00:01:34
Speaker
And if you're in any business, any business at all, social media is probably a big part of your marketing strategy. So as a marketing strategist, I want you guys to hear it, not just from me, but from other people, how you're going to utilize it.
00:01:49
Speaker
She will open up in a big way and i can't wait for you to hear it and one of the things that i know that a lot of a struggle with is we're looking for purpose and we're looking for meaning in life and she really has some great things and some great insight for us to all here and learn from so i can't wait for this interview to get started so let's dive in.
Podcast Mission & Tahani's Journey
00:02:13
Speaker
You're listening to the Brilliantista podcast where women elevate women who desire success in business and life. Each week I'll share valuable insights, actionable steps, and powerful interviews with brilliant women who open up to share the wisdom, tips, and strategies behind their success, helping you to elevate your own. I'm your host, Sherri Custer, a stay-at-home mom who built a seven-figure business with zero experience, but the willingness to figure it out.
00:02:45
Speaker
Today, I am so excited to introduce you to our special guest, Tahani Denit. And she is somebody I had an opportunity to meet a while back when I was in network marketing. And her and I have, you know, we have kind of a unique connection and having an opportunity to get to know her as well as get to know her story. She was one of the people that I, one of the women that I wanted to bring on to this Brilliantista podcast.
00:03:15
Speaker
to share her story and as you begin to listen and hear her beautiful, beautiful transformation and as she stepped into grace of loving herself and an opportunity to love women as well. So Tahani, would you share with our wonderful audience here on the Brilliantista podcast a little bit about yourself so they can get to know you before we dig in?
00:03:43
Speaker
Yes, absolutely. First of all, Sherry, I just have to thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak here and just for creating this platform for women. I think it's so important that our stories are heard, that we have an outlet and just a space to be really real and authentic with people. So thank you for having me. I'm super excited. So again, my name is Tihani Deneef and I live in Honolulu, Hawaii. I'm born and raised in Hawaii. I live here with
00:04:09
Speaker
My amazing husband, Luke, who is an artist. We run an art business together out here in Hawaii. We are dog parents. We have a dog named Boo, and she is six years old. She's the cutest thing. If you follow me on any of my social platforms, you'll know her whole life story. But I'm a network marketer and a business owner.
00:04:33
Speaker
I've been in network marketing for the past six years. It's been a really interesting and crazy journey in how I got here. My past is in bartending and cocktail waitressing. That is all I've known since I graduated from
Career Transitions and Personal Revelations
00:04:49
Speaker
high school. I haven't worked in retail for a hot minute, but majorly in the restaurant and nightclub and bar industry. I did that for
00:04:58
Speaker
eight years of my life until I was 28 years old. I started working when I was 20 because I was going to college, dropped out of college by the way. I moved to Honolulu from Kauai. Kauai is an outer island, a smaller island, a real small hometown feel. And I always wanted to move back to the city to go to school. So I came here, I had a little bit of family here, my dad and my grandma.
00:05:21
Speaker
Came here to study pre-med kind of crazy and I knew Shortly into it. I started looking at my schedule and looking at what the next four years five years six years seven years
00:05:33
Speaker
eight years of my life would look like and I was like, no, there has to be a better way. There has to be a better way. And growing up, I always kind of knew like, I remember watching my mom and my dad go to work and always thinking like, why do they have to work? And why do we spend most of our time away from people that we care about? Like at a very young age, it's kind of crazy. I was questioning these things like, why do I have to be in school for eight hours and see my parents for two hours in the evening and then go to bed and do it all over again?
00:06:02
Speaker
we would only have weekends together. And it just never made sense to me. So that was from when I was a little girl, like in kindergarten. But so I always knew that I was kind of made for more or created for a different purpose kind of to
00:06:20
Speaker
pave my own path, if you will. And so I ended up dropping out of college in my second year of pre-med and got into kind of the party scene. And that's where things got heavy. I got into cocaine and ecstasy very early on. I think I was, again, 20 years old, 21 years old, and met my boyfriend, now husband, at the time. And we just partied together for eight years. Drugs, cocaine, alcohol, every
00:06:48
Speaker
I can't say every single day, but that was kind of what our life revolved around and what we spent our money on. And I remember it was my 28th birthday. I had a bunch of friends over to my house to celebrate my birthday and we would find any little reason to celebrate and do drugs. So my birthday obviously was one of them. And I took, I don't know what I took actually. I thought it was ecstasy, but I started freaking, it wasn't the same feeling that I was, that I know
00:07:18
Speaker
To be normal when you're high on ecstasy and I knew that it was laced with something so I started freaking out I had to go upstairs and lay down and Told Luke my husband boyfriend at the time that I think something's wrong with me. I'm just gonna go lay down and he came with me and laid down with me and
00:07:39
Speaker
I ended up falling asleep and I thought I was going to die that night, which is thinking about it now and saying it now. It's like, oh my goodness, why didn't you get to the hospital or something like that? But that wasn't the first time that that had happened, but 28 years old. And I woke up the next day thinking, I am 28 years old. I feel like death. I look like death. What do I have to show for myself?
00:08:07
Speaker
Where did my life go wrong? How did I get here? I remember just feeling super, super depressed that day. And I got on my knees that night crying. My husband, Luke was at work. He was also in the industry bartending and things like
Network Marketing Beginnings and Support
00:08:21
Speaker
that. So he was at work. I got on my knees and I prayed, Jesus, God, if you're real, give me a new life. I can't go on like this anymore.
00:08:34
Speaker
And shortly after that, this was in February, six years ago. Shortly after that, a friend of mine on Facebook, I had never met him. I knew of him. We grew up on the same island, went to the same high school. He was a little bit older than me. And he started Facebook messaging me about losing weight and earning a free BMW. And I was like, what the heck is this guy talking about?
00:08:57
Speaker
And he wouldn't leave me alone. So a couple of weeks later, I was actually negative $4 in my bank account. And he called me and I just decided to answer the phone that time. I said, you know what? I remember the road that I was driving down. I remember I was driving an illegal car at the time that had no registration, no insurance. I didn't have a driver's license, negative $4 in my bank account, about to be negative $30 because they charge you the $30 overdraft fee.
00:09:26
Speaker
And I thought, you know what, I'm just going to answer his call because at this point, what do I have to lose? I don't even have money to buy whatever he's trying to sell me. So I'll just answer.
00:09:35
Speaker
And I answered and he gave me his pitch and I said, you know what, I'll meet up with you. So I ended up meeting up with him that night or that afternoon. I remember sitting in his living room and just him drawing the sticks in circles. If you're in network marketing or MLM, you'll know what I mean. So he drew the business plan for me. That was the first time that someone had seen something in me that I couldn't see in myself at the time.
00:09:59
Speaker
And that was the first time my hope had been reestablished. And so I said, you know what? I trust you for some reason and I'll call you later tonight and I'll have the $500 to invest. And so I invested the $500 and started my business that night.
00:10:16
Speaker
Woke up the next day and it was like the addiction to drugs and alcohol and everything Completely it was as if I had never touched any of that in my whole life I didn't have a craving for it. I didn't think about it. I didn't even realize that it was gone It was just I was just excited and focused on my business the bondage from all of that addiction was this was finished right then and there and so I
00:10:42
Speaker
That's why I ended up here. Wow, wow, wow, wow. We have some mutual experiences being in the same company, but I know that your start did not start in the company that you and I met in.
00:10:57
Speaker
You meet this person, and this person, like you said, saw something in you that you did not see before, which you and I both know that that seems to be one of those things we need. We need when we're looking, when we're seeking, somebody who believes in us before we can believe in ourselves.
00:11:14
Speaker
But there was something, there was obviously something in you that in whatever he might have said that helped you to believe in yourself. Do you remember maybe what he might have said that made you say, I can do this? Um, you know, I don't remember his exact words, but I remember the way he made me feel. Nobody had ever taken the time to sit with me and say, Hey, I believe in you.
00:11:38
Speaker
or even to make me feel like hey I believe in you and you have a purpose on this earth and this is something if I can do it you can do it and and that was true like I looked at him and I said if he can do it I can do it and I think that's that's one of the most important things when starting a business it's getting around people that are just like you or getting around people that you could share stories and it was shortly after that meeting I joined the business and
00:12:03
Speaker
He brought me to my first event. We had a regional event. The company was in momentum at the time. And so we had a regional event in Hawaii, which is like very, very rare in network marketing to have regional events in the islands because it's so far away from everything else and everybody has to travel so far and all that stuff. But we had a regional event here and I remember...
00:12:23
Speaker
seeing people come out of being homeless, sharing their stories of how they too were addicted to drugs and women who just pulled themselves out of it. And I looked at them and I said, if she can do it, then I can do it. But yeah, I don't remember exactly the words he said, but I for sure remember the way he made me feel. And I think that's what people remember. It's not really what you say, it's how
00:12:49
Speaker
you make people feel. And so when I bring people into my business now more so than ever, I'm always trying to be conscious of how am I making this person feel? How can I uplift this person? How can I let them know that I see something in them until they see it in themselves? And so I hope that kind of answers your question.
00:13:10
Speaker
Absolutely. And you're absolutely right. I'm going to just restate what you just stated, which is people, you or yourself included, do not remember what people said. You remembered how he made you feel. And that is definitely one of those important life lessons that we all need to remember that it's even the smiles, right? We can, we can put a big smile on our face and just smile at someone and we're not even saying anything, but how do we leave them and how do we make them feel?
00:13:39
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You were in network marketing and then what happened?
Struggles and Purpose Rediscovered
00:13:46
Speaker
Talk to me and talk to our audience about what happened and what was going on in your world. Yeah. I got really passionate about health and wellness because I had the transformation in myself. So the first company that I joined was a weight loss company and things kind of started to go downhill with that. Um, so I was looking for another company that, that had,
00:14:06
Speaker
Kind of the the product that I could stand behind and so I joined my second company and shortly after that Actually, let me take it back to my first company I was introduced to two women that I really looked up to and I was like if I could re-sign up I would sign up under them and when I left that company I'd always I was following them on Facebook and kind of seeing what they were up to and had started in my second company and I
00:14:29
Speaker
But again, I just really felt like God had been calling me in a different direction. It wasn't an easy decision. And so I kind of started looking at different companies and different leaders and this time with a little bit more wisdom and a little bit more experience and knowing what to look for in a company and in mentors. I found the two women had left the company that I had started my first company. I don't want to mention company names or names of people. I saw that they had left and joined
00:14:56
Speaker
my current company and so I said so I started to take a look and I did research and I prayed about it for a long time and I made the move about 25 months ago I think it was July 2016 when I moved to my current company now and that's how I met you
00:15:13
Speaker
And I got off to a great start. I knew that God had called me here and I knew that I was in the right place at the right time. But what happened was over the next year or so, I just, being in church and being a Christian, I felt like I wasn't making an impact.
00:15:34
Speaker
For God and an impact for his kingdom as you know, like he brought me into network marketing a year later I gave my life to Christ and so I know that I've always known That from the beginning that I've had I have a very high calling in this industry but just being in church culture and in church setting, you know, it's
00:15:53
Speaker
we get applauded when you let people know like, oh, I'm starting a ministry or I'm starting this. I'm a youth leader. I ended up becoming a youth leader and got all the cheers and claps and recognition and things like that. But when you tell people I'm starting a business, I think the church really kind of doesn't
00:16:12
Speaker
have a good foundation in how to partner with businesses. So it's not as recognized or there's no equipping into how to equip entrepreneurs for that. And so I really found myself at this tension like, do I just go all in and start ministry and do that full time and get paid for that? Or do I continue in with network marketing? And so I was at a crossroads and I let my upline know
00:16:38
Speaker
Hey, I'm leaving the company and I was interested in some products in another company and things like that. So I dabbled for a little bit, but it was more so of a, I don't know who I am. I don't know what I'm called to do. It was just the season of confusion. And I'll be honest, I was depressed and it's really, really hard to lead a team and to pour into people when you feel like you have nothing to give. So that's kind of where I was at.
00:17:07
Speaker
thank God that my upline was so gracious. And she said, you know what, TT, I just, I love you. You do your thing. Do what you need to do. Let me recommend some people for you. Um, but I'll always be here as a friend. You know, I thought about resigning and turning in my papers for the company and God just said, no, don't do it. Hold on. Let's work on some things. And so for eight months, I,
00:17:34
Speaker
kind of went through this heart surgery with God and really this healing and praying and okay Lord I just want to do what you put me here to do for this time for such a time as this and so this was last July actually where I stepped away from that business and
00:17:54
Speaker
but my upline had kept in touch with me and we became really good friends from me stepping away and she was always praying for me and I started praying for her and going back to seeing something in people that they don't see in themselves, I really start to question, am I an entrepreneur? Can I really do this again? I had some pretty good success in my second company and in my third company, it was a little bit more of a struggle. So she ended up messaging me one day, hey, I have
00:18:20
Speaker
You know, I'm not sure if you'd be interested, but I have an extra ticket to the most powerful women in network marketing event. And if you want to come, you can come. It's a VIP ticket. Mind you, the AP ticket for that event is like over a thousand dollars. I think it's crazy. And she said, you know, you can just come and hang out.
00:18:39
Speaker
So I said, okay, I'll come, it's a free ticket. I started to feel in my spirit that I needed to be around creative people, around driven, not that people in the church aren't driven, excuse me, but I needed to be around women that are building businesses. I just started to feel that in my spirit, that lack or that yearning. I was praying and she answered, I got the message a couple of days later and I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it because I was just praying for this. And I ended up going to that event and that was where
00:19:08
Speaker
God spoke to me and he reminded me like, no, I've called you to this, to this industry. I've called you to this business. That's where I am now. So I kind of relaunched my business and I have to mention like during the eight months that I took off, my business tripled. So that's, if that's not a sign, I don't know what it is.
00:19:32
Speaker
Definitely a good thing. And that's kind of where I am now. And just being in this tension and being in this spot of, I don't know which way to go, church or entrepreneurship, it's like, no, I want to empower women. It's okay if you want to be in the church and if you're called to that, but you do also have a purpose beyond the church walls. And so my whole thing is
00:19:57
Speaker
And kind of what I'm working through right now is how can I empower women to discover freedom and purpose beyond church walls? Because I know that a lot of women in the church kind of, you know, it's if I'm not serving 20 hours a week or if I'm not doing this and if I'm not performing this way, then I'm not, quote unquote, Christian enough. And I think that's a lie. Oh, powerful. Yeah. Not Christian enough. Yeah. Not Christian enough. Yeah. Wow.
00:20:24
Speaker
Wow. Sorry. That just caught me. Okay. First off, I just love that you're willing to be open. When we started the concept of this podcast, I really wanted this to be an opportunity for raw conversation.
00:20:45
Speaker
for people to get the nuggets, yes, the wonderful takeaways that we can take away, but also just to hear kind of the struggle of thought, the struggle of the journey. And even though it's hard for people to completely understand where you're coming from,
00:21:05
Speaker
There are going to be people who will listen to this podcast, who will completely relate to what you're going through. But it's the story to honey, the story of that pull, that pull that you're experiencing of the back and forth. And I know for myself personally, gosh, that's there. That's real. And I know that other women are going to feel that as well. And you saying,
00:21:29
Speaker
not Christian enough and whatever religion anybody may be, whatever that might be, not feeling like you're not doing enough in that arena. So I'm definitely wanting you to go further into what you ultimately translated this experience that you were having. But I want to just dive just a little bit before we get in there. You're going through all of this.
00:21:57
Speaker
And you're going into, as you said, depression. You were, you know, depressed and seeking and trying to find answers. And I know the whole time you were, I have no doubt you were praying on a daily basis, if not hourly basis for an answer. And a lot of times we want the answer to come, like now, today, and they don't always come.
00:22:21
Speaker
Right? Yeah. And then this opportunity coincides with you praying for someone to reach out to you and say, you know, come with me to this event. And I know that even for myself, there is always this pull to do something, to serve in some capacity in some way and then not really understanding always which way to go. Yeah.
00:22:47
Speaker
What would you say before you go into what the transition was? What would you say was pulling at your heart prior to even sitting through that event? What kept pulling at you? What was the thing that lit you up outside of the church, outside of going and doing any of that service? What was lighting you up?
00:23:09
Speaker
Yeah that's a great question actually. So I think you know what really makes me come alive is to see women see themselves the way that God sees them. It was so huge for me to even begin that process to see myself the way that God sees me and so that's really what you know sitting through that event I was like
00:23:31
Speaker
And it was really cool because I've been to many events in network marketing. I've been to a couple of different industry events and to see women really step into their identity and step into who
00:23:44
Speaker
they were created to be and step into their confidence, you know, super messy and letting people know like, this has been a journey for me. And really seeing that freedom and purpose come alive, that's what I took away from that event. Really seeing that freedom and purpose come alive. I think when it comes down to it, all anybody ever wants is freedom and purpose. That's what we want. Freedom, emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally,
00:24:14
Speaker
and purpose for our lives whether it's being a mom or a business owner or serving in church. I was just having a conversation yesterday with my best friend who's a social worker and she works with elderly people and just how she's having these conversations with them and they really feel like they have no purpose and when it comes down to it it's
00:24:36
Speaker
freedom and purpose is what we all want. So I know that I found that kind of freedom and that kind of purpose through starting a business and being in this industry. So I hope that answers your question. Oh my gosh, absolutely. Yeah.
00:24:53
Speaker
As a person who has walked through the doors of network marketing, I just want to say it's as if it's laid out for
Core Principles of Network Marketing
00:25:02
Speaker
you. It's laid out for you to invite and to love on people, bring them
00:25:09
Speaker
to be surrounded by people who lift them up. And it's a business. At the end of the day, it's a business, but everything is what we make of it. Is that right? How'd you say that? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, at the end of the day, it is a business. We're selling a product or service. We're making money. We're helping other people start businesses. We make money off their efforts. But really, when you really peel the layers back and you take it apart, it's so much more than that.
00:25:36
Speaker
It's like I keep saying, it's seeing who people really are. I mean, look at me. I was a bartender cocktail waitress, had no experience in business whatsoever, college dropout. And here I am. And so it's really set up, I believe, for the average person. Granted, you stay consistent, you persist, you grow your skillset to make an extra $500 to $1,000 a month.
00:26:03
Speaker
all most people want an extra $500 to $1,000 a month. And at the same time, really loving on people and really forming these relationships and building this community and this culture. And that's probably one of my favorite parts of being in this business is really building communities and being a part of a culture and being a part of something that's so much bigger than just me.
00:26:24
Speaker
And so it's been a neat opportunity for me to love on people and they notice something different about me and it's an opportunity for me to share my faith or if I don't share my faith, it's just loving on them and just letting them know, hey, I believe in you and I love you. So yeah. Wow. And you do it so well.
00:26:45
Speaker
Thank you. It's like 10 minutes of a conversation with you is just so softening and you, you're pouring love. I can tell you're pouring love. You pour love in, in every conversation you and I have ever had, even though it hasn't been as many as I would love to have had, um, busy women, busy lives. You have such a great way of just pouring love on people. So I'm doing it well. I'm curious if you wouldn't mind sharing what are
00:27:15
Speaker
the top priorities that you have when deciding on a company to join? That's a good one. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. In joining different companies, I'm being part of three different companies, actually four, but the fourth one was just a dabble and didn't really do much with it. But having been in the industry for the past six years, I think my top priorities or the
00:27:39
Speaker
key things that I'm looking for when I'm joining a company is one, does the product or service, is it something that I can be passionate about? And is it affordable for people? I was in my previous company prior to the one I'm with now, great product, but
00:27:54
Speaker
the same time it was super expensive for just a 10 day supply so you know it was at times I felt bad asking grandma for $200 or whatever it is for her to eat for 10 days so product that people can stay on that's affordable and that you could be passionate about I think is one thing and in turn that creates retention I think retention is huge in our industry if you don't have retention and if
00:28:17
Speaker
People aren't ordering product every month continuously. Then you kind of have a job. You don't have a business. You don't have that residual income that we're all working for. So that's key for me when looking for a company. And then number two is really the culture that you're getting into. I was just having conversation with a girl the other day and how important culture is when you're bringing someone in.
00:28:39
Speaker
Is it a culture that you'll be proud to bring your friends and family into? Is it a culture that is professional? Is it a culture that has the same morals and values that you believe in or that you uphold in your own life? Is it a culture that you can feel good about sharing with people? And number three is mentorship and leadership. Are the people that you're partnering with going to be there to walk with you every step of the way? Do they have
00:29:06
Speaker
experience. What does their character look like? Do you know anything about them? That's another huge thing for me is really character building and being surrounded by people with good character is huge. So I would say those are the top three things. There are more obviously, but those would be the top three things that
00:29:25
Speaker
that I look for off the bat or that I would look for right off the bat. In all of that, you did not talk about, and I'm not going to say, you know, it's a bad thing or a good thing. You didn't talk about money. You didn't say, oh, compensation plan. You didn't talk about timing. You didn't talk about some of the top, let's call them top categories that some companies will talk about a lot when they're basically sharing the story of the company. You really talk to this connected feeling, this feeling that
00:29:55
Speaker
It had to align with you. The product had to align with you. The culture of the company had to align with you. The mentorship had to align with you. It seemed like you needed to feel in alignment with those categories. Would that be right? Yeah, absolutely. Because I think at the end of the day, it's like, can I go to sleep at night knowing that I'm building something that matters, that I'm bringing people into something that has a purpose, that I'm
00:30:24
Speaker
showing people that this is really a better way, of course, but it's, can I sleep at night? I've been a part of, I mean, I don't want to bash any companies, but I've been around a couple companies that it just wasn't in alignment with who I am and who I was and what I believe. And it doesn't need to be a Christian company, but just character, good morals, good values, that kind of stuff, it's super important. And I think
00:30:54
Speaker
It's who you surround yourself with as well that it eventually will take a toll on you spiritually, mentally, emotionally, even physically. So I think that should be the foundation of, at least for me, what I would look for. Yeah.
00:31:11
Speaker
So let me ask you a question. You just said something. The company that you are with, is this company a Christian company or is this company very multi-dimensional? I think it's very multi-dimensional and very accepting. Our team, you know, that's one of our
00:31:31
Speaker
Values is being accepting of everyone, no matter your sex, race, religion, sexual preference. Anybody's welcome here and we're going to love on you no matter what. And so that's kind of the foundation. So I wouldn't say that our company is a Christian company. I have a lot of people on my team that actually aren't Christian, which is super cool. So yeah.
00:31:54
Speaker
I just wanted to point that out because I know you when you were starting off and you were saying how you were looking for something a way to to serve a way to to carry on your your service and I just wanted people to know that this was not something you didn't make this decision solely based on looking for
00:32:15
Speaker
an opportunity to step into something that was in fact just regarding Christianity and that you really were looking to connect to on a greater scale. Absolutely. I do want to just give a quick shout out because I think that the thing that I learned from the team, from the culture that you are so blessed to be a part of, really was the mentorship because
00:32:43
Speaker
I think that a lot of people step into a company waiting for somebody to step in and to provide what is necessary for them. And what I love about what
00:32:55
Speaker
the team culture is that you are a part of really is that it was created. It was something that you can create. And so for people that are out there who are in direct sales or in network marketing, I just want to let you guys know you can create the culture that you want for your team. And
Building Authentic Communities
00:33:17
Speaker
and find as many people who align with your vision and your belief and just partner up with them and just bring them into one unit so that you can create that loving environment because that's something that a lot of people like Tahani and myself when looking for a company. That's what people are looking for. They're looking to belong to
00:33:40
Speaker
a loving, caring, real, authentic community. So it's not something you have to look for. You can create it as well. Absolutely. Absolutely. I know so many women who dabble a little bit in a direct sales company or a network marketing company, or at least purchase products through one, even if they're not themselves.
00:34:03
Speaker
engaged in it. But as a business for women who are looking like you said, whether it's making an extra $100, $500, $1,000 a month, whatever anybody's looking for, I'd love for people to hear your story as well as the perspective you have on this whole culture and this whole environment and what it's brought to people.
00:34:28
Speaker
But for them to know like these are real women, these are real women with real desires and that it's, it is real. It's not a pretend business by any means. And it does take work. What would you say are some of your go-to tools, like the tools that you use, the resources that you use that have helped you build your business and build your team and help you build community? What would you say are some of those?
00:34:55
Speaker
First and foremost, the team that I'm a part of, we have a private portal that the people that I've partnered with, they've made it so easy and so simple for anyone to come in, anyone with a Facebook page to come in and really succeed. I love Facebook. Facebook is probably my number one tool that I rely on to build my business.
00:35:21
Speaker
When I came into the industry, it was all home parties and Facebook was just kind of, back then it was like, buy my product and posting my business opportunity all over Facebook and getting unfriended and blocked and all this stuff. But the industry has really evolved, I think, in
00:35:39
Speaker
really leveraging the power of the internet and the power of social media. So social media and really building my brand around that has been huge for me. Number two is really staying rooted in my faith and constantly renewing my mind and working on my identity and reminding myself of who I am, that I'm chosen, that I'm favored, that I'm blessed, that I'm grateful. So I do spend a good chunk of time every single day, usually in the morning. It doesn't always happen in the morning.
00:36:06
Speaker
Actually, that would be a life. I said every single day. So most days I do spend a good chunk of time, you know reading and just affirming who God created me to be and the woman that he's created me to be and that's been I think the game changer for me and I've done business without him. I know what that's like and just having that faith and having my own faith and something to hang on to and someone to hang on to
00:36:33
Speaker
has been life changing for me, absolutely. Number three, I think would be to really stay plugged in. I try to stay plugged in as best I can with my team, not just the organization that I have, but with the team as a whole and the vision of the company and the vision that we're all going in.
00:36:52
Speaker
And we do have Facebook groups for that and things like that. So again, that takes it back to leveraging social media. Good old social media. Yeah, which is kind of how I met. Well, actually, no, I met you at an event, but it's how we stay connected. So yeah, absolutely. Hawaii, Colorado.
00:37:12
Speaker
It's a few clicks away instead of being it's down the street. No, it's a click away. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the beauty. Like when I came in, we were doing home parties all the time. And I remember my first home party that I threw is my first and last. One person showed up and they came late. They were about a half an hour late and I had all my leaders there and they were ready to do these presentations. And I felt horrible that just one person showed up.
00:37:39
Speaker
And so it's pretty cool now. I mean, like you said, it's just you're just one click away. You know, it's like you're right around the corner from my house and we can get on these FaceTime and Zoom meetings and things like that.
00:37:52
Speaker
these Facebook groups and things. So I've also leveraged Facebook groups. Those have been super pivoting in my business and the system that we've created for the team and for prospects to come and take a look. So if you're a prospect, you don't even have to leave your home anymore, which is cool because I used to hate getting invited as well. Okay. So I'm going to tell a quick story here because you're talking about
00:38:15
Speaker
the this whole concept about leaving home home parties home meetings whatever that you know whatever we did i started my career many years ago over twenty seven years ago i was in a direct sales company. More home party will definitely more home party type company.
00:38:33
Speaker
And it was home party, home party, home party. I didn't even realize at the time that I was one of the highest producing people doing home parties until I was the only winner of a contest that the company ran annually. For example, like the companies that are out there right now who offer these big trips that you go somewhere and you know, whatever all expense paid trips to wherever. Well, just imagine there's only one winner.
00:39:02
Speaker
that gets to go so i was that one winner and the only reason why was because it was a do or die like i had to work i was the sole provider for my kiddo and it was it was necessary that i had to get out there and work on constant basis almost every single night i was out doing a party,
00:39:23
Speaker
And i was always excited like i just left hanging out with people so it was a win win for me in both ways but that was way back when we didn't have social media when we actually connected with people yeah well fast forward. To almost eight years ago when we got involved in our first network marketing company in between so there was nothing in between so twenty seven years ago and eight years ago so twenty years of nothing.
00:39:47
Speaker
And at the time my son was ten years old i have a ten i had a ten year old at home and a fourteen year old at home and then my old my oldest son out of the house and i remember kind of just jumping into that exact same thing that i was familiar with it was.
00:40:02
Speaker
Go do those home meetings go do those home meetings get an opportunity whether it's at a library weather is it somebody's home weather was it a real estate office wherever i will show up and six years into building my business and i did. Did grow quick quickly and i did hit a six figure income.
00:40:20
Speaker
in 18 months, it was not without a price. And when my 16 year old, I went into his room one night and we were talking and he was crying. He was having a really tough night. He then just said these words and it forever changed me. But he said, one day I had a mom and the next day you were gone. Wow.
00:40:44
Speaker
And that was when I said, there is no way I can sell this to anyone. This is not a dream. This is a nightmare. And I had made the decision to be a stay at home mom and to work from home. And for the most part, that's what I did. I was a designer and a professional organizer, but when network marketing came in, I just jumped right into the same
00:41:09
Speaker
Call it the same saddle the same seat that I was familiar with but that was something I could not sell again There I could not look another woman another mother in the face and say you should do this with me No, it was never gonna happen and I went to figuring out social media I said there has to be a better way, you know, we say there's a better way network marketing is a better way Well, I knew there had to be a better way. Yeah, and it was it was learning and and rediscovering so
00:41:39
Speaker
Old dogs can learn new tricks for sure. So I think that the industry right now is perfectly prime. And one of our other guests that we'll be having on this podcast is someone who many years ago started building her network marketing business from her home long before the social media world. But yeah, because she couldn't leave. She wasn't able to
00:42:03
Speaker
So I'm really looking forward to people hearing that story as well because it's not that you have to go do those home parties anymore. And I think that that's, I wouldn't want anybody to, I wouldn't want people to feel the need that you had to uproot your life and your schedule just to make that all work. Not that we can't work hard and not that our children can't learn to adjust, but working as hard as we were working and giving up as much as we were giving up was too much of a price and you cannot get that back.
00:42:32
Speaker
Absolutely. Absolutely. I agree. Yay to social media. Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. And, and there is the right way and the wrong way. And maybe if you want to just touch on some of that a little bit for people to understand like how they can actually use social media, what is the right way and what is the wrong way to use it? Yeah. So I would love to actually, cause I see this a lot and it really, really like, I
00:42:58
Speaker
When I see it, I'm like, oh gosh, this poor person doesn't know better. But I say that and I think that because that's what we used to be taught to do. And I think back then when network marketers first started using social media as a platform to promote opportunities and products and things like that, it was just kind of spamming people and posting your events all over your wall and kind of being that infomercial of buy my product and join my business. And I still see that today, but I think
00:43:26
Speaker
The shift comes from really, one, adding value to people. People connect and people come to social media for entertainment to learn something or to be inspired, I think, in my personal opinion. That's why I'm on there. And then just to be nosy and see what everybody else is up to. Give an example of what adding value would mean.
Social Media Strategies and Authenticity
00:43:50
Speaker
Give them an example of what that looks like.
00:43:52
Speaker
I'm always constantly thinking, how can I inspire someone today? How can I be of value to this person today? When I say to someone or the person, I'm thinking about the person that comes to my page or that's scrolling through their newsfeed and
00:44:08
Speaker
stumble upon my post or they see my post, what can I add to their life? So for example, I shared a few months ago and I share this because it's just the first thing that comes to mind is while I was in Vegas, I shared my testimony of coming out of drug addiction and internet marketing. And a lot of people that follow me now, they don't see me, they don't know me as
00:44:36
Speaker
who I was before. They just met me in the past five or six years. So they know me as Tihani, this Christian business owner, network marketer. So when they hear my story or when they see what I've been through, it's like, wow, that's really inspiring to me.
00:44:51
Speaker
I can really connect with that. Wow, this inspires me to go out there and be better and do better. So things like that, you know, things that will, something that will inspire people, something that will teach them something. I did like, for example, just something super easy. I did an instant, I got an instant pot. My mother bought me an instant pot and I was so excited for it.
00:45:12
Speaker
And it was my first time cooking in it. It sat in my kitchen for like two weeks because I was so nervous to unwrap the box. And if you have an Instant Pot out there, any of the listeners, you'll probably know what I mean because I've read about it. People just let their Instant Pot sit because it's kind of intimidating. It's kind of intimidating. So anyways, I did my first recipe on Facebook Live.
00:45:33
Speaker
And people loved it. They were commenting and asking for the recipes and inboxing me. And so even it doesn't have to be anything super profound. It can be something as simple as come and cook with me in my kitchen and watch my Facebook live and let's interact and have a conversation and share food recipes and things like that. So
00:45:52
Speaker
I was laughing because I was going to say, I do not own one of these mysterious Instapots. Although I think I'm a part of an Instapot Facebook group. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:07
Speaker
So for all of you Instapot users, I'm a part of your group, but I do not own one of these. I think I got invited. I don't know by who, but maybe it's somebody, maybe I have one on the way. I don't know. I will have to, I'll have to pay attention a little bit more and see what's going on in that community.
00:46:24
Speaker
So go ahead and go ahead and go a little bit more into like how to use this whole Facebook and other social platforms if you use them and curious to know what social platforms other than Facebook to use if you do. Yeah, so Facebook is kind of my main priority. I do enjoy Instagram a little bit more because it's a little bit more real time, a little more interactive.
00:46:45
Speaker
There's Instagram stories now where people can kind of get a behind the scenes look of what your life is like. And what your real personality is like. I share, I mean, you only get snippets of someone's life on a Facebook live and even in Instagram stories or on a post. So people are always taken aback by my
00:47:12
Speaker
I have this kind of goofy personality once in a while that comes out. And so I do show that a little more on my Instagram story. So I've been having a lot of fun with that and just kind of figuring out what that platform is like. Because I think the different platforms are, you know, have different ways that we can use them. And if you're using that platform, it's almost kind of like a different language. Like Instagram is very much a visual platform. I used to post like any and everything that I thought was interesting to me, like my
00:47:42
Speaker
shake or my coffee or a mountain or whatever it was and not the best quality photos. So instead I've kind of shifted if you go to my Instagram at Tihane Dini for instagram.com forward slash at Tihane Dini. There are two ways I've learned that people see your profile. It's when they click on your actual profile and end up on your homepage, your Instagram feed.
00:48:08
Speaker
or it's they see your feed through their newsfeed as they're scrolling up and down. And so thinking about that and learning about that, it's what story do I want to tell when people see my posts and when they come to my profile? So if you look at my profile, it's a lot of faith-based, of course, it's a lot of
00:48:28
Speaker
I do share a lot about my story of being torn between Christianity and business, my faith and my business and things like that. But I do share a lot of the joy that comes with being in this space.
00:48:43
Speaker
So you'll see a lot of smiling pictures. You'll see my husband a lot. You'll see that I love coffee and I am pro filter. I am pro editing. I don't mind that at all. When I see somebody taking time to really make sure that their feed looks a certain way, there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's
00:48:59
Speaker
I love you. I think it's being intentional with what you want to put out and how you want people, what story you're trying to share with people. So I think that's super important on Instagram and I'm just kind of getting my bearings in that. So.
00:49:14
Speaker
Yeah. Your Instagram feed is beautiful. And I too, I am, when you talk about just getting your bearings, you do have a couple thousand followers, which is great. I'm just getting started in my journey, both for our Brilliantista community, as well as my own personal. I think the funny thing is, is I'm always torn. Cause like you said, you know, oh, everybody's telling you raw, you know, no filter, no filter. I'm like, I'm sorry.
00:49:43
Speaker
I'm a creative. I love filters. Filters are cool. It's the platform. It wouldn't be there otherwise. Those filters and things like that wouldn't be there if it wasn't a part of what the platform is trying to do. So I always say it's okay to filter your pictures and things like that and edit them, but never ever, ever filter your story. That's my personal opinion and that's kind of what I
00:50:08
Speaker
what I've kind of built around my platforms. I'm just mostly active on Facebook and Instagram.
00:50:17
Speaker
I love that. Never filter your story. Yes. Yes. Yes. Can we quote that? Absolutely. That will definitely be a quote in this post. That is for sure. So I want to wrap up with, I don't want to say it's not a back to the future. I guess it's kind of a back to the future. Fast forward in your life, five years from now, that five year wiser
00:50:44
Speaker
Tahani who is getting ready to tell the story of who she was 25 years ago. So the today, she's going to tell the story of Tahani today and who Tahani is and what she's doing to impact other people's lives. What is she going to say?
00:51:05
Speaker
I want to be telling the story of I'm just someone that's trying to figure this out. And you and I were talking earlier about being in this uncomfortable place, building a business and this unfamiliar territory. And I'm learning that.
00:51:21
Speaker
even in the times where I want to revert to, uh, maybe I just won't do that today. And there are a lot of days where I'm just like, I completely fail. So I think the biggest thing is it's something that I look for every day. What did I fail at today so that I can learn to be better tomorrow?
00:51:39
Speaker
know when I look back five years from now and I'm looking back at the person that I that I am today it's you know I'm somewhat a woman that is really working through the ugly and working through the mess I'm being totally okay with it totally okay with it and I think just being able to give myself grace to grow and giving other people grace to grow I think if
00:52:04
Speaker
Five years from now I can look back and see that that's what I'm doing, then I will be totally content with the woman. And that's really what I'm doing now anyway. So I'll be totally content with the woman that I'm becoming and the woman that I am and the woman that I was. First off, talk about an easy interview. I love it when people just know themselves and you definitely know yourself.
00:52:33
Speaker
And I love the fact that, as you said, you're not filtering your words. If any woman who is listening to this podcast right now, who can confidently say, I've got this and I'm doing it, I know what I'm doing every step of the way, and I feel 100% confident,
00:52:52
Speaker
Well, I am just going to say congratulations. Myself, I'm rooting for that day, but I don't know. I don't know if I necessarily want to be at that point, because like you said, Tahani, we're figuring it out. And what did we mess up today that we can learn from and make better tomorrow? And even if we don't make it better tomorrow, right? We're still learning. Absolutely. Absolutely. Like I said, it's giving yourself that grace to be where you are.
00:53:18
Speaker
I'm being okay with it or being not okay with it. And just being in that moment, I think is so important. Yeah. Well, you are definitely somebody I'm going to follow. So I'm going to actually spell Tahani's Instagram as well as her name out. So it's Tahani. It's T-I-H-A-N-E.
00:53:43
Speaker
It's to Hani and her last name is D-E-K-N-E-E-F and you can follow her on Instagram and on Facebook and just let her pour out all the love that she has because that's that's all her feet is. I mean it's beautiful and it's beautifully written and definitely love your filters.
00:54:10
Speaker
Talk about you making it easy and asking good questions and being able to really bring that out in people. I think you really have a gift for that. Thank you.
00:54:19
Speaker
Well, I just want anyone who is brave enough to join us as we get started on this Brilliantista podcast and this Brilliantista journey, just thanking you guys so much. And of course we would love for you to subscribe to our channel and we'll get into that a little bit more and I'll give you some of those details. But I want to thank our guest over and over and over again for taking out her time today and hopefully inspiring you
00:54:45
Speaker
to, to not filter your words and to love yourself and, and to ask for guidance. And to, honey, I'm with you. To do something alone is no fun, but to know that you always have somebody there and whoever that somebody is, whoever you raise your hands to,
00:55:05
Speaker
Just know you're not alone. You are never, ever, ever alone. And we're here for you if no one else. So thank you so much for joining me. And any last words that you want to share with our audience?
00:55:18
Speaker
You know what, I just want to thank you all for listening. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you. And like Sherry said, if anything, I had someone that saw what I couldn't see in myself. And if you ever need that, reach out to me, reach out to Sherry. We would love to partner with you and just to really walk with you in your journey, whether we're just friends or chatting on Facebook, Instagram, whatever it is.
00:55:44
Speaker
You do have a tribe and you do have a community of women that just want the best for you. So thank you Sherry for having me. Oh, Tani, I love you. I love you too. Well, we're going to buy for now on this podcast and we'll see you all soon.
00:56:04
Speaker
Thanks for listening to the Brilliantista podcast. If you love the show and have a moment, please let us know by leaving a review or subscribe to the podcast. Truly, this would mean the world to me and my team. And remember, ladies, share this with your friends because that's what friends do. If you want to stay connected, go to brilliantista.com and join our Facebook group.
00:56:25
Speaker
You can also find me on social media at Sherri Custer or Brilliantista on all platforms. Most importantly, I hope you heard something today that inspires you to elevate your brilliance. Bye for now Brilliantista, we'll be back next week.