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00:00:01
Bob Harper
120 Plays5 years ago
Bob Harper joins as our very first guest to talk about his experience in the fitness and entertainment industry, nutrition, and connecting to clients in order to serve them and get results.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello. Hello. Hey girl. Ah, there we go. New year. New year.
Introducing Bob Harper and His Fitness Journey
00:00:15
Speaker
We're starting off something, um, new or first. So we have, we have a guest on the, on the podcast. Yes. The guest of friends. Introduce yourself to the mystery guests.
00:00:30
Speaker
Am I the mystery guest? Yeah. Hi everyone, it's Bob Harper here and I am very excited to be here. I feel like I've done your podcast like a thousand times. And I love that Kariana told me that, no, you've actually never done it. And I just feel like we have such a good relationship that every single time that we speak to one another, you know, it's podcast worthy, I guess.
00:00:57
Speaker
Yeah. So now we just have it recorded and sharing it with the world.
Exploring Bob's Fitness Routine and Industry Evolution
00:01:01
Speaker
Um, so we thought it would be interesting cause you know, I think, um, something that's really valuable that maybe people don't know about you is kind of how you got started with, you know, the fitness world. So go ahead. Before we get into this, can I bring up something else? Yes. Uh, so I was doing my workout this morning and
00:01:27
Speaker
I'm doing this thing now where, and I want to get your opinion on this, both of you, because I have this pool in my backyard and it's not a big pool. It's like, you know, my house is from the sixties and it's like, it's a kidney-shaped pool. So it's not very big, but I just, I swim in it now, like every day. So I'm in my pool and I'm just doing my laps before I'm going to be talking to Uncle Bill and Kari on it. And I have my earbuds in.
00:01:56
Speaker
And I listen to, I usually listen to Howard Stern. And so I'm listening to Howard Stern as I'm swimming and my earbuds will tell me if I have a text. And I got a text from you, Karyana, saying, is there anything specific that you want to talk about today? And I just.
00:02:14
Speaker
laughed with myself and I went, is she wanting me to be the producer now? As I'm swimming, I'm like, she's wanting me to be the producer of this today. I was like, no, we're just going to, we're going to find out what we're just going to talk about, have anything and see, see where it leads us. Yeah. And it's always a good shot. So I feel like perhaps that was an unnecessary question. We don't have
Emotional Insights and Career Reflections
00:02:40
Speaker
to do the whole professional guest podcast thing. We just,
00:02:44
Speaker
Literally say, what are we going to talk about? These two things. All right. Let's just, and then it really falls off the rails about five minutes in. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that you guys are great. And I, uh, I really, uh, you did that podcast a while ago, a little while ago, Kariana, I can't remember who it was, but I really, really liked, uh, the guy that did the podcast. And, uh, I really liked you because
00:03:11
Speaker
I called her right afterwards, Uncle Bill, and I said, she was so raw, and you were cursing more than I've ever really heard you curse before, right? Do you agree with that, Kariana? Maybe. I think both of us have a tendency when we're fired up about something or passionate.
00:03:37
Speaker
And maybe it's also just a little bit of anger with the topic or, you know, like that brings that out, you know, or maybe it's just a conviction, like really punctuating what I was saying. And not that it's effective. I guess I wonder about cursing, like, is it really effective? Certainly. I think that it can be effective. I mean, I do when I get passionate about things, but I don't think that you use, you just used the word angry.
00:04:07
Speaker
And I listened to that whole podcast and you were talking obviously about CrossFit and where you guys have kind of evolved, changed, separated. And I think the biggest takeaway was the fact that if we are wherever, whatever profession we are in, in our lives, if I've always said, if I feel like I know everything that there is to know about X, then it's time for me to move on. It's time for me to, um,
00:04:36
Speaker
find something else to do because especially when it comes to health and fitness, it does change all the time and we change all the time. And I found that to be really interesting, especially when you were making the comments of, are you not supposed to ask any questions in relation to CrossFit? Has it already been laid out? Because I mean, as you know, we, the three of us, we met
00:05:05
Speaker
doing CrossFit. I mean, I drank the Kool-Aid, loved it, was all in. And I still have so much respect for that medium of working out because it introduced me to so many different things. And it was at a time where I wanted to really push myself to extremes. And I liked all that. But what I don't like is when someone just says,
00:05:34
Speaker
I know all the answers, this is how it is, and anything new that comes along, I'm just gonna poo-poo it. I can't believe I just used the phrase poo-poo, but when you were talking about the breathing techniques, I'm a naturally very curious person, as the two of you know, I become obsessed with things. I've done every single diet that's out there. I have tried every single workout that there is to
00:06:04
Speaker
to try, I think that it's good for us all to be well-educated, well-read, interested, and curious. Have I just taken over this whole podcast? I didn't mean to. No, this is- No, this is what it's for. It's about good conversation. So obviously, Kay and I know
00:06:30
Speaker
how you got to where you are or what your background's like, but can you just, so that curiosity, what did that, how did that start you off in your career in the fitness industry? Well, my curiosity for fitness was late in late, meaning I didn't really start getting super involved in fitness until God, my early, early twenties, like, you know, 20,
00:06:58
Speaker
I was never a sports-oriented person in school. I grew up on a farm where I was super physical. Talk about constantly varied. I was doing all of that at a very young age.
00:07:20
Speaker
So I was never an overweight kid. I was, you know, I was naturally thin and, you know, only because, you know, we, I never sat around. I was always moving and going, but it wasn't until I moved to Nashville, Tennessee. I was talking about this earlier to someone else, but I, I was living next door to this fitness facility. And I remember just being very curious about,
00:07:45
Speaker
the people because I would always see them you know coming in and out and they're sweaty and
00:07:51
Speaker
I had gone in, I talked to somebody that worked there. They were like, yeah, they were those kind of the quote unquote meathead guys that were like, okay, if you're wanting to really bulk up, I need you. This is a true story. I need you to eat more McDonald's. I need calories, calories. It was just like, you know, you got to feed the beast, feed the beast. And I mean, I think the two of you know me very well and I've never changed. I've never been interested in being like, you know,
00:08:21
Speaker
the big muscle queen, like it's not, that's never been something for me. But I, so that kind of turned me off initially, but it was when I just started getting, I started seeing the group fitness element of what was going on. That really drew me in, like I really enjoyed the fact that I was in a group of people working out together.
00:08:49
Speaker
because I think that's why I liked CrossFit so much. And like other types of workouts where we're a community, where we're a group of people that share like minds and we're all coming here to relieve some stress, to burn
Television Transition and Biggest Loser Experience
00:09:05
Speaker
some calories, to look good in our genes when we go out that night, whatever the motivation was. So I was really drawn to that. And that's when I started working at this facility.
00:09:19
Speaker
I worked the front desk because I just, A, I needed a job and B, I realized if I work there, I'd be able to get all the fitness for free. And I was always looking for ways to, it's not beat the system, but just like play with the system. Maximize it. I understand where the rules start and stop. I just was poor and wanted to work out and I didn't have any money to do it.
00:09:47
Speaker
And I was like, you know, why don't I work here? And so that's, that's kind of where it all, that's where it all kind of started. And then, uh, then I decided that if I was really going to make a career out of fitness, it was going to be in my mind, I needed to move to Los Angeles, California. And that was to date, I am 55 years old. It is, it was the scariest thing I'd ever done.
00:10:17
Speaker
I left a place that I grew up around and, you know, friends, family, you know, I just packed up my car and, and drove cross country. And I am not kidding you. I cried from, I think from Tennessee to Oklahoma, uh, you know, on that, on that freeway that the whole time in every exit, I was just like, turn back. What are you doing? Turn back. And when I finally get this,
00:10:47
Speaker
which I think you will appreciate. When I finally made it to Los Angeles, I had made these VCR tapes of me doing fitness. And I sent them, I found like, you know, there were these really popular fitness studios. One in particular was called Voigt Fitness. And it was the shit back then. And I wanted a job there and they wouldn't even give me an interview.
00:11:16
Speaker
They were like, you know, some country boy from, uh, from Tennessee coming into work here where it was just like all these celebrities. But I, when I drove in that night to Los Angeles, it had to have been, I mean, you know, I don't know, five o'clock in the afternoon, only because I found this fleabag hotel that I, that I stayed in. And the first thing I did was just like unpack my car.
00:11:45
Speaker
and I went to one of those fitness places and I took a class. And it was like literally the night that I arrived in West Hollywood, Los Angeles, and went in and I talked to the owners. And again, it was one of those like, I can work the front desk because it was one of these jobs where, and I really believe that this helped me a lot with my career, with my kind of quote unquote, go get them attitude. I,
00:12:15
Speaker
They gave me a job. They were like, okay, we're gonna give you a time slot. And I got a time slot because you got paid by how many people would come to your class. So if no one came to your class, there was no skin off their nose or whatever. And I remember, for the first part of my working at this place, I mean, I was lucky to get,
00:12:43
Speaker
two, maybe two people. And I think that I was getting $2 a head. So I was like $4, but then they let me work the front desk. And so I have always been this way too. I'm a talker, as you can tell, and they gave me a job at that front desk and I was up there and I was just talking to everyone in my big Southern accent, just like come to my class. And it wasn't until the most popular teacher in this gym, the gym was called Martin Henry fitness studio. They, uh,
00:13:13
Speaker
The most popular teacher name was Kathy Kaler and Kathy was going out of town and she was just like, do you want to do you want to sub my classes? Because no one would do it. Like all the other teachers were like, no, her people are crazy. And I was like, I'll do it. I was like, I'll do it. I don't care. And I went in and I was, it was so scary because those people were mean, but they ended up liking me and I, I ended up becoming,
00:13:42
Speaker
the most popular person at that studio. And that's when the coveted Voigt Fitness reached out to me and they were like, we need you to come in for an interview. And I ended up leaving the place that gave me the initial job. And the guy was like, he was so cool about it. And he was like, listen, I get it. You're trying to build your career. And like, there's a point where you have to be
00:14:11
Speaker
I don't know if it's selfish, if it's driven. I don't know what word that I would use, but, you know, I knew that I wanted a lot. I wanted to, I love fitness. I loved teaching these classes. And not only did I teach like, you know, I think I was teaching, got to wear maybe 18 classes a week. And, you know, that's a lot. And it wasn't like, you know, a coach type thing where you're standing around. I was, I was doing it.
00:14:41
Speaker
I was living my best life and doing it. And so that's kind of, I became kind of a household name in Los Angeles because people really liked my classes. They got to where they were just like, going to a Bob Harper class was like trying to get into Studio 54 in the 70s because I mean, people were nuts. They had their spots that they had to be in. They wanted to, you know,
00:15:11
Speaker
make sure that they were in every single one of my classes. And you'll also appreciate this because I know how knowledgeable the two of you are. I broke all the rules. When I was teaching these group classes, I broke every single rule. I was like, fuck it. I'm going to do it the way that I'm going to do it. And the teachers hated me. They were just like, they were just like,
00:15:35
Speaker
He's, it's dangerous what he's doing. He's in there and it's crazy. And the music splat. I mean, it was a club. And I was just like, I don't have time for you. Like I never had time for what other people thought. Like, I think that was like the biggest thing. I was just like, I get it. You know, you're, you're, I don't know if you're jealous or you're just like, are you just, you hate that I'm a person that bucks the system. I'm going to, I'm going to break the rules and, and I'm fine with breaking those rules because
00:16:08
Speaker
It is funny that era is like gone really. I mean, sure there's like SoulCycle instructors and they build their persona, but that group fitness like era of the top instructors and you know, I would go to those conferences and yeah, I mean the people will be waiting outside for hours so that they got the front row of that guy's step class and the double step. And I mean, it was really,
00:16:30
Speaker
It just, it made it fun.
00:16:35
Speaker
There was no social media. I mean, they were building their reputation and their platform there with the class. That's all they had. Do you remember there was the major convention for group fitness was the IDEA convention? I think if I can remember what those letters stood for, International Dance Exercise Association. I think it's something like that.
00:17:04
Speaker
But it was, it was the holy grail. Like, you know, it was like these people. And I mean, I tried so hard not, they didn't, they wouldn't give me a squirt of piss. Yeah. They were just like, no, you're crazy. You don't like, they had a cookie cutter way of things. They're like, and by the way, and I'm, I hope that I'm getting this correct, but, uh, right before COVID.
00:17:31
Speaker
the idea convention reached out to me because they were, they wanted to give me a kind of a lifetime achievement award, which I was absolute. I was absolutely going to go to that. Like I've never been a person like people are always like, uh, cause I was totally bullied in high school and people were like, don't you, did you ever go back to your high school graduation, uh, your, your class reunions and like, you know, show them that you made them like, no, like I don't have that in me. I don't need, I mean, you two know me really well. I'm not a,
00:18:00
Speaker
I'm not going to rub your face in anything, but I was going to that idea convention. I was going, I was going to get that award and I was going to say something like, you know, you know, I tried really hard to come to, uh, to be a part of these conventions and you guys never would let me. So like with, with fitness for you, what do you, what would you say drove you, like, what was it about fitness that you connected with? I think the, I think the biggest thing,
00:18:30
Speaker
And it wasn't until I really got so involved in Loser because it was such a different group of people that I was working with.
Coaching Philosophy: Connection and Authenticity
00:18:42
Speaker
It was the passion that I had for health and fitness got magnified when I started working with the quote unquote every day man and woman that
00:18:57
Speaker
were a lot of times and not to be dramatic at death's door. And I was able to kind of guide them, help them, motivate them. And I was really drawn to that. And it became, my passion for health and fitness became even more, I needed to do it, right? It wasn't something that was like, oh, this is fun.
00:19:25
Speaker
I think when you find out what your calling is and what you really want to do with your life, it was a driving force. It was the beacon of light that I just kept going toward because when I got loser, which was so hard, it was like the hardest audition process that I'd ever gone through. When I finally got that job, like I gave up,
00:19:53
Speaker
I gave up my career of being a personal trainer in group fitness where I was actually making more money doing that than going on to television. I moved out of my apartment and I lived with some old friends of mine that had their daughter had gone to college and their house was right like a mile or two from the facility where Loser first started shooting.
00:20:23
Speaker
And here I am living in this, you know, this very girly bedroom for many months because it was their daughter and she was a very girly girl. And that was my life. I never saw anyone. My job was for me, even when I wasn't shooting, was seven days a week. I had no time for friends, relationships, anything else.
00:20:52
Speaker
You know, I lost a lot of friends during that time because they were just like, you've got to find a way to juggle these lives. And I was like, there's no juggling right now. I can't juggle. And I had to put all of my chips were on black. And that's how I had to live. And it just goes back to how I've always been. I'm just like, I'm a very focused individual when it comes to those
00:21:20
Speaker
those type of things, which is really annoying. Yeah, well, for who? It's annoying to a lot of people. But it sounds like that's just part of who you are. We talk a lot about, obviously, developing the who and connecting with the essence of who you are. That's been something that's been consistent throughout your career, leaving Tennessee.
00:21:50
Speaker
literally driving into the unknown with through and with your emotions to get to a point where you're stepping out into that and not having any idea and then kind of going against the grain as far as what the what the norms are there's that curiosity there's that i don't know if if you you know blast the music and you do a different not play by the book
00:22:14
Speaker
So there's that kind of element. And then obviously leaving that comfort of what you had as personal trainer and group fitness instructor into another complete, a deeper pool, jumping into a deeper pool. I mean, that's just, that is part of who you are. And I think what's important
00:22:35
Speaker
or one of the reasons why I appreciate having you on and obviously you as a friend is that there is that drive because of who you are and that was how you serve people and how you seek to provide change. It wasn't like I'm gonna go there to be whatever, let's just say fast forward.
00:22:57
Speaker
couple decades and and now it's like well of course it's bob it's you know celebrity on the biggest loser is taking that show it's like no it was it was for the human element and allowing that to be the driving force which directly puts you into you know the the necessary kind of challenges to learn and grow evolve adapt and kind of continue
00:23:24
Speaker
to serve how you wanna serve and reaching as many as you can. Yeah, I totally agree with you. I tell people all the time that say, I look at your career and I've seen what you've done and you've been able to do all these type of things. How do you do it? And I think the biggest piece of advice that I give to everyone, it's like, you gotta be all in. You gotta be all in for yourself because
00:23:54
Speaker
that's where it comes down to. It was about having my back. It was about having my self-respect when I wasn't necessarily getting it from outside sources and also realizing that it wasn't outside sources that were going to fulfill me. It had to come from within. And I think that that's just how I,
00:24:23
Speaker
have chosen to look at things in my own career and in my own life. So now fast forward undisclosed number of years. Um, where do you find yourself? What's your fitness kind of, what's your, let's just say past 10 years fitness experience journey kind of been like past 10 years. Well, uh, I think that for the longest,
00:24:53
Speaker
part of those 10 years? Well, I guess now it's been half of that. God, it's been three and a half years, almost four. Six of those years plus was very CrossFit oriented. It was day in, day out, going to a brick in Los Angeles and
00:25:19
Speaker
I mean, I became so obsessed with CrossFit. You have to, Karyani, you know this because you were part of it. Like I brought CrossFit onto Loser and it was such a big deal because it was still new to the masses. And like my producers didn't even really understand it. And so we shot this whole episode, like talking about Fran and we had,
00:25:48
Speaker
rich phroning on their Jason Calipa and Camille LeBlanc-Bosine. We had all the girls, all the guys in there were all together doing this. And my producers, they loved it because they thought it was crazy and so intense. But it wasn't until it aired that
00:26:17
Speaker
one of our big sponsors, which I guess maybe I should just go unnamed, they lost their minds. They were like, what the fuck? And because it was just like, you know, it was a free advertising for this. So to answer your question, these past years,
00:26:45
Speaker
It's been CrossFit. It's been going, going to brick. It's been kicking my ass all over the place every single day. Like I did, I never adhered to the three days on one day off or, you know, sometimes they would say maybe it was a five and two. Uh, sometimes, is that right? Was it like either three, one, somebody did five too. So like I was, I was a seven dayer like, and, and again, like in your podcast,
00:27:13
Speaker
that you were talking, Karyana, that I really, so many parts resonated with me. But like one thing when you were talking about, you were at a level one seminar and it was like everyone getting up after lunch and just being like, oh, I'm so sore. Like I lived every day being sore. And it was just like, I don't know if it was in my mind a badge of honor. I was like, oh, look how hard I work because
00:27:43
Speaker
I can't get out of the fucking chair without, you know, being in pain. And like, you know, like this is, this is good shit. And it goes for my obsessive mentality of just like, I want to go hard. And like, that's why I love CrossFit for so long, uh, is because I just wanted to, I wanted to kick my ass. And also when I started doing in the beginning, I, um, I,
00:28:13
Speaker
I was terrible at it. Like, like I, I saw what everyone was doing. I was like, I was terrible. And I didn't care. Like I, I just loved it that much. And just, I know that I'm going to go in there and I'm going to get my ass handed to me and you know, pull ups were, pull ups were really hard for me. And, uh, you know, all, all the, the squatting, like I'd never done anything like that before. And, um, you know, it was just, it was, it was love at first sight, but then, um,
Personal Challenges and Evolving Fitness Approaches
00:28:42
Speaker
It's changed. It's changed a lot for me. I think that with my heart attack, you know, I had a heart attack in the gym and I think that all of a sudden you were just making a comment, Uncle Bill, about X amount of years later. You know, it's been a, it's been a lot of years and I'm at a place now where I do like to work out. I work out again still every day practically, but I'm doing it at such a,
00:29:13
Speaker
Uh, what's the word I want? I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's sane or if it's quiet or if it's gentle. If it's one of those words, I still go longer time domains. Uh, but it's, I just don't beat my body up the way that I used to. And what's really crazy is that I don't, I can get up and not be, you know, make the noises. So.
00:29:42
Speaker
And I do my hot yoga still. I do my hot yoga. I wear my hot suit. Do you guys think I'm crazy that I like to sweat as much as I do, Uncle Bill? Bob, I don't think, I think the normal, I think someone who's quote unquote normal is fucking crazy. That's what I think.
00:30:04
Speaker
because uncle bill people bob about this i mean the stuff we do isn't exactly in the mainstream sometimes either and i think you know i mean we both bring suits where we'll put on scuba like they're scuba gear so i'm not and let me tell you they don't pay me a penny i'm not kidding you you really should look at hot suit i wear the hot suit and it is i i mean i wore it before i got in the pool today i did 30 minutes on the bike and i'm not kidding you
00:30:34
Speaker
I take it off and a flood of water comes out of me. I've seen your videos. I do, but I sweat like that all the time. I love it. I think, and again, I have no science to back this up, but I think the way that I sweat, it's the fountain of youth. It's the fountain of youth for me. Like my body feels great. I'm knocking on wood right now.
00:31:04
Speaker
I just, I really like I afterwards mentally, I think it's more of a mental thing. Like I sweat like that. And I, I'm just, I feel happier. I feel, I feel better. And Anthony is just like, if I'm in a real bitchy mood, he's like, bitch, you have got to, you got to go sweat. You got to sweat because you're kind of unbearable right now. I'm like, I get it.
00:31:29
Speaker
Well, speaking of that, the mental part, obviously on here we talk quite a bit about mental and emotional fitness in addition to physical fitness, but they're not, it's a synergy. It's like the Olympic rings really, and how they're kind of interlaid. So the one thing I think it's interesting or would like to talk about too is fitness,
00:31:54
Speaker
Well, one, fitness is like, what actually does fitness mean? And this is something that I work with clients on like in a more of an educational standpoint, but
00:32:06
Speaker
We think about fitness and we go right to the sport element, but fitness obviously has been around longer than working out has from an evolutionary standpoint. One of the ways I think about fitness is that it's something for a specific intent and it's a supporting element for a specific intent.
00:32:30
Speaker
You know, of course you can say, okay, intent matters, intent is everything, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, that's just fucking, you know, cookie cutter, what's it called? Fortune cookie advice. But when we think about how that applies to our pursuits and our intents, yeah, of course there's the physical fitness. And so that could be the intent of not wanting to get out of a chair, like you're decrepit and feeling like shit. But for the mental standpoint, I think that's the part that
00:33:00
Speaker
is an interesting thing to look at, like the mental fitness, the specific intent of recognizing how our thoughts influence our actions.
00:33:09
Speaker
The intent when you are on, and for Loser, that's something that I think has to be put into context as well. And when people might view the show or the approaches or whatever, and this goes for anyone, from obviously Loser to CrossFit to youth training camps, the different approaches, what is the purpose? What is the point? What is the intent?
00:33:38
Speaker
And I think that's one of the things in CrossFit that we don't actually, that's not actually really defined. Yeah, sure, across life, this and that, but then you start to just pull on easy, easy little low-hanging fruit and you're kind of left with like a scratch in your head moment of like, this can improve. And so I guess long-winded, what I'm trying to ask or say is,
00:34:02
Speaker
the mental health part or the mindset coaching, whatever it is part, can you speak to how that changes perhaps or is different from the specific intent and context of loser to perhaps your own personal fitness now? Well, I think that when it comes to addressing fitness on loser, my objective from
00:34:30
Speaker
early on was to kind of give them a starting point. And it was extreme. When you work in television, it is naturally an extreme arena that you have been put in.
00:34:46
Speaker
you have to make everything bigger. Like I used to tell people that would come up to me and go, those workouts are so fucking crazy. Like what are you doing? I'm like, what you're seeing on television is just like the theatrics of it all. Like it's the off camera days where we are like mid low level workouts that are just like consistent and going, but that's boring and you can't do that. And so that's how you would get those
00:35:15
Speaker
real results. But the starting point is to show someone, it's kind of like, this is your rock bottom. This is where you are physically right now, mentally, emotionally. When you talk about fitness, it is not about whatever workout is you're doing, in my opinion. Fitness is how you manage your stress.
00:35:38
Speaker
your sleep levels, your fitness, your nutrition, it's everything that's been kind of put together, all those pillars that create the overall health and wellness of someone. You can't just focus on one of those things. And so that's what I would always try to address with every single person that I ever worked with before loser, during loser, and after loser. It's like, you have to look at
00:36:04
Speaker
Yes, you have these goals that you want and all those goals are great and they can be really motivational. But for me, fitness is about being fit in all those other ways and feeling good about yourself, feeling good about like, what can you do to make yourself feel good today? And for me, it's when I do choose to eat better, it's when I do
00:36:31
Speaker
get those hours of sleep, which my hours of sleep have been really fucked up lately, which is really pissing me off. But, um, but also with, with your fitness levels and not get so married to one approach because there are many approaches and you know, people come to me all the time and they go, what do you think about this diet? What do you think about this workout? And I'm just like, if you're moving around,
00:36:57
Speaker
and you're naturally eating more whole foods that are less processed, you know, we're going to be on the same page. We can, we can like figure all the other, all the other things out. But like if you have just decided that it is this way and it's no other way and like those quote unquote fitness health gurus that are out there going with all my many years of expertise. And this is, I know the way I'm like this bitch, calm down because
00:37:28
Speaker
Like it's not about that. It's about like, let me look at that. Like tell me what you're doing. Like I look at fit, beautiful bodied people like you two all the time. And I go like, what are you doing?
00:37:42
Speaker
What are you eating? Yeah, and tell me the truth and don't give me bullshit. What's funny about that is, and I think I am much more vulnerable with this than Bill, or maybe attached to it, maybe not vulnerable is the word, but it is a constant ebb and flow. None of us are either static, like you're aging, your body's different. I mean, that's on a daily, weekly, monthly, year to year.
00:38:08
Speaker
I think industry tries to sell everybody on, find this one thing and then that's it and you're going to hang on to it. And for me personally, and I think everybody's different.
00:38:19
Speaker
my body like reacts great right away when something's new, which is kind of funny. Like that's what we're saying. Like always be curious, trying new things. And I know that, but then I grab onto it. I'm like, this is it. I found the, I found the thing that's going to work. Like there's this part of me and then eventually it sort of starts to wear off a little bit and it's time to try something new. But instead of trying something new, I have that tendency to kind of
00:38:43
Speaker
go back to it works i think that's probably a little bit of the dysfunction of the fitness industry like being
00:38:51
Speaker
kind of wrapped into those absolutes and, and obviously CrossFit, that's one of our issues with it is like, how can anything be stagnant? And for anybody, you know, there might be times where that works for you or, but there's always a chance to reassess and say like, Hey, how's this working for me today? And that's, you know, one of the major things we try, we're trying, I feel like we're sort of in that same boat as you of like, we're
00:39:18
Speaker
shaking things up and initially people, it's not what they're used to. It's not what they, um, but you know, like how does that work? I want to be told this. You said, uh, yes, you do. You like that. You're like me in that way. Like, you know, rules. Yeah. I like rules. I like that. Like I like order, especially when it comes to, uh, nutrition, fitness, which was, I'm going to go back to something, uh, in a minute, but, um,
00:39:46
Speaker
You said a word though that resonates in my head, dysfunctional. Dysfunctional. I embrace my dysfunction and I think that fitness is dysfunctional. I think that it is volatile. I think that it is extreme at times. And I think that's what we all love about it, right? We all, we love it and we try to figure it out. We try to like do the ebbs and flows of it all.
00:40:16
Speaker
and realize, you know what? When you start to try to make sense of something that does change around all the time, it can make you crazy. And that's why you just go, okay, let's explore. Let's be curious. Let's see what somebody has to say and not shut our minds off. I think we live in a world now that people, we all have our own ideas and
00:40:44
Speaker
And it's not going to change, like people won't change their minds. Like, and that's what drives me crazy. Like, you know, with, with, with where our politics are, it's like, you know, everyone is just like, so like waiting for the other person to shut up so they can say what they want to say. And that's why I'm like, I'm done with all that. Like I'm done with being so rigid and, and just being like, I want to hear your opinion.
00:41:11
Speaker
Let me hear what you have to say and then hear what I have to say and be open to changing your mind. What a crazy thing, right? So Bill did, so the guy that I went on the podcast, his name's Casey Parlap and it's- I really liked him. Yeah, it's funny because I don't think I knew what he was doing until recently and I feel like we have very similar
00:41:38
Speaker
His thing is called stick stick to the program, but Bill went on last week after I went on with him. And one of the things they were talking about was just that and your comment, which I think is such a great
00:41:52
Speaker
thing for everybody is like not listening for the holes in what someone else is saying like like I'm just listening for the arguments that I can make to punch holes in what you're saying so that when you stop talking I can just you know attack that and that was that is one of the things that we feel like that was the irrelevant of who Jillian Michaels you know that was just one of the sad for me disappointments and
00:42:18
Speaker
sad moments of like CrossFit in general is just there's no growth. There's no, there is no discussion. I've tried to have discussions with people who have been in that space for a long time and curious and say, what do we think about this? And it's just like, no, no. And that's just, that's so boring. It's uninteresting. It's so boring. And if we're serving people, it just feels wrong. You know, so, um, so yeah, I mean, just, yeah,
00:42:48
Speaker
I think that health and fitness, diet, exercise, however you want to approach it, however you want to say it, I think that we work in a profession that does change and you can't stand there on your soapbox and say that you know all the answers and you have the keys to the kingdom. It's like, no.
00:43:17
Speaker
You have your opinion, and yes, you have been in the industry for X amount of time, and I do want to hear what you have to say, but you're not the be all, end all, no matter what it is, no matter what diet it is, what influencer, whatever. No, it's just it's not going to, it does not ring truth to me. Yeah. You said you were going to...
00:43:44
Speaker
Yeah, I wanted to go back because, you know, going back to what you were talking about, because I know this is one thing that you and I don't agree on, Cariana.
Food, Mental Health, and Community Growth
00:43:54
Speaker
And whenever we bring up like the measuring of food, you do, you too do not like the measuring of food. And I get it. I get where you come from. I know you, I know you're not issues, but I know where you come from. And I think that like, again,
00:44:13
Speaker
tell me what to do and I'm going to do it. And like, you're going to, you know, you being you in general, you're going to follow those rules and you're going to, you're going to do it. I have worked with so many overweight people for, for such a long time where they don't know what a real portion size looks like. And I have always said this and I will, this is like my, my thoughts have, uh, have changed and have evolved. But one thing that has stayed so true to me is this,
00:44:41
Speaker
or not true, but constant, is the number one best diet exercise piece of equipment is a food scale. The food scale to me is something that I have worked with for so long for so many people because what it does is it gets a person that doesn't know what a portion size of protein should be
00:45:10
Speaker
to actually see what it looks like because, you know, they don't, like everything's been so supersized in their mind where all of a sudden you're like, okay, I need you to do this. And then it's that period of time where it's like, oh, okay, well that's what six to eight ounces of protein looks like now. Because if you're going from eating 24 plus ounces of something, it's a big difference. So that food scale is,
00:45:40
Speaker
is really, really important. And I don't disagree. I think one of the times we did have this discussion, I really always remember one of the things you said, and that was we were talking about someone that had lost a lot of weight, has been successful in maintaining this new lifestyle. Like they really have to change who they were. But I asked you about them with regard to like, well, they, you know, what's your opinion on them?
00:46:06
Speaker
always measuring their food. And you said basically your experience with someone who, whether they're like a food addict or if that's, if we're saying it's an addiction, always, they're always going to be battling that. Like there's not a point where they kind of become intuitive with their eating. And so I think back to kind of what Phil was saying with the intent is it depends on the person for sure. So I think there's absolutely a place, yes, for people to understand, like you can't,
00:46:37
Speaker
It's hard to just skipping to like, oh, just eat intuitively. What the hell? That's almost impossible for you. My issue. You know what that is? When I hear that, sorry to interrupt. That's your fortune cookie advice. Eat intuitively. That works for a very small group of people. When you're dealing with overweight people, and I say this,
00:47:05
Speaker
Losing the weight is one part of it, keeping it off is another, because you're gonna have to be dealing with this for the rest of your life. And that's the cold hard facts, in my opinion. It's never gonna come easy. You're gonna find ways, the ebbs and flows of it all. But I think that when you're dealing with weight issues, it's a real, real slippery slope to putting all that weight back on. Yeah, so just to finish with,
00:47:35
Speaker
you know, that initial thought, I do think though there's a I think there's extremes, there's the extremes of people who, and whether we're saying now there's a genetic, you know, number of people like it's happening at the genetic level that people are becoming addicted to food, and that that's a group of people that are going to always have to measure and weigh their food. And it's, it's no different than
00:47:59
Speaker
someone with an eating disorder who has battled anorexia. They're always taking that food out and they're going to have to deal with it. It doesn't ever go away. You don't just, you don't just get better. But yeah, the other, and then the other extreme being people who sure, like they never think about food. It's just intuitive. Like, what do you mean? I don't understand. But I do think there's a big group of people who unfortunately, my issue with the counting is it's kind of, it's a dead end and it's always,
00:48:29
Speaker
it's always a little bit of a band-aid and they're always battling with it. And then they're trying to kind of heal, but they can't. And then they go back to the band-aid and it's this back and forth that ironically, like from the mental health side, I don't, I think it's, I think it's a problem. So it comes out that losing weight, like, yeah, I was my leanest, thinnest, smallest on the macros. And I look at those pictures thinking like, I was miserable.
00:48:59
Speaker
Right. So it's not the question. It's kind of connecting to like putting the pieces together with like food and to Bill's point, like who the who and who you really are. Yeah. And I, and again, I'm talking like you are in a very small, um, uh, pool of people like, you know, cause you,
00:49:24
Speaker
Even when you think you're heavy or whatever, I mean, you're beautiful. Like you are, you are fit. You are strong. I know what your body is capable of knowing you for as many years as I know you. Like I'm looking at a completely different pool of people that you have to struggle, have to focus, have to think, and they get tired and they get bored and, and they get lazy from it all. And like, you know, cause people are always saying, Oh,
00:49:52
Speaker
People that lose all that weight on loser, so many of them have gained it back. I'm like, look at every single diet that's out there. Don't just put a highlight on one. Look at every single Atkins, keto, whole 30, whatever. Look at the success in the masses. It's not the diets that fail. It's the people that get tired of having to think about this all the time, because it's hard.
00:50:22
Speaker
Kariana, even if you and I are not on a podcast together, we've known each other for a very long time. We talk about food. We're obsessed with it. Don't you agree? I would say that you and I both have a disorder. Like Bill, the times he's had the most food issues. I have a disorder. What? Me? Like I said, normal people are fucking crazy now. But for ironically, the times that Bill's had most
00:50:51
Speaker
issues with food is when he's tried the macros or tried like a very strict thing, and it kind of creates this psychotic obsession with food. And that's, I think, the very careful line of just finding a disconnect from it. People end up treating their food like it's this... I don't know. I don't know how to quite articulate it, but where are you going to say this?
00:51:17
Speaker
Yeah, I was just going to say, again, I think that you have to look at the intent and the context. And even from how our brain works, context matters so much more than we want to maybe give it credit for. And with context is also a lack of control in many ways.
00:51:40
Speaker
I think that the food scale thing, I know when you guys are talking about that, I was thinking like, all right, there's some, let's just say, because obviously coming from special operations or whatever, and let's just say I were to do primarily with that.
00:51:54
Speaker
You got to be fucking kidding me. People are not going to bring a scale out like they're not. But that's not for you, Uncle Bill. That's not like. That's my point. But my point is like, again, and this is where and we were, you know, we're passionate about coaching. We're very good at coaching. We all the three of us coach in different ways and and.
00:52:12
Speaker
At the end of it though, any coach has to connect to the individual that they're looking at. They have to know them first. The approaches, the strategies, the workouts, none of that shit really matters. The ultimate trump card, the foundation of the base is going to be that connection, that rapport, that understanding, that empathy with that human being. And for the people, like for me,
00:52:39
Speaker
to, you know, let's just say who I'm working with or any of us really, like you have to suspend what you think is good for you, what you think is maybe, you know, like how you're experiencing it and get to connect and know that individual. And that requires way more work than just being like, here, you know, do X, Y and Z. And I think that's the part with,
00:53:07
Speaker
fitness, coaching, profession, whatever, serving people that it's not about you. And from a leadership standpoint, too, and this was a major thing I would talk about with a buddy of mine, Boston, while we were deployed, it was like, you can't lead people the way you wanna be led.
00:53:28
Speaker
Cause then you're just leading a bunch of use and the chances are there's a lot of, there's a lot more variance to people who don't respond to it. You, it's like, Bob, like this is what we're fucking doing. You're doing this, you're doing that. Go, go, go. That's how you need to be led perhaps and challenging, expand your comfort zone and be like, Hey, let's do an experiment. Crazy wild ass experiment where you're, there's going to be none of that. See how you respond, see what you learn and then go through it versus other people who you need to kind of be like, okay, arm around,
00:53:58
Speaker
You did a great job. You're not a terrible person. Because the thing is, too, is you don't know, you really don't know what that person's situation is, what that person's childhood is like, what that person's story and background and what they're coming to. They might have never had someone who
00:54:15
Speaker
told them they did a good job at anything. And you as a leader, and it's not manipulating, it's connecting and leading and understanding where's the weakness, not, I'm gonna exploit it, but I'm gonna build it up. And that's your fucking job. It's like building strengths, telling people who are really strong to do things that they already wanna do, already good at doing, you don't earn your money that way. That's right. Your job is to be like, how can I partner with this person, build up their weakness?
00:54:43
Speaker
But I know that's masturbation, which I'm fine with too. But that's what it is when you're dealing with someone like me that you're just like, you're great. It's like, I know all those things, but it's really great to hear. So I totally hear what you're saying. And I think that when it comes to the two of you, the two of you have such good, you have a good bedside manner. Like I have worked with both of you. I remember,
00:55:13
Speaker
I remember the first time meeting, really meeting Karyana. I was doing a, um, Oh God, do you know what it was? Yeah. But I, I'm talking about like, you know, seeing your bedside manner, seeing your coaching skills. We were in Washington DC and it was fucking hot and we were having to do some crazy wad for a CrossFit event. And I was just like,
00:55:41
Speaker
I didn't want to do it because I knew that I was going to have all these eyes on me. Everyone's wanted to see, you know, Bob Harper do, do this thing. Uh, and Cariana was like this, I'm going to go with you. And at first I was like, no, I don't want this, like this, this woman, this wonder woman, like, I just don't, I don't want to be, yeah, I don't want any of this. And you were so good because it was hot.
00:56:07
Speaker
It was the middle of the day, there was no water, the sun, and you know how I hate the sun? You were just, and I'm in black, like, you know, it was like, it was all bad. And like, but you were so there and like, like, I just think that anyone that gets a chance to work with the two of you in any way, shape or form are really lucky because you do approach the individual. You do know how to kind of,
00:56:37
Speaker
change and pivot. I'm real good at changing and pivoting. When I'm working with someone, I'm like, what do you need? Do you need that parental approach? Do you need a maternal approach? What it is? Do you need that ball buster? Because I can wear all those hats, but at the end of the day, it comes from, I really care about you. When I'm working with someone, I really care about you, so let's figure out,
00:57:07
Speaker
the what you need to get us to that that other point. I think that you the two of you have that also. I do have to say I so I watched loser before I knew you obviously and I really you know what I think was interesting when I got to know you was and thinking back on some of those scenes where you're working with people like that really
00:57:30
Speaker
is authentic, like I really it was authentic and I think people who don't maybe know you or of course it's tv so you can think like that person's just really wow they're a great actor like there's no real acting I mean that was um you know and I thought those were like really powerful that was my favorite part of the show when you you know connected with people and really it was a caring relationship
00:57:54
Speaker
to see what that person needed. And sure, a lot of them are in the same general kind of experience. But yeah, being authentic, I think people can tell when there's a fake element and sort of also that approach that, and you know, that's one of my issues last, I was saying it, I think on the, maybe it was on the podcast or whatever, but
00:58:18
Speaker
I just got, I got so discouraged. I called Bill one night at a dinner just with some CrossFit people because it was so disappointing to feel like, like, as we've said, there was no, it's just my way or the highway and there's no authenticity and nobody wants to hear, even from a personal approach, you know, really like with some of the people in the CrossFit space, like some of the challenges people are having. It's also, it's all become just sort of,
00:58:48
Speaker
like a big, I don't know, like money grab or spot marketing thing or, you know, I just, it's sort of a little bit fake in many ways because if we really care and surely there's another, you know, I talked to someone today, uh, just,
00:59:04
Speaker
who I'd never met before. We got, of course, talking that, you know, we own gyms and she had had her an injury and struggling to get back. And I said, I would never tell you to go to our CrossFit gym because it's just, it's not, it wouldn't be a success for her. Now there's other people that would be a great fit for that. But if we're saying we really care about the individual, part of that authenticity is back to what you're saying about not being so attached to, maybe it is the food scale, maybe it is,
00:59:32
Speaker
you know, a step class, you know, maybe it's going in your pool and swimming and not getting your hair wet, you know, like wood. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I totally agree. And I, you know, you mentioned something earlier, which I want to kind of go back to because it's still kind of ringing in my head. You're talking about like food addicts talking about, and,
01:00:00
Speaker
My approach has always been when I talk to the person, it's like, I'm addicted to sugar. I just love my cookies. Whatever that is, cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies. But it's like, my first question to them is, when is it that you're looking for those cookies? A lot of times it could be like the come home from work,
01:00:27
Speaker
long day, I'm in front of the TV, it's like that mindless, it's like, that's, that's when I find something like that, I find that it's more of a habit, your, your habit is your addiction, more so than the food a lot of times and like having to look at what the habit is, when those trigger foods come in, and then changing that habit, because I really do believe that the only way that you can change
01:00:57
Speaker
any kind of quote unquote addiction is by finding where the habit is and then changing that habit. Like it works more times than not. Yeah I think it's also identifying to your point like well yes a lot of people will have a drink after a hard day because it's a way to relax. It's kind of like it is a numbing agent. There's sugar when you're feeling anxious. It is sort of this
01:01:26
Speaker
you know, an emotional fix. So the reality is, to your point, changing the habit, well, it's also changing, like, if I hate my job, right, I'm stressed out all the time, and then I'm drinking to, I mean, that's kind of a basic thing, like, well, but, you know, what's doing this? And it's fine to decide, like, you want to have that drink or whatever, but having some awareness to not just having to be reactive, I guess. Exactly. And being more proactive, right? Like realizing, all right,
01:01:56
Speaker
This is a choice that I'm making as opposed to just being on autopilot. Yeah. Because autopilot is a motherfucker. Autopilot will get you into trouble. Yeah. And I think that's where when you're in, when you're on autopilot, you're not, you're not actually present. Like you're not, you're just, you're not present.
01:02:23
Speaker
Not to say you're not intentional, but you're not. And so those defaults kind of take in. And that's where the deeper kind of work that I've been doing, it's like,
01:02:37
Speaker
not to reduce it and just be so cookie or fortune cookie, but like it really does all come down to presence in many ways. There's presence, there's awareness and a lot of that. But like, so then when we break that apart and say, well, how does that, okay, that's a good concept, but what does that actually mean? You know, and that's where in the fitness space, sometimes I guess it's a, I have a sensitivity, but I don't know who's saying this or if anybody is, and it's probably just, you know, the voice is in my own head.
01:03:06
Speaker
But we talk about checking in with yourself, honoring yourself, not just beating yourself into a pulp, not just punishing yourself. And I hear the critics. And frankly, in many ways, I've heard the critics my whole life, and there's been a giant middle finger and a big old fucking smile that I've
01:03:27
Speaker
looked forward towards showing when I've, when I've proved the critics wrong kind of deal. And that's not, I'm not like saying that in like a woke, like I'm some tough guy, like it's just part of a driver. And I think a lot of who are driven, there is that element. I, I, I'll be honest with you and say like a large part of it. Um, you know, even in the military, like spite is a great motivator. And hey, I mean, that's just some of the things. Anyway,
01:03:55
Speaker
with that approach to being like, hey, if it's a day where you're barely sleeping, you talk about your fitness before you, you're barely sleeping, you're super stressed out, bunch of stuff going on, pandemic, your body's sore, you're not really feeling all that good, should you do a workout?
01:04:12
Speaker
that asks you to empty your soul. And we're going to say no, like don't. But you have to be present and you have to be brutally fucking honest to say, yeah, you know what? I am somebody who also enjoys emptying my soul on workouts.
01:04:31
Speaker
And I'm all right with suspending that for literally one day. I mean, that's sometimes like, when you look at how long people can suspend or not suspend something, the shorter that is that they can't suspend it, the greater the disorder is. So for example, like if you can't go one day without drinking alcohol,
01:04:52
Speaker
you're a fucking alcoholic, you have a problem, you have an alcohol disorder. If you can go however long, or same thing with any type of vice, and so to come into the present is the exact thing that you need to do to be able to make those hard decisions sometimes, which for some people the hard decision is,
01:05:11
Speaker
Yeah, hey, hop on the bike, put on some good music, and just cruise. And don't even consider it a workout. But you're doing so much more. And then on those other days where it's like, hey, you said you wanted something hard, here we go. And back to the critic kind of thing, that's what I think is important that, I guess for me personally, I just wanted to say,
01:05:33
Speaker
If you don't misinterpret honoring yourself and listening to yourself and checking in with not challenging or just taking the
Endorphins, Joy, and Fitness Reflections
01:05:41
Speaker
easy route. And so I think that's that balance between and it sometimes is razor thin between enabling and empowering and
01:05:50
Speaker
a coach can really only do so much. And yeah, I think a lot of coaches are actually enablers and are just complete shit, but empowering someone to be like, no, you have to do it. You empower the individual more than anything else. And so I think that's a challenging thing, but really coming back into that present,
01:06:13
Speaker
And on the daily scale as well as the season of life scale with, hey, yeah, six years ago, you're big into CrossFit. Now it looks different. And in six years from now, it might look completely different too. And like being okay with that, you know, but looking at presence as like the micro and the macro with like, what is it today? And how then are a bunch of today's making up, you know, this phase and this era? Yeah, I know that, uh,
01:06:43
Speaker
For me, fitness is about finding happiness, finding joy, especially during this time. And we bring up the pandemic. We talk about, I was having a conversation with some friends of mine the other day, and they have this gym in their garage, and they were just saying, it's just so hard to get motivated to go in there and do my workout.
01:07:12
Speaker
And they were just kind of like asking for advice. You know, what do you think? What do you do? And I just say, I'm looking for things that are just going to make me feel good. And, and then the question would be, well, does that, is that really a workout? Do those workouts really count? And I'm just like, I, I laugh at that. I'm like, if I am, cause I live up in the Hills here.
01:07:40
Speaker
And I hate walking my dogs up in the hills because it's really hard. So I just jump in my car and we drive down the hill and we walked the flats of Beverly Hills or West Hollywood. And it's nice. And sometimes that's my workout. And it does count because I tell people like, are you standing up? Are you moving around? Because if you're doing that, it pretty much counts.
01:08:08
Speaker
And I don't know, I like feeling, it's more now than ever. I like doing something that's just gonna be more of a stress reliever. Yeah, and I think that's the thing too with people like, I had a friend of ours, she was like, hey, you should, this is like a better alternative to Prozac.
01:08:32
Speaker
I'm like, well, I'm pretty sure we can't put that on marketing material, but it is that thing of like doing things that make you feel good. Now, of course, yes, like there are tons of vices and unhealthy things, and we don't even have to entertain the thing of like, yeah, you can't just be, you can't just have complete...
01:08:53
Speaker
like being driven completely by like, I want this immediately and I want it now and I'm just gonna chase pleasure all the time. Like no, but the fitness standpoint, when there are different things, you'd be surprised like what can make you feel good and how does that relate to that individual? What season of life are they in? Of course, what coaches have, but there are so many people who like they don't actually feel good after they work out.
01:09:20
Speaker
They don't even feel anything. They go in there. They hate it. They fight it. They do it half-assed, even though they're probably pretty impressive. And then they get in with it. And it's just like, well, I'm glad I got that over with. So it's like, so you're relieved. You're not feeling fulfilled and joyful. And you do things better when you care about them kind of deal. From the fitness standpoint,
01:09:49
Speaker
Well, I think though that the reality of what people misunderstand is like that, yes, your endorphins will work. And we talk about this a lot because Bill's understanding of like what's happening with the brain and the body, you know, that's been just tremendous in the past year of like just learning so much about that. But like, yes, of course, because I've had, I've done this most of my fitness career where it's like, I don't feel like working out.
01:10:14
Speaker
But I know I'll feel better when I do it, and then I do it, and I'm like, oh, I feel good. But it's, yes, there are endorphins. Those are working. It's the question of how do I feel two hours later, tomorrow, the next day?
01:10:25
Speaker
you know, that string of like all those days tied together. And when you ultimately aren't really feeling good, your body is not enjoying it. Your mind's not in it. That's where people do lose their motivation. They sort of are like, like, because why would you want to go back to that? So the point in case about the, the garage, whatever that is, and I think you and I are like this, when you sort of lose interest a little bit, it really, I, that's my, I'm learning now, like that's my time. I need to,
01:10:54
Speaker
Okay, what would make me feel good? That's one of the questions on Phil's like self-assessment is like you realize is it like joyful and I want to be here and express or am I just here because I have to and I'm sort of numb and if you're answering numb and you're still going there and doing that same thing you're kind of just beating your head against a wall and you're not getting anywhere with feeling good or your fitness probably. Yeah, I think that if
01:11:24
Speaker
you wake up one day and you go, I just do not want to work out. Maybe that's the day you don't work out. But then there also is that thing that you said a few, a minute ago about the endorphins because there are times where I do need to motivate myself and just say, you know what, you're going to, you're going to get that workout. And as soon as you start, you're going to feel good. You're going to be able to take that hot suit off and you're going to,
01:11:53
Speaker
have a good sweat and you're gonna be really happy about that. And sometimes I need to get over that hurdle to actually do it. But then there are those times I'm like, you know what? I'm not working out. Like yesterday, didn't work out. I was talking to a friend of mine, I read, I just kind of just took care of myself. I was cooking and that
01:12:17
Speaker
Like before I could have never done that. And that's, that's a big part when you look at the fucking body and emotions and how emotions, we say I talk about emotions and you know, the eye roll or the, you know, you can't talk about it, but it's like, okay, fine. Forget the word emotion. It's an impulse. Okay. And emotion is embodied via an impulse. So there's this compelling reason to do something in the form of a physical impulse. So if we look at,
01:12:45
Speaker
emotional fitness, we can look at impulse control. And sometimes it's a function of delaying the buy-in to the immediacy of actioning a specific impulse. So that might mean like, yeah, I'm going to actually trade in immediate sort of feel good for long-term health. All right, what is that? Yeah, I'm going to eat a vegetable, not, you know, whatever, you know, to make it dumbed out.
01:13:13
Speaker
being able to actually control that impulse and recognize what it's doing and what its influence is on you. And so with that, there's also that fitness element of when you know that that impulse is sending you a signal that you do need to listen to, like,
01:13:32
Speaker
then action it. And if it's like, no, I need to take a rest, okay, be aware of the impulse. Be a little bit curious with it. What's going on? What else is going on in life? Is there anything else? Is it just that it's rainy and cold and in the morning and your dog is next to you? Like, yeah, that's natural. But being curious with that impulse and delaying that buy-in I think is a degree of emotional fitness, which obviously combines also the mental
01:14:03
Speaker
decision-making process. And then the last thing is like, you didn't work out yesterday. That doesn't burn your identity as somebody who likes to do fitness, as someone who respects health, as someone who wants to have longevity in fitness. And I think that's the other thing. It's like, if I didn't work out today,
01:14:25
Speaker
your, you know, whatever, and then you start to attack your character. And then on the flip side, it's like this fake building up of the character of, well, I went in, I did my workout. It's like, hmm, yeah, but in doing so, like, what else did you kind of trade off for it? And no one can, and that's where it's like, yeah, that's where I think you do need a coach oftentimes to be able to have these conversations. And, you know, oh, well, I did it. I went in, I did it. It's like, okay, good. That might, you, that might've worked today.
01:14:55
Speaker
right on, is that a pattern? And it's so much deeper than just like, yo, hey, get it in. You know, and I see a lot of, I mean, it's rife with it because it's idea, it's a good idea fairy and it's the kind of bumper sticker fortune cookie stuff that. And I also think that we talk about ebb and flow, right? I think that there could be a period of your life that you do have to check it off of your to-do list and that's okay too.
01:15:24
Speaker
But I think it's just wherever you are at any given time. But I think the bottom line is to be self-aware of it, to have that conversation with yourself. Like, wait, do I not want to work out today? Because yes, I had such a good workout that I know that I'm going to feel better if I just take these 24 hours and just kind of like rest my body. Having those real conversations and not make it be
01:15:54
Speaker
an emotional self conversation, but more of a pragmatic one. And I think that that tends to be, you get ahead of the curve that way. But we all love, when it comes to working out, we all love to work out. I love to work out. I have friends that are musicians that, they love to play the guitar and they play the guitar for a bit of time every single day. It's just something that,
01:16:23
Speaker
keeps their brain, their motor skills working, or the piano, whatever the case may be. It's what we're passionate about. Yeah. But it does feel good. The other day, I had one of those moments where I didn't even occur to me if I was going to work out, or I hadn't even thought of it. And that would never
01:16:45
Speaker
have happened to me previously I mean that I was and I said to Bill like before like I was going to get my workout in I didn't care who what I was like it could be coming yeah a date with him or working out and I felt like and that's where it's like a disorder like I had to get it in and it didn't have and it wasn't
01:17:06
Speaker
It could be like something, like a hundred burpees. Like I had to go there. I had to get it. Think about that. And I'm grateful that I've done the work to kind of, but I still have those moments today. I rode the bike for an hour and three minutes and some change, which is hard for me to stop when it's not an even number, of course. I had those moments throughout the bike.
01:17:28
Speaker
Like is this counting? Like it's not, it's always something to work on. It's not like a magic pill where you wake up one day, decide, I'm going to have a great relationship with fitness and then off. There's always, there's times where I feel great and I'm totally in sync with my fitness. And then there's times where I feel sort of like, I'm like juggling. And I, and I think that's okay. It's funny. You bring up, you brought up a comment or a comment just a minute ago about,
01:17:55
Speaker
Like you were going to get that workout in no matter what that mentality is like Nicole, we all know Nicole, my assistant. Uh, she, she has seen all of it with me. Like she has seen those times where she has to schedule that workout in, in my schedule. Because if she doesn't, she does it more for herself than for me because she knows of, of what, uh,
01:18:23
Speaker
bitch i could be but then the flip side of that is uh me going to my hot yoga class especially because you've you've gone to those with me uh cariana uncle bill still has not gone to one uh but like it got to where especially my 90 minute class 90 minutes of standing in a room that's 115 plus degrees on a mat like it's intense like she
01:18:50
Speaker
got it to where she knew exactly when I would be taking that nine 30, uh, that 90 minute class. And she would make a point to not be in my house afterwards because she couldn't be around me after that because the littlest thing I need to eat, like I'm going crazy. I'm like, bitch, you're insane. We took that class, let it be known. And then this is what's funny when you talk about portions.
01:19:18
Speaker
we went back to your house and you had, you had like water and kombucha to offer me. I'm like starving. We've been sweating for 90 minutes. And then you're like, Oh no, I have some food I made last night. I'm thinking great. It was the tiniest little, it was like two ounces of fish. And then you're telling me we're going to split it. I'm like, I'm going to have to eat at the port of party on the way home. So yes, I, I, I do recall. We've
01:19:46
Speaker
Like I love that we can have discussions, you know, disagree, agree, like go on the journey that they're not the same, but we have those similarities and we can accept each other and still have, you know, I really is nice too to be stimulated by the conversation and someone like yourself who's obviously a professional and has so much experience in the industry. So I did. I mean, I just love it. And I love talking to the two of you.
01:20:16
Speaker
Uh, and I always love when I'm able to be around people in our field and I get, I get something that really resonates with me. And, uh, uncle Bill has said something to me that I think about all the time. And, uh, I mean, I, I thought about it today in my workout. It's something that has just like stuck with me and I feel like it's going to stick with me forever and it's the littlest thing.
01:20:45
Speaker
It's the littlest thing, but whenever Uncle Bill would program something for me to do, especially now with Between the Ears and why I love what you guys are doing so much, his comment was in the workout, it was like, find time to smile. Put a smile on your face when you do it. And it's just this little thing that somebody could just like throw away and just be like,
01:21:14
Speaker
Well, that's bullshit. I'm not going to do like smile. Like I'm, uh, I'm looking at like how many rounds he wants me to do of this or whatever. Like the smile. That's what made me just go. I mean, I love him. I love him. I love him so much and will do anything that he tells me to do. Uh, and it's, it's that little thing that makes me feel good. And like all of a sudden I'll be in
01:21:42
Speaker
something that is making me kind of crazy. I could be on my bike for an hour that you know all of a sudden it's a mental thing. It's like Uncle Bill wants me to smile right now and I'll just smile and it just makes me feel better. So I thank you for that Bill. Well thanks for not just throwing it away and it's one of those things that it's easy to throw away. I think now that like yeah that neuroscience is kind of
01:22:07
Speaker
getting a little bit like in vogue, I think more people will take to it. But like, you know, this was a thing that was something that I learned younger and certainly validated over and over in the army.
01:22:21
Speaker
But the thing is with it, it has to be authentic. Like it can't be a mask. And because the mask thing doesn't work, you're not gonna trick yourself. And so the, if you can find, I've said this again, smiling is a fucking superpower. If you can, in the middle of the shit,
01:22:39
Speaker
find something to smile about like the amount of inner strength that you that you have just displayed. You might it might it's not going to change the situation. But because that's not like you're going to have to be the one to do that. And but I will say this and I'll take from a 12 step ism, which I'm not I'm not in a 12 step program, but I have studied it. I'm not a friend of Bill, but I'm very close to Bill, you know, it's like that
01:23:08
Speaker
a mentality. And that is sometimes you got to fake it till you make it. Right. There are times where like, especially in the beginning, I had to put a smile on my face that, you know, maybe was a bit of a mask, but I knew it. It's like, I'm putting on this. Oh, I'm smiling. Uncle Bill wants me to smile. And I'm going to do it. And then I could laugh about myself afterwards and after the fact, I'm like,
01:23:35
Speaker
That was like, it becomes authentic, but sometimes you got to think until you make it, Bill. Yeah. Okay. So I don't necessarily disagree with that. And I think that part of that thing of like, and I was working with a client yesterday and when we started working and we were, it was simple stuff, but it was, it was also complex and it was also deep. And, you know, I had told them like, you know, this stuff might see, he's a surfer.
01:23:55
Speaker
And like, you know, when you first learned to surf, you weren't like zen surfing, like you are now, where you're just tearing up, like you're not, that's not where it is. So there is a little bit of that mechanical element to it, and that's okay. So yes, the whole like, and again, and I think that to speak in absolutes is to speak in complete fucking ignorance, to be honest.
01:24:16
Speaker
to say that, all right, yeah, you're gonna smile, okay, you might not feel weird or whatever, but you're actually gonna do it. And always kind of looking at how you're learning about it and what that process is like. And if you're learning, if you're like, okay, I am definitely faking this, like this is not real, but I'm gonna keep going, I'm gonna keep kind of giving into it. The funny thing about like not,
01:24:38
Speaker
convince, not tricking yourself. You know, when the muscles do fire, like they do send signals to the brain and all of that stuff. But then there's this interesting element where it does kind of switch over to when you're able to actually, and it doesn't have to be the world's biggest smile. You
Managing Emotions and Cherishing Relationships
01:24:56
Speaker
know what I mean? But when you're able to say like, all right,
01:25:00
Speaker
I've identified something within, something within myself, something within my world, something within my life that I can crack a smile with. I mean, and when it truly is that time, like you're training for that. So sometimes it might go better. Sometimes it might go worse, but when you are in that time and if you think to yourself, all right, like there is, and there are sometimes situations where it's obviously not appropriate to smile. You know what I mean?
01:25:26
Speaker
Clearly fucking situations like that. But practicing that, and you can practice that in the gym, you can practice that wherever. But you can apply it to the outside. And I think that's the part of fitness where when we look at how the body, the mind, the emotions, our thoughts, the stuff we want to do, the value, how we want to serve, who we want to be.
01:25:49
Speaker
the gym is the petri dish for all of that stuff where you can do experiments on yourself and you can really do or you really can learn not just about like who you are or whatnot but also like how you want to be outside and so take a stressful scenario you know if you can smile and better like if you can believe it and if you can
01:26:13
Speaker
It's not gonna eliminate the stress or it's not gonna eliminate the hardship. Sometimes not even gonna eliminate the despair, but there is, it is truly a superpower. Can you put a real smile on your face right now, Cabell? That's a real smile, isn't it? Yeah. Well, if you're doing this, I think that's a good ending moment. Yeah.
01:26:41
Speaker
We miss you. I hope we'll see you in New York. I know, I miss you. I'm so sad that we're not doing our Christmas lunch this year. Olivia, every year we remember Mariah Carey and New Year's. So this year will be a quiet New Year's and fun. Did you get our Christmas card? I did. I got your Christmas card. I got my two favorite Christmas cards.
01:27:11
Speaker
from you guys and from Howard Stern. I got my Howard Stern Christmas card. And I mean, I was just like, yesterday was a good day. See, it was like the little things in life, right? I got my, I got my carry on Uncle Bill card and I got Howard and Beth. So I was like, today was yesterday was a good day. But we should plan a Zoom little new year holiday little thing.
01:27:41
Speaker
with the kids and with Anthony. All right. We'll do that. We'll find a time. All right. Well, I love you. I love both of you. I love the conversation that we had. I think we had, I think we had a good chat. What do you think? Good chat. It was a good chat, Bob. I think it was a good chat. I just heard Anthony laugh in the other room. I wonder if he's laughing at us. I can't hear like, I can't hear with these, uh, with these headphones. I can't hear anything around, but I will tell him that. Um, all right.
01:28:11
Speaker
I love you guys. All right, Bob. Thanks for the chat. Chat with you soon. Bye, Nicole. OK. Bye. Bye.