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Star Warshammer 4000 (Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War Book 1 - Part 2)
406 Plays2 months ago
Little too much Star Wars in this chunk. And like not the good kind. Does that make sense?
Book Synopsis
The Bone Ravens, Space Marine warriors with near superhuman strength, are sent to destroy the planet Cyrene and its heretical populace, but one of the warriors, Brother-Captain Angelos, is faced with a difficult choice because Cyrene is his own native world.
https://nogamesforgenocide.com
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Transcript
Introduction to the Pixel It podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
One of these days, go to you know, get the stud finder out and find the studs and put in the lag bolts and and hang the thing on the wall. and and the And you know what else is a lag bolt?
00:00:14
Speaker
What's that? Hey there, everybody. Welcome back to Pixel It. My name is Kevin. With me, it's always this film. And on today's show, ah Warhammer part 20,000.
Confusion over Warhammer's characters
00:00:22
Speaker
Feels that way, doesn't Feels that
00:00:27
Speaker
part twenty thousand um that why feels that way i I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty glazed over when i amm when I'm reading this book. there is There are so many characters and I'm getting them confused. And I'm like the Eldar and the Chaos guys and the guys who are like dabbling in Chaos but not Chaos yet.
00:00:54
Speaker
Yeah. The guys who might go to Chaos and then the Bloodravens and the Orcs.
Critique of Chaos Marines and Alpha Legion
00:01:03
Speaker
are not in this part anymore but they were but they were yeah and are they dead we don't know um yeah and there's like it's a bunch of characters and none of them are really that distinct none of them stand out No, the Eldar all talk the same way.
00:01:22
Speaker
The space Marines all talk the same way. The chaos Marines all, it's all the same. yeah The chaos Marines are like mustache twirling. Yeah. the The orcs were distinct a little bit more, yeah but the chaos Marines are all like, yeah, the chaos Marines are all the mustache twirling, like villains. Oh I just like, im as a fan of the Alpha Legion, I'm just getting more and more pissed. Like, my god yeah, when you're playing Dawn of War and and and you notice when you're playing against it, you're like, oh, this is the Alpha Legion. That's weird.
00:01:58
Speaker
But that's about the extent
Patreon promotion and Danish counting humor
00:02:00
Speaker
of it. It's not really, you know, that that's. But now that we're getting into the nitty gritty of it, you realize just how little sense it makes. Yep.
00:02:09
Speaker
Yep. ah Alpha Legion in name only. Yes. Alino. Alino. I like Alino. um You know where you can hear quippy quips like that all the time is on patreon.com slash Plexalipod where you can sign up to give us money ah for for what we do. You don't have to give us money. You can join for free. You can also just hop into our Discord for free and and and join the party over there. But if you are so inclined, if you are a money haver and would like to also be a money giver, We have three tiers. $1 gets you in the door with the early ad-free version of the episode when we're not late.
00:02:56
Speaker
ah And it also gives you Phil's blog. $2 times two and a half, which is $5, gets you access to the bonus episode where before we record before every... By the way, did you know that's like how the Danish count is by... is like they They have numbers. They have like...
00:03:15
Speaker
two they They actually use like two and a half in their counting system. for Anyway, that's a side thing. Half for each one or just two? because i did did Forget about it. It's a whole thing. okay It's a whole thing. shouldn't have brought it up right now. um This is our show. This is our show in a nutshell. I love it.
00:03:38
Speaker
but And $10 gets your name shouted out in in in the beginning of every episode. And to that end, I'd like to thank End Your Hiding, Song 85, Jesus Loves You, Kyle Seaman, Ruth Smutter, Middle Thing, Sigma Sal, Sanguine Flatulence, Chet Beaks, Dummy, Thick and Friendly Friend. Thank you so much for being a friend.
00:03:57
Speaker
Patreon.com slash PixelitPod. do it today. um Yeah, the Danes, they have a thing with their numbers. And I saw a video on it and I was like, what the fuck? And I posted it to a to a discord and I was like, is this the thing? And then we like figured out it has to do with like counting sheep or something weird like that. um Huh.
00:04:22
Speaker
But it is, they do it, they say one, one and a half, two, two and a No, no, no, they go one, two, three, four, five. It's just that when you get to the bigger numbers, like 50, it's like 50 isn't just 50, it's something like 50.
00:04:37
Speaker
You say like 20 times two and a half or something like that. Oh, okay. Or something weird. that's Danish friends, please tell me if I'm wrong, but I think i I'm recalling this. ah it is it is the It is Danish. um
00:04:56
Speaker
or is that i would I would love to learn. Or was it Dutch? I don't know. Was this racist? Nah. They're right next to each other. They're like right there. I don't know. I have a hard time worrying about whether I'm I think it was Danish, but it might have been Dutch. You know what?
00:05:15
Speaker
Now I'm thinking it's Dutch. Dutch. Okay. Okay. All right, Danish. All right, Danes. Your Viking blood heritage is clean for the time being when it comes to math.
00:05:26
Speaker
When it comes to math, it's, it's, um, yeah, Danish. I was, I was right the first time. Yeah. Oh, wasn't Danish. Oh, left to ah forget everything I said. You filthy Vikings.
00:05:40
Speaker
No, no cleanness on you. ah God. Um, I don't want to get in between the nords the Nordic people and their and they' they're ah legacy of of hating each other. Yeah, that's true. they They do it so well. They do it so well. It's not my circus.
00:06:01
Speaker
and I'm Irish. what do i What am I going to do? Get conquered? yeah Yeah, I got it.
Discussion on Inquisitor Toth's character
00:06:13
Speaker
Christ. Yeah. Yeah. So ah what are we talking about? God of War 30,000. We do need to get into God of War. we do but and I'm not going to go off on that, but but there we've talked about this. There are a couple of books we need to we really should get into that one.
00:06:30
Speaker
I'm looking for an excuse to play the remake again. Yeah, um yeah, dawn of war. da don of data Yeah, that's this body in the marsh.
00:06:43
Speaker
she's march Let's do it. When I tell you to dump a body in the marsh, you dump them in the marsh. up ah We are at part two, chapter five. ah It opens with Gabriel and Isidore welcoming Inquisitor um Toth ah to, he said, who basically very promptly ah says, you guys got to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. You're done with this place. It's, yeah shit's shit's fucked up.
00:07:15
Speaker
yeah You're not going to fix it. Let's go. Yeah. and he does. And of course he does it in the most, you know, piece of shit Inquisitor way he possibly can, which is just, that's their MO. You got, I can't believe that Gabe Isidore aren't used to it at this point. Oh, by the way, Inquisitor Toth is the most like Star Wars ass name yep I've heard in Warhammer. And it's quite a bit. That's some stiff lord shit. No, you're absolutely right. Yeah.
00:07:46
Speaker
That's some Darksaber shit. that's Yeah, that's The Inquisitor Toth worked for Vader when they were hunting down the final Jedi in between episodes three and four. Exactly. He's the Emperor's hand. No question. No question about it.
00:08:04
Speaker
What's his first name? Mordecai. Mordecai Toth, which is just... swimming in biblical biblical mordecai to yeah in star wars he would be like something like i don't know like fucking labubu yeah yeah just terrible names terrible names uh
00:08:29
Speaker
just terrible names terrible names ah ah We cut to a group of traitor guardsmen. and They have found a sacrificial table and they get into a firefight with the Eldar. A sergeant ah among the ah heretical traitor guardsmen gains a quote unquote mark of corn in the ah guise of a mutated arm.
00:08:54
Speaker
Cool. Cool. Yeah, but this is the last we'll hear of it.
00:09:00
Speaker
For the at least for the rest of part two. ah yeah Yeah, exactly. yeah The rest of part two is is investigating this scene from like 15 different points of view.
00:09:11
Speaker
Yes. It's not nearly as interesting as as ah as as it sounds. yeah ah We cut back to Toth. He's explaining that a warp storm is coming and they need to go, that the warp storm is going to kick this planet's ass and it'll take care of their little chaos or problem. ah So there's no sense in in sticking around, which is which is, as Gabriel ah points out, kind of a weird thing for an inquisitor to say. Since when has somebody from the Inquisition ah preferred that nature take care of the heretics rather than ah you know the emperor's mighty chosen ones? right um
00:09:49
Speaker
So ah Gabe wants to to, he's Gabe in all my notes, by the way. gabebe Gabe wants to take out the, ah he wants to take out chaos, who he thinks are in quote unquote cahoots With the Orcs. I was going to text you when I read that. was like, Cahoots is this the word i would have I would not have bet on Cahoots showing up. boots It was like, what is this? Like a 1930s Raymond Chandler novel? Yeah, he's in Cahoots. They're in Cahoots with the Orcs, Yeah.
00:10:29
Speaker
It's it is. There are a lot of there are, you know, anyone who reads from the Black Library knows that there are a lot of five dollar words in these books. ah Cahoots is not one of them.
00:10:44
Speaker
i i did ah I was not expecting a dime novel word. yeah. the hoots So yeah, and that's and that's our and that's our captain. It's not just some guardsman saying this is Captain Gabriel. Captain Gabriel is like, well, in the in the lore of Warhammer, they're all speaking Gothic. And this is the closest word that we can translate from Gothic is cahoots. cahoots And no, there's no other way to say that. Cahoots. It's actually phonetically said the same way in Gothic. That's why. yeah cohoots
00:11:24
Speaker
So, yeah. So Gabriel and and Toth are not ah getting along. They have an angry staring contest. This won't be the last time. ah They separate and Gabriel points out they are not leaving.
Tensions between Brom and Isidore
00:11:38
Speaker
ah They they ah intend. on They have three days before the storm gets there and they intend to fuck shit up in the meantime. Isidore points out shit up. Yeah. a ri Yeah. That's exactly it.
00:11:52
Speaker
And I forgot about that. And Isidore, I've been a billion years. um So Isidore in his librarian research says that previous entries about the planet that they're on have been hidden, that there are previous entries ah prior to the arrival of humanity.
00:12:16
Speaker
but they're, they're, they're kind of eyes only in there. um We come to the Eldar who invest, investigate the sacrificial altar spot and ah wonder who uncovered it.
00:12:31
Speaker
ah We cut to Brom, our, our, our Imperial ah guard leader who is having a smoke break. He does this a lot. Poor Brom. He spent some time bitching about the Marines. Yeah.
00:12:45
Speaker
And finally, the ah the the space Marines come to him with something that he can do. They they want some insight from him on the local folklore, local folktales, anything that can give them an idea of what existed before here. ah This is also the last we will hear of this. Yeah.
00:13:04
Speaker
They're just trying to give Braum something to do. Yeah. ah They're just poor Braum. So they want his insights. ah The scouts found the altar and they found it covered in ah dead guardsmen. And ah ah they know ah that a it was ah it was another guardsman that did it. They killed they killed the ah person on the altar. One of the guys tried to offer himself up on the altar, presumably to be...
00:13:30
Speaker
you know, possessed by one of the demons or something. And, uh, and, and another guardsman shot him in the head. Yeah. And we know it was the Sergeant Sergeant Katarn, Kyle Katarn. Yeah. Kyle Katarn. Yeah. Um, who, who did it?
00:13:46
Speaker
Um, Because it's like, look here, he was shot with ah with a single LAS rifle round to the to the head. ah And his his body is like, there's like veins growing out of the stone. and into Oh, yeah. that was i was like That was a little bit cool was the description of how it's like the stone grew veins that went into him and started drinking his blood.
00:14:10
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. there is There is admittedly some metal as fuck chaos stuff in this part. I will i will give go to ah the credit for that. And that is that's that you're absolutely right. That part is cool as shit.
00:14:23
Speaker
um All right. Chapter six, the space Marines investigate the altar. Why didn't Inquisitor Toth sense chaos if this is here? Because they had asked him before. He had said, I don't i don't really sense any chaos that we need to worry about here. So ah they are suspicious ah They find a chaos bolt gun and assume that the Eldar are responsible somehow for the altar.
00:14:49
Speaker
ah The altar is filled with trapped souls and demonic shit. and they they They talk about how like you can kind of see into it and you can see that it made me think a little bit of the ah um what is the space in Beetlejuice when they open up what they think is a closet door and it's the area where all the sandworks.
00:15:08
Speaker
the sandwa Yeah, it was like with all the ghosts like staring like it's hell for the dead. Oh, I was like, that's death for the dead. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. I totally have that image in my head. It's where exorcised ghosts. Exorcised. Yeah.
00:15:25
Speaker
All the ghosts of the exorcised go into this like forgotten realm, basically. That's right. that's I mean, that's kind of, I mean, that's not. That's basically the immaterium in a nuts nutshell. Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. ah So Gabriel tells Isidore, you got an hour to examine this thing, and then we're going to blow it up.
00:15:45
Speaker
Isidore is pissed off about this because there's a lot that you can learn here if you wouldn't give me an hour deadline. ah But he agrees and and starts getting a he starts getting these psychic mental challenges from the chaos sorcerer. He's he's getting ah betrayal whispered into his ear, basically. And this is where it starts to really pick up.
00:16:06
Speaker
Um, the elder realized that they don't have any choice, but to have a three sided war on Tartarus, uh, uh, because they can't trust anybody. So they are gearing up to have to kill orcs and chaos and space brains, which is less than ideal.
00:16:24
Speaker
Um, we get a speed bike fight between the Eldar and the alpha Legion, which is, which is pretty kick-ass. Uh, we get We get a back back shot of Eldar standing on the back of of an Eldar standing on the back of one of their transports.
Warhammer's heavy metal aesthetic
00:16:43
Speaker
And then a blood aint ah blood, not a blood angel, blood raven doing the same thing on one of their transports, a rhino, which is something that I read recently. very specifically that people complained about with CS go to, he's like obsessed with the idea of having them ride the back of this vehicle. It's not enough that they're writing in it. They've got to like ride on top of it.
00:17:07
Speaker
and And it does keep happening. yeah And I wonder if I wonder, and I'm, I thought I found myself while reading this, wondering if I wasn't giving go to way too much credit with some of the the, I really started to try and justify some of this stuff. And what this made me think of was when you play Warhammer and you have a a squad in one of your transports, it's pretty common to put one of the figures on top of it to represent the squad that's inside. I'm like, this Like this is is this his. It's him nodding to like the fact that that's how you do it.
00:17:41
Speaker
Right. Right. But it's like that is it was that on or is it or is it just that he loves the old school 90s heavy metal ah ah Warhammer aesthetic? You know?
00:17:53
Speaker
Yeah. So dooo de da do yeah what's what's important is he loves watching people ride a vehicle's hood. I don't know why. he loves um He loves it. ah Gabriel Isidore argue over the route ah that they should take. And the sorcerer gets into Isidore's head about it, points saying pointing out, you know, they don't trust you.
00:18:15
Speaker
you're but You're better than him. Your dick's larger. And and and only I could tell you this. And girthier. girthier just weighty and have you seen the veins on that thing sorry sorry I've been in a mood my boyfriend left me and sorry never mind and who begin more who can love a space marine like ah no one can love a space marine like another space marine no it's true it's true I am genuinely shocked at the lack of space marine on space marine action ah that happens in these books I'm not that shocked but I'm a little shocked ah well that's shocked
00:18:51
Speaker
Um, the Eldar, uh, ambush the Marines on a mountain pass, ah and, uh, the chaos meanwhile, retreat from their fight with the Eldar and the Eldar let them go because this is, they're just, they're fighting. They're stretching themselves really thin. Uh, meanwhile, the other Eldar retreat from their fight with the Marines, uh, uh, which is pretty typical of Eldar. They, they, they like doing the hit and run, uh, shit.
00:19:17
Speaker
yeah just They know that they're made out of paper. They got to hit and leave. um So the Marines set up a base ah knowing that they must be on the right track if the Eldar are trying to stop them.
00:19:32
Speaker
ah Chapter seven. Brom is still brooding ah over how the space Marines are treating him. He's really getting close to being ah to being at ah option for the chaos guides to to take over.
00:19:48
Speaker
i kept Yeah. I'm like, why are we going after Isidore? Like he's he's alive. Go. I mean, look, I mean, i and he would be a powerful guy to get a hold of. But like this guy's over here listening to like plain white tease records and you know smoking club of cigarettes. like ah ah That's your guy. cannot name another plain white tease song other than Hey There Delilah.
00:20:10
Speaker
did No, I can't either. ah i lived with a guy in college who started an emo band yeah and and they would practice in our attic and they weren't bad, but I just, I, I'm much more positive on that stuff nowadays, but at the time I fucking hated it. Yeah.
00:20:28
Speaker
and ah And he, but he was obsessed with something corporate. That was the band he was obsessed with. So I thought for a second he covered a plain white tees, but something corporate. Anyway. How's it like in New York Dude, we were watching Sesame Street. I'm watching Sesame Street with my kid. And they do these parodies and they had a T, a letter T with a guitar doing a Hey There Delilah cover singing about being a letter T.
00:20:59
Speaker
ah and was and And it wasn't like this is kind of a pastiche of this. ah no It was a straight up cover. And it it was it. I love that. Amazing.
00:21:10
Speaker
This is I love. yeah fine writer The writers room for Sesame Street. That's got to be, you know, it's like, yeah, we're writing it for kids, but we're we're going to do some clever stuff in here, of course. Yeah.
00:21:23
Speaker
Let's have some fun with it. And they do. They do. It's not often, but every now and then on that show, they'll make a joke and I'll go, oh, that was a good joke, actually. That was good. actually That was good. Yeah. So, ah yeah, ah Brahm is is pissed. ah Gabriel ah confesses and seeks comfort from Chaplain Prathios.
00:21:43
Speaker
ah This is another underused character who's just... I guess he's just there to be a sounding board for more. I feel like you either get the light. You should either have the librarian or you have the chaplain.
00:21:55
Speaker
But yeah, not both because they both kind of occupy the same sounding board space. Yeah. In a, in a, in a chapter, like you go to the chaplain, go to the librarian, um pick one or have them opposed to each other or something. Right. But right don't have them exist in the same milieu of like, I'm, I go to this old guy for advice. Right.
00:22:23
Speaker
but Yeah, it's true. No, you're absolutely right. And it it's it's just confusing. And we don't get a lot of Prathios in this book. So it's like, why the fuck are you even here? um unless now in that Here's the thing. If you want to have your chaplain in there, you don't confess to your chaplain. Your chaplain is the... frothing madman at the front of your assault Marine squad, screaming incoherently about the emperor and getting everyone hyped up. And that's just, you see him. Like when I was in the theater and in high school, ah we had a joke ah running gag among our friends called the, the man on fire moment. And it was, there's always a point in a play where,
00:23:06
Speaker
that we wanted to have a pause in the play and a man completely engulfed in flames comes on stage screaming, hands above their head, running around screaming. And everyone just quietly, calmly watches him as he runs around circles, screaming on fire and then runs off stage. And everyone watches him go beat and then goes back to the play as if nothing happened.
00:23:29
Speaker
That was amazing. Yeah, yeah. That was a gag we would always talk about. where Where would we put this in this play? And that's what the chaplain ought to be. The chaplain isn't someone that you like hear from a shit ton. Like if he's not the main character anyway, the chaplain is just the guy that like every now and then you're like, oh God, is he rabid? is he's that That drool is going everywhere. Like his voice is hoarse from screaming and he's just covered in the blood of his enemies. These guys are fanatics. They're not...
00:24:00
Speaker
I don't think you confess to him. I've never heard of that. So
00:24:06
Speaker
um Isidore and Brom commiserate and get on each other's new nerves, basically, because they're both really proud of of ah of their backgrounds and who they represent. and And they're just getting on each other's nerves and right getting pissed. Right.
00:24:22
Speaker
Gabriel sends bronze bronze men to hold off the orcs ah while the Marines fight the elder. He and Isidore make up ah because they've been arguing and I swear to God, they almost start making out. It is. It's just it's I think I might be polluted by the fact that I'm reading a picture, the picture of Dorian Gray right now. Have you read this book?
00:24:45
Speaker
the Oscar Wilde book. i know it a long time ago. yeah Yeah. I'd never read it before. And I told myself this year, I'm going to read 10 classics. So I'm starting with that one. ah It's one I've always wanted to read. and And it is the gayest book I have ever read. I do not say that as a as a as a a a ah ah a compliment or an insult. It just it just is what it is. yeah and And so maybe that's getting in my head, but they have this making up brother moment where, yeah, you do expect like some,
00:25:16
Speaker
some two hearted, you know, four hearts beating as one. Yeah. You know, sweating under the moonlight moment. It's,
00:25:27
Speaker
it's, it's, it's the devil under the pale moonlight. Right. Right. That's, that's what I call it too. Uh,
00:25:35
Speaker
um, So we get the Farseer, Matcha, and the warrior, Jeriel. They talk about how Jeriel needs to transition to a new path, which is what Eldar do. they they they They don't stay on any one path for too long. you're a warp spider for a little while. You become a striking scorpion, all that sort of thing. um We cut to the space brains who are ambushed by warp spiders. Eldar are kind of like... the they're they're they're They're predator for Eldar. Like they they just disappear. Eldar is like, ah release the warp spiders.
00:26:10
Speaker
yeah that's that's Yeah, that's pretty much it. um Corrales, the sergeant, he takes the worst of the fight and ah reveals a bunch of mines that have been left there to assist with the ambush. This is this is the end of the chapter, and it's this reveal of mines is played as like this du du moment and I do not know why yeah it's yeah i i really I honestly got reread several pages to figure out why that was such a big deal or was being broadcast as a big deal but I could not figure it out right um
00:26:48
Speaker
Chapter eight, the battle ends with the Marines on top. ah The Inquisitor Toth shows up pissed off ah because they are, they are, he's are a loose cannon, Gabriel. You know, you're, I'm taking you off this case. And had its hand me your what would would it be? Hand me your, your oath of. ah yeah your Your oath of moment. And your, your, your moments and your bolter. Yeah.
00:27:14
Speaker
yeah but yeah You're off this case. It's it's that. And they they they they have another face up. They have a talking like this contest. And yeah and and then Toth leaves in a huff.
00:27:26
Speaker
um The Eldar give the guardsmen of the city, Luvramar, chance to leave. they are They say, we are going to, we're attacking this city. We're taking this city one way or the other. There's only like a hundred of you.
00:27:41
Speaker
guys, we know that you can either ah get out of here and leave with your lives or you'll die. ah And the answer is yes and no. And I actually liked this detail. I thought this was pretty funny ah because there's not a lot of central leadership going on in there. So one guy, an ogren, I think, goes down to the gates and like hits the lever to let them in. And while he's doing that, another Imperial Guardsman up on the wall starts shooting. so It's like, we accept and now die! like it's and And the Eldar kind of cluck their tongues and think, oh god, humans. like ah the the The future of the war of the galaxy depends on them and we're all doomed.
00:28:26
Speaker
um The ah Chaos are planning on infiltrating the city through a series of tunnels ah rather than besiege the place.
00:28:37
Speaker
Isidore ah Investigates an Eldar stone structure. ah It suggests that the Eldar have been here ah long, long before millennia ago. ah And ah but they have they have always planned on coming back. but but but Right.
00:28:54
Speaker
um The Eldar take the city ah the city very easily ah and then the Bloodravens blow up the mountain ah that they are on to remove the Eldar artifacts there. They fucking blow the mountain up and like so like literally sending molten rock and shit everywhere. Yeah, that'll do it.
00:29:15
Speaker
yeah Thanks, guys. That'll do it Thanks, Gabe. Yeah. Just a mess. Did we already get to the part where the Eldar... thought this was like a a nice actual moment where the Eldar are commenting on art.
00:29:33
Speaker
And... I don't remember. Oh, yes. That is it. when they're When they get into the city. Yes. So they're like they're talking about like how um how can these humans... like ah dedicate or or create art that is ah clearly done by by artisans and craftsmen who have only been doing it for a short while.
00:29:56
Speaker
um our artists are like honing their art for hundreds, if not thousands of years or something like that. And I was like, i was like that is what's funny is like that's the most anti-AI argument in this book. Yeah.
00:30:13
Speaker
yeah Honest to God. Yeah. it Long before it's time, that is, that is 100% an anti-AI argument. yeah um And yeah, it is, and it is interesting. It's an interesting point of view for them because I mean, it would be like if we met an alien race that had a much shorter lifespan than ours and we went to their museum and it was just like children's stick drawings, you know, because they only live long enough to get to that point.
00:30:39
Speaker
ah They're like, this this master of our craft managed to color inside of the lines. And said, he was just one of our greats. One of our greats. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:50
Speaker
um Chapter nine, the elder are looking for site that used to be in the city. The irony is that it is beneath a statue. This might be where they talking about art. The statue of the city's founder.
00:31:04
Speaker
um Space Marines approach the city and find that the soil is saturated with blood, more blood. And they make a point of saying more blood than there should be. Like, like, look, look, blood. So crown is one thing. I love it. You love it. But this is ridiculous. This is too much blood in the soil. This is, this is not how it should go. ah it It's pretty hilarious. We're over the blood limit.
00:31:29
Speaker
Yeah. This is, this is, this is nuts. This is getting nuts. Yeah. And we we get a really weak history of the Alpha Legion. keep forgetting to look to see. I don't think Legion, the book, had come out ah okay when this had happened. So ah Dan Abnett really tightened it up.
00:31:51
Speaker
Oh my God. He, he, he set the bar so high for background on everybody, but especially the alpha Legion, I think. Okay. This alpha Legion came out in 2008. I think this one came out in 2007. I just want make sure.
00:32:09
Speaker
just wanna to make sure um
00:32:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, this came out in 2004. So it would be another four years ah before. The Alpha Legion was really locked down as to like right what they are, which is ah inscrutable little dudes, you know? Right, and fascinating. And so this didn't need to be that in-depth, but the background we get on them is just the most generic blah stuff chaos like alfarius was like we're gonna be the strongest chaos marines that ever existed and that's why we're gonna join horus and that's like it like it okay yeah that's it that's the whole thing uh all right it's it's it that sucks even even removed from legion uh it just kind of sucks as a uh as a backstory um
00:33:07
Speaker
the farcear matcha finds a warp pool, and instructs Jerry L to step into it so that he can come back as an avatar of cane, the blood handed God, uh, uh, basically their big stompy boy. It is Calam and check Hane. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's some nasty shit.
Eldar, human artistry, and Warp strategy
00:33:29
Speaker
Uh, ah Chapter 10, the safe space Marines hit the city and Gabriel climbs on top of a tank for no reason. ah and And this one is like really for no reason. Like he, they describe him like climbing on top of it and to open the hatch to talk to the people inside to like the, the, the, uh, the captain inside. It was like, you've got, you've got Vox beads, you've got radios. Like, right.
00:33:57
Speaker
We, we have those, we have those. ah Like, you don't need it. You don't need it. It's all right. all right. Like it's, an it's so, yeah, it's, it it's so stupid. What is this man's obsession, uh, uh, with this shit? It just keeps going.
00:34:14
Speaker
Um, Chaos finds an underground lake of blood paging markiplier on the set of iron lung. ah This is another one of those chaos details. and I'm like, oh, yeah, a couple of weeks, by the way.
00:34:29
Speaker
I know I'm looking forward to it. I really, yeah really. dare Are you going to try to see it in the theater? I think so. We're going to try. we we we realized that ah we both have Martin Luther King Day off, ah but our son is going to daycare, so we're going to make it into a date day. so hopefully we'll have one of those. Yeah, we're gonna we're going movies. We're going to see the new 28 years later thing.
00:34:52
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah. The the blood, ah the but the bone temple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to watch the first one. We've we've seen we've seen Weeks later and and days later, but we haven't seen the first 28 years later that came out last year. Yeah, oh, you're right. I have i haven't seen it yet either. And it's been a long time since I've seen ah Weeks.
00:35:11
Speaker
I don't think you need to know them. I think it's it's an anthology thing, so I don't think you need to, but we did it anyway. just to share just Sure, sure. you know And Weeks sucks, by the way. ah its It's such a bad movie. um ah Yeah. So yeah, we've got, this is another detail. Underground Lake of Blood. that That's fucking cool. That's pretty cool. Can't argue with that. ah The Eldar convinced Gabriel. That's also Vigo, the Carpathian shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On ah on a mountain of skulls, on a throne of blood.
00:35:51
Speaker
I remember when I saw that movie, when I was a kid, he looked when it was just his face, he looked so much like an elderly baby. Uh, that as a kid, I thought that was on purpose because he wanted to like take the, he wanted to possess the baby. no, it's just, that's just what he looks like. That's just just what he looks like. You see him in a frigging, what's it, uh, and die hard. Um,
00:36:18
Speaker
Oh, that's right. He's one of the he's one of the terrorists in Die Hard. Spoilers, they're actually they're actually thieves. they're thieves They're thieves. No one yeah no one no one has an actual code these in these worlds. And they do it again in Die Hard with a Vengeance with his brothers. The same yeah fucking thing. oh i had it so it's I mean, really, what's his name? ah Jeremy Irons. Jeremy Irons. Jeremy Irons. Jeremy Irons.
00:36:48
Speaker
it just really ate that. but Holy Toledo! Looks like somebody had fun. He is having just so much fun in that part. And i i I love it. With his fucking German Aryan hair and like and his...
00:37:08
Speaker
tank tops and like all of his and and and i didn't i saw that movie when i was much younger and i didn't really know jeremy irons i barely knew that he was scar so like seeing him in that role it looking back i'm like what ah what a weird fucking part for him it's such a weird part but you know what it really makes that movie oh yeah that movie god yeah it's it's he chews the scenery it's wonderful um ah The Eldar convinced Gabriel that they need to have a temporary truce while they fight against ah chaos, which they say, by the way, your boy Toph totally knows about all this shit.
00:37:46
Speaker
So you better go chat with him. um Chapter 11, the the chaos our chaos Marines are doing a ritual ah as the space Marines approach.
00:37:57
Speaker
ah The blood Ravens fight chaos. They find the blood pool and realize how heavy this whole fucking thing is. ah This is a hilarious moment. Toth shows up with his big ass war hammer and his armor and shit and kind of strikes a pose and nobody notices.
00:38:12
Speaker
ah it's It's hilarious. um ah He and Gabriel once again argue over how this whole thing has been handled. ah Toth admits that records of the planet were expunged by the Inquisition and that it was here 3000 years ago and they've known about it for a long, long time. ah While he's explaining this, Toth is like tossing his big ass war hammer back and forth ah like a baseball. yeah that's I don't say baseball, but they're like, he's like tossing it rhythmically from one hand to another. yeah
00:38:48
Speaker
Inquisitors are not space Marines. They can't, they're not just like, he doesn't have like the, the strength of like 14 men. it Right. its He's just a person who was imbued with crazy amounts of authority. Yeah. And he might be like, you know, it what is it? Inquisitive. Like he might be a psyker. Right. um Right. Sure. Sure. But, but that's, yeah.
00:39:14
Speaker
Yeah. yeah it' sort he's like I imagine like okay if he's like Heinrichs then maybe he has i don't know a fucking baseball bat a sure fine and in fact if if Grand Inquisitor Toph showed up to fuck shit up with a baseball bat. I'm like best character in the book.
00:39:37
Speaker
I am. i hes yeah He's my favorite. ah it He reveals that the Warhammer was made from the shard stolen ah from ah was it the the the Blade of the Wailing Doom. Yeah, the Avatar. It's the Avatar's weapon, basically. Yeah, from the very beginning ah when we started the book. And the final twist is that the Death Watch all those years ago who were on this planet 3,000 years ago when this whole thing started and stole that, ah were being they were being led by a Blood Ravens captain.
00:40:10
Speaker
So this is this is stuff that is within the history and the lore of the yeah Blood Ravens ah and they know nothing about it. And that captain was the dude was uh is the one that's uh he i think he had just gotten killed right um i don't even he was yeah he was the dread he's he was entombed in the dreadnought yes yes yes yes yes which is that i love that shit uh i thought you gonna say and that captain was albert einstein and then And then everybody clapped. Everybody clapped. um And they the chapter ends with them agreeing that they need to ah quit bickering and kick some ass.
00:40:51
Speaker
ah And the chapter ends with Isidore hearing more chaos voices that he is trying to shake off. And that's the end of the chapter and the end of part two.
00:41:01
Speaker
So what do you think, Kevin? Yeah. Yeah. Never have a ah really just...
00:41:13
Speaker
I don't know. It's, it's like, it's Warhammer and I really like Warhammer and every, every story and book so far I'm bad at, like, I know this isn't going to be, this wasn't going to be the case forever.
00:41:26
Speaker
Like even the other one, other video game novelization that we read for, that was a Tao. Yeah. That was, and that was a Tao book. I was like, still like that one, you know?
00:41:37
Speaker
Um, uh, even, uh, This one, I'm like, oh, well, and you know, finally my first miss. And I it was it would i heard rumblings and like in the Discord. ah People were talking about it like, oh, yeah, CS Go 2 is like like... These books are kind of like known as some of the worst that the Black Library has has ever produced. And like CS Go 2 doesn't have like a great reputation and all that stuff. And I'm like, eh, maybe it'll be fine. And I'm like, oh, my God, these characters...
00:42:09
Speaker
The Eldar and the Space Marines somehow blend together and that should never happen. That should not happen. yeah broke everyones Everyone's talking like they're like they're giving this magnificent speech, but they don't know what a speech is. yeah its yeah it's It's rough. It gets very rough. give me like just i need i need to I'm going to wash it down. going to go buy a Dan Abnett book and just like as a palate cleanse. I haven't read Legion.
00:42:41
Speaker
Read Legion. Just read Legion as a palate cleanser. Read Legion. it's It still stands out as one of the best 40K books. I guess it's technically 30K, but but it's it's sure it yeah it's one of the best in that universe. i've ever It's so mean yeah just so chewy and good. There's so much to sink into with it. It's great. And it introduces you to one of the ah biggest characters ah in the series. ah Yeah.
00:43:07
Speaker
So it's, it's a pretty cool, it's, it's a very cool book. I think, I think you'll enjoy it a lot. So I hope. awesome but yeah Yeah. No, so what do you, how are you feeling? I agree. I think I, at the, at the, on, on the one hand, yeah, it's just, it's, I tried to think back to other Warhammer books that I've read that disappointed me. um And, and the first thing I thought of without meaning to was another book he wrote. So,
00:43:38
Speaker
it's It's tough. It's tough to be too defensive of this guy, and I'm not going to be. But the one thing that I thought to myself was that you know he's he's got these guys riding the tanks. Everyone's like...
00:43:52
Speaker
he's he He seems to be really fond of like the early 90s, late 80s hair metal Warhammer kind of shit. Right. Which very much didn't take itself all that seriously and sure was crazy as fuck. And that is a valid thing.
00:44:08
Speaker
That is a valid era of Warhammer to fucking love. I don't blame you. But but this came out in 2004. And even in 2004, we had better shit than this.
00:44:19
Speaker
Yeah, this is when you still ordered your minis. either went to, you found a a a miniature store nearby or you ordered your minis out of a fucking catalog. Right, right. They're all metal. Uh, so yeah. Yeah. You had no plastic shit.
00:44:37
Speaker
Yeah. I, I, I agree. It's, it's pretty weak. Um, and after this is done, I, I have, I have, I have a whole shelf of Warhammer books I need to get to. It's just a matter which one I'm going to pick. I'm also, I'm also like, I, but before we started reading this, was reading, uh, the deep by, um,
00:44:56
Speaker
Nick Cutter. hutter Oh, such a good book. Oh yeah. That's a good one. I need to get back into that once once thats i wrap this up. I'm i'm yeah i'm spinning right it back into the deep.
00:45:08
Speaker
i I read i read The Troop and The Deep ah by Nick Cutter and and he has other stuff and I haven't read. i have to because both of those books kicked my ass. They were so good.
00:45:19
Speaker
I really need to get back. Have you read his his he's he writes under a like Nick Cutter is his pen name for horror stuff, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. um I haven't read, I don't, I don't think I've read any of his other stuff. Yeah. ah But yeah, no, he's Nick Cutter's excellent writer.
00:45:37
Speaker
Yeah. ah So ah now that's much better than the CS go to him. All right. Yes, he is. Oh my God. Go out i just go out and buy the troop, go out and buy the deep, read them both. You'll, you'll thank me. Yeah. The troop is very uncomfortable.
00:45:50
Speaker
A very uncomfortable read. Very, o ah It's like it takes the Stephen King trope of like the coming of age horror thing. Yeah, it's very much a Stephen King. Yeah, it's very much a Stephen King a coming of age horror a story that the Duffer brothers invented, by the way. Yeah.
00:46:11
Speaker
corrupt don't' ven don't get it Don't get it twisted. The Duffer Brothers invented it ah somehow before Stephen King. Yeah, 30 years after Stephen King and and invented it. Yeah. Yeah. And and before Ray Bradbury invented it, for that matter. Yeah, before Ray Bradbury or or any of those those esteemed authors. ah No, it's the Duffer Brothers. brother Remember that. Remember that. Write that down. right that' yeah That'll be on the test.
00:46:41
Speaker
Who invented horror? Coming of age horror. Coming of age horror stories. Yeah. Guthrie Brothers. Started. Yep. Yeah. Well, ah Kevin, now that we've got that out of the way, ah we get to the meat of the show, the part that asks the questions that everyone actually came here for.
Gaming experiences and Warhammer nostalgia
00:47:02
Speaker
What are you playing? No, I didn't know that you were going to ask me this. I'm so sorry I've been playing. I like growing things out like that. Yeah, I've been playing Tainted Grail, The Fall of Avalon still.
00:47:13
Speaker
ah Okay. It sounds like you're on that more than you were before. Yeah, it's it's I'm enjoying it now this time. um And here's what I'll say is the the back third of the first act of the game is a little bit of a slog. And okay, yeah. End of act one, there's a boss, his name's Galahad. He's got a pretty neat like lore and background and story. It's just the boss fight kind of sucks. um Basically, ah the idea in the game
00:47:47
Speaker
uh is that uh he is this is this this guy is galahad but he's not the original galahad galahad is actually more of like a position of oh because you become a knight of the round table in this version of avalon and so eventually you become the galahad and the galahad that is current is this galahad the pure he has a habit of burning things uh with With fire, he just he's like, well, I got to purify this village, so I'm going to burn it down and burn everybody. um That's his thing.
00:48:24
Speaker
um And the hey the guy who, for such a small part, ah well, could be a bigger part if you side with him on the on the whole quest line, but... You go there to kill him.
00:48:37
Speaker
um The guy who voices him is just tremendous um because you show him a badge. This badge was like, oh, yeah, i ah I have this badge allows me to speak to a Knight of the Roundtable. and's And he's like, oh, OK. And ah where'd you get that badge from?
00:48:55
Speaker
And he go you tell him where you got the badge from. And the guy is the guy you got it from is presumed dead. you're Like he's supposed to have been dead for a long time. And he's like, oh, you mean you got it from his grave, didn't you? And he's and you're like, no, i he handed it to me. um And the the guy who voices him, Galahad just pauses and goes,
00:49:16
Speaker
Interesting. so So, what is it that you want me to to ask me? And then you you go through this whole thing and we tell him that you you're here to kill him. His response is marvelous. And he gets up and he just swings his mace at you. And it's just like, the whole scene is amazing. And then the boss fight kind of sucks, but everything up to that moment is just, I just love the way the guy, just, if you have a moment, just,
00:49:42
Speaker
Look up the Galahad, the dialogue tree of the Galahad boss fight in Avalon Tainted Grail if you're not ah if you're not going to ah ah play it or Tainted Grail Fall of Avalon, whatever the word is. Right.
00:49:57
Speaker
Because it's ah it's a really good moment. um But yeah, i' i'm I'm through the first act. i'm I'm a good way into act two now in the second area. Second area is a lot more geographically interesting than the first one.
00:50:11
Speaker
and And there's a lot more the quests. I'm i'm part of like an assassin's guild now. So I'm... I'm doing all sorts of shadowy things and and that's kind of fun. Nice. So yeah. I'm glad you gave it another great try. Yeah, I'm glad i I gave it another try as well. I mean, it's the year of my backlog, so I'm i'm trying to go back and finish things, like really get get opinions solidified on things. i'm i' I've made it a mission to write more reviews of the games that I play. Nice.
00:50:45
Speaker
So I'll put them in Steam and I'll probably post them on the ah the Patreon as well. Yeah, you should do that. That's a great idea. Yeah. um Otherwise, i still play Hades 2 mindlessly for the most part and well while in bed.
00:51:02
Speaker
And ah I started playing Forgive Me, Father, which I believe you gifted me. um great did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. it's It's a cool looking little ah first person shooter.
00:51:16
Speaker
ah It's very fast paced. Yeah, kind of Cthulhu-esque. Yeah, very Cthulhu-esque. ah One of the things I'll say about it is there's a ah there's these enemies, there's these zombie enemies that are walking around, and ah if you headshot them the and blow off their head, well, if they're holding another head in their hand, they take that head and they just affix it to the top of their body, and they keep going and keep coming for you. That's awesome.
00:51:50
Speaker
That's tremendous. I love that. That's great. ah That's fun as hell. That is a cool little design detail. That's great. I love that.
00:52:02
Speaker
um Or so you can shoot the head out of their hands first and then give them, get them a headshot or, you know, whatever. But I was like, that's, that's cute. I like that. That's a nice detail.
00:52:14
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. So ah that's what I've been playing. Phil, what are you playing? Oh. What playing, Emails? Oh.
00:52:28
Speaker
I've been living my redneck fantasy is what i've been doing. ah Yeah. i I've just been... i i got Is it like Tractor Simulator or something? I've been playing Ranch Simulator. Okay. Which is a lot of fun and... ah It's like a lot of simulator games where you have to kind of figure a lot of it out yourself, which can be frustrating, but there's a really big community for it, which is nice. um But yeah, like I'm building my own ranch. I just got some chickens. I'm dealing with a
00:53:02
Speaker
frustratingly ah fast and terrible steering ah ATV to get around town and running into people constantly. Not yeah not making any friends.
00:53:14
Speaker
sure it's ah It's a great landscape. ah It's It's one of those you can go out and hunt. You can raise your animals. You can you know you can just focus on building all this. so You can do all that stuff. And it's it's it's pretty cool. there is um It's a very Pacific Northwest kind of area. You're in very azure forest mountains. But they recently released DLC, which is Southwestern style, which I think is a nice touch. um Yeah, i always I always appreciate games like this when it comes to their DLC. i always
00:53:50
Speaker
you know Things like this and um European Truck Simulator and American Truck Simulator for that matter, ah where it's like their DLC always seems worth it to me. It's always like, oh, well, you're you're clearly getting something out of this. They are they are giving you more. It is a true true expansion pack.
00:54:11
Speaker
Right, right. ah So I'm going to keep tinkering away at this. This is very, very fun. um And then to add on to my ah redneck enjoyment of everything, I actually started playing the demo for PBA Pro Bowling 2026. Oh my God. I watched Northern Lion play this. It's hysterical. This game rules. This is it's so good. i
00:54:43
Speaker
There are a lot of sports games that for some reason I always really kind of gravitate towards like golf is one of them. I hate golf. I would never, I don't watch golf, but I'll play the shit out of video game. And I know you love some college football sports games. Yes, and it's got the actual announcers from pro bowling doing comp. It made me think, no, that's exactly what it made me think of. It gives you that same feeling of like,
00:55:10
Speaker
ah but you're You're actually a part of something. I gave myself um a big, ah ridiculous handlebar mustache with shades, and I named myself ah Jackie Disguise.
00:55:23
Speaker
a my My hometown is Nowheresville. um it's ah The demo is excellent, and I will be buying it, but it's being released on Switch tomorrow. Wow.
00:55:34
Speaker
And that's where I want it because that's I want it in my handheld that I can I can, you know, play a few lanes and stuff and and just stick around. and And, you know, the whole thing is there's a huge career mode and you can unlock ah outfits and balls and like all that shit. And if there's something I love, it's unlocking balls.
00:55:56
Speaker
It's it's. it the It's smooth. It plays really well. ah It's clever. it's It's holy shit. It's really good. Like I got it. kind of I got the demo kind of on a whim. I'm like, oh, fuck bowling. Yeah, fine. Fuck it. Let's play some bowling. Why not? I did not expect it, man.
00:56:16
Speaker
I did not expect the game. Yeah, yeah. I did not expect to be so taken with it. um i did really badly my first ah game of it playing against like the tutorial guy, because I'm still trying to figure it out. And with a demo,
00:56:34
Speaker
you know, I didn't pay anything for It's like, fuck it. i I might as well just pick something, play something else. This is one of those things where like I played against the the tutorial villain until I got it right and actually put in the time. to i was invested, ah which is so nice. and just It feels good to play. it's It looks good. It's fun and it takes itself just seriously enough.
00:57:01
Speaker
It's that thing where it's like, yeah, we're bowling. Like, yeah, it's bowling. That's that's that's that's inherently kind of funny when we think about it. but But it is an industry and it is a professional sport and it is. right and and And they take it seriously. And so they're having fun with it. But there's also a level of like, well, but but slow down. This is a real thing.
00:57:24
Speaker
ah This is more than just like, you know, Nintendo 8-bit bowling, ah row where you pick one of your four characters and i and the weight of the ball. right um You got to learn how to do the spin, you know, it they do really good. They have things with like oil patterns and- Yes, oil patterns on the lane. It's nuts. It's the level of detail.
00:57:43
Speaker
ah And I haven't even gotten into that. ah it and And they'll show you, you know, for, you know, the pins that you have up, like what the best angle to do it at is and and that kind of thing they show you what a professional would try to do and it's up to you to actually pull it off and it's it's one of those things where i'm like oh well this will be easy it's never easy uh at least not for me at this point uh so i'm going to be picking that one up tomorrow uh because that's gonna be my little my little handheld fling uh for
00:58:16
Speaker
ah a Nintendo Switch gave me a ah gave me my year-end review thing. yeah And basically, I played one game every month. It was like every every month was dedicated to one
Humorous advice on rating platforms
00:58:28
Speaker
game. was dedicated to a game. And this will be your your thing for January, February. January, February. rolling i i i think this is it for a little while. so I foresee this game making it to the end of the year as as one of your games of the year.
00:58:43
Speaker
i I was thinking the same thing. I was like, weirder things have happened. This is is is very much, yeah, this this could definitely be the case. So I love it. ah that This is what demos are for, people. um I've downloaded some more. I'm i'm i'm still playing a Road to Empress, slowly chewing my way through. Got through a chapter without a single death. It was maybe...
00:59:08
Speaker
one one of my proudest video gaming moments. The guards did not seize you that day, my friend. No, no, I couldn't believe it. I was like, oh, this is coming along. And I was like, well, the the hard part's gonna come along at some point. And and and it it was like, you did it, you passed this chapter. i was like,
00:59:25
Speaker
Oh my God. It was such a great feeling. like And I was like, all right, I'm turning it off because I don't want to mar this. this is this I got to live on this going to live on this high for a little while. this is Yeah, that's that's it's an achievement is is getting through and and not getting your ah your character killed.
00:59:45
Speaker
your character killed oh I was really very proud. And I even went to jail. Like yeah like they put you in jail cell. Oh, yeah, yeah i yeah. I believe that is... i mean, I think you end up having to go to jail. well Yeah, i think you do too. When we make friends with girl in the jail. Yeah, yeah. You make friends with the girl in the cell next next to you. And you you con the princess by a befriending the cat.
01:00:12
Speaker
yeah yeah yeah that was that was the chapter i got through that whole thing without getting killed and and i was so fucking proud uh so that's still that's still a hell of a lot of fun and and i'm also playing through ah the bad guy uh a version of the uh winter assault dlc for um dawn of war uh remastered so cool just just just i'm keeping my 40k you know my keep my dawn of war on on point you know yeah yeah keeping it close keeping it close to the heart exactly um yeah that's me
01:00:51
Speaker
That's awesome. Well, thank you all for listening. ah Remember to rate us on all your platforms, including Zillow and, oh, sorry, not Zillow, homes.com. Homes.com. Yes. Homes.com, everybody. and um And ah LinkedIn, Better Business Bureau.
01:01:08
Speaker
um And ah for the for the for the cheap seats in the back,
01:01:19
Speaker
Fuck Ice and Free Palestine. Free Palestine. Fuck ice.