Transcript
Speaker: Hello, Chamber of Reasonites and Reasonheads out there. Welcome to the Chamber of Reason podcast, episode 50, the big one, big 5-0. What they call it?
Speaker: The golden episode. The centennial, the golden episode. The Golden episode. That's great. Well, it's it actually doesn't have Golden on it. Matthew Golden is absent today. Ironically enough. um As well as the other hosts, ah Derek and Pierce. You're probably wondering who we are.
Speaker: They are not able to record today because um they are not legally allowed to. There are some allegations that have been brought against them. Some trespassing allegations. They trespassed. They trespassed ah um spiritually, mentally, physically. Socio-emotionally.
Speaker: Emotionally. ah But we will take their place. I will say they are handling the allegations very gracefully. Extremely well. Extremely well. Extremely well.
Speaker: I'm very proud of them, but and I hope they can return to this podcast soon, and there won't be any trouble or any mischief. We have banded together to step up and defend the Chamber of Reason while it's True hosts are incapacitated.
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, we are protecting the chamber right now ah from you know public ah individuals who would come in and defile it. Yep. Yeah. We call them the others.
Speaker: The others. Right. like to keep our distance, to put it plainly. Because we're different from them. My name is Will Duncan. I'm standing in as a shadow clone for Pierce.
Speaker: I'm like kind of like the Red Ranger. A clone. So Pierce is in some trouble right now. He sent out ah a will signal and now I'm here to, to, to rep the mic for Pierce Campion. I'm a, I'm, I am drill D R I L. I'm a, I guess I, I'm the,
Speaker: but the The green ranger or the black ranger? You're black ranger, bro. We don't see color. We don't even notice that kind of thing. We just have rangers now. No colors, just rangers.
Speaker: I want to be the the the face, actually. I want to be the face in the tube. Zoran? Is His name was Zoran, I think. And he had the same politics.
Speaker: i will I voted for him. Jay, what's your Ranger power and who are you subbing in for? Oh, um I guess I'm kind of like the pink Ranger because I'm not afraid to show off. like i can I'm like man enough to wear pink.
Speaker: Totally. That's very respectable. That's super respectable. A lot of people look up to stuff. I don't know. There's just little things in life like that. We can think about how to sprinkle a part of our routine.
Speaker: Which Ranger died in a car accident? think it was red ranger that sucks that sucks man blood unfortunately that's dark that's dark humor that's shock dark humor that's blue like that kind of thing though right guys i think i do well not when it crosses the line a little bit it's done well Yeah. it's done well. So it was the yellow Ranger who died in a car accident in Bakersfield, 27, September 3rd, 2001. So in a way she dodged an even greater tragedy, which is kind of witnessing the beginning of the invasion of it. More people died.
Speaker: Yeah. She could ah handle the putty clan, but she couldn't handle fucking Bakersfield. jesus christ bakersfield is such like a flyover state it is but basket takes place in bakersfield oh that's a reference to um have you seen that show media uh i haven't not i have not seen i've seen clips it's pretty good oops cool It's pretty good.
Speaker: They filmed the final scene in the Arby's next to my college with the really big Arby's house recently taken down in Los Angeles. There was a ah final scene in in Arby's?
Speaker: I think the season finale is like if they do Thanksgiving in an Arby's. Oh, no. That's my alma mater where, Jay, you might be interested in this. They shot a Drake music video in that building.
Speaker: that i am it yeah tell me more that might tickle your fancy list i want to know what yeah tell me everything well this is sort of like a cultural mecca it seems like sort of a fixed point in the zeitgeist they shot it's about a 12 second shot of drake kind of doing the cha-cha slide or one of his typical kind of canadian moves on a kind of futuristic balcony and i believe it's for one dance the song one dance i would expect nothing less wait oh is god's plan the drake's music video where he gives out money to people at the beginning guys this is the back to you on that one i'm i'm gonna get back what are we doing here and then hotline bling i mean you guys know about how i'm playing right
Speaker: The music video for Hotline. Yeah, we know about Hotline. Bling, Will. what Ever since I left the city, you. yes Yeah. so Just a great... And then the Trump.
Speaker: don The Trump? hair that yeah just don't Let's just cop stop where we're ahead. just come on this Derek, come back now. Well, we need the the the blueprint that Derek sent us, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great idea. Derek doesn't really trust us to just... Wait, I have a question for you guys. Have you ever been on this podcast by yourself?
Speaker: By myself. You have, right, Drill? that I have, yeah. You have like a monologue? I think I humiliated myself. I told some like story about how I thought like a streak of toothpaste was cum on my arm when I was 10 years old.
Speaker: but Damn. And they never had me on since. Damn. Until today. i was on this podcast recently. Yeah, they're desperate for views and engagement and collab posts.
Speaker: um I was on this podcast recently and I will say i was shocked at the rudeness and the decorum with which those guys care about reading these questions in order.
Speaker: I don't know if you guys noticed that, but I was reading some of this stuff and they got so mad at me. Did you experience that drill? Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're typically just very angry people in general. They're always like mad at me or mad at each other. Yeah. Kind of like half why they're not like on this episode right now is because they're all like mad at each other and they're fighting and they can't agree to schedule a recording.
Speaker: It's brutal. is This is kind of like a chill episode, right guys? Oh yeah. We're going to be chill. I plan on smoking a little spliff later in this episode. o That's a cross of, uh, what is that? That's, um,
Speaker: patient doctor come I know you you're you're carrying a Miller High Life Jay's carrying ah a small dog think we're all ready to chill out I just had a couple of Tums I'm gonna have some stomach issues so we're we're all ready to die you guys ready to we're ready to riff I know TMI did you say TMI yeah you and's ah and obviously you guys know TMI know TMI I'm such a fool sometimes no man too many information Do you know peach?
Speaker: The acronym peach? said the emoji. Do you know the acronym peach drill? ah People everywhere are children. Whoa.
Speaker: Hey. Hey. I mean, at heart, right? At heart, yeah. At one point, that was true. No, peach. I learned this at summer camp. but It means person easily affected can hear. Yeah.
Speaker: Think about that. So if you're like talking shit about someone and they go peach, that person is right behind you. Oh, what do we think about that? Giving me pretty good annoia a paranoid episode. That's giving you a paranoid episode. Spread that information too much. Like it's not going to work anymore, but it still could work because it could shield the the person affected from hearing something really nasty, you know?
Speaker: True. And that's what it's all about is protecting people's feelings. That is true. I just wanted to share that. I think that's that's a useful acronym and tool for Chamber of Reason Heads.
Speaker: The Reasonites. to Just a little toolkit for your mental bat utility belt. so That's what I like to just say. Life hacks.
Speaker: Yeah. Also, i don't know if I introduced myself, but I also just want to say that I was also on this podcast to answer your question, Will. And i had no similar experience to you.
Speaker: So yes, in one way, we i don't believe there was a list of any kind, but i empathize with you and I understand, yeah, a lot of anger. So I'm looking forward to a really chill episode with you guys.
Speaker: Same. Great. Oh yeah, it's Jay too. Why don't we ah crack open these questions here? ah So we're going to like, ah we need to establish an order.
Speaker: yeahp i think we'll will do it alphabetically. Great. That would be, a yeah, Jay would be first. I'd be second. Will, I'm afraid you're third with that big W. but aren you and think this is one time you don't want the w Aren't you before Jay?
Speaker: P? P is after Jay, I believe. I thought you were D for some reason. I thought you were a d Oh, well, I'm going by my my slave name. Okay. that cheat Don't worry about it.
Speaker: Well, then, you know, you you can do whatever you want here. So I'll be last. It is the one time you don't you don't want the W. Best for last. Thank you, Jay. But we could also just like do our thing, freestyle. This is like an experimental podcast. That's true That's what I was told.
Speaker: True. I would actually like to do the third one. So i'm i'm i'm feeling I'm feeling pretty good about that. All right. Well, Jay, you can kick it off. kickoff. Okay. So I'm going to read number one.
Speaker: Yeah. so I just want to say, I think these three questions are perfect for each of us in the order that they are In in a way they kind of are, they, they show a little bit of our personality in these questions. That's all. I think it was destined to be, I think it was this way. So awesome let's roll. Okay. So number one is, uh, from stupid questions, the title is,
Speaker: Why don't countries send their prisoners as soldiers into war? Okay. And the body is. It would be a lot better than conscripting awesome members of society.
Speaker: Like I know that most people would think, oh no, they might betray their country. But like that's only for, I'd say 10% of prisoners. Most of them would still put an effort, especially if they were promised freedom or a shorter sentence if they win.
Speaker: And then in all caps, edit. OMG, why is everyone so mad at me? It's called stupid questions for a reason. that chamber of reason?
Speaker: Wow. I agree with that. i'm not mad at him because it's a really good ah question. It's actually not a stupid question. I'm mad at him for posting in the wrong subreddit. Yeah.
Speaker: Good questions. Should have been in good, really good question. Good questions. Intelligence questions. Reddit. oh yeah Immediately. And maybe this is because I just recently saw my friend and collaborator Pierce do stand up about this, about firefighter, prisoner, slave workers.
Speaker: guys know about that? I mean, you're Californians, so I yeah i assume you're familiar with the topic. What, what? i want broadly What, what? he Come on. I know he has a lot of issues with firefighters.
Speaker: Jay, do you like training day? The movie with Denzel, right? I know that. I know that. Do you like that movie? Yeah. oh yeah yeah do i do like that okay fuck yeah i mean uh i i know one reason why uh we can't send prisoners to wars because then hillary clinton wouldn't have anyone to ah do her gardening wow wow
Speaker: Well, I'm going to counter you here, John. say I'm going to say we could do it because we have these firefighters that we get to fight fires, which is essentially like shooting buildings and dropping bombs on people. so Yeah, it's like kind of the opposite of war.
Speaker: Yeah, we have prisoners doing the opposite of war in Southern California drinking mojitos. I think we could send them over there with an elite task force. Water is the opposite of fire.
Speaker: You're the tiebreaker here, Jay. The reader of the question. That's correct. I read that. I read it. guess that's that's part of why they call it that, I suppose.
Speaker: as he he He only thinks like 10% of prisoners would betray their country. yeah i think he's kind of low-balling it. Very curious where he got that from. i mean, I think if you're in prison, you've already betrayed your country.
Speaker: Damn. I think a lot of those guys are actually not ah werere falsely accused, y'all. You know saying? I do know what you're saying.
Speaker: Some of them. But if they promise freedom, if they win, now I'm starting to, that 10% is starting to actually make some sense to me. That's kind of like like a Mr. Beast game. i like that.
Speaker: I like m yeah i like game or his games, I believe. It's Squid Game. That's Squid Games. Isn't that what Australians are? Aren't Australians... Or no, that's the British's prisoners that they put on an island and then they made a society. Oh, I don't i want to touch that topic, actually. yeah touch New Zealand.
Speaker: I mean, that's what Australia is. It's basically a a jail that became a country. No, any Australians listening, we that was a character. but That was not on purpose.
Speaker: Seriously, we like a lot of Australians. We're actually pretty down to earth. I've met some groovy Australians in hostels in foreign countries. Yeah, they they spend time in hostels.
Speaker: The Australians, they did their time ah in the jail. That is their country. They rehabilitated Now they're nice. We like them. They're released through hostels into society. and It's like rump spring. You get to live at a hostel for a year and just pretend you've only been there for a week to everyone you meet.
Speaker: and talk in ways that I can't even understand half the time. Freaks. I literally can't understand a lot of that stuff. Yeah. You guys are from the United States, I believe.
Speaker: So far, so good. Absolutely. I've heard almost everything. Yeah. Most of the things you guys, I hear it. You've heard. You're straining. I hear, yeah, you've been heard. And that's what we want on podcasts. People want to feel heard.
Speaker: I'm from Maryland. Okay. Ever heard of that? 410? well What? It's a great state. It's pretty good. fine. You know about that? I feel like a lot of Americans don't even know about Maryland.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. It's kind of like a you know Washington, D.C.' 's neighbor. ah Kind of like the bulwark, which protects our nation's capital. The Bulbasaur. It's like squeezing it kind of. Almost a little too much, but they forgive I'll tell you what an Australian guy doesn't know what Maryland is.
Speaker: He's like, Maryland, what's that? What the? That's the bird I was with last week. That's what an Australian would say. We're going to alienate a lot of that. And that's a big country land land-wise, at least. Land-wise, big country.
Speaker: So let's just be cool. Okay, we're cool. I'm cool with Australia. Be cool. c Come man. see Oh, you've upset the animal. That's why you wanted us to be cool.
Speaker: She sensed the aggression. Yeah, she's a puppy, so she can sense. You know, she's from beyond pretty recently. so Pretty recently, yeah.
Speaker: She's still tapped into the spirit realm. She's actually from Tijuana. And I just found out, I saw her vet papers, and her name is Laura Banuelos. Whoa. What do you call her?
Speaker: Gurley. Gurley. Nice. A double named dog is, I mean, that's brutal. That's crazy. That's a whole, she had a whole life in Mexico. I once got a dog from Mexico, from Tijuana and it had worms. oh Oh no. I'm about to eat. got We got rid of them worms.
Speaker: Was that like one of those dogs? they Cause I drove to Tijuana before or Ensenada and ah yeah, at the border there's just like guys trying to like sell you dogs on the street.
Speaker: Like while you're trapped at the border. I did not have that experience, but I would not be surprised if that's where this dog came from. My dog or your dog? My former dog that is still alive, but I'm no longer his owner.
Speaker: Who's ah the owner and what can get to on the line? That's just a bit of a touchy subject, Jay. So I just just might want to tread carefully there. It's just tender wounds. Nobody can own a dog. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. i think there's a lot it's a lot more complicated than we think. it can only be adjacent to a dog and sort of absorb its energy.
Speaker: You think that it thinks that you own it. You think that. But you will never know for sure. That's kind of cool. So I don't know about this question. I i don't know why they don't do it.
Speaker: I guess because if if I was in jail and I was offered this, I would say yes just to get a change of scenery. But then if I was promised freedom after it, I would definitely just do that.
Speaker: So they might have to give out too many freedoms. You know what i mean? yeah want They want dense prison base. Freedom's good. I mean... It's like when you're playing Monopoly and you get like a get-out-of-jail-free card. like No one questions it. I don't question that shit. When I when i land on it, at least.
Speaker: right When my peer lands on it, it's a little another story. Ooh, boy. I don't like Monopoly. I hate Monopoly. oh that was it i've I've never had fun playing Monopoly. I'm sorry.
Speaker: The most fun of Monopoly is choosing your piece at the beginning, and then it's downhill from there. It's downhill from there. it should just be that. Well, what are your pieces? Well, they got the dog. i like the dog.
Speaker: I can't even recall my pieces, to be honest. Monopoly pieces. There's the car, the shoe, the thimble. car spring Fuck the iron. The car is awesome.
Speaker: Car is so cool. The top hat, bro. The top hat is amazing. Thimble. Not really rocking with the thimble. not going to lie. What is that? My mom's going to pick that one. My mom's going to be like, I'll use the thimble.
Speaker: It's not even like a real thimble, like the one that fits on your finger and protects you. It's so tiny. It's just kind of like ah a fake thimble that's like filled in with metal. Get out the way, mom.
Speaker: I'm hitting the car. You can have the thimble. I'm not hitting the car or the choo-choo chin. Or the Battleship. Wheelbarrow sucks. Wheelbarrow sucks, bro.
Speaker: How many fucking pieces are there? Are people doing like eight player Monopoly games? There are 11 pieces. Seems like a great way to get like eight people bored for four hours. Alright.
Speaker: Alright, P. Come on. i'm I'm done with Monopoly. I'm fucking pissed. I like the game and i am open to playing with the usual hosts and others. You know, the others. The others?
Speaker: what's your favorite What's your favorite board game? or Or card game? I got into code names during the pandemic. That one's fine. but one's fine. like ah Sounds good. the The game of chess. The game of minds.
Speaker: I like the game of minds. The original game of minds. That is an incredible game. I like Egyptian Rascrew. What was that game ah Elon was saying ah is better than chess because it has fog of war?
Speaker: Bloodborne.
Speaker: I don't think that was it. Blad Blade. Jay, you know Egyptian Rats Crew? I would love to play Egyptian Rats just yeah screw right believe I do. i believe so. Are you good at that? you good at slapping kind of game?
Speaker: Yeah, I got um i got like actually a pretty... I'm pretty quick. I don't know if you knew that. but so I don't think I was aware of that. that's Wow. That's...
Speaker: o That's just a lot to take in right now. That's wow. You're fast. I didn't know. Okay. Shit. ah thank This whole time. I don't know. I had this image. average kind of like you Yeah. Just like tortoise.
Speaker: More on the tortoise. Not that that's a bad thing. I mean, the tortoise beats the hare, but. Matthew's being kind of the hair, you being more of the tortoise. That's that's kind of cool. That's just where I had things. I'm going to pull up question two here. I think it's my turn.
Speaker: all right from so This is from ah Spirituality. The Spirituality Board. um Title is Prison Planet Theory. ah In short, there's a community of believers in the idea that the human soul has been trapped by the Demurge and his archons and into enduring lifetime after lifetime in the reincarnation cycle farm for in quotes, loose.
Speaker: The suffering we feel is not about karma, but about serving malicious deities that feed on it. Even the loving quotes, spiritual beings on the other side are manipulating the soul into returning with love bombing technology and false teachings about of balancing the karma.
Speaker: Who these light beings really are is extraterrestrial aliens from a higher dimension, AKA archons. Uh, some believe that these deities choose to incarnate incarnate here at will and choose the best lives for themselves while the rest suffer a lifetime of hardship by design.
Speaker: What are this spiritual community's thoughts on this idea? Well, you heard it. there're no Damn, I'm going to be honest. Fully, just completely zoomed zoned out.
Speaker: for the I mean, I've read the thing and even I've... I went into just like, oh, there's a crazy person talking to me in a McDonald's parking lot mode. It was just like, I don't Crazy alert. And you were like, I'm out. I'm going to read I'm kind of just like, what was the question again? didn't Manipulating the soul in a return of love bombing technology. Love bombing.
Speaker: i need to yeah I need to reread it. Should we reread it? Should we actually reread it and try to try to understand what it's asking? Well, one of you read it this time and maybe I will absorb something from it.
Speaker: I'm going to read it. I'm going to really try to understand this. I'm going to give them my best shot out of respect. All right, it. In short, there's a community of believers in the idea that the human soul has been trapped by the, I think, Demiurge and his archons into enduring lifetime after lifetime in the reincarnation cycle farm for Loosh.
Speaker: okay Okay. Already pretty shaky for me personally, but no I'm hanging on to some stuff. I don't know where the citation needed. Hello.
Speaker: A couple citations. What's loosh? The lowercase there is really freaking me out. Well, it's in quotes, so it's probably he's like... It's like when white people say the N word.
Speaker: and Right. have to like So that's a slur. That's what we have to know about Lush. You should not say that stuff. Let's just move on. Okay. The suffering we feel is not about karma, but about serving malicious deities that feed on it. Okay. They feed on our suffering. Even the loving spiritual beings on the other side.
Speaker: are manipulating the soul into returning with love bombing technology. and fact Okay, that's where you lose me. That is completely where it's your argument has stopped making sense. Things aren't adding up. The Jenga tower has fallen for me personally.
Speaker: because It's too much. it's It's too much. stuff I say TMI. i say TMI, peach. The other beings can hear what we're talking about. Did he like read this somewhere? Did he like, did somebody tell him this? Did he just kind of think of it?
Speaker: I like that he's saying at the beginning in short, like he's kind of rolling his eyes that he has to tell you. i like summarize. Yeah. He's like, okay, so like, let's just get out of this out of the way. And it's like, that feels like the main point.
Speaker: I mean, that's why we're so confused is because we need the, ah the long version. We're reading the cliff notes here. I need the Bible of this community. If you really want me to answer this question. Yeah, we're going to need a bit more information. We're open, though. I mean, I'm not i'm not saying, hey, no, no, no, no. I don't say that kind of thing.
Speaker: But... We're going to need a little more ah a little more this. Informazione. i want to know more about the Archons. I think he just like played a ah game of like Magic the Gathering.
Speaker: yup and He thought, wow, this is all real. i just never heard of Loosh until today. didn't know about Loosh. I like that. Is that like Twin Peaks, Garmin Bolzia?
Speaker: I don't know what that is. i don't know about that. I think it's like a similar concept. I think he just like is writing fan fiction of his favorite intellectual property here.
Speaker: It really is Magic the Gathering. Everything he mentioned is like that's a cool new deck for Magic the Gathering. Like Archons. Yeah, sounds cool. I think Archons are just like guys who are made out of rocks and that are held together by like blue fire.
Speaker: Loosh. They're held together by Loosh. That's like the force. Yeah, mana. Mana. I feel like the problem with this whole theory is that there's just there's literally no proof.
Speaker: So come back to me. i like the thought of a ah ah Christian person answering this. Like they're in the spirituality community. What are the spirituality community's thoughts on this idea? Christian person's like, I mean, think you're, you've lost it. I think he's like, I think he might be like one of these like Demi urges, one of these like dark beings.
Speaker: And his intention here is to absorb thoughts. So he's asking for the spiritual community's thoughts because they're probably like the most powerful thoughts on the planet. And he's going to like drink them through a straw and become more powerful.
Speaker: He's using love bombing technology right now. Yeah. To absorb energy. I'm using love bombing. Hell, I'm using love bombing it technology right now.
Speaker: Have you ever love bombed someone, Jay? It's an effective technique. And I'm not going to say much. i'm not going to say not so much
Speaker: or hate bombed it's not really good i've been hate i've been hate bombed in slow motion you know actually wait a second do you guys know about koosh or no whatever it's fine is that like louche don't know about yeah like ah it's like a ball i it's like a really easy to catch ball i know but yeah it's like made of like little rubber strings yeah i know that okay is it like this oh No, that's moon.
Speaker: Will just showed a very geometric and cool bouncy ball that was on his desk. This is why there should be video technology. I wish we had the... c Whatever. Let's just focus on the audio.
Speaker: I wish you a Merry Christmas. Oh, I wish you... that was Oh, that was it? All right. Do you like... Sorry. i I just... I don't know. i like You like Christmas carols. You like Christmas? I like that song a lot. Yeah.
Speaker: We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Good tidings we bring with holiday cheer.
Speaker: yeah We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We love it. We love that. Silver and gold.
Speaker: Gold. So my question is from Ask History. Title of the question. Is Hollywood the only reason by cowboys were slash are romanticized?
Speaker: Once again, the question is is, Hollywood the only reason why cowboys were slash are romanticized? America has been romanticizing cowboys for a very long time now, and I don't exactly understand why. The Wild West, as we think about it, was just fantasy.
Speaker: Most old Western towns were just dusty settlements with folks trying to strike it big. It was super cheap to make Westerns, and thus the myths were born. i mean, cowboys aren't basically like shepherd, but on horses.
Speaker: Yet, nobody romanticized shepherds. What's exciting about cattle ranching? LOL. Oh, man. Yeah. Wow. Well, my answer is kind of, yeah, prejudice. yeah There's a lot that's exciting about cattle ranching. i mean, that's a rewarding, rich, cultural pastime. It's a tradition. It's it's part of America. i mean, I don't think all cowboys herded ah cattle. I think some of them like robbed trains and like shot people blow up bridges. Yeah, they robbed old banks and and and and had sex with, you know, town.
Speaker: town lady Yeah, women with like giant like fluffy dresses. And little top hats and like a steam. Yeah. A little like baby bonnets and shit. And there's a gear. There's a rusty gear in her hat.
Speaker: Please. I also find this flawed because of the whole nobody romanticizes Shepard's sentence. I don't.
Speaker: i I mean, yeah, i romanticize Shepard. So immediately. Yeah. I find out. Yeah. More and more people are romanticizing Shepard's. I mean, jesus Jesus Christ. I mean, he was a shepherd.
Speaker: Exactly. Also, there's a liberal elite kind of condescension in this question. Most old Western towns were just dusty settlements with folks trying to strike it big. talking about? What are you talking about? You're from Connecticut. You're 18.
Speaker: You just got into Yale. I mean, what what are we doing here? Come on. They discovered the West. What's wrong with a little dust? Exactly. Exactly. we have eyelashes to prevent or it filters some of it it filters a little bit yeah i yeah my eyelashes filter a good amount of dust when i'm in the west coast is this guy who's this guy probably think is probably like the the clean clean pretty boy ah totally he probably likes silicon valley pink fleshy doughy little little chair boy
Speaker: Yeah. Get out there or sack up or something. He breathes in a little bit of cowboy dust and he suddenly like turns red and starts crying. little bit of cowboy dust.
Speaker: Well, let's prove him wrong here. Is Hollywood the only reason why cowboys were romanticized? No, they were also romanticized as... The Marlboro Man is a cowboy.
Speaker: you know, that's a it's not a TV show. It's ah what a amazing. It's got to be some a really good TV show. It's got to be some books. Yeah, there's got to be some books about a cowboy or maybe some bookmarks made. no bellla Cowboy boots. People like cowboy boots.
Speaker: That culture is big in the Southwest. So Hollywood is not the only reason. The University of Wyoming is... Nickname is the Cowboys. so Cowboys.
Speaker: Yeah, there's so many Cowboys. So enough with the Hollywood. Maybe you need to turn off Netflix and focus on a little bit more chill. I think an Indian wrote this.
Speaker: Yeah. Cowboys rival. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. not not I'm not talking, you know. You're not talking Southeast Asian. Not from the country of India. Not the, no. Yeah.
Speaker: What the hell? people't Cowboys aren't even that cool. They're kind of cool. They have a gun. They have a cool hat. Yeah. big whoop I mean, that's what they're doing. They're like utilizing the ah cyber warfare against the Cowboys.
Speaker: Because they don't have computers. I have not seen a lot of Westerns, going to be honest. I haven't spent my time. I mean, I know about Clint Eastwood. I know they're planning on sending him into space soon. Did you see that?
Speaker: No. Yeah. They're going to send Clint Eastwood up into space. Oh, he's going to love it up there. It's the littlest amount of protection a human has ever had in space. that's They're doing it with Clint Eastwood.
Speaker: They're going to test how far the human body can stretch. He's excited. That's good. deal He's built for that. Happy for him. yeah plant. I'm jealous, dude. We should go to space, you guys.
Speaker: i wish i would let there i was I wish I was with their ah Katy Perry Bezos. I wish was wishho on that flight. Katy Perry went up there. How many feet Katy Perry get up there? How many feet? 300 feet? How many feet up there was Katy Perry?
Speaker: How many feet up? How many feet was Bezos? Amazon.com founder, my ass. Something like that. My freaking ass.
Speaker: My ass. Is that miles? They're miles above us if they're in space, right? Or is it just a couple feet? It's like 300 think it's like, like 3,500 feet. 3,700 feet. Let's give to...
Speaker: three thousand to seven hundred three thousand seven hundred feet let's just give it You're halfway to space if you're like in a tall building. yeah In Burbank, California.
Speaker: o That's a nice place. i like that. Shout out. Go burank Burbank. Who lives in Burbank? ah no no No one really. and yeah Hollywood elite.
Speaker: ah Yeah. you want to hang and you You're going to want to hang around there. In the Burbank shopping mall where I saw Chris D'Elia once. Oh, did you say hello?
Speaker: Nope. I was scared him. Smart. Wait till you can work with him. Just wait till the right moment and see him on cool level. You got to perfect the pitch.
Speaker: here to view here Okay, that's good. That's right. I got to be thinking like that. Yeah, i't I don't know. just We can talk offline about stuff like that. I would be interested in that actually.
Speaker: I think we should read the next one because i have a kind of a i believe I'm going to have a take on it. Ooh, I like takes. That's cool. Jake, it's jas can you serve that up? Oh, my thang. Oh, okay. This is from Ask UK.
Speaker: Wait, is this Ask Jeeves? or Nah. Oh, he's dead. Nah, that's a whole different program, man. Okay, okay, okay. So the title is Serving Milk in Pubs, UK, Why Not?
Speaker: The body says, the first drink I had in a pub was milk. I love drinking milk. I now drink it for the protein and calcium. I don't particularly like fizzy drinks.
Speaker: So when I'm driving on a night out, I'd rather drink milk. Why don't pubs sell it as a drink? Okay. Yeah. A fucking baby posted that.
Speaker: Just a baby. Ouch. Sorry, you never wrote that if you're listening. Baby called on the computer. I don't like fizzy. big thirsty baby. When I'm driving on a night out, I'd rather drink milk. Why why are you asking about pubs selling it than you're driving? That's a baby lying to try and be like, I'm an at adult.
Speaker: I have to drive and drink my milk at a pub. So I struggle with this. Yeah. with With milk in particular. I'm struggling with this right now. I mean, milk spoils really fast to me. I'm always catching my milk spoiling and I have just multiple milks that reek. It's not like portable. It's not portable beverage.
Speaker: In the Netherlands, they leave their milk out in the kitchen all day and it is just warm milk that forms a nice solid lip on the top. Yeah.
Speaker: so how are they do how are they doing that i've had that milk how they doing that what would what do you think how are they making that happen i think their cows are just not infected with every disease known to man right damn remember mad cow disease yeah that was like one of the first uh global pandemics i remember as a child i remember being like yo mad cow disease don't eat the red meat i mean i only remember it because of the the it was like one of the first internet memes it was like a crazy looking cow oh yeah move bed bad cow disease woohoo
Speaker: It's like one of those memes. Oh my God. No, just the jaw moving. what like Yeah, it's just like the the mouth was moving. I don't remember seeing that, but I do remember mad cow disease being one of the first internet meme things I saw. This was like back when email was the primary communication and it was just...
Speaker: You know what I think a lot about, which I think Jay might have an interesting take on? and i know yeah takes I do like that. Yeah. The era of the internet that's like, ah in Russia, bear attack you.
Speaker: That time period where the like in Russia joke, you know what i'm talking about? Oh, yeah The Russia, the differences between Russia and that to me is like a solid era of the Internet from like 2004 to like 2015.
Speaker: And I hated that joke immediately. But then it just it was it's everywhere. and you and you now you it's evolved or i think it's mostly gone away much like the discourse around pirates versus ninjas and plants plants versus zombies and all that's the worst jokes yeah yeah absolutely he's literally fucking dead oh is he he perished chuck norris died yeah My community is still making those jokes. so Yeah, this was like really recently. You didn't hear about this?
Speaker: I literally think I thought that was fake news.
Speaker: i mean, that was just what the joke morphed into. was like you know Oh my god, he died this year. He died in Hawaii. No punchline. Well, he died in Kauai. 86. Good on you, man. Rest in peace, Chuck Norris, man. What a coat.
Speaker: What a goat. Not only name royalty, but his movies were low-key awesome. They had action to them, i suppose. There's elements action. More art and experimental films, though. so Very thrilling, thrilling movies. You like more art and experimental films, is what you Yeah, a little bit more on the artsy side, that sort thing. Yeah.
Speaker: Interesting. He was trying stuff that the other filmmakers were afraid to try. Chuck Norris was. Yeah. And Chuck Norris freaking died. i mean, talk about a freaking omen, man. We literally live in hell.
Speaker: Yeah. Chuck Norris can't take it. Like how the hell are guys like us supposed to do much? I gotta say that wasn't on my 2026 bingo card is Chuck Norris fucking dying.
Speaker: freaking getting shot in the head in Hawaii. Getting run over. Chuck Norris is sitting on a beach drinking a Mai Tai he got shot in the head. Are you for real? Like from a sniper? No, a guy walked up to him with a gun, just a Beretta and just pulled out, shot him in the head. It more like a shotgun. was kind of one of those spread shots.
Speaker: Damn, yeah. Just an old enemy of Chuck Norris' is like a Chinese gangster guy that he crossed in the 80s. Shot his head off. but Caught up to him. i mean, you can't do that for forever, man.
Speaker: He was like building a sandcastle. With his nine sons. No, he was building a sandcastle and the the bully kicked the sand into his face so hard that he died.
Speaker: the bully. Yeah, the beach bully. The beach bully. Okay. okay ah Screenplay. Three of us write a little screenplay. The beach bully. Okay. The beach bully. I'm thinking I played the bully. Jacobi the hunk. Kind of a Baywatch hunk.
Speaker: drill yeah baby ha the principal of the beach the principal of the beach you're the beach principal because jay goes to school the beach i love that just an idea just a starter point it does say on his wikipedia that he his death is private so i think this is this is like actually there's a lot of demand what happened private It was a private death. Jay, you are straight snooping on Chuck Norris. Well, it's Wiki. Wiki right now. You are snooping on Wiki right now. I curious because you said the whole thing about the gun and I was like, I live in cave? live in a
Speaker: and then i i don't know that i just wanted to do some like text so what is it quick research quick wiki quick wiki yeah quick actually i feel like that's actually pretty catchy will you just thank you i was kind of yeah that's kind of a wallace and grommet style approach to comedy i think quick wiki yeah certain yeah There's a certain British... How do you do that exactly? Click wiki.
Speaker: Click wiki. That could be the name of a gnome or like a post office worker in the Walson Gromit universe. right Love that. yeah they should use that you know in the annoying ah on the top of wiki it always demands us yes yes i hate that shit and then if i was there i would be yeah a little bit more open that pisses me off no other fucking website begs me from my help right it's really sad yeah they should just like post ads like every other website
Speaker: You're text only, bro. You don't even have videos. This shit's easy to do. can do Wikipedia. by myself yeah actually they should just be corrupt already they should just it's it's in style to be corrupt for real um yeah number five from spirituality another another hit from spirituality uh this one looks to be a doozy uh do you guys think the connection and love people toward feel towards uh mj is spiritual
Speaker: ah We all know Michael Jackson was such a huge artist and his death is still so heartbreaking for many people, including me. i always see people saying they dream about him, adore him. And especially since the new biopic ah going back to into their MJ phase and feel this really deep connection to him. And honestly, I get it too.
Speaker: I'm not even usually that into celebrities, but with Michael, it just feels different somehow. So many people say they feel connected to him on a deeper level, which really makes me wonder if there's something spiritual about it, especially since Michael himself talked about manifestation and bigger purposes.
Speaker: It's honestly so interesting how so many people still feel so strongly connected to him even now. Is there a spiritual reason? Plus also nobody reaching his level of popularity thus far.
Speaker: That's a weird way to. little shade at the end there. Yeah. A little stray there. A little. He put the plus sign. Yes. After the question mark. I like that. And then added to the question. that's Can't be doing that. Sassy. Oh, you don't like the plus?
Speaker: No, I don't think that's good. um Well, I think he's asking, ah do you think like MJ is ah spiritual? Well, this person was clearly very touched by Michael Jackson. no pun intended. Okay. He's just having a little bit of humor about the ah pretty taboo subject matter that's surrounding this. but he So there's certainly a spirituality around Michael Jackson. I mean, a huge fan pop star, but ah I find, a I don't know.
Speaker: Yes, Michael feels different. and well Yeah, what would that be? The Thriller? Because he talks with the spirits in that in that music video. The music video for Thriller certainly was a banger that connected a lot of America at the time.
Speaker: And the world. Yeah, and the I think like when his hair got set on fire during that Pepsi commercial or whatever, i think like all Americans could like feel the pain from that.
Speaker: Did that happen? Mm-hmm. Yeah, there was a hair fire incident. Yeah, that was not ideal, right? It was kind of ideal. You guys might be slightly older than me.
Speaker: Do you remember when Michael Jackson held the baby out of the window? That was, yeah, Blanket. Yeah, Blanket. I remember. What? The baby Blanket. Because i i I think I was, I remember like seeing a picture of that when i was like two years old.
Speaker: Yeah, I saw that. But I was like way too young to understand. But that would have been insane. i mean, i mean i think at two years old, you can understand the horror of being dangled from a balcony.
Speaker: Yes, I think that's why it stuck in me. but yeah um I think his name was Blanket. um The baby's name was Blanket? a Blanket was like what he always covered his face with when he was out in public.
Speaker: He just like threw a blanket on top of his head. Michael Jackson did. Yeah. Due to sun exposure or UVM. you feel Perhaps UV rays. I mean, I guess that's like ah i mean a positive side effect of having a blanket on your head. but I actually wrote a stand-up set about Michael Jackson, and um I'm fully prepared to... You want to rip it real quick?
Speaker: Well, I actually don't know if I have a full set, like a a long set that I have. I have one joke that... Let's hear it. let's I mean, let's go. I'm excited to hear this. And then I have a question about Michael Jackson after that.
Speaker: Right. Okay. So I'm just going flag that. I tried to re one time i tried to recreate the he he sound and now my neighbors think I'm either possessed or rehearsing for.
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, you know, o like that I'm rehearsing or I'm either possessed or I'm either rehearsing for a very niche tribute act.
Speaker: I don't know. I like it, yeah. I just thought that could help. yeah Then we could do that. Then we could do that. When Michael Jackson die?
Speaker: 2009? Yeah. Somewhere around then. During the Obama... when did michael jackson die two thousand and nine yeah yeah somewhere and then look during the obama Just when Obama's hope was starting to kind of... Right when Obama was inaugurated, yeah the pressure just killed Michael Jackson.
Speaker: The cultural force. That's really... The cultural tsunami. Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't be joking. You mean the hope? Like the hope? Dude, when Obama got elected, it was like straight up a Star Wars movie. like It was like New Hope, Empire Strikes Back. Right.
Speaker: Hope and change. Beginning a new era, Blue Energy Shield shoots out from America and covers the Middle East. And then gas prices hit like $3 and our everyone was like, oh, I hope you are loving that hope and change that he promised you.
Speaker: That was pretty funny. Remember that? Yeah. I don't remember that. $3 seems like nothing. That was pretty funny. Yeah. Gas prices hit $3 and everyone, like, probably like 20% of Americans killed themselves.
Speaker: But isn't it like triple that now? Gas is like $12 a gallon. Well, yeah, but that's because ah it's it's good that it's that expensive now. oh that okay that they changed that okay i mean yeah it's kind of just like to weed out all those the stupid poor people from the road you know it's just i see i hadn't i didn't i hadn't gotten that okay i didn't get that it's good that notification yet in my bad i didn't know okay okay i also have one other just really fast one last stand up not a set but just a joke about michael jackson
Speaker: Did you just write this while we were talking, man? No, no, no, no. We were just carrying the episode for a little bit. You just wrote this at Google Docs. No, this is not off the dome. This is old. So I'm not saying this is the best stand-up, but it's not bad.
Speaker: I'm excited. I'm excited. But I've never actually said it, um so we'll see. The moonwalk is the only dance move where moving backward somehow moves your career forward.
Speaker: It's good. pretty good It's a classic. Where's the lie? Yeah. It's more of like a... It's not necessarily a joke, but... So it never made the set. That's an observation.
Speaker: That could be a really good... You would have a good career as a greeting card writer, I think. Really? That would be a good... There's a cat typing on a computer and it says that in a Tron Legacy font on the front. I like that. Maybe it costs $19.99 or something and there's pop-out element.
Speaker: And then on the back it says, greeting card by J. Wine Garden Industries. Ooh, pretty good. I don't know if i support that industry though, to be perfectly frank with you guys. the whole arm homemarks I mean, we got to go to the CVS and to i just print it out yourself. Just print it at home on your printer paper. It's the same quality paper. You can find those designs online and it's a DIY home adventure we're just saying i mean think the point of the the greeting card industry is just just like i to say to someone i care about you enough to go to target and spend six dollars wow i think that's what it is now i think the price is like no price is even higher man it's like 13 14.99 for a good quality
Speaker: Joe holiday for one that like pops out and has a guy with a little voice thing 22 once you get sound in there you're in the 20s easily oh yeah pop outs or I mean those are 3d printed now there's there's some really exciting stuff going on in the The greeting card space.
Speaker: and right Yeah, there's like a lot of good jokes about um husbands who clog the toilet. and
Speaker: That's nasty. I still love them. And coffee. And coffee. One time I found a card that my roommate made for his situationship at the time. and It was an extremely disturbing thing to find.
Speaker: He made it out of... The actual card was made out of a garbage bag box. So he cut a cardboard box that held garbage bags and taped it together to be like a greeting card.
Speaker: But it just still had, you could just see it. And then he printed text messages that they sent each other. And then Elmer's glued it, not a glue stick, Elmer's glue to the garbage bag box. So it looked like it was made out of like cum, like stuck together with cum.
Speaker: And the text messages that he printed were them sexting. oh And then they got they got like smudged and nasty from the glue. So it was like a very wet sexual cum object. And I found it on my living room table.
Speaker: God damn. Why was it on the table? Either his possession or the possession of the situation shit. He just left it out. It's not good. I think he wanted you to see It was toxic.
Speaker: Extremely toxic. I avoid that like, I mean, I'm out. I just move out. Yo, know I've done that. Really? A lot of roommates. Yeah. I just know.
Speaker: No. You just out ship. I throw them the bird or you know what that means. And you're literally just out. You give them the middle finger. I'll neither confirm nor deny.
Speaker: Yeah, I do. And then I yeah and then i literally i I'm out. like I have standards. You guys have to have standards on the roommate market. Damn. You know your worth.
Speaker: i don't know if I'm ready to just. Can't just be living with randos. Yeah, there's nothing worse than a rando. Randos. but never live with your friends. This is a hard world, right?
Speaker: i around as a world bizar and I probably haven't like stepped foot in a greeting card section. Yeah. because i'm um usually just I usually just communicate with like words.
Speaker: I'm thinking about that too. I haven't been inside of a greeting card section. Do they have like categories for situationship like they do for grandma's birthday and like Uncle. There's no way they have a situation. shift there's There's definitely a card that is like situationship more like la la la. la la Like it's it's it definitely made its way to that market.
Speaker: Or what if there's a card? It would be kind of cool to upgrade your situationship to a partner. And it says situationship arrow partner question mark. And then you could give like a check inside or whatever. Oh, yeah. yeah Oh, that's cool. little incent little Like I'm saying, Jay, I think you have a natural, you have a background in this. I mean, I'm a salesman.
Speaker: Or I think, or... You're a writer. Oh, yeah. Right. What's the verdict? Is Michael Jackson spiritual or not?
Speaker: I think Michael Jackson is extremely spiritual. I would say so too. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I actually... And I really feel like his death was bizarre and tragic. And I just have to say that he was clearly going through some crazy shit.
Speaker: Yeah, I know. I don't like when people make jokes about Michael Jackson. He had ah he had a few demons. Speaking of demons... Speaking of which, the the next... My jokes were totally not ah about him being in any negative manner. No, they no. It came off as very respectful. Very light. And a lot of people are liking ah a lot of that.
Speaker: It came off as extremely, this guy likes Michael Jackson and he's paying tribute to the GOAT. Okay, Demons. Michael Jackson haunted by Demons. Really good segue into the next one here.
Speaker: In the demons section, we have, if a person can have a guardian angel, can they also have a guardian demon? Really like this switch up on the narrative of the episode so far. Super fun.
Speaker: You know how they say we have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other? Wouldn't be interesting to find out who got assigned to you? If you are rubbed the wrong way by my phrasing of this question, look at it as perhaps watchful demons as opposed to guardian.
Speaker: Also, the idea the entities now termed demons fatedes dates back farther than Christianity. Check it out. Interesting. Perhaps those entities, the ones Christianianity took an altar for their own purposes, could be guardians after all. Until we can empirically prove that demons exist in the first place, I think we should all be a bit more open-minded about not just demons, but all facets of every religion and belief system.
Speaker: Shut up, man. Shut up. That a buzzkill. That was a buzzkill. You blew it You had me and then you just blew it. It's awkward.
Speaker: Do you know how they say we have an angel on one shoulder and devil and Who says that? Nobody says that. Nobody says it. That's just like an old gag from Bugs Bunny. Shakespearean kind of symbol. Nothing wrong with Bugs though. He...
Speaker: he No, Bugs is amazing. That's a spiritual figure. Until we can empirically prove demons even exist in the first place. I hate this person. I hate this person.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess it's like a valid concern that your guardian angel could be a a guardian demon that is catfishing you. This person just needs to chill, yo, just with people like us. you know just like Smoke, yeah.
Speaker: They need to smoke a little Kush and take their mind off all these existential... I mean, if you're seriously considering demons on your shoulder, you might be lost. You think they need Kush?
Speaker: if these if this guy smoked Kush, and they may have a history a family history of psychosis. things render yeah oh my god don't know We you don't know. You might be right. yeah so Maybe just smoke a cigar or just something... you know Hit the beach. Smoke a cigar.
Speaker: Smoke um a marble burrow. ah marlborough Get a back massage. Oh, yeah. Actually, forget the substances. Just go to the masseuse. Just call it a day. Do they let you smoke while you're getting a massage?
Speaker: In some places in China, you can drink and smoke. Yeah. they let me They give me like a straw through that hole in the chair. you know Oh, yeah. It's pretty good.
Speaker: So yeah, they we have there's an arrangement. Hey, hey, whoa. ho Guys, I'm going to say it. Getting a back massage from a friend while you're sitting feels way better than getting a back massage from a professional when you're lying down.
Speaker: That's just been my experience. You guys feel that? I mean, yeah, there's like no intimacy or like any sort of... Community. ranger There's no community. And they're on their Bluetooth.
Speaker: Man, if I was a trucker really high right now, this podcast would be... i mean oh my God. Perfect. if i was on a never Oh, you're pulling into Memphis at three in the morning. You're listening to this. It's it's the rocker fake the perfect headspace, you know? Just vibes.
Speaker: They need this. They're itching for this type of thing. I would love my guardian angel and guardian demon to be massaging my back. Oh. He could be using his little pitchfork to really get in there. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: oh that would feel so good. They both could get down in there. Little hands for those little knots. Are you kidding me? Guardian demons. Put them to work. yeah i'll get I'll take a massage from anything, like even like raindrops, icicles, I'll walk up ramps. Animals are actually not bad at that. They have like um they got a whole other thing going.
Speaker: No, animals are incredible. They're some of my favorite animals. They use the like their tongue to massage it on the back. It's pretty good. oh Yes, I have some animals that lick my back like with their tongue. but it's Honestly, it's like... That's what they They know how to do that.
Speaker: I don't know what you guys are talking about. They have tongues designed to groom backs. It hurts though, dude. Not a lot of people are mentioning it. Some of those tongues have like um almost like grooves. A cat's tongue. They have like a bunch of tiny little swords on them.
Speaker: Cat's tongues are incredible. i mean Talk about fragmental geometry and just proof of God. you know i mean What? what are we doing here on this earth things are incredible i mean that's what we're also up to on earth i mean yeah this thing is involved i would love to like uh trick a lion into thinking i'm like one of its cubs and then it'll just like lick my back with its foot long tongue it'd be like unlikely friendships that could go viral i would love to click like or i don't know engage with that content something
Speaker: Oh, yeah. I like when friends or there are animals that are different species getting along. I don't know. Doesn't happen often. Like a capybara? I don't know. Maybe I'm weird, but there's something about that.
Speaker: Do you know about a capybara? Yeah, I love it. Yeah. apparently the chillest animal of all time. You know what I'm talking about. Hangs out the gators, hangs out with the monkeys, hangs out with the hippopotamuses, hangs out with the parrots, hangs out with the turtles.
Speaker: yeah I think they're just like not very good tasting. That's such an amazing way to just be alive. I taste like shit. Yeah, that's the best defense mechanism of all time.
Speaker: My hair redistributes my poop throughout my entire body, so I taste like shit. And smell like shit. What's up? Yeah, everyone in the animal kingdom likes me because I taste like shit. What's up? I'm Cappy Barra. I'm a really popular guy because my my fucking body tastes like filth.
Speaker: My meat sometimes smells really damn good, like ah like a nice musk. you know My meat tastes like... Some of my friends smell pretty damn good. I'll just say it.
Speaker: Do you guys know anyone who has eaten someone? I bring that up because I know a woman who through hearsay, uh, ate an inch by inch cube of her partner's body.
Speaker: Oh really? An inch by inch cube. How do you make your body into a cube? I don't know. They cut it out. I think, I think they cut an inch by inch cube. Oh no. I don't know where. And she cooked and ate it.
Speaker: And then she separately had a conversation where she was like, hypothetically, what would you do if your friend had sex with a dog? oh And my boss was like, ah what do you mean? And then she explained the situation. It was kind of like, sounds like you walked in on someone you know having sex with a dog.
Speaker: I think I would frown first off. I would not be happy. i would violently frown. i yeah I don't know what else I what i also think could really do besides frown.
Speaker: Yeah, we frown upon that kind of behavior. think I would be possessed. I would immediately throw a frown on my face. And we're actually pretty open-minded guys. Not a lot of people know that. but um So if we're actually feeling something... No, we're not going to do that.
Speaker: No. Question seven. Question seven. Is it my turn? Is this my turn? No, that's you. i hit the I hit the angels, the massage angels.
Speaker: Okay. This is from Witchcraft. The title Unable to Influence Narcissists. I was just wondering if ever if anyone else had issues with spells never working on narcissists.
Speaker: I'm not asking for any spells. I stopped wasting my energy. i have very quick, successful spells. Okay. but never even a slight nudge towards a narcissist.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure i read somewhere that it never works on them. The only reaction I've gotten is sending either extreme love or extreme darkness through meditation.
Speaker: And that was just them saying something felt off. Thanks in advance for anyone's experience with this. That's tough. ah God, that's tough. I'm sorry. Your spells are not working as well as they have in the past. I'm really sorry. Your spells aren't quick and successful anymore.
Speaker: ah I mean, talk about a narcissist. The person writing this, you seem to have been struck by the spell of narcissists yourself. I have very quick, successful spells. ah Yeah, that's something ah kind of toxic to say. you know Yeah.
Speaker: What are you talking about? Unable to influence a narcissist sounds like you're not a powerful way. You access to better spells than everyone else does? Yeah, right. You're you'll find the most most Most witches are idiots. You'll find that actually. Modern day witches. It comes from a sort of a hysteria. ah ah A wandering uterus. well what happens like Why don't they have like a a brain spell that they could cast instead of asking a question on on the witchcraft subreddit?
Speaker: I think witches are kind of cute. A lot ah ah few of them. A few of them are certainly cute. i mean I've seen them the um i don't know like Brooklyn or like um different parts of metropolitan areas. Totally.
Speaker: But the arrogance to think that you're able to just kind of tap into the divine and cast these spells on... Cocky is cool. like I don't know. I'm i'm attracted to confidence. Something about care strong... Yeah, I don't know. It's pagan. even though It's creepy.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that it never works on them. jesus Where'd you read this? What kind of magazines are we reading here? Probably reading fucking Reddit.
Speaker: Yeah. We have a lot. I would date a witch. I would date a witch. Only she could actually really fly. Really fly. I want a talking cat and little hat. Little cool hat. Pointy hat. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, the broom is nice, but I just don't know if it helps with like the crumb. or Is it just a vehicle or it helps with things like the on the floor? I don't really know about that. I think it like ah it can like sweep itself. You know you don't need to hold it.
Speaker: Like in Fantasia, Mickey Mouse style. the The dancing broom, yes. Certainly useful. Yo, Harry Potter. yeah yo harry potter Think about Harry Potter Quidditch at World Disneyland. cool imagine for mario brothers these Super Mario Super Mario Quidditch Land.
Speaker: with Oh my God. i can see us there. i see I didn't know you boys fucked with Harry Potter. yes, dude. We like things. yeah we like the imagination of it all.
Speaker: ah fuck with every everything everything jk's ever written love ja just kidding just kidding more like thank you jay for just kidding we're rolling oh my god really the whole thing is just a setup like completely just the trampoline was there man wow we got to do a comedy show in virginia sometime We got to just fly out to Virginia, you and me. Really?
Speaker: Meet at the club, do the show, sleep at different hotels. Yeah. Just talk about how epic Harry Potter is. Wait, because I like hanging in the... I i mean, I guess we get chill in like the lobby of one of our hotels, though, right?
Speaker: True. Like Twin Peaks. yeah That's experimental. Oh. I mean, the lobbies are often nicer than the actual rooms.
Speaker: I hate those evil rooms. Yeah. We like to stay at Airbnb. Yeah. I mean, the rooms, that's so where people get like murdered and dismembered.
Speaker: No one's been killed in Airbnb yet. It's always a hotel. No, no. There's not a guru, some kind of, oh my God, second feature screenplay idea of the podcast, the Airbnb killer.
Speaker: right I think people know if they killed someone in there, they that would lower their rating. so they't Oh, maybe that's the cynical ending. Is that what it's all about? Oh, no. We can't have a cynical ending.
Speaker: I feel as though it's time for a cynical movie. Really? I don't know. We need to finger wag with satire. I think we need some positivity. i think we should all, you guys and me, let's all go in on Airbnb.
Speaker: tonight and then we'll record another this episode oh the airbnb boys it doesn't do the exact same thing but we could go for it or there should be a podcast where people go to an airbnb at least there should and you could do a brand partnership with airbnb to cover the cost of renting the space smart each video goes immediately viral that's our guarantee i like stuff like that i like that kind of stuff But no, we have to have like ah a really uplifting ending, I think. right okay Okay. I thought it could be a commentary on society, but whatever you want, Pharrell Williams.
Speaker: well's the dog again yeah With your Poptimism and Lego movie grandeur. And the hat that was near your school.
Speaker: What's that? Or a hat that resembled Arby's hat. so The cowboy did. What was the question? Does God exist? um Yeah. but Should we end on that ask philosophy question at the bottom?
Speaker: Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. The humor one. That's a great question. The humor one. think that's you, Mr. Drill. All right, I'll do it. um From Ask Philosophy, title, Is humor inherently evil?
Speaker: ah With the exception of wordplay, from the most evident to the most oblivious of jokes, all of them seem to make us laugh at either others or our suffering. Now, I don't want to be a pessimistic person and say that no matter what we laugh about, we are being evil.
Speaker: And for that, life is shitty and pointless. However, I can't see how we can be ethical and not hurt others or even ourselves through humor. So is humor inherently evil is the question.
Speaker: Wow. With the exception of word play. What are you talking about? I mean, I think wordplay is kind of evil because it kind of like, you know, trickery trickery it makes like it makes light of people with the speech impediments.
Speaker: So is this person saying that like if someone farts and I find that funny, then that's me laughing at them being uncomfortable?
Speaker: I mean, I think it's like, the yeah, the fart is making everyone uncomfortable and it's kind of like poisoning a room. So if you laugh at that, you're laughing at poison and death.
Speaker: but But what's wrong with doing that? If you're laughing at a thing that's... I mean, I think ah it just encourages them to keep farting. you know You're kind of rewarding the farts. You're rewarding the fart behavior. Which is terrible for...
Speaker: You don't want to reward that sort of thing. and All kinds of other macro. and If somebody farts, you need to like tell them like what you did was not okay. Shame. Shame. you shame.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, but i I don't... I'm going to go ahead and say yes. Wordplay is actually the only evil. Well, or one of the few evil forms. with the you know You just don't... it's I didn't expect...
Speaker: that sort of thing. So that's kind of weird, but the rest of it is actually pretty, I like moat i like it actually. I hate this question. I mean, I think this person's been over-therapized. They're overthinking way too much. This is a 16 year old that's smoking cigarettes.
Speaker: Just not even worth answering in two years. They're going to be at a college in California. You should be asking, ask philosophy, is philosophy inherently evil? yeah philosophy is more evil than this philosophy is so fucking evil really gotta you gotta laugh you know I was thinking earlier about how the first few years of your life are kind of solely focused on like getting control over shitting your pants.
Speaker: like Babies just shit their pants. No matter what, it takes like probably three years until you're like, I know what it means to shit my pants and I'm not going to do it. I'm able to not do it. You know what i mean?
Speaker: Yes. There's just something about that. That's the first challenge. That's the first thing that you have to... like understand i had a few other challenges i'm maybe it's just me but well no only had no i don't think what i don't think you did i think that was the first one okay well i experienced struggles certainly what kind of struggles you put your hand on stuff i guess well one of the weird things that i don't know if this is an uplifting ending but like
Speaker: just, you know, a lot of people will mention like nipple, like the color of the nipple versus wo the skin around it can be, i sometimes don't totally feel comfortable. It's the direction of where this podcast is going. Well, is nipple discourse inherently evil?
Speaker: Just sometimes the nipple, the color is certainly the shade is similar. And, uh, When you're young and your eyes are still developing, i don't know. You can't always... Whose nipple? what you Are you talking about breastfeeding? you miss yeah You missed the nipple while breastfeeding because the color wasn't different enough? Is that what you're saying?
Speaker: mean, that's the mom's fault. That is the mom's fault. She's supposed to like know they you know put your mouth on it. Is that what you were saying though, Jay? You had difficulty telling where the nipple was as a child.
Speaker: i Yeah, I guess that is guess i am. Okay. Then you remember that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. Yeah. and That's very sad.
Speaker: shit Thank you. Thank you. I mean, I think yeah that's why the the nipple has been evolved to be different colors is because it's like, it's like, yeah, the baby can find it easier. Right. Yeah.
Speaker: like a flower. I think like one of the smartest things a new mom can do. I don't know how many new mom, well, they're probably a handful. this could be a good good handful good him there's what you can do i don't know i'm not actually sure about this i've never tested this in any way but if you had like a pasty or some or just use a sharpie or some kind of like methodology to kind of distinguish between the skin because there's a big difference in terms of like nutrients that come out of certain areas so i don't know just i i didn't know if
Speaker: I didn't know if that would help. but I think that could help. yeah Using a pen or a marker or thermal stuff. It's like a flower with pollen. you know Different markings. Juicy berry.
Speaker: for the lactators Yeah, there' I see you. I see them. Any last words? I mean, what a pleasure, guys. Great job, all. I agree. Yeah, i think you guys, it was it was really fun just spending time with you guys.
Speaker: It was a pleasure just hanging out, collaborating. Happy 50th episode of the Male Loneliness Project. Happy 50th birthday to everyone in the room right now.
Speaker: Everyone in the chat. 50. Big 5-0. It's
Speaker: morning.
Speaker: I'm still dancer.
