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Episode 251: Competing and Mental Health
111 Plays4 days ago
Hello, Podwalkers, and welcome back to another episode of the Goblin Lore Podcast! Today we are joined by former guest Nathan (check out the aetherborn episode) to discuss competitive Magic and how to overcome tilt and guilt
We also finally have a Linktree with all of our discounts/resources
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As promised, we keep Mental Health Links available every episode. But For general Mental Health the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has great resources for people struggling with mental health concerns as well as their families. We also want to draw attention to this article on stigma from NAMI's site.
If you’re thinking about suicide or just need someone to talk to right now, you can get support from any of the resources below.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
- Veteran's can Press 1 at anytime to be taken to the Veteran's Line
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741-741
- International suicide hotlines: A comprehensive resource list for people outside the US.
- IMAlive: Click Chat Now to access a live online network of volunteers through instant messaging.
- TrevorLifeline, TrevorChat, and TrevorText (LGBTQ+ crisis support): 1-866-488-7386, or text “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200
- Trans Lifeline (US): (877) 565-8860
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Opening and closing music by Wintergatan (@wintergatan). Logo art by Steven Raffael (@SteveRaffle)
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Mental Health in Competitive Magic
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are
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are are
00:00:29
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Hello, Podwalkers, and welcome to another episode of the Goblin Lore Podcast. We have our first mental health episode in quite a while, actually. It really is a focused topic. So we had talked a little bit about you know post-election, post-inauguration, really wanting to be a lot more mindful and thoughtful about the content and just figuring out ways that we can recommit to bringing some of those topics that we feel are very important.
00:00:55
Speaker
and tying it to magic as as relevant. So this episode has actually been planned for many months. And as things happen and life happens, we kept having to delay it. And so we're finally getting to record with a returning guest, Nathan, who was previously on here to talk about the Aetherborn. It's kind of fitting that you're back right now, actually, given that we just kind of left Aetherdrift.
Favorite Competitive Deck Memories
00:01:19
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We didn't get enough Aetherborn in Aetherdrift for my liking. No, was kind of disappointing. yeah tend to agree. Yeah, I mean, we got Gonti, the night minister, and that's a about it.
00:01:32
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ah But anyway, we're going to be talking tonight about competitive magic and the effects that that can have on our mental health and ways that we deal with that.
00:01:42
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So my name is Hobbs Q. My pronouns are he, him. I can be found on Blue Sky under Hobbs Q in most places on the internet. And the question to start us off for today is what is your favorite competitive deck that you remember playing.
00:01:58
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And mine is going to be one that's going to be relevant probably coming up because it's it's the only time I've ever day twoed GP. And that was playing the Epic Storm. The reason I love this deck is I i started Magic really around 2002. My first FNMs were Mirrodin block era.
00:02:17
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And I was playing Storm because I loved the idea of Brain Freeze. And that card was still legal and standard. And he had all these zero casting cost artifacts and you could retract and bring them back your hand. And from there, I just developed a love of storm.
00:02:30
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And the reason it's the epic storm and specifically the version that I was able to play at ah GP Vegas to 2017. Yeah, right before I got married is because Jitaxian Probe wasn't banned yet. And that is just an absolutely amazing magic card.
00:02:49
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Yeah, i miss it It was in my ah show and tell deck too. Yeah. I mean, yeah just sometimes you just want to see your opponent's hand, right? Is there anything wrong with that? And draw a card? For the low, low cost of two life.
00:03:02
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I came from Yukio, and I'm going to be so honest. like I was learning modern, and the person that was teaching me modern at the time like showed me like Infect and stuff. And I looked at the card Gitaxian problem, and I was like, oh, okay, so this is a four of in every deck, right? And he was like, no, the two life matters. Life matters more in Magic than in Yukio. And I was like, okay, but this also gives you information. like Yeah.
00:03:27
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Yeah. yeah
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And he was like, no, not really. And then like cut to like three months later, and like two, three months later, it was bad. And I bought now. like it was right before that whole thing where everyone realized, oh, we should be running four of them.
00:03:43
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Yeah. Yep. yep I mean, it you know, and then Legacy got it for a little bit longer, and then it was yeah like, oh, yeah, this is a problem. Yeah, that card should not have been printed. Like, ah holy, that card should not have been printed. That is one of the cards, like, especially coming from Yu-Ki-Oh, because, like, ever every card, like, because Yu-Ki-Oh is just a, every deck's a combo deck, right? So, like, you know, like, Upstart Goblin is a card that's, like, three of in every deck that, like, you would find, right? Like, and Get Probe is just kind of a bit better than that, like...
00:04:15
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Yeah, it is. So, well, Nathan, since you're talking, do you want to introduce yourself? Yeah, sure, absolutely. So, my name
Mental Health Challenges in Competitive Magic
00:04:24
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is Nathan. um You can find me on Blue Sky at Powerful Panda.
00:04:29
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I don't really post very much, but I do exist there. um am my favorite competitive deck... ah I think I've got a soft spot for Infect because that's what I learned, but I have to go with the Dimir Lurus list that I played at Eternal Weekend. I have so many good memories tied to that tournament that weekend and and performing, i think, pretty well in my eyes um that I but think I have to go with that one.
00:05:02
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Cool. Thanks. Well, I'm Taya. Taya transcends on blue sky pronouns. Are she, her, are they, them? And ah I used to play a lot of standard and um I would play a variety of decks, but often they were...
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um You know, tier 1.5 decks like, ah you know, during the Innistrad Ravnica block when Bant Hexproof was the most popular deck. I was playing Jeskai Hexproof to get Goros Charm to deal with board wipes.
00:05:34
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Yep. um But my favorite competitive deck of all time is Aetherworks Marvel from the in estrade Return of Innistrad series. kaladesh block that uh period that deck was so much fun it's exactly the kind of jank i want to be doing it had a big random element to it so it wasn't as deterministic as most competitive decks are but ah car that that deck they they banned like three cards from it before they finally killed the deck uh sometimes it takes that right yeah you just need to ban one more card
00:06:06
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But I love playing that deck. getting Getting Eldrazi Titans out as early as turn four in standard was just exactly what I want to be doing. Because when I played Legacy, I liked doing that on turn one. And standard getting them out on turn four is about the best you can hope for. Right, like, that's a good compromise. It is, it is. Yeah.
00:06:27
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I, uh, yeah, I've been playing some more legacy lately. And i think that my favorite thing about the sneak at show list is, uh, is just like how you could just be like, Oh shoot, here's an Emrakul, right? Like, yeah.
00:06:38
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Yeah. Yeah. I always love playing that deck. Um, either drop an Emrakul or Grizzle Brand on turn one and then just take it from there. Like, whoops. yeah Well, so, Nathan, you approached us, well, me, I mean, in particular, about kind of this idea for for this episode. So do you want to kind of talk a little bit about, you know, what that initial, you know? Yeah, absolutely.
00:07:04
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um So I came to you because I was feeling great after A Turtle Weekend. And um I, for the record and everyone at home, got 21st in the vintage event. There was about a little bit over 400 people that played. Congrats.
00:07:21
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Yeah, i was... Yeah, I did not prepare well enough, so I was very proud with my result. um And I actually had a bit of a situation that happened during the tournament. I had a deck registration error. i ah in my folly and tiredness of the night before, ah put a Mox Opal into my deck instead of a Mox Sapphire um into my Mox field list and registered that.
00:07:48
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um And that was actually the my second loss match loss of the day was for that round. And I kind of had a bit of a moment where like I was like, okay,
00:08:00
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So I've got, i've got ah I won game one ah game. So the, well, technically game one went to my opponent because of the deck reg era. I won game two, which was our game one. And then there was next game, and I got so into my head that I kind of just threw it. i Looking back on the game, I was able to be like, I could see a couple of places here and there where I went and I played this wrong.
00:08:24
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um I was playing too defensively, and I didn't look for aggressive times to like slip my spells in. um And just overall was was lacking some confidence in and my play.
00:08:37
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and um You know, losing that meant that I was knocked out of top eight. So once I lost that match, I knew, okay, I'm not getting into top eight.
00:08:47
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And I had to kind of go and recenter myself and, you know, do some do some self-care and, like, get everything out of my head so that I could, you know, lock it and go on and try to win the rest of my rounds so that I could get into that top 32. Because ah for for anyone who doesn't how Eternal Weekend structure works, or at least worked last year, is that...
00:09:12
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um They have non-foil promo cards and foil promo cards that you can get for winning the tournaments. So the non-foil cards are passed out to the top 32, and the foils are passed out to the top 8, and there's only, I believe, 3 Eternal Weekend events. So ah the top 32 cards, there's only like 96 of them in the world.
00:09:36
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Um, and the top eight cards, there's only 24. So, like, getting top 32 is still, like, hard, impressive, and the promo for this last year was Tinker, and I was just like, you want to know what? It would be cool to get this Tinker. it would be cool to, like, earn this kind of rare card and, like, have this in my collection. I think this would be fun.
00:09:55
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So i was like, okay, well, I'm out of top eight. How do I do that? And... I managed to do that. I managed to recenter. I managed to win the rest of my matches. um And I was like, oh, you know, um i cannot say that I have been keeping up with the Goblin Lord podcast. I have been very busy, so I apologize.
00:10:12
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But I was like, know what is? That's We haven't been keeping up with it either, so it's fine That's fair. That's fair. It has taken us a while. This did happen in no like November or whatever. so That's fair. Yeah.
00:10:24
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But I was like, yeah I, you know, have obviously been a guest on this show and Hobbs and talk a bit, you know, outside of... Not really necessarily magic content, but outside of, like, podcast content. Yeah, yeah. and Outside of just normal channels. Yeah, I consider you somewhat a friend. like you know appreciate that.
00:10:43
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um I don't know you super well, but, like, I consider, you know, like, a little bit of a friend, right? So I was like, you want to know what this... I think this would be a cool topic. um You know, Hobbes psychologist. I have most of a psych degree.
00:10:55
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And... and I was like, you are not. I know someone that loves to talk mental health and magic, and i know that y'all generally talk more about the casual side of things, but also tournament magic is important, and there's a lot of people that want to get into that, and there's a lot of mental energy and effort and work that goes into that. um So I approached Hobbs and was like, hey, here's an idea for an episode, and you know he said yes, and then now we're here.
Coping with Tournament Stress and Exhaustion
00:11:22
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Yeah. And now we're here, as you said, a little bit removed from the actual eternal weekend. And i and actually, I'm interested in that thinking kind of that, um you know, now that it's been some time, how that kind of has been for processing.
00:11:36
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But when you first approached me, you know, one of the reasons that that that it was to me, it's even as you said, maybe being a little bit more on on the casual side of things, I have played competitively and I i come from a background of competitive running.
00:11:51
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So I come from a background of um You know, running even at the collegiate level, it was division three, but that still was something that was basically most of my college life. ah You know, I spent literally hours a day at the gym. I spent all this time.
00:12:12
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working out. And, um, one of the things that it's about that is like most of my friend group that meant most of my friend group was all runners. Most of the people that I hung out with with all runners, I think you all can kind of probably hear how some of this seems very similar to the magic world.
00:12:29
Speaker
Um, that that there is a lot of it that is just based on kind of having that, that, that shared interest, but also that shared experience and spending all that time. And I know from my experience with that, when somebody was injured, um when somebody wasn't able to necessarily do what they wanted to do, or at the level that they wanted to do it, the impact that that had on their mental health.
00:12:53
Speaker
And, and you know hearing about competitive magic, one of things I think I hear or think of a lot of is people talking about really that that experience with just even trying to play ah a tournament, right? Like even just trying to play a tournament without um burning out, ah being able to make it through that many rounds in a day. Like yeah I kind of think about it if you haven't,
00:13:24
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um Anybody, if you've never played something that's like eight, nine rounds in a single day, just how draining that can be. And as you said, something is easy or not, not as easy, but something that can happen like a desk registration error.
00:13:38
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Like obviously you probably want to play a max, a mock Sapphire if you're playing vintage. Oh yeah, absolutely yeah like you know absolutely. I'm not saying mox Opal isn't good. you i don't know. I mean, it's fine in modern now. It's unbanned in modern. It's kind of a chump card think about it, okay. From a power level perspective, right? Like, I don't know.
00:13:59
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uh yeah you know it's falling off a bit it is true it but you know so it's and it's not like opal isn't good in vintage and oh yeah yeah definitely can be like in turn index definitely is good yes but once again that's not what we're talking here yeah absolutely so yeah i mean it's it's a huge deal i think to kind of to talk about it. I think it's important to talk about, right?
00:14:24
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Like, how do you prepare for events? Uh, what do you do if something like that happens? Um, because I think that it is something that people want to, to go and try. ah yeah, I think tournament magic is really daunting yeah for a lot of people. Like yeah I run and manage an LGS, um, here in Northern Virginia. And like,
00:14:46
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Northern Virginia is a kind of a little bit of a cutthroat place for magic. Like everyone is very nice, but also like there are a lot of people that are very good. Yes.
00:14:57
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Having lived there, I, I, I definitely, Yeah. I agree with that. Oh, no, absolutely. So, like, it's something where um I and and even if you are living in an area where, um you know, there there is not as many like high, like high tier competitors, like um it's still like a really daunting thing to get into. I mean, there's.
00:15:26
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There's a lot of different levels, right? And, like, the rabbit hole goes as deep as you want it to, right? Like, if if you really want to dedicate all of your time to magic, like, you can. Like, there's enough cards, there's enough context, there's enough debt like depth there to do that.
00:15:41
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um But also, like, I don't honestly necessarily think that's actually very productive if you're wanting to get into magic, like, competitively. I, like, think that you need some time away from the game to, like, you know, I've seen people, like,
00:15:54
Speaker
Heavy, really hard engage in the game. And I mean, I've heavily, really hard engaged in the game and just got gone and burned out and played worse. and like ah Eternal Weekend was the first time that I played in a really like a big competitive event. like More than 100 people competitive event.
00:16:10
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um and And honestly, like, I did a little bit of practicing with my fiance. She really likes vintage. um I don't think that she's necessarily the best vintage player, and I don't think she would disagree with that that statement.
00:16:23
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um I've been playing Magic for, you know, ah ah decade or more than her than, you know, she has. So um I've got a little bit more, like, generalized experience and also a little bit more, like,
00:16:38
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and experience with the format as well, but um we we we played, like, some, a couple of testing rounds, like, talked a little bit about heuristics, and, like, I'm gonna be honest with you, this was, like, ah the week before we left.
00:16:52
Speaker
I don't think I registered for the vintage event until, like, the Monday before the tournament, because, like, I was just waffling on, like, yeah do i need to do Am I going to be able to get all the pieces? i think it might have been the Sunday, because I think Sunday is when I went online and I like looked at what my shop had in stock and looked at what I could order to pick up from the vendors there.
00:17:11
Speaker
um I had to to sort through our literal hundreds of thousands of bulk uh stacks to find a random mirage card for my sideboard so truly the magic experience um i found that in like less than 10 minutes i was very
Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Pressure
00:17:26
Speaker
impressed with myself actually ah i i just like like it was like just doing some looking okay like is this the right age of cards that we're looking for like how are these sorted like do i know what's in this box roughly and like made some guesstimations and got a little bit lucky but i digress um
00:17:43
Speaker
um And, like, i so I didn't really commit to this tournament until, like, the Sunday before. um part Part of the reason why I had that deck reg error is because I copied my list from an MTG Goldfish list that was, like, the top-performing Tamir Luris deck, and I looked at the list, and I was like, own most of these cards. Like, I need some Psychic Frogs, I need some random...
00:18:05
Speaker
cards. the The two big ones were Tabernacles, and I was just like, I don't... Let me you reach out to my, you know, five closest friends that own Tabernacles and and see where that gets me. um And, um yeah, so so, like, I... All this to say that, like, I did fairly well at the event, and, like,
00:18:23
Speaker
You know, kind of took a little bit more of a laissez-faire laid back approach to it. um You know, I talked about sideboarding. I think there was like, like, thing that I can point to that I think was like the most useful was on the drive up, my fiance and I are obviously were driving together and we just talked about sideboarding. cards. like We had like ah like an hour or so where we just like talked about where where she just named a deck. And she was like, okay, what goes in, what goes out? And would just sit there and think, okay, what are the cards on my sideboard? What are the cards on my main board? What do I want to come in? What do I want to go out?
00:18:54
Speaker
And this kind of ended up having two two things, where one, it made me a lot more intimately familiar with the cards in my main and sideboards. So like I you know did this down on tournament day being like, okay, what are my outs? How many of these do I run? Whatever, right? like I knew, okay, my deck list is this.
00:19:09
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um And just because I was trying to promote the memory. And then two, it also gave me a side, a ah plan for sideboarding. So like I, you know, would play against a matchup and I would already know in game one, okay, these are the cards I want to bring in. These are the cards that I want to take out.
00:19:23
Speaker
um You know, she and I would discuss a couple of choices like, okay, is this really better than this? Like, is this good in this matchup? Well, not really, but like this card that's in my main board is worse. So like, I think this is where we do the swap, right?
00:19:34
Speaker
Yeah. um And I think that that was like but like, like I said, that was like an hour. i think the most useful prep that I had was like an hour of like casual car talk with my fiance, like riding up. um All this to say, like, you can go really deep into competitive magic, but you could also have fun with it and still do fairly well. You know, like you can you can still like take a bit of a laid back approach. And like, i think results may vary for both, but I don't think it has to be this intimidating thing, even though it can be, right?
00:20:04
Speaker
And, you know, so, yeah, and I'm i'm kind of wondering with that how – I'm thinking, like you were kind of saying, with – the the the preparation for it not necessarily being huge. Like, you made this decision to go and play at, as you said, one of the biggest events you'd played in, one of the largest... By far the largest event I played in. Yeah, and by far the largest... And from a perspective of, like, a very large... um For vintage, like i mean that's also something else that's very yeah true, right? Like, this is also something that is a fact. So...
00:20:42
Speaker
so um yeah i'm just kind of curious how that how that was for you um and then making it i was thinking about the fact of just even making it through that like day um like just for how long i think of with when it goes with you know the magic being played the number of rounds being played and so yeah Yeah, if you want to know something that's kind of actually a little bit funny, and it definitely goes to to the to the mental health theme to to get this back on track, but um actually, i I think one of the main reasons that I didn't want to go, and that I was debating whether or not I was going to participate in the tournament or not, was honestly, I was kind of scared. i was like, look, I have not played competitive Magic in a while.
00:21:28
Speaker
um i think that I am a fairly decent Magic the Gathering player. um You know, I don't think I'm amazing. I don't think I'm like the best or like, I don't, I don't, you know, maybe maybe I could be a top contender if I poured my heart and soul 24 seven into the game for the next year. Right. But like, that's not realistic ah for like where I am in my life. Right. But I was kind of sitting here like, look, what happens if I participate in this vintage event?
00:21:58
Speaker
And i I just like 0.3 drop. like How is that going to mentally feel? like i I used to play modern fairly competitively, um and the Horizon sets have kind of changed a lot of things in the modern landscape and you in such a way that was not very fun for me, so I don't play that anymore.
00:22:18
Speaker
um I... um yeah so I i just kind of had a bit of a thought of like... what what happens if I just throw three here? Like, I had to ask myself, like, am I mentally okay showing up with this deck that I think is good and playing in this termite semi-seriously and failing?
00:22:43
Speaker
um Like, can I actually hand, like, can i is that going to be too big of a blow to my ego? And I know this sounds very silly and like maybe a little whatever, but like, it's a serious thought, right? Like,
00:22:55
Speaker
it's It is a ah thing of like, you know, am i am I going to just feel miserable if I owe three? Like, is that worth the risk, right?
00:23:06
Speaker
And I ultimately decided, you want to know what? i I think I need to get out of my head about this. If I owe three, that's fine. And I'm just going to be here to have fun and play vintage because vintage is a very fun format that, you know, you don't often get the chance to play in paper, right?
00:23:20
Speaker
Right. Right. I mean, yeah. I, in fact, have never played it in paper. Yeah. ah Proxy up some decks. Anyone that's willing to play vintage is willing to play with proxies. I happen to own a set of power because I sold everything that I had related to magic.
00:23:39
Speaker
like a couple years ago and I work at a shop so like being in that position you know we we literally had someone that randomly came in with a full set of power I've i've had someone randomly hit me up with a lotus like i'm I'm able to like access these things a little bit easier not not a lot it but like a little bit especially because of like how long I've been playing the game right so like But, um you know, if anyone that wants to play vintage, proxy up a deck. Like, people are, people, it's a very fun format, and people are super open to that.
00:24:08
Speaker
So, you you kind of brought up, you know, or sorry, you. ah But by you, I mean myself, actually. Yeah, absolutely. At the top of this episode, kind of brought up the um the fact that we, like I said, that, you know, my favorite deck was um playing Storm. And I said, you know, it kind of factors into something. So, I i wanted to share a little bit because,
00:24:30
Speaker
We're talking about different elements of what can be involved with either... ah i used to have a bad issue with Tilt. Actually, playing Storm helped me because I would get really annoyed when I used to play a lot of ah Magic Online. If people ever know my feud with Magic Online... um the Your ongoing feud. My ongoing feud. I have my mug here that says get good Hobbs. Well, the fact of the matter is I have been playing on um MTGO from about 2003, 2004.
00:24:58
Speaker
So I used to do a lot of drafting on there. I used to play a lot of um I played Legacy on there back in the day because it was much cheaper than trying to play Legacy in paper. and one of the things was is I'm somebody that struggled with Tilt. you know I would struggle with the fact that I would know the the amount of the number of outs that my opponent had to draw, right? You know, so I would remember every top deck that I lost to. I would remember. Yeah.
00:25:22
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, you're like, you know, I, I, I definitely was somebody that struggled with that and, and tilt is something that I've had to work on in just in game gaming areas in my life in general. i mean, casually I would get upset by, you know, people, people making what I consider to be poor plays. And so playing storm actually helped me a little bit to overcome some of that.
00:25:44
Speaker
So you know I had a lot of experience with Storm. I had a lot of experience playing. And I have played in um played in a number of GPs. Actually, it's really funny. But basically, i played in every GP Vegas to start with. So in in all the initial GP Vegases, um i played in all of I played in the first three or four of them. And one of the things I had always wanted to do was to day two.
00:26:12
Speaker
i started... My first ever GP Vegas 5-0 playing um Modern Masters 1 Limited. I had an absolutely cracked deck. I lost double winning in because back in the day, you had to be 7-2 to make day 3 versus which they it later. ended i ended up at six and three a couple of years later i lost my first two rounds same sort of a situation and and like this these things happen to me when playing um and i i kind of still had this goal and i really wasn't able to play as much when i moved to minneapolis i was able to get a legacy deck and paper i knew that i was going to be going for the legacy gp and this is where i i was able to be like great i can afford i had the deck um
00:27:02
Speaker
And I did have it on MTGO still. So i was able to make some things. This was the most prep I have ever done for an event. I really, really wanted to knowing that, you know, I was getting ready to get married. I wasn't going to be playing magic as much as I used to.
00:27:17
Speaker
I really never got to, I never went down kind of that, grinding or playing a lot of um events and so this was a big deal to me uh i love legacy legacy is is probably my favorite format in in that and part of that was because i a deck like storm was actually something that i could basically i could goldfish my plate in paper so i could sit in my apartment and i could just run through the deck you know i could just uh
00:27:48
Speaker
look at hands. I could just know good mulliganing. I had a sideboard guide. i Those were things that I could understand and look at. And then I was able to grind a lot of games on MTGO.
00:27:59
Speaker
And i I made day two. um I made it by going seven and two, which actually felt really good to me. um ah My couple of losses, I think both of my losses, I went to game three on day one. i i was playing super well.
00:28:14
Speaker
I was not expecting to. And I think this is something that I didn't realize how exhausted I would be kind of at the end of that first game. day a play. Oh yeah, especially with with multiple game threes. Game threes can really yes extend the amount of time you're playing. Yes, I mean, it can, right? and ah you know it's I still think my favorite ever was... i went to the the The best one of going to game three, though, was the the ah final round of day one.
00:28:43
Speaker
I went to game three versus... ah versus ah Goblin Charbelcher deck. So it was me versus Charbelcher.
Building Mental Resilience in Competitions
00:28:53
Speaker
And we went to game three.
00:28:55
Speaker
And midway like into game three, i just remember, or might have even been game two, I don't actually remember, but one of the games, I apologized to my opponent because I had to think about my like what play I wanted to make.
00:29:08
Speaker
And he was like, we're not going to time. i don't think we need to worry about this. like He's like... We'd already both made day two, but it was just funny because he was like, we're not going to time. I'm like, oh yeah okay, fair point.
00:29:21
Speaker
i've I also am i'm currently playing a Storm and Legacy. I'm i'm playing more of an a classic ant build because that's just what i yeah the cards that I own. yeah But I super feel that because I'll be playing against like someone. I'll be like, okay, give me give me a second here. And he's like, okay, look, you either kill me this turn or you don't. like but Take five seconds to determine whether that happens. you know Yep.
00:29:44
Speaker
Yep. um So yeah, so it was just really ah like, it was a great day one. i was running high. um Just like, I was so excited. i um was not expected to at all. I was supposed to chaos draft that night for kind of like a mini bachelor party, but I never thought I would make day two and a good record, good breakers. And so I ended up not going out and doing anything. I focused on the fact that I was going to go play in day two game round one.
00:30:14
Speaker
went fine. Uh, I got trapped by a blood moon game one when I couldn't get a basic Island. Uh, game two went well. They had Trinisphere on game three. So I won game two game three. I had a turn one win. As long as my opponent on the play couldn't drop a turn one, uh, Trinisphere, they dropped a turn one Trinisphere.
00:30:33
Speaker
So, you know, i was a little bummed, but I went into round 11, just kind of excited still. Um, and this is where I realized it will what what what ended up happening.
00:30:45
Speaker
And this was the reason that I actually wrote a tournament report. Like the only one I've ever written was, um, I was playing against black red reanimator. And I, and you know, one of the things was they, they had like the chancellor of the annex. They had, um you know, they're playing,
00:31:02
Speaker
um Wow, Iona, when that was the big thing, right? Like ah my opponent played Iona in in game three. And I realized they they they named blue. I was hoping they were going to name one of my more to my action spells or might might mean my action kind of cards, but they named the one that actually was cutting me off because I did have the sideboarded echoing truth to be able to bounce it to their hand at some point when I was hoping to go off. Right.
00:31:31
Speaker
um And so because of that, I had to think of what lines I had in only red, black and I had the line. i realized that I was kind of... Had not, during the entire tournament, actually...
00:31:48
Speaker
used the past in flames that running in the sideboard. um So I had a wish board. So I'm running burning wishes. That's one of the differences between the typical epic storm versus ad nauseum tendrils, especially in that era.
00:32:00
Speaker
Was your definitely in that era. not Now I think it's reversed. Ant runs burning wish more often than, ok than, than tests, but that's kind of funny. Yeah. yeah so funny But in that era, that was not right. Like that was not a the way that it was. It was very much the, yeah, like the, it was a very much a sideboard deck. Um,
00:32:17
Speaker
um And so I reach for my sideboard. I see the past in flames that I had not cast there the entire tournament and realize that with casting past in flames,
00:32:29
Speaker
I had the line to win because I had rituals in my graveyard and I could just burning wish to get the tendrils of agony for the win. You just can storm them. You can storm them. You can do the thing. can do the thing.
00:32:42
Speaker
i I, and I have the perfect storm count by this way because my other line had been originally, I was going to have to get an ad nauseum at a low life total and pray. Right. Like just, yeah, that's like, that was the line. Those are always the rough ones. Yeah. Right. Like I can do this and feels pretty bad.
00:33:02
Speaker
Neither my opponent nor realized something. And this is where I realized that all, well, I realized about 20 minutes after the round. that my prep being on MTGO, which does not let you cheat ah um or misplay as as I did, ah was that Burning Wish exiles itself when you cast it. um But both my opponent nor my neither my opponent nor I noticed this.
00:33:29
Speaker
My opponent decided to drop after that round. um no Nobody at tables near us. Nobody saw this error, right? And it's an error that I had never... made or been able to make while testing because I was playing completely ah on Magic Online, which does the actions for you.
00:33:49
Speaker
And the action would have just automatically exiled it, and I didn't think about it. I was horrified. I was explaining my round to a friend. i was all excited. i was like, great. I've, I've lost the first one.
00:34:01
Speaker
And my friend's like, wait a second. How did you cast that Bernie wish? Did you have a second copy? And I was like, no, it was in my graveyard. He's like, why was it in your graveyard? yup Um, that's a fantastic question.
00:34:13
Speaker
And i I jumped up. I told, I went and Found a judge. And I had this really, you know, like, i I actually am always the person who's like, you should call a judge. And unfortunately, though, it was awkward, because my judges, the judges first question to me was, why do you think you did this?
00:34:28
Speaker
And I was like, ah what, what, like, I mean, it was not something that I was really, prepared for. um Yeah. but Like all of a sudden that, that guilt, because I am a ah person with very high anxiety and a history of depression and ah guilt is one of my main things that happens to me.
00:34:48
Speaker
And so when it, as soon as the judge said that, like my, my, my lizard brain kicked in.
Conclusion and Future Topics
00:34:54
Speaker
um he, the, the, they basically said, you know, there's really nothing that we can do about it. Neither you or your opponent.
00:35:04
Speaker
Noticed it like there's nothing that can really be done. They would mark it down to make sure that you know, in case something happened again or the person came back and I played two more rounds, but I I i really was not playing well. I kept poor hands.
00:35:22
Speaker
I started mulligain. poorly. I lost the next two rounds and this was kind of a, you know, it was just, I, I felt the wheels come off as soon as I made a mistake that neither me nor my opponent noticed, but it, it, it really made it where I, I couldn't continue.
00:35:43
Speaker
Um, I mean, I, I, I kept attempting to play and it was obviously not a good, like I, I couldn't recover from it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. and It's it's it hard.
00:35:55
Speaker
Like, um realizing that you make that mistake, and and also especially, like, realizing you made a mistake in in a way that may have ended someone else's tournament journey, right?
00:36:06
Speaker
Yeah. um Yeah, when they said, they're like, yeah, you know what? Like, i mean, I think we both kind of in a spot where it was kind of like the loser that was probably going to drop, but that, you know, it kind of made that decision for them, but right? Yeah, absolutely.
00:36:20
Speaker
and you know what I will say, the hard thing for me is you know i even if it's a quote-unquote innocent mistake, it's not one that I like to make. ah Absolutely. I don't like to make mistakes.
00:36:32
Speaker
ah That is another part of me. I don't like making mistakes. and so Yeah. um I think as soon as you told me kind of about your deck registration error, that was the first thing, right? My lizard brain.
00:36:45
Speaker
but And I told you, right? that This was 2017. You and I had this conversation in 2024. My brain immediately... I can still think of times in commander games where I misplayed because I forgot what a card does or forgot that it exiles itself or something. And like that won me the game. And I'm like, oh, I feel bad because I want a commander game with no stakes whatsoever.
00:37:07
Speaker
Right. and And I'm like, well, I did that because of a play uh a misplay yes but i shouldn't have won that game no i shouldn't have yeah yeah oh yeah i've i've definitely had that i mean i think everyone has those experiences and i think that most people feel pretty guilty about them i mean i know i've had a couple um i can't think of any like examples off the top of my head or of of any but like i know that whenever i've had a game where i come back and like I go back like a few days later, I'm like, hey, by the way, and think you should have won this game.
00:37:39
Speaker
The zero stakes commander game. I think you should have won this. I've done the same thing. i think The last time it really occurred to me was um I had an absolutely ridiculous turn with my Rakdos deck that started off of Sunbird's Invocation, but it started off of me playing my commander, which Sunbird's Invocation specifies from hand. And nobody missed that. I triggered it off of my commander. Yup.
00:38:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And then I totally went off that turn. And then I'm just like the next day, I'm like, well, I really screwed that up, didn't i Right. you Yeah.
00:38:14
Speaker
And it's like that that. These are things that have absolutely haunted me completely yeah from from from playing magic. And and just as you said, yeah i I'm somebody who gets off of stream. And when I win, i feel guilty.
00:38:29
Speaker
Right. And you win a lot, Hobbs. Except for Magic for Magic Online. I mean, if we want to be honest here, Hobbs doesn't tend to sleep after playing on stream for many hours.
00:38:45
Speaker
but um I mean, tonight I probably won't sleep because we're talking about this and I'll remember a game where I told Sheldon Mennery five years ago, my deck never does this thing, don't worry, and then it did it, right? You know, like...
00:39:00
Speaker
I can still recall this happening. like So, ah what what would i this but i was today what i was what I was trying to get a ah job ah at the at the store that I now manage, um I was like, okay, I should meet the owner. The owner plays commander here on these nights.
00:39:18
Speaker
You want to let me hop into a game with him? And i remember, so she was this the owner very new to magic at this point, and he was playing Feldergriff, and he played... um
00:39:30
Speaker
Solemnity, right? or Or Decree of Silence. One of the two, right? Or both. No, no, no. He played one of the two. and then then one of i think he played Solemnity. okay And then one of the players at the table asked him, like, oh, you don't write Decree of Silence, do you? And he's like, what card is that?
00:39:46
Speaker
They're like, oh, well, it creates a lock. like You can't cast spell. He's like, no, I don't think I do. And then, like, two, three turns later, Decree of And then, like, this other guy's just like what i just asked and he's like oh shoot i'm sorry i didn't know what card you were talking about yeah course i run these two together they're a great combo you know then i looked at him was like you know what i don't know if you win this we can't cast spells but like i've got a board state you know um he did end up winning that game but i i did have a i did have ah a bit of a recollection of of that that was one of my my first commander games that i i played with it with it which was very funny
00:40:26
Speaker
but like But like, so like these, that that this whole concept of, um I think it is, you mentioned, right too. If you if people don't know, like that the, that, that legacy GP had, ah I mean, it was, it was one of the largest events ah that has ever happened for legacy. I think it was easily, it was at least 1500 people. It could have been more. Oh yeah. um You're playing nine rounds of magic in day one.
00:40:52
Speaker
Yep. Yeah. i I am not the person built for that, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, especially towards the end of the round. i am I'm missing Mishra's bobble triggers, like, left and right towards the end of the day.
00:41:08
Speaker
um i think I literally had a but it had a little bit of a moment where I was where i was played against someone, and it's the fighter, and it was, like, towards the end of the round. final rounds right and was like oh wait i think i have a bobble trigger and like he don't like already started his turn he's like ah you missed that and i think that i just turned to i was like a little bit annoyed because i like dude come on think i just turned to him and i said it's okay i think i kill you anyways think i untapped and then just swung at him like killed him in like two three turns which was a little bit funny oh it's maybe a little bit rude but also i had to do in that moment to keep my composure you know it's just like
00:41:43
Speaker
yeah I cannot get in on myself about missing the stupid bobble trigger because I am still in a winning position and I still got to have to win. um like because Because I think that you mentioned this a little bit, but that...
00:41:55
Speaker
that um ah from From when we talked about it, that moment of having that realization and talking to the judge and like having that conversation really psyched you out and kind of set you up for failure for your following rounds. It did for me.
00:42:10
Speaker
Yeah. And that's why i wanted to talk about kind of the differences between you know what my mind did and you know I think of it as resiliency or just just how you were able to respond. To cope with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I i initially... So, but basically, because, like like I said, i one of my main things about entering this tournament, and one of the main reasons I didn't want to enter this tournament was was that mental thing health thing of, like, am I going to put too much of my self-worth in how I do in this tournament? And if I perform badly, what will that make me think about myself, right? Like, do I want to know how far I can go in this tournament?
00:42:46
Speaker
Yeah. Um, which again, I say, cause like a little silly, but like also as someone who has struggled with a lot of self-confidence things and a lot of self-image things and puts a lot of pride into their work and what they choose to do.
00:42:57
Speaker
um it's a reasonable question, right? And it's something that I ask myself a lot when I'm looking to challenge myself because I have to know that I am going to be okay with failure. Uh, so ultimately I decided you want to what?
00:43:10
Speaker
I'm okay with failure here. So I, I, I, I show up to the event, my, my fiance and I go, um, Friday night. or maybe it was Thursday night, Thursday night, because Friday, Friday night was the tournament. Yeah. So, so Thursday night we get there.
00:43:26
Speaker
I go into the hall, I pick up the cards that I needed to pick up. I pick up my non-foil psychic frogs and then immediately trade them to get foil psychic frogs to put into my deck, which I thought was a little funny.
00:43:39
Speaker
um But, you know, I had to guarantee that I had psychic frogs, but like, you know, I had to get the foil ones if I could. Yeah, um obviously. i think the funniest thing was is that I decided i was like getting kind of wishy-washy answers from ah the people that I knew that owned Tabernacles because they were like, oh, well, I might want to play in a Legacy side event. If I decide to play land, then like I might need this. So so like eventually I was kind of like, okay, so I could probably borrow one Tabernacle, but like technically my sideboard runs two. Yeah.
00:44:09
Speaker
So I was like, okay, well, what am I going to do about this? I end up going to one of the vendors. I actually find two Tabernacles that are like very reasonably priced. And I'm like, okay, fine. Let me let me break out my trade binder. let me let me like I brought this, like, that my last Ponies the Galloping box set that I've been holding on to.
00:44:28
Speaker
I had my signed Grimlock or whatever. yeah and I was like, you all know what? I'm not... I'm not making a ponies deck. Look, i I've been thinking about it for a while, but I've traded my other three sets of ponies away. I have this last one, and look, that that just doesn't be anymore. i i don't play i don't I don't play that kind of deck. I'm probably just like not going to build it. I think it'll be funny, but like whatever.
00:44:52
Speaker
So I trade those in. um my My grandmother had ah passed away about a year before, so I had a bit of money from some inheritance, that i was so I was able to put some money towards the tabernacle, but I also managed to get mostly, ah like yeah i managed to get a lot more in trade than I initially thought I was going to, so that was nice.
00:45:10
Speaker
I pick up two tabernacles. By the way, I didn't use them at all over the weekend. I didn't need them one bit. I scrounged together, like, you know, four grand worth of cards and cash just to not play a card. ah Yeah, um yeah why why would you need to?
00:45:25
Speaker
That's the classic vintage experience, right? Like, the The Tabernacles are there for the Dredge matchup because you have to respect the Dredge matchup. And if you pay the tax and you respect the Dredge matchup, then you don't... that It just doesn't show its face because it knows it's going to lose, right?
00:45:39
Speaker
um My fiancé eventually wants to build Squeevine, which is a Bazaar of Baghdad kind of style deck, which means that, like, I'm going to get use out of the Tabernacles eventually. But, um I mean, I still get use out of them when I play with on kitchen table stuff, but...
00:45:54
Speaker
anyways so um and and thursday was actually i will say i but but having my fiancee that was huge because my fiancee does play magic she was playing in the legacy main events but she wasn't playing in the vintage main event mostly because i decided to play in the vintage main event so like we only have one set of power between us so like i was like okay cool like i have the cards to play this i want to play this you're playing in the legacy one yeah yeah even in fair um Also, like, i i love my fiance. We've been together for, like, you know, five plus years. And also, like, I still don't know if I want to hand her my Lotus and let her out of my sight. You know? Yeah! like It's not even, like, I don't think that, like...
00:46:36
Speaker
it's not it's this is this is gonna sound funny it's not even like oh what if something happens to the card it's like what happens to our relationship if something happens yeah yeah i was gonna say like fully just like okay like the card gets stolen whatever like i'm gonna be annoyed but like how does our like how does our dynamic change because like like it does so anyways little bit of a funny aside um um But like I was beat after Thursday. I had to to come into work.
00:47:03
Speaker
i We had to go from work to the venue because um one of my employees that was also going to a Eternal Weekend initially said that they weren't going until Friday, so I had them scheduled Thursday morning. And then like a week later like a week before the event was like, oh, hey, by the way, no, I actually am going on Thursday. I cannot cover this shift. And I was like, okay, what?
00:47:23
Speaker
Um... Sure, fine. and then, so Jessica and I, my fiancé, covered the Thursday morning shift, and, like, a lot of plans were in flux. It was kind of stressful, and, like, whatever, right?
00:47:36
Speaker
um So then... ah We get to the event. We, you know, um go. i i get pick up the cards.
00:47:47
Speaker
And then my fiancée, she's a vegetarian, um but she was like, she kind of, she went to the hotel while I went to the to the event to, you know, pick up all my things. so um But she was like, okay, Nathan is beat. Like,
00:48:00
Speaker
This has been a bit of a rough drive. it like A lot of stressful things have been going on. um so she She actually looked for restaurants that found like a really cool nice steakhouse that like we went to ah that had some things that she was interested in but like also was nice. and She kind of did that was like, hey, let's go to this place. I think you'll really like this place. and I did. and like That was kind of a bit of a self-care moment that we did Thursday night that kind of helped reset, recenter me, got back to the hotel, we resleeved my deck, and then fell asleep.
00:48:28
Speaker
Yeah. i mean In some ways, it's almost like you're you're you're talking about like mindful approach to what was going on, right? like you were you know Even resleeving a deck. ah Mindfulness is the thing that I wish that I had had a little bit more of when I was in that position.
00:48:42
Speaker
um i just think it would have been very nice to me if that's something that I had been kind of... had at my disposal. I don't think I was practicing as much at that point in my just life. I just wasn't really, that wasn't as big of a ah practice as it is now. weren't as mindful about that.
00:49:01
Speaker
ah You know, thank you. Thank you. yeah I was mindless, some might even say. But no, yeah, I mean, I think that it is interesting to think about, right, like things that could have been beneficial to me. and Being able to, once I realized I made a mistake, um I still had probably five, ten minutes before the round.
00:49:21
Speaker
I wasn't doing as good a job seven years ago about being able to, you know, maybe re-sleeve a deck or do something just yeah to to, like, re-ground myself a little bit. yeah, absolutely. um I mean, obviously, it's something I still struggle with in terms of...
00:49:38
Speaker
you know, i mean, historically it's been something that I've struggled with. And so, yeah, it just makes me think about, right. Like, wow, what are these tools that I i could have been using? Yeah. Yeah. yeah No, definitely. And like, I think that that centering um of myself,
00:49:55
Speaker
the day before in preparation really helped because I was able to get a bit of sleep. um I have a bit of an issue where if I get excited about something, i will tend to, I've started to realize this is what's happening. And Eternal Weekend was one of the weekends in which I kind of figured out, oh, this is what's going on.
00:50:12
Speaker
Where like, I got excited for the Vintage of event and I fell asleep and I woke up after not having nearly as much sleep at like four or five in the morning and could not get back to sleep.
00:50:24
Speaker
um No matter what. So, like, I was like, okay, cool. If I cannot get back to sleep, what what are the things that I can do, right? Because, like, I'm a little bit panicking here, actually, like, a little bit leading into the tournament, because I'm like, okay, well, I don't really have that many expectations. I'm, you know, I've i've got an 0-3 drop, like, it's whatever, it's fine.
00:50:39
Speaker
But, like, I want to give it my all. Like, I don't want to be walketed. So, I, like, lay down. I actually go, I take a shower. Um, and just like full, like normally showers wake me up a little bit, but like I did just full take a shower.
00:50:50
Speaker
i lay down in the bed and and I just like, I try to get some shut eye. Like I try to just sit and relax and keep my eyes closed. Like even if I can't sleep, let me get a little bit of rest. Right. Something is better than nothing in this scenario.
00:51:02
Speaker
Um, but So I do that. I eventually am like, okay, I cannot rest anymore. and My mind's going to get uneasy. I watch some YouTube videos and like general, like low energy, like listicle content type deal. Like I, I, Wolfie VGC started getting recommended to me. So I started to watch his like top 10 worst mega evolutions type videos or like top 10, like ah best types. So it's like, I know enough about this to like, kind of be like cool and fun and interesting. Cause I used to play Pokemon competitively like a while ago.
00:51:33
Speaker
not like very competitively, but like casually competitively, you know? yeah um So I was like, okay, cool. And like, I went and I had breakfast. I, you know, I took my beds, I had breakfast and id I go to the event hall and I meet up with my friends. Cause I have some other friends that are playing in this vintage event.
00:51:50
Speaker
um You know, what one of our regular judges, one of my friends who's also an employee of the shop. um One of the people that was ah an owner at the shop at that point in time, i actually don't think that they were, that they participated in the ah vintage event. I think they were doing legacy, but they were around.
00:52:04
Speaker
So I also got to like talk and hang out with my community and like by the local players that like play around here and and chat with people. Right. um and And I think that that's actually very important. The ah the being able to like talk to people and and have your community and being able to kind of have your friends really helps you ground yourself and really helps you process things.
00:52:24
Speaker
ah So I play round one, I win. um I win pretty well. It's a very easy matchup for me. It's matchup I'm prepared for. It's a matchup that's in my favor, I win. um you know I talk to people, I see how they're doing, whatever, round two.
00:52:35
Speaker
I win another pretty easy matchup. it's It's the same matchup as round one. I know what I'm doing in it. I win. notice that I'm winning a lot of my games in threes. Actually, well this is an observation I have after my fourth game. But um my third game, I win.
00:52:50
Speaker
And I'm like, okay, shoot, well, I've won three now. ah Like... Yes. What am I doing? Yes. yeah ah you you You start going from the, oh, I'm going to owe three sushi to like, oh, i have a chance. maybe can actually win some rounds. Yeah. um And it's' it's very scary when you go from that moment of, in your head, I'm okay dropping from this tournament. I'm okay losing and being fine to like, oh, I'm 3-0.
00:53:18
Speaker
I'm in the winner's bracket. Yeah. am I going to take this down? Like, ah it's a bit premature, but like, I'm talking to all my friends and I'm talking to some of my friends who like, I consider better players than me.
00:53:30
Speaker
And they're like, yeah, like, you know, one, two, or I'm two, one, or like, I'm one, one, one. And I'm like, oh, out of my friend group that that's like playing here, i am like in the lead.
00:53:42
Speaker
I am ah the one with the best record here. oh, shoot, like, the pressure, right? So I kind of, like, take myself back, i like, calm myself down a little bit, i'm like, okay,
00:53:55
Speaker
It's fine. what We're not at the Winners yet. We we can't start letting like we cannot let this pressure him out. I walk around the convention hall. I talk to some of the artists.
00:54:06
Speaker
I talk to some of my friends. I you know look at the booths, see what's going on. And I just like try to keep myself engaged and not and thinking. I also think I go get some water at this point in time.
00:54:18
Speaker
I play my fourth round. My fourth round goes to three games and I lose in time on like the last turn in time. um I was probably going to concede the game anyways because I was a bit behind and like there's things about not wanting to get into the draw bracket because the draw bracket is like going to if if you get one draw in a tournament is significantly more likely you end up with more draws because you end up against other people that are getting draws and like the the play of the the like just the rate of play is like slower right um you know not not not to rag on anyone but like learning to play fast especially when I'm playing a control deck like it's important and
00:54:53
Speaker
And so anyway, so I lose. and I'm like, okay, the pressure's off a little bit, right? Like, I can't lose another one. But like, also like, you wonder what? I'm doing better than I expected. I'll be happy with this, right?
00:55:05
Speaker
I win my next round. ah It's a control mirror. It's very hard fought. I feel very good about my win. um I win my next round. And now I'm like, oh, shoot. um I'm 5-1.
00:55:18
Speaker
I have a chance to top eight. I get paired and I'm at table three.
00:55:24
Speaker
I'm like, oh, I am one of the top top contenders in this event. Like, I get the the people next to me go on to feature match, and I get deck checked because I might be going on to feature max next round. Like, I might have to play under these lights. I might have to play under these cameras.
00:55:41
Speaker
How am I going to deal with that? Like, How am I going to deal with making an obvious misplay? Because at this point, like I've realized, oh, okay. A lot of my games are going to three rounds that maybe shouldn't be. I'm playing a little bit disrespectfully of my opponents because i don't fully know the matchups because I don't have as much game experience as I quote unquote should have for this like tournament. Right.
00:56:03
Speaker
um So I spend at least one game out of every match figuring out what I can or cannot get away with. Right. Yeah. And also a lot of control games are one in three, right? Like, ah you know, I could, you know, if you win your first game, you might lose your second, but like lot a lot of control games are one in three.
00:56:21
Speaker
Um... And this is where this happens. So not only... So in this point in time, i it's very common in vintage tournaments, especially ah there is a big issue with a legacy or vintage tournament in Europe in which like there was someone that walked around in a judge um like uniform, asked for decks for deck checks, and just walked out of the event and stole them.
00:56:40
Speaker
um So it's very common practice to be like, okay, yeah, you can tech by Jack. I'm going to come and watch you. So you know we I go over and I sit down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, ah two things happen in this moment. One, I put my deck in in such a way that it, like, I try to, like, shove my deck back in the box, and because they're new sleeves, because I just resleeved the night before, ah like, they get a little bit jumbled in, like, a way that, like,
00:57:07
Speaker
is a dexterity error, but like could be viewed as like an issue. And like, I see the judge with this. I'm like, Oh shoot. Did I do this? And i and you're not supposed to say anything. Like you're not supposed to talk. The judges are not supposed to talk to you while they're doing the dexterity.
00:57:19
Speaker
i just like, Oh, but I was like, Oh shoot. Like, did I mess something up Like, did I mesh? Like, did I put this in wrong? ah Because like I think that some of my main board cards accidentally got into my sideboards and my sideboard got into main board.
00:57:31
Speaker
They were all facing the like correct direction. like They were facing different directions. So it was still clear what was in my main and what was in my side. ah But I think they got mushed together while I was like rushing to like try to get over to the deck check.
00:57:43
Speaker
And... this is where my mock Sapphire is pulled aside. So I think that the judges are talking about this and I'm like, oh God, do am I going to a game loss or some sort of stupid punishment because my deck was like put in incorrectly.
00:57:58
Speaker
ah Then the judge comes up and he's like, so did you mean to register a mock Sapphire? And I was like, yeah, what? And he's like, you registered a Mox Opal. And I was like, oh, I like pull up the deck list on my phone, or I might have pulled up the deck list when they put the Mox Sapphire away, but I don't think I did. I think it was, I pulled it up my phone. was like,
00:58:17
Speaker
oh and I just like, I look very defeated. At this point, I'm just like, oh my God, this is such a stupid mistake to make. um They're like, I'm assuming that you meant to register their the box Sapphire. like, yep, I meant to register the box Sapphire.
00:58:29
Speaker
um This is actually a very important distinction um for future Turnit Gryders. If a judge asks you, did you mean to register the list that you have, or did you mean to play the list that you registered?
00:58:42
Speaker
ah You say that you will mean to play ah the list that you have. Because if you mean to play the list that you have and you misregistered, that's a game loss.
00:58:53
Speaker
If you mean to play the list that you registered and you the list that you have is different, that is cheating and that is a match loss. um This is a very weird small tournament thing, but like future reference if anyone's listening and goes to a tournament.
00:59:06
Speaker
um If I accidentally somehow put a Mox Opal in my deck as a proxy for a Mox Sapphire, I would have to say, like yeah, I meant to at register this Mox Opal instead of my Mox Sapphire. um Or like, yeah.
00:59:17
Speaker
So anyways, so I was like, okay, this could be worse. ah But my my my brain like went through my mind for a second I was like, wait, which one of these am I supposed to say? i was like, yeah, you don't know. know I meant to destroy the Mox Sapphire, like, whatever.
00:59:29
Speaker
um So that's that's heartbreaking. And I'm like, ah, like I i won the die roll. We were sitting down. i was just about like, whatever. Yeah, what I mean, this like said, this is something that that I can easily see would have just derailed.
00:59:41
Speaker
Oh, yeah. yeah ryan and I mean, I think that that's... And honestly, it did derail that match. Like i sat down and I won game one. I won our first game, but then I lost our second game and ah the match was very favorable for me.
00:59:54
Speaker
And I, looking back, was like, I lost. I didn't need to lose that second game. I could have been undefeated. Like I could have been in the 6-1 bracket. ah Now you're getting into the the yeah the shoulds, right? Absolutely, right? ah the the the yes yeah And and that that's the whole thing that's swarming my brain, right? It's like, yeah oh, i and and then i then I create the narrative. I'm like, oh, well, I'm unfamiliar with this format. you know Looking back on this, I could see if there was a game three, I would have won.
01:00:21
Speaker
And like I have lost this match because of this silly little deck mistake, because of this little silly deck error. um And like that starts going through my head. And I'm like, okay,
01:00:32
Speaker
Because we only played two games. I mean, I really think of that as being that healthy thinking and being able to approach that, right? like Yeah, but I was spiraling a little bit. Well, okay. ah To be fair, and I would also counter this with, I spiraled for two solid rounds. Oh, yeah, absolutely. that's This is where I'm thinking about that that idea of where things could just go kind of...
01:00:54
Speaker
Really go completely off the rails. And like, you know, when you sit down in the 5-1 bracket and you're like, oh, I'm a table three. you know And you go from, i entered this tournament thinking he I was going to 0-3 drop, right? Yes.
01:01:05
Speaker
And like, now I'm in the winning bracket. And then to have that loss, the loss that definitively knocks you out of top eight, be so brutal in that way. i was just so sad. And I was like, okay, I'm I gotta get up. I gotta talk to people. I gotta walk around.
01:01:22
Speaker
So, thankfully, i am friends with some people that run some booths at events and that are vendors at the events. Like, I manage a store that's relatively large. Like, we don't do vending events, but, like, I've talked to some of these people. Like, I have working relationships with them. And, like, one of the vendors is, like, a local, like, whatever. So...
01:01:41
Speaker
I start walking around and I go up to the booth that is, that I bought my tabernacle from. And I'm like, oh yeah, how's it going? And he's like, yeah, how are those tabernacles treating you? I'm like, turns out I didn't need them. I haven't, haven't brought them in once.
01:01:52
Speaker
um You know what talk? And I'm like, yeah, like I had this really fresh.
01:03:32
Speaker
or anything I lost, but like, you know, i think I could have played that last game better. I think I could have won that in I ah got too focused on, i got too in my head about I can't lose this game, right? And sometimes you just need to win, right?
01:03:47
Speaker
um And I did that, and I felt a little bit better. And I realized, you want to know what top 32, they still get the non-foil promos? So then I'm like, hey, if I bring you one of the ah what are the tinker promos, one of the non-foils, what are you guys paying on them?
01:04:00
Speaker
Right? um And he's like, oh, you know, he didn't know his price for that at the time. um and was like, cool. So I go around to a couple other booths. I go around to a couple of people that I know. i tell my bad beat story you know and and I shift the goalpost. I'm like, okay, well, what are you guys paying on this tinker? What are you guys paying for this tinker? And I'm like, you to know what?
01:04:18
Speaker
I'll bring one by. i'll bring you know like ah When I win mine, I'll bring one by and you can tell me a number, right? And like I re-psych myself back up because I still have things to fight for. I still have games to play and I can still do better. And honestly, I've already done better than I expected.
01:04:35
Speaker
Um, so I sit back down and I play, let's see. So I'm in the five, two bracket and I play and I need to win two games. So I, I play and I beat oath of druids to Oh, pretty, pretty decisively pretty well.
01:04:49
Speaker
And then I sit down and I'm like, okay, well sit down for my last round. And my last round opponent was just like, do you want to split? I'm like, well, we can split, but, like, the promo's kind of annoying.
01:04:59
Speaker
um the the largest offer at the room at the time was, uh, was a vendor who was offering a thousand for the take card. I was like, 500 cash is, like, a very good amount of cash, plus, like, the cash prize would split. I'm like, but this kind of seems like a hassle. Let's play, right?
01:05:12
Speaker
So we play game one, I win. We play game two, I lose. And then i then I'm like, eh, if you want to split, like, I think I've played a lot of Magic, like, whatever. And he's like, no, I think I want to play. And I was like, yeah, sure, fair enough. We play,
01:05:23
Speaker
um i I think I play that game pretty intelligently. I think I have a couple of fun plays. I had one of my friends who was over my shoulders who I talked to afterwards. He was like, yeah, you make made this like sick play where you like cracked your vexing bobble to be able to play something that then let you recast your lures then like replay your vexing bobble to keep the protection up.
01:05:45
Speaker
um He's like, I didn't see that play. like That was sick. And I was like, hell yeah. That's cool. I'm glad... that's cool like i'm glad I also had like a play against a Doomsday player earlier that I was pretty proud of. And like I really just like tried to hold those moments. And and now I'm nervous, right? Because i'm um not everyone that is seven two i get into top ah gets into top 32, right? um there There's some tiebreakers that go on.
01:06:11
Speaker
Where i was sited it was where i was seated, it was pretty likely that I was going to get top 32. So I go up and I get my tax form. and I actually think I might have filled out my tax form in that in-between round, in round ah six, where I, like, had that loss, or round seven, where I had that loss, because I was like, you to know what? I'm going to do this. I'm just going to get this tax form. going to fill this out, like, whatever, psych myself up. But I turned in my tax... I think I actually maybe be messed up and then needed to get another one, but I digress.
01:06:35
Speaker
I filled out my tax form, and... um i you know I'm like, okay, cool. I've just got a wait here for standings. And I wait for standings. The time comes and i I look at my thing and I'm 21st. And I'm like i yeah i said i know hope that i i think it like... I'm really hoping that this kind of demystifies for some people that you know, playing, playing it is, I think that you need to be, it is a complete element of the game. Like you need to be mentally prepared to be able to do a tournament. And I think recognizing that is something that's important. And like I said, coming from more of the the running world or just coming from where I did things more competitively historically, it it was a complete difference for me to kind of get used to.
01:07:17
Speaker
um And I, and I just, yeah, I just think that ah it's one of those things that's really interesting to me to be thinking about just how different those those pathways were for the two of us. Oh, yeah. And, like, i i think i mean i I think that the biggest thing... ah i actually think that one of, like, the biggest things that might be a bit of a difference in my story than your story is, like,
01:07:36
Speaker
I actively went in, like, suck out a support system, right? Like, I went and I was just like, I'm going to tell this bad beat story five times over.
01:07:47
Speaker
And I'm also going to say, hey, there's this really cool play that I had against this Doomsday player where, like, I dazed them to force their Black Lotus crack so that they didn't have enough mana to go off on the next turn and, like, did a really cool thing.
01:07:59
Speaker
Because, like, I can acknowledge that this sucks, but I can also acknowledge that, like, I've made good plays this tournament. I've I've played well, I've done good, and can do better. A lot of this is just focus, right? It is. This is where we're talking about the difference, too. I'm thinking even just as a professional where I was for myself and when it came to competition and how much more difficult that has been for me historically.
01:08:22
Speaker
um So, yeah. So, Nathan, thank you for coming on. It's been good to actually to talk about this because this is... Learning to deal with tilt. And I i would say it's also just learning to deal with the fact that, you know, is something that we talk about on this show a lot.
01:08:40
Speaker
um Managing our distress is has always been kind of something that's been difficult for me to do. And so and it's it's one of the most important life skills. Like thiss well yeah there's so much that's going to disappoint you and upset you over your life. You know, yeah as well how much you let that affect you. Like that that that's that's what you got to figure out, right?
01:08:59
Speaker
Yep. So thank you for coming back. um Absolutely. Thank you for having me. Taya, I believe our plan next week is to return to story. we are going to talk about grief and emotions and I'm sorry, Grief is now banned in the Legacy format. So if you're talking about Grief, you're going to be having to do it in Vintage. That's my wheelhouse, okay? I didn't say where we were talking about it. It is banned in both Legacy and Modern. It It's really got to be Vintage. But we were talking story, so I think we should be okay. I know, I know.
01:09:37
Speaker
No, no, i' I've just given you a hard time. But yeah, so we're going to talking about that. And then our plan is we have already talked to um Cassandra, who wrote the story for ah the um set that we just passed through, which my brain's already forgotten what plane we're on. Oh, Darkir. Oh, yeah.
01:09:56
Speaker
yeah ah yeah Big dragons, Nicol Bolas, and Ugin being the worst brother, but Jace somehow still being the worst in this story. Come join us. been the Goblin Lore Podcast.
01:10:07
Speaker
Thank you for listening. We can be found both on Twitter and Blue Sky at GoblinLorePod. Check out our link tree for our Discord and our discounts. We appreciate you listening and welcome feedback via social media or Discord.
01:10:20
Speaker
Until next time, Podwalkers, remember that goblins, like snowflakes, are only dangerous in numbers.