Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Chad Tsunami. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Chad Tsunami. I'm Chad Tsunami and joining me today to regret my life choices is my very good friend Adam. Adam, welcome back.
Speaker: Oh yeah, this is the last time I'll let you choose a topic for this show. I can't believe you didn't fall in love. See, this is the weird thing. I remember ages ago, you and I of course have a mutual friend who used to do like a bad movie night, and I don't know, were you there when we did this one? Yeah, I was there.
Speaker: Like, sorry, line the witch and the wardrobe there. Don't speak to me like that. That was an incredible life event. I was there when it was premiered. Yeah, it was... Oh, yeah. I remember watching it then and kind of enjoying myself. You know, because you're with friends and you watch a bad film and you think, oh, this is amazing. And then when you watch it on your own, you're like, what am I doing with my life? What am I doing?
Speaker: But yeah, do you want to tell the lovely people listening what film we're going to discuss tonight? Well we are we are reviewing the old and discussing the old -time classic that the the creme de la creme of video game movie adaptations Super Mario Bros from 1993
Speaker: I can't believe this came out in 1993. Obviously, although we are kind of 90s children, we would not. I didn't know what Mario was at this time in my life, I didn't think. Yeah, same. I mean, yeah, we would have been what? A year old.
Speaker: Yeah, we were kind of spared with this film when it came out. I actually don't remember watching this film when I was younger. I remember my brothers, they're of course a bit older than me, and they were away into Nintendo and things, so they knew everything about Mario. And I think they saw it.
Speaker: and they weren't impressed. But you know, it was like one of those things they go to see, oh, and think, oh, I don't know, you know. You know, it's like a childhood memory that he's tried to suppress with these kind of problems. It was like, no, I was just going to say, like, it's funny because I definitely obviously I didn't I don't think I fully watched this film until that, until that eponymous night that you've just mentioned. I think I'd seen bits and pieces of it, but I've never actually seen the whole thing beginning to end. Yes. I don't know. It's the kind of thing that like I feel like if I'd been of a certain age and gone to see it, I probably would have loved it.
Speaker: you know it has that feel because it's like you know your tastes aren't as like you know discerning when you're a kid and especially if it's something that you like a character that you recognize and stuff the chances are you're going to be like so absorbed into that that you're like oh it's amazing you know you don't really have the critical faculties to be like wait a second yeah hold on a minute here let's just let's just think about this so i think i would have loved it to be honest
Speaker: Now, see before we talk about the film itself, I want to set the record straight here. So if any of you follow me on either Instagram, Twitter, you'll know what I'm going to talk about here in a minute, Adam. But yeah, if you follow me, you might have seen that I posted a picture of a physical copy of this. It was not the DVD.
Speaker: It was the Blu -ray, yes. I can explain. I am going to explain because we're not moving on until I explain in full detail. Basically, I was in a second -hand DVD shop called CEX. I still refuse to call it the way they want to call it because it's stupid. Anyway, it was a second -hand DVD shop where
Speaker: Yeah, I was just browsing around and then I saw, I actually saw the Super Mario Bros film and I was like, and I texted our friend and I was like, oh, I can't believe it, you know, they've got the Super Mario Bros film. That would be like really good for a, you know, like a bad movie night. And he was like, okay, fine, you know, why don't you pick it up?
Speaker: and I was like yeah sure so I got there we watched it and then like he handed me back the bloody and I was like wait do you not want it and he's like no you you keep it
Speaker: So yeah, now I have a... I'm holding it right now in my hands. I've got a Blu -ray of Super Mario Bros. The original motion picture, rated PG and starring Bob Hoskins, John Legelisamo and Dennis Hopper. Yeah, this is a stage miler. Like, this is... I think this is probably... or that rather was the point in my life where things started to spiral down. I bought this film and just... It all went wrong from there.
Speaker: It's like I know 10. I'm telling my war stories on stream here. I was like, do you see these scars? Do you want to know how I got them? I watched Super Mario Bros and it was a bad time. So yeah, speaking of Super Mario Bros, Adam, and yes, I am throwing the gauntlet over to you here.
Speaker: You're prepared, I know it. In the briefest scenes possible, if you could give a brief summary of this film without reading the Wikipedia bio. Why? I've never read the Wikipedia song and it's not going to make any sense. Why did you do this to me? Yeah, we were friends. Okay. That was before I watched it again.
Speaker: That's really fair from me making you watch this. Okay, so Super Mario Bros is a quote unquote loose adaptation of the Super Mario series of video games and it centers around the eponymous Mario and his brother Luigi who are plumbers in Brooklyn who through various shenanigans get transported to a parallel universe. Yeah.
Speaker: parallel universe that's the word I'm looking for or dimension or whatever yeah which where basically so basically an asteroid hit when the asteroid hit the earth that killed the dinosaurs it actually transported the dinosaurs to a different uh universe different dimension uh where they've evolved into kind of humanoid creatures but still a little bit dinosaury and their big center is called dino haton you know like manhattan but because it's all dinosaurs it's dino haton
Speaker: And so Mario and Luigi get transported to that, along with this woman called Daisy, who is discovered is the princess and the heir apparent of the mushroom, of Dinohattan, and the mushroom, is the Mushroom Kingdom, right? Did you call it that? I think so. Yeah, so let's call it the Mushroom Kingdom for brevity.
Speaker: So, yeah, so then basically Luigi and Mario have to help Daisy overthrow King Koopa, who is the dictator of of Dinohattan. And yeah, shenanigans ensue and Mario refuses to jump. Don't say. Oh, no, that's enough of the bits.
Speaker: No, but I think there's a bit like, well, you know the bit where like Luigi like jumps, like he's got a truss scenario and like jumps across ends up getting himself caught on like that hook thing. And he's like, look Mario, but Mario's refusing to jump. It's like, dude, Mario's like the one thing Mario does is jump. Yeah.
Speaker: that in plumbing there's a lot of plumbing in this film i am not gonna lie i think they took it a bit too literally like mario has never done plumbing at any of the video games has he i don't know the mario cannon that well but i mean loosely if he includes going down pipes as plumbing then yes a lot of that but like it's about like
Speaker: See if they made a Sonic the Hedgehog film, but they focused on the aspect of him being a literal hedgehog. They just filmed an actual hedgehog going around, and I don't know, got Gary Busey or someone voicing him.
Speaker: or Gee Beauty, you're like whoever. Yeah, the horror. There is another film like that with Gee, or Gary Busey, but you know what, I'm not even gonna go into that bad film with you for the Super Mario Bros. But yeah, they're focusing on the wrong thing.
Speaker: It's like, yeah, it's like if they made Lord of the Rings and they focused on, like, a duelers for the film. Yeah, we get Mario as a plumber, but you're not focusing... Well, technically half of the film is them... Well, sorry, a third of it is them in Manhattan, and then the rest of it is them in the parallel universe. Yeah.
Speaker: I'm not gonna lie, the parallel unit, maybe at the time it was innovative, but it just looks like any other dystopian cityscape. You're expecting Judge Dredd to be walking around.
Speaker: I think it's got some character. I think me and you are going to disagree about this film as we go along, but I don't know. I kind of like it. I think it's got a bit of character, but I see what you're saying, but I kind of like it. Although they did get pretty lazy. I don't know if you picked up on that. There's a scene like later on when Bowser or Kupa or whatever you want to call him. Let's just call him Bowser.
Speaker: Yeah, King Cooper. He's got a globe of their world, and it's literally one city, and the rest is desert. And I'm like, wow. Wow. Mario, the Mushroom Kingdom.
Speaker: What? One block of skyscrapers? Wow. And then for some reason he really hates plumbers, and for the life of me, I do not know why. Does he ever explain? Other than the fact it's obviously Mario, who is the plumber, so they have to give him a reason to hate him, but like...
Speaker: Well, perhaps they... I dunno, like... I mean, but that's why we needed more from this universe, so we could dig into them, we need to know the backstory. Like, I don't mean to harp on about it, but they really go hard on the plumbing angle in this film. It's like, there's a scene where it's like, they're talking about the different equipment when they're fixing, like, this pipe and it's like, I need a wrench! I need this! I need that! And I'm like, we get it! You're a plumber!
Speaker: That's like, please stop. Because it's actually, do you remember like earlier on in the film where there's like saboteurs flowers? Oh, that is hysterical. Because as you said, normally saboteurs, they wear exactly, they wear the uniform for the company that they work in. Yeah. You can instantly tell it. It's Scappelli. Scappelli. That's the worst saboteurs ever.
Speaker: or that whole scene. Can I talk about that scene like really briefly? So there's a scene. So basically the film begins with, you know, don't worry, I'm not going to recap the whole thing because we would tell you. But I mean, the film begins with a really weird like animation where, as you said, it's like this really rushed Microsoft Paint
Speaker: As if I was like drawing of these dinosaurs eating, sneaking in like a Brooklyn accent going, things don't get any better than this. And it's like, oh my god. And then there's this weird voiceover where it's like, and I don't know if I picked it up right. Like somebody said, at least I read in the credits that it was Dan casting an error. I don't know if that's true. Or if it's the same one, I'll have to fact check that. Like I did see the name, but it might just be a completely, I must have. Is it?
Speaker: Oh, what? How did they go from that to The Simpsons? But, like, it goes... or sorry, like, yeah, they focus on the dinosaurs and then the meteor hats and it's like, but wait a minute, what if the meteor created a parallel universe and the parallel... like, it starts turning into this weird fanfiction, you know, like,
Speaker: okay what the hell is going on here and then like it's so crazy that you are invested you're like what what is going on and then yeah like transitions to princess Daisy or Daisy she's known as she's like an archaeologist in the middle of Brooklyn you tell me because I don't know why and she's digging up dinosaur bones and you're like
Speaker: okay um in the middle of brooklyn okay and you know scapelli who's like the the stereotypical sleazy like property owner i would say or something like that and he's just like like he's just like he's got properties got plumbing oh plumbing yeah he's got his fingers in a lot of pies and
Speaker: he basically wants the archaeologist gone so he can build faster or something and then there's like this scene where later on as we said like there's these saboteur plumbers that try flooding the site and they're like running away so the reason they end up stumbling across it is because i think it's is it not like after a date or something like Luigi goes on a date with Daisy and Mario like buggers off elsewhere and he
Speaker: They go by the site and then they see the plumbers run away. So they run back to Mario's apartment, say that the place has been sabotaged, and he gets really angry. He's just like, ska -pilly, as if that's a hidden character of Mario or something.
Speaker: It's like, ah yes, Mario vs. Scapelli, it was the highlight of my childhood. And then they light the quick run really fast from the apartment back to the site where it's almost ankle deep at this point, like the water, even though it's a huge pipe billowing out all of this water. And it's like, my god, Mario's faster than Sonic in this. It's like two seconds later he's got his tool belt and he's running. Never seen anyone run so fast.
Speaker: I just wanted to say that because it's like he is so fast in that scene and just like okay we're welcome to the good or bad but did you find something wrong with the editing in this? All I can think of. I was having too much of a good time so I had no time to notice things like editing.
Speaker: it was just more like it would be one like in one scene they would just be standing there and then the other scene it was just like oh my god it's like they're halfway across Manhattan fixing pipes and things and then the other half it's like they're in Dino City and it's like wait what and it was not Dino City but you know
Speaker: Dino Hatton. Dino Hatton, yeah. Just, yeah, sorry. I just wanted to point that out before we got on because it's been bothering me before the whole thing. He's been away in school, sorry. I know. Now I can free myself. I'm going to end the stream now. Okay, see you.
Speaker: That's the only reason I wanted to come on tonight, just to be like, to rant about it. Before we kind of talk about the good and bad, more in depth, have you read about the trivia for this? Because this is a fascinating film, by the way. It really is. I mean, I've read about how close to death Bob Hoskins came in several multiple times during this film. Yeah, like, and correct me if I'm wrong here, but did the Mario Brothers not heavily drink? I think they were both Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo were drunk for it most of it.
Speaker: Yeah, there seems to be a lot of that, but from what I heard, the working conditions in this film are terrible as well. Like, really brutal. Like, there was one I saw, or like a fact I saw, where one of the extras got coffee poured on them because they didn't look dirty enough. Jeez. I directed and thought, oh my god, that is just grim.
Speaker: But I think the one that really, like this is the one that really shocked me, and I think it shocked you when I told you, was the fact that they actually considered Tom Hanks for the role of Luigi. I think it was either Mario or Luigi, but I think it was just Luigi that they wanted to talk. It was Luigi, that blew my mind. Bye.
Speaker: But that's the thing though, it's like the reason, after a minute this is the funny thing, the reason they didn't want him in was because he was then turned around hooch in I think it was 1989 it said and because that film bombed he didn't want to risk a lot of them and it's like you know
Speaker: See if he has to have a bad film to not be in this one. I feel as if that's maybe a blessing in disguise for him. Maybe? Yeah, with Mario. Oh, not Mario. With King Koopa, they actually wanted Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's crazy as well. It's insane. Can you imagine this? Well... Why are you keating as well, apparently? Really? Danny DeVito was also off with the role of Mario. Damn.
Speaker: I actually didn't know that. People who turned this film down, my goodness. Do you know, that is surprising considering the scope of Mario at the time. Because, I mean, if you're like... Oh, it's true. It's like if you contextualise it from, you know, when it was brought out. Like, Mario was everywhere. I mean, like, you know, obviously the games and things, but... And I think it was 87 or 89. I think it might be 89. But they did already have, like, a live -action show of, like, Super Mario. Well, it technically wasn't a live -action show, but it was like...
Speaker: It was like one of those shows where it was like they would have like bits in between where it'd be like a guy dressed up as Mario and they would be doing like skits with like guest stars and things and then he would have like a cartoon. Yeah so it was big, it was popular. So no wonder they thought oh let's capitalize on it with this film and yeah I think
Speaker: Yeah, I don't think it went the way they thought, which I have to admit, has it not been, like, I'm trying to think, has there been a live -action film since this one? Of Nintendo properties? Before Detective Pikachu, because as far as I remember, that's probably... No, that was it. That was the only, well, this is what drove them away from Nintendo. I was scared of doing any others after this one, but no, it wasn't until, as you said, Detective Pikachu. That's so strange that they never tried again, but then again.
Speaker: I suppose considering how badly this film bombed, which I have to admit, although I'm ranting on it in the first couple of minutes, it does have redeemable moments. But we'll get to that. Should we dive into it though? Let's dive into it. Before we do actually, can I just read one thing? I found a fun bit of trivia that made me chuckle. It's about Dennis Hopper. Dennis Hopper plays King Koopa in this film.
Speaker: He talked about being a miserable time of making the film. So he explained later on why he did the film when he said, I made the picture called Super Mario Bros. And my six -year -old son at the time, who's now 18, said, Dad, I think you're probably a pretty good actor, but why did you play that terrible guy, King Koopa, in Super Mario Bros? And Dennis Hopper replied to his son, well, I did that so you could have shoes. And his son replied, Dad, I don't need shoes that badly. It's such a good quote.
Speaker: What was sassy six -year -olds? I'll go shoeless rather than having you in this travesty. Can you imagine? Kids in the 90s, let me tell you. I think kids are bad now. They were sassy. Yeah, that was the 90s for you.
Speaker: A whole lot of sass and radicalness, as they say. I swear we're young, I swear. So yeah, let's get into the good of this film. And I'll let you kick things off, because I know you said there's a lot that you really enjoyed about this film. Here's my... Do you know what? It's funny talking about this film, because I view this a lot like when we talked about the Stallone Judge Dredd film a couple weeks back. I genuinely think of this film... The film wasn't a Mario film, what it was called. Let's say it's called, like, The Plumbing Siblings or something like that.
Speaker: I think this will be like a below average, like pretty mediocre film. It's because it's attached to the Mario name, like, you know, they're still in dread is that drags it down. But honestly, I think this movie is just so much fun to watch. I had such a such fun. It's really, I think we talked about this before, but it's really a fun film to watch with people. And because you can have a lot of fun, you can laugh. I feel like you can laugh at the film, but you can also laugh with it. I think there are some genuinely funny moments in it. And like the bit with like the
Speaker: The bit where the saboteurs run out is hysterical. Lots of the bits of dino hat and I think are really funny. The bit in the prison cracks me up. All the fungus stuff. As well, there's one bit where they're trying to go rescue Daisy. And they come to a bit where they need to jump. I think I actually talked about this earlier on. But Luigi is like, let's do it in jumps. And you get some stuff caught on a hook. And he's like, look, I'm floating. It's all good. And then Barry was like, OK, I'm going to jump. And Barry goes, jump. And Luigi realizes on the hook. He's like, Mario!
Speaker: It just falls off. That bit is genuinely funny. It just made me howl. The bit where the Goomba's dancing and the lift is hysterical. There's so many funny scenes in this film that I just had such a riot watching it. And do you know what? For as much as perhaps it does look, you know, Dino Hatton looks quite generic and you're like, okay, it looks like a generic kind of dystopia.
Speaker: You can see there was money in this film and like they were trying to create like a kind of unique aesthetic. Now we can talk a bit more about the aesthetic and the bads and perhaps why it doesn't work but I think they did create somewhere unique and like I do like the things they put in like the cars being like controlled by electricity and stuff. I thought it was cool like the police station I think was cool and then it's the clubs and like the actual city streets and everything like I quite like look at the sets in this.
Speaker: Yeah, like what else do you want to do? I don't know, I just had a lot of fun watching this film and I just think it's a shame that it is attached to the Mario name because I generally think you can have a lot of fun with this film if it just wasn't called the Mario film. If this was, I completely agree with you. If this was called the Plumbing Brothers or Down My Brooklyn Pipe, you know, something like that. I don't know. I'm not paid enough to come up with them.
Speaker: with alternates of a Mario title. But yeah, if it was like its own film, definitely it would be one of those kind of like... I don't want to say genetic, because this film is anything but genetic at times, but it would just be one of those weird, you know, like, oh, an oil tycoon or a planner wants to, you know, take over Brooklyn and
Speaker: you know then all of a sudden they get transported to like another dimension and like it would have been one of those films that you watched when you were younger and then you would have been like that was a weird film and then you wouldn't talk about it until like it came on TV like another day or something you'd be like oh I remember that thought you know that kind of thing so I totally agree with you on that I feel as if the Mario branding is definitely like one of the hard -hitting points
Speaker: question I was just gonna say how how would you like adapt the Mario like source like source material into it into a film format part of my probably thinks as well like it's I don't quite know how many games have come up by this point and like how established things were to me it seems like it's
Speaker: you know it was still Mario running right you know and jumping over things which doesn't it's not the easiest to translate into a film format so i think for like attempting to do like something quite a difficult task like that the film deserves some credit at least they tried to put this into a kind of under i mean it it's not like it's illogical in so many ways i guess they tried to condense it into a kind of understandable format i'll give them kudos for that
Speaker: funny enough though there are apparently like a lot of like rewrites for this like apparently and i don't know whether this is a rumor or not um but apparently there was meant to be a scene where you know how they're like climbing through you know the koopa palace or whatever or it's not a palace but you know these offices and apparently there was meant to be a scene where they crawled through the vents and they were supposed to bump into Bruce Willis at one point or something like that and there's like what
Speaker: this just like reading through honestly like this is one of the films where it's like read the trivia as well you're not gonna you're really not gonna be like down when you're reading it thinking my god what were they thinking for this and that but it's ambitious I will give it that like I think as well although I'm being harsh on that I think as well to consider video game films were very much the same as superhero films like you do you think that would be fair to kind of compare
Speaker: And what, in what way do you mean? Well, in the sense that when superhero films came out in like the 80s and 90s, other than like the odd exception like Batman or something like that, they weren't really taken seriously. They were more just like, oh, it's just a, it's just a hokey, you know, action film or it's this and that. And, you know, look at the Street Fighter film. Street Fighter film is just such a lot of fun.
Speaker: It's a bad film but at the same time it's like it's just such a joy to watch that film. Because I remember that was another film we watched on that bad movie night. Yes, it is one of those films that definitely you'd have to watch with people but with Mario I think they were probably banking on the fact that it was Super Mario so anybody, or not anybody but everyone would go, oh it's a Mario film therefore it's gonna be good and it would be easy money for Nintendo because I mean if you look
Speaker: at other things like, let's say, for example, Robocop. That was marketed to children. Ghostbusters. During that time, there was just a very... I don't want to be like...
Speaker: you know, acting as if I'm anti -capitals. It was a very advertised friendly time where it was just like, oh, yeah, just slap it on the box. And technically that still happens. But I feel as if now people kind of are a bit more savvy to that. Like, I mean, don't get me wrong, they obviously didn't take to this one. But I mean, do you think that's a fair assessment? I think that is a fair assessment. I was actually just going to ask, I don't know if you know, but like, had there been any other video game movies made before this one?
Speaker: I don't know if Mortal Kombat came before this. I think Mortal Kombat came out later in the 90s. This was 1993, I think Mortal Kombat. I think Street Fighter was after this as well. So in a way, this was kind of a trend. If it was one of the first ones, this was a kind of trendsetter. And again, you're trying something new. So
Speaker: It is one of these things that, being the first to know, now video game adaptations are quite plentiful, so there's a formula. But for trying to do something like that, it is quite a novel thing, and you can see what you actually... And again, I do think that Mario is such a difficult... If you're going to do a video game, I think any of those 80s video games are pretty difficult to transport into a film, because their plots were usually paper -thinned, I don't think even quite describes it, to be honest. You could summarize them in a paragraph,
Speaker: So I don't know, I'll give it props for that if it was one of the ones to come out first. Because as easy as it is to kind of, like again, I know I've been quite negative, but it's easy enough nowadays to be like, oh this was terrible and that was terrible and things like that.
Speaker: at the same time. Like, as she said, they didn't really have a template. Like, it was one of the first films to kind of do something like this and to try and adapt like a major video game franchise. Like, especially for Mario. I mean, my god, can you imagine that? Can you imagine, like, being asked, oh, make a Super Mario film in the height of the Super Mario craze? Like, I would be terrified.
Speaker: I guess that's why they had so many rewrites and stuff, because it seems like they had a lot to try and make a plot for it and everything. Yeah, I just don't know how you do it, how you take something that is like somebody goes right and jumps and transforms into something with a narrative structure and character arcs and everything. No offence, not to slag off Mario as a character, but he's never been a very...
Speaker: again as far as I know perhaps you know perhaps you other people know different but like to me he's never been like the most well -developed character you know it seems more like a kind of archetype rather than like he's not like you know like Booker DeWitt out of Bioshock Infinite or something you know like he seems a very two -dimensional character. Well someone's clearly not read the comics in the extended war. Oh no, I've got myself into it now.
Speaker: Mario just, you know, it's like the Watchmen adaptation. Oh no, sorry, the Amazon adaptation. It's just a serious gritty duck. Yeah, there probably is something like that out there. I would not be surprised.
Speaker: that's what they were trying they were trying to go for a darker tone of this and you can kind of see like why now i don't know whether that was maybe the best idea to go for i mean like i'm glad they did because i i joined the film but like you know i'm not sure in terms of my financial sense whether that was the best idea to go for it seems almost like they kind of like tried to add their cake and eat it but instead their cake just got smashed into their face
Speaker: Was that not the reason though? Like the tone is a bit off in this? Because it was like half of them wanted a kid -friendly film, and then the other half wanted a Batman kind of film, like a kind of darker adult film. Because apparently, and I find this quite interesting, apparently they had to tone down. So there's a scene later on where they're in Dino Hatton, and Dino Hatton is very, it's just like a seedy, you know,
Speaker: dark city with the neon lights and things, and they have to go into this club to suggest... well, they have to suggest this woman that into getting back basically there, take it home, like this big rock. Do you want to know what character she's based off of? Oh, is that Big Bertha? Big Bertha, yeah, which I didn't realise she was based off of the fish.
Speaker: Is that a fish? Because I didn't think she was a character from Mario until I was looking up and I was like, God, Big Brother's actually a fish. Yeah, I genuinely didn't realise the name when I saw that. I was like, is that a compliment? Is that an insult? What are we going for here? What are we going for? Do you want another fun fact about that club scene? Oh God, yeah. Do you know a lot of the dancers in that film? Apparently a lot of them were strippers. Yeah, I heard that.
Speaker: I made that and I thought, no way. Can you imagine a Mario film and just being like, yes, I am proud to be the director of this film where we've got strippers in the middle of the Mushroom Kingdom. For one minute, Mario crashes head first into showgirls.
Speaker: It brings a whole new meaning to that alternate title I had. Which I shall not be repeating. You have to like... You have to scroll back. That's what Chatsunami have to doork. Yeah. The After Rivers. The Brooklyn Pipe Edition. Oh no.
Speaker: OK. Oh, but yeah, it's ambitious. I will give it that. It's not the best, but it's ambitious. It tried. It tried. Just a sticker. It damn well tried. And I think, like, we've seen video game annotations that are just quite lazy and by the numbers and are bad at that rate. So at least this one, as bad as this one is in many respects, at least it tried something.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm gonna agree with you on that. I would rather that a film was bad, but it was memorable rather than it was average and forgettable. Because at least then, if a film is so bad that you can talk about it, then it's kind of done something right. I'm not encouraging films to actively go out there and be like,
Speaker: I'm going to be the worst film I'm going to be in. I'm going to get like the internet clip. In fact, a good example of that is Burdemic 2. Did you ever see Burdemic 2? I've seen neither Burdemic. Ooh, that's one we actually have to watch then. Next week we're chatting up here. Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Now the first one was like unintentionally hilarious but then the second one clearly knew that like the first one was getting riffed on so hard so they tried to recreate the scenes and it just did not work at all.
Speaker: At least for this one, I'm kinda glad that, at least if they were gonna go balls to the wall crazy, they were gonna go all out and just have lizard tongues, dinos running about, goombas, which we will get on to. Oh, do you want to talk about the goombas? Because I know you were saying...
Speaker: I feel like the character adaptations are probably in the bad section. We can move on to that unless you have anything else you want to say. I like the tagline of the film. What was the tag like? I said no game.
Speaker: Oh yeah, so what was... See, the weird thing is, there is some callbacks to the game. Obviously the characters, which we will get into in the bad bit. But also some of the sound design. I don't know if you've noticed that.
Speaker: Yeah it's like kind of 8 to 6, I think it's 8 bit or maybe it's 16 bit but you know that kind of retro kind of sound effects and the fact she uses like a gun at one point to like use the like control panel. Oh yeah yeah. Like she's pointing it as if it's like you're the old's gun used to get for the NES like for DuckCon. Yeah. It doesn't look like that but it's like a similar idea but it's got the laser coming out of it.
Speaker: Apparently some of those were though. Apparently some of those guns were like the light gun things. Really? Wow. I can't remember if it's those ones or if it's the de -evolvers. It might have been the de -evolvers, might have been the ones that are like based off one of the light gun accessories. Oh, okay. I get you. It's like painted up. Oh my god, imagine being that person.
Speaker: Yes, we were like a spray -painted bright silver. It was like, okay, what's the occasion? You know, you really don't want to know. Just spray paint it and walk away. Walk away from this project. Yeah. Speaking of which, will we go into the bad? Can I bring up a gray zone area for you? Absolutely. I don't know where this falls because I don't know if I have a clear -cut opinion. So I'll defer to you on this one. Okay. Do you think the acting in this film falls into the good category or the bad category?
Speaker: I feel as if it's just generic. I guess it's like because as we established the main characters or the main actors in this were drunk off their face. There's like a really awkward scene at the end where they save, spoilers, they save. Oh by the way, yeah we are good at spoilers.
Speaker: about forty -something minutes and they're like, oh yeah, we are talking about this one. In case there's a Super Mario fan out there being like, oh boy, I can't wait to watch this. What's this video? And it's just me ranting, saying, and another thing about plumbing. I don't like it. You're like King Koopa, you have a thing against plumbers. I don't know why it was this. You know what, right, that's how I'm gonna lead with this. Sorry, no, no, I'm gonna go to this.
Speaker: Why did they hate plumbers? They never say. Other than the fact that Mario is Koopa's antagonist. Did they ever explain? Why is that the joy of the film? That you can come up with your own story. You can come up with your own... I mean, I don't know if they made action figures for that. I presume they didn't make action figures for this film. But imagine they did make action figures. You could have scenes and you can have your King Koopa action figure being like, oh man, I've been waiting for my toilet to be unblocked for three hours now. Where are these damn plumbers?
Speaker: Do you want to know a fun fact about this film? Mario and Luigi, the title characters, the Super Mario Brothers do not get into their trademark costumes until 66 minutes into this film.
Speaker: Yeah, I read up on it and that was one of the trivia points where it was like, yeah, they don't get into their typical red and blue and green and blue outfits until 66 minutes in and you're like, okay. Like up until that point, it's just two random plumbers messing about.
Speaker: I don't know about dimension. It gets worse than that though because at the start of the film they're wearing the wrong colour so like Mario is wearing a green shirt and Luigi's wearing a red hoodie like when they're driving around the van that really that was the one thing I got super annoyed at in the film I was like how could you do that that's such a simple thing to like you know see to mock that up got me really annoyed
Speaker: See, I can understand, like 100%, I can understand why they wouldn't have them in like the overalls and things right off the bat. Like, because it might have looked goofy, you know? But you know what? It's like, at least you could do it subtly. Because I mean, you see people do that all the time, where it's like, you know, it's like, it doesn't have to be like, as you said, like it could have been a green hoodie that YouTube was wearing or
Speaker: You know, it could have been the red top that Mario was wearing. Just going back quickly to your point about the acting. Can we talk about the chemistry between some of these characters? Why is Luigi such a creep in this film? Okay, so the reason I say this is because he bumps into Daisy randomly. She's trying to get on the phone like this payphone.
Speaker: he lets her, you know, he's being a gentleman, he lets her, you know, go ahead and do it and he like gives it a quarter and then he just stands there hovering over her and he just makes this call and then he's just like, you're the beautifulest girl that I've ever seen and you're like
Speaker: What? Luigi dinner with me? Yeah, and she goes to dinner. And honestly, it's like... So this is a joke that I make in the channel, oh yeah, like, oh I'm speedrunning. Luigi literally speedruns his love life in this film.
Speaker: He's like I love you so much and you know by the end of the film he's like oh I can't believe you're you know staying here I love you so much. It's like you went on one date and she got kidnapped after it. I can't say this is like love story. What is it? Young love story. I don't even know. I'm getting my words mixed up because I'm just like it's not your traditional love story. I think that's what I'm trying to get at.
Speaker: It's not your Romeo and Juliet. Also another thing as well which I find quite weird. It's just the fact that it's Luigi that's the brother that's, you know, got the love interest and everything. But this is one thing I wanted to talk to you about because I think you know Mario a little bit better than I do. Was Peach a main character in the Mario games like from the beginning?
Speaker: Well, yes she was, but technical issue was called, I think, Princess Toadstool. But yeah, Peach regardless. Yeah, same character. Daisy is a character. Princess Daisy is a character in Mario as well. I've seen her in Mario Kart games and stuff.
Speaker: But I'm confused, I just wonder why they picked Daisy and not Peach. Because Peach seems like the more, is the more recognisable one. It's weird because they put her in like the same kind of clothes, don't they? She's got like, later on, she's got like a pink dress and like she's got the blonde hair, so it's like, why didn't they just make her, you know, Peach? Like, don't get me wrong, maybe they just thought, oh, it's better calling her Daisy than Peach.
Speaker: Yeah, I wondered if she was in a game as well, like, close to the release of this film. I think she was in a spin -off game, maybe. Oh, do you know what? Mm -hmm. Well, apparently, she is actually a Luigi. She is, like, rooming to be a Luigi's love interest. So in that sense, I'll give them credit because, you know, they've kept to that. The only thing.
Speaker: She apparently appeared in the Super Mario Land from 1989, which I think was, I think they kind of took inspiration from that game a lot for the film. So I don't know whether it was just that way, you know, that if that was like the game they knew the most, then like they took her there. But that's always, I did find that strange in that like Peach is such an iconic character from Mario. I just wondered if perhaps she wasn't as iconic at the time. That's why they chose Daisy. It just seemed like a weird choice to me.
Speaker: Yeah, same. And especially when they do pair up Mario with someone and it's not Peach, it's like some Brooklyn floozy. Exactly. Daniella. Daniella, is that her name?
Speaker: I completely - I do have to - oh god, I do have to - sorry. Sorry, I'll let you finish. No, no, no, go for it. I do have to laugh, sorry, just bring it to everyone, but I did one other scene that I find hysterical is the bit where like, you know, so like, basically like King Cooper's been trying to get hold of Daisy, and so he sent his two cousins for like
Speaker: go kidnap her but they don't really know what she looks like they just like keep kidnapping random women and then kidnapping Daniela who's Mario's love interest and there's one scene where Daisy like gets kind of put into the room where all these women are being held captive and then somebody says something they're looking for the princess they're like ooh princess like you're really excited like ooh i'm the princess and everything that kind of cracks me up as well
Speaker: Yeah, that was quite a funny scene. Well, these Brooklyn women just being like, oh, I'm the princess. No, I'm the princess. I was like, oh, no. OK. We're going to have to go to Jersey Shore or something.
Speaker: Keeping up with the Coopers. Coopers. Oh, just... Yeah, it was a bit strange. You would think that... See, this is the thing, because when they tried to kidnap Daisy initially, the two cousins... Yeah, like, how do they put this very nicely? They keep, like, saying, oh, if we fail this again, then, you know, Coopers gonna be mad and everything. There is a room full of Brooklyn women!
Speaker: It's like how many times did they fail? It's like about five or six of them. It's only just one or two. Because they kidnap Mario's love interest again and it's like okay fair enough. It's like okay is that the only one they've kidnapped? And it's like oh no there's been like a whole string of these things.
Speaker: It's like these guys are... they mess up at every turn. How did they not get caught here? Well obviously I know because there wouldn't be a film but yeah like how did they get their hands on so many women? It's like oh this is the pair... yeah that's just... it's maybe a bit of a nitpick but just... it's a bit of a weird one.
Speaker: The other thing I want to draw attention to and apologies for going in the negative, I feel like this is good cop bad cop in this episode. You're like, I think this sounds good. Objection. OK, I don't think it's terrible, but when it comes to Dino Hatton, what's it called Dino? Dino Hatton. Dino Hatton, right, OK. You're the man out of it and it's Dino. Yeah, right, OK. I wasn't sure whether they'd drop the H as well, so it was like Dino Hatton, hey. Dino Hatton, hey.
Speaker: God, I'm in here! We're going down to Naaman Jade in territory. But, yeah, it was... I mean, I thought it was interesting, but here's where I kind of draw issue with this. It's the fact that Mario is very much like, although it's a platformer game, at the same time it's a fantasy game as well, in the sense that you've got all of these huge, sprawling, you know,
Speaker: green hills and you've got all these mushrooms popping up and you've got huge rustic castles. It's perfect for an adventure story to be like, oh let's explore and we might find these creatures and things. The film is just dirty.
Speaker: It starts off in Manhattan, not Manhattan, it starts off in Brooklyn and then they just go into the bowels of the city. They get pooped out into an alternate reality and it's just another city and it's just, I mean, there are interesting things about it but there's also like a lot of random things, like see when they get taken to the police station, which again, that establishes that Mario's last name is indeed Mario, which is something that probably didn't need to be established.
Speaker: to be established? Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. But at the same time, the guy who's processing them has a woman's leg on his shoulder. It's like, why? Why not? Why not? I pose the question to you, why not?
Speaker: We'll discuss it after this. It comes out of nowhere. I get what they were going for. I get they were going for this very dystopian, gritty, you know. There is literally a scene where Toad, who instead of being a mushroom guy, is literally just a guy. He's literally just a guy who sings like Auntie Koopa M songs.
Speaker: Oh god, yeah, it gets arrested, and then two seconds later...
Speaker: I can't even do this with a straight face. Mario tries to stop the police. Mario tries to stop Toad from being arrested and the police officer looks down, sees his tool belt and instantly assumes he's a plumber and arrested him too.
Speaker: And he's like, oh, you're a plumber, we have to arrest you. And he's like, why are you arresting me for being a plumber? And it's like, is this... It's like, has this universe got like a version of Les Mis? Where instead of like, revolutionaries, it's all plumbers? Like, what?
Speaker: Well they put down the Great War? What? The wonders of the heroes of the military. Exactly! And to plumb the means of production, what is going on? I know I keep making a big thing about this, I sound like a broken record but it just seems like the generic. I feel as if they just could have said, oh I don't like you because you're a human and I'm a dinosaur.
Speaker: I have to go any deeper than saying, oh by the way, I don't like your profession, I don't like your haircut, I don't like your outfit. You know, it's like you might as well have gone the full hog then. I just mean, like, I don't like your apartment. I like your life decisions. Yeah. I think your games are subpar. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker: Yeah, it's a very... I don't know. I feel as if with a fantasy world, they could have had a lot more to do. But I will give them credit for, like, what they did. Like, at least it did seem very much like, and I can't believe I'm comparing it to Cyberpunk, but... Kind of City or Night City, as it called. Yeah. I mean, what things did you... Like, I've rambled enough, so apologies.
Speaker: No, I was gonna say, I think you've hit the nail on the head there. As much as I said, I quite like the design of it. It's a bizarre decision to have made the Mushroom Kingdom this bleak post -apocalyptic dystopia when it has never been portrayed as that, has it?
Speaker: Not that I know of. Even when Bowser takes over, I swear it looks nothing like that. Because even when you play the games, it's always bright, it's colourful, the music's quite chirpy, and it only gets serious when you go into the bibles of Bowser's Castle and you have to fight him and everything. And that's when it gets serious, but overall it's always... because obviously it's a children's game.
Speaker: It always has like an optimistic kind of upbeat tone. And this film it felt as if it's like Baby Swish the Mad Max. It's like there's bits where there's literally explosions just going on everywhere. Although I love it Matt, I did laugh at the... So there's a scene with the... I'm gonna talk about the one with the old woman.
Speaker: Oh that is really funny, a little bit. So they're in the city for the first time and they're freaking out because there's just like tiny dinosaurs running about and this like really friendly looking old woman comes towards them and she's like do you boys not have a weapon or something like that and they're like well no. Well she asks first if they're out of town from out of town and then she asks do they have any weapons and they're like no I don't think so and she's like oh what a shame and she pranks out like this huge stun gun.
Speaker: give me all your money, or give me all your Koopa coins, that's it, give me all your Koopa coins !" to which she ends up stealing the rock that they need to get out, but then Big Bertha comes and steals it and punches her, or she throws her over this railing. She hits a car, the taxi driver turns round and is like, are you okay? And then she shocks him.
Speaker: like the taxi driver and then if you're looking like the distance she actually falls over in the car it's like everything's cracked like there's a 10 car pile up and you're like Jesus Christ this is it's just insane but this film is definitely like off the bat if you want like a very a faithful you know very grounded adaptation of Super Mario Bros this is not the one
Speaker: Like, yeah, going back to you though, because as I said I've been ranting about this one too much. Is there anything else you would say that this film kind of fails to deliver on? I think the adaptation, we've kind of skirted this topic, but I think the adaptation of a lot of characters is really far from the mark.
Speaker: One thing, I'm going to go into a slight thing as well here. So like before we move on to that point, right? So the idea is that these two dimensions have like, have been separated. So you got Manhattan, you obviously got Earth as we know it, and then like, Dino Hatton. Yeah. But like, so they've gone on their own separate evolutionary paths.
Speaker: But why is it still human beings? I get that they've evolved from honest stuff, but they still look like human beings. They just have different dress sense a little bit, a more exaggerated dress sense. I feel like they could have maybe, if you want to go down that route, you could have been a bit more creative. I feel like it's just human beings, but they're just a bit wacky. But again,
Speaker: that's what when you're having like when you're adapting these like kind of characters like Big Bertha or or Bowser's King Koopa are the same character right yeah that's kind of confusing yeah when you're adapting like King Koopa and the Goombas and stuff like their character design has no relation to basically anything about these characters in the film I think okay Big Bertha is like the fish is red right and yeah Big Bertha in the film wears red that's about it
Speaker: The Goombas are bizarre. They look nothing like them. When I looked at the Goombas, I was like, how did they come up with this design for them? Because they look nothing like them. The Goombas are mushroom -looking creatures that are short, stumpy legs, basically, and big eyes. While the ones here are
Speaker: giant lizards with shrunken heads. It's such a bizarre design. Although I have to say, I'm always glad they did come up with that because I watched the film last night with my fiance and she went on such an emotional journey with the Goombas and the first time she saw them, she was like, these are disgusting and she hated them, but you could look at the screen when they were on. But as you discovered more about them and you find out that basically the Goombas are de -evolved,
Speaker: forms of the human beings that exist in Dinohattan. She was like, oh, that's really sad. She went on this whole journey of going from completely anti Goomba to being like number one Goomba supporter, like rights for Goombas and everything. They were a favorite thing by the end. So to be a part of that emotional journey was incredible. So I'm glad they designed them like that. But I don't get how they came up with that design.
Speaker: really at all and like even like like King Koopa I suppose to an extent looks a little bit like maybe more than the other characters a little bit more like kind of traditional Bowser but even then like it's such a it's such a like faint reminiscence and then why Yoshi is like a like a reject from Jurassic Park is another bizarre one. Life finds a way. Life finds a way. It does indeed.
Speaker: Yeah, your guess is as good as mine for that. And Toad! They messed up Toad. Oh Toad is! Toad is surreal. Yeah. So the established Toad is just being this busker on the side of the streets that's doing, as we said, the anti -Koopa songs that they're singing before Mario gets arrested as a plumber. Last time I'm going to say that.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like... Yeah, they change him into a goomba. Like, other than him being a goomba, like, he's just a regular guy. Like, he's not mushroomy. Which I know sounds weird. Like, you're gonna say, like, how could they make a mushroomy? But I mean, I have seen adaptations where, you know, it's like, even put on, like, a hat or something.
Speaker: Honestly, you can tell a lot through like subtle clothing choices or design choices. This was just like a bus guy you would see in like, I don't know, to use like an example for Scotland, you know, like up Buchanan Street or something.
Speaker: Or like, I don't know, Edinburgh, you know, like, just in general. It wasn't very creatively designed. And then they turned them into Goomba. So it's like, oh, okay. That's the end of that then.
Speaker: wash your hands. Yeah, there's nothing of the Toad character. And again, do you know, I don't know how established some of these characters and some of this lore was by 1993. Like, because I'm trying to think like, maybe now it's looking back to 2021, then we know how like, we know who these characters are, because they've been, you know, established, and we've seen like, so many different, so many, like, versions of them, but they all kind of look the same and everything. I don't know, maybe in 1993, it wasn't, but like, Toad was a character, like,
Speaker: along with Mario Things wasn't he and stuff and had a kind of distinct look and it just weird that they've gone for this like version of him. Well from what I remember I think he was established because I am sure like I brought this up earlier about the live -action TV show they used to have and when they had the cartoon I think Toad was a character in that as well. I don't think he was the best I think he was quite whiny but then again like Toad has always had that kind of nasally voice which don't worry I won't try to
Speaker: Yeah, it was still a character. Even in the first game, they are saying thank you, but your princess is in another castle which has spawned many a t -shirt that you see at Comic Con.
Speaker: yeah it wasn't very like definitely wasn't that creative like in terms of the character design like mario and luigi like they could as we were saying they could have color -coded them at the very least my god put them in the red hoodie like
Speaker: Not Luigi, no Mario. I know, it's simple. It's simple things guys. Like really subtle things like he could have had like I don't know a red jacket and maybe like you know just jeans or something like blue jeans and that would have like obviously you would have been like oh so when's it gonna get into the real Mario thing and then they could have saved it for that and had the build up but no they just like at one point he's down yellow like a yellow suit and there's like
Speaker: How? Where? Why? That suit is glorious. I take my hat off. I doff my cap to Bob Hoskins because that suit is glorious and I want to fight anyone. Can I just briefly touch on that scene where he tries to seduce Big Bertha?
Speaker: Like, yeah, this is the only film where Mario... Mario the, erm... Oh, how do I put this? Mario the, you know, childhood icon, the gaming character, erm, seduces a lady in a... in a... what used to formerly be a strip called the Parnell.
Speaker: It's now just a normal dancing club and yeah tries to get like this stone they need to get back home from this woman but like they keep dancing around and everything and it's like yeah what did you think of that?
Speaker: I loved it. I think maybe because he does so much un -Mario stuff in this film. It's so far from what the character does in the games. I always love the fact that he's doing all this stuff and I'm like, where's this game? Where's this Mario game where you have to seduce Big Bertha to catch the whole battle? Better than just jumping on their heads, which I presume is how you beat Big Bertha in the actual game. I don't know if you can beat Big Bertha, can you?
Speaker: Well, I actually don't know. It's been a while since I've played the games. In the comments how you beat Big Bertha. But yeah, please email us or get in contact because we really need to know how to beat Big Bertha occasionally. Can we ask our big brother again? Yeah. Yeah, because I don't want to ask my uncle at Nintendo about this.
Speaker: Can I also say how cheap the Bob -omb looks? Oh, yes. It looks like some crappy thing you got of some terrible seller on Etsy. It does, doesn't it? It looks so cheap. Can I also say, was it wearing Reeboks? It was! Because I never noticed, but then I was watching a video on it and someone was like, oh and the Bob -omb was wearing Reeboks and it was like, oh my god it is!
Speaker: It's simultaneously the best and worst bit of product placement I think I've ever seen. Why would you... Reebok actually saw that and thought, I mean it is such a 90s brand, but it's looked at that and thought, yeah, we want our brand on the foot of a buff.
Speaker: I really hope that was like they wrote that in like we'll give money for this but we specifically want like advertising to be on the bomb it's like you sure you know Mario can wear the red tutti no no we'll scrap that we're gonna we're gonna put it on the bomb and yeah
Speaker: Can I also just say the music is very annoying? You get some bits that are alright, but then whenever Mario and Luigi are getting into hijinks, they just loop the same soundtrack over and over again. I feel as if they had very Twin Peaks -esque music.
Speaker: I feel as if there's a black and white cut out there that needs to be made. Your favourite movie's coming back into style.
Speaker: I was also gonna say I got some Bioshock Infinite vibes, and I can't believe I'm comparing Super Mario Bros the film to Bioshock Infinite, but I got some Bioshock Infinite vibes when this alternate universe still has recognisable music from Earth, because they have Love Is The Drug by Roxy Music, which is done by somebody else, but I'm like, oh my god, this song still managed to be created in this alternate universe, or perhaps they stole it from
Speaker: you know there's some version of Jeremiah thinking in the Super Mario Bros world and Dino Hatton. I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, dinosaurs, Jeremiah thing. One more thing that I just want to touch on and I can't believe I've waited this long to actually bring it up. The opening scene. How? Why? Who thought that would be a great way to start? Basically! Are you talking about the one, oh sorry, are you talking about after the Brooklyn dinosaurs?
Speaker: Yeah, after that. So yeah, the film begins with, as I said before, the MSP dinosaurs, like talking, saying, ain't nothing better than this, Jim, or whatever. And then, yeah, the meteor crashes, blah, blah, blah, the narrator says, but what if there was a parallel universe and you're like, okay, okay, I get it, I get it. And then, yes, then it begins as a completely different film. Okay, and this, like, poor woman,
Speaker: brings like this box to an orphanage along with like a rock on the like the box and she taps the door she runs away these poor nuns look outside they bring it in they open the box and do you want to describe what's in the box Adam it's a giant egg
Speaker: It's a giant egg! And you think, where is this going? So the egg starts to kind of wobble and crack and everything, and out comes a baby. So, you know kids, you know how they told you, like, the birds and the bees in school? No, they're lying. It's eggs, apparently. Somebody from the alternate dimension leaves an egg on the doorstep. I'm sorry, but like... That's where baby's come from. I'm sorry, but how did that church explain that?
Speaker: How do they cover that up and be like, we can never speak of this? It's like, I've virtually just taken a baby or an egg in and it's hatched a child. Also, it is in credit, they are incredibly lucky that they decided to give that rock to her to wear as a necklace rather than just dispose of it along with...
Speaker: because she wears a piece of the meteorite that hit the earth that split the two worlds into different dimensions and that's the thing that like King Koopa needs that to try and like merge dimensions so he can take over earth because it's got all the better stuff on it and so like she wears this, Daisy wears this as a necklace and thank god the nuns decided to make her into some jewellery rather than just like throw it away yeah because otherwise yeah no salad just in pawnbroker I don't know like what was the 90s version of Etsy again just the street stand or?
Speaker: Your man down 4th Avenue? Are we uncovering a better film? Where it's like the nuns have like a side hustle? That would be amazing, you'd love to see that wouldn't you? Yeah and it's like oh yeah yeah the baby coming out of the egg yeah that's cool but
Speaker: Do you want to see this sick bling from Brooklyn? Oh, these nuns up to! Yeah, bling in Brooklyn. That's what it could be called. I was going to make the joke and be like, you know, whoever the creator of this film is, give us a call. But no. Please don't. They never directed another film again. I don't know if they did, did they? No, they didn't. Did they not? They just killed their careers, like stone dead. Was it a maddied couple that did it? Yes, apparently it was. My God.
Speaker: Imagine coming home every night and being like, what scene are we going to film tomorrow? Oh, we're going to film the scene where
Speaker: where the ceiling gets left for the Catholic Church. You had a great comment before when we were just before we started when we were like setting up how to talk about this episode where you were describing it and you were like, oh yes, the first thing I think about, I think of Mario the Catholic Church. It's true though. It's like, oh yeah, when I'm playing Mario, you know, I'm thinking of the Hail Marys and everything. It's like,
Speaker: It's just the weirdest start, like beyond the dinosaur, because it's like this weird animated dinosaur thing, this rushed explanation and then all of a sudden...
Speaker: I've got like this weird, like, egg child abandoned. Oh, just... Yeah. And can we also talk about our dad? I've been putting this off for so long. I've been praying it away, but it's just it's not going away, so we're gonna have to talk about it. Basically, you know how they talk about the Mushroom Kingdom? You know, the Mushroom Kingdom, the
Speaker: land of verdant grass and or verdant fields and you know like just rich you know fantastical landscapes well they replaced that with obviously the city as we talked about and
Speaker: As you said, Koopa's got this gun that devolves people, so it changes him into the Goombas. So he apparently staged a coup for the king, and the king was one of the first people to get devolved. What the hell do they devolve him into? Because they say mushrooms!
Speaker: I've never seen a mushroom like that! Like, what? It's like, it's like, I think I feel uncomfortable with the fact it's like a kind of like upside down volcano and then this like weird, I don't want to say sludge, what? What? So please help me because I don't like, it's like this. I don't want to help you.
Speaker: It's like a more suggestive version of the Alien monster. Okay guys, you know when the Alien opens its mouth and a smaller mouth comes out? Imagine the Play -Doh version of that. Less appealing. Imagine the Play -Doh version that had been left out in the sun and the rain for a year and you go back to play with it. And it still makes better entertainment.
Speaker: It kind of, it slates and it's like...
Speaker: But there was like it's so disgusting and they make like jokes about it like oh look it's the fungus has been guiding us all along and it's like this film is weird because in the span of like a couple of minutes they talk about parallel dimensions and genetic modification
Speaker: I mean, what else do they do? Oh yeah, they talk about overpopulation, they talk about deforestation, they talk about plumbing, they talk about planning for this city. There is so much to unpack in this.
Speaker: Oh I did message you when I watched that scene. Just the oh it is very uncomfortable and I think like when I was looking into this like everyone was saying that as well like basically to yeah just explain there is like a brief scene where they show the Twin Towers but then they show it like dissolving and changing into Koopas Tower and pretty much every single comment I read was
Speaker: that didn't age well and it's like yeah and then everyone just moved on though yeah but even that is oh sorry no no go on no no you first I was just gonna say I was actually gonna say you know I'm gonna give praise to the directors and the and the screenwriters for this film because they clearly like they clearly like did some method acting for this because as you know like Mario eats a lot of mushrooms to like you know make himself grow bigger and
Speaker: you know, stuff doesn't even get powers. They clearly ate a ton of freaking magic mushrooms to devise this film. So they lived the Mario lifestyle because I honestly don't know how else you can't put half the stuff in this film without some psychedelic help.
Speaker: I thought that as well like they always say that they always say like this is a stereotypical joke of you know, when you're talking about video game characters and You know, they always go for the bare basic like explanations or not in the bare basic explanations But the bare basic jokes like oh where does Sonic hide his rings or for Mario? Oh Mario eats mushrooms. Haha funny. Hi guy. Um That kind of thing. There's a weird scene though where he manifests like a tiny
Speaker: mushroom into a shield? I don't get it. Trust the fungus. Yeah, trust the fungus that he literally says that. I'm genuinely not making this up, but he does say trust the fungus, he brings out a tiny mushroom and it acts as a shield. I am wondering, I would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation, for someone just to be like,
Speaker: Yes, of course. So today we are going to be writing the penultimate battle between King Koopa and Mario. Jim, you have got, he brings out a mushroom from his top pocket and it acts as a shield. Well, everybody else is quite, so we're going to go with that one.
Speaker: It's just like, there is no way. There is no way. They looked at that and thought, perfect, this is exactly what we want. Yeah, we should honestly. If it's not copyrighted, which I hope to God it's not, we should really get that in a t -shirt. Just trust the fungus. Trust the fungus. What I love as well is they got in Lance Henriksen.
Speaker: uh to play like to play the the the human version of the of the fungus who's a king at the end of the film he's most famous for playing um bishop in the alien films oh it's not the same guy yeah it's the same guy no way over about what 10 seconds
Speaker: yep and he says those plumbers really did it or something like that see that's a weird thing as well it's like it's bad enough right it's bad enough that they're like oh this is meant to be the king of the koopas or not the king of the king of the mushroom kingdom but they give him like a huge like for shawl or something like a for cape you know like a kingly cape and it's like there is nothing medieval about this world at all this is like as i said before this is mad max 2 .0
Speaker: it looks more like royalty from like a, why would they have plumbing? And they were like, you know what, I'm not even gonna, I'm not even gonna go, I'm not even gonna go. I feel bad making you watch this. I've like broken you with all the plumbing stuff. It's just, I didn't really, maybe it's because I watched it with friends, you know, before and I didn't like, you know, when you watch a film like this with friends, I would still recommend people watch this film with friends because it's one of those films that is definitely, it was so ridiculous but at the same time it's
Speaker: Why is he in that cave?
Speaker: really fun to watch. I do agree, as much as I'm learning about it, it's fun to watch. But it's got small things when you go back to watch it. There's a scene where Mario's like, oh, these pipes haven't been serviced for years. And Luigi's like, oh, it must be a non -union job or something that's like, we get it. He fix pipes for all of us.
Speaker: And then he's like, you kind of trust your tools, Luigi. And I'm like, okay, so what have we got in this film? We've got dimension hopping, the Catholic Church, babies getting born out of eggs, and now we've got plumbing 101. Yeah, this one maybe broke me more than I care to admit. How can you not love this film when you just listed everything there?
Speaker: Oh yeah, and of course the babon that takes, which I halved in that, I did find that funny. When they wind it up, I thought, although I did think why didn't they just throw it, but you know, there wouldn't have been a film. But then they transformed that other guy into a monkey. Why? Or not even why, but does he ever get fixed? Was that meant to be Donkey Kong? Was that what that was going?
Speaker: No, but that would have made sense if it was. That would have been fun. Again, like with Dread, it's such a shame that they weren't able to expand this universe out. We could have had Donkey Kong, we could have had a big Bertha TV series, all the possibilities we had. We could have one about Granny's Adventures and Dino Hatton.
Speaker: Are you thinking of the Marvel extended universe? I literally am, I'm thinking of the Super Mario, I think it's the extended universe. Making a thing, release the, I was going to say, what's the Snyder Cut version of this? I don't even know. Bring it back. The Koopa Cut, yeah. Release the Koopa Cut. We demanded, in glorious four k's, the old black blu -ray, we demanded
Speaker: Oh my god, this film. This film is just, it's just surreal. Can we talk about the ending? Like real quick? I was going for it. Like the... Sorry, I just got a message there from someone saying the Big Bertha cut and then laughing. God damn it. Right, who owns this film? Release it in Buena Vista. Release it in Buena Vista.
Speaker: Come on, you killers. Look, do I have to follow them on Twitter? I just spam them every day. It's like, I'm going to be one of those like, you know, the novelty of gimmick accounts where it's like day one of spamming them until they release the big Bertha cut. Day 50 until they release the big Bertha cut.
Speaker: I just feel like, where is it? But yeah, the ending is just so weird for this film. It's like, in fact, sorry, before I go on about that, apparently the Italian version, and I don't know why, but apparently the Italian version ends like a lot sooner. Apparently it ends when the Koopas are dancing, and that's it. At least I read that somewhere. I could be wrong. I don't know. They never say. That's strange. At least the Italian version. I don't know.
Speaker: That's me just sobbing in a corner in the dark going, I don't even know what's going on. I mean, between them women who turns into a skeleton. Oh, that is great. That is actually hilarious. Where George falls over at the end. Yeah, it's like there's a scene where like the love interest for Koopa tries to like use the key to get into the real world, but obviously because she's not the chosen one or whatever.
Speaker: she can't get through so she gets turned into a skeleton like slammed against the wall so they've got this prosthetic skeleton just like in a tebow it's just like ah it's like oh it's so funny i was like i can't believe they did this i can't believe like the prop guy made this up and they're just like yes this is what i want in my film this is my finest work
Speaker: my Mario opus. It's like, oh, do you think people obviously accept the mean stars, but do you think people put this on their CV? I mean, I think maybe if you're like the visual effects people, because like there is some quite impressive stuff, you know, for its time, apart from that, I don't know, probably.
Speaker: Probably not. Maybe the strippers have it on their CV. Do you know the reason why they took that out other than the fact it makes no sense in a Mario film? But you know the other reason they took that scene out was because apparently a couple of weeks before they released it I think Disney got the distributing rights for this film. So they had to change a couple of things and that was one of the things which I think
Speaker: goodness I don't know like I feel as if that would have been a bit too much and this is coming from someone who's complained about you know plumbing for a solid hour and a half but you know plumbers are important but I don't want to watch every five minutes of my video film I don't want their lifestyle rubbed in my face I don't know that opulent lifestyle of fighting dinosaurs why have you shown me what I can never have
Speaker: Yeah, the ending is like just the total, it's the absolute pinnacle of a 90s video game ending, like video game film ending where they basically tease for a sequel and it's basically the leaf daisy behind in the Dino world and you know Luigi's like, but I love you! And it's like Luigi, you know her for half a day, get over it!
Speaker: And then I'm going back to their apartment and you know like Mario's shat up with Daniella and everything seems to be going better now. Like their apartment's like a lot cleaner and everything. Like did you notice that? Yeah, they've hit the big bucks now. Really did. I don't know like was Daniella right? I don't even know. I don't even know. Is she in the lore?
Speaker: He's a mafia daughter. Mafia? Oh god, yeah, that'll be the sequel. But yeah, Daisy kicks down the door and she's got a band of ammo over her, and she's like Mario Luigi. You know, something's going down, and Mario's just kind of like, oh I know, or something like that, and he's like, what the fuck? And you know, Luigi's like, how do you know? And he grabs his tool belt, and I'm like, oh here we go again. More damn plumbing!
Speaker: Why did I get the feeling that the sequel was like a straight to DVD plumbing instructional video? It's just like, here's how you fix a T -joint. It's like, oh no. Release the instructional video. Release the whole Snyder cut. Oh sorry, the big birth cut. We need it. We need it. Yeah, it's one of those endings that is just left in a cliffhanger and you're just like, why?
Speaker: never to be never to be resolved exactly it's like to be continued and it's like and it never was and the reason i say that is because i think that's how the mortal combat film ended where that ended on a cliffhanger yeah before the sequel like picked off right
Speaker: where the first one ended. I don't know if the Street Fighter one did that as well. But you know, it was a typical thing in the 90s for those kind of films where it was like they wanted to kind of beat a sequel, but obviously because it did so poorly. Yeah, it did not work out. Not to me. Nah, I'll just assume. Is there anything else you want to touch on before we kind of conclude? There's actually one quick thing I want to talk about. So Mario wouldn't have had a voice by this point, would he, in the games?
Speaker: No, but he would have had... I mean, technically he had a voice in the cartoons and things. Oh, so the cartoon? What voice did he have in the cartoons? You know, was it...? I don't know if it was, like, stereotypic. I think it was, like, Brooklyn accent. Oh, so it was kind of a bit like what Bob Hoskins was doing.
Speaker: think so yeah i think because that's that's exactly the kind of voice and i could be wrong because i don't know my accent from my elbow when it comes to america but like i'm sure it was a kind of brooklyn or a it's a super mario show like that kind of italian american yeah pretty much rather than like the one that we have now like yeah yeah fun fact he's a really nice person just off topic
Speaker: Yeah, I got, like, this is a complete, like, side tangent, but were you there when I got the autograph from him? No, I wasn't, unfortunately. I only had the story secondhand. Oh, God, yeah. So, for some reason, I decided to get the autograph of the voice actor who does Mario Charles... I'm not even going to attempt to say his name, because, yeah, I know I'll mess up, so I wouldn't say it, but...
Speaker: He basically, like, I remember people saying, like, I'm telling someone about this and they were like, oh I remember when I went to see him and he was very, you know, he was very stoic and he just signed and, you know, brushed people off. See, when I went, he came out with, like, the full music going, woo hoo, yep woo hoo, and I was like, oh my god, should I be here?
Speaker: But he seemed like a nice guy, you know. That's all I was getting at with that very side dungeon. And that like five minute snippet where I gave him an item to sign.
Speaker: Yeah, in case anyone's wondering, it was a copy of Mario 64. Yeah, just a guess. And he scribbled all over it, so you know what? That's a wooden map out. But yeah, sorry, going back to the film. Yeah, it seems as if it was like a kind of Italian -American, Brooklyn -y accent. Yeah. Well, that makes more sense, because I did wonder if Mario had the accent, the voice that we associate with him now. That's another weird twist, but OK, fair enough.
Speaker: I think because Bob Hoskins is deplete. Have you seen that film Who Framed Roger Rabbit? I've seen bits of it. Yeah. That's a good film. But he's basically doing his character from that in this one kind of. So it is that kind of like that kind of New York accent. But if that was the kind of voice in the cartoons and that makes a bit more sense. Right. Yeah. On that one. Also, it's a shame Luigi doesn't have a moustache because he had a moustache in the games. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I just think they got
Speaker: John Leguizamo and we're just like... That'll do it. Leguizamo sounds a bit like Luigi. Yeah, it's like, let's just slap him in the ass. It's all Italian. They're fine. Yeah, let's just slap him in some overalls and that'll be fine. Red or green? I don't know. Red hoodie. Somebody 20 years later very annoyed. Do you know the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe the costume designer was a Sonic fan and he was just like purposely trying to sabotage us for him.
Speaker: Now that's the film I want to see. I want to see the Sonic fan try and take down this film. Do you think it's the one area where Sonic has the upper hand on Mario in terms of films? Nevertheless, yes. Back then, no, because they did technically have an animated film.
Speaker: That actually might be another good one for a chat tsunami, but it's a very surreal one. I'm thinking, do I prefer this or do I prefer that? I don't know, because that one's another weird one where it's like an anime. It's not like a live action.
Speaker: it's say like anime one but it was supposed to be like an anime one that would lead into a series but it wasn't really received well and just there's just a whole load of random stuff like thrown in but i mean at least it stays true to the character in that sense so technically like i think it's probably got a leg over this one but not by much i'm not saying it's like you know it's like running you know miles ahead of it by any means but
Speaker: Yeah, I think Mario was just unfortunate. And again, if you look at nowadays, the new Mario films getting developed by, I think it's Illumination films, which I have to admit, Mario in an animated setting,
Speaker: I think that could work. I definitely think that could work. And again, they're going for the Mushroom Kingdom setting and everything. I mean, look at the games nowadays. Like, the amount of locations and places that they've actually explored and things. Even their cities, like whenever they explore a city, like in Mario Odyssey, it's very vibrant. And then we get down to what happened.
Speaker: But no, like, I again, it was a first time. It was a bit too ahead of his time, I think, as you say. So it'd be much easier to adapt to Mario's story now. Oh, yeah. Honestly, it has kind of like a classic story to it and everything. You could adapt something like that much more easily than you could do with the older Super Mario Bros. So can I just like, before we wrap up, can I just pick up one thing? You know the saboteurs? Yes.
Speaker: Did they ever bring them up again? Uh, no. They literally bump into them at one point, like when they go to fix the pipes and then that's it. They're never seen again.
Speaker: I mean, this Cabeli thing is like... No, I was going to say it's a Deus Ex Machina, but I don't think it even is that. It's a way for like, Luigi and Daisy to connect. And then at the end, they're like, oh crap, we have to resolve this, turn him into a monkey. Yeah, they just turned him into a monkey. We're done with it now. Yeah, and they just carry off the monkey. Everybody starts laughing.
Speaker: And it's like, that's horrifying. That's not funny. No wonder he becomes Donkey Kong, probably. Yeah. Oh, that's just the real, isn't it? As I felt. Yeah. But kind of... I don't watch it. I don't go watch it. Like, it kind of wrapping up though. Like, what would your kind of final thoughts be on this film as a whole?
Speaker: other than watch it because I know you've said that. I have to say like this film is ridiculous and there's a lot bad in it but I still really like it the times I've watched it I've had such a blast watching it I think it's very funny both intentionally and unintentionally and but yeah like if you can watch it with somebody else like and I think you can have a good time you can have a good time with this film. I would agree with that I do think
Speaker: I genuinely do think that this, this is definitely a bad, like, you and I are both kind of fans of bad films, aren't we? In the sense that it's, you know, like, films that are so bad that you can actually enjoy, kind of thing, like The Room, for example, or Birdemic or whatever. I do think this is definitely one that falls in that category. Whether or not
Speaker: If you're taking this as a Mario adaptation, then yeah, you're not going to have a good time. It sucks. Yeah, it sucks. You're not going to have a good time at all. If you're taking this as another like, again, I don't want to say generic, but like another bad movie that you can, you know, that you can watch with friends, you know, like obviously with your discretion, you know, considering lockdown and everything. But if you're out of that and you're allowed, I thought you were going to give a health warning there.
Speaker: We're like, watch this little mature discretion. We take no responsibility. That's what that would be for. Damage inflicted. Super Mario Brothers may include migraines. Because you'd have an irrational hatred of plumbers. I don't hate plumbers, okay? I just, I feel as if they died. I just don't get why they focus on the damn plumbers.
Speaker: Moving on. Yeah, have a garden party with this film. You'll love it. The kids will love it. Especially for kids. They'll love this film. No, jokes aside, it's a terrible film but it's a fun, terrible film.
Speaker: If you're wanting, as I said, if you're wanting the Mario adaptation, just wait till the elimination one. I'm sure that's going to be great. If you want, you know, just like a fun goofy film from the 90s that you can enjoy with friends, you know, get a couple of friends around if you can, get your snacks and everything and just enjoy it.
Speaker: laugh because it is. It's like the one thing I will say about this film and this is something I do love about bad films because as much as I did complain earlier at least if it's so bad you can talk about it then it's done something right because you know we can talk for ages you know about the you know designs and everything and
Speaker: you know like things that went right, things that went wrong but at least if we do that it's made an impression which is something that I feel as if it does really well definitely leaves an impression and it took a risk like it did take a huge risk with half of its things so I can admire the film for that I can't like 100 % say oh it's terrible we'll never watch it like I don't say that at all the only thing I would say don't rush out for the blu -ray
Speaker: You could. You could rush out for the Blu -ray if you wanted. Yeah, I've got the Blu -ray sitting right beside me. What are the bonus features? Oh, that's a good question actually. I don't think it. Bonus features. This ain't no game. Oh god, there's a 60 minute documentary on this. Oh my god, we have to watch that. Oh my god, we actually do. That can actually be Assassin Abbey.
Speaker: There is a making of, I actually didn't realise that. That shows how attentive I was. I was just like, yeah, turn the film off, get it out. Get it out of it. There's the original electronic press kit, whatever that means, and behind the scenes is storyboard. Can I also just say as well, they've also got a still on the back of this box of when Toad gets transformed into Goomba.
Speaker: But it's between when he's getting transformed, and it's like between when he's getting transformed into a goomba and when he's still human. So his face is like all stretched. He looks more like, you know, like a gum commercial. I love it. It's like, this is what happens when you eat five gum. It's like, yeah, this is, this is nothing.
Speaker: But yeah, overall, like I would say, if you can watch it with friends, just yeah, make a night of it, make a night of like bad films. Like just in general, bad film nights are great, but yeah, I would recommend this film as well. As it's goofy, it's absolutely insane. But at the same time, after that I've got like a soft spot for it.
Speaker: Even after ranting, I still have a soft spot. Maybe that's like Stockholm Syndrome. I don't know. It's like the end of when Harry met Sally, who was in that one where she says to Harry, it's just so damn difficult to hate you.
Speaker: Exactly. A word to laugh at. Exactly. And yes, speaking of that, if you want to catch more of my content, you can catch me on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Twitch. Of course Twitch, because you're listening here. Did you just collapse it? I just fainted off my chair. He's like, run along.
Speaker: So yeah, sorry, before I was rudely interrupted by your collapsing. Nah, very good. Yeah, you can catch me on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Twitch, Facebook, and TikTok as well, under the name Satsanami42. If you want to catch more of our Chatsanami episodes,
Speaker: you can check out and anchor Spotify and all good podcast apps so if you type in Chat Tsunami you will find us and also we now have a YouTube channel for Chat Tsunami so if you can't watch it or rather listen to it and anchor or Spotify type in Chat Tsunami onto YouTube and you'll find us there for episodes old and new and yeah I'm really excited about that because it took ages to
Speaker: upload all of the episodes but you know what it was worth it. It was absolutely yes so they're all in one place they're all organized very neatly very neatly into nice playlists so yeah go check it out if you haven't already so yeah thank you Adam once again so much for joining in and
Speaker: yeah as always guys stay safe stay awesome and if somebody leaves an egg on your doorstep close the door call the police and yeah just don't touch that egg yeah and stay hydrated bye guys bye
