Transcript
Speaker: and um Yeah. Okay, so first question, gay or straight? Straight. Yeah. A wife and two kids. Yeah. I don't know if Obby is definitely, I don't know if it's Obby.
Speaker: It's Obby. It's pretty Obby. Really? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, especially just watching this movie. He's definitely straight. He's just evil.
Speaker: He is evil, yes. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. uh, this movie. This movie. Anyways, before we get into it how is everybody doing today? Good.
Speaker: It's, uh, looks like it's gonna rain. It's, um, you know. That was like ah like a hard like... love but um love when it rains, but I yeah refuse to invest in an umbrella. So it's really just about the roll the dice for me. You don't yeah have an umbrella at all?
Speaker: No. I found walking in a city with an umbrella is actually a pain in the ass. I mean, I just put it in my bag. It's easy. Well, no, not like carrying it around, but like it's walking when you're trying to walk down the street and like there's other people like I'm constantly worried I'm going to be like poking somebody's eye yeah Which man is this? Do you have like a penguin umbrella? Do you have like a long umbrella with like a needle on the end of it that shoots poison? No, but like Especially like during like tourist season, I remember being like on the Magnificent Mile and like walking. There's like a gajillion people not paying attention. I'm just like, oh, God, oh, please don't run into my umbrella.
Speaker: even when it's open. Well, one thing is, don't go downtown. That's your first part. I was going to say, every time I walk on the Magnificent Mile, regardless of the situation, I'm like, God, stay away from me.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Just don't do it. Don't do it period. And don't do it with an umbrella. but gia um charlie is very excited that you are guesting on this podcast because like he's just like she has exquisite taste in music it which are we still on the intershikari from like we're still on the intershikari he won't charlie has like three jokes he's never let any of them go in his life that's true yeah and he will continue them for until we all die His jokes are hump day, enter Shikari, British. Those are his three things.
Speaker: British. Oh, speaking of, he listened to the Bend It Like Beckham episode, which came out this week. And he had- texted me a lot. Yes. So many issues. He had so many issues. was like, Emma, that doesn't mean what said. Were any of them with our impeccable Irish accents? Was that any part of it? Nope. It was just all about how I relayed things that he said during the movie. He was like, that's not what I said. I said, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And I was just like, and it came in my ear the same way that I said it out loud. And was just like, that's what I heard. I wouldn't expect a British person to care about the Irish.
Speaker: yeah That's true. Oh yeah, he got really up in arms about that. he was just like that. I didn't see it like that exactly, Emma. um Would you like me to read the text messages that he sent me? Yes.
Speaker: This is i was not Charlie's Correction Corner. Charlie likes to have issues with what his wife says. Okay, I was not saying that they were playing football wrong. Just that the set piece taking was wrong so it could produce a nice story.
Speaker: Jess would not have taken that free kick as there were multiple better set piece takers. I don't know what any of that means. So I said, that makes sense. yeah I would like that correction because it makes it sound that I am i saying that women are playing football wrong.
Speaker: yeah And I said, I doubt that anyone thinks that. Movies always have to fudge the facts on how things work to make a good story, but we can read the correction in the next episode. It's just the way Emma worded it. Also, I did not like, I did not say Jess being discriminated against was the same as the Irish guy, but that he would know what discrimination was like, but it is very different because this was just based on where he was born, whereas hers is based on the color of skin.
Speaker: Australia call it soccer. Their national team is the Socceroos. And then I said Socceroos somehow sounds extremely British. Socceroos. Oh my God. I feel like I lost it like at the end there, but I think it started pretty good. my started collapses And then it ebbed and flowed. um He was so worried that everyone would think that he hated women and that he was saying that they were playing soccer wrong because they were women. And I was like, that is not the first thing or at all what we were implying. I was just implying that you're such a soccer fan that you were saying that this movie, they were playing it wrong.
Speaker: Nobody thought that you were saying that you don't like women. Now you're putting it out there. Yes. Yes. Yes. I didn't until now. Now I think you right don't like women. Right.
Speaker: No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Charlie. Charlie. Famously a lover of all people.
Speaker: lover of all people. ah Famously featured in this movie. Famously in this movie. Snaps. That is full circle. um That's right, guys. This is go Get Your Girl. This is the podcast where Emma and Katie and their friend Gia...
Speaker: um I'll go to a fabulous summer camp for theater nerds. And they just embrace and they're weird. And they sing some like Broadway classics. And some of their fellow campers are insane. And some of them are going through a lot of traumatic stuff. ah That sort of gets, you know, really glazed over. But um yeah, we'll get into it.
Speaker: ah Yeah. And also, ah so they start out singing some fantastic classics, some fantastic Broadway classics, most mostly Stephen Sondheim, because I have a feeling he just he had a foot in this movie. And god they they they needed to suck up a little bit to get him in it. But here's the thing. they It's not really sucking up because he is the greatest musical theater composer of all time. And it's such a get that they got him to be in like two scenes.
Speaker: I love it. But um but then we somehow end with the benefit with a bunch of songs that. Don't make sense. They don't make sense. they're not good. They needed original songs. um And well, we'll get there. We'll get to that. yes That's the while in the future. Yeah. but um But yeah, that's right, guys. I'm Emma.
Speaker: I'm Katie. And I'm Gia. Yeah! but but And today we are talking about the movie Camp from 2003, written and directed by Todd Graff.
Speaker: Now, Todd Graff... Tell me about Todd Graff. Todd Graff is a writer and director. He has directed the movies Band Slam and Joyful Noise, which are both movies and music.
Speaker: So he has a niche. Right? ah he Is it a joyful noise? The one with um Dolly Parton? um Yes, I believe that's true. It is about a choir. yeah I remember that. It's like weirdly Jesus-y. I think because we were allowed to watch it at my high school.
Speaker: and um Well, you were not in high school when this movie came out. Oh, JK. So it stars Queen Latifah, Kiki Palmer, Jeremy Jordan, and Dolly Parton, and Courtney B. Vance.
Speaker: Oh, Torge. Mixed reviews with praise for its songs, but criticism of its script and tone, which does not surprise me. Todd Graff is also famous for ruining the American version of the movie The Vanishing, which The Vanishing is I believe it's Dutch? Sporeloose? Is a...
Speaker: Dutch? I've like vaguely heard of it. It is um it Netherlands and France, yes. um Which is one of the most bleak, upsetting, disturbing movies ever made.
Speaker: um It is about a um a man who becomes obsessed with the disappearance of his girlfriend years later and goes on this like obsessive like pursuit of her kidnapper slash killer. And it is, yeah, one of the most bleak movies ever made. It's also very, very good.
Speaker: yeah And very famously in the 90s, the same director remade his own movie in English with Kiefer Sutherland and Sandra Bullock and Jeff Bridges.
Speaker: And gave it a happy ending. What? Which is like, it would it's it's hard to describe. It would be like... Titanic and they and Jack doesn't die at the end or The Notebook and they both don't grow old and die. yeah.
Speaker: Well, yeah. i mean, the notebook is a pretty happy ending, but we have a whole episode about that. Or, or, or, or, or. they They had their whole life together on the notebook. Yeah, Titanic is a good example. It's as if someone rewrit remade Titanic And then, like, he got up on the door and they had a happy life to be work together. They lived together forever and ever. That's the end.
Speaker: What they do in this movie. I mean, it's still, like, an upsetting thriller, but then weird. just, like, the famous example of, like, the ending, bizarre tone Where they have to, like, change things because they... Because we have to be happy. Yeah, yeah. So he wrote that, which, again, miles away from this movie. Like, that is What?
Speaker: He also wrote The Beautician and the Beast. Oh, fuck yes. One of the worst movies I've ever seen. you mean one of the worst, best movies that we will be doing on this podcast? One thousand percent. Which is a it's basically the same thing as the TV show she was on. Yeah. Like, Fran Trescher had had the a TV show called The Nanny, and then she made this movie, which is almost exactly the same thing as The Nanny. It's very weird. Yeah.
Speaker: But it's like, what if we had bigger budget? Yeah. And set it in, like, not Russia. Most recently, he wrote The Crowded Room, which was an Apple TV miniseries starring Holland as a person with dissociative identity disorder who, like, sexually assaulted a bunch of women. It's a whole, it's, yeah, so anyway, I normally don't spend this much time describing the films of the other films of people who wrote these movies, but, like, that is such a weird breadth for this person. But I feel like it's, like, it's so weird. random. He loves take- mean, this movie is also about a sociopath, I guess. It is. loves to be like, I'm going handle this sensitive subject and I'm going to really do it justice. And then he just does, and then he just ends it whack.
Speaker: Yeah. And then he's just like, and then we're all fine. Don't worry about it. Bye bye. He also loves to take a mental illness and be like, man, this is the reality. And I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker: is a mental illness and it's fine. because It's kind of like getting hate crimed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, several moments in this movie, I had to remind myself what year this was. Yeah. Because I was just like, what? Yeah. What? Okay. I mean, um I memorized this movie.
Speaker: Yeah. They shot this movie in, I believe it was 2001, because Anna Kendrick says she was 16. Yeah. Yeah. She looks like baby. She looks like a baby. Yeah, she's a fetus. I screamed out loud is the first time she was Which brings me to the first of Emma's Fun Facts, Emma's Fun Facts. So Anna Kendrick has said in interviews that um when she was doing this movie, she was 16, but she's so she was so adamant that she didn't want any sort of like hint of lesbianism between her and... the um her what's her name ji is it jill jill and she was just like so was like i just was so upset that i had to play the crazy character because i had to go back to high school and i just wanted to be the pretty girl but you know the pretty hot girl at the summer camp not the the one that's washing the pretty hot girls underwear And I was just like, she was like, now I would absolutely 1000% like lean into that and, and like make her so in love with Jill. But at the time I was just like, I just want to be a normal teen. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and she kind of does that yeah in um a simple favor. She does. One and two. it She gets her time to do that.
Speaker: Yeah. um Yes. So movie was made 25 years ago, basically. oh, um oh, oh. That's right. Yeah. um And it stars a bunch of teenagers and people in their very early 20s. I mean, these people are young. They're really young. Usually a movie like this would cast like 25-year-olds and yeah have them play teenagers, but a lot of these are children. Yeah. I don't think they had the budget to cast ah a bunch of adults from what I've read about the making of this film. No. This movie was no famously made on a shoestring budget. Yeah. I mean, it's made at
Speaker: And about Stage Door Manor, the famous musical theater camp for rich parents to send their little darlings off to. Yep. To shoehorn them into Hollywood. Exactly. Yeah.
Speaker: And it's made by a bunch of people who went there. And it's kind of like like a love letter that these that this this man and and his you know co-producers made to this camp that you know they they loved. And like the people that I know who went to Stage Door...
Speaker: feel the same way. And like, I'm sure I would too, if I had been able to go to stage door. Yeah. yeah Yeah. If I had known about stage door and was allowed to go to that instead of, um, red pine camp for girls where I was traumatized about, um, Angus thongs and full frontal snogging. Um, I'm sure I would have had a lovely time too.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. Um, But we didn't. We didn't go to Stage Door Manor because we hadn't heard of it. And my parents couldn't afford it. But. Yeah. Well, there was like also there was Interlochen. But by the time I knew what Interlochen was. Interlochen was big too. Yeah. By the time what I knew what Interlochen was, I was like too old. And like, I don't want to go to camp. want to hang with my friends.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah i want to have sex i mean I want have sex. I mean, you could do that at camp. I did not do that at Red Pine Camp for Girls, I'll tell you that much. Disappointing. I was very young, and that was not even a hint of a thought in my brain over, um you know, just wanting to make Red Pine Dancer. That was my number one goal.
Speaker: um not Red Pine Dancer? Yeah, it was like an award that i compete that you would compete for and Oh, there was just one. It wasn't like a a group. it was just No, it was just one. um And you basically you learned to dance and then you had to choreograph your own dance. And then you had to perform it for um the ah dance instructor and then like like one or two like ah old red pine dancers. And um at the end of the summer, they made the announcement of who got it. And then your name went on a plaque in the... um
Speaker: in the library and it was be would be there forever. And and you got it No, i famously um competed for it four times every single summer. One summer I even would wake up two hours early. My friend would be studying for her red pine horse one for horseback riding. And I would practice and red pine horse girl. Red Pine Horse Girl. A separate plaque. in this people right
Speaker: Red Pine Horse Girl. 2003, Heather. 2004, Heather. 2005, Heather. Heather. Heather A. Heather L. She's still right No, no, they're all different Heathers. They're all the characters. They're just all horse girls. um And ah yeah, Red Pine didn't yeah leave so much trauma with me that now I'm telling the story on a podcast and this is the second story about Red Pine. Um...
Speaker: I woke up the last time I can be before it I woke up two hours early every day for like two weeks to practice. And I still didn't get it because it always went to the popular girl. And ah that was the summer I learned that sometimes you can put in the most effort and you can practice and you can try. But this life isn't a movie, babe.
Speaker: You're still not going to get it. Did you consider poisoning the other dancer at any point? No, but I did cry very loudly during the announcement and then run away screaming. Emma, no.
Speaker: Was it like at breakfast? Was it like in front of the whole camp that I sat crying? It was in front of the whole camp? Oh. Yeah. I famously was homeschooled up until college.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. People tell me I turned out okay. Okay. She's the most normal person I've ever met who was homeschooled. mentioned that on the last episode um when we talked about voicemails for Isabel.
Speaker: oh right. Because we talked about homeschool. That's right. Yeah, because we we were concerned about um the sister in voicemails for Isabel. If she was homeschooled, like, why was she not more weird? um And that's when I learned that you were homeschooled.
Speaker: Yeah. Listen, some of us got out okay. It's really, like, theater really did save my life. I'll be honest. That's good. Without that, I probably would have... been a bit of a psychopath but all I had ah you know I was homeschooled up until college and also raised very religious so all I had was church camp but we went crazy on church camp it was like the whole the whole like main worship hall and parking lot and everything was turned into like like
Speaker: Bethlehem style village. Oh my god. thought you were going to say an orgy. Yeah, Emma, i was like, yeah, everyone gets super weird at church camp. Me and hundreds of other 12 year olds.
Speaker: So this was VBS that you're talking about. Oh yeah, this was Vacation Bible School. Yes, Vacation Bible School. But not any of that weird modern VBS where we just do like games and bullshit. Like we yeah it's like Spongebob themed VBS. Yeah, exactly. no No, we lived in Judea for a week.
Speaker: That's insane. We had a... it was like a Renaissance fair. It was like Colonial Williamsburg. Yes, exactly. we had burlap sacks, tiny chains, little habits. We were all divided into tribes. Each one with the name of one of the... one of the ah like the brothers of Joseph or whatever, like the sons Israel. That borderline anti-Semitic, honestly. it was It was not great. It was not great. um Did they have to, did you have to like have like choices where like you'd go down one path and you'd commit a sin or you could like make the right choice. And if you made the wrong choice, then your camp counselor came dressed like Jesus and told you. That would be so sick, but no, it was not that serious. You're describing LARPing, Emma. That's a totally different thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, this sounds like Bible LARPing. It was literally Bible LARPing. There were too many white people dressed in outfits they shouldn't have been dressed and But it was... Aw, man.
Speaker: Also in this movie. so Hey. um Hey. So yeah, so that's 20 minutes and we haven't started the first second of this movie. The first second of this movie is really something.
Speaker: Yeah. I feel like, like, what's the cultural impact? Like, what's everybody's story with this movie? Like, I personally saw this when it first came out and it fucking changed my life. And I was- You saw it theaters? No, I think I rented the DVD. Was this in theaters? I don't think it was don't know anybody saw it in theaters. This seems like a straight-to-DVD ass movie. It's IFC, so I assume that it was only in three theaters in 2003. Yeah, it probably- Yeah, probably played in New York and Los Angeles and yeah maybe Chicago and then went to DVD. Yeah, I don't remember how I stumbled upon this movie, but like I stumbled just like how I don't remember how I stumbled upon the Gus Van Sant film Elephant that I was also obsessed with. ah Oh, Jesus.
Speaker: The school shooter movie. Yeah, the school shooter movie. um And those were like two of my favorite films. um And ah hey, ah ah but like I was so obsessed with this. I would listen to the soundtrack front to back. I would skip over a lot of the new music. I just wanted to listen to the covers. Yeah.
Speaker: But like I was just enthralled. I memorized like all of the words like I this movie watching this movie is like looking into some of my DNA like it it it was just like so impactful. And then I put it in my back pocket and it became like an inside joke in college. And then I hadn't watched it again for like 20 some odd years until last night. So. Oh, really? okay Yeah. yeah um yeah we're all theater kids here um so you know i'm sure the stories are similar but like yeah my ah high school and college especially like this dvd got passed around like it was oh my god you haven't seen camp you have to watch yeah camp come over to my dorm room we will watch camp yes we will make you know uh gin and sprite and watch camp
Speaker: ah And yeah, that's definitely what we did. Shout out to my my friend and old roommate, Megan Kelleher. I believe she was the one who actually owned camp on BBB.
Speaker: um ah What a character. I think I've told stories about her before, but she was she was the the big musical theater kid. Yeah. She's the one who who knew every show, who like had the cast recordings. Yeah.
Speaker: that was that's what You went to Megan if you needed sheet music, if you needed cast recordings. like She had it all. Yep. What about you, Gia? So I was famously three years old when this movie came out what um Sorry, i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Speaker: sounded like it was in your mouth. It sounded like it was in your mouth. um I saw this movie for the first time when I was sick, I want say 16. was homeschooled, so I didn't do theater through school or anything like that. But there was a like non-for-profit, um like local theater, um community theater in Nashville, where I grew up, called The Theater Bug.
Speaker: um Children's Theater. The Theater Bug. um They do a lot of original plays, but a lot of really good stuff. Like the the the artistic director and writer is genuinely, she's she's pretty talented. Shout out to Corey Lamelle of the Theater Bug. um But we had like a you know, because it was it was all ages up to, you know, like 17, 18.
Speaker: Yeah. um And we had like an older kids night where we like came to the theater and hung out and ate pizza and watched movies. Um, and we watched camp. Um, and so it was me and a room of a bunch of other like 16, 17 year olds and the resounding gasp of Sondheim at the end of the movie was great. But I, I watched it then. It was legitimately life-changing.
Speaker: Yeah. Um,
Speaker: Yeah. Wow. This place seems cool. The theater book? Oh, yeah. It's super cool. Yeah, all it is, like, all original shows. That's amazing. And then, like, they've done they did, like, a lesbian Midsummer Night's Dream with, like, teenagers. like Oh, yeah. um They've done a lot of... This is also where I got into Shakespeare um through a man who unfortunately...
Speaker: I don't think is is as reputable these days, but he was very impactful on my, on my upbringing. um You started with sentence, a man.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. yeah thought Yeah. An older man in theater that everyone looked up to a lot. um Yeah. Don't like where that's going to go. Yeah. But yeah, I did a lot of Shakespeare, did a lot of original stuff, some musicals.
Speaker: It was pretty, it was pretty big for my development for sure. But yeah, Corey Lamell is, she's lovely. She was like a huge mentor to me growing up. She's a she genuine angel on earth and like has, you know,
Speaker: created a place for so many kids especially in Nashville Tennessee to like genuinely be themselves and like that was where I I met gay people for the first time you know when I was 16 like yeah famously didn't know gay people existed int know people existed until I was you can imagine the way my world was blown open um this movie a big part you know like yeah yeah so and say yeah this movie is is gay people before this movie you got a crash course in this movie gonna know him now you're gonna know him now yeah and it's a very normal um subtle uh depiction very realistic very realistic at no point nobody shouts bisexuality doesn't exist yes
Speaker: I mean, I mean, okay, like, like when, but like, okay, i didn't know gay people existed despite my mom having like a lesbian best friend in college that she didn't tell her about. And like when, when I was, when I came out as bisexual in high school, that les same lesbian best friend was like, well, well, she's just confused and she'll figure it out eventually.
Speaker: She'll just figure it, figure out that she's because like, yeah you can't be bisexual. Yeah. So goodness there's a lot of that. This movie has so many ah incredible lines though. Yes. So many. Anyways.
Speaker: anyways we're Not one second into the description of the plot. We start at the beginning. yeah Yes. This movie opens with a musical number. ah um beautiful musical number. I wrote, okay vocals, okay step touch.
Speaker: Yes. We open with gospel ah a song from Gospel at Colonus, which is an African-American musical adaptation of Oedipus at Colonus, which had a brief 1998 Broadway run.
Speaker: um um was ah nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. Oh, really? finalists yeah Yeah. Oh, wow. I'd never heard of it. Apparently, it's very good. It's... Did I not write down? I did not write down the... the the composer. Oh, well.
Speaker: It's a mystery. i didn't know Oh, well. but We'll never know. um Also, this movie only has the thing that I found so very upsetting rewatching this as an adult um slash so realistic is that this movie full of adorable, fabulous, wonderful theater nerds, musical theater nerds who just reminded me of me in high school. um Out of this entire cast, the only ones that are still working are Robin, Daddy, Seuss, Anna Kendrick. And then is it
Speaker: Dee. Dee, yeah. She's the the first girl we see. Dee, yeah. And she's the first one that we see. Absolutely gorgeous. And I remember she's she's ah more of like a Broadway actress. And like she like, anytime I see her, I'm just like, camp!
Speaker: Same with, oh, Sasha Allen. um Sasha Allen. Sasha Allen. And um those are the only three that are still working. Everybody else has gone to regular lives.
Speaker: Yeah. Everyone else sells insurance. Everybody else sells insurance, including Vlad and Alan. Vlad famously has a lovely family and a wife. Yep. He left. Does it say what he does? Like what his job on his Instagram? So his Instagram is pretty brief. he's He's a real like picture, no caption, no bio guy. oh Yeah, but it's so funny.
Speaker: ah Yeah. um Yeah, so we start with this kind of... yeah um metaphorical display um yeah where they're singing this song and the people are there, but they're also doing like, it's not necessarily flashbacks because it is really more of a um kind of an aesthetic thing. Yeah. um We see Michael who is played by Robin DeJesus, who is, has gone in drag to his prom. Yep.
Speaker: Doesn't go over well. don't know he would do such a thing. They don't really like- We don't explore it. He never really an explanation. We don't know if he's like intentionally antagonizing his father or it really doesn't get into it. No. But he gets beaten up. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: He gets beaten up. but Well, what I was going to say is that like the way that it's sort of implied throughout the movie and is is a mixture of it can go two ways of like, is he antagonizing his father or does he just really love drag? Because like then for his birthday, everybody dresses in drag.
Speaker: Like, is it just yeah yeah he loves drag and he wants to feel like himself? Yeah, but they don't ever talk about it. We don't talk about it. He doesn't talk about drag. I think they even only say the word drag once, maybe, in this. They're like, you know what we're going to do? We're going to start this movie with a gay boy in drag getting beaten up on the floor of his high school to show that got trauma. It provocative yeah yeah that's exactly what it is it really makes you think you know yeah i do i do love the the inserts at the beginning because we see we see our our main trio vlad ellen michael in sequence and we have a little pop-in of their name with a big old arrow pointing at them yeah the real world yeah yeah yeah in the in the in the version that i watched of this
Speaker: um through my subscription service that I that i paid for. um I was concerned that that this was an add-on because I did not remember that. I was concerned that this was something that someone had edited in and no, it was just in the book.
Speaker: Yeah, it was just that. Yeah, yeah. yeah And we learned that, um so we see Robin DeJesus, Michael, super traumatic we see ellen's her like trauma which is like a little less traumatic but like also really sad and relatable as like of a theater kid which is like she's trying to go to her prom and but like she's her she wants to take her brother so she doesn't have a date and her brother's like you're such a loser i'm not going to prom with you take someone that's not related to you and she just like she just wants to take someone and it's just like really sad
Speaker: um and then vlad poor um self uh image is yeah turvial yeah which is not helped by everyone in her family vlad who shows emotions really well and can yeah handle them vlad's whole thing is that he talks to himself in the mirror and then does like little karate moves to fight away what's thing is that is that he sucks that's vlad's thing he sucks is that he sucks that's thing is that he's a psychopath yep yes um But we have this this whole, like, kind of thing where they're singing this song and we get these intercuts of them in their in their lives outside of camp. And then we see Michael coming to her shirtless for this kind of, like, benediction, right? Yeah. And she, like, while they're still singing, like, holds him. Yeah. um So it is this, like, imagined or, like, allegorical kind of thing.
Speaker: theatrical display beginning of this movie and like you think at some point like towards the end of it you're like oh is this what's happening in michael's head as he's getting beat up because he's sort of disassociating and he says yeah later on that like while he was being beat up he put himself in his happy place which was camp yes yes um and then we meet uh the kids getting on the buses coming to camp uh we meet anna kendrick who is like seven years old yeah um the And her name is Fritzie. And one of my favorite jokes in the in the movie where yeah she she says to Jill, it's like, hey, is she goes like oh is this your first year? She's like, no, I was here last year.
Speaker: We were in Night Mother together. Yep. Which a joke they return to over and over again in this is that these children are play are doing these extremely... um inappropriate plays for children to be performing. So dark. night Night Mother is one, but the other joke about Night Mother is that Night Mother is a play with two people in it. It's only two people. Famously a two-person play.
Speaker: Yes. Two-person play about suicide. Yes, it is. Yeah. yeah
Speaker: And then we have this girl who, I don't even know if they ever say her name, who gets her jaw wired shut because her parents wanted send her to Weight Watchers. so her parents wanted to send her to weight watchers But they compromised because she wanted to come to theater camp, so they wired her jaw shut so she couldn't eat. Which is Like, just so... But also, I remember in, like, 2003 not being that, like, shocked or taken aback by that. I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker: I don't know. It's pretty abusive. I feel like you could get your kid taken away for that. Yeah. I mean, like, at the time, i just didn't feel that dramatic. But, like, watching it now, I'm like, oh, that's... Police, where are you?
Speaker: Yeah, there's, there's, her parents are evil. That's her thing. Everybody's got a thing. dad is evil. Her mom just. Her mom's not great. Her mom just lets it slide, you know? Yeah, her mom just lets it slide. But like, when she has her little solo at the end, she keeps looking over at the dad like, see?
Speaker: See? Look at our daughter. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Like, why didn't you push this before? don't know. um We have a lot of talk about Burt Hanley, who is this this drunk man. Oh, Burt Hanley. Who's a musical theater composer. And I'm assuming they just got the first person they met on the street to play him. yeah I don't understand i don't why this man is playing. he He's not. He's just washed up.
Speaker: He's not a good actor. He's now he's terrible. um yeah He struggles in every scene that he's in. and He has this horrific little soul patch. It's so good. it's like a quarter of a soul patch. It's like you took a soul patch and then shrank it to like a little tiny, like a hyphen. It's representative of the of the amount of soul that he has left.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Yeah, because he's just like a sad sack who just he just wants to drink. And because he made one musical, he reminded me of a mixture of two different professors I had in college.
Speaker: One of them like looked a lot like him and was an acting professor who was like bitter that he wasn't working and would be like get drunk and famous, notoriously got drunk and went to um an upperclassman's apartment during a party and asked and like cried outside like inappropriately. Oh my God. Yeah. East Texas. big That's very bad. um And then the other one is a playwright who he made one great play that then got turned into a musical and um didn't write anything else and came and taught
Speaker: I think he still teaches there and teaches playwriting. And I was in one of his like new works and um just like, but was, that was like his one thing. And so he would just tell stories about like the famous people that were in his play and like yeah his times in New York. And so like the combination of those two people, I was just like, oh, that's, that's this guy.
Speaker: That's this guy. Yeah. It is probably pretty well drawn um on on its face, um but man, this guy does not sell a single bit of it. No, he doesn't. Yeah.
Speaker: No. Tell us who that playwright is. I'll cut it out.
Speaker: All right, cutting all that out. Let's come in fresh. Okay.
Speaker: cutting all that out let's come in fresh okay But that's the T on that. um So yeah, so that just those two people just reminded me a lot of this, this guy. And um it's a shame. This piece of shit in this movie. Piece shit.
Speaker: Who just has so many nips. And he's just constantly putting little nips in his sodas. and Oh, nips. I thought you were talking about his nipples. No! He's just dipping them. Here in the East Coast, they called the little bottles of alcohol nips.
Speaker: Airplane bottles? Yeah. I hate that. and They're called nips. Don't like that. um Framed picture of Stephen Sondheim. Then we have Vlad.
Speaker: Vlad the straight boy, who I can only assume... They named him Vlad because of Dracula and because he's a vampire who comes and destroys everyone's lives. I don't think they thought that through. Why not name him Chad? Like, why could we name him Chad or Steve or like, or I don't know, any other like stereotypical early 2000s, like bruh name.
Speaker: Straight white boy name. Yeah. yeah Like why Vlad? Just so that we can make like a weird note to frickin' Chekhov later on in the movie.
Speaker: It's weird. um He brings a skateboard, a football, and a basketball to theater. camp Yes, there They're like, we don't know if he's gay or straight yet. And then he sets down a football and then also a basketball and then also a skateboard. they're like, oh, okay. and And there's that moment, that and his audition scene, it is exactly that moment in center stage where I was just like, oh, this is just teenage center stage. um Where they're like, it's a straight boy. Listen, it's very real. Like when a straight boy is in a group of theater people, yeah like. It's like blood in the water, baby. It's like, everybody's like, oh, he's getting the main role. All of the girls are like, I have a special surprise. Hey. Yes. have surprise for you later tonight. Wink.
Speaker: um He sings wild horses yeah for his audition and the band joins Yep. Everybody's into this kid. i love the the bit where the band just starts doing their little like musical solo bits of the song. and it's like but this is this is just wasting our time.
Speaker: Y'all don't need show But it's so nice. i have expected. I was actually very surprised that we didn't get the pianist from Glee in this. Yeah. You know the pianist in everything? has to do with musical theater. I was just like, where's that guy? No, this pianist is the most... He working in the theater. He's the most like youth group looking motherfucker I've ever seen. know.
Speaker: He's always like, he's so into it. He's like doing a whole like full body like motion. doing this. Yeah. Apparently it's the band from Rent on Broadway. I was going to say. Oh, okay. The band from Rent.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I love the fucking boo-boo dolls looking soul patch motherfucker on the guitar. he's my favorite. There's a lot of soul patches in this movie. He's soul patches. um Yeah. So the the the they do a new show every two weeks. It seems like it's a six week program. It's hard to say. Yeah.
Speaker: The first shows that they're doing are Buried Child. Yep. Promises, Promises. Follies. and then Midnight Sun, which my guess is the famously litigious Beckett estate would not have let them do pieces of Endgame, which is what they're doing. Which is essentially what they're doing.
Speaker: Yeah. um Then they have this this director who calls Ellen a middle class piece of shit. Yes! A middle class piece of shit. Because none of them suffered.
Speaker: Trying not to screw the blocking. Trying screw up the blocking, which is very funny. Eyes left, eyes right. Silent Scream. Yes. Silent Scream! um ah Yes. So um that is what Ellen and Vlad are doing instead of musical follies or promises promises.
Speaker: And the joke is repeatedly like, it's funny that kids are doing this. That's the joke. And it gets it. Honestly, it's funny every time. I don't know. Like it just, it is. It's still funny. You get the scene with the two like random grownups that just like live in upstate New York that just go see theater at this camp. And they're like, yeah, we see stuff every summer. um Last summer. What was it that we saw? We saw this play Wit.
Speaker: a Wit. Very dark, but very well done. Very entertaining. Yeah. Wit is a play about a um an older, not necessarily old, but like middle-aged, I guess, a college professor who gets brain cancer. Yes. That's what that play is about. Like just completely inappropriate for teenagers to be doing. Yeah. um i This brings me to the first of many questions that I had rewatching this film as an adult. So...
Speaker: The way that it goes, they do shows every two weeks. They had general auditions at the beginning of the summer, which makes sense. um Just sort of like see where everybody's at. But then like they get cast because like the cast list goes out.
Speaker: But then it also seems that they can audition inside of those musicals for roles. I think that that is a um continuity error. Okay. I got very confused because there was like the singing scene with like all the different singers singing I'm Still Here.
Speaker: and then um And then there was like- Which again is about old performers. Yes. Like still performing a show even though they're too old to be playing it. And it's sung by kids in braces. Yes. And then there's the scene with Anna Kendrick and um the redhead chick in the costume, in their costume class. And she's talking about. Oh my God. That's so horrible. Yeah. Right. It's so horrible. But it like happens. That is a continuity. Yeah.
Speaker: That's a continuity error, I think. yeah I think that, so the only reason we know that is because of that probably second unit shot of them panning over the cast lists yeah of the of the shows. And I think that was probably added in in second unit, in post and almost in post. Okay. And so they had already filmed that and just didn't didn't make the continuity fix there. Because they're acting like it hadn't already been cast. And we know because of a just an insert shot that it has already been cast. Well, the insert shot, and then we'd already seen the rehearsals for Midnight Sun. And we had already like seen X, y and Z. But then we get these auditions for...
Speaker: different things and follies and Promises Promises. And I'm like, so do they just get like grouped and then they audition inside that? the cast list is there. Like yeah they're they're they're cast individually. It just wasn't thought out. But I did notice that Fritzie has a fake character in Promises Promises. She does? it's I checked it with the cast list just because I'm a loser. Nerd. um And I'm like, who is that? And the character is not on the cast list of the musical Promises Promises. Oh my god. The others are. Because Promises Promises is a musical based on a movie we've done on this show, The Apartment.
Speaker: Um... So it's, ah yeah, i mean it could be like a, you know, a supernumerary they gave a a name to or or something, but it doesn't yeah seem like that. It seems like maybe whoever in props made that cast list just made up a name maybe. Yeah. um But also like, I do have to say with every single like musical that they do and you see scenes of it, it is the most inside joke theater kid, gay man, like of all the things. Cause like, yeah I remember my friend Robert, um we I had only seen Promises Promises through the lens of camp.
Speaker: I had never seen the actual musical or the performances of Turkey Lurkey Time. It's deranged. It's deranged. and so like when like my I had to have my friend Robert sit me down and be like, the reason why her hair is like that and why she's dancing like that is because that is a direct callback to this Tony Award performance um from the original cast of Promises, Promises, where she has, like, no neck.
Speaker: Yeah, it's, it's, um I think it's, it's Michael Bennett, right, who choreographed that? I think so. Um,
Speaker: yes, yes, Michael Bennett, um famous um director and and writer and choreographer ah for, um, um, Chorus Line did Promises Promises, yes. Yeah, and it's the most 60s ever looking thing that you did. And he made me like sit down and watch the original production, the original like performance of it. And i was like, oh my God, that's camp.
Speaker: Yes, yes, yes. The dancing is deranged. It's deranged. It is, it's, it's like coked out. Yeah. Absolutely. um And it's supposed to be silly and funny, like. Yeah. But especially watching these kids do it. And they do like the whole thing. This is the only. The thing.
Speaker: I think it's the only song in the, in the musical that they do the entire the entire song of. Yeah. um It just goes on and on. Yeah. It's great. It's, it's so great. It's so good.
Speaker: it yeah um So Ellen becomes obsessed with Vlad and so does everyone. So does everybody. Honestly, the the whole that this movie is a is a love triangle between Ellen and Vlad and Michael.
Speaker: That is kind yeah of what is happening. And then ah Jill like swoops in there every now and again because she's like, hey, I'm the whatchamacallit from High School Musical. I'm here to rule this school.
Speaker: She's from high school music? No, she's, she's, she's, oh, Sharpay. Sharpay. Sharpay. Yeah. She's the like, she is an insane ah psychopath. Yep.
Speaker: Who, like, shit and this is going to sound mean, but like, she's supposed to be the hot one and I'm immediately like, her? Yeah. like I remember watching it when I was younger and being like, her?
Speaker: Her? And that does sound really mean, but it was 2003. Rewatching it now as an adult, I'm like, oh, wow. Body standards in 2003 were so toxic that I thought she was the fattest person on the face of the planet. And watching her, she's not. She's beautiful. She's, uh- But she's not, like, super skinny. She's not super skinny. Which is so switch is strange, because that's the comparison, like, when Anna Kendrick tells the the big girl in the costume thing, it's like, you don't want to do turkey lurky time. That would be in miniskirts. People would see your chunky legs. Yeah. Yeah. And like, but the girl, like Jill is not super skinny. like Yeah. he's a She's she's a, she's a musical theater kid. Yeah. you she She looks like what musical theater kids look like. she's ah And she's like probably the same size as Ellen, but then she's like fat shaming Ellen. And I remember watching it yeah as a teen and being like, math isn't math in here. yeah Yeah. Yeah. I almost, I almost want to believe that it's like a, it's like a joke on the the,
Speaker: not incredibly pretty white girl who gets cast to do the the main bit and then like the very much more talented prettier black girls who are always just like right behind her not being featured i don't know if that's intentional but i watched it i was like that's ironic think it was an intent. I doubt. yeah I very much doubt. Based on the rest of the script, I doubt that's intentional, but that is like very charitable of you. yeah Very heavily underutilized their black female actress. Which is just like so real, but I don't think he's... it is Based on the way he's handled any other controversial or sensitive topic in this movie, I don't think he has the depth to portray that as I saw it, but it was a yeah it is more of a... like
Speaker: i I, for second, like on this rewatch, I was just like, oh, maybe it's during I'm, so um I'm not what the song from. I'm telling you I'm not going. I'm telling you. Because you get one of.
Speaker: the the girls in the background and she's making a face at ellen as she's performing it and i was like oh maybe it's that she's just like why why is this white girl playing effie like this makes yeah no sense but then as i'm watching it and then we see the like stage performance of it i'm just like oh no it's because that's the character in dream girls and that's just well also And to be, again, not not to be too charitable, but that other girl is the lead of Dreamgirls. Yeah. like Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, um it is a joke, obviously. So we have the this this, again, they don't have names. Oh, the brothers. This older kid and his younger brother. His little brother cute. These two black boys. cute. These two black boys, they're dressed up in Fiddler of the root and on the roof, like,
Speaker: the costumes and he's talking to the director and he's like, what you got to do a show with black people. This is crazy. Like, why do we have to play white people? And he's like, okay, what do you want to do? Smash cut to Ellen.
Speaker: but Not, not in brown face. Not in brown face. Thank God. With a giant. And I'm telling you, And then honestly, like, she's pretty good. Like, for a 16-year-old singing I Am Telling You, like, she kind of kills it. yeah But, like, my favorite thing is that they cast the littlest brother. His little brother, who's got to be less than 10, doesn't ever have a single freaking line in this he doesn't know what to do with any of his limbs. He just, he's...
Speaker: Well, no, he does. does know what to with his lips. He doesn't know Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, he's just acting with face. He doesn't know that he was for purpose. He's doing the most with so little. Yeah.
Speaker: And he's playing the the her love interest, and I was just like, what? Yeah. It's like she has to get on her knees to, like, turn him around. Yeah. Yes. It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny. Yeah. It's great. It's also so, it's so, doing all ages, like, community children's theater, there's so many kids like him. Yeah. They're just like, they're just, they're so little, and they're so cute, and they're just like,
Speaker: doing their best and it's like, wow, so funny. My favorite thing is that he doesn't really do anything. He doesn't do anything. You just kind of, he just kind moves around. stands there and then like, and he stares with his big old glasses and the glasses do a lot of the emoting. They really do. Yeah. But that's true. mean, that's part of the beauty of like children's theater and community theater is like you get to play these parts that you would not be able to play a million years. Yeah.
Speaker: And, um, let me, for him, not for her. Like she shouldn't play. She should never play Effie. No, the only time she would ever play Effie is at a theater camp in 2003. Yes, exactly. And she got her chance. Yeah. Um, uh, so Fritzie and Jill, um, bri oh wow Fritzie has become this bitch's servant basically where it's clear that she's in love with her She's washing her underwear in the sink. Yeah. um Which is the part when Jill like freaks out and is like, no, we're enough of this. We're not doing this anymore. You have to stop. That's the line.
Speaker: She was okay with Fritzie just like always constantly being having her back and being around there and like so giving her snapples at every like beck and call. ah Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: although like there it is really funny that whenever she brings vlad to her to her um her dorm or or like her room and uh vlad goes and she walks in she was like do you want fritzy to like make you a bug juice or something and he looks over at fritzy and fritzy's like stairs daggers and he's like i'm good here's the thing Anna Kendrick always been great like she had a Tony nomination when she was in this movie like like she she's she's fantastic she stands out obviously like she's the best actor in the in the group and like god she's so funny she's this weird little freak yeah there's a reason that she's one of the three that survived yes exactly yeah um And then I wrote Jill and her fucking patch denim skirt. What the fuck? I know!
Speaker: awful. Oh my god. But that every single outfit wore. like four different washes of denim that are like in pleats. It's awful. Every single outfit that she wore though, it's just something that I remember so vividly from that time. It's very Arapastal. It's very very era wet seal.
Speaker: Yes. It's very... wanna I do want to keep a running a running tally so far because um Ellen has a little post-rehearsal moment with Vlad. he puts his arm yeah around her you know it's It's real cute. They're like doing a thing. She's like being so awkwardly theater girl cringe and like a yeah oh my god somebody please throw a rock at me so I shut up like wow and then ah Jill takes him to her room they have a little who knows what goes in there you know they make out maybe do it apparently there's a lot of banging going on at this camp
Speaker: um Yeah, so um this is when they get into a fight. um ah Jill tells um Ellen, you might lose that hostile edge you have that's so unattractive. And I'm like, same.
Speaker: um And so Ellen storms off and Vlad goes up on the roof where he finds Ellen listening to herself singing on a boombox, not even in headphones. She is listening out loud to a CD of herself singing, which is the only theater kids did this. Only theater kids. Oh, man.
Speaker: he like kisses her and tells her that he likes her. And then he starts dancing dancing to nondescript hip hop music. That was my favorite. And he was just like, you want to listen to just some normal normal music? And I was just like, what's the normal music that's going to come on? And it is just like the most generic, like, you know, in Invincible Kimmy Schmidt, when Titus Andromedon plays music at her party and he's like, I hit that bit with a bat. I hit that bit with a bat.
Speaker: No, I don't, but I believe you. Yeah, it's like, and he's just like dancing. It's really, well, he pulls out a CD that he had with him, which is again, 2003, like only in 2003. Of course. To put in the boombox. In his giant cargo pants.
Speaker: Yeah, and starts to dance with her on the roof. And like at first you think it's sweet before we realize what kind of person he is. Yeah. Yeah. You think it's sweet for like a long time until the whole shit with D goes down. um Yeah. Like it starts getting a little weird the way that he starts interacting with Michael to like a point where you're just like, oh, is this going a coming of age like bisexuality story?
Speaker: obviously flirting with Michael. He keeps telling Michael to call his parents. Michael's playing Romeo in Romeo and Juliet. yeah And he's like, you know, you gotta get your parents to come out here. He's like I don't talk to my parents. I don't live with my parents. like And this straight boy's like, why? don't get it. You should talk to your parents. On top of that, I think that same conversation, he says, so you're gay, right? Have you ever tried that? He says, you're a gay. He says, so you're a gay? So you're a gay. Have you tried sleeping with a woman? no he says, have you have you ever experimented with heterosexuality?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. um And then he takes his shirt off and shows him his vagina bones. Yeah, or as they're colloquially known, cum gutters. No, they're not known as that. They're not. I hate that.
Speaker: I knew she was going to do that. Cum gutters. She always does. And Michael. Don't like to disappoint Michael freaks out and then Vlad's like, your parents. Yep. yeah your Romeo.
Speaker: Yep. And then we have this bit with, where Ellen is talking to him and she's like, you know, my dad said, said, you want to be an actress? You really think you're prettier than five million girls?
Speaker: Right? You're not even the prettiest one in your class. Right? Like, he couldn't just, like, be like, yeah, of course I'll take you to acting class, honey. Like, she wasn't asking for the moon. She wasn't asking to move to New York. She was just asking to go to acting class. She wasn't asking for the exorbitant tuition for Stage Door Manor upstate New York. She said, can have one extracurricular, Dad?
Speaker: Which is then I did have a moment where I was thinking about the the logistics for Michael. And I was just like, okay, so I have to assume that his parents already paid for this camp. Because if his parents kicked him out and, like, weren't talking to him anymore, how did he afford date for? It's of prom.
Speaker: Yeah, it's because of prom. He started living with his sister after prom, but they had already paid for that kind for the camp at that point, I think. Yeah, and it was his happy place. Yeah. um Then we have... um the best performance in the musical probably. Yes. um Jill is playing Joanne in company. Because of course. Oh my God. Because of course she is. And Fritzie poisons her with bleach, which- Could have killed her. yeah yeah But instead just makes her throw up and she's like performing her heart out and then she just turns around to throw up a few times and you're like girls trying to keep it together. um Yeah. she's She's honestly a real professional about it. yeah And again like
Speaker: If any character in musical theater is going to throw up in between lines of a song, Joanne in Ladies Who Lunch is one of them. It could have been a character. Absolutely. Yeah. And then you get Jill who runs in and the camp director and the director guy. Bert Hanley. The famous Bert Hanley. The famous Bert Hanley. are talking about, they're like, what do we do? Do we stop the show? Like, what do we do? And she comes up she's like, oh, I heard that you guys were just like so worried about the show. She's in full costume. She's got her martini glass. And Haley's like, okay, all right. Like, just cut it out. She says, you conniving little bitch. She says, please, I'm a child.
Speaker: Right? So funny. So funny. And then she says, my She's fucked. I'm ready. Yes. Save the speech from She's fucked. I'm ready. And the goddamn show must go on.
Speaker: And then she fucking crashes it. Fucking crashes it. And then she goes on stage and burns it fucking down. Yes. She throws Joel off stage and there's glass shattering and boxes breaking. And then she... yeah destroys it. just yeah And then also like crushes a glass mid note and then forces, bullies everybody in the audience to stand up.
Speaker: Well, I mean, the line is everybody rise, but I think the, I don't necessarily know if it's like, I guess maybe it's, it's supposed to be a little bit of both where it's like the power of this performance is like getting people to be like, Oh, well she said rise. So I guess we should rise. or if it's just her aggressive personality. think a lot of it's her aggressive personality. yeah She's a scary little girl.
Speaker: And that's what the guy, and that's what Burt Hanley tells her. says, you're a scary little girl. you he like you He's like, you're very intense in the ensemble. Are you like, is everything okay? Yeah. yeah He's like, is everything okay?
Speaker: He's like, you're a scary little girl and I think you can do anything. And that inspires her to poison her. Poison. Yes. Yes. Yeah. um oh my god um and then i said she's a star she gets a standing o yeah um then we have romeo and juliet and michael um sees that his parents aren't there and so then he goes into the monologue from the end of uh west side story for some reason Because he freaks out and he's just like, well, fuck it. I might as well just, you know, not do Romeo and do what everybody assumes I'm going to do, which is call out to Romeo, to West Side Story, baby. Which is freak out. now Freak out a la musical theater style.
Speaker: And he runs away and then Vlad finds him. um And he tells him that his father told him he deserved to get beaten up. Yeah. And he talks about, this is when he says he projected himself out of it and he projected himself here to camp.
Speaker: Yeah. And this is when Vlad tells him that he has he has OCD and he has to take um medicine for it. Yep. Teenage Prozac junkie. yeah Yeah. And he's just like, your problems sound so relatable.
Speaker: you being beat up as as um as a youthful gay is the same as my OCD. And yeah the the OCD that he describes. So...
Speaker: Disclaimer for the for the listeners at home. I yeah have OCD. um So this is relatable. so this is So me and Vlad are actually very similar in a lot of ways. Love I've learned OCD.
Speaker: We both got into theater um because we auditioned to show to try to get closer to a girl and then really got inspired with the with the with the light of theater inside us. The OCD that he describes is...
Speaker: um every time he hears a sentence or letters, he has to reflexively count them and add them up and then add them up backwards.
Speaker: And that's, it's it's very funny, which like, I don't know. That could be real. That could real affliction. it real. But it's like that, that to me is a, that's like a, that's like a Coke.
Speaker: That's like a coping thing you do to, to like shroud thoughts that are going on in your brain. yeah yeah Yeah. That's like a, like a, a method to, uh, oh, what's it even called?
Speaker: Mask. Mask. But it's like, there's a specific name for, um,
Speaker: Oh, it's it's like comp it's a compulsion. It's a compulsion. Oh, yeah, it's a compulsion. Yeah, it's a compulsion. Where, like, the the real the real, like... um trauma of of his OCD is whatever is happening that he's doing those numbers to to cover up or to deal with. which is like the numbers But it's presented as like the numbers themselves are like, he's like, isn't it so fucked that I count all the time? so good at math. crazy. Yeah.
Speaker: like it's like craz I bet what happened was the writer of this movie, like, you know, talked to somebody with OCD and they described that as something and he's like, oh, okay, I'll use that book exactly. And he wrote that in there, but didn't get the the background or the depth of it. He's just like, I gotta give this straight wipe away something.
Speaker: Yeah. It comes off as so... tone deaf yeah just the way that he's like it's kind of the same we're we're the same amount of fucked up we yeah we're the same amount of fucked up you're gay and get beat up by people who are homophobic and your dad hates you because you're gay and like i ah count letters yeah and nobody knows the same nobody knows the just the teenage prozac junkie man like yeah all right i take pills drugeeing drug behavior i guess man yeah yeah i it's real 2003 it's real right it's very 2003 yeah very 2003 um so it's michael's birthday and they um it seems that vlad organized this birthday surprise where everyone dresses in drag except for vlad didn't he participate
Speaker: Fucking coward. Exactly. My thoughts. Exactly. i was like, everybody else is doing it. Vlad. Why are you standing up in the corner? If Vlad was in drag, this movie would have been at least two to three times better. Just like objective score wise, I think. Exactly. 1000%. I wonder if the actor refused to do it. Like, i wonder if it was. That's what it feels like. kind of Yeah. And then much like, much like the actress who played Schmitty in your college production uh,
Speaker: Of how to succeed in business without really trying. How succeed in He was just like, no, I'm not going to do that. And they're like, okay, fine. We'll get somebody else. Yeah, we'll get somebody else. We'll give we'll give all the the better lines to somebody else. And then they do. Or maybe they did a hair and makeup and he looked too good. It was like a Troye Savant situation where it's like. Don't bring up that little fish bitch, okay? It's like.
Speaker: we can't we can't unleash this onto the world that he couldn't unsee yeah they like they can't do this we we have to make this michael scene we can't make this vlad scene so we can't have vlad looking better than everybody else because robin de jesus has cystic acne and it's 2003 yeah yeah um anyway so um ah anyway so This is, oh yeah, so they have some original songs, so which are written by Michael Gore and Lynn Ahrens. No blame will be rested on the wonderful name of Lynn Ahrens. I'm sure she did all she could. Yep.
Speaker: The songs suck. They're terrible and make no sense. There's quite bad. There's three of them. Mm-hmm. um ah The first one is this song that he is singing that supposedly Vlad, that it seems that Vlad wrote. And then the drunk bald guy hears him singing and then has this explosive monologue at all of them yeah where he says...
Speaker: you know It's not normal what goes on here. The theater is dead. You missed it. Bob Fosse is dead. Yes. um ah Times Square is an amusement park. Times Square is an amusement park. F-slur hags. Teenage F-slur hags become adult F-slur hags. Yes. Straight boys, stay straight, and it's not going to help you in the real world. You're going to have All you're going to have is a collection of out-of-print original cast to help them. Yep.
Speaker: Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Vlad follows him to his room and yells at him and is like, you can't treat people that way. That guy, the drunk guy pukes on him yeah and Vlad finds the sheet music for some deeply mediocre songs. ah Not even mediocre. Like, they're just not good. I remember watching this and a friend of mine in high school, we were in choir and theater together. he was like, oh yeah, Sentry Plant. Sentry Plant's so good. I love Sentry Plant. And I'm like, hey, do you have ears?
Speaker: Hey, do you wanna come play? Come and play the game. What game? like What the fuck are we talking about? The game of life?
Speaker: Every single one. I'm so confused. they repeat that chorus approximately 26 times in a row. Yeah. um There's a lot of vamping in this, which is, um it it gets tiresome. Yeah. It's what you do when you have any more song.
Speaker: Yeah. So flas hung yeah Vlad puts together a bunch of the kids and and the band is like, yeah, I'll do it. yeah Because he's apparently like this famous composer and he hasn't written anything in years. And so he has this sheet music that he stole from him. Yep.
Speaker: And they put together a little group in a barn playing the song and they, he hears it. And at first he's like, Oh, I'm drunk and leaves. And then he comes back and joins in on the piano and they're all singing this extremely bad song. Yeah. Which is about, um I don't even, I couldn't even tell you. There's a lot of tales of people that are walking. i don't know. The idea is that it's it like, you,
Speaker: hey, do you want to come out and play the game? It's never too late. I guess the idea is that it's about like, it's not too late to get back into theater. It's not too late to like do what you want to love. yeah Do what you love, even though you haven't done it in a while, I guess. The first verse is all like, this man was 84 until he... This woman was 64 when she started yeah walking. yeah yeah like It's bad, though. Whatever they're trying to say, it's bad. just doesn't it's just doesn't make sense. like um
Speaker: yeah We have another... desperate scene where this man, like anytime he's on camera, it's just flailing. Just him flailing. He's, he is flailing. He has another scene where he has to act. um The more normal we try to make them, the more lonely and isolated they're going to feel, which is true. it's so true.
Speaker: And then they play snow patrol before they got big um over a montage of rehearsing all of these songs. So they have this like showcase at the end of the year,
Speaker: um where a bunch of like a bunch of famos come out to watch and um they decide to do all Burt Hanley music like these new songs yeah and then Michael decides to have sex with Dee for some reason because because because Vlad said hey you ever um experiment with heterosexuality because I bet you'd be a playa does that like speak a little Spanish do a little whatever it's it's I think it's to make Vlad jealous. That's why he's done it. It's because he's in love with Vlad and he's trying to do like a or he's trying to be like, can't have bla Vlad. Vlad is straight. I can't. yeah Like it's not, it's like a, it's like an overcorrection.
Speaker: Yeah, he's trying to overcorrect. Of being like, yeah, I'm okay. Well, do I really want to be ah like without my parents and um lonely and um without like any sort of happiness? Because it's 2003 and I'm gay. um yeah So I might as well just go. And for a second, for second, I thought that this like... little look exchange as he's like looking at d and d's looking at vlad and ellen i thought it was that d is in love with ellen and i was like oh and he and like like recognizes like and so like would have been more interesting would have been way more interesting but then but then i forgot that it it goes to him going hola chica yeah yeah and she's like the unvenidos
Speaker: um bienvenidos um saludos amigos um it's it's pretty cringe um so they fuck um the only person who has sex in this the only people who have sex in this movie are ah gay guy and a straight woman apparently all she dates are gay men yeah which like i mean also very real also real so real um then like vlad does get jealous because he's a sociopath yeah um and runs to find d even though he's dating ellen runs to find d d is drawing michael in her notebook which is just very sad like just yeah and she's like little hearts around his curly hair
Speaker: Like she doesn't know he's gay. And then he goes, Vlad goes to kiss her to prove he's straight, it seems. And then like they start making out. And of course Ellen comes in because it's her room. they're roommates. Ellen and- ah i D you messy bitch. Right? And you're just like, what the- They're all stupid. They're all stupid.
Speaker: This is definitely what theater camp was like. oh I didn't go to theater camp. But my theater undergrad was just like this. Shifting sexualities, people sleeping with people that they don't even like. Like, it's all... Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. It's unfortunately pretty realistic. like trying to prove that you're straight by making out with someone being like, yeah, I'm totally straight. Yeah.
Speaker: you See? Like, listen, you don't, you can, you can make out with anybody and you should. Yeah, exactly. It's got nothing to do with sexuality. You don't have to do that to prove that you're straight.
Speaker: You can do it if you're gay. You can do it if you're bi. You can do whatever you want with your mouth. People can and should make out with anyone they want and have consent from. was to say, you can anything with your mouth except cannibalism.
Speaker: yeah And if you get consent for that, that could be okay too. That could be okay too. It's all about consent, guys. It's all about consent. Here at Go Get Your Girl, we love consent.
Speaker: um ah I said this kind of mess is very accurate for theater kids in my yeah experience yeah unfortunately one gajillion percent then the the girl with her jaw wired shut's parents come to insult her some more yeah the dad is thought that you like having your jaw wired shut all summer would make you more skinny and and she's just like cause like she goes up with we you assume her roommate who has one line in the film which is look at how great she looks doesn't she look great yeah And he's just like, thought you were skinnier. Please, please, please be nice. Please be nice. yeah Right?
Speaker: Right? and And he's just like, yeah that's it. you We're keeping this, your jaw wired shut throughout the fall. Like, there will be no milkshakes. won't be sneaking milkshakes around me. Also, like, bro's big, dude.
Speaker: Like, like it's so it's so classic, though. It's so classic. And she's also not that big. she's out she's tall, and she's got like a wider frame, but like, she's not like seriously overweight or anything like it's it's not like a health hazard in any way shape or form it's just her natural shape and he's just but that's like early 2003 just like toxic it is di but like also music theater musical theater has a place for big girls like 100 she she's gonna kill she's gonna do just fine she's gonna get cast and left right especially after we hear her sing and then you're just like
Speaker: whoa okay we had this girl with her jaw wired shut this entire movie with pipes like that hello and then you listen to the song and you're just like okay well can we get the song over with I mean like it sounds really great but like the words like why are we what are we saying here yeah um Again, no shade on Lynn Ahrens. You're a treasure. yeah um I'm sure you did your best. yeah um Then we get a Stephen Sondheim hero shot like he's fucking Superman. Yes!
Speaker: Like, just a schlubby little Stephen Sondheim wearing khakis and like a tucked in dress shirt. Like, foot up to head shot like he's, you know, Henry Cavill or something. It's crazy. It's so good. And everyone freaks out as they would, as I would, that Steven Sondheim was there. Yes, yes. They go, Steve! And also, glazed over the best, I would say, the runner-up for best performance in the movie, which is the top number.
Speaker: yeah. The fucking tap number with the little boy and then the tap instructor who in my, I'm pretty sure I need to look at this up, but I'm 85 to 90% sure that he's a famous tap dancer.
Speaker: ah Probably like he has a, he has two like kind of featured scenes. So my guess is he's probably a famous tap dancer. like i think I remember from taking tap when we had to do like a history of tap session.
Speaker: History of tap. That. I remember seeing bits are with him. And, like, yeah i'm I'm, like, 85 to 90% sure. Yeah. um ah This is when Ellen screams, there's no such thing as bisexuality. And that is, like, not taken as a ridiculous line. It's, like,
Speaker: It's taken as like, oh yeah, that's true. That's how it's written. This is in the middle of a of a ah ah D, Vlad, Ellen, Michael breakdown in the makeup room because as they're getting ready and Vlad is like,
Speaker: You know, Ellen is so mad at him because she caught him making out with Dee and Dee's on the other side they're being real stony to each other. And Vlad's like, can you pass the the base, Ellen? And she like yeah slams it on his makeup table and he's like, the ba geez, guys, this energy is really toxic.
Speaker: Right. And then this this little Eastern European looking blonde girl walks into the the the dressing room and says, Vlad? Vlad? She's had as much acting experience as Bert Hanley or whatever his name is. It it looks it genuinely looks like her lines were were' recorded and then- Were 80-yard? 80-yard in. yeah like Yeah. Yeah. It's very- She's like, can we go somewhere like private? and And you're like, this bitch about to drop a bomb on him. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah yeah And then, oh, he walks and gives her a little smooch. And then she and he turns around like. And like, there's not a big deal. Sorry, guys. It's not a big deal. And everyone's like, I'm sorry, what the fuck just happened? What the fuck is that? Right? it's You have a girlfriend? It seems like maybe some of this script was rewritten or something because he is such a villain. Yes. So evil, genuinely.
Speaker: He has no issue with the fact that his girlfriend... Yeah. He's like, oh, that's my girlfriend. What? like we're not and And then Ellen has a scene with him where she's like, he's like, you didn't ask me if I had a girlfriend. Like, this is camp. This is what happens at camp, right? And she's like, no i I should have... You're saying I should have assumed you have a girlfriend because you're hot. And I'm supposed to assume that I don't have a boyfriend because I'm not hot. That I'm not pretty enough to have a boyfriend. Yeah. And he's like...
Speaker: Yeah. Well, and sorry yeah and she says, she even says, she's just like, if I had a boyfriend, I would, you know, I would have told you about it.
Speaker: I wouldn't have waited for you to ask me about it. I would have just straight up told you. And you didn't do that. You think I should have asked? Yeah. And what what was going to happen when we went home? Like, were were you just going to, like, ghost me? like Yeah, because they live nearby. Yeah, everybody lives in New York from what I'm gathering here. Because they take the bus off.
Speaker: Jill and Fritzie are in the makeup thing. And yeah Jill is breaking out. And she turns to Fritzie and is like, you sabotaged my makeup. And she's like, no, I didn't. And then Jill pounces on her. And then we get this line where there's, like,
Speaker: Fritzie has multiple fractures and Jill, um Jill's face looks like she's got leprosy or something. They can't go on. I love that. Like Jill just killed her. Jill straight up killed her. they yeah She got away with no extra injuries. The only comment is on her face.
Speaker: They are not in the rest of the movie. They are not even in the montage at the end. They are gone. They're just straight up gone. So they cut the wires on the the girl's mouth. With wires from the set from construction area. Bucket. The set construction bucket.
Speaker: Yeah, she's going to get a hideous infection. She's going an end And she starts singing this song, which I think is called Take a Stand or something like that. I think it's Here's Where I Stand.
Speaker: Or Here's Where I Stand. yeah And says it like 18,000 times. It's very clearly written for this moment, for this character to sing to her parents. yeahp Like it does not make sense in a musical. no And also I thought Jill and Fritzie were going to sing this. Is that what we're led to believe? Like that doesn't make any sense. Or did we just have something in our back pocket just in case yeah that we wanted girl with the wire shut? She keeps she keeps vamping and like this guy comes out to like get her like she's James Brown. He puts a blanket over her. He's like, come on back. She's like, no, I'm not finished. And she goes back out and sings a little more and he goes and grabs her and pulls her off stage again. ah
Speaker: um Sondheim invites Burt to a party. Yep. um that's that And that's it. He lives through his teeth. He says, excellent performances. Loved all the songs. They were all really good. And i yeah think you've still got it. Yeah. And I think you should come to this party. Yeah. And i think I'm going to revive your career with these songs that don't make any sense.
Speaker: Yeah. And then we cut to... The worst scene in the entire movie. um Michael is by the lake, the pond. Yep.
Speaker: Post-performance, him and Ellen are going to, like, go swimming or whatever. Yeah. And then Vlad pulls up. Yep. um And this is just... I just... This... I don't even know what they were going for.
Speaker: With the end of this movie, I don't know what it's... It just feels like they gave up Yeah. This feels like writing, this feels like writing a happy ending onto the end of the Titanic. Like it just feels, yeah, it feels exactly the end of the Dutch film. Spore loose. It's the same. It's the same shit, man. Yeah, it is. Because they're just like, oh they're like, oh yeah. So you have a girlfriend and um he goes, no, not anymore. She broke up with me. That's why she came up on the bus by herself at age 16 to my performance at summer camp was to break up with me. Well,
Speaker: and Well, he pops that top off first. That's the first thing he does. Oh, he pops that top and that bottom's off. Yeah, he's like, going to go skinny dipping. um Michael, you want to join?
Speaker: Wink, wink. Michael's like breathing heavy. Right? And then he's like, what is happening? He's like, what is happening? are you confused and And Vlad's like, maybe I am a little confused. Maybe I just, maybe I don't know. Maybe I'm just flirting because I... hey ah And they almost kiss, but don't.
Speaker: yeah And then Michael's like, you have to stop this, whatever is happening. yeah And then he's like, I guess I was just trying to, he's like, I'm sorry. i i was trying to give you what you want. I just love attention. Yep.
Speaker: um call Which is true. dog yeah Which is also what he told Ellen. He was just like the only reason why, i think the only reason why like I asked you out or why i started hooking with du is because I thought that it would make you happy.
Speaker: Which is sociopath behavior. He's not fucked up. It's not his fault. He's just a middle child. He just wants to make everybody happy. Yeah. He's just middle child. He really does. And
Speaker: this is when, oh yeah, yeah. So, um he Ellen shows up to swim with Michael and he's like, hey, Ellen, you want to go out sometime? And Ellen Who apparently was was poisoned by Fritzie and has some kind of brain damage. Yep. Goes, yeah, I'll go out with you. And Michael's like, what the fuck? And she's like, I have to hang out with boys who don't wear dresses. And he's like, okay. And everyone's just like, I guess this is fine now.
Speaker: This movie is wrapped up with a bow. Which, like, I can't. guess when you're 16 like that there's parts of that that that makes sense but like this it's very toxic it's so like that's that could happen but why is that what we're going for this is a they go and swim and then the title comes up and it's like camp and it's like oh it's over yeah and then it's over that's wild well we have to assume that they had a three-way I mean maybe maybe they have a threesome like we can only hope but yeah this movie for trying to do what it's doing like for like having such a prominent gay character in a in a teen movie in 2003 on its own was a big deal like yeah there it just didn't happen in at least mainstream movies and I mean guess this isn't a mainstream movie but still still um then we cut to a post credits um or a credit scene of a curtain call uh credits which I love to see in a movie we love it when there's a um a curtain call credit scene as I call them yep um Where they're singing the 1989 Todd Rundgren song, For Want of a Nail. Yep. Which manages to both suck and blow at the same time. Yep. It's amazing. anyway It really puts the emphasis on how nonsensical the lyrics are, to which you're like, what?
Speaker: Well, it's not a musical theater song. Yeah. It's like ah it's like a rock song that they've turned into Godspell for some yeah reason. Why why can't we just Godspell? And they they probably couldn't get the rights. We only had rights for some the songs. They wanted to do Day by Day, but Wet Hot American Summer had already wheezed on that juice, I think the same year. Probably.
Speaker: Day by day. We have to Wet Hot American Summer. That's a perfect movie. and That movie is so good. Gee, I'm assuming you haven't seen What Hot American Summer. not seen American Summer. This is going to be one of those millennial culture things where don't know if you're going to think it's funny. And if you don't, like, I just need you to pretend that you do because I'll die otherwise. For sure. For sure. It's perfect. I'm in touch. It's the 25th anniversary of What Hot American Oh, God.
Speaker: I know. So it was before this then. Yeah. yeah they They're re-releasing it in theaters. Oh, hell yes. Yeah. Yeah. Because nobody saw it. It's like this movie. Like, it didn't come out in theaters. Nobody saw it. Nobody saw it. Yeah. Yeah. um But that's not this movie. This movie, they sing this song, and they have everybody on stage except for Jill and Fritzie. Jill and Fritzie!
Speaker: Who have killed one another. Which is so funny. We assume they're dead in ditch. This is This is like an out of universe like dance dream sequence at the end. Like, why are they still dead? They're not there. It cuts to stock footage of the two of them.
Speaker: But everybody else is on stage. and then um ah And then there's some credits. And then there's the first post-credits scene, which is Anna Kendrick and some little boy doing Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? The first scene of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.
Speaker: Like, one more. you got me a a final time. ah and then at the at the very end of the of the movie, post the end of the credits, there is a drag queen dressed like Barbra Streisand talking about the camp in, like, a documentary thing. well He's like, yeah, there weren't enough boys, so we did Annie, but we changed it. I did Annie, but we changed it to Andy. And that's...
Speaker: Incredible. hey i don't know if that's just something that they had to cut out that they decided to put back in as just a little Easter egg or something or what. I mean, maybe if this whole thing had been like this mockumentary where they had talking heads of these kids when they were adults looking back on their careers, maybe that's what it was. That would have been great. That would have been a really good lens to do this. Honestly, that would have, that would have, I think, solved a lot of the issues. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker: Um, ah there's a movie called theater camp that came out a couple of years ago, which is honestly like better than this movie in every way. Yeah, it is. It's about the people who run the theater camp instead of about the actual kids. Yeah. Um, but it hits a lot of the same like notes and like themes and everything. And it's, it's really quite good. That's the one with fear of enhancing, right?
Speaker: Um, yes. Oh god, is Ben Platt in it Yeah, Ben Platt. Ben Platt is in it, but he's fine. He's not playing a teenager. hate Ben Platt.
Speaker: It's not his fault. It is his fault. I find him incredibly unlikable.
Speaker: I need to, it's been on my list to watch that movie. And I think that like, because of camp, I just like, I couldn't bring myself to watch it. But I think, I think now that I've rewatched camp, i can do it again. We can let the, we can let the past go.
Speaker: we can let it know Except this movie for what it was and what it did for us. With the want of the nail. Were you? I feel like Gio was trying to go into what I did for love there, but I wasn't sure. oh
Speaker: kiss I did what I had to do. Yeah. yeah Yep. Um, ah yeah. So I think that's camp. Is there any, yeah anything else? Gia, anything else you wanted to to mention about camp?
Speaker: Um, let me look at my notes. I think that's, that's kind of, it's just like, like the whole, I have to, at some point have to hang out with boys who don't wear dresses. just undercuts the whole movie it just strips the whole soul out from everything it makes Robin DeJesus' character not important anymore completely invalidated yeah yeah 100% she's just like I guess I can't I can't be your lavender wife I can't I can't I can't do that um and yeah I do have one last little Emma's fun facts Emma's fun facts um
Speaker: Uh, this movie was on such a shoestring budget that they, so they rehearsed for, I want to say like a month, maybe less than in New York, um, with all the little teeny boppers. And, uh, Anna Kendrick said that, um, they didn't have enough money cause they had to house everyone. It was non-union shoot. It was a non-union film. um and and so right and so they didn't have enough money to house everybody so basically anna kendrick was staying with two other people and sleeping in a pantry at this apartment during rehearsals not surprising at age 16 um yeah yeah because like that's just what it was and i guess she was the teeniest of tiniest so yeah i mean like andry
Speaker: She is very small. Yes. She's one of those 16 year olds that could be 12, you know? She's like so old. Oh, 100%. Yeah. She's so little and yeah she just, she, she still looks young. I mean, like she's in her forties now. yeah she's yeah she yeah She's a little, a little bit of baby, but. um Yeah. So Emma, what are we doing next week? Next week, we're going to continue on with like a um a little, so well, it's and I guess it's not summer, but I guess a little back to school fabulousness. um Okay. We're going to the Hilary Duff fabulousness. That is a Cinderella story. Hell yeah. Yeah. Chad Michael Murray. Michael Murray. Oh my God. What's her name from White Lotus? Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know. don't know either. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. um ah What's her name? You look like the 4th of July. Yeah. You want a hot dog real bad? Jennifer Coolidge. Jennifer Coolidge. Yes.
Speaker: oh wow is she in that yes she's the evil stepmother oh my god yeah yeah i'm so excited i haven't watched this movie in ages and i'm gonna for sure yeah make charlie watch this one um my goal was to make him watch this one and experience it with me but um he had stupid video games to play so um i missed out on the fabulousness that is so he's not gonna be so lucky next week sorry charlie yep uh shall we outro Let's outro.
Speaker: Do it to it, baby.
Speaker: Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Girl. If you like us, tell your friends. And please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It helps a lot. It helps out a lot. And we would really appreciate it. Thanks to Andrew Milliken and Nick Svoboda for the music and Elena Henderson for our artwork.
Speaker: You can follow us on Instagram at gogetyourgirlpod or email us at gogetyourgirlpod at gmail. You can follow me on social media at emilympizza. Gia, where can people find you?
Speaker: Emma's not alone this time. can find me at Gia Zakadesh. That's G-I-A-S-Z-E-K-E-R-E-S on Instagram. Yeah.
Speaker: And not Katie. Sorry. Not Katie. It's for her good. Yeah, yeah. Understandable. It is. You can only find me there about every other week because I could ah routinely delete and reinstall the app.
Speaker: Smart. Smart. Wow. Until next time, we're just three girls standing in front of the internet asking it to love us. To love us. Good night. Good night. Thank you, Gia. Thanks, Gia. No problem. Yeah.
