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40k Reasons NOT to live in the Warhammer 40K Universe!
337 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, Satsunami is joined by friend of the channel RoboticBattleToaster to discuss the top reasons that you should not live in the Warhammer 40K universe! From super soldiers and space bugs to chaotic clowns and fungi monsters, you won't want to miss what we have to say!
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Transcript
Introduction to Hosts and Episode
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to Chatsunami.
00:00:16
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Chatsunami. My name's Satsunami and joining me in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium is none other than the one and only Robotic Battle Toaster.
00:00:37
Speaker
There is only war. Yeah, how are you doing today, Toaster? I'm going to say Toaster because Robotic Battle Toaster, as cool as it is, I feel as if I'll start stumbling over it and I don't want to offend the omniscient at this late stage. Toaster's perfectly fine, good sir. I would have grabbed that on Twitch if I could, but unfortunately it was taken. No way, was it? Yeah, yeah. Battle Toaster and Toaster were both taken and they weren't even taken by content creators.
00:01:04
Speaker
So there goes my dark heresy nickname that I gathered. That's a shame. No, that's a good one. Darkness. Wasn't that light turned off? How are you doing? Oh, I'm doing all right. Thank you. I'm really looking forward to our topic of discussion. I've been doing a little bit of boning up on my research to make sure I get my facts right and ready to plunge you into the darkness of the 41st millennium. Yeah, I'm not going to
Exploring Warhammer 40k's Lore and Influences
00:01:25
Speaker
lie. I was doing exactly the same today of looking up videos, looking up sources, saying
00:01:30
Speaker
Is that right? And you know, the topic we're going to talk about today is very, I think the right terms, loosey goosey, when it comes to some of its lore. Like the general themes are there. So today we're going to be indeed continuing a very informal sub-series I like to call Living in the X World. So for example, Adam and I in previous episodes, we talked about the hellscape that Living in the Pokémon World would be. We talked about Living in the Legends of Zelda World with
00:01:59
Speaker
Andrew and today I have brought you on to the show to start to talk about a very ground setting indeed that of course being the Warhammer 40k universe which in all honesty I think we could probably end the episode by just saying right now it would be a hellscape. Thank you for watching.
00:02:20
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, considering there is a literal hellscape in the universe that you have to fly through, using only a small shield to keep you from the demons outside. Yeah, we can just say, hell on the inside, hell on the outside. Goodbye. Yeah, it's like a Doom game. No, it isn't D-ring. Where's the Doom guy?
00:02:36
Speaker
I mean, I wonder if he would fit into this universe to be fair. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he was just trapped in the realm of souls, or the warp as it's called, because there was a character called Kaldor Drago, who was a Grey Knight, who is trapped in there slaughtering demons daily. I wouldn't be surprised if every so often he just bumps shoulder to shoulder with a guy in green armour with a double barrel shotgun and a pet rabbit. He wouldn't put it past the law. Yeah, no, I wouldn't put it past them either to be fair.
00:03:06
Speaker
The 40k universe is a very strange one. It's one that some of you out there might have heard of, but for those of you who haven't heard of it, it is. And this is the very broadest way I can describe it. It's a science fantasy setting with
00:03:21
Speaker
super soldiers, orcs, elves, fleshy tomb monsters, cults, robots, sorry no offence toaster, and yeah there's just like a whole lot of horrible nasty grouplies out there and is of course based on the, I wanna say the 80s tabletop
Unique Aspects of Warhammer 40k Technology
00:03:39
Speaker
game. Well funny enough I think the basics for the Warhammer 40k universe I think were based on Dune actually.
00:03:46
Speaker
Because if you look at all the old Dune books, there are a lot of references that sound very imperium. So I believe it's actually based on that and just slowly grew and grew its own legs and became what it is today, I believe. So what you're saying is they took Apollo 3D's and just slapped power armour on them and said go forth and recede the galaxy. This is what happens when the spice flows, you get intergalactic conflict.
00:04:11
Speaker
I mean, that would make sense because this universe doesn't have very much in the way of technological innovation.
Personal Stories and Experiences with Warhammer 40k
00:04:18
Speaker
You know, you've got no space, Steve Jobs, you've got no Bill Gates, you've only got, and again, no offense, Dosa, because I know this is one of your favourite factions. You have the tech priests who are basically kind of hybrids between robots and, well, aren't they hybrids or are they just full on machines at this point? The Oedipus Mechanicus teachings go on about the strength
00:04:39
Speaker
of steel and the superiority of artificial components of organic tissues. The aspirations of every tech priest is to replace as much of their matter as possible with artificial constructs apart from the brain. They modify the brain, but they cannot replace it because the technology to do so is considered either heretic,
00:04:59
Speaker
or dark tech, which is a no-no. There have been tech priests that have done it, and they have been able to replicate emotions, but they are part of a thing called the Dark Mechanicum, which are the forces of the Omnicide that have fallen foul to the forces of chaos. But you speak of technological innovation. That happened in the 31st millennium, when humanity was really striving forward with the Emperor.
00:05:19
Speaker
and then dark things happened, bad things happened, and we entered an age of technological regression where secrets are lost and, well, worlds destroyed. I mean, things got very cyber-punky and not in the best way, I have to say. To put it very, very nicely, things kind of took a dark turn. You know, as you said, there is like a whole other setting for the 30K universe, but of course the 40K one is
00:05:45
Speaker
definitely the more prevalent one. And before we go on and we actually deep dive into this last world of hellishness to put it lightly, how did you actually get into 40k? Oh, so my first interaction with 40k was one of my cousin's birthday parties. We went to Games Workshop HQ in Nottingham and we got to play with a few random armies there. And as you'd expect,
00:06:08
Speaker
I got absolutely stomped on and it was like okay right I'm gonna stop yeah this is a fun hobby so I started playing the computer games first actually so fire warrior was the first one I played which is where you play as a towel infantryman fighting against the forces of the Imperium then dawn of war and at that point I started building up a towel army then space marine army then an Ekron army
00:06:29
Speaker
and then a turn it army and yeah then i've just got a giant mountain of plastic shame somewhere hidden in the house and now i've moved on to the glorious uh adeptus mechanicus because well toast has got to have a hobby right
00:06:44
Speaker
about yourself good sir? This is going to sound like a PSA video,
Painting Miniatures and Community Bonding
00:06:48
Speaker
you know the ones where it's like don't do drugs but instead of drugs it's little plastic space marines and I always remember when I was younger and I mean like far beyond I learned about 40k but I knew about games workshop of course the store that sells all these or rather I should say the enablers
00:07:06
Speaker
that fosters this interest and they used to sell a Lord of the Rings series and I remember it used to get these magazines that you know those magazines where it's like you buy the first couple and they gave you like free models with them. Yeah I know the ones you're talking about and then you keep buying more. Oh yeah.
00:07:23
Speaker
and I remember I had going door nights that had some elves and things. I never really played the games but I did paint up one or two of them and I don't know why but I never really had any friends who were into it at the time so I kind of just pushed it to the side. I pursued other interests. It's not you Games Workshop, it's me.
00:07:43
Speaker
I moved on from that period of my life that dark shame and then I met another friend who I'm still friends with this person to this day but he of course was really into 40k he reads the books he's got all the models and he was like oh do you want to come in and see what it's like and I'm actually looking at it just now he gave me a space marine model and one night I went to visit him and he was like you know what let's do some painting why don't you try it
00:08:09
Speaker
So I was like, OK, I decided to paint it up as a ultramarine, which is just basically like gold and blue for anyone who doesn't know. Think of a person in power armor with almost Buzz Lightyear proportions, where it's like the very bulky armor. And I have seen people paint their space marines like Buzz Lightyear. It's fantastic. But, you know, it's like very bulky armor and everything. It looks silly, but at the same time, it was more or less like a bonding experience.
00:08:36
Speaker
as it were, it was like, oh yeah, let's get together, let's do this. And yeah, it just kind of spiralled from there. I went from that to buying some figures, which to this day I still haven't painted. So I think my cup of tea in terms of Fortique was the Imperial Guardsman, or the Astra Militarum, and yeah, I've painted them up in the very traditional Satsu colors of orange and teal and
00:09:01
Speaker
You know, absolutely love the wee guys, but you know, that was my introduction. And then I started to read more about the lore, the books, I played some of the games like Dawn of War. And yeah, I've always had a soft spot for this franchise. But have you ever seen those memes where it's the guy who says, oh, I wish I was transported to, let's say, the Harry Potter world. It seems so
00:09:25
Speaker
magical and whimsical, and then someone else is like, oh, I want to be transferred to the Pokémon world. It looks so wonderful. And then you've got the 40k people on the corner saying, nah, we're good. It's like, you're all right. You keep the 41st millennium way over there.
Podcast Promotion and Personal Invites
00:09:40
Speaker
But see, without any further ado, will we just jump in and talk about, well, I suppose the 40,000 reasons that we probably shouldn't live in this universe? You only need one. Well, chaos. Yeah, there you go. Got it. There you go. Yeah, without any further ado, let's just jump in and we'll be right back after these transmissions.
00:10:09
Speaker
Previously on Chatsunami, we've analysed what makes a good horror game, conducted a retrospective on Pierce Brosnan's runs James Bond, and listened to us take deep dives into both the Sonic and Halo franchises.
00:10:21
Speaker
Also, if you're an anime fan, then don't forget to check us out on our sub-series, Chatsunani, where we dive into the world of anime. So far, we've reviewed things like Death Note, Princess Mononoke, and the hit Beyblade series. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then you can check us out on Spotify, iTunes, and all big podcast apps. As always, stay safe!
00:10:39
Speaker
Stay awesome, and most importantly, stay hydrated. Greetings! My name is Robotic BattleToaster. You can find me over on Twitch and Discord. More social media platforms to follow. I play a wide variety of both multiplayer and single-player games on PC. You can even pick what games I play over on my Discord channel. My channel is a place to chill out, nerd out over video games, and have some fun back and forth banter. And I hope to see you there! Now, without any further ado, back to chat tsunami. Ta-ta!
00:11:08
Speaker
This episode is sponsored by Zencaster. If you're a podcaster that records remotely like me, then you'll know how challenging it can be to create the podcast you've always wanted. That's where Zencaster comes in. Before I met Zencaster, I was put a naive podcaster, recording on low-quality, one-track audio waves.
00:11:43
Speaker
I want you to have the same easy experience I do for all my podcasting and content needs. It's time to share your story.
00:11:55
Speaker
So as I said at the very beginning, there are a multitude of factions that you can really align yourself with in the 40-year universe, and I'm kind of saying humanity isn't one of the good ones.
The Dark Reality of the Warhammer 40k Universe
00:12:08
Speaker
You know, you think you would be safe with humanity because they have a very powerful army, they're a very militaristic society in this setting, but if you and I popped up and we ended up in
00:12:19
Speaker
any of the worlds that the Imperium of Man, which is what they're known as in this universe, if we appeared on any of those planets, chances are we would either be shot for heresy or conscripted to the army, or as we said before, the Imperial Guard to the bare basic foot soldiers. Is that right and sane? The Imperial Guard, or Astra Militarum, to use the modern name for them, they are basically the iron fist of the Imperium.
00:12:47
Speaker
They are the main bulwark of their forces. You have the special forces like the Adeptus Astartes and the inquisitorial agents that support, well, support the Imperium. But yeah, the main fighting force is just normal men and women, and they are supported by the Imperial Navy, and they will be sent in their millions into like theatres of war.
00:13:09
Speaker
just to like take over one section. They like drown their enemies and bodies. Because in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, when the Imperium is made up of a million worlds, human life is cheap. It is worth virtually nothing. I mean, they turn people
00:13:25
Speaker
enter servitors, which are semi-sentient, semi-self-aware automatons that can follow a basic set of instructions, but they are still people. They are people who have fallen out of political favour. They are prisoners. They are people who, you know, retreated from battle and weren't shot. It's dark.
00:13:43
Speaker
Oh, it's extremely. I know we were kind of joking and saying, oh, it's grim dark and everything, but literally, if you play a game based in this universe, or you read a book based in this universe, chances are the very first line, and I'm not even exaggerating, the very first line in that media will be in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium. There is only war.
00:14:05
Speaker
they aren't kidding. I don't think I've ever read like a slice of life at Pico Lucky. You know like an anime where they have that filler episode? I don't think I've ever read anything like that in 40k. If you have, it wasn't real. It was just Zinch messing with you. I mean, the closest I think I've come to that, and it's a book series I would highly recommend, is the Syphus Kane series.
00:14:28
Speaker
Ah, good old Caiaphas. Yeah, but then again, that's not really a happy-go-lucky story, is it? He keeps trying to avoid all the horrible situations, and the Emperor keeps throwing him into them. It's like, ah, you avoided this! Oh, yeah, congratulations! You stumbled across this, which is even worse!
00:14:44
Speaker
Do you want to know a fun fact, actually? Aye. So, you know the sci-fi book that I wrote? Yeah, Canvas, yes. Did you know as well on top of that, that the main character in that art tourist is actually based in Syfascane? Wait, really? Does he have a Jürgen?
00:15:00
Speaker
No, I haven't had the chance to play any younger. Technically there are younger and less characters but I was reading that at the time and he is one of the characters a beast at all because I was thinking a character who is relatively skilled in some fields but keeps getting himself into danger and everybody thinks
00:15:17
Speaker
Oh, you're a hero when he's actually just accidentally stumbled into the loading. And I don't know why, I just love that character so much because for anyone who doesn't know, Saif is getting his name wrong there, but he is a commissar who, of course, he is like one of the leaders of the regiments and the
00:15:37
Speaker
Imperial Guard. The best way to describe it I think is Blackadder in space. If you're saying Blackadder, that's literally it. It's like he stumbles into these situations and people praise him thinking, oh he's a military genius and everything and don't get me wrong, he gets the job done and he's adept at sword fighting and things but he is not looking for glory or anything. Like in the very first book, I'm trying to group of Imperial Guards who are trapped in this planet
00:16:05
Speaker
he's like, I'll be right back. And he steals a vehicle, drives the hell away, thinking, I'm getting off this planet because they are being sieged by, I think it's tinnitus? Yeah, it's the tinnitus. Yeah, and he accidentally comes across the one tinnity, like chops off its head because it gets forced into combat with it. And it ends up, everyone's like, oh, why were you so far away from the base and everything? And he's like, oh, it's because I was surveying
00:16:35
Speaker
the area. Of course, as you alluded to there, his psychic jurgony, oh he's just the best. But he thinks, oh he's such a hero and he's the one that's always bailing Cain out of these situations. Yeah, it's always him in some way, shape or form contributing to his survival. That and his weapons. Just don't ask him for a sandwich.
00:16:56
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's true. Andy smells apparently. So Syphus keeps repeating constantly. But going back to the Imperial Apologies and that side tangent, I just really love that book. I think it's Sandy Mitchell as the writer. So definitely go check that out. Fantastic. But yeah, it's
00:17:12
Speaker
pretty dark. As you said as well, you've got the Imperial Guard who are just the foot soldiers, essentially the statistic for the battle. He was like, how many did you lose? Probably thousands, hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people. But we took three metres of territory.
00:17:28
Speaker
Yeah, there are definitely parallels to things like the First World War as well, which I thought was quite cool, in the sense of, as you said, having three meters of ground conquered and they're like, yes we did it! It's like, how many men did we lose? It's like, ah, that's not important as all the bodies are behind them. There's a lot of different warfare that they have to adapt to and everything. And that's the minimum. What I will say is though, is that the Imperium of Man, as long as you serve the Emperor and everything, it's a very equal society.
00:17:57
Speaker
in the guard. As long as you've got a last guard and you're pointing towards the head of takes, you're probably fine. But yeah, it wouldn't be my ideal situation.
00:18:17
Speaker
You
Deep Dive into Warhammer 40k Factions
00:18:18
Speaker
say that, but I actually, before I came on tonight, I actually saw a – and again, this is like spoilers to some of the shorts that I think it's a Warhammer Plus. It's a subscription service. Warhammer Plus have uploaded recently about tech priests. Basically the reason you should never be left alone with a tech priest, and now I am afraid of tech priests.
00:18:40
Speaker
They're very logical, they're very calculated to maybe their own word, but they are very logical in their thinking and they just want to get the mission done. Is that right in saying? You don't happen to have a robotic arm, do you? That can be used for something else, like a replacement leg joint for a Castellan battle automata. Also, you do know what I'm talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about, that poor unfortunate guardsman. Oh, yeah. I've been saved, yes, awesome. Everyone's retreated, I'm left alone. Okay, can I help?
00:19:10
Speaker
your fighting prowess would add an insignificant margin to our success chances. However, your arm, uh oh, run, run. Yeah, that is officially turned me away from the Adactus Mechanicus. Pain how? I wouldn't do that. Just a wee bit. I mean, I don't have robotic arms or anything yet, but if I did, I would be sure as hell to be hiding under that more sand.
00:19:36
Speaker
It's just been like, nope, nope, nope. Depending on how many automatics you had and what their quality is, you'd actually be better off. The only reason that she did that salvage operation was because she was hunting for a thing called archaeotech, which as the animation shows is very ancient, very powerful technology that was a gold icon from the 31st millennium. So as you saw from the animation, when it managed to
00:20:00
Speaker
completely rebuild that castle and battle automata. One guardsman's life. But if it was a combat situation, a standard situation, and say you had a cybernetic leg, a cybernetic arm, and a bionic eye, yeah, the tech priest would make sure that you were okay. They would make sure you look after your gear and they'd help however you can, because those are gifts from the Omnissiah.
00:20:19
Speaker
All I'm saying is, I want a partner or an adult with me at all times. Like, supervision. I'll be there to look after you. Supervision. Either that or I'd have to take you one of those spray bottles, just like for cats. You go... Anyway, I will rust you. I swear to God, I'll rust you. I thought you were going to go along the lines of spray can of silver paint and just paint yourself silver and go, yes, I am robot. Beep boop. Oh no, that's for my neck runs, but we'll get on to them.
00:20:47
Speaker
you think I'm joking? They're the easiest models I've ever had to paint them alive. When I was painting them, I watched Terminator 2 whilst doing so. Oh, that's amazing.
00:20:58
Speaker
It's very fitting. But before we go on to the nasty scribblies of the 41st millennium, of course we've got the faction that we probably should address. The power armour in the room, that of course being the space marines who serve the, of course to serve the emperor of mankind. To long story short, I'm going to very briefly summarise the horror side of the scene if you don't mind me. I will be judging and marking
00:21:24
Speaker
Long story short, there was this dude in the 31st millennium called The Emperor. He had great psychic abilities. He was doing these things. All I'm saying is, if musicals were a thing, they would have Emperor Superstar or something like that going about. Anyway, my fanfiction aside, they had The Emperor, of course. He was leading mankind into a golden age and everything, but he had some sons who were quite… There were some bad eggs, and I'm using that term very
00:21:52
Speaker
one of which was called Orys, he wanted to overthrow his father, a minor domestic scuffle ensued, leading to the Emperor being put on life support for the next 10,000 years and having the souls of, and this is something we looked up before we came on the episode, the souls of 1,000 psychics a day to sustain this massive skeleton on this golden throne. So yeah, that's what they worship. There's also loads of in-between stuff such as another son called Magnus who hashtag Magnus the Northern
00:22:22
Speaker
wrong. He tried to warn his dad about Horace. He was saying, oh, Horace has been a bit of a dick. He's like, oh no, you've ruined my model train set. What are you doing? I know it was like a web way to stuff things. I love how you're underplaying these very key important events.
00:22:42
Speaker
I told you it was really brief, like we would be here for hours going over the whole descent. But yeah, that's the reason, that's the person that they worship. For 10,000 years, humanity have worshipped this massive skeleton on a golden throne and, you know, I think he's technically still alive but he has just nothing but skin and bones.
00:23:03
Speaker
He is still alive, and he's effectively stopping a warp rift from appearing on terror. But the really ironic thing is that, as you say, he's been worshipped as a deity. He never wanted to be worshipped as a deity. One of the things he did back in the early days was abolish all religion, because in his eyes it was holding people back. And the first
00:23:24
Speaker
Guardsmen that died, that sacrificed himself to try and stop Horus from killing him, turned out to be, I believe, the last, either the last bishop or a leader of a church who basically, when the betrayal happened and Horus was confronting the emperor on his flagship, yeah, this Guardsman sacrificed himself to try and keep the emperor safe.
00:23:43
Speaker
oh what is his name again the guy with titanic balls of steel uh-huh i unfortunately can't remember his name off the top of my head oh olanius pious pious yeah that was it yeah olanius pious the thing i don't like about olanius pious is the fact that they
00:24:00
Speaker
and I don't know what their current stance on it is just now, but the Games Workshop keep retconning it. So initially it was just a lone guardsman and then it was like, oh it was part of an immortal race or something, then it was a custodians, then it was a space marine. And I feel as if the guardsman is the perfect thing you could use as, I don't want to say sacrificial lamb, but
00:24:24
Speaker
you know, the perfect representation of humanity's fortitude against the grim darkness that was to come. Because as we said, he was just like a guardsman. He was like, you and I, you know, you're squishy. He was not going to survive against Hodas, because Hodas is like an eight foot tall clad in power armour. He would have ripped, if I did rip him apart, you know, let's not be
00:24:46
Speaker
the bush here but he does and you know that causes the Emperor to think oh I must save humanity by defeating my son and that pushes him over the edge to I guess not kill his son but you know put him in the naughty corner yeah exactly put him in the naughty warp you know yeah of course so living in terror after him that wouldn't be ideal but neither would living on other worlds like
00:25:08
Speaker
I don't know, a forge world or a hive world. Honestly, there's so many types of worlds. And you think surely if you cycle through them all, there must be one. But see, unless you're an aristocrat or like a diplomat that somehow got very, very lucky and you're living a lavish lifestyle, you're part of the guard. There's no influencers on the bloody first millennium. There's no niceties or nice professions. I don't think there's any bakers or
00:25:36
Speaker
I think the only place or the best place that you could possibly live in the idea of having a quiet life would be on something like an agri world, which is basically a planet dedicated to farming because it's not a forge world.
00:25:52
Speaker
So you can actually breathe the air and you don't have to worry about all the pollutants and the planet being stripped for minerals. It's not a fortress world, so you don't have to worry about demonic invasions or anything else like that. If you do get pulled forward for enlistment, chances are it will be for the PDF.
00:26:09
Speaker
which is called the Planetary Defence Force. They're like the Home Guard, or you might get tied off to the Imperial Guard when that planet pays its tithes. But until then, the only threat that you really have is pirate raiders and orcs. But that's one type of world out of hive worlds, forge worlds, fortress worlds, death worlds. There are so many nasty places to live in the Imperium. Yeah, it's amazing. Thomas Cook should hire us to advertise for them.
00:26:35
Speaker
The job we are doing to make these into wonderful places, it's like, you know, you call it a fortress world, we call it a secure world, we call it a death world, we call it a recluse world. A wee bit of rebranding goes a long way. Call it a survivalist's dream world.
00:26:53
Speaker
Exactly. If you love games like Valheim, Rust, Daisy, if you love games like that where you have to try and forage for survival, you kind of love these worlds. You're going to absolutely love them. Just don't send us there. We'll take your word for it. Just go. Take pictures. Yeah, exactly. Take pictures and send them back in the hallway or something.
00:27:12
Speaker
But of course, going back to what was saying before, you've got the Space Marines who are eight foot abominations, clad in massive gigantic armour. And recently as well, you've got even taller Marines called Primatus Marines, but they're pretty much the same, just a wee bit bigger and bulkier and easier to paint. And their proportions are a bit more realistic. Yeah.
00:27:35
Speaker
Yeah, because I'm looking right now at the old models. So to give context to anyone who hasn't played the tabletop game, basically the space marines have the same proportions as a guardsman. So they both look exactly the same, but in the lower they should technically be eight feet tall. They should be really massive in comparison to these tiny squishy humans. But then they brought out something called the Prime Madness Marines that are essentially just super super soldiers. Super Marines. Yeah.
00:28:04
Speaker
which on the one hand is a weird thing to introduce into the war, especially so late, but on the other hand, I do like the models a lot more. I just pretend the Earth's base Marines are like, you know what, just shove them in. They're fantastic. Funny enough, I actually have an answer for why they introduced them. So in the recent lore of the 40k universe, there's this thing called the Great Rift
00:28:26
Speaker
So Kadia has fallen, and it turns out the thing that was keeping the Eye of Terror from expanding were these Necron pylons that were effectively limiting the buildup of warp energy, and every time Abaddon went on a crusade that people thought had failed, he was just destroying the pylons on a planet and then retreating back.
00:28:45
Speaker
And so on his 13th one, I believe it was, he succeeded. He destroyed Kadia, which was the last group of pylons. And this rift spread across the galaxy and split the Imperium in half. Terra was nearly cut off from the Imperium. And I believe for six months, it was cut off by warp storms. And Rabuti Gilliman came back and effectively had an audience with the Emperor. He worked with, and this is a this is a cut down brief version, so I do apologize. But he started working with this tech priest who
00:29:15
Speaker
who skirts the borders between Maltech, Heretic, and Accepted Tech, called Belisarius Crawl. They needed to improve upon the gene seed that was being used for existing space marines to remove defects. For example, the Blood Angels, they have a thing called the, I think it's the Red Rage, which is where they all feel the death of
00:29:36
Speaker
their Primarch father, Sanguinius, who was killed by Horus. You've got the Spacedwills, who are slowly turning more feral. And so the Primaris Marines were basically a reset button to that, to make the Geneseed reusable, including the legions that were lost. You know, the legions that turned traitor, they were able to make samples of this and upgrade them to Primaris Marines.
Spotlight on Space Marines and Primarchs
00:29:56
Speaker
But Rebutig Illiman has not given approval for those to be used yet because he just doesn't trust them. So armed with this new, improved legion folded into his Ultramarines chapter,
00:30:06
Speaker
He started, I believe it's the Indomitus Crusade, to basically try and retake the Imperium and the Light. So he can eventually look at pushing down Galactic South through the Rift to try and help the Dark Imperium. So that's why the Primaris Marines were made to restock old legions.
00:30:22
Speaker
I was gonna say, it was always nice when, you know, you run out of your shop and then you do like a weekly shop after and a cosmic level. Yeah, we're running low on soldiers. Can we get some more, please? Can we get some of the good ones? Okay, just this one. We have good soldiers at home. I don't want the good soldiers at home, just the tiny.
00:30:39
Speaker
in the Imperial Guardsmen. Wait, what? You kind of owe a due to that as well. The fact that the Geese super soldiers and then you've got the super super soldiers via the Primaris marines, the fact that they are the best of the best of humanity, you know, not everybody can be a space marine, but those that are and are created from, as you said, that gene seed from one of the Primarchs is basically, it's not just one of the Emperor's sons, am I right in saying? Yes,
00:31:05
Speaker
and the Emperor's sons were also experiments. So you've got the Emperor, then you've got the Emperor's sons, and then you've got all of their lovely children, and two are known as, as you said, legions or chapters. So as you said, you've got the Space Wolves who, as the name suggests, they're about... they like to larp as wolves, I suppose. Okay, they don't like to larp as wolves for the most part. Very heavy Norse culture. It's not like that one bit of lore where some of them turn into wolves.
00:31:33
Speaker
Oh yes. If the gene seed goes wrong. Yeah if the gene seed gets corrupted they do start showing more canine tendencies or canine traits I guess would be more correct. And then you've got the Salamanders who are a personal favourite of mine who are basically burnt like their whole skin's burnt by the way like this really cool dragon armour and everything. As you said you've got the Bloody Joes, you've got the Ultramarines which don't worry we'll talk about one.
00:31:56
Speaker
The Ultramarines, you might have seen them. If you have a passing interest in Fortikate, you'll know the Ultramarines. They are the Space Marines that are clad in blue armour. They've got the upside down Omega symbol on the pauldron. Get in the
00:32:11
Speaker
poster child, aren't they? It seems as if they're very much the kind of base standard before you get into the weird and wacky side of the fandom. I was laughing because I remember ages ago being at Games Workshop and they were starting to introduce – because obviously despite the setting, there are a lot of teenagers and maybe some kids that actually
00:32:33
Speaker
play this game. So they were trying to make it more appealing to them through storybooks. Did you see this? storybooks? No, I don't think I did. Oh, it's teenagers or something, but oh, when's the cup is that? When's the take, please? I was like, oh my God, you're getting sacrificed. Whatever deity you come across, there is no way that they can make the 41st millennium kid friendly surely. No. Yeah, apparently it's a thing.
00:32:58
Speaker
it's dark and it's brutal because yeah we talk about the space rings like they're unstoppable super soldiers but they can be killed just as easily by like an orc and then that orc can be killed by something else everything is well one hit point away from death as it were
00:33:15
Speaker
Apart from the guardsmen, they're half a hit point away from deathblissom. I'm just double checking to see I haven't made this up in my head. And as far as I can see, it's called Warhammer Adventures. Warhammer Adventures? I have not heard of that. So I'm looking at the cover. One person looks like a child version of a tape, please. What on earth am I looking at, Satsu? Are you looking at it just now? What the heck am I looking at?
00:33:43
Speaker
See, I didn't make it off. Yeah, you've got War Armor Adventures, Secrets of the Town, Attack of the Necron, Steady of Lights. Why is there a tiny space marine with them? What's going on? There's a tiny space marine? Yeah, in one of the pictures I'm looking at, there's, you know, these kids are standing up at either head height or slightly taller than an ultramarine. Oh my god. What the heck is going on?
00:34:06
Speaker
That's the actual scale of, say, the 40k by the old space marine models. That's like the scale they've tried to match up with these kids. Why is that child emulating that they've got a robotic arm? Oh god, they've just doodled all of themselves with circuitry. Oh, omnisci be praised.
00:34:30
Speaker
do you see what I mean? No. How? In all the episodes, I know we've only done two before, but in all the episodes where we talk about, you know, living in these particular worlds, yeah, I'm not like exaggerating or trying to be edgy, like all these worlds are dark and grim and you wouldn't survive. I genuinely
00:34:50
Speaker
There are some hoarders out here. That actually takes us on perfectly to what nasty griplies that you do encounter out there. Because of course, we mentioned before, we have the Necrons who are the, basically, terminators of the world. Terminators meet Egyptians, essentially. I liked them best when they didn't talk back and they just shot you.
00:35:13
Speaker
I think that's probably the motto of the Imperium. I liked it better when they didn't talk back to me. When the killer robots start showing emotions and feelings, no. Well then again, that's what happened with Terminator Dark Fate. I mean, it's happened before. Something, something, the future's not set. God damn it.
00:35:35
Speaker
But of course you've got them if you're lucky, because I feel as if they're probably some of the least egregious ones you could encounter. Unless you're on the world. Oh yeah, then you get a Gears of War situation. Get off my lawn. Essentially, yeah. Get off my pyramids and you'll look down and go, what pyramids? Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Please don't kill me. Please don't blast me into green jelly, please. So of course you've got them, and speaking of green jelly, you've of course got one of the, probably the funnest
00:36:04
Speaker
antagonist, that of course being the orcs, who speak in a very cockney kind of way and they are a lot of fun. Their whole thing is they're just ushering people essentially and it's basically once they invade your planet, that's it, there's really no salvaging it, you can get it down to acceptable levels of infestation but you can't really get rid of them as much as far as I know.
Key Antagonists in Warhammer 40k
00:36:27
Speaker
No, no, you are correct, because as soon as you kill an orc, it starts releasing spores. And as you say, once they're infected, unless you thoroughly purge the planet, you are not going to get rid of them. So you will have regular outbreaks of effectively feral orcs until you're incredibly unlucky and a warband drops down to reunite them. Then you've got more problems. And if you've ever played the, because I know you and I have played it, but if you played the space marine fortacade game,
00:36:54
Speaker
Then you play as a space marine that has a very meaty gun called a boater, and the boater essentially fires what is like a mini artillery round essentially through all of these orcs. The orcs are mainly the antagonists, don't get me wrong there's another one that we will get on to, but these orcs are just relentless. They keep coming and coming and there's small ones, there's big ones, there's of course the warchief as you said who's just
00:37:21
Speaker
this massive orchid horned and all of this Mad Max paraphernalia is the best way I can describe it. You know he's got like the engines coming out his back, he's got the metal mask on, it's really cool. He's all shiny and chrome. Space Marie!
00:37:38
Speaker
They're so cool. They're a lot of fun. But the ones that are kind of less fun are, you might have heard us say, oh, there's elves in this world. They're probably one of the worst races to be captured by. See, this is the thing. If we were living in the 40k world, I feel as if you and I would definitely be hiding in fear if we saw anything with a pointy ear.
00:37:59
Speaker
It depends. If they're wearing white armour, it's okay. If they're wearing dark armour with whips, chains and anything else like that, then yeah, just put that lasgun to your head right now.
00:38:10
Speaker
Yeah, you might as well, because here's the thing that makes me a bit worried when kids are reading the Warhammer adventure books and thinking, gee willikers, I wish I was in this universe to explore. No you don't, kid. No you don't. Because the Dark Eldar are quite possibly one of the probably one of the more aged, sadomasochistic space elves. Essentially, there's no other way to describe them.
00:38:35
Speaker
They basically, they revel in torture and I'm pretty sure they had a very, how to put this in family friendly terms, they had a very intense rumpy bumpy section that caused a chaos god to get spawned. Am I right in saying that?
00:38:51
Speaker
Are you sure you're not writing these kids books? I'm gonna have to, that's right. You know, Games Workshop called me. But yeah, the Elder got to the point where the population density grew to a high enough level that yes, there was a mass psychic event and the creature, they, them, she, he, the Prince of Pleasure and Excess, Slaanesh, was formed and a large chunk of the Elder population just died and what's left split into two factions, the Elder and the Dark Elder.
00:39:20
Speaker
and the Elder believe that they can somehow survive and maybe rebuild their ancient empire and the Dark Elder, they are more corrupted by Slaanesh than they'd like to believe. I think the best way to describe it is, I think it's from community, I could be wrong, but as you know that gif of the guy who goes out to get pizza and then he comes back in and suddenly everything's on fire.
00:39:42
Speaker
And he's just left horrified holding the pizza. That's pretty much what the elders are versus dark elders are. They're like, the elders go out for pizza, they come back and they're like, what the hell happened here? And they're like, um, I wrote a body out. They're like, I don't know. What did you do to the dining room? We turned into a torture pit. Why did you turn into a torture pit? What's happened to the kitchen? Oh, we're using that for blood sacrifices. Wait, where are you getting the blood? Wait, where are the neighbours? Where are the neighbours? And then a torture pit. Fell in the pit. They're in the hole.
00:40:13
Speaker
I'm glad you got that, my friends, by the way. Of course, you've got the Eldar, which is a whole can of worms in itself. You've got the tinninids, as we mentioned, who are, if there's any Halo fans out there, well, maybe not akin to the Flood, but they're very much a beast hive kind of. In fact, you know what they're more like? They're more like the bugs from Starship Troopers. They're more like the arachnids.
00:40:37
Speaker
More sentient I would say. Well there are only like key parts of it that are sentient and those are the hive creatures that are what are they called synapse creatures they're the ones that can pass on the will of the hive mind which is basically it's a perpetual advert for just eat and other takeaway services it's just yeah okay there's a planet there
00:40:55
Speaker
Yeah, anyone else want something from it? Because they are basically space locusts that will evolve and adapt to anything you throw at them. And whenever you lose forces, they will eat the biomass of the forces you have lost, take them back to their biodigester pools and use that biomass to make more tyranids. So for everyone you lose, they get more and they adapt, evolve, improvise and overcome in the worst ways possible. So what you're saying as they do cycle?
00:41:20
Speaker
Yes, they are the ultimate recyclers. They're very good at reducing carbon emissions. However, they're very bad for the environment because they also eat the environment. Yeah, that's a downside. We're going to have to work on that. Choke up some ideas. Brainstorm a wee bit and things. A big can of bug spray? Yeah, exactly. Bug spray.
00:41:41
Speaker
I could just imagine like a Death Star size box for it, that'd be amazing. Well the funny thing is there was an Inquisitor, I believe it was Cryptman, I might be wrong, but he had an idea of throwing a giant, I think it was an orbital promethium refinery which is fuel at this hive fleet and it detonated and it did a lot of damage to the fleet so he repeated the trick and threw another one in there. The Tyranids learned, caught it and threw it back and yes there was much devastation to be had by all though so they're smart.
00:42:08
Speaker
They're definitely not as mindless as I think the Imperium think they are, because that is kind of the thing with the Imperium, we think, for a society that is very militaristic they would have learned a thing of too. And don't get me wrong, some do. That's all about the dogma.
00:42:24
Speaker
Oh, that's a whole other section to go in. Oh, yeah. Well, leave that like that another day, but I know what you mean, yeah. If it fails, try, try, try, try again, you filthy-headed dude. The Imperium has this thing called the Imperial Truth, and anything that deviates from the Imperial Truth stops existing. So if you have fought orcs and you are saying orcs are really cunning and strong, and yeah, the tactical imperialis is rubbish, and it does, wait, commiser, why are you pointing that boulder at me? Oh, yeah. I won't go into too much detail. We'll save that for another episode, because I can talk for England on that.
00:42:52
Speaker
The Imperium are very backwards thinking in a lot of ways for legal reasons, that's a joke commissar, please put down your bolter. I'll see you in the penal legions my friend. I'm just looking as the red panda lawyer slowly lifted his bolter. Wait wait wait, why did you give the red panda lawyer a bolter?
00:43:08
Speaker
Look, in my defence, it was a good idea at the time. Now, I don't know what time it was, but it was a good time, that's all I'm saying. Hey, hold this. Oh my God, who's got the gun? But speaking of a faction, and this is where we get into very controversial territory with the 40k fandom, the opposite of the Imperium somebody said. I know what you're going to say. Yep, it is the blue skins themselves, the Tau Empire. They were described to me when I got into it as space weeps.
00:43:38
Speaker
So people who are obsessed with mech suits and looking cool and sleek, and a lot of people just have context for any non-fans out there. The reason a lot of people don't like them is one of the main reasons anyway is that they don't really fit the same aesthetic.
00:43:56
Speaker
So with the Imperium of Man, they are very gothic in their art design. They fight against creatures that are very gritty and just really horrible. There are things that would fit into a gothic setting. You've got demons, you've got elves, you've got torture chambers, you've got the orcs and everything, but then the town come along and it's like Baby's First Empire almost. And there
00:44:20
Speaker
No one can understand them, but did you feel the same way when you heard about the Tao?
00:44:37
Speaker
and it gets attacked by some space marines from an undesignated chapter the ethereal which is basically a tower leader gets captured and you are part of a military force deployed to recover the leader because the tower they live or die by their ethereals like the morale damage alone if an ethereal were to die is monumental and so you're fighting imperial guards through the trenches on ships and you eventually fight space marines and then
00:45:03
Speaker
There's a wonderful twist, and so spoiler alert, yeah, skip this section if you don't want to hear spoilers for a game that hasn't been made in 20 years. Turns out the Inquisitor that launched the raid is corrupted by Chaos, and the reason he did that was to try and sow a war between the Imperium and the Tau, and to learn to see if the Tau can be corrupted by the forces of Chaos, which as we know now because the law, they can't.
00:45:27
Speaker
because they don't really possess a presence in the warp. The Tau I see them as basically as you say it's a fledgling empire so they're rather naive they are all too trusting all too quickly but their technological edge that they have is amazing like they've got these things called broadside battle suits which have got rail guns that can punch through a lot of imperial llama
00:45:48
Speaker
but at the same time they don't have the numbers that the imperial guards, the titans and the diptus astardis have. Correct me if I'm wrong with this fact but is it not true that the tau used to be like a very primitive species and then a warp storm flew through the planet and then suddenly it like aged them up significantly? See I've heard multiple things
00:46:10
Speaker
I've heard that idea. I've also heard that the ethereals effectively uplifted them, and that's why they're held in such high regard. But off the top of my head, I don't know which is canon or not. All I know is that they are a very naive race because they're so young, but that would actually make sense if they were forcefully rapidly evolved.
00:46:27
Speaker
Again, it goes back to my point of the fact that the 40k lower is very loose, you could say. It's not very sturdy, I suppose, is the right word. It's in flux. Yeah, exactly. It's not going to be a solid thing. They keep changing bits and pieces, especially with the lanius pius.
00:46:46
Speaker
were brought up early as well, you know, they replaced that, they replaced certain origins, so these are things that, you know, it has to constantly evolve, you know, which is all fair and good, but it kind of makes it hard to pinpoint certain things, especially with the town, because I was going to say it almost reminds me of, and again I'm going to piss off a lot of 40k fans' apologies, but do you remember that episode of The Simpsons and I'm going way back, but during the episodes it was a treehouse of horror
00:47:13
Speaker
where we accidentally grow a civilised society based off of our tooth. I vaguely recall that, and don't they have a self-destructive war or something along those lines? Yeah, because it's like she puts her tooth into like this. I think it's like a thing of co-lot. It's a Petri dish, isn't it? Yeah, it's like a Petri dish, but she puts like some co-lot. She puts something into it, but I can't remember what it is. An inanimate carbon rod! Oh, hold the rod!
00:47:38
Speaker
but they end up evolving from this very primitive society in this petri dish to this civilized society that has all these warships and things and they're very futuristic and that's almost what it reminds me of if that is the core canon. It's just a massive time skip in a couple of hours because one of the backstories I did here, and again I don't know if this is still canon but it was like a
00:48:01
Speaker
Maybe it was an imperial ship or a trading ship or something going by and they saw they were very primitive and then the warp storm came and then left and all of a sudden, oh no, there's a society there that's fully armed, very futuristic and everything and now they are a threat to the Imperium.
00:48:17
Speaker
And as she said, you brought up a very good point that this is a very young race, so they are more willing to reach their hand out to anyone who wants to join
The Imperium's Extremes and Chaos Threats
00:48:27
Speaker
them. Bad idea, bad idea. But the listeners at home, you might think, oh, the town must be really good. But to borrow a phrase from, you know the phrase I'm going to say from Hot Fuzz, everything you do for the town empire is for the greater good. Stop it.
00:48:43
Speaker
Yeah, of course. Lots of humans will go there, but if you want to keep up your life there, you have to do what you're best at. So one of the examples I saw was there's certain breeds of town that are very good, because of their bone density and things like that, they're very good at flying and operating the warships. But if the pilot jumped off one day and was like, oh, I want to open up a bakery, then the ethereals essentially on the council or whatever would go, no, that's not for the great. I could get back in that spaceship.
00:49:13
Speaker
They're not the best, and I have heard rumours, I don't know if this is Imperial propaganda, but I have heard rumours that if you join them as a human, then they castrate you. But I don't know if this is introduced after the fact that people were saying, oh, the Tower too nice. So they're like, okay, we'll throw in some castration into the Lord. It could also just be Imperial propaganda that is mentioned and spread on border worlds with the Tao Empire. Although those border worlds get really fortified after the recent border skirmishes that have happened, especially in the wake of high
00:49:43
Speaker
fleet. Oh no, I can't remember which high fleet it was, but there was a segment of a fleet that drifted between imperial and tower controlled worlds and both sides had said, oh yeah, yeah, we'll help you defend the world. Yeah, yeah, we'll help look after you and support you if the tyrannids come, but both sides had their fingers crossed behind their back because of course, why would they ring the dinner bell? Politics wise, it is very much like Game of Thrones on the way.
00:50:07
Speaker
the sense that everybody is crossing their fingers hoping that the other side doesn't engage first. And obviously, if they do, they have no real issues, do they, with filling the trigger and being like, oh, well, he's a heretic. Blow up the planet. And even the Imperium especially, they've got protocols called the exterminatus where they just blow up a planet. That's it. Just, bam, press the button. That's it. You can no longer use those models. That world you called home? Nah.
00:50:34
Speaker
god yeah they do that in extreme cases when either the turn it's approaching and they effectively try and make a buffer so they can't replenish their stock as it were so they will just turn worlds to ash because there's no biomass for them to harvest and their fleets can get whittled down
00:50:51
Speaker
Or if those wonderful, tricksy powers of chaos start popping up left, right and centre, then they have to stop it from spreading. And I feel as if that's the perfect place to jump on to the final antagonist. I mean, there are minor antagonists, you know. There's like the Gene Steelers as well, and there's all the Necromunda stuff and things. But before you jump on to chaos, that actually leads very nicely to this Warhammer adventure comic page that I've been looking at.
00:51:18
Speaker
which I've just I've had this one loaded up, but I've been trying to find a way to talk about it without rapidly derailing it. And since we're talking about chaos, so this one is called the plague of the Nurglings. Now, Nurgle is the chaos god of life, of death, pestilence, decay, and
00:51:38
Speaker
He is a, it is a rather jolly creature, but it makes every single disease in existence, everything. And it will make diseases that, oh yeah, you found a cure for it this one time, but now that it's adapted, taken the cure that you have made and made it worse, it's basically like super bugs amped up to 111 and they've broken the dial. And they have made a kids comic about a group of children fighting off against the forces of chaos.
00:52:06
Speaker
against the forces of Nurgle specifically, which make diseases and poxies and all sorts of horrible things that make space marines double take. What on earth have they done with this adventure's comic?
00:52:17
Speaker
I just, looking at the cover, they're in for a really bad time. They're just surrounded by nurglings and they have, they're on any corpse slain there yet, but we will see. Oh my God, they fight against orcs as well. How? How are these kids surviving? Wait, necrons? Jean Stewart, Tao, necrons, and Norco, as you said. Oh, my brain.
00:52:39
Speaker
It's a whole series here, by the way. For anyone who doesn't believe me, look at Warhammer Adventures. Honestly, it is. I haven't read them personally, so I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that maybe there's some, I don't want to say creativity, it's for kids obviously, but there's some kind of believability that they shoot something and then run away, but it seems like the last franchise you would
00:53:03
Speaker
They've made the gene stealers look cartoony. I mean, to be fair, they were always cartoony. Okay, but the gene stealer is a deep dive time. The gene stealers are a subversive branch of the terranid organism that infects people with a piece of DNA code that slowly subverts them and all previous generations, also all subsequent generations into gene stealer hybrids. Why have they made it cartoony? That's like putting googly eyes on a xenomorph.
00:53:31
Speaker
Well, would it help? Would it help if I said that the audiobook was read by David Tennant, according to Amazon? There's an audiobook about it? Yeah, the Gene Stiller book for Warhammer Adventures was read by David Tennant and
00:53:46
Speaker
One of the other ones, which I think, oh right, okay, that's more of the Age of Sigmar. That's read by Billy Piper. Wait, hold on, they're in the Age of Sigmar as well? Yeah, well it's a big company. Oh man, I hope they don't run into Skaven. Yeah, for anyone who doesn't know, the Age of Sigmar is like the fantasy equivalent. Don't worry, one day we will get into that. Yes, yes, we just talk, discuss them, yes.
00:54:07
Speaker
But going back to Chaos, of course, and the wonderful, wonderful Chaos-ness that follows, this is the main reason why you don't want to be in the 40 key universe. I mean, obviously other than the Totalitarian
00:54:21
Speaker
period.
00:54:38
Speaker
So you might think, how can it get any worse than this? How can it possibly get any worse than that? And going back to something worth talking about at the very beginning, demons. Demons. That is literally all I can say about this. It is basically the opposite of mankind. It is the darker versions, the darker impulses. And say on the one hand, see if this was a series that
00:55:02
Speaker
did dive into those themes a lot more. Like, don't get me wrong, there's a wealth of fiction books that do talk about these, and that's cool. Don't get me wrong, that is really cool. But for a setting like 40k, most of them come across as just demons, really. Like literal demons, and demons in power armor, gods demons. As you alluded to before, you've got Slaanesh, which is the horrible, horrible, should-not-be end. So much so that I think Games Workshop are trying to recall them in a way
00:55:30
Speaker
See, I'm not sure they're going to be able to do that because they already retconned one chaos god out of existence. Did they? Yes, Malal. He was the god of chaos undivided, and basically he was seen as a threat by the other four pantheons of chaos, I guess you could say, and was disposed of in the lore. The other ones then, other than Selnesh, are Norco, who, as you say, teased the pestilence god. You've got Korn, who is the embodiment of war, because it is like the four horsemen of the apocalypse, isn't it? Aye.
00:56:00
Speaker
roughly. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't think there was like a horseman in the apocalypse that had an orgy on top of a horse. Okay, I will say that. There's one. The apocalypse horseman of Horny. Yeah, exactly. I mean, well, if he's right in the unicorn, that's a couple of other stories, but... Amanda, shoot him. Shoot him.
00:56:18
Speaker
should have. You've listened to these episodes, you knew what you were getting yourself into. But yeah, you've got Korn, who is the embodiment of war and everything, and he has the crusades and all that jazz. You've got Zichu, you mentioned at the very beginning, he is more a calculating
00:56:36
Speaker
masterminds. Yeah, you've got all these different gods that are very bizarre. They try to warp humanity. They try to influence people at their lowest points. But as far as I remember, and I could be totally wrong in this, it's only really humanity that fall to chaos. And again, I could be totally wrong in this, but I've never seen a
00:56:58
Speaker
The reason why Tao don't fall, or I don't believe they fall, is because they don't have a presence in the warp. Tyranids can't because they're just bio-organic machines that don't think for themselves unless a hive mind is guiding them. You've got the Dark Elder which have already fallen, and you've got the Orcs which worship their own deities, but the Chaos forces call them abhorrents because they can't get corrupted by the forces of Chaos either. So yeah, humanity is effectively the main
00:57:24
Speaker
feeding source of the forces of chaos. We have their main personifiers in the realm of souls, which is the warp, all your joys, your fears, your hatreds, your phobias, your pleasures in life, your cunning, conniving schemes, your sense of self honor and self worth.
00:57:42
Speaker
everything that makes you you feeds a demon or a chaos deity of some variety in the warp, consciously or unconsciously. So you have got humanity, which is an empire of a million worlds with billions and billions of people basically keeping the realm of souls well populated in everything, emotions and thoughts. So yeah, we're very easily corrupted.
00:58:05
Speaker
I was going to say, next time you go out and you're not like, you think, oh, I'm going to have a great time, I'm going to be proud of myself, I'm going to be... Slenish. Envious. Like, you're going to be proud of yourself for whatever commit sin in the traditional sense. Just think, that sin, that's going to feed a hungry, hungry demon in the warp. And, I mean, he's got his tablecloth out, he's got his knife and fork. He's like, oh, what kind of sin am I going to eat today? Oh, pride. Oh, lust. Oh. Bottle of souls on the left, please. Oh, that's a good vintage. Yes.
00:58:34
Speaker
Now all I'm saying is that would make probably a more suitable entry into Chaos for kids rather than... You know, because you could dress it up like McDonald's. You know how they have their own Chaos Gods. They've got like Ronald McDonald, Grimace and all of that. I just dressed them up as Chaos Gods and that's it. You've got a new Warhammer adventure series. And thank you Satsu, if we are in the 40k universe, you've just made a whole new plethora of Chaos Gods. Thank you very much. Now we've got a nightmarish clown creature that's not an Eldar.
00:59:05
Speaker
I never thought about creating a clown. God damn it, you're part of the problem!
00:59:11
Speaker
Oh God, don't you start going zinch on me now. I mean, if any of these factions want to reach out to us, you know. No us. There is no us. You. No us. No chance to have a PR department. No, it's just you and the warp. You stare into the warp and sometimes it stares back. The corruption. Yeah, I'm pulling us back on topic. Yeah, please. Go away, scary Ronald McDonald nightmare fuel. Indeed you are not loving it, but sorry.
00:59:39
Speaker
It! That's what it is! Okay, right, I'm gonna detour back just in case it starts climbing through my window. The horrible thing about Chaos Corruption is how subtle it is. In one of the stories I'm listening to, this primary marine is fighting through these Death Guard, which are space marines that have fallen to the forces of Nurgle, and he's
00:59:56
Speaker
slaughtering them and his body is flooding with the adrenaline and the chemicals that his suit provides or his combat armor provides and he's really getting into the fight and it isn't until basically the Primaris equivalent of a librarian walks over after the engagement and says you need to calm yourself and you need to rein yourself in because you are risking corruption and the Primaris me went I'm not gonna fall to chaos I fought chaos before like yes
01:00:20
Speaker
exactly, but you don't know whose corruption you're going to fall under. We're fighting the forces of Nergal, but you were showing the signs of corn." And the primary screen was like, ah, ah, yeah, huh. And so he had to basically rein in his bloodlust for the rest of the fight. And that's how dangerous it is. You could be doing something really laudable, and then it would just get slowly twisted over time. The Fortehi universe could definitely be summarised as the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
01:00:48
Speaker
every single faction may be bar the tinder that they know what they're doing, but every faction seems to think they're doing what is best for their faction. Whereas Chaos, I mean as the name implies, Chaos is the in-between between these morals and ideals and things and you're completely right, it is just so easy for them to twist and no pun intended warp. Ha ha.
Humanity's Struggle and Resilience
01:01:12
Speaker
For the 40K joke, twist and warp these ideals and these thoughts.
01:01:17
Speaker
because you see a lot of, there's a lot of memes for 40k where you see a lot of people who are like, yeah, they immediately shoot someone for reading heretical material or maybe even touching heretical trinket or something like that and then they'll
01:01:32
Speaker
had that's ridiculous. You think, oh, why would you just shoot a man, you know, as a life, not as meaningful in the 41st millennium. But at the same time, if you think about it, and again, I won't obviously justify that, but this is the world where literally you could be having a cup of tea, just sitting minding your own business and then a port
01:01:50
Speaker
opens up and all of these hell demons pour in because your friend Jim, I dunno, decided to read a book about chaos and now the world screws because of Jim. Thanks Jim, you ruined my life. You can see why people are a little bit touchy when it comes to chaos in particular, because at least with the other factions they're a little bit more predictable.
01:02:11
Speaker
usually they send in space marines for the orcs, the orcs are very… they're more like barbarians. Necrons, they have a way of fighting, the Dark Eldar are sneaky, but they still have their tactics. With Chaos it's kind of up in the air because first of all you think Jesus Christ is Chaos and then you have to factor in but what Chaos am I fighting at? Am I fighting the smelly one? Am I fighting the raging just one? Am I fighting the sneaky one with the thousand sons who ironically enough they're also space Egyptians?
01:02:40
Speaker
Yep, the rubrics. There's a lot of space Egyptians at this rate of affairs. I didn't think of that. I'm sensing a theme. I'm sensing a big theme here, but yeah, I mean, they are cool. And that also reminds me that I need to paint those up. Thank you for that. Yeah, I was going to say, speaking of intentions, check thy discord goods out. And that effectively sums up the Tyranid's intentions as you were talking about, which is we've
01:03:02
Speaker
finally deciphered the thought patterns of the Tyranid Hive mind and it's just a picture of Pac-Man going across the galaxy. That is fantastic. I'm reading that myself and that is absolutely amazing. That is so true. Yeah, they eat and they eat and they eat.
01:03:17
Speaker
What I will say is the 40k fandom as a whole are so on point. See when it comes to memes? They are just so on top of everything that's amazing. On that note though, to summarise our thoughts really on this. Again, on the 40,000 reasons why you shouldn't live in this universe. Have you got any final thoughts?
01:03:39
Speaker
Yes, I got a few thoughts and I'd like to end on a little extract from the 40k, one of the books that I read. But yeah, my final thought is that even in the 41st millennium, in the 40k universe, you think that, you know, living in the Imperium is bad and everything and that eventually at some point you can look forward to the sweet release of death. You know, that's it, that's gone. No. Bookers in the 40k universe. Yes, you do have a soul and
01:04:05
Speaker
Where does it go when you die? It goes to the warp. So when you die, everything that makes up you suddenly goes to a literal hellscape. Basically, yeah, someone rings the dinner bell at that demon table that Satsu was talking about after he's picked his vintage wine of fallen souls. And you're the finger food, as it were. But out of curiosity, what happens to a chaos demon that gets killed? Does he get recycled into the warp?
01:04:29
Speaker
Yes, if he is killed in the material realm or banished, he just reappears back in the warp. The only way that that can effectively, that cycle can be broken. There was one instance of it where this blade, that was an incredibly corruptive, chaotic blade. I can't remember the name of it, unfortunately, but the Emperor, he got his best custodian guard. I think it was the leader of the custodian guard, his right hand man. And he plunged the sword into his chest.
01:04:55
Speaker
and told him to run into the chaos portal so that way the sword would get banished to the warp but the demon would not be freed from the sword and so that poor poor custodian guard is stuck in the warp
01:05:07
Speaker
with a blade through him, a blade that is corrupted to hell and back, that he's literally in, that's whispering to him, for all eternity. That sounds delightful. Aye. On that note, would you mind if I finish up with this extract? Absolutely. Go for it. Hopefully I won't fumble my words, but this sums up brilliantly what you were talking about in regards to the Imperial Guard and how they are just humans. You would laugh, monster, but let me remind you.
01:05:33
Speaker
within that weak sack of meat and bone, uncared for by his god and wept for by none, beats the heart of a man, a human heart that carries with it the strength and courage of all mankind.
01:05:45
Speaker
Within that sack of meat festooned with thin armour and weapons only powerful in numbers, beats the heart of a man, and for ten thousand years the hearts of men have beaten strongly in defiance of your so-called ruinous powers. For ten thousand years the hearts of men have stood, united against a galaxy that despises them for no reason, saved that they have the audacity to not lay down and die.
01:06:09
Speaker
For ten thousand years your black crusades have been pushed back, beaten down and made a mockery of by weak sacks of flesh with cheap weapons and disposable equipment. For that weak sack of flesh that you so gleefully mock is no super soldier, no immortal warrior, no creature cursed by chaos like you. He is a man, an imperial guardsman drawn from some forgotten corner of the Imperium to fight for his species and for the safety of the people he loves. He is a factory worker,
01:06:39
Speaker
a farmer, a storekeeper, a father, a brother, and a son. A mere man, and against creatures like you. Teeming and numberless, powered by the very wills of thirsting gods, he holds the line, and he has held the line for ten thousand years. So, what's your excuse, monster? Man, I got into that.
01:07:05
Speaker
And if you would like to buy Toaster's audiobook, you can buy it on amazon.com for us. That was a great reading to be fair. And it does summarise how, I suppose, human this world seems. And that sounds like a really weird thing to say after saying, oh there's orcs, there's elves, and there's all of these horrible monsters.
Conclusion and Reflections on Warhammer 40k
01:07:27
Speaker
And at the end of the day, as people trying to get by essentially, as the humans that make up this world, that try to basically defend themselves against the forces of evil, and even against their own kind, because there are a lot of things that obviously we haven't touched on.
01:07:44
Speaker
There's like hundreds and hundreds of things we could touch on. Like, for example, the Grey Knights who you might think, oh, they're on our side. But apparently if you see a Grey Knight, which is a space marine chapter, they are sole purpose is to purge demons in chaos and they're supposed to purge you as a whole. So if you see them going by, you're like, oh, dear, no, this isn't going to end well for me. You've got the Addictus Suratus, who are basically the female version of space marines, kind of. They are brilliant technicality.
01:08:13
Speaker
Yes, they really are, but again, that's a story for them. You've got just so much in this vast universe, but I think I speak for both of us when I say that this is probably not the universe you want to settle down in. This is not the universe that you want to stay. Yeah, I will have a holiday home here. I'll have a couple of cabins in like an agricultural world or maybe a nice wee bungalow in a fortress world. I'll take the Star Trek universe anytime.
01:08:41
Speaker
Ah, old trick or new trick? Oh, I'm thinking of Patrick Stewart here. It's got to be, got to be old trick. I'll take that because I was going to say if you were going for new trick, well, I say that, but then there's the Borg, which that would actually make a very good next episode. Oh, what have I done? Yeah.
01:08:59
Speaker
On that note, something something resistance is futile for legal reasons, that's a joke. No jokes aside, Toaster, thank you so much for joining me in the 41st millennium to talk about this very weird and wonderful franchise. It's been an absolute pleasure and you always take me to the nicest of hostile war zones.
01:09:17
Speaker
Oh, of course, yeah. I mean, next time we'll venture through the neutral zone and I'm sure there'll be no problems with other types of elves in space. I swear, if you set me up for the co-buy Ashy Maru, I'm gonna be very upset. Well, I mean, that's neither here nor there, and as you're breaking up...
01:09:35
Speaker
As I try to disconnect the call, where can these lovely listeners at home find your content?
01:10:05
Speaker
I would just echo that. Definitely go check out those third years. A fantastic streamer, a fantastic friend, and all in all, a, dare I say, a rising star to be a bit cheesy. Are we talking about me here? Are you sure? But I hope so, unless there's a gene stealer behind you. I did wonder where those clothes came from. I wondered where my trousers went.
01:10:24
Speaker
Levi's and if you want to check out more content from ourselves then you can check out our website podpage.com forward slash chat tsunami I also want to shout out our fantastic patrons of course your self toaster is one of them and Sonia as well thank you both so much for yeah supporting the channel and without any further ado thank you all so so much for listening to this episode stay safe stay awesome stay hydrated and don't go committing any heresy
01:10:53
Speaker
Beep boop.