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Dinosaur Laser Fight (Primal Rage: The Avatars - Part 3)
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The book reaches its inevitable conclusion, with Kaze married to two women.
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Book Synopsis
As Necrosan and his undead armies lay waste to Urth, the Avatars struggle to free their imprisoned dino-god masters and must overcome personal differences in order to defeat their common enemy.
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Transcript
Star Trek and Jack Quaid Discussion
00:00:00
Speaker
Is that any good? i've heard I've heard mixed things. I don't know why I'm asking. I haven't watched a single Star Trek show in my life. But out of curiosity. It's good. It's good. out But it gets it's better if you have watched other Star Trek shows because... There will be little hidden jokes where it's like, oh, that's from like, I get it.
00:00:24
Speaker
it's just that It's a reference to like a Deep Space Nine episode or something like that or or or what have you. um But yeah, you know, starring Yui from The Boys.
00:00:39
Speaker
ah Oh, oh, okay, okay. Jack Quaid is the voice is the main character. Oh, that's funny. He's cool. Yeah, he's cool. You know who else is Jack Quaid?
00:00:51
Speaker
Who's that?
Introduction to Pixelate Podcast and 'Primal Rage'
00:00:52
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Pixelate. My name is Kevin. With me, as always, is Phil. On today's show, we are finishing ah bloody... What the fuck is this book? Primal Rage.
00:01:03
Speaker
Primal Rage. blood bloody Bloody Rage. Primal Roar. Bloody Rage. Primal Roar. Yeah.
00:01:11
Speaker
I'm going to I'm not going to lie. I threw on I did a text to speech and just listen to a robot as is your right god voice. ah Listen, play it back for me and in a PDF reader. And I'm going to tell you.
00:01:27
Speaker
um I only was, I'm but only vaguely aware of what happens at the end. And I know Melissa, like, really tried. ah She really, really gave it the old college try. She did. She gave it the grad school try. She did the postgraduate degree. She did. She did a doctorate in trying to get K's to.
Melissa's Determination in 'Primal Rage'
00:01:52
Speaker
Yeah. To get dicked down by a, by a.
00:01:56
Speaker
Nepalese monk like that's what she was going for and boy it's she was she was she's really breasting boobily in the last third of this book it's all it's a whole thing it's in there's even a moment where the the 15 year old nearly breasts boobily and it gets in problem it's a does it it gets kind of a it gets kind of problematic gets There's a bit of a problematic moment where the this author, I feel like the author was trying to be like, I could be problematic, but I'm not going to be. Yeah, yeah the ah the author was trolling at that point. I have to believe that's the only thing that that's acceptable at that point. You're like, please say you're trolling. otherwise Otherwise, there's a lot of questions I've got that I just don't want to get into. into right now
00:02:40
Speaker
Please say psych right now. Please say psych right now. Yeah, He gets close and then says psych. And then we're like I'm like, thank God. Yeah.
Pixelate's Patreon Promotion
00:02:49
Speaker
yeah So anyway, ah if you want to go to a fabulous website where you could say psych right now, ah there's a website called patreon.com slash pixel at pod where you can ah give us money and not say psych. You could be like, hey, I'm giving you this money ah for real. For real. No cap on God. Mm hmm. No cap on God.
Overwhelming Experience of 'Primal Rage'
00:03:13
Speaker
And at $10, you get your name read out in every episode.
00:03:18
Speaker
And to that end, I want to thank And You Are Hiding Song 85, Jesus Loves You, Ruthless Mudder Middle Things, Sigma Sal, Sanguine Flatulence, Shia Lude, Chet, Beaks, Dumbass, Thick and Friendly Friend. Thank you so much.
00:03:30
Speaker
for being a friend, patreon.com slash pixapod. it today. Do it today. So, yeah. this book happened to us.
00:03:42
Speaker
It did. It's like a... It's like a natural disaster yeah after a certain point. you know Kevin and I are sitting on the the side of the road ah with one of those metallic thermal blankets around us ah while a half a cop half-heartedly ah tries to get the
Mike Birbiglia's Influence on Podcast Style
00:04:07
Speaker
details. Yeah, they're taking our statement, but they're not really they're not really right You ever seen ah the that Mike Borbiglia stand-up special where he's talking about ah how he got into a car accident? Yes. Yes, that was a great one. Yeah, that was really good.
00:04:23
Speaker
And he's basically... So he so Mike Borbiglia does these these stand-ups where he call he calls them one-man shows as opposed to a stand-up. They kind of are, yeah. And they kind of are. They're more in the form of a one-man show than ah than a...
00:04:41
Speaker
Even though it's like our aren't all stand-ups one-man show.
Frustration Over 'Primal Rage' Inaccuracies
00:04:44
Speaker
Yeah, but there's a little bit of a dramatic like monologue Yeah, the way he presents his material anyway ah For this one basically the the through line is him trying to prove that he is not liable for a car accident um strictly because the cop who took everybody's statement just wrote it up wrong.
00:05:06
Speaker
Right. And um he's just losing his mind over trying to get them to admit it. And it's not until the end where his his wife is just like, ah you just got to let it go. Like, it's it's literally killing you.
Goodreads and 'Primal Rage' Ratings
00:05:23
Speaker
And we're dealing with that cop yeah yeah right now. And we're weighing the possibility of whether or not ah going too hard into this being bullshit is worth it to us and worth our health and or sanity.
00:05:40
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, but we're already here. so Right, right. We're here. So fuck it. We've been doing this shit for five years. It's real sunk cost fallacy in terms of.
00:05:52
Speaker
both health and and all that. i mean i You know, that's the thing. With a lot of these, I'm i'm on Goodreads. I like Goodreads a lot. And when I do the whole, the little, like, you know, set a goal for yourself on how many books you'd like to read by the end of your year thing.
00:06:09
Speaker
And, um... I do include the books we read on this show, but I typically don't ah give them ratings ah simply because it's it's a whole different experience.
Literature Adaptations Comparison
00:06:24
Speaker
My enjoyment of this, of of one of a pixel-lit book, is it going it's not fair to compare it to...
00:06:34
Speaker
I hate to say it this way, but a proper book, you know, yeah like it's, it's sorry, you know, it but it is, and, and, and it is, it's two very different ball games. So I don't tend to, I think it's unfair and I don't tend to give it a rating. Um, I finished primal rage today and I gave it one star. I very specifically, very deliberately went in there and went, no, we're giving this one star. We're giving this one star. One star. um Now, you say that, though, but would you would you give a rating to... So a couple of the books that we've read that are...
00:07:07
Speaker
Kind of literature or yeah genre outside of, so Witcher, Sacred and things like it in Terrible Air. Yes, those i absolutely, twenty thirty three yes, those books like that. Yes, I, i correct.
'Far Cry 5' Novelization Surprise
00:07:21
Speaker
I have given those.
00:07:23
Speaker
uh ratings but yeah i'd say 75 of the books we read yeah arts are just not are yeah they're in a different category yeah they're they're their own thing and and i just leave it i i get the credit for having read it uh uh but i leave it alone after that Except, you know what, one one book that kind of stood out as its own thing, despite being an adaptation, was the Far Cry 5 novelization, where the guy... was interesting.
00:07:53
Speaker
The guy basically just channeled Cormac McCarthy and wrote a thing, like a prequel to the to the to the game. Yeah. like that was That was interesting. I remember that. That was another one. that Yeah, you're right. That was like on a different level. it was it was yeah genuinely
Evolution of Podcast Format
00:08:12
Speaker
well done. And it was early enough. We read it early enough that I think it set our expectations unfairly for...
00:08:19
Speaker
the books that would follow that was like the third book we read might have been the third book yeah it was really early on uh because i feel like we did the first that the first resident evil book uh maybe something else bloodborne the bloodborne series it was you know what it was oh shit it was uh it's like i could i could just look it up right now yeah yeah It's under sheets and there we go.
Lessons from Early Podcast Episodes
00:08:58
Speaker
Our calendar. We did Umbrella Conspiracy yeah first. We did... And then we used to do... So, folks, we used to do a review of the game, of the latest game in that series. That's right. We were very ambitious, weren't we? We were very big on biting off more than we could chew. Then we did The Fall of Reach, and then Bloodborne. Yeah, it was the fourth book we read. It was Far Cry Absolution.
00:09:26
Speaker
um and then the the just the absolute tonal whiplash to go from far cry absolution to dead space martyr oh my god that's right that's right dead space martyr was a very important introduction for us in terms of how disappointing these can get yes it's it's It's shocking, really. ah So, yeah, that was fascinating. we We learned a lot with these books. I think we couldn't have done better if we had chosen them very deliberately. ah Yeah.
Revisiting 'Primal Rage' Plot Points
00:10:00
Speaker
And we did not lock in on the three episode format until the following year. yeah The following year with Shadowkeep. There's a Shadowkeep. Oh, okay. Interesting.
00:10:13
Speaker
Because we did we did six episodes for Bioshock Rapture. Now, that being said, that was a big book. That was a big book. Five for The Flood, four for Diablo Legacy of Blood, four for Cal Bancove, and that was the last one that we... I mean, we've done four-parters since then just sure for massive books, but ah yeah, this is... I mean, and and to be fair, very early on, we were like, we shouldn't be five episodes for for a Resident Evil book is too much. Like, we pretty quickly realized that was the case. so Yeah.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah. And then we just locked it in. And now we're the well oil machines that you see in front of us. Grown to expect the high quality show.
00:11:03
Speaker
My God, are you lucky? God. You're so lucky. lucky. By the way, if if it looks like my head is moving weirdly today, it's because i have a stiff neck ah right at the top of my neck. It's just... Yeah, it's... If it looks like Kevin's head is moving weirdly throughout the show, it's because Kevin's head is moving weirdly.
00:11:24
Speaker
It's because it is, and I'm just trying to stretch the... The thing out. Okay. Well, good thing this is not one of my episodes because I'm just going to be over here trying to get that knot stretched out so I can put the body so I can help put the body in the marsh. Yeah. We all need to. We got to help out. We got to lend a hand.
00:11:50
Speaker
Get that marsh body. ah Get that body marshed.
Awkward Interactions in 'Primal Rage'
00:11:56
Speaker
When I tell you to dump a body in the marsh, you dump them in the marsh.
00:12:04
Speaker
Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday to get a fucking blowjob! Don't laugh!
00:12:14
Speaker
This ain't reality TV! Here we go. All right. Primal Rage, the avatars. ah We start at chapter 11. Kina and Kay's ah leave with the map, which you'll remember Melissa iss ah gave them a fake map as to where these bonds of forbidding are. Um...
00:12:34
Speaker
And Kaze, who just found out that his lost love, Kim, is in fact alive, is kind of mooning over her and the possibility of her being alive. And while ah he's doing that, Kina makes us all very uncomfortable with all the sexy thoughts that she's having. um She is thinking a lot about Kaze like that in that way. Yep. Like that in that way.
00:12:58
Speaker
it's never graphic it's never gratuitous but it's also uh they they introduced her as a 15 year old and and they have the author has not forgotten because there are several instances where kind of inexplicably the author says refers to her as a teenager or or something along those lines uh so it's now will a 15 year old fall in love with it an older uh person like this yeah of course they will of course that's just that's that's a thing that happens yeah who among us hasn't had a crush on a teacher or something along those lines uh you know naughty priest whatever um and head jesus christ
00:13:42
Speaker
And it's but but but hearing the inner monologue, especially when nothing's going to come of it, ah because nothing does.
Character Inconsistencies in 'Primal Rage'
00:13:51
Speaker
um But that kind of makes it worse in its own way, because it's like, why even introduce this?
00:13:59
Speaker
ah It's it's it's awkward and uncomfortable. ah Eric, Tor, and Sinjin are trying to raise an army to fight Necroson. Someone it tries to choke Sinjin randomly. like they're they're like Yeah, just just kill him.
00:14:16
Speaker
Some guy, like, it's really... Let's get to the bloody roaring shit. Right. It's still not that game. No, it's still not that game. It's just really uncomfortable and just weird because...
00:14:30
Speaker
some random guy in this crowd of people they're trying to recruit soldiers and build an army to fight necroson and and this guy kind of randomly out of the crowd rushes forward and tries to choke out uh sinjin and sinjin's like no let him do it like he won't he won't stop him uh uh so so eric and tor have to like tear this guy off him and he's like no this is what i deserve because we've we've let these people down and blah blah blah if he must i'm he musts Yeah, exactly. And it's like, it's like a weird thing to say when he is literally two pages away from giving like a rousing, uh, you know, freedom kind of speech to these people. It's two different guys. It's very weird. And it's just not good writing. Um,
00:15:15
Speaker
So he turns into Diablo to quell any doubts that they might
'Primal Rage' Chaos and Plot Twists
00:15:19
Speaker
have, that these people that he's trying to inspire might have, and actually eats one of the one of the doubters. Makes a point of chomping some guy in half. um so And and it it made me nervous because that's usually me. So i'm not I'm not thrilled with the possibilities of me being friends with Diablo in this universe. Yeah.
00:15:41
Speaker
The remaining avatars meet at a ship and sail towards where they think Necroson is going to be. ah It's where this this map is laid out. And it's the it's the home of chaos. It's chaos's island. Chaos Island, you might call it.
00:15:54
Speaker
um Chaos reigns. Chaos, if only. If only chaos actually reigned in this. actually somewhat of an interesting character um yeah sauron and arm ah armadon are are are basically uh in a in a in a novel filled with second and third bananas uh sauron armadon and probably um slash cloth slash fang whatever the tiger guy slash fang yeah those
00:16:25
Speaker
though they're like They're like third, fourth rate bananas. if i were If I were a big fan of them in the video games and I read this book, I'd be kind of pissed because they're very little happens with them. so they But they do indeed ambush Necrozan using the old T-Rex hidden in a cardboard box gambit. Ha ha ha!
00:16:43
Speaker
Sauron literally hides in a box. And Necrocine goes, oh, what's in this? And he pops out, says, surprise, motherfucker, and bites him.
00:16:55
Speaker
Some fries, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, surprise, motherfucker. Hard eyes, motherfucker. Hard eyes, but they And this is the most confusing point in this book so far, if you ask me, because they get the upper hand. They actually start kicking Necrozan's ass. and and And he has to summon every zombie on the island, basically, to protect himself. And it's like, okay.
00:17:20
Speaker
Like, there were a lot more of you guys earlier, and you couldn't... do this and there are going to be a whole lot more of you later and spoiler alert you won't be able to do this so why are you able to because yes surprising with a cardboard box that's kind of insane for the record they never specified as cardboard but read that passage and tell me it's that that's not big yeah they're trying to do it a solid snake yeah yeah it's a it's a refrigerator box at best So, meanwhile, Sinjin slash Diablo ambushes a bunch of zombies and kills a bunch of them. Cool.
00:17:54
Speaker
ah Cut to the other avatars. They swim ah to Chaos Island ah because they don't want the the locals to know that the gods are back. So they want to change into... They don't want to... like change into they don't want to like i don't It's never fully explained. It doesn't fully make sense either. Where it's just like, well, we don't want we don't want people to get too excited right off the bat that the gods are back. Like, why? like that's That seems like the ultimate morale booster, but okie dokie.
00:18:25
Speaker
ah Chapter 12, the avatars start searching Chaos Island. They meet Laszlo, who is a servant of Chaos. ah I'm getting real Ralph Fiennes and 28 Years Later vibes from him. Like they... they They're like, they're like this guy's he's, he's like a shaman. Like he's covered in ink and tattoos and dreadlocks and stuff. But he's also this weirdly refined gentleman. Right. Uh, but spoiler alert, it's, it's, uh, Dr. Shank, uh, chaos is, uh, uh,
00:18:58
Speaker
science what do you call it? Alter ego. That's the word. Alter ego. The Bruce Banner chaos. The Bruce Banner. Yes. Yes. ah So they're following the map. ah They end up in a cave and start searching. Melissa inexplicably, she gets K's alone and just kind of drops the knowledge. She's like, oh yeah, this is not down here.
00:19:18
Speaker
The bonds of forbidding are not down in this cave. And he's like, why not? And she's like, oh, because that's a fake map that I made. And And think and ad he's as confused as the rest of us. He's like, why?
00:19:33
Speaker
And she basically says like, that i was bored. Uh, like just, it's it's, it is that nonsensical, uh, of a situation. Uh, but then we don't have time to focus on that because at that point chaos shows up at the end of the tunnel, that big old red swinging fart and vomiting monkey and starts chasing them down.
00:19:53
Speaker
Um, Chapter 13, we get a dinosaur laser fight, minus the lasers and Danny Sexbang. ah All of the ah the avatars turn into them so ah their their gods to fight back chaos. While they're doing that, Melissa beats feet and Kaze chases her. And just as ah just as she's about to teleport, he grabs her and they both poof disappear.
00:20:18
Speaker
um Poof. Kena... Remember, this is so weird. Kina remembers drums in the background that she heard that were like she assumes had something to do with summoning chaos. And so she transforms back into a human.
00:20:37
Speaker
She literally like pulls the exhaust pipe off a beat up old Chevy or some goddamn thing and starts yeah hammering the the car with this exhaust pipe to a steady drum beat.
00:20:50
Speaker
And it works. ah the The chaos starts kind of dancing and and and it's it's soothing the savage beast, so to speak.
00:21:01
Speaker
We get a confusing line where they're like, keep it up. And she's like, I don't know how long I can keep this up. It's like, bitch, you just got done like fighting, like fist fighting 17 foot.
00:21:12
Speaker
It's just drumming. Yeah. Just keep a drum going. It's a just keep going. It's quarter notes. Just one, two, three, four, and one. Like, it's not it's not hard.
00:21:23
Speaker
ah But we have to create tension ah somehow. It can't be through quality. So... ahll be we can't We can't possibly create tension any other way other than ah Will Keenan. That is the ultimate schmuck bait of like... yeah I'm not going to be able to keep doing this commercial break, right?
00:21:46
Speaker
Commercial break ended. I'm still doing this. Like that's exactly what it is. Like commercial break comes back. Like, no, I'm still fine for another day or so. It's so dumb. And yeah, so the beat, uh, the beats so good.
00:22:01
Speaker
Uh, uh, it's such a banger, uh, that, uh, it actually changes chaos back to human. It's Laszlo. And he introduces himself as Dr. Shank Traff, which that's the fakest name I've ever heard in my entire life. Dr. Shank Traff.
00:22:17
Speaker
Um, That's really something else. is Shank Traff. And you're just like, fuck you. No, it's not. like it's It's Joe Smith. Be honest. like Don't lie to me, Eric, or whoever you are. um My real name is Eric Von Danik. Right, yeah. ah sa think oh was that Stop it's it.
00:22:42
Speaker
so yeah he introduces himself and and very pleasantly just kind of lets them go so that whole thing was pointless ah yep super fun um this is where i'm really starting to get pissed off because as i mentioned last episode chaos is actually one of the more interesting characters and yeah this section on chaos island and meeting laslo quote unquote and all that stuff actually starts getting interesting like there's something to it it's this kind of wasteland of an island with all these destroyed cars from you know the cataclysm and all that shit it's actually pretty it's got some depth to it at least compared to the rest of this and and it's just kind of like like a fart in the wind they just kind of let it go it's like okay yeah great it's like who cares moving on whatever
00:23:35
Speaker
Right. So that's it. So we cut to Kays and Melissa. ah They are, they've teleported to the wastelands where the actual bonds are supposed to be. And in the most confusing turn of events, Kays agrees to be Melissa's man. ah If she will take him to the MacGuffin, basically, if she, will and and he's like, he's like, don't you, you want to do this? you,
00:24:02
Speaker
do you not want to save it for the world or something? She's like, ah, no, you guys all die I'll, and I'll just, you know, pick up the scraps. I really don't give a shit. And so like, she has not stopped trying to get dicked down by this guy. This is actually her only motivation. It is. It's, it's getting embarrassing. She is a necromancer. She is a fucking sorceress. And she's just like, just want a little of that cock. Like it's really, it's a lot. Yeah.
00:24:29
Speaker
So Kays finally says, I think this might be literally all this bitch wants. And so he goes, yeah, fine. I'll i'll be your play thing. I'll be your man. She literally says, I'll be your man. ah I'll be your lover.
00:24:42
Speaker
ah if you were If you take me to this MacGuffin, things are getting really weird. um Now, the rest of the avatars back on Chaos Island, they they they don't know what happened to ah Kays and Melissa. and they they're they're starting to A lot of them are starting to think that Kays betrayed them. They betrayed us. Yeah, yeah. Like Melissa, they're like, oh, well yeah, that's a given. But Kays, really? um Yeah.
00:25:07
Speaker
So the the boats that they, there were there was a a boat that they got ah ah got there on that is is wrecked now. They think that K's and Melissa have something to do with it. But they are ah rescued by Shank on a ah floating pile of trash, basically. It's it's it's the most water world boat you've ever heard of. ah It's just like shit tethered together. And so Dr. Laszlo Shank...
00:25:37
Speaker
monkey is is like yeah chaos man yeah yeah i'll i'll take you where you gots to go uh you know gas grass or ass and uh and they're like okay uh so we cut to uh necroson who has escaped armadon and sauron and they have kicked his ass they have properly kicked his ass uh he he got away and he's wondering why why they didn't just kill him like he and he basically echoes the sentiment of the reader it's like he they had me like it was a why didn't they why didn't they fucking kill me just finish me off right and and he is correct it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense the reader's like yeah and we could have been over we could have been done this book yeah um but we we do not dnf books
00:26:26
Speaker
No, no, not, not on this show anyway. Uh, this show, God damn it. In real life. Sometimes, uh, real life. Yeah. Real life. You something you got to take care of yourself, people. Uh, but Kevin and i put ourselves through the ringer for you. We put ourselves on the line. Uh, it's true.
00:26:42
Speaker
It's true. Do you realize the level of sanity that we lose every episode for you guys, for your entertainment, for your education? We are, we're, we're, we are delights. We are so generous and warm.
00:26:55
Speaker
ah Generous and warm, and we put it we put it all out there. Patreon.com slash PixelitPod. Buy us pancakes. Do something. Buy us pancakes. Buy us pancakes, damn you. Instead of instead of coffee Kofi, I'm going to make ah a website called P-A-N-K-A-C-A-K-E and be like Pancake.com. Pancake.com.
00:27:22
Speaker
Buy me a pancake. Buy me a flapjack. you know Yeah, I love it. ah that's Flapjacks. I'd be so much more inclined to give people money on flapjack or whatever it is. Yeah, flapjack or FLPJCK. Well, I think I know what my new vanity plate's going to be.
00:27:42
Speaker
o So have some flapjacks, uh, the word flapjack just from, I just think of a groundhog day. Oh yeah. Yeah. Too early for flat, too early flash flashs or too late for flapjack. Too late for flapjack. That is still, yeah I've told you this before, but that, that is the movie that if I can, if I can write a script a quarter as good and as like, just honest to God, funny and just satisfying and,
00:28:11
Speaker
as Groundhog Day is, then I'll be good. i' I've done my job. I've done my job. yeah If I can be a fraction as good as Harold Ramis, that's really what I'm aiming for. A fraction of good as good as Harold Ramis. That's... One of the only... There's only a few celebrities that I cried over yeah when they get when they passed. He was one of mine. One of them one of them was Harold Ramis. He's probably... I think...
00:28:33
Speaker
Yeah, he's he outside of actual news work that I've done for pay. He is the only celebrity that I've ever like written a fucking ah eulogy for basically. Yeah, that was that was hard um anyway. ah So Necrozone sends all of his zombies to his lair so he can lick his wounds and and heal up. uh fine uh tor eric and sinjin have defeated a bunch of zombies with their new troops and they rally them up they're getting pumped and they're going to uh march on uh necrasan gonna march on them on necrasan yeah and now don't forget the ah other group had necrasan defeated earlier right let him live Right.
00:29:20
Speaker
Right. ah Two of these guys, two of these guys, in fact. ah So, OK, we we passed up that opportunity. And i do we start to get we get fed a little bit here of ah the idea that it's like, well, there's a time limit. They can only change places with the gods for so long. They can't they can't hold it. And this has never been mentioned. This is the first time that it's it's mentioned. And it's just and we're going to be following that rule for the rest of the book. uh and it's dumb uh so they set up camp ah tor thinks that he sees something in the woods but he dismisses it are you worried and concerned about what it is that may be laying in wait uh for them out in the forest don't you worry about it it will never be brought up again uh I know you guys were worried. Don't worry. You're fine. Loose threads. Loose threads. Just take a pair of scissors and cut them right off. Just take a lighter. Just burn off the ends there. Boom. Boom. That's not going to fray.
00:30:25
Speaker
h you get you're on You're set. You're set. Is that polyester? Good. That'll be fine. That'll last forever. Good. Chapter 14, Kaze and Melissa talk about the gods. She makes several really salient points about how much they suck and how awful they are because it's like peaceful.
00:30:48
Speaker
And she's like, yeah, it's really peaceful right now. with All the gods gone. It's kind of nice, isn't it? And Kaze is like, no, it was so it was super peaceful when when the gods were around. She's like, bitch.
00:31:00
Speaker
Blizzard, he's like, Blizzard's a benevolent god. She's like, yeah, and I've still seen him eat humans left and right just for the shit of it. yeah you know And by the way, they're probably going to kill us when this is all said and done. because they like about How do you think they get their full power back? they right kill us they're not going to They're not going to divvy this up with us. We're going to be so so think that one through. And that's a really good point. um So the bonehead triplets, as I like to call them, Tor, Eric, and Sinjin, they've set up their armies to fight Necroissant zombies. It goes very badly. um And they start losing almost immediately.
00:31:39
Speaker
um Our second team of supporting characters, ah Zhang, the the Saber Fang Claw Douche, and...
00:31:50
Speaker
um the beaver and and uh and the beaver and the beave and i think tom servo is in there somewhere yeah tom servo's in there they're they're all they're all there and uh the the little sister from uh from family matters you know the one who disappeared for a few seasons and then suddenly reappeared she's there um she's there ah Yeah.
00:32:16
Speaker
The younger brother from, ah or is it the older brother from, from happy days? Oh, the, the, ah the older one, right? Yeah. The old, it just went up the stairs. Never, never came. Never, never came back down. ah And a sentient double stuff Oreo.
00:32:30
Speaker
ah All of them are together at last. ah They, they, they morph into God. The avatar of, of the avatar of Hydrax. Yeah.
00:32:45
Speaker
sandwich sandwich and it's spelled w-i-t-c-h done yeah done done boom we're writers we got we're writers we got it don't you worry about it don't it's a gift it's a gift we can bang this out oh yeah just just hammer the motherfucker out uh so they they turn into the gods to lead chaos uh towards necrozone's castle uh This will nothing will come of this ah for the most part. um
00:33:15
Speaker
So we cut back to Sauron fighting Necroson, who points out his plan in in true James Bond villain style, tells him that the plan is now that the gods have split up their power with the avatars.
00:33:29
Speaker
All he needs to do is defeat the avatars, turn them into zombies, and that will make him de facto in charge of the gods, which is... Solid plan. Solid plan. Good plan, Necroson. Yeah, good plan, Necroson. Can't believe no one thought of that.
00:33:44
Speaker
but um Chapter 15. One of the teams of silver medalists meet the other one. and they start fighting Necroissant. They have time limits on their being gods, so they're like, oh, you gotta pace being monsters. that big That's a dumb rule. I don't remember that. So eventually they're all too weak, and they realize that they're going to have to they're all back to being avatars again, and they're all going to have to trust Kaze and Melissa wherever they are. Where's Chaos?
00:34:17
Speaker
Who the fuck knows? We will find out later, but it will not impress you. Um, K's and Melissa, meanwhile, find the bonds of forbidding and Dr. Shank, uh, Shank hints. I think one little Easter egg in this, uh, I, I hesitate to call it an Easter egg, but that's technically what it is, is, uh, he hints that the wasteland where the bonds are forbidding are, uh, is, is it's Vegas.
00:34:43
Speaker
ah yes it's It's Vegas. He's like, there used to be a temple to gambling and and debauchery here in this desert. And it's it's Vegas. It was just a detail that made me laugh.
00:34:54
Speaker
um Shank tells them he wants them to leave the Bonds alone. He's there to stop them because...
00:35:03
Speaker
Reasons. Yeah. Reasons. He says that. Yeah. I think the idea is that he likes that the bonds are around, even if they're not activated, because it means that it can put the gods in check. Basically, I think that's what he's getting at. But it's it's very vague and silly. Yeah.
00:35:22
Speaker
um And then he turns into a big stinky ape. Yeah, and throws some poop at them. Yeah, yeah exactly. And and chapter 16 opens with a big old ape fight, a big old Yeti versus ape action. um They're trapped. ah They trap Chaos using the magic door, ah the bonding door, which the whole point is that you have to break it. um and and if you put it back together it's it's it's silly it has to be put together ah to have the bonds work but it's a literal door and you have to break it problem is it's covered in snakes bronze snakes that turn real the moment you get that door get too close to it and so they trap chaos on the door ah drag them out throw them to the bottom of a pit and then just beat the shit out of the door just wreck the thing
00:36:17
Speaker
ah Melissa wants to celebrate with some smelly post-workout nookie. ah That is... It's it's it's like like you don't go down on your girlfriend after she's finished soccer club. you know It's like, just don't do it.
00:36:32
Speaker
um So with the bonds gone, ah the gods and the avatars fight side by side again. ah Then we get a castle rocket ship fight. Necroson runs to his castle, which blasts off into the sky. Into space. Into space. He says, you guys want to go to Alpha Centauri? You know, all that shit.
00:36:55
Speaker
Yeah, he's a wizard. He's a space wizard. There's a wizard on the moon. Yeah, we got Planescape now. It's... Yeah. So we get a castle rocket ship fight.
00:37:08
Speaker
Uh, blizzard finds the controls of the ship and smashes them. Uh, and they plummet to earth cause it is that simple. Um, he finds Kim case, his girlfriend saves her. Uh, and, uh, they hop off of the, uh, they hop off of certain doom.
00:37:26
Speaker
Uh, and, uh, and, uh, and, They assume Necroissant is dead because A, no one can survive that crash. Nothing can survive that. And B, all of the zombies all collapse at the same time, which is a little more black and white. ok yeah um Chapter 17, we got a big celebration. ah Blizzard ah is there and he's like, you know what? Kays should be here. And so he's like, Kays, we're going to switch places again. And Kays is like, oh, hold on, I'm doing something. And Blizzard...
00:37:57
Speaker
pops into a fucking Melissa's bedroom. And it's very clear that they've been fucking. ah ah It's, it's like, Oh, oh he, he's okay. And so Melissa expresses, and then ah Melissa asks Blizzard if he's a virgin monster fucker, Melissa confirmed.
00:38:22
Speaker
Monster fucker. yeah And you know what? It's, yeah, sure. I mean, why it makes sense. In this world? Fuck it. In this world, yeah. yeah where We're like 10 pages away from being done. Five, actually. Five, yeah. So fuck it. I don't care. Kaze is with Kim. He is literally contemplating how he's going to deal with his double wife situation he's in. He does not say to his ah his his main squeeze, by the way, I made a deal with uh to marry a psychopath uh in exchange for all of your lives uh he just kind of goes oh she's gonna be back we're gonna have to deal with her later it's like yeah you might want to yeah you need to explain yourself dude you're married brother I think this is I think this is a fuck boy case confirmed. I think i yes he's one of these like new age fuck boys like you can tell yeah that's what he does. And here's the thing. If the book was written today, I feel like we could have found a way for like Melissa to be their third.
00:39:23
Speaker
Sure. Sure. We could we could have just. Oh, Melissa would love that. In fact. We could have solved this with a threple, but this is the 90s, and ah the word hadn't been invented yet. Right, right. kim Kim's the one that would need convincing. Kay's is honor-bound, so he's there. He's doing that. yeah ah you know Melissa's kinky, so she's she's thinking about fucking a 17-foot-tall ape, so yeah I don't think a threple's going to throw her. It's Kim that they'd have to convince um So that's weird. But don't worry about it. ah Vertigo ah ah is digging through ah the remains of the castle rocket ship and finds some sort of egg and disappears with it. And the book's over. That's the end of the book. That's the book.
00:40:09
Speaker
that that bit Like it's it's they they didn't write a sequel book to this, right? No, this is it like this. This was meant to be the bridge between the first Primal Rage video game and Primal Rage 2, which was never released. um Right now you can Google.
00:40:28
Speaker
Primer H2 and they do have a shit ton of character models like they they basically had the game done from what I yeah can tell and they just didn't do it if you look up the character model for Kina the 15 year old you'll just be like well that's inappropriate I'm gonna do that
00:40:48
Speaker
That sounds worse than it meant. that That was not the tone of voice I meant. Yeah, they they get they're very cartoony. The thing is, is that like these are very cartoony characters, ah even compared to ah the the the original dinosaurs. I know we're dealing with like dinosaurs and giant apes fighting each other, and but but this is like almost claymation levels.
00:41:16
Speaker
of uh it's it's just kind of this is all very silly is what i'm getting at um it's all silly so kevin what would you what'd you think about primal rage avatars uh i it's bad um no i think there's a lot of here's the thing is the book starts off promising uh with like Right. Because we have these we have these guides and we have this sword and sorcery bullshit happening. We got we got a character named Balsavus. Where the fuck? I was waiting for him to come back. What the fuck? We didn't we didn't get Balsavus back. No Balsavus.
00:41:56
Speaker
And ah we had we had these like this little introductory chapters with like the guys who were the fucking um like founders of the religions of the gods. Yeah. And they're like that was interesting. And then we really don't spend much time with that.
00:42:15
Speaker
And then we're just telling a story where we get all of these. We got K's. We get K's and Melissa are would say basically the main characters. Yes, big time.
00:42:27
Speaker
And Melissa is very bad villain-coded, um but not really. She just really wants ah that K's D. Yeah. And K's is...
00:42:41
Speaker
Case, like, almost has no character at all. No, he's just kind of... He's like a lawful good paladin blah. Lawful good but paladin who is just... Ugh.
00:42:56
Speaker
I mean, lawful good monk, maybe. Yeah, yeah, probably more a monk. You're right. ah But still, just... and some He's so lawful good, he ends up double-crossing people because he's lawful good. He ends up double-crossing his fiancée and marrying another woman because he's lawful good.
00:43:17
Speaker
um like law he it's it's He's almost like horseshoe theory of lawful good into lawful evil. you know It's like, oh, I guess they're closer than you'd think.
00:43:28
Speaker
um Oh, yeah. Yeah, you you you follow the rules so much that you alienate everybody ah because you can't say no Yeah, so I think feel like for a video game that probably didn't... It was pretty bare bones in terms of what it was about. It's just an excuse for dinosaurs, dinosaurs, and ah and apes to fight each other. and There's nothing wrong with that. like and Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just...
00:44:01
Speaker
you have so many places you can go with the story that this just felt like, uh, okay. Um, and even though let's say like you have Primal Rage two and they they have the avatars concept in the, ah built into that game and you're writing that it based on that, you still have a lot of room to go.
00:44:25
Speaker
oh yeah um so i don't know. Uh, not a, not a huge ah fan of ah of it um probably at the bottom towards the bottom of the barrel it's should actually i should actually like ah start writing down the relative rankings of books that could be we cover on this show yeah yeah we should we'll do a tier we'll do a tier list and on a stream one day oh that's a great idea yeah we should totally do that we should totally do that we should totally do that yeah uh phil yeah what'd you think i agree uh you know you know those days when you're working a shitty job and you're kind of disillusioned about the whole thing and
00:45:16
Speaker
one morning you wake, it's like a Wednesday, and you wake up and you've got like this wild hair up your ass, and you're like, you know what? I'm going to make this fun. I'm going to have a fun day at work. i'm goingnna I'm going to make an extra coffee and like just kind of get cozy at my desk and, and just, just, I'm going to have a good day. Right. Exactly.
00:45:38
Speaker
By God, I'm going to make today work. And, and that's just all there is to it. And, and, and you go in and, you know, you're joking with your coworkers and you're, and like, you're, you're, you're really making it happen. But then by lunch, you, ah you, you are back ah to where you always are. And somehow even more depressed than usual. That's this book. Um,
00:46:00
Speaker
This book like started out with like this stupidest shit, like in a very self-aware, very fun way. And I just, I'm imagining the author going, you know what? I'm, I'm going to fucking have fun with this. I don't give a shit. This is the stupidest shit I've ever written. So let's lean into it. Let's enjoy ourselves. And, and, and he started to do it. And at a certain point, he just, you could just imagine him. You can just imagine him at the keyboard and he just kind of sags.
00:46:30
Speaker
he just goes, ah okay. Yeah. Melissa wants to fuck K's. Okay. Okay. All right. i'll have this I'll have this finished by next weekend, and then I can make the car payment. like That's that's yeah literally what this feels like. it's it that's what That's where it went.
00:46:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's that much more disappointing because it actually starts out with kind of a good head on its shoulders in terms of what it's trying to do. ah yeah It's trying to do something at first and then it's just not trying to do anything.
00:47:01
Speaker
It's not trying at all. Yeah. So, yeah. Okay. Well, that's, that's done and dusted. ah But good news is ladies and gentlemen, Kevin is bringing ah the, the, the good shit i know with bringing the next book.
00:47:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So don't you worry. we We'll be off next week just because I'm at a work event ah through after that, next wednesday ah but after that I'm bringing a i'm bringing an old ah i'm bringing a heater.
00:47:33
Speaker
oh So don't worry about it. it's ah we it's now that We haven't read the book. but No, no, but it's an friend. Prior experience with this author and and this series is any indication.
00:47:45
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Should be good. Should be good. So that'll be fun. ah ah Kevin, now that that we're done with that, I do have, i actually, before we finish up, I do have one last question I did want to ask you.
00:47:59
Speaker
Yeah, sure, sure. What are you playing? in Oh, okay. I have been playing, I'm still playing vampire crawlers. I think I'm pretty close to the end. I'm in the gallow tower.
00:48:11
Speaker
sure Yeah, that's, that's about the end. And I've, I've beaten all of the sub levels of the previous areas. Mm-hmm. So, you know, how you beat eat when you beat a level, it's like, okay, you can do it again with harder difficulty. And you just keep. So I've gone through and I've done all that. Now I'm in the ah the Pico de Gallo tower.
00:48:31
Speaker
um And ah I think there's a few people left to unlock as well. um But yeah, still having fun with it. It is moving a lot faster at a faster clip than like Vampire survival Survivors is ah You know what I'm excited for, though, is I know, i think, is is Warhammer Survivors going to be coming out this year? That should be this year. So that's going to be hopefully a delight, a little more of the same. ah Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
00:49:06
Speaker
Yeah, Warhammer Survivors. Yeah. Yeah. Last time I checked, it was still this year. Yeah. 2026. And it's just, it's, I mean, it's not made by Ponkel. It's just made by, like, it's made by Aurok Digital just licensing the, the quote unquote Vampire Survivors engine. yeah yeah it's like it's it's not it's it's technically not ripping off it's like no we're yeah this is fully meant to be vampire survivors with war yeah like they they and it's the same about that it's the same developer as bulk gun that's making it so that's right that's good yeah yeah it should be it's so it's just 2026 they have they lot two games coming out this year then yeah awesome
00:49:58
Speaker
So looking forward to that ah I have been look I have been playing though. What's probably my game of the year. oh ah Yeah ah Saros oh Okay, yeah, which is got me a reason to dust off my ps5 because the ps5 exclusive since house mark is ah owned by Sony now um but Well, Returnal was a PS5 exclusive, and then Sony would dip their toe into the, oh, we're going to release our games on PC.
00:50:30
Speaker
And then they did that for a while, and they were like, we're not doing that anymore. And so I don't think Saros is ever going to come to PC, unfortunately, unless they they go back on their word again. ah But ah anyway, Saros, amazing game starring...
00:50:46
Speaker
Rahul Kohli, who you might know from iZombie. You might know him from any one of Mike Flanagan's ah Netflix shows.
00:50:58
Speaker
ah You might know him from being just goddamn handsome. So goddamn handsome. so You might know him as the voice in ah and bolt gun the first Bolt Gun.
00:51:09
Speaker
ah You might know him as Alana Pierce's boyfriend. Ha ha ha ha! Just if it was any other man, you'd have to be mad. But you're like, oh, no, no, sir. Sir, beg your pardon.
00:51:25
Speaker
um Yeah, it's funny. I first saw him on iZombie and he was such so baby faced in in that show. um And he grew out that beard and his beard went gray and it unlocked the ability for him to play anywhere anywhere from 35 to show called We Were yeah um there's a show ah called we were liars uh that came out last year and i swear to god his character was supposed to be 50. um yeah yeah based on the age of like his kid and who he's married and all that um so it it's it's it's a fun little role expansion that he has there
00:52:09
Speaker
um But yeah, it stars Raul Coley as a, he's an enforcer on a space crew that has gone to a planet. ah The planet's ah name is, ah i'm i'm going to give you one guess. It's a location from
00:52:33
Speaker
a book that inspired a Lovecraft. Oh, God damn it. Carcosa? Carcosa. The name of planet is Carcosa. Very nice. Okay. Okay. Very nice. So the name of the planet is Carcosa, and they get there.
00:52:53
Speaker
ah They are the fourth team that has been sent to this planet. ah Team one was sent to establish a colony. Team two was to set up the ah was like set up the extraction of of resources. Team three was like scientists and all that. And team four was only sent after they lost contact with team three. um So team four is a team like with with a bunch of soldiers and enforcers. And you're one of these soldiers.
00:53:23
Speaker
um And ah the game actually kind of starts ah in medium in the in media res with you in the middle of like a cycle.
00:53:34
Speaker
And it's much like Returnal where it's ah there's a cycle element to it. And you're kind of just fighting your way through. you' You've kind of lost your mind a little bit. And it's there's a staged defeat um in this where I'm sure there's an achievement for beating the the boss that you run into on your first run through. ah And I imagine there's something that happens to you after that anyway to to get you dead.
00:53:59
Speaker
um And then you kind of teleport back to the base that you're in ah with what remains of the crew.
00:54:10
Speaker
So it's you've been here for a bit. um The only people that are left alive are the the the leader, Sheridan, and she looks like she's played by Linda Hamilton. I got to i want to check that real quick. Okay.
00:54:27
Speaker
Cause, uh, see. Saros.
00:54:33
Speaker
Action. Sci-fi.
00:54:37
Speaker
No. Woman named Jane Perry. Um, okay. Okay. So yeah, um she kind of has a Linda Hamilton look to her. um So yeah, you but she's like in charge and there's there ah one of the technicians and one of the pilots is left alive.
00:55:01
Speaker
as well and as ah and a botanist. And when you get there that first time back, basically one of the other enforcers named Tarn is like, his eyes are glowing yellow and he basically tries to kill one of the other crew members and ah Sheridan kills him before anything, or you kill him before anything happens.
00:55:23
Speaker
So that's kind of like the inciting incident is Tarn lost his mind. You killed him. um And one of your other enforcers who was out in the field, his name is Jerome. Like you're radioing it with back and forth with him the entire time as to like, oh, you know, shit's going bad. And Jerome's like, yeah, ah you got to to keep it together ah and all that fun stuff.
00:55:47
Speaker
Gameplay is tight. It's a bullet hell. um It's a bullet hell roguelite. ah So it's very much more of a roguelite than Returnal was. Returnal was closer, was still a roguelite, but closer to roguelike in that you didn't really have any permanent ah upgrades between runs in Returnal. You got equipment that allowed you new traversal mechanics and to access new areas.
00:56:17
Speaker
but you didn't actually level up or anything. In this, you do level up in between runs so that you're not starting from... um Like, the way you played Returnal was interesting. In order to get, like, to fully maxed out stats to build yourself up towards the ah the later biomes, you basically had to start from the beginning of the game and just do a full run.
00:56:43
Speaker
ah and and level yourself up and get your weapon, the best weapons and all that stuff. ah This lets you start at a certain level of of weapons um rather than having to do like a, oh, I'm going to start in the first biome and basically run, do a run all the way to the final one. Right.
00:57:04
Speaker
So still ah amazing. Love it so far. i will be I won't be surprised if they add more content as as things go go on because that's what they did with Returnal. um They added a true roguelike mode in Returnal ah called the Tower of Sisyphus. um Yeah. ah They like their they house mark really likes their allusions to ah to these things. Literature illusions.
00:57:36
Speaker
Yeah, because it's the planet's carcosa and the dominant theme is yellow. Well, there you go. That's yeah yeah I think that's that's pretty plain. Okay. Yeah. ah Yeah. ah So it's ah it's clearly very based on ah the elements from The King in Yellow.
00:57:59
Speaker
And it's kind of fascinating. It's also, i want to say ah it's it's kind of like the the Lost Colony of Roanoke.
00:58:13
Speaker
Oh, interesting. Okay. in a way because you're going there ah you're a team that is going there to find out what happened to everyone else and for the most part the only you do find survivors as you're playing um but the only other survivors that you find are a couple of members of your own team who basically not long after landing just kind of like fucked off and did their own thing. Right. um And then you find a couple people from the previous team, but ah echelons one and two are completely unaccounted for.
00:58:51
Speaker
And that's kind of the, the, uh, what you're unwiing unwinding, the mystery that you're unwinding as you, as you go through the game. So, uh, Yeah, it sounds like fun. Sounds cool.
00:59:03
Speaker
Yeah, I've been liking if you and if it's like that kind of game isn't your thing to to play or you don't have p s five It's worth watching and, you know, ah throw on a streamer that's playing it and and take a look. It's it's got a lot of movement. There's a lot of stuff happening on the screen. So you're at least going to have ah some some something entertaining to look at.
00:59:25
Speaker
Nice. ah So that is what I have been playing. Is that all I've been playing? Yeah, that's what I've been playing. Pro!
00:59:40
Speaker
What are you playing? Oh, uh, well, I, I finished, uh, vampire crawlers, um, and which is an odd feeling because, uh, unlike vampire survivors, this has a very definite end game.
00:59:56
Speaker
Uh, there is a, an end credit sequence, you know, all that shit. Um, it's, uh, so it it is its own beast in a way, uh, uh, like that. I, I had, uh,
01:00:08
Speaker
a great time with it uh there's still a lot of replayability there uh you can just keep going and i'm sure in you know ponkle style they will be adding on a bunch of shit as it goes goes along uh it actually put me in the in the headspace of wanting to play some old school dungeon crawlers so i think i might fire up an old dnd gold box game or or something like that um yeah Just to just it because it it really it hits those those same buttons and made me feel kind of nostalgic. They have those gold box games on on good old games, right?
01:00:44
Speaker
They do, but they've also got them on ah Steam, too. Oh, okay. Yeah, they recently re-released them on Steam. um by Recently, i think it was like a year or two ago. um So that was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it. ah It doesn't have the ah the addiction factor, I think, that Vampire Survivors has, which is fine. Yeah. it's that's that's totally okay it's totally fine um after i finished that i i uh booted up uh librarian tidy up the arcane library oh that sounds like a phil game if i ever heard one this is cute as uh and it's a very simple game the whole idea is that you are a librarian
01:01:29
Speaker
in a arcane library and some fairy came in and just knocked everything off the shelves and you are in a room filled with empty shelves and scattered books everywhere um and the whole thing is you've got a map of where the sections of the books are supposed to go and the whole thing is you're digging through all these books picking up the books and reshelving them in their proper sections in their proper order. And as a as a book guy, it is very satisfying. And it starts out very slow because i think one of the achievements is if you can do this in under three hours, which is nuts. But it seemed crazier to me
01:02:16
Speaker
when I hadn't played that much of it, but as you go in true wizarding fashion, you will, as you, as you finish rows of books, you level up and you can invest points in spells and there are spells that'll do things like if you're holding a book,
01:02:36
Speaker
that's called there There was a book called like Transmutation 101, Turning Food into Poop. ah That was one those. It's fucking fantastic. And there's like 10 volumes of this book.
01:02:47
Speaker
And so if I find volume six of it and I cast this one spell, ah all the other versions, all the other volumes of it will glow yellow for a limited amount of time. And I can keep leveling it up.
01:03:00
Speaker
uh to make that time go longer uh and then there are things like um if you're next to one of the books uh even if you can't see it or it's hidden underneath a bunch of the books uh you can you cast a spell and it'll hop into your hands so there are all of of these little little things like that that as you go along it gets easier and easier it it it gives you something Having said that, I played it for, let's see, I played it for two and a half hours, and I think i have put away...
01:03:33
Speaker
ah 20 out of 400 rows of books. It's like 3,000 some odd books. it is It is a long haul kind of a game, at least so far. But I'm really enjoying it. is It is one of those games that you can just like pop. I i pop in, I finish a row or two, i pop off. i it's It's good like that. And it's very relaxing. um It's meant to be, you know, the the term people use a lot now is cozy. It's a cozy game.
01:04:02
Speaker
And I really, i and it is it is absolutely ah scratching that itch. It's very, very nice. um I played a demo for a game called Crop Deck.
01:04:14
Speaker
um This is a deck builder um slash farming simulator. ah which i I was like, I'm listening. Okay. This came out last November and i just it just slipped past me, I guess. um But you work your way up.
01:04:36
Speaker
it's It's kind of like ah it's it's like a map system and you work your way up ah from one section of a farm to another and you ah you get cards that have different...
01:04:48
Speaker
Scarecrows and crops and you know water and pickaxes that you use to to to cut through you know rock and and set up you know and all that stuff. And it's it's it's it's it's the same game you've seen ah in a hundred different ways, but this one's centered around farming.
01:05:06
Speaker
um It's got a good sense of humor. ah It is fun. ah But as ah as I kind of implied just then, it doesn't really do much all that differently. So it didn't really inspire me sure to buy it. um but it it's But they did a good job with it. like i it's it's It's very well done.
01:05:26
Speaker
um I'm still playing Final Sentence. I'm pretty good at it.
01:05:35
Speaker
have never won any kind of battle royale I'm absolutely crushing this. I am kicking people's asses. ah it is it i want i won a ah round of it against other people the other day. And it wasn't even close. And it might have been bots. Who knows? But ah but I put those bots in their fucking place. I put those bots in the ground. ah They were all dead by the time I was done. And what a funny game. I hope they expand more on it. Because like I said, if if they could if they could get more...
01:06:07
Speaker
of a reward for what you're doing beyond just i'm just leveling up and there's nothing else to it they did update it so that they have a bunch of different stats that you can keep track of and that's interesting um and there are like seven achievements you can get but other than that it's it's it's just it doesn't have ah It doesn't have enough stuff right now for it to be a long-term game.
01:06:33
Speaker
ah and i And I know that that's ironic considering I've been talking about this game for months. Months. Months. But the fact of the matter is... And you played the demo last year, right? Yes, exactly. ah so So there's absolutely something there, but I've only been playing like 15 minutes of it every other day.
01:06:54
Speaker
ah So it doesn't have that kind of grip. ah And it could. I think it absolutely, if if it would, honest, I've said this before, if it just gave me the option of every time I level up, I can buy a new tchotchke for my desk, or I can, my avatar can be dressed in a certain outfit, or the guy, the executioner with the gun can have a different, you can buy him a different gun, a different mask, you know, a different typewriter, anything like that. If they could just add...
01:07:22
Speaker
that kind of reward factor into it. I think that adds real legs on this. Uh, that's, it's, it's, and that that's all it would take. I think it could be really, really good.
01:07:34
Speaker
Um, yeah, but that's me. That's, that's what I have played. Awesome. Uh, thank you all so much for listening to this episode. Go ahead and follow us on our social medias, go to the Patreon, go to our discord, uh, do all the things and remember Jonesy lives. Jonesy lives.