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Ep. 272 – r/christianmarriage: Massage Parlors of the Pud-Tugging Variety
199 Plays1 day ago
This week we’re combing through the internet and offering some sage wisdom to the frustrated women of r/christianmarriage and r/christiandating! Then we’re discussing the arrest of the “holiest man alive,” missionary Daniel Savala. He recently pled guilty to abusing boys for decades, which some worry may tarnish his reputation. What a world, huh? However, Savala seems to be the tip of a horrifically large iceberg…
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Transcript
Introduction and Humorous Anecdotes
00:00:00
Speaker
you you know, the body is designed to like, cause it was, someone would always bring up, well, technically like it's good for you to release the crack in every once in a while. um And that you can't just keep all that come pent up inside your balls. So it would be like, yeah, but that's why, you know, you're, you can't be held accountable for your dreams. And like, yeah, if it gets too backed up, you have a wet dream. And that's like, that's God's grace. Essentially. That's God. Lansing the boil. He's like,
00:00:30
Speaker
it's this It's God's pressure relief valve. He's he's just popping your little groin zit. He just flicks the balls a little bit in your sleep.
00:00:42
Speaker
it You feel a slight tug and you're like, oh, you better get up and change your boxers middle night.
Chaotic Household Stories
00:01:06
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Growing Up Christian. I'm Casey. I'm Sam. And I thought about you this week because somebody told me Oh, you talk about me all the time.
00:01:17
Speaker
I do. You're never far from my mind. But i one of my friends, he has... He has a lot of kids. He's a guy that I work with and stuff. And, you know, he's always got like crazy stories about something at their house because they got kids, they got pets, they got everything, you know, and he was just talking about like some of like the chaos of everything that happens around there and stuff.
00:01:40
Speaker
And he told me a a thing that i've i've never heard anybody I've never heard of anybody's... This happening to anyone before. But okay he was saying that ah his his son is like... ah He seems like... He's a little rascal. He's always like causing trouble, poking the bear.
00:02:01
Speaker
think he likes to... He likes to tell lies and stuff like that. Like, he just seems like kind of a character, you know? Yeah, yeah. I love kids who... realize at an early age that lying is fun.
00:02:15
Speaker
It's ah it gets annoying. Like I work. I mean, I work with kindergartners and first graders and it's just like a bug that hit some of them where they'll just lie all the time about anything. Like I'll ask kids how their weekend were and they're like, good. I was in Disney World and I was like, no, no, you weren't.
00:02:35
Speaker
Don't let's not start. Let's not start off like this. And they're like I was like, what was your favorite ride? And they're like, uh, okay.
00:02:47
Speaker
Yeah. He just based on the stories that he's told me about his, his son, it sounds like the kid likes to just poke at him.
00:02:57
Speaker
Yeah. You know, like he's kind of a mama's boy a little bit like, and he just messes with his dad all the time. He's like, six or something. know, he's pretty young. Got that Epidus complex coming on is what it is.
00:03:11
Speaker
ah So he was telling me, he said it's happened a couple of times recently where he like goes in the bathroom and he's like, Danny, did you wipe your butt? He's like, yes. And he goes, you did?
00:03:25
Speaker
Yes. And he goes, well, there's a huge turd in here and there's no toilet paper. don't know. He's like, goat Go wipe. Go wipe your butt. And ah so he keeps doing this where he just like leaves just like a turd in the toilet with the lid open and stuff. But they also have three dogs. And now he's had, I think he said twice now, one of his dogs has pulled a turd out of the toilet and brought it into the living room.
00:03:55
Speaker
That's so gross. It's so gross. Yeah. It's so avoidable. She's bobbing for apples. was like April would lose her mind. She would burn the rug if that happened.
00:04:13
Speaker
She still doesn't know that you don't wipe sometimes? She's totally
Challenges of Raising Young Kids
00:04:17
Speaker
unaware. You flush the evidence ahead of time. i've been I've been waddling around pooping for like 39 years now. I have a pretty good idea of whether or not it needs it.
00:04:26
Speaker
Yeah, you could tell when it comes out clean sometimes and you just know you're fine. Dude, but it's so funny. Like umm um i'm operating the impression that the kids that I work with attempt to wipe their butts. But like my my son, i don't think he wiped his own butt.
00:04:45
Speaker
Like, I don't think he because. I don't know if it was short arms. He couldn't wipe. He took him so long to figure out how to wipe. And um and it sucks as a parent because you're like, they need to learn how to do this. But also you just don't want your kid walking around with like shit on his ass, you know? So you're like, yeah, be the stinky kid. Yeah. But there are kids at my at my school where you I'll sit next to them.
00:05:08
Speaker
And you're like, oh, my God, like it's it's not like kids. It's like this kid took a dump and just didn't wipe good. It just smells like shit. And you just have to, like, suppress your gag reflex and act like everything's normal. But ah with my son, I was always like, dude, what do you do at school? He's like, oh, I just don't poop.
00:05:30
Speaker
was like, what if you really have to poop? Because I haven't so far. Yeah.
00:05:36
Speaker
Oh, man. Yeah. Kids are funny. there was a There was a kid at my school who was kind of like the bad kid in like kindergarten, first grade. i went to It was when I was in public school in Georgia.
00:05:48
Speaker
And he was just like always in trouble. And he every day after lunch, he would have to take a dump. And like he couldn't be trusted with a hall pass because he would just like run amok in the hallway.
00:06:03
Speaker
So like they would make one of the boys stand outside the stall while he was taking a dump every day after lunch. And I only had to do it once, but he threw like dirty toilet paper over the stall at me. Oh, my God. What a savage.
00:06:18
Speaker
Dude, he was a menace. He's definitely in jail now. Yeah. Really? Wherever you are for just doing that when he was like 21. Like, no, now it's a crime, dude. It's not funny anymore. If your name like if your parents name you, Billy, like you are you're destined to be a cautionary tale.
00:06:39
Speaker
I only knew one Billy and he was not a great person. I worked with him for a short period of time. He had the deepest voice ever. um And he would just like, i mean, all you need to know about this person is... he would brag he He was bragging once about not showering for a week and meeting up with this girl in his car.
Inappropriate Behaviors and Social Awareness
00:07:06
Speaker
I'm pretty sure he said she was married and was like they would meet up and she would give him blowjobs. And... He hadn't showered and you he laughing. tell This is, you know, when I worked um at a warehouse, right? And some but some warehouse guys aren't the highest caliber, but a guy like him also thought it was ridiculous that he couldn't get a raise or be promoted. You know what i mean? Like this, right?
00:07:29
Speaker
They always have like that chip on their shoulder. But yeah, he was disgusting. He was a pig and I hated him completely. Like you don't even like there, there are times in your life where you courtesy laugh. There's a lot of times I've laughed at things where I'm like, I regret that. I like, why, why am I concerned about their perceptions of like, a social, like interaction? Like, what You laugh and you're like, ha ha ha ha. And you're like that.
00:07:57
Speaker
I shouldn't have encouraged that. But it's not like awful. That one was one of those moments where you just go, that's disgusting. And you walk away. You don't. And if they're, oh, OK, bro. And they get all like attitude about it. It's like you're the one that just bragged about having a married woman suck your dirty dick in your car. Like that's not a good story, dude. Everyone in everyone hates you. Everybody who works with you hates you.
00:08:24
Speaker
Dude, if you got a smelly pecker, everyone is is rightfully looking down on you. it Disgusting. It's very disgusting.
Concert Experiences and Music Trends
00:08:33
Speaker
So i I was at a show the other night. um Bill Murray and the home team.
00:08:38
Speaker
ah Perfect lineup. the perfect lineup. Those are the only, most of what I listened to is a playlist I made of the, bit of the home team and Bill Murray's discography with a few other things thrown in. Like I, that's just what I listened to constantly. And show was fantastic. Um,
00:08:56
Speaker
And something that ah my friend and I were talking about, my Jesse, I went with Jesse. um He was on the show forever ago. But we were talking about, and you you go to shows here and there, and maybe they've changed. Some of the bands we like have gotten bigger, right? I mean, you go to something like Sleep Token, and you're going to get a real interesting crowd, an interesting mix. But like we were just, like there's so many people who really dress up for shows. um men and women alike, um you know, fish, I'm applying this to men and women, like fishnets, crop tops. I was surprised by the amount of fishnets and, you know, makeup shit like that. And you like, it's,
00:09:41
Speaker
it's not like a casual look. It's a very intentional look. And of course the scene has always had that, right? um We grew up as scene kids or scene kid adjacent. um So there was like the iron, you know, the straightened forward hair, things like that for dudes as well. But we were just like talking about how,
00:10:03
Speaker
For us, it was always like the idea of putting in any effort like that going to a show feels outlandish. Like going to a show was always you wear your favorite. You just wear a pair of jeans or shorts and then whatever band T-shirt you want to wear. But you don't wear the band T-shirt of the band you're going to see because then you just look weird. Like you that's not...
00:10:25
Speaker
You don't want to look like you care too much. And I think maybe that was the aesthetic of our time was like seeming like you didn't care. um You know, being near the front of the stage or the pit with your arms crossed and just nodding your head along, but not really.
00:10:40
Speaker
Certainly weren't smiling. You're kind of looking a little like straight faced or people looking tough like it was. But I feel like that has shifted so much. And now it's like you go to shows and you're like, this is a lot. People are really doing a lot for this.
00:10:56
Speaker
Metal shows, I feel like ah they have like a much broader appeal than they used to. it used to be like a very specific couple of groups of people that would show up for those. like You'd go see somebody like a mirror or something, and you were going to have like the scene kids in tight jeans and band t-shirts, studded belt. Then you'd have a couple of the kids that are like athletic shorts and the little string backpack that are going to... Oh, yeah, the Adidas.
00:11:22
Speaker
Like, yes, the drawstring bags, Umbra shoes or whatever. yeah And then um there was always like one older, quote unquote, punk guy who had stupid hair and ah in a a vest covered in like patches and spikes. Yeah.
00:11:41
Speaker
And big boots. And he always looked like a moron in the the pit and whatnot. Yeah, kicking people. Because everybody hates punks. That's the bottom line is like one thing everybody can agree on is that punk people are super lame and have been for a very long time Somebody was telling me about Mohawks the other day and they're like, my tattooist my tattoo artist has a Mohawk. It's pretty cool. And I'm like, no, it's not. Yeah, it's not. Mohawks don't.
00:12:12
Speaker
Yeah, I don't. I agree. I don't think ah Mohawks ever looked great. Not since we've been alive and cognizant. Yeah, the spiky ones, the dyed ones. Like, if you have that one, like, there are people who I'm sure are fine with them, but it's it's weird because for for a while, right, it was like this counterculture thing.
00:12:35
Speaker
And now counterculture is, it feels like it almost doesn't exist. There's just, like, trying too hard and then being yourself. And yeah I feel like when you see a Mohawk now, you're like...
00:12:47
Speaker
Oh, OK, we get it. We know your personality. It's cosplay. We know you hate your parents. Yeah, I feel like ah Mohawks were acceptably somewhat tolerable or cool when Fox Body Mustangs were in production.
00:13:04
Speaker
Once the Fox Body went out, Mohawk is now lame and you need to quit. Your car references mean nothing to me. If Jeremiah is listening, he'll understand. Yeah.
00:13:15
Speaker
First gen me out of Jeremiah. He's the only person laughing right now. He's like actually cackling. and That's all. He's going to tailor all of my jokes just to Jeremiah from now on.
00:13:30
Speaker
Um, but yeah, that was like the specific groups of people that would show up to shows back then. And now it's like a much broader group of people. I don't feel like there's as many of these like segmented little cultural groups like there were back then, you know, where it was like old metal guys, scene kids, punk dudes, you know, now it's kind of a big mix of everything that gets pushed around on TikTok, which is fine.
00:13:55
Speaker
I do enjoy, though, like my favorite thing nowadays is the like small town pseudo goth. Yeah, like I was at Walmart in my little town last week and a couple came in and the dude had on, you know, just whatever. But the girl that he was with, you know, they were young, like probably teens.
00:14:16
Speaker
And she had on like. just the most ridiculous outfit with like chains hanging all over the place. And it was like, but it was like, you know, look like a bunch of skull key chains from the, from like a truck stop.
00:14:30
Speaker
Yeah. You know, it was stuff like that where you're like, I don't I sometimes you see somebody dressed a certain way and you're like, there's a point of reference here where you looked at this and you were like, this is the look that I've been going for. Like, I've seen this elsewhere and this is cool. Yeah. But like when when small town kids try to do that, it just looks ridiculous. It's weird when you see it out of an element. Like if you were at like a Slipknot show, you'd be like, I expect this.
00:14:59
Speaker
Yeah. Out of the element like, you know, well, a Walmart count. I mean, Walmart is every element, I guess, but her Instagram handles goth baddie six, six, six.
00:15:10
Speaker
if Sleep token shows are definitely like ah that's a melting pot of bad. That's a melting pot of really bad clothing tastes. Yeah.
00:15:21
Speaker
Speaking of bad clothing tastes, one of the things I wanted to bring up before we get into the real meat of ah what we do here, you know, yeah we bring a lot of important stuff to the forefront. Just like that married lady, we're going to give you a little opportunity to you know, to to ponder the meat, maybe, maybe, you know, get a whiff. Yeah. We're really sinking your teeth into it. Smell the smegma.
00:15:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:46
Speaker
You can always count on that word to make you laugh. I love It is such a funny word. um But the opening band was a band called Gang. And I refused to step foot in the venue before they were done playing. Because they wore orange jumpsuits and green ski masks. And I checked out like a new single from them, and it was like rap rock. like It's like they're... Everything about it felt like, because look, there's a mass band epidemic right now and it needs to stop.
00:16:17
Speaker
um Sleep token got big. All right. You know, before that, and look, I like, I i like sleep token. i don't love, um aspects of the new culture it feels like that they've created to a degree but that's not their fault uh you know they played for 20 people for five years before they got big so like congratulations to them um but then you have the industry plant come out called president um yeah what is that guy's deal
00:16:50
Speaker
I don't know. Like, it's, I guess there are people who are in other bands. I don't know if his, I think his identity is probably known to a degree, but it felt like it was just riding the sleep token wave. I mean, production wise, style wise, there's a lot of similarities.
00:17:04
Speaker
And, and Yeah, it just felt like some some producer was like, let's put this all together and this will just be, ah you know, we'll just make our bag and go home. So, I mean, because they were a headliner before they had their you know third single out at um what was the festival? Yeah.
00:17:26
Speaker
Shit. It's living my mind. Anyway. yeah it It is like all of a sudden it's present everywhere. And I know. Yeah, I got it. I've gotten it to pop up on Spotify a few times and I'm like president and you click on it and you're like, they have one and a half million monthly listeners. Like I've never heard of this. Yeah, with with one. They had that with one song out. um And so I feel like people are trying to cash in on that. Rap rock is kind of having its a resurgence to a degree, um but not in its like the pure form, not in like not in the way that it was because everything comes back, but with a twist. um but this gang was was trash um i hated the single it was embarrassing and so i was at one of the uh my friend was that we went to we stopped by the home team merch table because my friend jesse knew the guy who was doing their merch table and so that was next to the gang one and i was listening on the conversations happening over there
00:18:28
Speaker
And again, green orange bright orange jumpsuit like and then the like bright green ski mask. It was just, and that's what they all wear. And they were wearing them at the merch table too. And then you know when we were at the show, like I turned around um and one of the dudes was right there still in his getup. And when we were at the merch table, I heard one of the dudes be like, all right, I'm going to go change.
00:18:51
Speaker
And like everything about it just feels like it's being forced on you in that maybe they have to like, like, I don't, I don't know who they are. It's like, is this a, is this a label choice? Is this an industry decision for them? Because it didn't even make sense that they're on this tour. Like, I don't know if the labels are similar or I mean, I'm connected in some way um where they're like, no, like this is the tour package, like Bill Murray, the home team and then rap rock gang. And it was it was towards the end of the home team set. They're like, you know, everyone pays homage to the bands that open. So it's like, you know, they say something like, oh, how did everybody like gang give it.
00:19:35
Speaker
It was like fucking crickets. It was like 10 people who were like, whoo. that was it You're like nobody. I don't think anyone cared about it. I don't. It feels like it's just being forced on us. It's like it's like a crunk core coming back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that feels like something they would you would dress that feels like the crunk core attire like that that you would do something like that. Yeah. Like this is broken side making a a resurgence. Yeah.
00:20:02
Speaker
So what was the other one blood on the dance floor with that? Yeah. I think the singer is like a rapist or something. Oh, well, I'm sure. ah But yeah, I don't know. i I mean, also, I know that I'm just getting old.
00:20:15
Speaker
And when I go in public arenas, all I can think about is what I don't like about most of the things around me. That's just what happens. You turn into a grump and I'm in my grump era big time.
00:20:26
Speaker
And I like it. i i' I have the most fun with my friends when we're just pointing out people. doing something i mean they're all there for the same reason because they like these bands and it's just like yeah it's hard not to it's just it's hard not to point out everything about people and be like did you see those people over there oh and then just kind of drop your jokes papa meat from uh meat canyon did a youtube video the other day about uh coachella like why coachella sucks and oh my god does it suck
00:20:57
Speaker
It looks awful.
Generational Views on Pornography
00:20:58
Speaker
It looks terrible. just Just like 3,000 people per port-a-potty and, you know, like ah Cisco bag chicken fingers for $40 and stuff. And like the tickets are, I mean, the tickets are like 600 bucks or something like that.
00:21:18
Speaker
I mean, it just looks terrible. It just doesn't appeal to me. And I bet you we've got people in the audience that that go to Burning Man. And like I can see, i mean, Burning Man is not my music festivals are not my thing at all. Yeah. But like I can see the appeal of Burning Man, especially like before it was just, ah you know, tech bro and concentration camp. Yeah. but ah Coachella just looks terrible.
00:21:46
Speaker
I don't know. There's just nothing looks appealing about it. It's it's literally just like the whole thing is just like a, ah you know, a moving backdrop for Instagram photos is what it seems like. Yeah.
00:21:59
Speaker
Yeah. Just everyone. It's like you spent all that money just to take a picture and something, some festival outfit, because there' there's the types of things you only wear to festivals. Remember for a while there, it was like all the always these like, uh,
00:22:14
Speaker
like cut and paste hot white girls sort of like stereotype. We're all wearing like feathered Indian hairdressers. Headdresses like sitting bull, long streaming like feathered dress.
00:22:31
Speaker
I missed that one apparently. It was good. Bring it back. Yeah. her real love Yeah. Why not? Why not bring back... ah It's funny. let's Let's take one more thing from those people. Yeah, that's what was going to Just one more thing. You don't even get a hat.
00:22:51
Speaker
they Just obliterate their culture entirely. oh boy. well So we have some ah we have some things that we want to get into. Today is kind of piecemeal, but we've got some...
00:23:04
Speaker
I just there's a few Reddit posts that just made me like like angry to read. yeah and We got to we got to jump in. i I feel like there was a bunch this week. Yeah, you sent me one and would like and then ah it was the Reddit post and then the text that you sent following it was so long I had to scroll to read it. That's how mad you were.
00:23:29
Speaker
Can I ah should we start with that one? Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. OK, this one is ridiculous. um Okay, so it's by Tiramisu and Ice Cream, and it says, this is in the Christian Marriage subreddit, why do men turn to porn?
00:23:46
Speaker
And these people have porn on the brain. It's all they think about. They ascribe every problem to porn, yeah especially anything remote, any problem that's remotely sexual. It's always porn. They all suggest it immediately in the comments.
00:24:01
Speaker
And it's ah it's like a lot of like 19 year old women, too. And it's like, where is this life experience that you're pulling all this like porn addiction, you know, brushes with porn addiction that you're telling, you know, accusing everyone of. I mean, it's what they talk about in the church, right? If you're active in church, everything goes back to that.
00:24:20
Speaker
And we know how much like pastors hate this current like the the up and coming like teen generation of like they they They have such a caricatured understanding of teens. And look, we all do that. Like, it's fun to hate on the generations below you.
00:24:44
Speaker
do it all the time. I actually try not to. Because I find it very annoying. And like, i you know, I feel like a lot of criticisms of millennials, which I am one, are pretty valid.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yes. I don't know. Millennials now like doing the same thing to zoomers and stuff. You're like, God, just shut up. Like, why are you going to do the exact same thing that like boomers did?
00:25:09
Speaker
You know? Yeah. But there is always generational. Don't do anything like boomers did. That's it. Yeah. How wrong could you go if you just the opposite? Never do anything like boomers did. Um,
00:25:21
Speaker
Boomers have a very like shaking your fist in the air. Kids these days. It's like no one wants to hear. you no one wants to hear a single complaint from that generation. They had it so fucking good. Yeah. Who who took some. What what did people take from you?
00:25:37
Speaker
You grew up in the greatest economy in world history. yeah And, you know, a lot of you made nothing of yourselves, even in those circumstances. Like, no one took anything from you.
00:25:47
Speaker
All this, like, I'm going to get mine and don't touch my stuff is, like, so ridiculous coming from that group of people. Yeah. If you're a boomer that's complaining about the lien on your house, just know that you're the problem. That's... Yeah, my bad.
00:26:03
Speaker
Okay, so it says... You've owned your house for 40 years and you're complaining and you still haven't paid it off and you're complaining about the taxes on it. yeah Maybe you shouldn't have taken out of $200,000 home ec loan.
00:26:17
Speaker
Now, I will say like some of the, the ah you know, insults I just threw out about like people blaming porn, like some of those may not apply to this lady. She may have some legitimate grievances here, but I think like the way it's portrayed and stuff is what kind of like, you know, just stuck with me.
00:26:36
Speaker
It says, I am a Christian wife, and like many of you have posted on here about the struggles we face, us Christian women sacrifice in the home to serve our husbands, respect them, cover them in prayer, birth children, raise them, and take care of the extended family while work outside or inside the home.
00:26:56
Speaker
Well, there's your first problem. You did too you did too much already. You don't need to do all that We desire and crave a PURE LOVE, all caps. A love that forsakes everyone else in this world, all caps. ah Porn has ruined marriage. Women are forced to become FBI detectives, tyrants, and police their grown husbands who claim to follow Christ yet indulge in X-rated adult content and then emotionally and physically neglect their wives, but We can all agree our husbands are such letdowns that they sit on the toilet while in another room to watch another other naked women. Okay.
00:27:37
Speaker
That's pretty funny. But we can, the the totalitarian language of we can all agree that our husbands are letdowns, that's a lot. um And her going, talking about how they all need to be these fucking FBI agents in order to like,
00:27:59
Speaker
like what are you looking for like you're do if that if you really don't have to do that if you're walking into it thinking that like that's your role is to just constantly investigate everything that they're doing on the internet then you already like your paranoia is part of the problem here yeah what does porn do for men it gets them hard and come faster
00:28:24
Speaker
I was actually listening to, what I think it was Matt and Shay, the secret podcast might've been that. What was it? They were talking, they were talking, I think it was that they were talking about porn and they're just like, ah McCusker was like, said something about, you know, his wife being like, why do you get to like, why do you get to do that? um And he's like, well, do you want me to be in the bathroom for five minutes or 45 minutes? Oh, he's hilarious. yeah He calls it. He always refers to it as the nog.
00:28:57
Speaker
Yeah. He's like, I'm off the nog right now, dude. Yeah. I'm just brimming. So then she lists what it does. ah Makes them hyper sexualize all women and girls to the point that they don't even notice their wife anymore.
00:29:13
Speaker
highest contributor to erectile dysfunction burns out dopamine receptor is sin pollutes your relationship with God. I am so tired and I know I am not alone.
00:29:25
Speaker
Where are the Christians have merit? Um, I'm not saying that that happens to everybody everywhere all the time, but I think there's some information out there on it, you know, on so the first two burning out dopamine receptors or whatever. Um,
00:29:39
Speaker
That one. Hypersexualization. that can happen. I think that depends. I think that depends. Of course. Of course it depends. I don't i don't know that you can apply a lot of this over a broad spectrum to like everything. I'm trying to be fair.
00:29:53
Speaker
You know? So that way when I really shit on you can't just say, that's all I've done. Okay? Let me set it up so I can sound like I'm being fair. So that way I can be very unfair later. Thank you. Okay. My mistake. Yeah.
00:30:04
Speaker
Yeah, it is sin. It pollutes your relationship with God. I think we can conclude we can agree with that one. I want to know if she believes if ah did Jesus ever masturbate.
00:30:16
Speaker
o Oh, she would be so angry if she heard that. She wouldn't even like the question. No, I don't think so. You know, they're just, these people are so immature, they can't even, you know, i mean, he was born ah he was born a man, made flesh, you know? so But they say he experienced the full amount of the human experience. Can you do that if you've if you've never jerked it? I would say no. In like many posts, like a post every three days on the Christian subreddits, it's, ah you know, can you masturbate without lusting?
00:30:50
Speaker
That sounds like a conversation I had when I was at Liberty University. Because it was a conversation i had at Liberty University. Oh, man. So many just worthless conversations. the ah the One of the ideas was like, yeah, I mean...
00:31:09
Speaker
you know, the body is designed to like, cause it was, someone would always bring up, well, technically like it's good for you to release the crack in every once in a while. Um, and that you can't just keep all that come pent up inside your balls. So it would be like, yeah, but that's why, you know, you're, you can't be held accountable for your dreams. And like, yeah, if it gets too backed up, you have a wet dream. And that's like, that's God's grace. Essentially. That's God lancing the boil. He's like,
00:31:39
Speaker
it's It's God's pressure relief valve. He's he's just popping your little groin zit. He just flicks the balls a little bit in your sleep.
00:31:51
Speaker
it You feel a slight tug. You're like, oh, you better get up and change your boxers middle night. I, I, okay, well, I'll finish it out. no Okay.
00:32:03
Speaker
I am so tired and I know I am not alone. Where are the Christian men who are going to rise up in this generation and be so zealous for Jesus and lead other men to purity, to loving their wife and only their wife, or working diligently to being present loving fathers?
00:32:21
Speaker
I think those ones, I think they all, I think a lot of those ones already got arrested for pedophilia.
00:32:28
Speaker
What else do men want apart from Jesus Christ and biblical principles? Nothing else will satisfy 15 exclamation points. So why the porn prostitutes massage parlors lies? Oh, she brought those are okay maybe that's a lot of other things you brought up there. Hang on. yeah yeah Yeah. It makes me wonder maybe there maybe there is something going on here that's ah that she needs to be worried about.
00:32:54
Speaker
If if if her husband is ah is struggling with prostitutes and massage parlors, you know, in his Christian walk, you'd think that you would make a dissertation about that rather than pornography. Right. what Wouldn't it be funny if she thinks just getting a massage is a sin because it's your masseuse is a woman, though?
00:33:14
Speaker
I don't think you can put that faster. I think, yeah, if your miscension a woman, I think this is, these are the type of people who would be like, you couldn't get a massage from a woman without, you know, fantasizing about like having sex with them.
00:33:28
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. You know, you can't get your hair cut by a woman because if her boob brushes the back of your head, like you, you will be having sex with her in your mind. like that's the kind of i mean That's seriously like the kind of stuff that they taught us like in youth group and whatnot. And I think what sucks about this is that it it feels like this woman, she might have some really valid problems with her husband here. I mean, if he's showing up at massage parlors and getting prostitutes and stuff, like hi I mean, you go off, queen.
00:34:03
Speaker
Right. know that's ah That's pretty legitimate stuff to be upset about. But I i feel like the messaging around like sexual purity, it sucks in a lot of ways, but I think it sucks especially for women because it's like it it plays to some of like the natural insecurities that you're bound to have when you grow up in our society where you know there's like right whatever beauty standards and all of this kind of stuff.
00:34:30
Speaker
And i don't i don't know. like But that's everything. Dude, that that's our culture in its entirety. is That's how capitalism works. It's just playing off. Dude, do you have any ad? I can tell you every time I get on Instagram, I get an ad for – i ah okay Maybe they're getting my age wrong. I think they're getting it out wrong a little bit. But it's like it's always like I'm a 46 year old man and with, you know, they're all chubby, ah which is normal for being 46. And it's like this military calisthenics thing. And I can't get on Instagram.
00:35:04
Speaker
And I can't watch a YouTube video without seeing advertisement for it. And it's like I every day I'm like, I really need to go for a jog. I need to do a push up. I need to do something um because, you know, I'm getting inching closer and closer to 40 and I don't feel good about myself. And then all the ads I see are that. Now, I know understand that that is worse for women, but um it's just like that is our society. It's like how do you sell people things? Make them feel like shit for not owning it or spending money on it. it's like
00:35:36
Speaker
I think like church, like youth group and purity culture and stuff, it like sells this idea to men and to women. that like men are are animals completely like out there. Their faculties are completely out of control unless they are completely abstained from like anything remotely sexual. Like you have to run from the appearance of evil. So like don't look at the underwear at, you know, section when you walk through Walmarts. I mean, you can you literally cannot hide
00:36:09
Speaker
from like sexual imagery anywhere in in, I mean, I just don't know, like the way that this is portrayed in the church and stuff, it's like, well, no one is going to be, if, if men were programmed the way that like you're constantly like portraying them, then no man is ever going to be able to maintain any sort of like quote unquote purity because there's, there's sexual images everywhere.
00:36:34
Speaker
Yeah. yeah And I feel like, I don't know, you know, there's, there's, it's kind of like with, with like substance abuse and stuff like that, you know, you think about like alcohol, some people have a problem with alcohol to the point where like abstinence is really the only solution for them, you know, or at least that's the balance that some of them have found. Yeah. But like, that's not everybody.
00:36:59
Speaker
And I don't know. I just, I, I feel like whatever's happening here, i think like what you see over and over again in these posts is this idea that like, you know, you're, you're getting one problem from a marriage, which is super complex. You know, there's so many things like what we're not hearing here is like maybe what problems she brings to the marriage. You know, I mean, She's kind of portrayed herself as the perfect partner, but like everything wrong with their marriage is the fact that her husband like looks at porn or something like that. And I don't know. It's just it's so ridiculous.
00:37:37
Speaker
well And that's the case with the these Reddit posts. and then we harp on the the writers of them constantly because it's always from the perspective of the problem lies entirely with the other person. That's why you retreat to the internet. um You get to and amdem indent oh my god indenify why can't i say it indemnify yourself from any sort of real scrutiny. I mean, don't worry. When you go to the comments, people are like,
00:38:05
Speaker
sounds like you're the problem. People will say that in the comments. You're not going to get away from it completely, but right you get to every, every one of the Reddit posts that we go to is just portraying the other person as the entire problem.
00:38:18
Speaker
That is true. Yeah. It's constant. It's what, that's why people go to Reddit. Yeah. I mean, if if you're posting anything on Reddit, you want people to agree with you and tell you why you're right. That's it.
00:38:32
Speaker
Yeah. And I don't know. It's just, dude, so many posts in these Christian subreddits are about porn and masturbation. And like all sexual problems in their marriages are due to some sort of porn addiction. And if they don't mention it, the poster doesn't mention it. There's 15 people in the comments that are like, it sounds to me like it's porn addiction.
00:38:56
Speaker
And you're like, oh, yeah, you don't know that. Like, how can you say that? You have no idea what the problem is. there There's lots of reasons that people may not be on the same page sexually. And it's not always because the man is just a hopeless gooner that can't get hard because, you know, he he's like fapping to, you know, baby fur diaper products. porn.
00:39:19
Speaker
yeah Like, it's dumb. It's also, it's ah it even problems that aren't sexual in nature within marriages, they will attribute to porn. It's like, oh, I'm not getting the affection I want from my husband. He's looking at porn. Oh, I'm not, like, my husband works a lot. He's probably staying out late and cheating on you. It's like, everything goes yeah to that. like ah the And I think that's, I think we ah we experienced conversations around the root of, because that's what Christianity does. um
00:39:55
Speaker
It'll, it'll take any, it'll over apply any sort of sin. And like decentralize it from the actual issue and say, well, yeah, if you're letting sin into your life here, it's going to affect every part of your life and who you are. It's like cancer. Sin is cancer. This this is a a poison pill that will like, that will destroy your marriage because this is the one, like, ah um this is the one offense that,
00:40:28
Speaker
that there is no discussion. There's no like any, any nuance to be had about it at all. Like this is 100% bad and God will not bless you if this is in your life. And you see these people on here just like torn to bits or, or just furious and, and looking for something to blame. Yeah.
00:40:48
Speaker
Always. It's always born. That's flip what it is. Let's harp on the stay at home wife thing too. I don't, i can't remember she said she, they got kids or whatever, but it's like ah the sacrifice. So that way you can, okay. There's two ways to look at this. um From her, her perspective, it's the sacrifice for you to be able to work.
00:41:10
Speaker
And I take care of everything else, blah, blah, blah. um The alternate perspective is, the sacrifice is being the one to work. So your wife can stay home because that's supposed to be the thing they want to do. Like, and you can hit it on both sides of that. You can hit both sides of that coin. Right. And just, and then all, all roads lead back to the problem of overemphasizing a correctness um or a biblicalness to being stay at home wife. Right.
00:41:40
Speaker
Right. And so you can put you could pull at those threads and and, you know, everyone can find their own road to persecution and why they're the ones sacrificed. It's like, I've made this comment before, but, you know, my my mom would talk about, you know, and sorry if you're listening, Dad, and you have to hear it straight from the horse's mouth. But it's... She talked about what a furious fapper you were. Always gooning. Sneaking off to the toilet to crank one out.
00:42:09
Speaker
took seven showers a day. Um, no, it was like the sac, it was like that homeschooling was a sacrifice because she could have been out working, blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, and I've said before that here that like, yeah, that, that it's a way to look at it. Um,
00:42:26
Speaker
But there's, you know, within Christianity, you can also like, so look at as like that. There's an expectation there. So you are quote unquote, sacrificing things to be able to meet that expectation. But to the rest of the world, that's a privilege that it's a privilege to have one working parent and the other one able to, you know, make those types of choices because most people don't have the ability to make those choices. So like, uh, I forgot the other road I wanted to go down. but,
00:42:53
Speaker
but Other than like you valid, but the husband could easily, you know, if you're going to, if you're going to look at it from his perspective, he could be like, yeah, I'm, I, I have to work to provide for that. Like that's stress. That's stress there. and We've seen that in Christianity growing up is like the stress of, and they don't always handle it well. Right. But like,
00:43:15
Speaker
when when the expectation is on you to provide for your family and that you feel like you've you're doing something wrong by having your significant other have to go out and get a job like it makes you feel it makes you feel impotent and that's that's a terrible place for men to be because the weirdest worst stuff about their personalities come out once they start feeling that way yeah that is 100 true Yeah, and I think like, i feel like therere there's just so many things that like should be dispelled about like the the mentality that they that we were taught in church about this kind of stuff. Like heard over and over again that like if you, you know, if you lust and look at pornography or something like that, like you're going to be on, you're going to spoil your wedding night.
00:44:06
Speaker
you're going to be there on your wedding night and all you'll be thinking about is like those, those dirty pictures that you saw. And it's like, that is not true. Yeah. Like that is ridiculous. Or like the idea that, you know, um You know, if you're if you're if you view pornography like you're not going to desire your wife and you won't you won't have any interest in like sex, like actual sex.
00:44:34
Speaker
That is ridiculous. That is like there's maybe a small percentage of people that that's true for. But like that is not the case for anybody that I've ever been close enough to talk about that kind of thing with. I mean, it's it's insane.
00:44:48
Speaker
And if you poll most people, um i would I think it's very safe to say that this is – I mean it's very safe to say that regardless of religious context that if you poll people – and they have. um Obviously, Google it. I don't give a fuck. I don't have the studies to write in front of me, but it's like – Most men will say their biggest and real only complaint in their marriage is that they don't have enough sex.
00:45:18
Speaker
And, you know, women might have a different complaint. um And there's obviously a communication gap in how people's needs are met. And that like, obviously, like you could work that out in therapy or on your own or whatever the fuck you want to do. But,
00:45:34
Speaker
It's it is very also but like so I don't know again. What do we know from reading this? I don't know if their sex life is, but it's like I just know if you're a dude and you're having sex regularly, the the sidebar to to get that need met elsewhere does dissipate. And that's not for, and that's in general. Of course, there are guys who are just like dirty birds who are going to, you know, sleep around and cheat and do all that, that, that they exist. We know like um we're speaking in generalities here. Um,
00:46:10
Speaker
and And every credit post we read, it just leads to more questions for people like us who like to you know pick everything apart and criticize everybody and assume the worst. Right. Because it's like, I don't trust that you're we're getting an honest representation of your marriage. I don't trust that, you know.
00:46:29
Speaker
like If you asked people within Christianity, if um if you go if a woman if the if the wife decided that she wanted to fast from sex for two years, um you know would it be...
00:46:45
Speaker
you know Or forever. what if the ah What if someone's just like, I don't like sex anymore, and you're like, then why am I married? like What are we doing here? If you're a guy, you're like... that that i mean what i saw and or I saw one person's response in a Reddit post once that what made me laugh because it was about sex and the frequency and the problems like this, but...
00:47:07
Speaker
I think it was just in dating. Maybe it was Christian dating advice. And someone posted, we've signed up for monogamy, not celibacy. And I go, yeah you know, that's that. Yeah. And that's a general sentiment that people might feel is like, you know, and that's that's an argument or dating longer. Like you should date longer. Stuff about that, like things like that change over time for some people, you know, so like. the way you are when you're 19 may not reflect the way you are when you're, you know, 39 or whatever. But like, right you know, over and over again too, you see all these posts about like these, it's like kids, like they're, they're 19 and they're like, you know, I want to get married, but my boyfriend or my girlfriend says that like,
00:47:51
Speaker
you know, we need to get right with God first. And it's like, you guys don't know each other. Like, you can't know each other. And you certainly, like, they're so worried about temptation that they never have any conversations about sex. Like, they have no idea where the other person stands on it.
00:48:07
Speaker
Neither of them have any experience, so they probably... i don't know, probably don't really know a lot about how they personally feel about it and stuff. I mean, yeah, there's just like there's so many things that factor into this that are not just, oh, he looks at pornography and that's the cause of all of our sexual like throws on me misalignment.
00:48:30
Speaker
All right, well, you know what? That's enough filthy sex talk, okay? this inappropriate. What we can conclude here is that it's it's all the lady's fault. Of course.
00:48:40
Speaker
She doesn't put out enough. End of story. Done with the conversation. that Take it from us. We know women. She probably grimaces when he takes his pants off. He's like, I just can't mentally ah ah weather the storm here.
00:48:59
Speaker
Yeah. And to be fair, we don't know what this guy looks like. He may suck. Takes care of himself. So i the the fact that you mentioned massage parlors and prostitutes makes me think wait he probably does suck.
00:49:11
Speaker
But I don't know. Maybe they both. I don't know. He's the guy at work that everybody hates making three stooges sounds after he makes Joe. Everybody hates him. yeah You know what? I take everything back. She's right. She married a a master dirt bag. And, you know, fuck him. And I hope that Reddit comes to save her.
00:49:32
Speaker
Yeah, and just another note, um there are like dudes out there that you encounter that are pigs, and like normal, sane, grounded men hate those dudes too. yeah yeah We all hate those guys. like Especially the older you get, the more like egregiously gross it is when somebody like talks about, like, that like there's there's a guy.
00:49:56
Speaker
I'm not going to say too much because i don't want to say... There's a guy that I know who, this is an older guy, by the way. He's like, I think he's in his 60s, like early 60s. Oh, is this RFK?
00:50:16
Speaker
Felching Olivia Nuzzi? Oh, may not be far off. May not be far off apparently showed his co-workers his collection of panties from his like sexual come on dude i i just they told me that and like i i like i just gotta like got like a shiver up my spine like oh god i knew you were lame but like holy balls that's so gross This guy, he he is lame. He's not like, I don't have to deal with him very much. So like he's kind of one those, you're like, okay, he's a nice guy, good enough. But like if I had to be around this person all the time, I would lose my mind on them. Is his name Billy?
00:51:03
Speaker
And no, but he does have Billy vibe. Listen, if we want to head off a lot of these problems, a little word of advice for everybody listening. you can You can prevent a lot of this by just not naming your child Billy.
00:51:16
Speaker
Yeah. go but If it's William, stick with William. Will, even. will I know a lot of good Wills. I've known plenty of good Wills. If they go by Billy, they have a chip on their shoulder.
00:51:27
Speaker
And you fucked up. I don't know. Just don't avoid it. Just avoid it to be safe. But if you name him William, never, never start calling him Billy. No. Bilbo? Maybe.
00:51:40
Speaker
Okay, so moving on. ah This one I thought was kind of interesting. So this was not in a Christian subreddit, but it does have ah it does have that vibe.
00:51:51
Speaker
This is in the Am I Overreacting subreddit. Oh, that's a great one. Yeah, some of these posts are insane, but like this one was very funny.
00:52:01
Speaker
So this is a lady. She says, am I overreacting about my husband's strange response to me wanting a divorce and a bill that he has due on my account?
00:52:12
Speaker
I love that word. I love just right out the gate. what How do you even determine what a strange reaction is to you petitioning for divorce? There is no there's no typical reaction to that.
00:52:25
Speaker
Well, reserve judgment. Okay. All right. So it's a it's text message screenshot. she That's how she asks for a divorce. Hey, honey, i think i' I think I'm ready to seek greener pastures.
00:52:41
Speaker
This is a lady who hates, these two hate each other. And one of them is, he's a he's throwing a little trolly ghost at her. So he says, do take care of yourself. Truly.
00:52:55
Speaker
I love you blank as does God. She responds. Stop saying that unless you want me to do what what you should do. Unless you want to do what you should to make
Marriage and Relationship Struggles
00:53:06
Speaker
it up to me. I don't want your empty words.
00:53:10
Speaker
He says, for me to stop saying is to deny the truth that God exists and he loves you. I love you immensely blank. Yet I love God more for he saved me from everything. And I will not let you take that from me.
00:53:26
Speaker
Truly, I say to you, I want you to seek that same love as I found in God. that he says That's crazy. He's like, I found my my love for it's like that classic. Your love for Christ should surpass your love for your children and your wife. and This is what happens. This is what happens when you take that too serious, because that's something people say, but they don't believe.
00:53:52
Speaker
No one believes it Yeah, I truly want the best for you. i i do. It's like yeah everyone wants to tell those like made up Columbine story like things where it's like, are do you do you denounce Jesus Christ as your personal and savior? And everyone's like, I wouldn't. I'd lose my life for that. But if you were looking across, if you were like, both if you and your wife were strapped to a chair and you loved your wife and they put a gun to her head and they asked you if you would denounce your savior,
00:54:20
Speaker
You'd probably be more likely to do it. i don't know. I think you know what? If no was I watch their loved ones, brains get blown out in front of their head. So if God couldn't understand why you would do that in that situation, then he's insane.
00:54:34
Speaker
Yes, dude. You should exactly shouldn't pray to him. Yeah. yeah So she responds, if you don't stop, I'll block you again. Yeah.
00:54:46
Speaker
he's ah He just gets more and more insane the way the way he talks. he says This is a guy who's losing everything and is trying to rationalize i his his his okayness with what's going on. That's what this is. You know, that's the thing about me. I'm i'm blessed to be one of those people that that truly wants the best from you, and I'm not going to let you take that from me.
00:55:09
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not going to let you settle like you did with me. i'm good i want what I want more for you than me. He says, Do what you will. Your words and actions will not make my love for you waver. Take care. God loves you, and I love you, blank.
00:55:25
Speaker
If you can't respect my request to stop that, then I can't talk to you. Dude, this is... um This is... this is Now it's sounding more like a desperate attempt. This is this is like casting your like lot with God, hoping that he'll save your marriage if you just double down on how much you care about God's will for your life.
00:55:50
Speaker
Oh, I think he's like knowingly trying to to piss her off. Like, yeah, that's that's what it reads to me. Like, this is a an egregious, like a verbiage that he's using.
00:56:03
Speaker
So she says, if you can't stop, then ah respect my request to stop, then I can't talk to you. He says, your request violates my religion. For am I not to spread the word to all?
00:56:14
Speaker
I must. ah Mission accomplished, dude. You don't got to keep, I mean, you can, like, once it's spread, you don't have to keep spraying. It's like overwatering a flower at this point. Yeah, you're drowning the roots right now.
00:56:32
Speaker
While I acknowledge your request, Blank, you have no authority over me, and I will decline it, for I submit to the only true authority. Yet I know that I will always be here for you, even if I am the last person you want to turn cross emoji heart.
00:56:48
Speaker
i I hate this person so much. He's so mean. This is a cruel man. Yeah. ah Fine. Thanks for confirming. I just wasted four hours and you still have no respect for my wants. I'm blocking you again.
00:57:06
Speaker
She's like, am I overreacting? No, you are underreacting. Dude, you should you should go to this guy's house and cut his head off. I don't know. Just drag him through the court system.
00:57:21
Speaker
Yeah. ah what What is, ah what was what was the lady with the big murder trial where she like was dating that Mormon kid and like murdered him? Oh man, I can't remember it is.
00:57:33
Speaker
Good joke. Good work, Casey. Thank you. Yeah. Speaking of murder trials though, I did just see, I don't, there's no real information to bring. I didn't, um,
00:57:45
Speaker
but I do like to keep us updated on what's going on with John Paul Miller. And, um, they asked for, a you know, the, the, the trial was coming up, but they were granted additional time to review what had been brought into,
00:58:02
Speaker
um ah ah to what's the word I'm looking for? Not evidence, not discovery, uh, discovery. Um, through the process of discovery, they his legal team wants more time to review everything that's been brought into discovery. um That's a, that's a, it's not technically a murder trial, but depending on what was brought into discovery, it could turn into that over time. I don't know what it seems like yeah he's a, this is the guy that was having a fling with somebody else in the church and then stalked his wife and hired somebody to follow her and slid her tires and all that stuff. Yeah. And he, post apparently he posted some naked photos of her online and shit too. Like,
00:58:41
Speaker
He's a real piece of shit. And it seems like ern and his his wife ah allegedly ah committed suicide or died by suicide is the appropriate way to say that. But she probably didn't. easy see I don't believe that um that's the most likely. It could have happened. you know He could have just like absolutely just bullied her into feeling hope that level of hopelessness. But according to her family, that seems...
00:59:11
Speaker
incredibly unlikely. So I don't know. This guy's a real dirt bag. I like to think, I don't know. i don't know this. um But when people, i don't know under what circumstances a judge will grant additional time, but in my head, I'm believing that they're feeling fucked and they need more time to try to come up with something stupid.
00:59:35
Speaker
Yeah. Put as much time between the action and the trial as possible. Yeah. And like, oh, if we sit with it longer, maybe we can, you know, come up with some little spin that'll help you get out of it.
00:59:47
Speaker
Now, there's probably some nuance there. You know, I mean, ah if you ask ah Reverend Miller, I mean, he said that he tried to save the marriage, but she was just so hopelessly addicted to pornography.
00:59:59
Speaker
Yeah. No. Always the go to.
01:00:05
Speaker
OK, this one's a quick one. All right. And this kind of goes with some of ah what we talked about earlier. Husband won't initiate. i feel for this lady. Yeah. just This one, I'm like, you poor lady, you are in a dead end situation. here Yeah. If you're stuck if you're if that's the scenario, I don't even need more information to know that she's right.
01:00:26
Speaker
Yeah, and there's there's just like other things in here where you're like, I don't think this guy loves you, you know? So she says, me, 19 female, and my husband, 19 male, which, God, that's so young. That's way too young.
01:00:42
Speaker
Just got married last month. Everything has been great except for intimacy. On our wedding night, he didn't want to do anything. I was disappointed, but I understood. Having a wedding is exhausting, but when we got to our honeymoon, we only had sex three times in the week and a half that we were there.
01:00:58
Speaker
He doesn't touch me at all during sex. What? What is... That's ah that's odd. Like, physically? like He doesn't touch me at all during sex, despite me begging him.
01:01:10
Speaker
And any time he obliges, he seems so uninterested and bored to the point it makes me feel guilty and turned off. He doesn't like touching me down there because he says he finds it, quote, gross.
01:01:22
Speaker
This hurts me a little because... gay! you know I'm usually inclined to push back, but i this guy's gay, for sure. like the more And that's sad for him! I feel bad for her, but that's sad for him too, if he is.
01:01:37
Speaker
Yeah, and ah he shouldn't have inflicted himself upon a lady if he had no interest in being a partner to her. you know probably hoped she'd be one of the more asexual types.
01:01:48
Speaker
That's the thing. that's why you have That's why you should be having sex before marriage. Yeah, or you should date until you're 23 or something at least. God, 19? If they had sex before, they would have figured this out. I mean, there's a good chance he could be gay and doesn't know it. he could Because it's so suppressed. It's so like, I can't be gay. That's not an option. That's not possible.
01:02:12
Speaker
That's too life-ruining. So he's in extreme denial and just thinks he thinks vaginas are gross. and Maybe. so this hurt me a little because I know for a fact I'm a very hygienic person. I don't smell down there at all.
01:02:28
Speaker
Poor, this poor girl. no He said so himself. He says it's all the fluids and such that grosses him out. lot of information. yeah Because of sexual trauma I've had since I was younger, I'm a very hypersexual person. Obviously, we weren't completely aware of our sex drives before we got married, but he won't initiate at all.
01:02:50
Speaker
And half the time I try to ask him to take a shower with me or try to come to bed, he refuses. I try to be more direct. He says he just wants to keep playing Roblox. Oh boy, I wonder. I wonder.
01:03:03
Speaker
He still refuses. I've tried every strategy in the book. I've walked around naked. I compliment him daily. I slowly undress in front of him and I wear lingerie almost every night to bed.
01:03:15
Speaker
Nothing is working. I've talked to my therapist about it and she recommended the book Sheep Music by Dr. Kevin Lamond. Layman Lamond? Ask him if he wants to try anal and see what happens. Look look up this book. Look up this book while I'm reading this and see what it looks like. What's the what's the book again? It's called Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin LaLine. I don't like the name already.
01:03:41
Speaker
I found it very informative. 10 out of 10, totally recommend. I ordered it immediately and read it all in one night. I've been nagging my husband to read it, and he always says he'll get to it. I just i looked it up on Amazon, but my wife and I are on the same account. Now she's going to log in and look for shit. Who is looking at shit?
01:04:02
Speaker
Is everything okay? What sort of sheet music are you guys playing? Holy, holy. uncovering the secrets of sexual intimacy and marriage is it a christian book uh book overview are you longing for an active fulfilling sex life with this characteristic warmth and humor okay i'm already not having a good time i'm feeling cold down there yeah dr kevin willmon offers a practical guide to sex according to god's plan Yes, Christian. I'm cold, frigid, shrinkage. This Frank and down to earth book is a perfect resource for Christian couples, whether they're in a premarital counseling, in premarital counseling, engaged, newlyweds or been married for years. Psychologist Dr. Lamont. I mean, psychologist is a fast and loose term when you're dealing with Christians. ah We yeah spent a lot of time on the workings of ah Dr. Dobson, and it's not always great. He says the best way to deal with it is to lock your husband in a small wooden box and make him stick his pecker out through the window.
01:05:09
Speaker
If he pulls it in again, or if it gets soft, you slam the window shut and leave him in the dark. hey The goo box.
01:05:22
Speaker
Oh, that's good. Good work. ah Psychologist Dr. Lamont addresses a wide spectrum of people from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse using no nonsense. He's a no nonsense guy. Okay. Using no nonsense descriptions. This book has, that means he doesn't refer to things using flowery language or euphemism. He's,
01:05:48
Speaker
he's not afraid to say penis or vagina. That's yeah. that Shrinkage is leaking, reaching critical levels now That's helpful. yeah Just a second belly button over top of my balls.
01:06:00
Speaker
This book has a warm and friendly and friendly tone that will help husbands and wives to improve love, passion and pleasure in the bedroom overcome awkwardness with their spouses in discussing issues important to all married couples, create healthy sexual intimacy in their relationship, now includes answers to 30 intimate questions you've been too afraid to ask.
01:06:23
Speaker
I'm sure, i wonder if some of those questions have to do with sex toys and if he's willing to address that for being such a frank man. Yeah. He's, I'm sure he gives a lot of unsolicited directions to to young women.
01:06:39
Speaker
This guy looks like a goober. He looks like someone from a Tim and Eric sketch. Oh, I gotta see him now. His picture's still loading. Dr. Kevin Lehman. Dude, he literally looks like, it makes me think of the dude from, um there was that Tim and Eric sketch where it's like, this is what I do. say it on you.
01:06:58
Speaker
Say it on you. Say it on you. He does look like that guy. The birth order book. Bringing up kids without tearing them down.
01:07:10
Speaker
Now I want to get that book and see if it's worth reading on the, like, snippets of on the pod. Ooh, here's a great title. Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Lehman.
01:07:22
Speaker
Okay, this guy. Wow, so many books. He's such an authority on so many things. He's tapped in. He has a second one called Under the Sheets. Dude, Sheep Music is just the cringiest title.
01:07:36
Speaker
i I hate it. There's so many books here. There's no way this guy knows this much about anything. Yeah. Sex Begins in the Kitchen? oh my God, screw this guy.
01:07:48
Speaker
Okay, moving on. Let's carry on. that was two weeks ago and he hasn't even touched it it's gotten to the point where i can't help but take it personally i want my husband to find me irresistible but he he won't even look at at he won't even look at me twice when i'm naked or changing he always calls me beautiful but that's all he'll say I feel like it's the same way my dad and mom calls me beautiful, not sexy or hot. I don't i don't feel wanted. I keep thinking to myself that maybe if I lose weight, feel feel finally touch me the way I want to, but I shouldn't have to do that to have sex with my husband.
01:08:27
Speaker
There are multiple times I've cried to him about not feeling desired. He always says he'll try to change and initiate more, but he never does. And when I do, he always says he's tired.
01:08:38
Speaker
When he does oblige, he usually says, we can, i guess, or okay, in a flat tone. I feel like he's never excited to do it with me. Like, it's a chore. I feel extremely insecure about it. We've been married a little over a month. I feel like this isn't common for a new marriage. Any tips or advice would be great.
01:08:57
Speaker
What do you think most of these people think is the root cause? Porn? Yep.
01:09:05
Speaker
Gay porn?
01:09:10
Speaker
glam and glitz says porn closeted gay or simply not attracted to you those are my top three contenders oh that that's so gross but those are my top three okay way way to narrow it down you you literally just like cast the widest net possible yeah sorry i to be so blunt i do sympathize with your situation oh okay sure you do All of these are guys who are just mad that their wives turned down their initiations. That's all it is. Don't listen to men in this. they're gonna just they're just They're mad that their wife doesn't want to have sex with them enough, and they're going to take it out on this this woman. i don't I don't listen to men giving advice on here at all. I comment on some of these. Don't listen to me either. Just just as a general rule.
01:10:00
Speaker
ah Yeah, I feel so sorry for that girl. I mean... They're a month in. That's not going to out. Just get annulled and go the shepherd's ways, you know? Yeah, yeah, dude. that let Let him go be gay. It's fine.
01:10:13
Speaker
And the problem is, though, you can't. Annulments are so wrong in Christianity because you already consummated it. Now you can't undo that. Now you have now you're tainted. Yeah. These people. Oh, my God. These people need to get off the sex shame shit. It's so bad. it sucks so bad.
01:10:31
Speaker
it's It's the most like damaging. It's one of the most damaging. mean, outside of like the I'm totally worthless apart from Christ and all the other weird shit that comes along with it. this is like That one I feel like people like say, but they don't really believe because the human ego doesn't allow you to let that set in. outside of it being overly reinforced throughout your childhood. And it does for some people, it's but like it's words you recite.
01:10:58
Speaker
The sex stuff is like behavior to you and something you should be able to be in control of. And when you bring the ego into it, now you're like, I should be stronger than that. And therefore I'm going to get down on myself. But like this, the sex one is just the the the shame around it. is It's so, but it's such a miserable thing for everyone involved too. It's like,
01:11:20
Speaker
You know, I don't know. It just, yeah, it's it's depressing after a while to read post after post, like, of these people who got married knowing almost nothing about each other. yeah And then they find that, like, having sex isn't just an immediately easy thing that you guys are perfectly aligned on. Like, it's it's a very, like...
01:11:42
Speaker
It's a it's a you got to be very vulnerable to get to that point with someone. And I mean, if you haven't spent any alone time together at all, maybe you're just not ready for that yet. You know, right it's a good reason to not get married at 19 years old. OK, so total subject shift.
01:12:02
Speaker
This one actually made me angry.
01:12:07
Speaker
Okay, last but not least, this one, dude, I just i just read this and I was like, there's it's so irritating. Like, the person writing this just drives me crazy.
01:12:20
Speaker
So it's it's by Low Slide 4376, and he's he titled it Shipwrecked Faith, and then in parentheses, Warning.
01:12:31
Speaker
war I can only imagine that he's warning us about how raw and real he's going to get about his struggles with his faith. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to turn out like him.
01:12:43
Speaker
oh this is a cautionary tale. Okay. Okay. Opening up. Yes, exactly. It says, this is a cautionary story. Wow. Those of who are maybe new to the faith or struggling with surrendering, surrendering slash devoting yourself completely to God's will.
01:13:00
Speaker
Which nobody knows what that means still. They never have. Those are just platitudes. That's costly signaling. That's all it that is. As is most of the advice on any of these subjects. Yeah.
01:13:16
Speaker
Run from your sinful habits and desires. It's not a game. They will destroy you and your faith if you don't cut them out of your life and lean on God to get you through the temptation.
01:13:28
Speaker
You cannot play both sides of the fence. My walk with Christ started out great. I felt like I was revived and being made into a completely new person, full of life, completely opposite from who I was before. Oh, I can't imagine what the enemy has done to him.
01:13:48
Speaker
I used to be terrible, completely overtaken by sinful habits and desires. The Lord tried to change all that. I received the Holy Spirit. yeah i received I hate these people so much because i do do the people. Okay.
01:14:05
Speaker
The people who say things like I was living a life of life of sin and then God saved me and I 180. It's like, that's something that can just happen to people. Like,
01:14:17
Speaker
It's – I don't feel like i have the right wording for it, but it's it's like this short-term – like, again, 180. It's like a short-term 180 that can happen. you know People will say, I met this woman and everything changed and everything was perfect until it's not anymore, until like that thing disappears or becomes casual or part of your life for long enough because you're not a serious person or you are – shouldn't say you're not a serious person, but you're not – You're you're looking for escape routes. You're not you don't want to do the work. So you got to get saved and God did everything for you.
01:14:54
Speaker
And you don't have any. So you don't have to like put in any actual work on becoming a different kind of person. i fucking hate this shit. Yeah, you should have to if you're going to post something like this, you should have to post the time frame over which it happened. Like because this feels like we could be talking about three weeks later. Yeah, it's like a moment of euphoria.
01:15:14
Speaker
Exactly. um The Lord tried to change all that. i received what what what What was he doing anyways that was so awful? like i would I would love to know what he was doing.
01:15:27
Speaker
he He grabbed the the most recent JCPenney magazine and realized his mom had cut out the underwear section. Well, that would be relatable.
01:15:40
Speaker
Relatable debauchery. The Lord tried to change all that. I received the Holy Spirit. I was being convicted of these sinful habits, realized how sinful I was, and was able to drop a lot of them.
01:15:53
Speaker
The period of change, sadly, only lasted for a short while. a At first, I was constantly watching sermons on YouTube, trying to learn more. I was reading my Bible, studying it, thinking on it, trying to apply it to my life.
01:16:08
Speaker
There was real growth at first, but this slowly dwindled into a state of lukewarmness. I made the mistake of not getting involved in a church because I was deceiving myself into thinking I didn't need to and that I could just have my own personal faith and walk with Christ without help and strength from other believers. Now he's placing blame elsewhere. like He's taking he's taking like a tidbit of accountability, but ultimately like shirking a level of responsibility.
01:16:38
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't allow other people to fix my problems. Yeah. Big mistake. I didn't go get baptized when I first started to believe because deep down I was nervous and didn't want to get in front of a bunch of people due to anxiety and the possibility of feeling embarrassed.
01:16:54
Speaker
Which, what is baptism really
Personal Struggles and Self-Awareness
01:16:57
Speaker
doing? I mean, what? It's ah it's a public statement, really, right? what have It would have changed everything. He's looking this is this is just looking for things he didn't do that would have solved his imaginary problem. That's all.
01:17:10
Speaker
He didn't take the boxes seriously enough to check them. he What he didn't do was scan the QR code to register his product, and it broke three months in.
01:17:24
Speaker
And now he has to buy a new dehumidifier. I don't... Sorry. That is so close to what all this boils down to. Yeah.
01:17:36
Speaker
yeah but And there was a sinful addiction that I just could not slash did not want to let go of. Porn. That still had a major hold on me in my life because I was also deceiving myself about that as well into thinking it was okay and that I could continue in it.
01:17:54
Speaker
God understands. I'm being Redditor right now and just doing the porn comment, but this is obviously porn. It sure seems like it could be. god wasn it it wasn't It wasn't tithing too much. It wasn't like, what couldn't what else could it be? What else do people care about and feel like this type of way about? It's... um he What, he didn't give enough change to homeless people? He didn't, like, what?
01:18:18
Speaker
there's There's something to be said there about, like, okay, maybe that is part of the reason why porn comes up over and over again is because, like, what residual habit do you just have this feeling of, like, this is evil that are you doing on a regular basis? It's the only real thing to point to. um What did you watch too much TV? You played too many video games? smoked too many cigarettes and I just couldn't stop. i knew that was going to ruin my faith, but I did it anyways.
01:18:47
Speaker
No, because and and those ones are the ones where people like excuse like, yeah, I know it's not good for me and the body is a temple. And, you know, I've been praying about it and I'm hoping to quit soon. Like people like are fine with that. They're like, well, I was I was addicted before I was a Christian and yeah God didn't take that away. So now, you know, I just got to keep working on it. Like people give themselves passes for everything else.
01:19:10
Speaker
Yeah, 100 percent. Like it takes some degree of like. self-awareness and accountability to acknowledge the other things that you do wrong on a regular basis. Whereas that's one of those things you can just be like, well, that's bad.
01:19:25
Speaker
And I did it from this time to this time. Yeah. That was bad. Um, So he says, ah I convinced myself that it was okay. God understands. He knows my heart, blah, blah, blah. Absolutely ridiculous to think about to think that looking back now.
01:19:42
Speaker
Yeah, to think it didn't technically count because it was a BBL and not a real ass. It was just me doing mental gymnastics. It's just a rubber butt, I said.
01:19:57
Speaker
Um, it is also funny to be like talking about this as F as if like he's already like his he's got one foot in hell already. Like, yeah.
01:20:08
Speaker
Like, it's it's too late for me, brothers, but you can learn from my mistakes. I slowly, over time... This is like buttercream gang shit. Yeah. Did you ever see that movie?
01:20:21
Speaker
It was like Christian Adjacent. Yeah, it was like Christian Adjacent. There's like the one kid who goes who turns rotten and goes bad and starts doing bad kid things, like throwing rocks into traffic and being a bully. I don't know. It's just...
01:20:36
Speaker
you can't i'm too far gone you can't do anything to save me but it's like angsty bullshit it's it's not good uh but i feel like everyone it wasn't a christian movie but i feel like every christian like my generation knew that movie growing up yeah yeah he could quit flogging his dolphin so he's in the nutter cream gang now ah I slowly over time started to lose that spark, that fire that I first had.
Spiritual Reflections and Critiques
01:21:08
Speaker
I stopped watching the pastor that helped me a lot when I first started, Pastor Rick Warren on YouTube. oh Maybe because he heard everything there was to say in four weeks. like We all know it's just the same version of everything. It's just rep it's just repetitive. at the After a while, you're like, i don't I'm not learning anything new. I'm just listening to a guy use new props every week.
01:21:31
Speaker
i I know the name Rick Warren, but is there anything remotely interesting about him? He was the purpose-driven life guy. Oh, okay. Yeah. Gotcha. Is he dead now?
01:21:43
Speaker
No, he's not. sounds so disappointed. but he didn't know I don't know much about him. He had the purpose-driven life, and then he the purpose-driven church. It felt like he kind of just locked into this lane after that book got big. That was his chicken soup for the soul.
01:21:58
Speaker
Yeah, he seemed like a reasonably authentic person. I can't recall enough about any of it. I read the books. um I don't really recall them. The purpose driven plumbing for for dummies.
01:22:10
Speaker
his he His son did die ah by suicide at several years ago. So that made me feel like empathy. You know, you're like, oh, shit. Now I feel feel bad. Like,
01:22:25
Speaker
ah You always feel bad. Even like, dude, I mean, Ergen Kanner's son died by suicide and I, Ergen Kanner was just a wow fucking stain on the universe. I mean, Ergen Kanner was a stain on the universe and it made me feel bad for him. You know, that's just an awful thing for someone to go through. Right. Yeah.
01:22:47
Speaker
It would be hard to cope with your dad being such a huge lying disgrace. me Dude, yeah. I mean, in and you don't want to go that way. Like with Rick Warren, you go, that's just awful. i Like you don't, I didn't, I didn't get those negative dark thoughts about his responsibility or culpability for.
01:23:07
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know anything about But with Ergen, I did not, I did have those thoughts. You go, well, But what a he was such a terrible person that you're like, what what did he do to fuck his kid up? And of course, people do that without bad parents. So like then you go, now I feel shitty for it. But that's how Ergen sucks so bad that it it's hard to not it was hard to not think just kind of immediately think down go down that road.
01:23:37
Speaker
There was a note it was like, goodbye, dad, you are so cringe. ah its Your testimony was not gas.
01:23:49
Speaker
Uh,
01:23:53
Speaker
ah ye Okay, so side note, talking about those like, like those, uh, those retentive book series. I remember I just had this thought. I totally forgot about this, but I remember going to one of my friend's houses from church and his dad had an entire like shelf in his little office space. That was all just like those four dummies books.
01:24:17
Speaker
Oh yeah. He had like the anthology. I think it was like every subject for dummies. I had a friend who wrote one of those. Really? Yeah. he um he was he it's He was part of my church growing up. He was my he was like my parents' age. um But my good friend, who's who was the pastor of the church that I was part of after I had exited evangelicalism. And even after I stopped considering myself Christian, um it was his best friend.
01:24:52
Speaker
um But yeah, back in his... What did he write it on? It was the it was Christianity for Dummies. Oh, okay. Yeah. That sounds really interesting.
01:25:02
Speaker
I've never read it. um I probably won't, but... He wrote it back when we were all still in the evangelical world, too. He had, you know, I'm sure like this this this man passed away several years ago after ah long battle of cancer. But um it was, you know, even even ah like towards the end of his life, I'm sure he would look back and be like,
01:25:27
Speaker
know that he was writing kind of the evangelical like tone the evangelical line on stuff but he was a good guy so i i've been i'm not saying that just because he's not with us anymore he truly was a great person the evangelical bathroom reader yeah Right next to the Guinness Book of World Records from 2004. That is a solid bathroom reader, though. Like, who doesn't? that I mean, pre-phone, dude, when you didn't have phone a phone to take into the bathroom with you what if you, if you were taking a shit and you saw that sitting in a basket, you'd be like, fucking score, dude. Like, you would you'd be good.
01:26:10
Speaker
I always like going to my grandparents' house and and like taking a dump because they had ah like a basket full of those like handheld games like Yahtzee and Wheel of Fortune and poker, you know. That's awesome.
01:26:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's pretty fun. um Okay, so he stopped watching Pastor Rick Warren. I started to read the Bible less and less, not thinking of it as spiritual food and more like a chore. Yeah, because it is. It's boring as shit.
01:26:40
Speaker
ah I continued on in the sinful addiction of smoking pot 24-7, replacing studying my Bible and praying with going and getting high, fanning fanned idolizing fan high and idolizing it for quote unquote peace would idolizing it everything's an idol everything's an idol except for so it wasn't porn smoking pot all right so finally shaking things up
01:27:11
Speaker
I became the definition of the seed that fell on rocky ground who started off great and received it with joy, but fell away due to a lack of roots in a church and studying of the Bible. Hey, he read enough his Bible to use that analogy. Good for him.
01:27:26
Speaker
Yeah, and that seems like deep cut stuff. Yeah. ah Completely lukewarm, and I was oblivious to it and thought I was doing great in my walk with Christ. Yeah.
01:27:37
Speaker
But I wore a cross necklace every day. That makes me a good Christian, right? I read the Bible sometimes. That's good enough, right? No, not at all. If you're going to have a relationship with Jesus, it has to be maintained.
01:27:51
Speaker
You have to do the work to seek him and try to live like him. If you don't, you will fall. You can fall away, and I have... so what is what is this a brochure is this some christian parent writing this towards their teenager or something it's like it's a psyop a christian parent psyop that's what it feels like yeah it's just like ah a parent writing a teenage testimonial to shove in their kid's face and be like you know but by the grace of god go i brother
01:28:25
Speaker
It's Cope. It's ah he's the emphatic forceful language. I'm guessing we're towards the end based on like the the shift. I don't know. But now's the results. is This is the journey that got him here. Now we find out what the result is. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Carry on. I'll I'll save my my determinations.
01:28:48
Speaker
God has withdrawn his spirit from me and I feel completely dead inside. I have been a depressed shell of a human being for around four to five months now, completely filled with sadness, hopeless loss of joy, confusion, the fear of hell. I can't tell if I'm being disciplined or if I'm home hopeless and doomed to end up away from God forever. I'm already tasting what hell is like while being alive and on earth, and it is the worst thing someone can ever go through.
01:29:20
Speaker
That's so extreme. if absurd absurd nonsense like this kid's what because he smokes pot and forgot to read his bible life youah like people are actually going through hell right now and you're like this is your suffering yeah fuck you ah I try to go to church and I feel like a total stranger and a fraud when I do. Like something inside me is telling me, you don't belong here. My prayers feel dry. Trying to read the Bible feels dry and condemning. It literally feels like your soul has been taken out of your body.
01:29:57
Speaker
Part of me wants to say, I'm not trying to scare you or worry you, but I actually kind of am. You need to be worried about your relationship and stance with God. you take He takes away the life inside of you when you play games with sin. It feels impossible to make it back to Him, and there's a real reality that it could be for me.
01:30:19
Speaker
I want to warn others to take your relationship with Christ seriously. Do not hesitate to commit yourself to Him. He promises to take care take care of everything if you trust in Him.
01:30:29
Speaker
If you don't, you become completely lost So, wait, did he find his way back? No, he's he's a wandering hell right now on Earth.
01:30:41
Speaker
This made me think of... um An analogy my youth pastor gave that was absolute horseshit. and It was like, it was basically this. If you if you keep wandering away from God, right?
01:30:55
Speaker
If ah here's the crossroads, you go one way, you wander away from God, you keep going, you keep going. People think that they can just immediately turn right back to God and get right back on that path. But no, you walk so far down that road, you have to walk all the way back before you can get on the right path. Not just just nonsense.
01:31:14
Speaker
It's so stupid, right? Like it goes against a lot of what, you know, I was always told about, you know, the it's it's got the prodigal son story. Shit like that. You know, OK, I'm home. I'm back.
01:31:28
Speaker
Mulligan. And they're like, all right. Hell yeah, brother. It's it's ah it's the problem with evangelicalism that it paints that they need a bad analogy for everything.
01:31:39
Speaker
Yeah, well, that's that's that's number one problem. Number two problem is that like it's constantly like it's constantly framed as this like you know like life-altering emotional experience that goes on forever if you're doing the right things and seeking God. And it's like no one can maintain that.
01:32:01
Speaker
Right. That euphoric feeling. were Yeah. Yeah. it's like ah It's like a new relationship, you know, and and like eventually like you settle down into a rhythm and you don't have like that same feeling anymore. But that's like a fleeting thing in with everything in life. Like you're really excited when you get a new car, but like, you know, six months later, it's just your car and you don't dislike it. You don't feel unthankful for it, but you don't feel like Yes, I got this car now. you know like right You're married. You have a family. You meet this woman at work, and you have those special, happy, super butterfly-like feelings, and then before you know it, you have a second family that you hate.
01:32:45
Speaker
Yeah, and you have to hide them from each other. And it's very expensive and time-consuming. you know what? it's like It's like hell on earth. It requires you get a job that has a lot of quote-unquote business trips. I mean, i how else are you splitting the difference?
01:33:02
Speaker
Sorry, honey, got to fly to California again. ah get You were just there last week. Yeah, I got to spend like half my weeks in California. No, we can't get Life 360.
01:33:14
Speaker
Yeah, you cannot come. it's ah it's ah It's a single single person trip. The company would be mad. i mean But this is really like why evangelicalism ends up being such a dead end for so many people. Because like you either have to like just like rationalize and become okay with like not feeling the way that they tell you you're supposed to feel. Which like that was for me that was like always the thing is like I always felt like an imposter because I didn't have those feelings about it.
01:33:45
Speaker
That like everybody like all these people crying during songs and like you know waing waving and Well, they'll you with the flip side of that argument, though, and they'll like, it's not all about feelings.
01:33:56
Speaker
And like they just have they have a fucking message for everyone. Yeah, it's like keeping on balance forever. Yeah, it's a plug and play. Like, well, yeah, some people feel it. Some people don't. And here's how we manipulate emotionally people who don't feel it. And we'll hit you hard with it.
01:34:14
Speaker
And it's what's funny, too, about like the way that they ridicule like more traditional strains of Christianity and other religions, you know, like the the the the rituals of Catholicism or like Orthodox Christianity. Like, oh, it's just like going through the motions and like, ah you know, there's no there's no meaning behind it. It's not a relationship with God. And it's like, well, neither is yours. What they have is a discipline.
01:34:42
Speaker
Like, yeah, you know, they take it seriously enough that they're like willing to put in the time and work to do the, you know, to to maintain the discipline. And in the end, that might be more important and better long term than like you having these weird like like mood swings spiritually.
01:35:01
Speaker
And ultimately it's the same thing. They're like, even like, yeah, you can apply the mood swing, the emotional layer to it, but it's still just that we need you to show up here every week and attend where we tell you to and feel what you what you're supposed to feel. Like it's it's still, it's it it's the same. it's go It is going through the motions. There's an expectation of what the motions are and you need to do them. But you have to represent it as not that.
01:35:29
Speaker
It's not. You have to you have to have that. um but Is it you? What was the. The. the uh, the serial killer show. Yeah. Not you. um us.
01:35:41
Speaker
Was it us? The Jordan, Jordan Peele, the Jordan Peele movie where everyone has, yeah they all have that like crazy smile on their face. Like after they get like, whatever, it's just, it's in like, that one no, I've, I've really liked all of his movies. I didn't. Um, there was a one with the UFO that I didn't love when I saw it, but it, it,
01:36:04
Speaker
It sank in over time. Yeah, yeah that one. okay um Anyway, no need to go down that road. ah But yeah, it's just like that fake plasticky smile. like that that I'm the church greeter. i have to like That's going through the motions. Oh, I'm the church greeter this week.
01:36:25
Speaker
Oh, I'm the deacon this week. Oh, i I'm doing church security this week. Thank God i got my my ah my LTC so I can just walk the church perimeter and feel like I'm doing the will of the Lord. i don't know. It's just that. I mean, even like those types of jobs are for people who don't actually care about being inside the building. It's like i great we need to come up with shit that like The every man can do who doesn't really care about the rest of the stuff, but can still feel important in the kingdom of God. It's like, yeah, you have a place here outside.
01:37:00
Speaker
It's again, i go back to this analogy a lot, but it's Chris evangelicalism is Christian dungeons and dragons.
01:37:09
Speaker
I mean, this post is so bizarre, just like the way that he talks about himself as if like, this is the end. I don't know that I can be saved anymore. know, I don't know that I'll ever make it back. And it's like, what is it that you're missing? Like, you're just missing like this, like fleeting, you know, like, like he wants a feeling to have enthusiasm.
01:37:33
Speaker
Yeah, he wants a feeling to happen to him that's outside of his control. That's what it I mean, I hear this guy and I go, oh, you're probably you probably suffer depression if you're if you're back and forth constantly like that. That's like, yeah, you probably just need to go talk to a doctor, dude.
01:37:54
Speaker
Yeah, and and you're going to have to find something a little more concrete to base like your your sense of self and your worldview on than whether or not you feel like God is speaking to you you know about how much you're smoking pot or whatever. Yeah, or like, no, God will absolutely just abandon you to your device. Yeah.
01:38:17
Speaker
This isn't even real. Dude, this is just, oh, it's so annoying to hear people talk like this. And I feel simultaneously bad that this guy's going through this fucking torment over something that isn't It's just ah it's just an a reappropriation or leveraging of particular passages that he's heard from certain people. Like it's not it's not even it, dude. Like you can there's so many other ways to experience a meaningful life of faith. And if you are depressed, ah that can go along with it where you can just like recognize what you're going through for what it is.
01:38:54
Speaker
And get the the right help. I'm inclined to think that most of this is fake. To me, this seems like a performative like exercise in like ah you know it's like testimony construction. like He's in his like wayward phase that he can talk about later you know about how lost he was, how completely like ah you know down the rabbit hole he was with his like weed addiction and stuff like that. you know And eventually he'll be in front of a youth group talking about like how Christ redeemed him and saved him from his hopelessness and this and that and the other. And you can rededicate your life to Christ, Mr. Seventh Grader.
01:39:37
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it could be. I'm willing to bet that there's a level of like that there actually is a level of honesty here. Somebody responds, ah they say, i don't want to judge or say anything wrong but it sounds wrong that he would take your life take the life out of you sometimes it's ourselves that makes us depressed and feel empty faith is about trusting jesus not a feeling you experience If you ever wonder if you had have committed the unforgivable sin or that God left you, then it means you didn't do it and he and he still loves you.
01:40:12
Speaker
He knows you want to get back to him and trust that and I trust that you will, otherwise you wouldn't have written this message. The guy responds, King Saul had God's spirit removed from him due to disobedience and became depressed, paranoid, and crazy.
01:40:26
Speaker
If you read the Psalms, David also talks about feeling utterly destroyed on the inside of his body, in his soul, because of his sin. The book of Lamentations also describes similar feelings the author felt from seeing Jerusalem being destroyed because of unrepentant sin. It's like...
01:40:41
Speaker
Okay, what do we, yeah how much reason do we do on the exact words to say? Yeah, okay. I'm with you a little bit more now. I think that this is just, yeah, I think it's just to retort with something like that, because I think what the, I think the, I mean, what this person said is fine. I mean, it's,
01:41:01
Speaker
a little silly. It's like, oh, well then if you're feeling this way, it means you never really did the thing and you can still do it. And it's like, that's a, that's a damaging proposal because, uh, you know, how many of us tried to redo the thing over and over and over again for 15 years before we,
01:41:18
Speaker
Like, cause you always kind of, whenever you hit that slump, you're like, what if I never, what if I never really was saved? And it's just, you have to go through that fucking torment and turmoil, but to respond with like all that emo shit of like, let me just go find all the most emo things in the Bible and be like, oh, look, see, it's here. It's like, okay.
01:41:37
Speaker
So obviously you've read this enough. Like you're just looking to – you're just looking to like for your own experience in the Bible, which is fine, and you can do that, and a lot of people do. and But like you're – so you're responding with what you think is a – with a biblical sense of your emotions and your feelings, but like, that's kind of, you're kind of invalidating your original post at that point that you're, you're leveraging the Bible to say that the way you feel is okay based on scripture. ah Yeah. Yeah.
01:42:14
Speaker
And that thing. So like, what are you, what are you doing? This is kind of where are you where are you putting time and effort into justifying your current state rather than like yeah trying to find your way towards something more positive?
01:42:27
Speaker
Yeah. um It's funny too, how you, how you can get like defensive over like people like pushing back on it. um He says, some so another guy says, you are right that you should take your your relationship with Jesus more with more important than anything else. You have spun a lot of drama, however, that is not helping you.
01:42:50
Speaker
Paul mentioned many, many times that they many that have shipwrecked their faith, but he was referring to Christians that were in the wrong churches and listening to the wrong people and believing false doctrine.
01:43:02
Speaker
The devil will throw new Christians under the bus with what amounts to legalism. Also, you're better off not going to the wrong church. So you so now. OK. Now you have to figure out what the right church is. And I'm sure it's exactly what what this guy thinks it should be. Oh, my God. The way this guy writes is very hard to read for some reason. So now you are in this ridiculous shame spiral and sound no different from the from the religious group. If you have faith, then start using it to declare the mercy of God instead of constantly rehearsing rehearsing your failures and sins. My recommendation is you stop going to the local church and listen to Joseph Prince, an awesome online pastor, and get your mind right. Peace. Oh, okay.
01:43:41
Speaker
Maybe this is Joseph Prince commenting. yeah It's just the one. Oh, there's actually only one guy who you should be listening to. if If you go in that direction, you're a huge fucking problem, and you need to just get off the internet.
01:43:55
Speaker
He responds, did you not even read the post? One of my problems is that I wasn't connected to a church. I was trying to do it on my own. It wasn't that I was at the wrong church or listening to the wrong people. Also, what I'm going through and describing isn't being dramatic.
01:44:12
Speaker
It's very tough and hard thing to be dealing with that I've had for months now, and it's not letting up. It affects my daily life and genuinely has wrecked me. I get the whole tough love approach, but sometimes it really isn't helpful.
01:44:25
Speaker
all right, you seem really crushed. This guy, what hes he's he's combative with everyone about everything. So just, what do what do we what are you doing? Like, what's the point? Yeah. What do you what do you want? You want people to go, the only... the only ah response that he'll accept is you're incredibly right thank you so much for your cautionary tale yeah it it reminds me of uh what was there was like a tim and eric sketch where they were in like a goth electronic band and they're being interviewed and they're like we are two very dark boys
01:45:06
Speaker
Yeah, he is. ah So I should. Oh, somebody else like responds to something. He says, so I shouldn't warn people that playing with sin can ruin your life and make you a depressed mess who feels far from God. How is that leading someone astray? I feel not saying something and trying to warn people who may need to hear it would be doing exactly that.
01:45:28
Speaker
It's like, oh, this is your mission field now. You warned people, and you... now So what? You feel so bad about yourself that you get to just do this on the internet and feel feel good because people heard you and in strayed from the wrong path? Like, this is bonkers.
01:45:47
Speaker
And it's so ridiculous to listen to him. Like, he he has, like, all of this... ah like knowledge of what Christians are supposed to be and supposed to do and stuff like that. But yet, like he's arguing that he's so detached from it. You know, he's like, yeah, somebody says he'd argue, he says the same like King David, King Saul crap again. and then he says, as far as works, I'm not preaching at people works as a Christian. You need to be involved in a body of believers. You can't do it alone or else you end up like I did.
01:46:19
Speaker
As a believer, it is essential to study your Bible and learn about it. I'm giving advice as someone who has experienced the terrible consequences because of not prioritizing these things. Take your own fucking advice, dude. Shut the fuck up. Right.
01:46:34
Speaker
Right. If I was preaching works, I would say things like, you need to tithe to be saved. You need to get water baptized to be saved. You need to help the poor to be saved. Coming from the guy who just bitched about not getting baptized. Yeah, shut up. you This guy sucks, dude. I like hate him.
01:46:58
Speaker
Yeah, so ah that's some mopey nonsense. Dude, I know we've been going a while. um do i want Should i try to quickly jump into this article that I wanted to do? Why not? Let's do it. My wife is stuck in the air. so yeah If you want to actually one more stop listening now, this is bonus content now. bo Yeah.
01:47:22
Speaker
Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time. All right. If you want to keep listening, then here's some bonus content. this is Yeah, this is ah this is ah the free Patreon content for the real ones. yeah ah i Yeah. I've been wanting to get to this one. I tried to last week. I didn't try to. We got to other stuff. And you know then we go, maybe we should cut the time. We'll just stop. I'll get to it next week. And I didn't because Casey, his wife was in rarity.
01:47:48
Speaker
Well, and your wife wasn't around, so you clearly had a little bit more time to spend on Reddit. um And that's, that's fine. You brought, you brought some reddit just going, you suck, dude. This sucks. This guy sucks. Oh, fuck this guy.
01:48:02
Speaker
I hate this dude. Uh, but this is important. Uh, some of you probably already heard it by now. Cause this was from, where's the date on this? Uh, May 7th. So couple, uh, you know, about 12 days out.
01:48:18
Speaker
Um, but, I saw this floating around Instagram ah as just little you know little snippets here and there. And so I decided to look it up. but the It's from NBC
Daniel Savala Scandal and Institutional Failures
01:48:29
Speaker
News. It says, Christian missionary, hailed as holiest man alive, pleads guilty to abusing boys in Texas. And we haven't touched on ah nefarious men preying on young boys in a little while. So like I've always said. I thought it just ended. I don't i didn't realize this was still happening.
01:48:48
Speaker
Yeah, you thought there was nothing left to grab. You thought they had all been caught and captured and detained by ICE. But no, um you know, it what stuck out to me, you know, I always say we like to avoid some of this stuff. But if you're going to put in quotes that someone was considered the holiest man alive, followed by sex abuse, I'm interested.
01:49:12
Speaker
I got to know a little bit about this guy. I didn't know anything about this guy. um i still don't i only read a little bit um so we got the article here we're gonna we're gonna peruse it uh this is in waco texas uh daniel savala a former missionary whose influence inside in assemblies of god that's okay big problem right assemblies of god chill out a little bit don't get so excited maybe weird shit won't happen as much um And Assemblies of God run college ministry persisted for years despite repeated warnings about his predatory behavior.
01:49:49
Speaker
Pleaded guilty Thursday to charges. He sexually abused two boys. Appearing by video from jail, Savala, who's 70. 70 years old and accused of abusing two boys. I don't want to know how many skeletons are in your closet.
01:50:05
Speaker
ah Or I do because you should be held accountable for them. So what hopefully we we know eventually. um Zavala entered the plea before Judge Susan Kelly, admitting to one count of continuous trafficking of persons, a felony charge for offenders who engage in a pattern of sexual exploitation involving multiple victims over time.
01:50:28
Speaker
Under a negotiated plea agreement, he was sentenced to 30 years in prison without the possibility of parole. Zavala dressed in whatever, who cares? I don't the plea i want Last year, an NBC investigation found that leaders in the Assemblies of God, the world's largest Pentecostal denomination, were warned again and again about Savala's history, but failed to cut off his access to students in Texas, even after 2012 child sex abuse conviction in Alaska.
01:51:01
Speaker
That's crazy. Whoa. He got convicted of child sexual abuse and they just like continued to ignore like warnings. Yeah. They were like, well, it's Alaska. It's basically not even the U S so it doesn't count.
01:51:17
Speaker
Instead, he remained a reverent, a revered spiritual figure among pastors in Chi Alpha, who called him Papa Daniel. Okay, if you're going by Papa, Papa Daniel. Chi Alpha.
01:51:29
Speaker
Yeah, you're um that's just a big no. Is it a fraternity? I think they're that's what they're going for because it's college related. So it's like a Christian frat. Chi.
01:51:42
Speaker
Oh, okay. Chi. Oh, yeah. Chi. Shut up. Wow. What a Christian school kid. Yeah. Well, you know, we didn't have fraternities of liberty. um Yeah, they called him Papa Daniel and the holiest man alive and sent scores of students to his Houston home for guidance.
01:52:01
Speaker
His personal home. Behind that image was a secretive ministry built around a backyard sauna where Savala invoked scripture to persuade boys and young men to undress, preaching that nudity is unity.
01:52:16
Speaker
He's going for that real bathhouse vibe, that real Russian bathhouse. That is an interesting sermon. i I am curious how you make the case for that. Nudity is unity.
01:52:27
Speaker
And blurring the lines between spiritual mentoring and sexual exploitation, according to his accusers and former followers. Unity... Nudity is unity. That is such an obvious... side like Okay, i don't want um I don't want to be a complete dickhead, but...
01:52:47
Speaker
You're in college and you didn't – I don't want to victim blame, but if I was in college and someone started preaching nudity is unity, i would been out of there so fucking fast. Yeah. I mean, when I was in high school – I've told this story before. My buddy Jesse and I visited a Christian Oh, They're not in college. They're not in college. These kids were – Oh. Okay.
01:53:09
Speaker
I guess that wouldn't necessarily be as much of a – It wouldn't warrant criminal charges in the same way if they weren't truth they were in college. ah Savala's devotees included a pastor from Waco who brought his own sons, ages 11 and 12 at the time, to Savala's home beginning in 2021. According to court records, the boys were in instructed to undress in the sauna. All right. Is this dad in prison? Is this dad getting charged? I was thinking the same thing, dude.
01:53:40
Speaker
that That is what comes to mind immediately, is you took your two boys there and left them? Or were you there getting naked with them? oh there's There's lots of questions to ask there. Savala sexually abused them while their father was present.
01:53:55
Speaker
Oh my god! Oh my god! The conduct at the center of the charges, Savala pleaded guilty to Thursday. The criminal case against the boy's father is pending.
01:54:08
Speaker
This is nuts. That is some dark stuff. Savala's plea carried weight for a broader group of accusers and whistleblowers, some of whom attended the hearing and saw the conviction as a culmination of decades of alleged abuse and years of ignored warnings. At least eight others have accused Savala of sexually abusing them as teens or young men, according to lawsuits, signed statements, and criminal filings.
01:54:35
Speaker
I feel like you you... Okay, so there's clearly there's way more to this. Because like, how so what how did that situation with the father... How did they get to that point?
01:54:50
Speaker
i Because clearly the father somehow... That's what i is so weird about all this type of stuff is like, they have ways of finding each other. It's Epstein shit.
01:55:00
Speaker
Yeah. It's weird. It's weird that this stuff is... ah more common than you would... Like, people bringing people to shit like that. Like, to bring a lamb to the slaughter like that is fucking nuts.
01:55:16
Speaker
Your own kids, too. Like... Yeah. It's like it's it's a violation of, like... even like your biological impulse to like protect your Can imagine?
01:55:27
Speaker
i mean, imagine though, like you're, cause this was a, this was a ah that one was actually not super long ago. That was in 2021. think wow. Um, wow um But still, like, 11 and 12, so now we're five years later, you're 16 and 17.
01:55:43
Speaker
Like, what the fuck? Like, how do you even, like, and how do you even have, a like, what what the what is your relationship with your dad, knowing that he just fucking offered you up like that? What did your dad what did your dad get for doing that Like, what what was in it for him and to to bring them into that situation? I mean, clearly he's a pervert, and there was, I mean, he was present for it, but, like, I don't know, I'm inclined to think that there's probably some transactional thing happening there.
01:56:15
Speaker
Yeah, unless the transaction was just some sort of spiritual clout in connection to holiness. I don't know. I don't think anybody thinks that's real.
01:56:26
Speaker
What?
01:56:28
Speaker
a Saval, who had made a name for himself in Pentecostal circles a world-traveling missionary, embedded himself in Chi Alpha at Sam Houston State University, we beginning where beginning in the 1990s, pastors came to see him as a supreme spiritual authority despite his lack of formal training or credentials. Why does that keep happening?
01:56:52
Speaker
i know. It's almost like there's something to gain for having this guy around. It's charisma. People like that riz. Yeah, it's it's kind of like, ah you know, Epstein ah regarded as like a master, you know, um money manager. yeah Despite having no formal records, no college degree in it, and just like absolutely no clients that actually like talk about how he did it.
01:57:19
Speaker
Dude, this, this yeah, yeah it yes. And as we'll see in this next section, this is, this is the kind of shit that people are drawn to because you can nuance it in a way within Christianity that works. Um,
01:57:34
Speaker
It says, as the ministry at Sam Houston grew into the largest Chi Alpha chapter in the country, his teachings, including an emphasis on unquestioned obedience to spiritual leaders, spread with it.
01:57:48
Speaker
Carried by former students who went to launch chapters across Texas and beyond. So, like... the left that it's it That's what it is in cults. Cults, religious circles, that like that that unquestioning... like you You cannot question or challenge your religious leaders because it's tantamount to questioning God.
01:58:10
Speaker
It's how they get these people... like it And it probably – it seems like it only – it has to only work on a certain type of person, a certain type of person who's interested in just being told the truth and not wanting to have to engage with it in a way. Like you're you're seeking some sort of absolution, some sort of comfort, whatever it is. but Well, I mean this guy's also 70. To be able to rise to prominence. To be able to rise to prominence just on like these types of teachings is – you you You can feign authority in these environments. That's what it It's like you can feign authority and people will buy in.
01:58:47
Speaker
Mark Driscoll has been doing it forever. Right. Yeah, and like this guy's 70 years old. There's all these chapters that opened up all over the place. like There needs to be like immediate investigation into all these other chapters because, I mean, did he personally vet a lot of the leaders of those chapters? Because if he did, I mean, seems like there's probably a pretty good chance that they were abused and groomed and stuff like that, and they turned around and did the same thing to others. Yeah.
01:59:18
Speaker
Yeah, it goes on to say this is the tip of the iceberg, he said in a hearing, one of the whistleblowers or accusers. It's not about one man. It's about a system that allowed one man basically to basically groom and manipulate and abuse people. And why did they allow it? Because people came to him and it brought money in.
01:59:34
Speaker
It brought money and growth, and you got to brag about your numbers and the amount of fucking chapters you were opening that does that's what this That's what people fucking care about. Further access. like it's the method all It's the means by which you acquire more victims. and yeah I don't know. You can't have a guy like this at the top of your organization and not have that rot running through every single aspect of it, I don't think.
02:00:02
Speaker
No, of course not. I mean, hello, Catholic Church. You just move people around. So, I mean, the article goes on to just talk about the various whistleblowers and other things like that. Just Google the holiest man, whatever. What did say was? The holiest man the world. These things get into court, and they do kind of tend to center around one person. That becomes the focus of the whole thing.
02:00:26
Speaker
But, like, so I'm in these car dealerships all day. Every day. People work long hours there. It's, you know, sometimes high pressure environment, especially in the sales department and stuff.
02:00:41
Speaker
Yeah. Huge front for human trafficking, right? Is that what you're going to say? Yeah. But, dude, it's it's crazy, like, how many times you hear about someone having an affair with someone else in the store and then, like, a whole big thing blew up. And it's, like, it's surprising, but everybody kind of knows sort of what's going on. And like that situation where everybody involved has like something big to lose if that's to get out. But yet everybody knows kind of even if they don't know, no, they they know, you know, they know they're minding their own business. This shit happens in schools, too.
02:01:19
Speaker
I feel like. Yeah. Yeah. Anywhere where people are working together, you're going have to agree. Yeah, because the the last job, ah ah basically all the jobs, i've every job I've had, actually, people there's been someone who's had an affair like as like as an adult. like I mean, at Liberty, I know that happened when I worked at and in fulfillment at Liberty University. you would hear stories constantly about people at affairs. I mean, we covered one of them a while back on this podcast. um
02:01:50
Speaker
but a guy who was you know sleeping with multiple people who was becky falwell jerked off one of trey's friends in the night yeah there was that but then through um through the fallow scandal there's another guy who is the all the dude it's the same thing that happens in politics too it's like you just rise to the top for being a nothing person who has no real skills to offer. And you just you're just picked because someone liked you or owed you something. And then you just, you're a boss and you don't have a real job. You just pretend like you tell people what to do, but really you're trusting their expertise.
02:02:31
Speaker
And you're just there to quote unquote pretend to manage. And it happens everywhere. But like every job I've had since since I was like my late teens, early 20s, it's like someone there's people having affairs at work And this guy's like ah he's a creepy old man. He's probably like very charismatic, I would imagine, when he speaks.
02:02:53
Speaker
And he probably acted kind of like an influence broker. It's like there was competition to climb the ranks within that group. you know Who got to go start new chapters? I'm sure he personally selected a lot of those guys, if not all of them.
02:03:10
Speaker
you know And yeah I think it's one thing you learn... like you just hear and affirm over and over again is that like people who are into that kind of behavior, they constantly are feeling out the people around them to see who might be of like a like mind, you know?
02:03:26
Speaker
Yeah. Like, I don't believe for a second that this is like relegated to one guy or a small group of people. Like I bet you this thing ends up being very broad in scale and that a lot of people are affected by it.
02:03:40
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. and i mean, when you, i think it was like almost, it was like 20 something, almost like whistleblowers. People have brought accusations against this guy for decades. Yeah.
02:03:54
Speaker
And they just got ignored by the overarching organization. And that. How does somebody. tell us all this time man All those years abusing all those kids.
02:04:07
Speaker
How does somebody not just blow his head off at some point? Right. Or call the cops like yeah you blow. yeah I guess that's a more reasonable. But that's what's crazy. is Maybe people did.
02:04:19
Speaker
That's what happens in these organizations, though, is like people like floated up to the people in charge and they're like, oh, we mentioned it, but nothing happened. Yeah. And you you're like, you know, like, yeah.
02:04:31
Speaker
you know like ah The whole scandal around that, like there was police involvement in it and, you know, like chief of police police centers in Omaha is like, you know, going to sex parties where they're trucking in these kids from Boys Town and it's. Fuck.
02:04:49
Speaker
That shit's nuts. a Anyway. Yeah. ah Well, I just wanted to blast someone out real quick and on a high note. I know how much everybody... Yeah, it was nice fun story yeah to yeah to close it out on. Yeah, I should have started with that one, but you know you were so eager.
02:05:04
Speaker
I think if there's a lesson to be learned in all of this, it's that... um if you feel disconnected from God, it's probably pornography. Okay.
02:05:16
Speaker
that's And out there might not be any hope for you. You're, you're living in hell. and And if people try to help you, you need to shut it down super fast and justify why your own misery. You have to do that. effort give Give them the biblical points on why they're wrong about you being wrong.
02:05:36
Speaker
I mean, that's the Christian way. Yeah. Debate them into submission about why you can't be saved. And then once people trust you enough, you just molest their children.
02:05:51
Speaker
That's a power play. It's a circular thing for sure. All right, everybody. Thanks for listening. And we will see you next time.