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Toby Freeman: The Big Ballsy Challenge – Running Through Grief, Stigma, and Hope
114 Plays1 day ago
A quick note that this episode includes open discussion of cancer, grief, and loss. Please take care while listening, and skip sections if you need to.
In this episode, UKRunChat host Michelle talks to Toby Freeman, founder of The Robin Cancer Trust and creator of the Big Ballsy Challenge, a 500km running campaign raising awareness of testicular cancer.
After losing his brother Robin to a late-stage diagnosis, Toby channelled his grief into purpose, building one of the UK’s leading young adult cancer charities and using running to start life-saving conversations.
Toby shares his experiences of turning pain into action, what running means to him, his upcoming world record attempt at the London Marathon, and how humour can break down stigma around men’s health.
Topics covered:
- How The Robin Cancer Trust began
- The Big Ballsy Challenge and reactions on the road
- Using humour to tackle taboo topics
- Running as therapy and motivation
- The power of community and conversation
- Toby’s Thrive Against Cancer podcast
Links:
- The Big Ballsy Challenge: https://www.therobincancertrust.org/bigballsychallenge
- The Robin Cancer Trust: therobincancertrust.org
- Toby’s TEDx Talk: Three Steps to Surviving Grief
- Thrive Against Cancer Podcast: thriveagainstcancer.co.uk
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Toby Freeman and Robin Cancer Trust
00:00:00
UKRunChat
Hello, welcome to the UK Rune Chat podcast. I'm Michelle and my guest today is Toby Freeman. He's founder of the Robin Cancer Trust, which he set up after losing his brother Robin to a rare cancer.
00:00:12
UKRunChat
Now, Toby's mission ever since has been to save lives through awareness, education and conversation. And that's what we're doing today.
The Big Ballsy Challenge: Humor and Awareness in Cancer
00:00:19
UKRunChat
and He's taken that mission to the road recently as well, quite literally.
00:00:23
UKRunChat
um in a giant pair of testicles, which we' be we'll be talking about through his big ballsy challenge, which is a 500 kilometer running campaign to get people talking about testicular cancer.
00:00:35
UKRunChat
Welcome, Toby. Thank you so much for coming on. and Great to have you on
00:00:39
Toby Freeman
Thank you so much for being here. um I'm a big fan. So I feel like I'm in, I'm in, yeah, I'm really excited. It's just yeah one of those podcasts I love listening to. So I'm very excited to be here joining you and hopefully won't have to listen to my own voice.
Robin's Story and the Birth of the Trust
00:00:55
UKRunChat
Well, before we kind of get into the challenge and everything, can you kind of give us a ah rundown of what the Robin Cancer Trust is and tell us a little bit about Robin.
00:01:05
Toby Freeman
Of course, yeah. so going back many moons now to sort of 2010, Rob, I'm the youngest of three. So Rob's my eldest brother ah elder brother. Two years between us. We're very, very close.
00:01:17
Toby Freeman
And actually, he was really fit, really healthy, really health conscious. And I would say i perhaps was not at that time of my life. I was leading a unhealthy lifestyle. I worked in a bar.
00:01:31
Toby Freeman
ah too much drinking and not enough moving around, perhaps. And actually, Rob was just in his prime of life. He was career driven. He'd moved out.
00:01:42
Toby Freeman
a yeah He was all about his fitness goals. I remember him working hard to get abs for the summer for some reason, and as you do. and He started having these signs and symptoms. And one of the the things I remember going all those years back was him complaining he couldn't run more than two miles in the morning. He used run every morning. And but ah back then, when you're not running, you think, oh, that's absolutely mad. I couldn't get up and run 200 meters.
00:02:06
Toby Freeman
But he was complaining because that was where he was at with his fitness. And unfortunately being a young guy not having been told signs and symptoms, my brother had a ah rare form of testicular cancer and he missed these signs and symptoms.
Engagement Tactics: Humor in Cancer Awareness
00:02:19
Toby Freeman
So he had fatigue, he had night sweats, he had a cough, he had a sudden change in bowel habits.
00:02:26
Toby Freeman
All of these things were taken and sort of dealt with, but not collectively looked at and thought there might be something serious going on here. So my brother was diagnosed with this rare form testicular cancer. It was actually in his chest, which is why he had a cough.
00:02:40
Toby Freeman
that was affecting his ability to run, to move, move about and do what he wanted to do. So a very long story short, over a 10 month period of grueling chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, ah secondary cancer diagnosis. It was a really arduous and challenging year for for everyone. But I watched my brother go from prime of his life to literally 10 months later, holding his hand on his deathbed.
00:03:10
Toby Freeman
And having gone through that tragedy, having seen my brother who was really healthy, didn't smoke, didn't drink, um and was really, really active at the gym and playing football and running.
00:03:23
Toby Freeman
I watched him go to, you know, what happened to him. And I thought, well, something good has to come from this. If Rob can miss the signs and symptoms, if Rob doesn't know what to look out for, then this could happen to anyone. That was the conversation we had as a family.
00:03:38
Toby Freeman
And from that, the Robin Cancer Trust was born. So we decided to raise awareness in young people. And we took that wicked sense of humor that my brother always had right to the end. And we thought we can use that to engage young people.
00:03:53
Toby Freeman
So in 2012, we started the Robin Cancer Trust and we were like, we'll do testicular and ovarian cancer because we specialize in germ cell cancers. And these are the cells that make up the reproductive organs.
00:04:05
Toby Freeman
So the the testicles and the ovaries, so it can affect both young men and both women. so it was just about awareness education and over the years we've listened to our community and we've moved into support so we do schools talks colleges universities businesses lunch and learns we'll go into a place and talk to people about signs and symptoms risk factors how to check yourself what to look out for and how to be empowered with your health and then we'll be out in the community. We have these giant testicles and ovaries that we wear over our head, stickers, temporary tattoos to engage people, lots of social media campaigns, working with partners um to to reach new audiences all over the UK and then supporting through our partner hospitals and building out support services for people affected anywhere in the UK. So we want to make sure...
Guide to Self-Checking for Testicular Cancer
00:04:55
Toby Freeman
wherever you are you get the same experience the same help the same support if you've been affected and part of my role as ceo and as founder as my team do amazing work is where do i have my impact and i think that was the idea of right well i need to leave this community i need to break down as many barriers i you know i need to lead by example and how can i do that let's get myself a giant testicle suit as you do that's the natural thought is um and the trustees go okay toby that's fine we'll sign off on that and my team roll their eyes and go okay yep okay we'll do that and i got sign off from my wife as well bless her because um you know running does have
00:05:40
Toby Freeman
Need a lot of support.
00:05:41
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:05:43
Toby Freeman
So I said, yeah, I'm going to take on this massive challenge because I want to do something that would be seen as really embarrassing. you know my I talk about Stig, I talk about breaking down embarrassment, I talk about this is normal. Well, let's do something that most people would find absolutely ridiculous and run around like a giant ball bag.
00:06:01
Toby Freeman
And it's been absolutely amazing.
00:06:03
UKRunChat
Wow. So tell us a little bit about the challenge that you set yourself then, because it's a, it's, there's a lot to it, isn't there?
00:06:06
Toby Freeman
Yeah.
00:06:09
UKRunChat
You set yourself a huge fundraising target.
00:06:12
Toby Freeman
I have. So 2,400 guys are affected every year in the UK and testicular cancer is 95% curable. So the aim of the game for us is to make everyone aware, get everyone checking themselves and making sure if anything's wrong, going straight to the doctors.
00:06:31
Toby Freeman
And as a quick aside, I'll just tell everyone how to check themselves.
00:06:34
UKRunChat
Yes. Yeah. yeah
00:06:34
Toby Freeman
um After you've gone for a run, because I'll make this running, ah you know, everything can, be a bit ah tight and high
Fundraising Goals and Support Initiatives
00:06:43
Toby Freeman
and everything in there. So we want to have a nice warm bath and shower, clean off, decompress after a run.
00:06:49
Toby Freeman
Our balls are like a temperature gauge. So everything then hangs nice and loosey goosey, easy to check. So hot bath or shower, best time to do it. 30 seconds to a minute on each testicle. You're just checking for any irregularities or anything that's not normal for you.
00:07:02
Toby Freeman
Anything that's in one that isn't in the other, needs to go and get checked out. And anything that wasn't there the last time you checked needs to go and get checked by a medical professional. So we are looking for lumps.
00:07:13
Toby Freeman
We are looking for swelling. One is normally a bit bigger than the other, but we're talking about abnormal swelling, you know, size of a satsuma, size of a orange. um We are looking for heaviness, a dragging sensation that you're feeling all the time. Obviously, any pain and pain that spreads up to the lower back. Obviously, any pain in your testicle needs to get checked out as well. And then a hardness.
00:07:34
Toby Freeman
So you don't want to be squeezing them. We all know that's going to hurt, but they shouldn't be rock hard like a pebble as well. So we're looking out for these things. If it's in one, not the other. If it's abnormal for you, straight to your doctors.
00:07:47
Toby Freeman
And yeah, so we've got these 2,400 guys that we're trying to reach. And and set myself a target of £240,000 so that we can support with a free cancer support pack and support from one-to-one from our CNS for every single person diagnosed in the UK.
00:08:04
Toby Freeman
Sounds like a massive target, but it's only £100 person. hundred pounds per pur and So that's the aim of the game. um And I set myself a 500 kilometre challenge to take on this year.
00:08:15
Toby Freeman
I'm nearly there. i had a couple of setbacks as we do as runners, a couple of chest infections that threw me off.
00:08:19
UKRunChat
Oh, yeah.
00:08:21
Toby Freeman
But we're we're takingck ticking through nicely. So think I've just hit over the 400,000 kilometres run as a giant so far.
00:08:30
UKRunChat
So are you are you doing all this distance as at races or is some of it around your own town?
00:08:35
Toby Freeman
Yeah, no, to be honest, I, because they're so big, they're sitting behind me, but they're so big, i don't tend to have them in the house.
00:08:38
UKRunChat
but
00:08:41
Toby Freeman
So these have been races, or there's been a couple of marathons I've done with other people taking on charity challenges um with a partner. we launched an event, lots of partnership this month, the Men's Health Awareness Month.
00:08:55
Toby Freeman
And we did a half marathon in the shape of a testicle pair balls around London. So there's been a couple of ad hoc, but most of it has been at races. And I should have ticked over the 500 by now because I had 100 kilometers in September, but I had a chest infection I had to pull out.
00:09:12
UKRunChat
Oh, that's a shame. are you planning another long one or what what have you still got?
00:09:16
Toby Freeman
Well, it's been deferred.
00:09:17
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:09:17
Toby Freeman
already paid for it, so I deferred it to next year, so it will be happening.
00:09:19
UKRunChat
Oh.
00:09:21
Toby Freeman
I just need to make sure I am training for a world record at London, which will be the fastest male dressed as a body car, which currently sits at 3 hours 32, which is very fast.
00:09:21
UKRunChat
yeah
00:09:33
UKRunChat
oh
00:09:35
Toby Freeman
And my average pace for a marathon in the balls is something like 5.20. Yeah.
Training and Achievements in Running Challenges
00:09:41
Toby Freeman
ah so ah It's going to be a lot of training over the dark months leading up to April next year at London.
00:09:51
Toby Freeman
So I'm doing all my speed training now, and then I need to get back into ultramarathon road ah mode, which I much prefer because it's so easy you know not easy, but I'm okay with time on my feet.
00:10:01
Toby Freeman
And yeah.
00:10:02
UKRunChat
Yeah, you can take your time a little bit, can't you, over the longer distance. But that marathon challenge sounds like a sounds like a tough one.
00:10:05
Toby Freeman
ah
00:10:09
UKRunChat
So what what does your training comprise? How much of it will you have to do in the suit?
00:10:14
Toby Freeman
So the suit is difficult just logistically having it around all the time. It's going to be weighted vest. So the suit weighs about seven kilograms, although it's really dispersed well.
00:10:22
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:10:23
Toby Freeman
It was built for running with running in mind. So a seven kilogram weighted suit when needed, but I don't want to wear my knees out. ah But I'm umm going to be using, I've got a great training plan through, And I'm hoping that that can help me achieve my goals. a lot I've got a train at the moment, I'm training for 40,
00:10:41
Toby Freeman
sub forty ten k
00:10:43
UKRunChat
Right.
00:10:43
Toby Freeman
just to get the running, the speed work in, get used to that sort of speed at running because my average kilometer pace, I think, is 6.30. six thirty I need to get it down to 4.10, 4.15.
00:10:57
Toby Freeman
It's quite a shift for me, not something I've done in many years.
00:11:01
UKRunChat
Yeah. is Is that coming easily to you or is it you enjoying the speed work?
00:11:06
Toby Freeman
do you know what? I'm really enjoying the speed work until the day after. What I've realized is the recovery. It's a full-time job, isn't it Marathon training sometimes.
00:11:15
UKRunChat
yes
00:11:15
Toby Freeman
It's, I forget about the, the the recovery. and The last time I did any speed work, I think I was quite a lot younger and I don't think I had as many children.
00:11:22
UKRunChat
yeah
00:11:25
Toby Freeman
So ah was probably sleeping a bit better. And yeah, um I'm bad at just like, going to sit down on the sofa this evening where I should be stretching. I should be rolling my legs out.
00:11:35
Toby Freeman
I should be getting the gun thing. I don't know what they're called. I should be doing all of that to make myself feel a bit better. So everyone keeps saying I'm at the, you need to be doing yoga and Pilates age. I think
00:11:47
UKRunChat
Yes, i I'd agree. Yeah, the Pilates brilliant for stretching in and yoga is great for kind of stretching you all out, isn't it?
00:11:51
Toby Freeman
Yeah.
00:11:54
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:11:55
Toby Freeman
Yeah. my wife My wife is very flexible. She's really into a Pilates. So she's always, whilst I'm lounging, being terrible, she's doing things. I'm like, how are you bending like that?
00:12:05
Toby Freeman
like my body's okay with this you know that you think you're quite fit but running's all sort of static isn't it this same muscle groups um so yeah i think i've got quite a lot of quite a lot of work to do think this is by far the the world record attempt is by far the biggest mental and physical challenge because
00:12:09
UKRunChat
yeah
00:12:26
Toby Freeman
the suit is not aerodynamic at all you know seven adding seven kilograms i mean i weigh about 74 so adding seven kilograms is quite significant anyway um and therein comes strength training that we always want to avoid as well uh so everyone keeps saying it's pilates yoga and uh strength training well i don't do any of those at the moment that's terrible i just
00:12:27
UKRunChat
No.
00:12:33
UKRunChat
yeah
00:12:37
UKRunChat
yeah
00:12:47
Toby Freeman
get up and run. So it's, yeah, it's just a different beast. And I really need to lock in over these next few weeks to get into that. But I am enjoying the training. I'm enjoying the speed work. It breaks it up. I've got very much into the ultra marathons my ultra marathon style was just time on feet running at a singular pace and my body thankfully had got quite used to that it would just go and go and go and go and go and i've been building up that aerobic base for a couple of years so i took on like that the hadrian's wall challenge which was not easy by any means but we were doing near like 11 hour days
00:13:15
UKRunChat
yeah
00:13:24
Toby Freeman
know doing the the crags of um the pennines where the sycamore gap is and everything it was yeah about 11 11 and a half hours we were time on feet moving through that but my body seemed to cope with that a lot better than it does just uh you know um interval splits you do that once and i'm i'm in absolute bits yeah
00:13:30
UKRunChat
yeah
00:13:44
UKRunChat
It's just a different kind of running though, isn't it? a think, I mean, some people really enjoy that, like the speed side of running and, but you'd ask them to run an ultramarathon and they'd struggle. And I think it's just, it's different disciplines, isn't it really?
00:13:55
UKRunChat
So I'm sure you'll get there.
00:13:55
Toby Freeman
Yeah.
00:13:57
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:13:57
Toby Freeman
Yeah. It's just different. it's It's definitely for me, it's a different mindset. And I think I just need to really having that end good goal in mind is really helpful.
00:14:00
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:14:06
Toby Freeman
i'll be doing it with some, runners for the charity, we were very lucky. We've got 12 runners running alongside. So seeing their training happening, seeing them trying to reach their goals, we've got little WhatsApp group.
00:14:17
Toby Freeman
That's really G's you up. but um you know I think with all things with running, having a community around you, being inspired by people that you follow and people that are going for their own goals is, yeah, always really inspirational. And when on a horrible, wet 6 a.m. m
Breaking Barriers in Health Conversations
00:14:35
Toby Freeman
start in, you know, November, December, January, February, when it's cold, I think those are the sort of things you need to wake up to and just, yeah, right, we can do this because other people are doing it.
00:14:46
UKRunChat
Yeah, absolutely. That's so important, isn't it? what's What's the reaction from the public when you're out at races running in the suit?
00:14:55
Toby Freeman
They love it. um i had I was very lucky. My marketing manager, our marketing manager at the Robin Cancer Trust is is a fantastic runner. We've got a fair few really good runners in the team, but she ran the Royal Parks half marathon with me to capture content and sort of just see if we could put a bit of speed to it.
00:15:14
Toby Freeman
We ended up running like a 152 half marathon, which felt nice. That was fastest I've done by the country mile in the suit. And she just couldn't believe it. People go absolutely wild for it. She's like, I don't know how you're ever going to go back to normal running. was I don't know.
00:15:28
Toby Freeman
i couldn't just be a normal person in ah in a race anymore. I'd be like, why isn't everyone screaming my name? Because I just feel so lucky. people I think people at the races expect something silly. They expect to see people in costumes and they love it. Anyway, so there so people are prepared to see that and they go a bit wild for it.
00:15:48
Toby Freeman
But people aren't used to seeing something this big and this silly. And i I always forget how big they are as well. Like they almost triple my size in width.
00:15:57
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:15:58
Toby Freeman
ah And they take, you know, they go up to about near seven foot above me. i'm nearly six foot so like with the size of it it's like nearly seven foot so they're just really imposing and people see them coming down the street and they're what is that is that a heart is it a bit of it's like the superman thing is it hard is it a bit of toast oh no it's a giant pair of bollocks okay right and people are just so so kind i've not heard anything negative which i was expecting at least something you know roll of the eyes a tut oh that's that's not okay but
00:16:14
UKRunChat
yeah
00:16:29
Toby Freeman
young ah Young people, old people, people with young kids, there's been some very funny, what's that nose? What's that? you know and What's that bum, ah that hairy bum?
00:16:40
Toby Freeman
My kids thought it was a hairy bum for ages. ah And it's been really nice because you see the the instant, the the acknowledgement that you're doing something tough because it is tough. And then, oh, there's a serious cause behind it because you know it has Robin Cancer Trust on it. It says the hashtag on the back.
00:16:58
Toby Freeman
So I think even people, the shock factor, which is what it's there for, immediately understand the reasons why they go, oh, it's testicular cancer. And I just love it when people in races are just generally lovely, aren't they?
00:17:10
Toby Freeman
They'll share sweet.
00:17:10
UKRunChat
yeah
00:17:12
Toby Freeman
They'll share an and encouraging word. They'll share a gel if you're struggling, give you some water. But when you're in the suit, um you know I can't speak for other people. There's people run like rhinos that weigh way more.
00:17:24
Toby Freeman
And there's people that run in those... pudsy suits that are just all fur, and I think, how do you do that? At least this has some sort of aeration to it. But everyone's so nice. they Runners respect it, I think. Everyone knows how hard running is.
00:17:37
Toby Freeman
So when you're running, people people give loads of props, and that helps you.
00:17:37
UKRunChat
yeah
00:17:42
Toby Freeman
And the crowd interaction lovely. like It is part of what the races bring to you as a runner.
00:17:45
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:17:47
Toby Freeman
you know We pay quite a lot of money to go run an organized race to get a little bit of metal at the end of it. Actually, it's the experience, it's the joy, it's the community. it's um This is a really amplified version of that.
00:17:58
Toby Freeman
So i do feel very, very lucky. ah ah When I've been running really slowly through... the marathons like Brighton and London, people just come up and tell me their stories, which I love. You just get, you get this really cool two mile, three mile connection with someone who's like, Oh, my wife works at this hospital on a cancer ward, or, you know, my brother was affected, or I'd had that, or I've had this and just people feeling like in the middle of a race that they can just open up and have a chat with you is such a privilege as well. That's,
00:18:30
Toby Freeman
part of what we're doing. It's all about starting conversations and just normalizing all of this. And I think that's what I realized with this. it's It's about giving people the opportunity to be vulnerable with you because it's so silly.
00:18:43
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:18:44
Toby Freeman
like it's you know It is a giant pullback. There's no two ways around it. It's the extreme scale of no one else really wants to be doing this. But by doing it, I think it gives people permission to open up about things that they might not talked about previously.
00:18:58
UKRunChat
Yeah. and Does that happen a lot at races? Like, does it spark a lot of conversations like that? Or is that does that come afterwards?
00:19:05
Toby Freeman
No, it does. ah in you know on in When I'm walking around pre-race, I get a lot of people wanting to take pictures, talk to me about it, and just open up about their stories. But literally during the races as well, which I love, you know someone would just literally run up to you, give you a fist bump be like, oh, here's five minutes conversation, or here's two miles of conversation where I'm just talking to people.
00:19:26
Toby Freeman
And especially afterwards, I've had lots of DMs on Instagram, mainly of people saying, I found a lump or I was concerned and I went to the doctor or partners reaching out and being like, I saw you do this race. I prompted my partner to check himself or prompted my partner who was worried to go to the doctors, which has been, again, that's just a beautiful byproduct of of all this that people feel that it's sparking those conversations.
00:19:53
Toby Freeman
That's what it's there for, but also feel that they can reach out and and to have that conversation with me, which I'm just, yeah, incredibly grateful because you never know. You you bought you you create and buy a giant ball bag costume and you don't know what's going to happen.
00:20:07
Toby Freeman
you know You hope these things happen, but otherwise you're just sitting there going, oh, own this really weird costume don't what to do with it. So,
00:20:13
UKRunChat
Yeah,
Unique Challenges of Running in a Costume
00:20:14
UKRunChat
well, I'm glad it's going well and having the impact that you're hoping. i mean, do you find people are are a bit less embarrassed talking about this nowadays?
00:20:14
Toby Freeman
yeah.
00:20:17
Toby Freeman
Thank you.
00:20:22
UKRunChat
I feel like there is there are more open conversations happening around it.
00:20:27
Toby Freeman
I think we sit at probably, we talk about this quite a lot in the charity. We sit at the extreme end of stigma.
00:20:32
UKRunChat
yeah
00:20:33
Toby Freeman
You know, you talk this probably, i would say prostate cancer for the way people check and us is very similar in that way. um it's it's the extreme end. So we work really hard to break that stigma down. That's why we do the big bold campaigns. That's why we use the humor.
00:20:49
Toby Freeman
But again, when you talk about permission, when we make ourselves the joke or we give other people the permission to be vulnerable, it's so extreme. It has that bleed on effect of other things. So people talk about their mental health. They talk about other cancers. They talk about physical problems that might be going on.
00:21:05
Toby Freeman
And I think that's really important. I think we sit in ah in a place of... ah responsibility with that we have to work really hard because if we can break that stigma then all the other stuff you know if you've got a niggle with your knee or you've got um a mole that might be bleeding or you've got something on your skin that's scratchy or a pain in your ear that won't go away like that's not as stigmatized because you've been talking to a giant ball bag or you've been talking to people with giant testicles around their neck at a festival or something so i think There's a want for the conversation.
00:21:36
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:21:36
Toby Freeman
There's certainly, I think, the talk about mental health. I think the talk about men being more vulnerable, you know better role models, because there are good role models for guys out there now. I think it's it is getting better.
00:21:48
Toby Freeman
um But yeah, we just need to keep chipping away at it because we don't want to stop at, you know, certain ailments, we want to go all the way through to the really stigmatized ones where we sit, need to carry on those conversations because yeah, you crack the hardest nut, that's a terrible pun, crack the hardest nut and all the rest ah fall into place, I think it makes all of those conversations easier.
00:22:13
UKRunChat
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. and I mean, and it can't be easy running in that seat. mean, ah is it is it hot inside? Is it?
00:22:20
Toby Freeman
It's reasonable, I would say, with stats as I've run it so much I do get us. I think there's like 20% airflow. That's so it's it's it's hard foam.
00:22:31
Toby Freeman
So it doesn't hold any like water weight or anything.
00:22:33
UKRunChat
yeah
00:22:33
Toby Freeman
It does, but it's got a cover on it, but it's also got like a bit padding in it. So that does stop a lot of the airflow. It's got lots of holes cut into it to make it really as lightweight as possible and to allow a bit of air.
00:22:44
Toby Freeman
But yeah, the heat is tough. Like London this year was so hot.
00:22:50
UKRunChat
It was warm, wasn't it?
00:22:51
Toby Freeman
And I'd run Brighton three weeks before where it was hot and windy.
00:22:51
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:22:55
Toby Freeman
And the wind's actually the hardest thing in that because it's like a sail. It's just so big.
00:22:58
UKRunChat
yeah
00:22:59
Toby Freeman
I remember running up, anyone's run Brighton, they will know the hill as you go out of the city. And it was just like a headwind on this hill and it almost stopped me in my tracks.
00:23:09
Toby Freeman
was... fighting to get up the hill it was quite nice on the way back ah the sea breeze behind me um but then london was just what 24 degrees or something and that was sweltering but london had done amazingly with the extra water with the fire hoses and everything but again i wasn't going for any pace so i could enjoy myself i could get myself soaked i could know pour water down my back and just carry on So it's it's weird because if it's if it's cold, it's quite nice because it keeps a bit of heat in.
00:23:38
Toby Freeman
So everyone else is a bit chilly and obviously rain's not too bad either.
00:23:39
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:23:42
Toby Freeman
ah We did this run in London with making the testicles recently and it was pouring down the whole time. But um again, my marketing manager was with me and she was exposed to the elements, whereas I was sort of, I can cocoon like a little turtle in the in the giant testicles and keep myself sheltered somewhat.
00:23:59
Toby Freeman
say has its pros and its cons. And you never know with April. That's the thing.
00:24:04
UKRunChat
yeah
00:24:04
Toby Freeman
I keep thinking about the world record attempt. I could do all of this training, but if there's heavy wins, unless they're behind me the whole time, I'm going to be in a bit of a pickle. But you can only control what you can control.
00:24:17
UKRunChat
Yeah, you can, exactly. and As long as you've done your training, that's all you can do, isn't it? And I guess you're relatively sheltered in London, aren't you? it's
00:24:25
Toby Freeman
Yes.
00:24:25
UKRunChat
It's not that open a course as Brighton is, is it?
00:24:28
Toby Freeman
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, there should be large swathes of it, even if there's a wind coming in from one direction. Generally, should be okay.
00:24:35
UKRunChat
Yeah. Had you done London Marathon before this year? No, so that was your first time.
00:24:39
Toby Freeman
No.
00:24:39
UKRunChat
That must have been an incredible experience for you especially the suit, because I know I've never run in fancy dress there, but it's amazing.
00:24:43
Toby Freeman
Yeah.
00:24:45
UKRunChat
It's so loud.
00:24:47
Toby Freeman
it's it was almost overwhelming at times in a really positive i should i certainly should not be complaining but it's i i remember running over london bridge and obviously everyone talks about um london bridge sorry tower is it tower bridge i'm terrible tower bridge tower bridge but nothing prepares you for the fact that there's so many people on it and as you just come off it they there seems to be even more people you know sort of stacked up on either side but
00:24:52
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:25:00
UKRunChat
Tower Bridge, yeah. Yeah.
00:25:12
Toby Freeman
Running across that with nearly everyone shouting your name was almost, i was like, I don't know what to do with this.
00:25:15
UKRunChat
wow
00:25:19
Toby Freeman
I just wanted to sort of turtle inside the shell, ah inside the costume. basket You could only sort of just thank everyone as much as you can. ah But it was, yeah, almost overwhelmingly amazing.
00:25:29
Toby Freeman
in In the best way, you're just not used to hundreds of people shouting your name because obviously Toby's written across those names. toby testicles go toby go miss the ball bag go giant you know scrotum you get everything and it's just like whoa okay um it's one of my biggest worries about next year is i will be running so fast i won't be able to interact with the crowd and part of the joy and part of what people want is interaction but ah promise you I can't run that fast and say thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you it's I don't have that in me so um I might have to get a sign saying I'm very grateful thank you so much but I'm too tired to wave or anything i don't know yeah they I think you do i think people are accustomed to that you have the world record attempt bit on um
00:26:10
UKRunChat
Yeah, have a big like going for a world record sign on you or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:18
Toby Freeman
Yeah, it was amazing experience. I've never said thank you so many times. It's just people cheering, shouting, and just trying to make eye contact and say thank you to everyone. it was yeah London is everything people make it out to be.
00:26:32
Toby Freeman
I actually, at the end, like a funny story i i completely missed that buckingham palace was there i was quite i was quite focused because you come around a corner and then you're on the mall aren't you and obviously buckingham palace is on that corner and um i'd missed it because i i had a picture of rob like i had a little flag made and i was really hyper focused on getting that out i was obviously quite tired it've been really hot and i was getting it out my backpack and it was behind me and i sort of got to the mall and then i got it out and i was like right fine
00:26:39
UKRunChat
Oh.
00:26:43
UKRunChat
Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:03
Toby Freeman
And then I was very, very luckily, um about five days later after London Marathon, was invited to a cancer reception at Buckingham Palace, which again, very privileged to be at.
00:27:14
Toby Freeman
And I was in the queue outside and I saw some people that I was catching up with. it And they were like, oh, you were here last year on Sunday. And i was like, was I? where was I? They were like, you literally ran there. was like, oh, I didn't even notice. Oh yeah, Buckingham Palace is right near the mouth. That makes sense now.
00:27:32
Toby Freeman
I just completely missed this giant landmark on London because I was so hyper-focused on what I was doing. But yeah, I'll be a bit more present next year, I think.
00:27:41
UKRunChat
Yeah, no, ah that's brilliant. yeah Yeah, you'll know the course as well, won't you, I guess, next year?
00:27:45
Toby Freeman
Yes.
00:27:46
UKRunChat
yeah yeah, you'll know exactly what's coming.
00:27:47
Toby Freeman
yeah
00:27:49
UKRunChat
and it's quite about It's quite a nice route there, London, isn't It's not too hilly. It's, yeah.
00:27:53
Toby Freeman
No, not at all. Amazing. I mean, from the get-go as well, um you're just writing people. you know you're You're quite far out the city when you start, aren't you? But it feels more like a village at that point, and then people are really cheering.
00:28:05
UKRunChat
yeah
00:28:07
Toby Freeman
this you know The only times that it's quiet is the underpasses, really, i know that I noticed. But even then, sometimes they just plant a DJ in there, and it's absolutely brilliant. So, yeah, just I've never done a major, so I can't compare it to...
00:28:22
Toby Freeman
you know the parry any of them the big city ones either um but i just thought it was everything i thought it was going to be and more just but even the billboards like i just love it you're running around long you're seeing like these really inspirational billboards up from all the running brands and everything and yeah the the pride section was amazing that was really good um but yeah just incredible support but everyone talks about the bridge because it's halfway isn't it and that is
00:28:25
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:28:50
UKRunChat
It is amazing, I think, because you run down that narrow street as well and it just kind of opens up, doesn't it, into the bridge and suddenly it's...
00:28:53
Toby Freeman
and Yes. And you can see it coming for quite a long way.
00:28:57
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:28:58
Toby Freeman
So it builds up beautifully. um The only thing was i kept getting I kept getting messages from friends and family being like, i swear i swear you're being dodged on TV.
00:29:09
Toby Freeman
they because they're tracking you, aren't they?
00:29:10
UKRunChat
Oh, they didn't want to broadcast you.
00:29:11
Toby Freeman
They didn't want to broadcast. There was like one singular frame where I'm in the background of someone and I got sent this screenshot about 20 times. people like you You made it, but it was like a nanosecond. Everyone's pausing their Sky TV being like, right, that's the frame.
00:29:26
Toby Freeman
So,
00:29:27
UKRunChat
Oh, that's a shame. We need to get the broadcasters on side, don't we, to help spread this message.
00:29:31
Toby Freeman
think, yeah, I think it's the word bollocks. I think that's what it is.
00:29:34
UKRunChat
Right.
00:29:35
Toby Freeman
Rather than what it is, I do, my my username is TobyTalksBollocks and then on the back it says TalkingBollocks.
00:29:37
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:29:39
UKRunChat
Okay.
00:29:41
Toby Freeman
So I don't begrudge them. um You know, they do have Ofcom to worry about. I'm probably not worth all the complaints.
00:29:46
UKRunChat
They could censor it a little bit, I'm sure, couldn't they?
00:29:50
Toby Freeman
Yeah, yeah.
00:29:51
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:29:52
Toby Freeman
We'll see. We'll see you for next year.
Future Plans and Community Engagement
00:29:54
UKRunChat
So what what races have you got coming up? Is there anywhere where people can see you in your suit and interact between now and London?
00:30:01
Toby Freeman
do you know what i don't i i think i'm doing a santa 5k in south end like a ah dress up um but i'm not actually built i've not got much in the in the diary just because the time of year and the training i'm building all the way through to to london i'll be at the colchester half marathon i know that so because that's our local half marathon which the robin cancer trust also owns so i will definitely be there that's a cheeky plug isn't it so it's
00:30:19
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:30:25
UKRunChat
Yes.
00:30:29
UKRunChat
Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:31
Toby Freeman
It's definitely the best half marathon ever um he ah is a good one. And it's very well timed for training. But no, I haven't really got much. You know, it's a bit fallow in those time this time of year.
00:30:42
UKRunChat
yeah
00:30:43
Toby Freeman
And with the amount training, dropping in races just makes it bit harder. So I'm just building all the way through. I will be doing things in the suits. I will be doing 24-hour run-athons with partners and things.
00:30:51
UKRunChat
yeah
00:30:55
Toby Freeman
So the ball's... There's always opportunities. If people have opportunities, i will always travel and go places. And I love running, so I'll always give an opportunity to run around like a giant testicle.
00:31:09
Toby Freeman
But yeah, I'm focused on London. And then after that, I've got the 100K in september to September as well.
00:31:15
UKRunChat
Yeah. So which one is that?
00:31:17
Toby Freeman
That is the Ultra Challenges Thames Path. which I chose because it's really flat and everyone, and I'm not sponsored by them, but everyone says the Ultra events are really well organized.
00:31:30
Toby Freeman
So I wanted something where I knew I could control certain things again and just make sure that it was a race. I wasn't going to get lost mainly. That's my biggest worry.
00:31:39
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:31:41
Toby Freeman
But yeah, I was booked in for this year, was ill. So that's still in the diary for next year. I want to take on the 100K in one.
00:31:47
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:31:47
Toby Freeman
That feels like a really, I don't know. I think that's an important milestone to me. I don't think anyone else.
00:31:51
UKRunChat
It's a good milestone, isn't it? Yeah. So what what sort of long distance have you done before that?
00:31:53
Toby Freeman
Yeah.
00:31:55
Toby Freeman
So the biggest one I've done singularly in in the costume is 56 and a half kilometres. So in June this year, I ran across the country. and So I went from bit further than Carlisle to the edge of Newcastle, coast to coast.
00:32:05
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:32:13
Toby Freeman
We did Hadrian's Wall plus like the extra 10k on the end.
00:32:14
UKRunChat
yeah
00:32:17
Toby Freeman
And that we did that over three days. So I ran with a friend of mine for the first two days, and then I ran the last day on my own. But because of road closure, we had to close five kilometers early on the first day, and then we had to find our way back and did a bit extra on that second day.
00:32:34
Toby Freeman
That was the craggy up and down and up and down through the Sycamore Gap and beyond.
00:32:40
UKRunChat
It's tough. I've only walked a bit of that, um of the Hadrian's Wall, but it is it's very undulating, isn't it? Like very steep in places.
00:32:46
Toby Freeman
Yes. So it's really interesting, the first 50k, and obviously I kept having these like moments going, it's like you're seeing all terrains and then you realize you're running 50 kilometers a day. like You should probably see quite a lot of different trains.
00:32:58
Toby Freeman
But the first part was
00:32:58
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:33:00
Toby Freeman
Slightly coastal. And then it was just like a country park almost.
00:33:01
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:33:03
Toby Freeman
It was just tarmacked. It was lovely. You're running through beautiful countryside, but it was just basically like running through a country park for 50 kilometers. I think we were a full marathon in before we saw our first section of Hadrian's Wall.
00:33:18
Toby Freeman
You're running along, you're going, well, I assume Hadrian's Wall is under the ground somewhere there, or maybe that's it.
00:33:22
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:33:24
Toby Freeman
and But then there was a section at and full marathon in. And then the second day, sort of the more Pennines part is just so undulating.
00:33:30
UKRunChat
yeah
00:33:33
Toby Freeman
You know, you're not really running that. You're running bits that you can and then just walking and trying to power walk as much as you can. And that was that was a long, long day. And then the last bit, I was on my own.
00:33:45
Toby Freeman
And thankfully, the wind was behind us. We must have had an easternly wind the whole time because it just got a bit windy on the last day. But I think that really helped me.
00:33:55
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:33:56
Toby Freeman
And then you've been running. You're in the middle of nowhere, obviously, for 100 and... 30 odd kilometers and then you hit the middle of you're sort of getting towards newcastle and it starts getting a bit more industrial i remember running out to an is basically just hitting state on the outskirts of newcastle somewhere and there were some young lads that got very excited on scooters um i won't say what they said to me but we had a laugh and then we had a serious conversation and they were great they followed me for about three miles just getting trying to get people to donate so i just adopted these young children i was like
00:34:28
Toby Freeman
They're not with me and I'm not in charge of them as their guardian.
00:34:30
UKRunChat
Okay.
00:34:31
Toby Freeman
But if they can get some donations, that's fine. i was like, guys, I think you've gone far away away from your home. You need to go home now. And then I realized ah just in the zone. You're running and you see sheep, you see cows, you see horses. You don't see many people. People were lovely on Hadrian's Wall, but it wasn't super busy.
00:34:47
Toby Freeman
And then you're just in the middle of Newcastle. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm in the middle of Newcastle on the Sunday market. So like a mile and a half of thousands of people and loads of stalls.
00:34:59
Toby Freeman
And I'm just this random guy dressed in this giant ball back, which is like three times bigger than a normal human. And there's just no context. I didn't even have something on me that said I'm doing a Hadrian's World challenge.
00:35:12
Toby Freeman
us And I just hit a stop because there were so many people and it's just me, a giant testicle. without context going excuse me guys excuse me oh sorry coming through excuse me coming through coming through but for about a mile and a half through the middle of newcastle i thought what is my life this is so bizarre and then thankfully the little last coastal bit was quite good um i got to just sort of run in case ah all the way all the way home and it was good.
00:35:37
Toby Freeman
But yeah, sometimes you just think this is so bizarre. there's you You get used to seeing these like Jamie Lang things where there's the BBC's there and everyone's
Mental Strategies and Personal Inspirations
00:35:46
Toby Freeman
like, oh, we understand what's going on or Sam Thompson's delivering a football and it's all over me.
00:35:46
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:35:50
Toby Freeman
And you're nope, I'm just a testicle on a Sunday, random Sunday in Newcastle with everyone just going, it's way too early for this, mate. What are you doing? So...
00:36:01
UKRunChat
But that's the beauty of the suit, I guess, isn't it? That you people will remember you and will probably think, oh, you know.
00:36:05
Toby Freeman
Yes, I did. And again, I had some lovely comments from random people who have obviously found it or taken a picture and just like, you know, as the Geordies do, they're lovely.
00:36:16
Toby Freeman
Away the lads, checking ads, all that sort of stuff. Some donations. It was really it was really good.
00:36:20
UKRunChat
yeah
00:36:22
Toby Freeman
so yeah, again, people understand it. I think once they see there's a charity connected to it, they're just not like someone's had a breakdown and it's decided to go for a long run in a big costume.
00:36:26
UKRunChat
Yes.
00:36:33
UKRunChat
Yes, yeah. And, you know, i often ask runners what keeps them going on the tough days. But I guess, you know, obviously, you are fundraising for a cause that's very close to your heart. So I guess you don't do you ever have issues with motivation?
00:36:48
Toby Freeman
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. um To be honest, the main part of what I was doing in the build-up, so for the last few months, because I felt like my body was in a good place, um but was like, I've never done a challenge like this before. I'd run one self-sustained 50-kilometer ultramarathon maybe two years before.
00:37:09
Toby Freeman
So i was like, I think like my body's in an okay position, but you're always worried about your head going. You know, it's happened to me and right in marathons before, not at the pace of running, but when I've done previous marathons, I've hit the wall every time. I've done a marathon before 18 miles, you know, your head goes, everything is happening in training a few times for marathons. So it was a real worry. And I was like, okay, i need to work on what do I do if that bit hits?
00:37:35
Toby Freeman
Because you know there are just large swathes of time where I'm in between a checkpoint. I had a good support team, but but there could be a long time where I need to pick myself up. The weather could turn. It could be you know a wind right in my face and I might go, I've got 20 kilometers here where I need to just like get through it.
00:37:52
Toby Freeman
And when you hit the wall, that's really, really tough. So yeah, I took... It's probably a bit oversharing, but I took my mind to some pretty dark places. i was like, well, where can i where can I go to in my training? So I'm visualizing this as I'm going out for every single run. I had a trigger point in music.
00:38:10
Toby Freeman
So I had a specific song that was like, if things get so tough, I'm going to put this song on if I don't think I can carry on. and then I'm going to some visualization. and Again, this is trigger warning, ah talking about death.
00:38:24
Toby Freeman
and I will if skip forward a minute if no one wants to hear this, but I was like, if I can get through my brother dying and that day. And I took myself to that place. And I was like, if I can get through that day, I can get through absolutely anything.
00:38:37
Toby Freeman
And that was a big part of what I was doing going into this. i was like, I need to make sure that I know my body won't give up. If I just tell it to keep going, I need to make sure that if my mind starts to go or does go that I can pull it back.
Running as a Mental Health Tool
00:38:50
Toby Freeman
And I've been, you know, I've got a picture up here of, uh, in my, in my office of the day after when I went and played football, because that's what me and Rob did the day after he passed. And I've got that picture there to remind me if I can get through that day, if I can still get up and play terrible Sunday League football ah the day after my brother died with all my mates, again, I can do anything. So I just wanted to make sure I'd done that. And I think that visualization really helped.
00:39:14
Toby Freeman
I didn't actually... get to that place, but I felt a lot stronger going into it.
00:39:17
UKRunChat
yeah
00:39:20
Toby Freeman
And i thought that was I felt like that was really important, just really connecting to the why. Just keep pushing your body keep pushing your body. But there was a lot of training. Like I say, i didn you know I didn't feel unprepared physically as well. So that ah was really good.
00:39:38
Toby Freeman
Again, you just control as much of the controllables as you can. And I talked to all my friends that are run ultras. I was running very luckily with a friend that there's levels to running, isn't there?
00:39:48
Toby Freeman
you know You think I run a 50k, I'm an ultramarathon runner. And then you've got the people that run 100ks. And then you've got the people that run
00:39:53
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:39:54
Toby Freeman
100 milers 250 milers and we were having these conversations where i was comparing myself to him and he was comparing himself to the 250 milers and i just thought actually i'm in safe hands here i've got i've got a well veteran person to run with so yeah again the controllables were there but yeah it's the mindset is a big big part of all of it just what gets you up running what what is the reason don't think it's
00:40:11
UKRunChat
yeah
00:40:20
Toby Freeman
you know the goal is The goal is important, getting the medal, maybe getting the PB is important, but actually is it working towards a better version of yourself? Is it inspiring your kids? Is it doing it for a charity? is it doing for something I always find it easier to do something for someone else than it is for me.
00:40:38
Toby Freeman
So a lot of my whys either have been about... my brother, the cause, the charity doing something for that I set myself, I say it publicly everywhere. So I'm hugely accountable, but also intrinsically my health.
00:40:53
Toby Freeman
I don't actually, you know, my health is my health and i'm I'm conscious of that, but actually that reason why I'm so conscious about my health now is because I've got kids and I want to be around for them. So even my own health is selfishly, or maybe unselfishly is about wanting to be around for my children and to be able to pick them up, to to move and play with them. So,
Surviving Grief: Lessons from a TEDx Talk
00:41:10
Toby Freeman
none of my intrinsic drivers about me i suppose and i think that helps
00:41:13
UKRunChat
That's interesting, actually. Yeah. I mean, you touched on mental health earlier is has running become a kind of outlet for you? Is it something you'll carry on? Does it help through grief and getting through hard times?
00:41:23
Toby Freeman
yeah yeah definitely i so i picked up as i think a lot of people did in covid uh in the pandemic so i get you get the google um history and the the memories and everything and you think oh my goodness like you get something come up and it's like remember doing a five k in about 35 minutes and we we had a little like community where we'd celebrate. And I thought, that was you know that's amazing. and It was really cool. I love being able to track my journey over the years of these sort of milestones. being like Wow, I remember celebrating that. And you see where you are now because it's sometimes you forget.
00:41:58
Toby Freeman
where you are. You're always comparing to the faster people.
00:42:00
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:42:01
Toby Freeman
I think it's really nice to be able to go, wow, a few years ago, that's what I could achieve. And that's much easier for me now. That is a really nice place to be in. Or I've gone through these setbacks and actually that was a tough period, but I came out of that and now I can do this.
00:42:16
Toby Freeman
But yeah, I use running absolutely as my my decompression. ah The world is busy. And there's a father to two young kids, run a charity, um you know got a marriage, i got housework, got a dog, all of the things that a lot of people have. And I'm sure a lot of people have a lot, lot more stresses. And what I think for running for me is just the quiet time.
00:42:42
Toby Freeman
It's meditative. And, you know, I just put on, I've been listening to the same running playlist for five years now. i think I've added about four songs.
00:42:50
UKRunChat
Thank you.
00:42:52
Toby Freeman
But so I think that's almost, I'm quite, i like the habitual nature of that. It's the same songs. It's the same mindset. It's the same, same feelings. um They're almost, I think they're almost like audio triggers. I'm like i'm listening to Yeah, that happens, I'm running.
00:43:09
Toby Freeman
Or ah if it play if I play it in the car, I'm like, oh, I need to go for a run now because I'm thinking about that song. And it's definitely just my decompression. I can feel that build up if I'm not running.
00:43:20
Toby Freeman
And then quite often, If I'm being a bit of an arse, as you can be sometimes, if you're a bit pent up and stressed, my wife might just go go for a bloody run.
00:43:32
Toby Freeman
And then come back and I'm like, I was being an arse, wasn't I?
00:43:34
UKRunChat
Thank you.
00:43:34
Toby Freeman
Because I feel great now. I'm so sorry. let me Let me be normal again now. So I think it's really important. you know and a lot people have different switch-offs some people it is reading a book some people it's um i don't know seeing friends socializing but yeah i find that's just a lot of input and and when i'm running there can be no input and it's just me and my playlist or me and my podcasts i did try metronome running recently did that no i felt like i was going to fall over not for me uh i know a lot of people i apparently it's i think faster more elite people than me um swear by it but i maybe i'm doing it wrong but i felt like my feet were trying to move too fast if i didn't understand it i think i'll go back to the podcast but one thing i have learned is you cannot run and listen to a funny podcast
00:44:08
UKRunChat
right
00:44:27
Toby Freeman
I just, I can't laugh and run. It's not good for my lungs. ah Every time I try and listen to it because you know when I'm driving, I listen to different podcasts. um I list need to listen to quite a dry, like maybe a sports podcast or something or an inspirational podcast. But I'm like, if um'm some podcasts are too funny. i want I can't be belly laughing and running. That's not that's not good.
00:44:48
Toby Freeman
That doesn't work for me. So yeah. yeah
00:44:52
UKRunChat
Yeah, if anything, you'll get some funny looks from people. You're running fast as well, yeah.
00:44:54
Toby Freeman
Yeah, absolutely. Well, you do, don't you? Because you've got your...
00:45:01
Toby Freeman
I'm so sorry. One take. You do get some funny looks because you have your little pods in. i don't think people realise. And then, you know, either you're singing along to something and you're like, oh, actually, people don't know. um I'm listening to music. Or if you're barely laughing, they think they take offence because you think they're laughing at them. You're like, nope, just ah just a good podcast in today.
00:45:21
UKRunChat
um I did want to ask while you're on, um just talk to us about those people who, because you've got, you've done a TEDx talk, haven't you, on kind of surviving grief.
00:45:23
Toby Freeman
Hmm.
00:45:30
UKRunChat
And I'm just thinking about those people who are listening, who are perhaps, maybe they've just lost somebody to cancer or something else and maybe need some help. do you want to just talk us through a little bit about that and um where they can find it?
00:45:43
Toby Freeman
yeah of course well i was i was lucky enough um in this was during the pandemic as well because if people find it they'll notice i've got a shaved head um and that was a classic classic uh covid haircut
00:45:53
UKRunChat
Thank you.
00:45:58
Toby Freeman
ah My wife, bless her, was trying her best to keep my hair going and took the the razor too far. So ended up with a shaved head. and But at the time, it was a ah we were supposed to be doing TEDx Colchester. And it was you know supposed to be on the stage. And you build up to this. And you have these amazing opportunities to meet the speakers and ah deliver your speech. But the pandemic hit. And the whole thing got cancelled.
00:46:23
Toby Freeman
But the organizers said, go and go and deliver this. on a video. So it doesn't look like a normal Ted talk, which is why I'm stood in in ah in a room delivering it rather than on the stage. But yeah, i wanted to talk about something obviously very that has driven a lot of my purpose in life. And when I come back to who I was and who I am now, it was, you know, Rob's death was the trigger point.
00:46:50
Toby Freeman
Like I said earlier, The idea of running two miles in the morning, when Rob said it, I sort of laughed at him. And Jesus, that was a sign that his body wasn't right. But I just thought, well, no one can run that.
00:47:00
Toby Freeman
<unk> know Who does that? um And I wanted to just put something together that people could... reference as this has been my guide to mucking up.
00:47:12
Toby Freeman
Basically, here's what I've learned and here's how it might help you. So I put together these three steps to surviving grief and just told my story as honestly as possible with takeaways that I think are relevant to anyone. You know, mine is, mine is an extreme case. I was in a bad way. Something happened to my brother.
00:47:35
Toby Freeman
we set up a charity that is not the norm. you know not You don't usually 14 years later still yeah doing all of that, running around, getting to podcasts like this.
00:47:47
Toby Freeman
It's not about that. It's just about taking the awareness of where you are, taking stock of what's happening and taking just small manageable steps in your life, whatever that may look like in a way that brings some positive purpose.
00:48:03
Toby Freeman
ah to to you and the people around you. you know i yeah I went through a lot of mistakes and I just want to shorten that learning curve
Legacy of the Trust and Community Impact
00:48:12
Toby Freeman
for a lot of people. So I won't give the entire game away, but that's that's the theme of it.
00:48:14
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:48:16
Toby Freeman
It's available on YouTube. It's called Three Steps to Surviving Grief. And yeah, if anyone's going through something or I would say supporting someone going through grief, it might be an insight into how they're acting, how you can help them, how you might be able to support them.
00:48:33
Toby Freeman
so
00:48:34
UKRunChat
Yeah, because grief grief looks different for everybody as well, doesn't it?
00:48:34
Toby Freeman
yeah thank you absolutely yeah thank you
00:48:36
UKRunChat
So there's no kind of right or wrong way. and We'll put a link to that in the show notes so people can can click straight through and find it as well. Thank you for that. and I mean, what what do you think Robin would say? You could see what you built.
00:48:50
Toby Freeman
i honestly ah don't know if you'd recognize me there's there's sort of a ah beautiful poetry ah to the fact that you know Rob had his life in order.
00:49:04
Toby Freeman
I was the messy younger brother is probably the best way to say it. And I didn't have much purpose in my life. You know, i feel I feel very privileged now that I get to live the life that I know Rob was striving for.
00:49:17
Toby Freeman
when he was when he was very unwell, when he didn't have much time to get time together left, he said, I just wanted to be a dad. you know And that's one of the most heartbreaking things. He never got to meet, he never got to do that, and he never got to meet any of his nieces or nephews. So I feel...
00:49:34
Toby Freeman
yeah, very, very, I don't know what the word word is. It's gratitude. I feel very grateful that I've had the right support around me that has allowed me to build the life. Not that just Rob wanted, but that I never knew I needed.
00:49:46
Toby Freeman
And I can see a lot of mirrors in what I do now. I'm very health conscious. I'm very fit and active. ah You know, I've got a beautiful wife and kids. I've got a house. I'm very lucky in that regard. I've got a job that brings me endless purpose that I absolutely love.
00:50:01
Toby Freeman
And I get to help a lot of other people. and by God, I'd never wish this on anyone, but it happened. And the fact that we've been able to out of out of what happened to Rob, create this. And you know it's not about us. It is about all the people that we help. We've got an amazing community.
00:50:19
Toby Freeman
um We've got all these survivors and thrivers that work with us and help us shape our support services. We build everything with them. And we've got this amazing team. We've got volunteers, trustees that love the mission that come from all over the UK.
00:50:36
Toby Freeman
And I just think, if If something we started and we said, if something good can come from this, we you know it will be worth it If we can save a life, it'll all be worth it. And I think we've done that. And that's an amazing legacy for Rob.
New Podcast Launch and Call to Action
00:50:49
Toby Freeman
Rob lost his life, but it has saved other lives.
00:50:52
Toby Freeman
And therefore, it doesn't feel like it was in vain. It doesn't feel like any of that was wasted. He still talked about. He still felt his presence is there. it's You could say it's guided me. I've got picture up here of Rob.
00:51:08
Toby Freeman
you know and his sensible voice is always on my shoulders and i think my voice has turned into a sensible voice now which feels like again some nice poetry in and what's happened I always looked up to him and I think I've sort of become him which is nice
00:51:22
UKRunChat
Yeah, that's that's lovely. what Yeah, what a lovely kind of way to celebrate his life. and So you want to chat a bit about your podcast? You've just launched the Thrive Against ah Cancer podcast, haven't you?
00:51:34
Toby Freeman
yeah oh thank you
00:51:36
UKRunChat
What inspired that then?
00:51:38
Toby Freeman
So that was our community. Basically, there there had been some amazing podcasts for the cancer community, but they'd just come to their natural progression or weren't renewed.
00:51:50
Toby Freeman
And our community said, want real stories. It's really powerful for us to be able to access people's yeah inner therapy almost, just telling raw stories of what they've been through, cutting through any of the inspirational stuff and just, this is what happened to me. This is what this is what the effects were. This is what I wish I knew. this is what people can get from this story.
00:52:17
Toby Freeman
And yeah, we decided to put it together in podcast format because actually it's so accessible. As you as you know you know, we do the video as well. So we put it on YouTube. It's available. But podcast is so accessible. And actually for cancer patients, when they're going through treatment, chemotherapies, recovering from surgeries,
00:52:38
Toby Freeman
There's a lot of time where they might not have a lot of energy to sit and watch something, but just putting the pods in, just maybe you might be going through treatment actively that day, sitting for hours on end. We want to make something that not everything needs to be short form.
00:52:51
Toby Freeman
You know, sometimes there is a long form piece that is really important. You can really delve into it. And we started with you know good intentions and a bit of funding. Macmillan funded it and the Ardonna Community Trust. So again, they believed in the project and they helped us get it off the ground. And we're nearly 30 episodes in now. And we have had excuse me we have had some amazing guests. you know It's all about just telling everyone's story. so different cancers, different diagnoses, different prognoses, you know, different life stages, different effects, different treatments. But what is absolutely incredible about it, as I'm sure you find in your, you know, I think it's a point of privilege being a host is you see the themes and the threads that connect everyone.
00:53:40
Toby Freeman
And that that's what I love about running. You can be from all walks of life. But once you start plodding one foot in front of the other, there's something that connects you. And then you realize lot of people doing it for simply health, mental health.
00:53:52
Toby Freeman
You know, you've been something, you want to achieve something, it drives purpose. You know, i love that in running. And I see that with the cancer community, these stories. And whatever whatever stories we tell, we always ask the same five questions at the end.
00:54:07
Toby Freeman
Excuse me. can tell I've been talking too much. ah yeah We ask these same five questions to make sure that there's always a bit of continuity, you know, one of the questions is what's the biggest lesson you've learned from having cancer and just hearing people going through the most traumatic life altering things. And then their, their view of the world afterwards or view of the world while they're still going through it or view of the world whilst they're always going to be going through it.
00:54:35
Toby Freeman
It's just incredible. And you just, it helps bring a perspective that I feel very grateful to have a a constant reminder for. So again, I would say as a podcast, You'd think it would just be for cat people affected by cancer.
00:54:49
Toby Freeman
Absolutely. Anyone that either has wants to support someone going through cancer or even wants to be prepared if someone... might be affected by cancer, which, you know, when it's one and two is mostly most of us.
00:55:02
Toby Freeman
um It's just amazing. The amount of people that listen to I'm like, I didn't know if this was going to be for me, but wow, I wish I'd knew that when known that when my colleague or my cousin or my friend was going through it. I just think everyone needs to hear these stories. They're absolutely amazing. If you want a bit of inspiration, a lot of emotion and just a different perspective on the world, it's, yeah, it's absolutely incredible.
00:55:26
UKRunChat
Oh, wonderful. Yeah. We'll be sure to check, to check that out. That's the thrive against cancer podcast.
00:55:32
Toby Freeman
And we've had Andy hood, who was previously on your podcast. He, ah he was one of our earliest episodes and he's fantastic podcast guests, but so insightful and, um, people listen to him.
00:55:35
UKRunChat
Yeah.
00:55:42
Toby Freeman
There's a great, we go really in depth on his story. So shout out to Andy cause he's brilliant.
00:55:47
UKRunChat
yeah Yeah. He came on the podcast a while back. Um, also talking about testicular cancer awareness. So thanks Andy, if you're listening,
00:55:52
Toby Freeman
Yep.
00:55:55
UKRunChat
and So yeah, do go and have a listen back to that one as well if you haven't already. and Thanks, Toby. It's been brilliant chatting to you today. Is there anything else that we haven't talked about that you want to mention?
00:56:06
Toby Freeman
No, I feel very, very ah full up on what we've we've talked about. We're very grateful to talk about Rob, talked a bit about me, talked about testicular cancer, how to check and the Big Bullsy Challenge. You've given lots of time to talk about all the other things we do as well. So I just say...
00:56:23
Toby Freeman
If anyone's running, they find that something's not normal for them and they're concerned about, you know, testicular, ovarian cancers, general cancer symptoms, go and get them checked out.
00:56:34
Toby Freeman
That's what we're all as runners. We need to be in tune with our body. i think we overthink it during races ah when something starts to hurt. But if something's hurting outside of that and it's just. You don't know what's going on.
00:56:46
Toby Freeman
As you would go to the physio, if it's something that needs to be checked by a doctor, please just go and do that. That's the only takeaway. You know you're normal, very in tune with your body. Anything outside of that, just get it checked out straight away because we all know, just like a knee pain, you might need a new pair running shoes. You might need a bit of physio.
00:57:04
Toby Freeman
If it's your testicles, you just need to go get them checked by doctor to make sure absolutely nothing's wrong. So that's it.
00:57:10
UKRunChat
Yeah, and I think the the key thing to say is that and it is very treatable as well, isn't it?
00:57:15
Toby Freeman
Very,
00:57:15
UKRunChat
So there's no need to be to be scared to go to the doctor because I think that often prevents a lot of people from going, doesn't it?
00:57:15
Toby Freeman
ye
00:57:20
UKRunChat
The fear.
00:57:21
Toby Freeman
yeah
00:57:22
UKRunChat
so
00:57:22
Toby Freeman
yep. Yep. 95% curable at stage one. So the longer you leave it, the more complicated things can be. So as with all things, quick action saves the day.
00:57:33
UKRunChat
Right, thank you very much, Toby. All the very best with your world record attempt. Do please keep us posted with how you're getting on with that.
00:57:37
Toby Freeman
Thank you.
00:57:40
UKRunChat
We can't wait to hear all about it. and And if you'd like to support the Big Ballsy Challenge or learn more about the work that Toby and his team are doing, then we'll pop all the links in the show notes. um As always, if you've enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media at UK Run Chat and help us spread the message.
00:57:57
UKRunChat
Thank you for listening. We'll see you next time.