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Episode 97: Weird Science featuring Shelly Walston
104 Plays19 days ago
Shelly Walston, host of the podcast Your Roots Are Showing, is back and is further exploring her past with Weird Science (1985). For those who haven’t seen this John Hughes directed sex comedy, it’s about two young dweebs (Anthony Micheal Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith) who want to have sex so badly that they invent a whole person to do it with. It’s less about plot and more about growing up, with Robert Downey Jr. and Bill Pullman playing the closest thing we have to antagonists. Everything is done with complete commitment and verve from all, but it’s a premise that has aged like milk. Luckily Kelly LeBrock plays our Frankenstein’s monster and is the highlight of the 80's film that’s often remembered but actually forgotten. Not so today, tune in!
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Transcript
Introduction and Movie Character Comparisons
00:00:40
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to your favorite bad movie podcast. It's the only podcast that's brave enough to ask the question, if this movie's so bad, why do you like it so much?
00:00:53
Speaker
We're your hosts. My name is Chris Anderson. And with me as always is the Wyatt to my Gary, Mr. Greg Bossy. How are you, Greg? I am all right. I'm going to tell you right. Like today at some point I was like, God, I hope he calls me Wyatt.
00:01:09
Speaker
Oh yeah. yeah You're Wyatt for sure. I was just like, if anybody's Wyatt, it's me. Like I feel like I scream Wyatt. ah Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's your viewpoint. Okay. Yeah. All right. This makes total sense to me. Yeah, I'm doing good, Chris. How are you?
00:01:25
Speaker
I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty good. I'm very excited because obviously we have the Ian to my max, my lovely wife, Anna Anderson. How are you, my dove?
00:01:37
Speaker
Hello. um doing good. Yes. That's what we like to hear. And of course, she's beautiful.
00:01:48
Speaker
She's a luring. She's a sexual icon. She simply must be our own personal Lisa. It's returning guest,
Exploring 'Weird Science' Themes
00:02:00
Speaker
Shelley Walston. Hello, Shelley. Hello. Hello. Hi. Yes. um I don't think I've ever been called Lisa before, but i'm I'm glad that it can be today and in this context, especially if it comes with Electrical stimulating ability to make anything appear.
00:02:23
Speaker
Yes. Magical powers. 100 percent control over ah reality. Yeah. It's incredible. Yes. Sort of like a Freddy Krueger situation. Except in reality.
00:02:35
Speaker
Yeah. Except yeah you can't wake up. You don't want to wake up. Why would you? No, no. Listeners, of course, we're talking about weird science. Now, if you haven't seen the movie Weird Science, that means you're probably not between the ages of, I want to say, 37 58. But here's a ah brief summary to hold in your mind.
00:03:08
Speaker
A pair nerdy teenage boys use a computer to create a beautiful, horny woman, but end up getting a few life lessons for their trouble.
00:03:22
Speaker
And she has magical powers. I feel like that's spot on. Yeah. Yeah. But i'm glad you added the magical powers part.
00:03:32
Speaker
It is important to note. Yeah, and if you don't want the problematic age differences, you don't have to go any farther than that. Yeah. No, no you really It's best not to think about that part, but it is definitely ah a big part of this movie that it is about a 15-year-old desperately wanting have sex with an adult woman. yeah And that adult woman being very into that idea.
00:03:56
Speaker
yeah ah And the adult woman has electrical powers. Yes, she is also a form of djinn, I would say. yeah She's metaphysical.
00:04:08
Speaker
She's like Atnus, kind of. Kind of. From The Boy Who Saved Christmas. yeah i love can air I love that we can with Santa Claus's brother from The Boy Who Saved Christmas.
00:04:24
Speaker
So strange. I like to think of this as a a modern day and by modern day, I mean a 1985 modern day version of like Pygmalion and Galatea.
00:04:38
Speaker
Oh, sure for sure. That makes it so much easier to swallow. Yeah. Yeah. It is part of a rich literary tradition. I want to say, you know, as a tale as old as time truly. ah So it's got like bones in it,
Initial Reactions and Movie Plot Summary
00:04:55
Speaker
but, but we'll get to that. Shelly first, I want to hear about why you chose weird science.
00:05:01
Speaker
ah So I think it's pretty solidly established, especially on this podcast. that I have a thing for Kelly LeBrock. Yeah, understandably. Yeah, naturally.
00:05:14
Speaker
I mean, who doesn't? um That's one thing you and Steven Seagal have in common. Oh, I feel like a special select few. and you know Actually, it's interesting because I was telling people about this movie and how they should not watch it. No, not really. No, I mean, like, yeah. And I said, but it's got Kelly LeBrock in it. And they're like, who? Kelly who? And so I pulled up a picture of Kelly LeBrock and, you know, all of them did agree with me that it's it's right and good that I have a serious crush on Kelly LeBrock since 1985.
00:05:51
Speaker
So I'm just going to say this goes down in the, like, reasons for loving this movie just because I have a fond place in my heart.
00:06:02
Speaker
for for Kelly LeBrock. And I also, I think, i just wanted to be Gary. Mm-hmm. Gary's a very relatable character. You are also the Gary of the show.
00:06:14
Speaker
I feel like I definitely... was a total nerd. i feel like, I mean, point blank, I was a total nerd and yeah, i i thought it would have been cool to have like the hottest lady person ever on my arm.
00:06:30
Speaker
Yeah. so mean I don't think you need to be a nerd to want that. You know what I mean? It's a fairly commonplace desire. It turns out. ah Yeah. Also, I love women's gymnastics. Like I tried to be a gymnast and I failed at it. So I mean, I guess it makes sense.
00:06:48
Speaker
Yeah, it all ties in. Do you remember how old you were when you first saw Weird Science? I think I must have been like 12. twelve Okay.
00:06:59
Speaker
and Okay. So I could see how this would imprint on you. Oh yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I was born in 79. came out in 85. I didn't see it when I was six. I certainly did not. I know it was definitely like a VH tape that we rented from the Dylan's videotape rental store.
00:07:19
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I asked so much about your history with it because I know that you have started your new podcast and now seems as good a time to bring it up as any. ah Your roots are showing about people's like touchstone awakening pieces ah ah regarding their sexuality. You could probably describe it better than I could. please Yeah. So it's um Your Roots Are Showing is a podcast ah with me and my friend, Michael, and we're putting it together. It's basically a queer Q&A. So folks come on, we have a chit chat. We ask them, like, what is a queer root for you? um And for people who don't maybe know, I don't know, I guess I'm kind of in the age group of queers who, when we sit down, it invariably comes up in conversation like, oh yeah, that's a root. And what we mean by that is just like this, this one moment in your childhood or your adolescence, or even like into your twenties, thirties, that just kind of
00:08:29
Speaker
flip the switch for you. And so, yeah, that's really our goal with the podcast. Your roots are showing. I always, the line actually comes from another favorite and problematic film, Shag starring Bridget Fonda and Annabeth Gish. one of the main characters, Bridget Fonda, she's a blonde and she has terrible roots and it's set in the deep South and out there.
00:08:57
Speaker
and somebody haul as hollers at her, your roots are showing. yeah And it just makes me laugh every time I hear it, but also connect to it in this like this lusty little bit of awakening that I had with these nineteen eighty s camp films a fantastic that sounds fascinating listeners check it out this episode they should be coming out sometime around now if your episode has not come out by now it should be out soon so listeners keep an eye out for your roots are showing and yeah mentioning bridget fonda ann and i watched over valentine's day point of no return
00:09:43
Speaker
We did. Which is definitely a root of my sexuality, but it's not applicable to this show. Bridget Fonda in that movie is incredibly beautiful. What a baberino. Oh my God.
00:09:57
Speaker
ah Greg, have you seen Weird Science before? So that's a good question because I thought that I had – so this is what I recall of Weird Science is like my brother really wanted to see it. He was at that age where like this would be like kind of perfect for him, you know. Yeah. And – and So I remember it like being a thing, like wanting it to be in our house and it got in the house. It was PG-13 or whatever. So it wasn't really a problem for him to see it, you know, in the family, like John Hughes. I'm pretty sure that we rented it or something. So I recall like having seen it pretty quickly when it came on VHS and never again.
00:10:37
Speaker
yeah But the only memory I had of it turned out to not even be in the movie. So like i remember I remember her getting made into a person. And then I also remember like, and then there's like this scene where it's like they like leave and like the ooze falls on like a picture of a monster and a monster becomes real. It's like that's from something else or my brain. Yeah.
00:10:57
Speaker
I don't know where that came from. It was not in the movie whatsoever. So have I seen this movie before? It's a good question. ah But so effectively, this was more, this was effectively my first watch of the film.
00:11:13
Speaker
What did you think? ah it's for someone who's much younger than me and is a little it's a little confused, I feel like, at times. Yeah. yeah it's Yeah, i won't I won't say everything yet, but yeah, we'll get into it.
00:11:32
Speaker
What about you, Anna? Do you have a background with weird science? i I did not. i i had I wasn't sure how much of it I had seen, but i I realized pretty quickly that I'd only seen clips from it in out of context ah because there was a lot of the story that I did not know and really could not have predicted. This
Production Insights and Improvisation
00:12:01
Speaker
movie was not as predictable as I thought it was. It was it is definitely, though, yes, like Greg said, it's a difficult movie to watch forever.
00:12:11
Speaker
for the first time when you're three times older than the main characters. it's It's a challenge. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny for like all the sort of millennial eighties nostalgia there is, there's not a lot for weird science, not as much as you would think that there ought to be. Yeah. Because it it is, i think it has a very recognizable name and theme song. Yeah.
00:12:37
Speaker
But I think to some of the clips, because like her just saying, like, what do you want to do now? You two little monsters or whatever it is like, I have seen that a lot because I have watched MTV and VH1 and I have seen like I love the eighty s or all these other clip shows or you've seen some kind of extended breakdown. It's like, you know, this movie, despite the fact that you may have never seen the movie.
00:13:04
Speaker
Yeah, it it certainly has like a lot of very powerful memetic images that are mostly based around how hot Kelly LeBrock is. yeah Yeah. But I and I also remember one of my like local radio stations when I was growing up would use clips of Kelly LeBrock in like their morning zoo crew soundboard.
00:13:27
Speaker
Yeah. be like you know chips dips chains whips and yeah so what do you two little maniacs want to do now like those two were definitely on the soundboard we're not talking candle wax on the nipples or anything like that yeah yeah yeah another great line from movie yeah it's true there are just a lot of things that like hit but overall it's like Well, I think there are a lot of reasons why it doesn't quite hold up. And, you know, I think it is like if you're out there saying like, oh, weird science isn't a bad movie. Why is it on this podcast? That's a classic. It's not a classic, dude.
00:14:08
Speaker
No, that is best no, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is listed on the Wikipedia page as it is the film is regarded as a cult classic. And i strongly disagree. i strongly disagree.
00:14:23
Speaker
Yeah. The only reason why you would be thinking about this movie at all is if it was one of the first things that ever made you horny. And... Yeah.
00:14:34
Speaker
It's understandable why it would. It was like weird science. It's like, that's either the one where they make a woman or that one with Val Kilmer. Yeah. ah What was that? One my science projects.
00:14:45
Speaker
That was real genius. Real genius. Yeah. So it's it's just like, it's one of those, its one is it's in the nerd genre when instead of it being like, oh, the nerds are nerdy and they're getting back. It's like the nerds might be okay, or at least they're having sex.
00:14:59
Speaker
even yeah it is in that sort of weird nerd sex comedy subgenre that existed in the 80s yeah yeah uh well you guys want to ah get into the context research that i put into this show yeah let's unpack it please okay then where is there we go there's the mouse cursor there's the bumper
00:15:33
Speaker
I wish I had some context about the background of the film. Script, character, actors on set. What was going on on screen?
00:15:43
Speaker
want to hear some details. Gossips can't do all that shit. Can't imagine all that.
00:16:01
Speaker
So Weird Science came out August 2nd, 1985. 41 years old, this movie. Jeez. Yeah, weird to think about. I love it This would have been like if they made a podcast when we were five years old, a movie that took place during World War II.
00:16:20
Speaker
ah Don't do that to me. What?
00:16:26
Speaker
What?
00:16:28
Speaker
um They didn't even have podcasts then, Shelly. Don't worry about it. It didn't happen. Taglines are, ah I'm sorry. Our director is John Hughes. Taglines. We got five of them.
00:16:40
Speaker
Tagline number one. They went from zeros to heroes in one fantastic weekend. Sure. Sort of.
00:16:51
Speaker
i mean it's not lighting any fires, but it's not putting any fires out. You know what I mean? Heroes seems like a tiny stretch, but okay, I'll take it. Yeah. yeah It does rhyme.
00:17:02
Speaker
Yeah.
In-Depth Plot Analysis and Critique
00:17:03
Speaker
Zeros and heroes does rhyme. Tagline number two. Something weird is happening at Wyatt and Gary's. Oh, boo. That's not a good one. yeah I kind of like it. Okay. So I'm not opposed to it, but again, it's not doing anything for me.
00:17:22
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Maybe number three. It's all in the name of science. Weird science. All right. That's better.
00:17:33
Speaker
yeah Okay. Okay. Tagline number four. This one I think is going to hit you. This one I think is the most accurate. Okay. Okay. It's purely sexual. Yes, obviously. No, no, obviously.
00:17:47
Speaker
i feel like That's a thing I say in life, so I'm all for it. Yeah, it works. yeah It's a weird tagline for a PG-13 movie, though. Of course. Well, it's a weird concept for a PG-13 movie.
00:18:02
Speaker
It is. We're going to make a woman have sex with in our PG-13 movie. Are you? Yeah, but we're not going to sex with her. She's not even going to be nude. No, no, no. There's no none of that.
00:18:13
Speaker
No. She's not going to be nude, but there is nudity. I was trying to remember if there was or not, actually. Is it PG-13? It is, right? It is. yeah So you get one quick flash, as I recall. yeah oh Well, and Bill Paxton's butt. Yeah, as you say, do see do we see MB? Oh, yeah. A little BN? Yeah, butt nudity. And then you see some breasts, so you also get a BN. You get the both types of BN.
00:18:39
Speaker
Yeah. Tagline number five. If you can't get a date, make one. Sure. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. know I mean, it feels, it feels gross, but it is accurate and I feel like it's catchy.
00:18:57
Speaker
Yeah. I think number three is the one that i like the best. it's I'm going, it's purely sexual. Yeah. I'm definitely sticking with four. It's purely sexual.
00:19:07
Speaker
Yeah. So, uh, in the nineteen fifty s EC Comics published a sci-fi comic called Weird Science.
00:19:19
Speaker
In issue number five of Weird Science, there was an eight page story called Made of the Future about a guy that hitches a ride to the distant year 2150 with a group of time traveling tourists.
00:19:34
Speaker
While he's there, he buys a construct a wife kit, which he brings back to 1959 and uses it to build his perfect mate.
00:19:44
Speaker
Wow. know The name of this comic is build a maid, M-A-I-D, or build a mate, M-A-T-E. It's called made of the future, M-A-D-E.
00:19:55
Speaker
Oh. So little play on words. Okay, okay. There was construct a wife, which was the name of the kit. And it's in a magazine called Weird Science.
00:20:06
Speaker
Yes. or a comic. Yes. A comics magazine published by EC Comics, premier publisher of horror and crime comics of the era. So in the early 1980s, Hollywood super producer Joel Silver bought the film rights to EC Comics, and he wanted to adapt Made of the Future as an 80s teen comedy.
00:20:30
Speaker
Wow. hi Joel Silver is, of course, the latest member of the Two Timers Club. let say we've heard this name before. Joel Silver was a producer on Xanadu. Check out our episode on Xanadu.
00:20:44
Speaker
Yeah. This one's not. This one is no Xanadu. No. No. Very different. No. much less joyous. It does have a good theme song, though. It's true.
00:20:55
Speaker
But it also has some really great glittery costumes. Oh, sure. Yeah, there's a lot to like. I'm not saying there's not a lot to like, but it it doesn't quite become a stew. You know what I mean? It's a weak skin broth.
00:21:09
Speaker
So yeah, he wanted to do an 80s teen comedy, and luckily he was already in business with the king of eighty s teen comedies, Mr. John Hughes. Now, at this point in his career, John Hughes was more of a comedy writer than director, having written Mr. Mom and National Lampoon's Vacation, two very big hits.
00:21:29
Speaker
And he had also written his directorial debut, Sixteen Candles.
00:21:35
Speaker
Now, when he started working on ah Weird Science, he was in the middle of filming his sophomore effort, The Breakfast Club. I've read a couple of contradictory sources on the timeline, but it looks like he wrote the script to weird science in two days while filming the breakfast club.
00:21:56
Speaker
Okay. That just sounds like he really wanted to take Anthony Michael Hall's character from the breakfast club and like give him a sophomore year.
00:22:08
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Anthony Michael Hall is definitely like a director's surrogate for old John Hughes. o Yeah, I could see that. It's like an Alain Delon.
00:22:23
Speaker
Yeah. Absolutely. Definitely. No, no, no. That's not what I mean. um No, he's Werner. He's ah the Kinski. He's, ah you know. He's Herzog's Kinski.
00:22:37
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you can also sort of tell that this was written in two days. Yeah. It has that kind of feel. it It could use another draft. I also feel like there's a good dollop of improvisation in a couple of scenes, which would also explain some of the, like, you don't have a full script. or It's like, they're doing this thing, and they'll figure out what they say. Yeah.
00:22:59
Speaker
I trust Anthony. It's also... Very much not his genre. I mean, it's a teen sex comedy. That's his genre. But it's also sci-fi in a way that I don't think he has a complete handle on.
00:23:14
Speaker
don't know. Maybe he doesn't have to. Because, you know, the comic it's based on. Yeah. We don't have... Yeah, I think if you read it like a comic, it it holds together better than if you read it like hackers or something.
00:23:28
Speaker
That's fair. I think also he doesn't normally do madcap. I think of John Hughes as being very sincere and this is very arch. And I think that's why it feels like an awkward fit. It's it's there's also a strange amount of like sincerity to the commitment in a lot of the bits that you don't typically see out it like they made sets for just like specific moments. It's like that's a lot of commitment for like kitchen. Yeah. That's specifically what I'm thinking of amongst other things. Yeah. But it's just like you see a level of like thinking about comedy in a way you wouldn't see from comedic, regular comedic actors or makers because it's like it just takes a lot of time and you got to sell it properly with direction and editing and everything.
00:24:16
Speaker
So that was weird to see. Weird? Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:24
Speaker
Filming began pretty quickly after breakfast club wrapped. Uh, it was mostly shot around Chicago in classic John Hughes style, though there was some studio footage shot in LA. The characters in the movie attend Shermer high school, which is the same high school as the breakfast club. And he was actually reused some footage from 16 candles of the exterior of the high school.
00:24:46
Speaker
You can see the exact same footage in the same two movies. Now, Shermer High was the only thing brought with him from Breakfast Club. He also brought along star Anthony Michael Hall. Hall had turned down returning as Rusty in National Lampoon's European Vacation to star in Weird Science. So he clearly believed in the picture, or at least the paycheck that he was getting for it.
00:25:07
Speaker
Slash the chance to work with Kelly LeBrock. Yeah, yeah. Seeing in the script that you're going be hanging out with a sexy lady all day, I bet that ill sweetens the pot a little bit for however old he was at the time. Yeah.
00:25:21
Speaker
He worked with Hughes for a while serving as onscreen surrogate in assorted teen pictures until he turned down the role of Cameron in Ferris Bueller's day off in 1986. After that, they stopped working together. Yeah. It's weird to think of him in that role, isn't it? Yeah.
00:25:39
Speaker
And Alan Ruck was like 30 at the time. So I don't think the age would have been an issue. I think, yeah, I think Hall was afraid of getting too locked into this teen role. And it was a little bit too late for that anyway. as just hey Instead, he's gone on to do whatever it was that he did that wasn't that.
00:25:58
Speaker
He was on a season of Reacher. Okay. Yeah. and good for Good for Anthony Michael Hall. He also had, he, he had that terrible um show, the, the Johnny D good.
00:26:12
Speaker
that don eighty eight And Ferris Bueller's day off was what? Like 86. Oh, okay. Okay. So yeah. But he also, he that weird season of Saturday night live, you know, he was trying to find something else to do and he just couldn't find it.
00:26:29
Speaker
Yeah. Poor guy. So Kelly LeBrock was the first choice for the role of Lisa, ah but she was vacationing in Southern France at the time.
00:26:41
Speaker
ah So they brought on swimsuit model, Kelly Emberg. She was also Rod Stewart's girlfriend, had a child by Rod Stewart. LeBrock or Emberg? Kelly Emberg.
00:26:53
Speaker
ah She was a swimsuit model and she was fired after several days into filming. ah Probably not a particularly good actress. Luckily, at that point, LeBrock had become available and flew out ah and she saved the day.
00:27:12
Speaker
They did have to reuse some of ah Emberg's costumes, so these might not have fit the way that LeBrock might have liked. Imagine how good she would have looked if the clothes had fit. Wow.
00:27:23
Speaker
I have no complaints. It's true. Yeah, none. Yeah. and do I they mean, they seem to fit her very well. But yeah then again, we don't see all of the backs. I think that's where a lot of a lot of not fitting of costumes is clutched together. yeah yeah So filming wrapped just before Christmas 1984, and it was released to theaters eight months later.
00:27:52
Speaker
Critics and audiences responded well. Weird Science took in $39 million on a $7.5 million dollars budget. Though was largely now thought of as one of Hughes' lesser works, it still is a cult following among people who discovered something about themselves at a young age by looking at Kelly LeBrock.
00:28:11
Speaker
Other comedies of 1985. Teen
00:28:16
Speaker
teen comedies specifically. We got some big ones. You got The Goonies. Classic. Yeah. Millennial Touchstone. You got Teen Wolf.
00:28:27
Speaker
Another classic. I love Teen Wolf. yeah ah You got The Breakfast Club, also from John Hughes. Banger after banger. Yeah. You've got Just One of the Guys.
00:28:40
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Do I know that movie? It's so the one about the gal who goes undercover as a boy to so she can be a newspaper reporter. All balls itch. Oh, yes. Yes. Okay. I i do remember this movie.
00:28:57
Speaker
No, I have no recollection of this. It was a Comedy Central staple. Yeah. And the main guy is the same. Oh, God. What is that main guy's name? The Blondie.
00:29:10
Speaker
He was in The Bromwiches. Yeah. William Zepka is in there as the bully. Yeah. I do remember that. you also ah You also got better off dead this year. okay Why isn't that my movie that I love? That that would have been such better movie to talk my God. Do you have any idea of the street value of this mountain? ah But to be fair, if you had imprinted on John Cusack, your life would have been very different.
00:29:38
Speaker
No, I also did imprint on John Cusack. Okay, fair That's fine. ah You got real genius. Like we were just talking about the nerd of sons. ah Also similarly, arguably back to the future.
00:29:51
Speaker
Yeah. And, and also this year you got ah girls just want to have fun. Check out our episode about girls just want to have fun. They
Final Ratings and Listener Reviews
00:30:00
Speaker
do. They do that. What a fun movie that is. Oh my God.
00:30:05
Speaker
All right. You guys want to talk about the the plot of weird science? Yeah. Let's go. Let's do it.
00:30:30
Speaker
Plot bumper, listen to me. I'm gonna give you the plot summary. Come on, baby. Here's the synopsis.
00:30:42
Speaker
Plot bumper, plot bumper.
00:30:55
Speaker
So we get a brief cold open on Wyatt and Gary played by Anthony Michael Hall and Elan Mitchell Smith. And there are two nerdy protagonists. Gary is a little bit loquacious and Elan is a little bit more, or Wyatt is a little bit more retiring, a little bit more shy, a little bit more ah in need of self-assurance. Also, I want to i would do want to point out that by nerds, we just mean that they're not liked and uncool. Like, they're not like nerds. Right, yes. They're into anything kind of nerdy. Well, Wyatt's into computers. computer sure so So he's into computers, by which I mean that he owns a computer, and then after that, he does what with them?
00:31:37
Speaker
He hacks into NORAD. But, I mean, that's during the whole making a woman sequence. Like, he's not hacking into NORAD outside of that. No, he has no call to.
00:31:50
Speaker
I don't think he knows that. mean, he knows how to do that. I'm just saying that for someone who's into computers, what he does is use a computer twice to do the same thing twice.
00:32:04
Speaker
They don't spend a lot of time establishing why it's computer cred. I'll grant you that. yeah i also Or you could just say that they don't and that he doesn't have it standing behind Wyatt. I really am. I was happy to be called Wyatt. I was happy to be called Wyatt. Here's the deal. I think that Wyatt was previously very, very, very, very interested in computers. Sure.
00:32:31
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. No, there's much we can infer from what we've seen. I'm just saying it's inference. No, no, no. And it was because of Lisa, his preoccupation for like three days.
00:32:44
Speaker
That yes we didn't get more like thorough establishment of his computer wizardry. Yeah. It would be weird if was like, Lisa, can you just go entertain yourself for a while? I want a computer.
00:32:57
Speaker
Lisa, would you expect this binary code for me? Sure. Lisa, I've organized my box of punch cards. Yeah.
00:33:07
Speaker
I mean, they do freaking. They do freaking with the cradle. So there's that. yeah you know that's It's authentic in that regard. Someone's seen War Games. Yeah.
00:33:18
Speaker
Yeah. It checks out. So anyway, these two dorks, they're hanging out the high school gym in their gym clothes, watching high school gals practice gymnastics and drooling all over their shirts and fantasizing about being popular and throwing a party before bullies Ian and Max pants them in front of everybody.
00:33:43
Speaker
Yeah. Very embarrassing. Flash cut to our opening credit theme song. Is it ah Ian or Max? That's Robert Downey Jr. Ian.
00:33:57
Speaker
Thank you. Yes. Yes. ah And obviously the the theme song and the title logo are both like really iconic. We're going to have the theme song as our outro song today. Yes.
00:34:11
Speaker
Little oingo boingo. Yes. Classic oingo boingo. ah Now, ah then we cut to Wyatt's house, a beautiful upper middle class mansion in a Chicago suburb.
00:34:26
Speaker
Wyatt's parents are out of town for the weekend, but they've left him under the watchful eye of his older brother, Chet, who is an asshole played by pi pax Bill Paxton. Chet, I think, definitely hilarious in this movie. I want to say consistently fantastic. I love Chet.
00:34:42
Speaker
He's fantastic. Yeah, he's very good. I just love to hate him. Yeah. yeah i used to i used to think that I didn't like Bill Paxton as an actor, but I've come to recognize that what it is is he's very good at playing unlikable characters.
00:34:58
Speaker
Yeah. And so I actually do like Bill Paxton. He's doing a great job every time. ah Gary has come by for a sleepover ah right around the age when you'd want to stop doing that in the 15 to 16 year old age.
00:35:13
Speaker
The two of them watch a colorized version of James Wales Frankenstein, which gives Gary the schemer of the two, the bright idea of creating a woman.
00:35:25
Speaker
They won't use dead bodies though. Instead, they will use why it's top of the line computer to simulate a girl. This way they could, you know, ask it questions, learn what girls like. This is,
00:35:40
Speaker
almost reaching into the future to our modern age of AI relationships. No, it's very prescient in a strange way. The way that they feed it, the information is so, yeah. Yeah. It's just like cutting out magazine pages and sliding them into a scanner to just be like, here's culture computer. Here's culture. Yeah. yeah yeah Kelly LeBrock, Einstein, ah big boobs, hentai,
00:36:08
Speaker
karate yeah front page of deviant art yeah uh and obviously if you had this on uh in this day of age you would throw in 3d printing and boom you could just remake this movie for today's youth very easily Wait, are we suggesting a remake?
00:36:29
Speaker
i don't know what we yeah i don't know I don't know what we're suggesting. You could make it for today's youth, but but I don't think you would. i don't think it's a great idea.
00:36:39
Speaker
inappropriate. It's so inappropriate. and So at first they're only able to generate some wireframe boobs, ah but then why it hacks into NORAD to steal some of their processing power. And we get a fun montage of them feeding in pages of magazines, using them to define their perfect woman, including several pictures of Kelly LeBrock.
00:37:03
Speaker
And finally they hook up a Barbie doll to a pair of electrodes where bras on their heads and press enter. Mm-hmm. I would like to just point out that I really do believe that somehow John Hughes got his hands on like B-Reel from Max Hedron videos on MTV for that computer montage segment.
00:37:29
Speaker
It's really great. It's so great. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, yeah it's very funny it It feels like one of the better like I'm hacking montages I've seen in a film, actually, which feels insane to say.
00:37:42
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But especially of this era. do Yeah. to This was yeah what was in 1985? Well, I mean, it came out in 85. So this was 1984. I mean, but it felt like very Tron.
00:37:55
Speaker
Like I stylized very Tron stylized. I also like that on his keyboard, ah the enter button had two red flashing LEDs built into it. that Really nice. So cool. Yeah. You always know where the enter button is at any given time.
00:38:13
Speaker
So this causes all hell to break loose. Lightning bolts, rolling blackouts across Shermerville, Illinois, you name it. They try unplugging Wyatt's computer. It doesn't work.
00:38:25
Speaker
ah And then they throw the computer outside. Still doesn't work. And then the door to Wyatt's en suite bathroom explodes. Stepping out of the smoke, bathed in pink the lightning.
00:38:39
Speaker
It's Kelly LeBrock in a crop top sweatshirt and very tiny blue panties. What an entrance. Instantly iconic. yeah This is what you're building your movie around.
00:38:51
Speaker
yeah Yes. Yes. Absolutely. And she says her first line. So what would you little maniacs like to do first?
00:39:02
Speaker
And they're obviously their first choice is to hop in the shower with her. But they both keep their pants on. They don't want and their sneakers. Pants and sneakers. Yeah. They don't want her to see their feet. They're probably weird.
00:39:20
Speaker
So the knight is young. So she whips up some suits for them and also a pink Cadillac and drives them into town. She has various magical powers that are sort of loosely defined, but also claims to be completely subservient to the boys.
00:39:38
Speaker
LeBrock would later describe her character, as who the boys named Lisa, as a sort of erotic Mary Poppins. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:50
Speaker
Yeah. She is perhaps mischievous, but mostly in the best service of Gary and Wyatt. Yeah. I mean, she does give very, like, mommy vibes in the way that she's trying to teach Wyatt to stand up for herself.
00:40:05
Speaker
Like, absolutely very mommy. Yeah. But at the same time, trying to hit on them a lot infrequently. Yeah. Also, i would like to say that ah I think she's just incredible in this film. As far as like her performance goes, it is, like I think, levels above anyone else in this film.
00:40:24
Speaker
She's really good. She's extremely good like she I feel like she brings the movie alive when she's on screen. And it is just from her performance and her energy and her just excitement at whatever it is she's doing.
00:40:38
Speaker
Well, it's just her effortless cool. know like She just exudes confidence and yeah like not giving two shits about what anybody else thinks about her yeah and knowing that whatever she does, it's going to work. And if it doesn't, she can like snap her fingers and make whatever appears so that it does work.
00:41:02
Speaker
And she's having a good time doing it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Now, uh, uh, so they go to a blues club called the candy bar. spell Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:18
Speaker
Uh, the boys get drunk and Gary tells a group of old black men about a 13 year old that he used to know with giant breasts.
00:41:30
Speaker
If you were being generous, you might describe his voice in this scene as talking jive. It was so terrible. It's very difficult and it goes on for long amount of time. And when you think it's not, when you think it is finally over, it keeps going and then you think it's done and then it shows up one more time.
00:41:49
Speaker
Yep. get He does have one of my favorite lines in that terrible talk though. Yeah. It's the moment when Wyatt is driving them home.
00:42:00
Speaker
I don't want to cut too fast. No, no, no, no. So Wyatt is driving them home and he almost runs a red light and has to like swerve the wheel. And Gary is in the backseat, just drunk out of his mind. And he like rolls around in the backseat. And then Lisa turns around and says, are you okay?
00:42:19
Speaker
And he says, Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect. I don't know how many times as a child I rewound that to figure out what the hell he says.
00:42:36
Speaker
Because he says it so like garbled. yeah And then I went through a period in my 15 to 17 year age where people would ask me how I'm doing and I would say, well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect. um It's a fine response.
00:42:54
Speaker
I was insufferable. That's fair. Yeah. Did you, as long as you didn't do the voice, I think it's fine. Yeah. No, I did not. No, no, no. You weren't talking jive when you did then? ah No, no. Good. ah Yeah. Unfortunately he does do this. And I don't want to say that it wasn't at times funny. I think there were funny moments in there, but it was overwhelmed by just how like unpleasant it was. Yeah. You really could not let yourself enjoy it. It's so weird to see someone committing so hard and then it being to that and just being like, well, that's, that's sort of unfortunate. That's really unfortunate actually. Yeah. Yeah. And then when he does it in the next scene, you're like, okay. Yeah. You still committed.
00:43:38
Speaker
yeah And then when you get it one more time. he Yeah. like, let it go. And don't you just wonder if John Hughes was like, yeah, do it again. Do it again. Do it again. John Hughes was cringing. So they have like a moment before they go out where they like have a discussion about what they're wearing. That felt very like, honest like it was improvised and then that thing seeing that is like I think a lot of this is they're letting Anthony Michael Hall do some improv and this is where they should have cut him off even at the time it's like you really like this is too like you're yeah no really milking the joke too much this scene is not working like this yeah no yeah
00:44:20
Speaker
Unfortunately, ah well, eventually it does stop happening. Thank goodness. Yeah. ah They try to sneak back in ah Lisa goes and hides somewhere outside. Chet catches them and busted their balls a little bit.
00:44:34
Speaker
And then Gary passes out and Wyatt gets a little bit of alone time with Lisa. The two of them practice kissing and Lisa grabs his butt and they talk about why it's romantic wishes and aspirations before we tastefully cut away.
00:44:52
Speaker
And you sort of get the vibe that these two guys are in the sort of dog that caught the car situation. You know what I mean? true example of they wouldn't know what to do with it if they got it.
00:45:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I also, that scene where Lisa kisses Wyatt and and she grabs his ass um as if that is like the secret code for good kisses.
00:45:19
Speaker
um And I just think it's because there's a callback to it later at the end. Oh, yeah. And I just want to be like... Did John Hughes's teenage self think that grabbing ass as the secret move? Because I really don't know. No. no So, yeah. man I was going say, don't knock it till you tried it.
00:45:44
Speaker
Okay. ah So the next morning, the boys wake up in bed and they assume it was all a dream. But wait, how could they have had the same dream?
00:45:58
Speaker
That's when they hear Lisa whipping up some breakfast. Wyatt goes downstairs to say hi, and we learned that he woke up wearing her panties and belly shirt. ah But it turns out that he passed out before they could do the nasty.
00:46:13
Speaker
Good. yeah Thank God that. No, a lot of ways. It's complicated, right? Because she's not a person. But she is. She's a person. She's not a human.
00:46:26
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. No, no, no. no's This whole thing is weird, man. The whole thing is weird. I mean, but's be humanity the concept of like making a person because you sexually desire them is ah just on its face, pretty bizarre and gross.
00:46:42
Speaker
So it's like when we try to pick apart the intricacies of this scenario, I don't know if we're ever going to come up with a, with an answer we like. No. And can I also just say that for, uh,
00:46:55
Speaker
I do want to point out that never in my life, and this honest to goodness truth. me Never in my life. Did I think that Wyatt and Lisa like did a closed door almost had sex situation. I honestly took it at face value that he just wanted her to do gymnastics.
00:47:14
Speaker
o Fair enough. yeah But then why was she wearing her clothes? I mean, that's a great question, but it also just seems like something that would be mischievous that Lisa would do to him. Yes. Absolutely. you know what I think it actually makes a lot more sense that she zapped him into her outfit because she thought it was funny, which it is. Exactly. Because this was going to be another thing that Wyatt was going to have to explain to Chet.
00:47:41
Speaker
Because not even Gary noticed it. Yeah. and' so She delights in sexual mischief. Yes. It's true. I think she just delights in mischief.
00:47:53
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. And she's open to sex more than the rest of us. Yeah. And she's just constantly in sexual situations. Yeah. Yeah. That's where she has to do. Not her fault. Yeah.
00:48:04
Speaker
What a life. So after breakfast, the boys take Lisa to the mall. What else are you going to do with a hot babe in the nineteen eighty s So Lisa goes and shops for lingerie, asking the lingerie saleswoman, do you think these see-through panties would turn on a 15-year-old boy? i can't believe that somebody wrote that line, somebody printed it on paper, and then people read it out loud to shut it. I cannot believe that this is a thing.
00:48:32
Speaker
a different country. Let's go to the next line after that. Do you have any bras that you think would match this? Something like leather or barbed wire. Yeah.
00:48:45
Speaker
And the attendant says, give me a break. Yeah. That is just the best. Give me a break. That attendant speaks for all of us. Yeah.
00:48:56
Speaker
ah Meanwhile, the boys get iceys dumped on them by two, by the two radical dudes, Ian and Max. okay Lisa sees the whole thing. And so she lures the bullies out of the mall with a wink and a smile so that they could see Gary and Wyatt picking her up in a Porsche.
00:49:14
Speaker
For good measure, she tells ian and Max that there's going to be a party at Wyatt's house that night. This obviously really catches Wyatt by surprise. yeah Lisa yes it tells him if he ever wants to be the cool dude that throws parties, he's going to have to throw a party sooner or later.
00:49:33
Speaker
She's not wrong. i was You're not getting any any younger. know you can't You can't be a guy who throws parties if you don't throw parties. And this is also apparently at the time when people just would hear, there's a party and be like, yeah, I'm in.
00:49:49
Speaker
Everybody was so much more social then. Yeah, but we weren't as worried about each other as we are now. It's true. Yeah. We used to drink from the hose.
00:50:00
Speaker
Right? love ah So ah then Lisa leaves. She has to go convince
Interactive Movie Quiz Game
00:50:09
Speaker
Gary's parents to let Gary come to the party.
00:50:13
Speaker
Gary's parents are naturally disturbed to find their child being led around by the dick by British sex kitten. yeah So Lisa pulls a gun on them and kidnaps Gary and takes him to the party. It's a wild scene.
00:50:26
Speaker
Very strange. It is. Yeah. I also think it was an interesting choice, the two people who play Gary's parents. Because they're so like ridiculously buttoned up.
00:50:40
Speaker
Yeah. and like How does a kid like Gary end up being a kid like Gary? when his parents are like they are, presumably he should have turned out like Wyatt.
00:50:52
Speaker
You know what I mean? yeah it's Yeah. It's definitely like my parents are punchline parents. You know what I mean? It's like in the only other time we're ever going to see them again is when you, you learn that their brains have been wiped and the father just keeps going, who's this Gary you keep talking about? And like, they only exist for that, for this series of jokes.
00:51:15
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So now it's party time. Dozens and dozens of kids roll up, including Ian and Max, and their oft-ignored girlfriends, Deb and Hilly. Oh,
00:51:30
Speaker
Unfortunately, Gary and Wyatt find this whole thing overwhelming, and they hide in the bathroom. While Ian and Max are distracted by Lisa and how hot she is, Hilly and Deb run into Gary and Wyatt, and they bond for a moment before the boys finally attempt to work up the guts to ah face their own party.
00:51:51
Speaker
They quickly get cornered by Max and Ian, who have a very exciting proposition for them. Ian and Max want to trade Deb and Hilly for Lisa. Doesn't that seem so gentlemanly my god this moment made me want to scream yeah yeah scream yeah it's too bad i was really on ian and max's side up until this moment yeah no never uh gary and wyatt say that this wouldn't be right but they are willing to make them their own lisa
00:52:26
Speaker
Cut to bras on all their heads. Theme song starts blaring again. Everything starts going crazy. We get a montage of a bunch of crazy stuff. Including piano shooting out of a chimney.
00:52:40
Speaker
Yeah. And the pianist getting all her clothes ripped off and following behind That's right. That's right. I thought it was so like, honestly, the scene where everything gets sucked up the chimney.
00:52:50
Speaker
That's a really great. like cinematic moment if you ask me because it just looked so cool like everything was literally it was like a vacuum it was just ah an amazing vacuum sweeper i loved it the the whole southern miniature i don't know i don't think they could have done the piano falling on the gazebo in miniature that looked size accurate to me this is This is really the section that really made me think about the level of commitment that Hughes is putting into. And the whole sequence is shot and edited in a way that gives it such like a kinetic energy that's crazy.
00:53:28
Speaker
And it's all to just be like, hey, they're making a lady and weird shit goes down when they make a woman, right? Like pianos flying out of a chimney. Yuck, yuck. Moving on. and it's just like this is so much like destruction of property in set making.
00:53:44
Speaker
Just for this montage. It was so good. Yeah. So good. It's excellent. It feels very Al Feldstein, very, you know, going back to comics and like Mad Magazine. It has that kind of vibe. Like when they would cut to ah the photograph of the parents and then the parents in the photograph would start dancing to the weird science theme song. Yeah. It's just like, yeah, this is a goofy cartoon for this part. And that's really fun.
00:54:13
Speaker
Uh, where was I? Uh, so unfortunately our nerds forgot a very important step. They forgot to hook up the Barbie doll to some electrodes.
00:54:26
Speaker
Instead, they left them laying on top of an issue of time magazine with an intercontinental ballistic missile on the cover causing Wyatt's computer to manifest a nuclear weapon, presumably with big tits and David Lee Roth's personality.
00:54:40
Speaker
Hmm. yeah But you never get to see below the casing. So you just, there's no confirmation. They're in there. She's covered up. She's very demure.
00:54:52
Speaker
Lisa's very disappointed in them. Oh, you're trying to show off and be big men. And you didn't really think about my uniqueness is what makes me special. That's got to be kind of hurtful.
00:55:03
Speaker
But she also says to them, you're trying to, when are you going to learn that people like you for who you are and not what you can give them? A sexual slave.
00:55:14
Speaker
I just think that's so ridiculous because her whole premise is giving them exactly what they want. Yeah. yeah That's exactly why they like her. Exactly. like How would, how would they have learned that Lisa? How would they have learned that special lesson?
00:55:31
Speaker
Yeah. Her, the, the plot of this is like the, the, like the reason why characters are so weird. It's just so bizarre. Yeah.
00:55:43
Speaker
She realizes that the boys were just trying to look cool for Ian and Max. So she offers them a chance to look really cool by manifesting a post-apocalyptic biker gang to come and assault the party.
00:55:57
Speaker
This was weird. Yeah. It's an odd choice. Uh, eventually the boys work up the courage to face these, uh, mutant bikers from after the apocalypse.
00:56:10
Speaker
Gary pulls out Lisa's gun, which has now turned into a real gun. It was a water pistol before and, uh, scares them off. Then begins sort of a surprisingly long coda to the film.
00:56:23
Speaker
Uh, Hilly and Deb fall for Gary and Wyatt. And they spend the night at Wyatt's house. The next morning, Chet comes back. It turns out there's a reason why Chet hasn't been there for a while. she He's been out duck hunting.
00:56:36
Speaker
here ah He finds the house in shambles and his brother in bed with a girl and his grandparents frozen in time and stuffed into the pantry. I forgot about that. happened I forgot about that.
00:56:49
Speaker
here Did you also notice that Wyatt's grandparents have British accents? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah They're from ah across the pond. I guess. Yeah.
00:57:02
Speaker
Lisa knows how to handle Chet though. So the boys drive the gals home and Lisa transforms Chet into a giant toad monster and tells him that she won't change your back until he agrees to lay off.
00:57:15
Speaker
when Wyatt and Gary get back from dropping off their new girlfriends, they tell Lisa that they're breaking up with her. They've been in sort of a throuple this whole time. There's also weird dynamic in this movie. yeah I don't know why there wasn't just one nerd.
00:57:30
Speaker
It feels like it would have been cleaner. Yeah. Yeah, but then you couldn't have had, it would have had to last longer because then you couldn't have had the silly scene at the candy bar and the kiss on the patio. Yeah. In the same night. It wouldn't have worked. Yeah, that's fair. know If it's just one guy, he's a loner and doesn't have any friends and that somehow is creepier.
00:58:00
Speaker
Okay. that's fair That's fair. You could give him a friend. The friend isn't just, isn't, you know, there that weekend. yes Whereas this the the smooching throuple is comparatively wholesome.
00:58:15
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, i guess. I guess because it also does keep anybody from getting too emotionally attached to Lisa. Nobody can really like yeah fall in love with Lisa. I did say comparatively. Yeah. Yeah. That's yeah.
00:58:30
Speaker
Good call.
00:58:33
Speaker
So yeah, they break up with Lisa. She says she understands and she kisses them and then she disappears in a puff of smoke. Cut to a boys gym class full of dweebs. And guess who their new scantily clad gym teacher is. That's right. It's Lisa.
00:58:51
Speaker
Wink at the camera. The end. Weird science. Weird. Weird indeed. yeah So final thoughts, five star ratings. Greg, why don't you kick us off?
00:59:05
Speaker
is This is a strange, this is this this is a weird little movie. ah This movie, what's really bizarre to me about this movie is it's like, let's have two horny boys and they're going to make a woman.
00:59:22
Speaker
And then once they've got that woman, they're going to kind of forget about that woman and have an epiphany about themselves. sort the which was it So i feel like, and I've been trying to come up with a metaphor and it's not fully there yet, but it's like Kelly LeBrock is the chlorophyll, but they're really interested in us experiencing photosynthesis.
00:59:46
Speaker
But unfortunately, the chlorophyll is the most interesting part about the whole process. um And also, like, the first act is about, like, we're having trouble. What if we try to turn sunlight into energy? I know what we could use.
01:00:01
Speaker
Chlorophyll. And then the rest of it is not about the chlorophyll. It's about what they do with the energy that they got from the chlorophyll. And it's just like, what was the first act about? It's a weird movie, but it's not weird for the reason. It's not weird in the way that a weird movie is weird, which is what's weird about it.
01:00:19
Speaker
So I'm going to say it's a one and a half for watchable because it does just like it is really for because of the chlorophyll. Yeah. well it's The way that it's like chlorophyll. Sure. it's It's difficult to put some things into words sometimes. I understand. Seriously, this really feels like this is for...
01:00:40
Speaker
Not even a 15-year-old boy. It's like a 13-year-old boy who's excited to be a 15-year-old boy one day but doesn't know what being a 16-year-old boy would be like, except that it was made by like an adult male.
01:00:52
Speaker
and So it's got a level of commitment. And his hand is so good in this. And Michael Anthony Hall is doing his best. Unfortunately, they needed to rein him in a little bit. Kelly LeBrock is magnetic.
01:01:05
Speaker
Unbelievable in this. And the whole thing is about just like a couple of boys riffing and making some stupid non-sex jokes. And it's just like, why was this made?
01:01:15
Speaker
What was the point of this? We didn't need a portion of this for them to learn the life lesson. good And then she's made a magic after it was science. it's ah it's So for weirdness weirdness, I'm going to say one and a half because it's it's one and a half across the board, I think.
01:01:31
Speaker
Okay, I think that's fair. How about you, Anna? What about you in terms of watchability and weirdness? Well, I would actually i would give it a two and a half in watchability. And what gives it that extra star, really, is that throughout throughout the movie, she keeps telling Gary and Wyatt and other guys, too, like, oh, they own me. Oh, I do whatever they want. And then...
01:02:00
Speaker
keeps demonstrating that she does, in fact, have complete autonomy from them. They cannot force her to do anything. And she keeps on doing what she wants.
01:02:12
Speaker
You know, it is... it is generally in service of what she thinks is good for them, but often it's things that they don't want her to do. And that to me makes it watchable. You know what I mean? That she isn't, ah she isn't subservient. She's yeah. She's this ah mischievous ah ah Mary Poppins type. Yeah. um So that's a two and a half. And as for weirdness, I would give it, um,
01:02:46
Speaker
Probably about a two... Well, I don't know, maybe two and a half. Again, there's those electricity powers. Electricity powers are are always very interesting to me because they there's a wide range of what they seem to be able to do. That's true. A lot of things use electricity these days. That's true.
01:03:07
Speaker
ah So I gave it... A three and a half for watchability. I think it's got some laughs, but it's also got some clunkers. Uh, it has a hot babe. It moves at a good clip.
01:03:21
Speaker
It has kind of a fun look to it, but mostly was just kind of mid. That was the main takeaway movie. Like this is meh, you know, uh, you can kind of tell that he wrote it in two days. it needed just a little bit more time to marinate in my opinion. Uh,
01:03:37
Speaker
Weirdness, I gave it also two stars. the's surprise There is a surprisingly long time when Gary is doing Jive voice and he talks about a 13-year-old with big tits.
01:03:51
Speaker
But other than that, it's not that weird very often. ah But you do also see a 15-year-old boy walking around in very skimpy bikini panties. That's also kind of strange. Yeah, that was very strange. Yeah, I'll give you that.
01:04:06
Speaker
Shelly, what about you? Watchability and Weirdness, where do you land? Okay, so if you had asked me three weeks ago what I thought the watchability of this movie was, i would have been like, oh, come on, this is at least four, four and a half. You know, you could definitely watch that. And then i rewatched it and I like immediately got the urge to call you and be like, forget about it, forget about it. No, don't, we're not, we're not, I'm not going to do this. I'm sorry. um So going to fall somewhere in the middle. I'm going say, I'm going give it
01:04:39
Speaker
you know, like 2.75, somewhere between Chris and Anna, I think. ah Well, and primarily I'm going to say Kelly LeBrock's performance in this just sends it for me. i think it's her ah mischievousness and her like wizardry and her charisma and, you know, like,
01:05:03
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like if RuPaul was giving her stars, she would get tens across the board for the unique nerve and talent. Like she's got it all. And then Anthony Michael Hall has these moments that are also really great.
01:05:21
Speaker
And then some that are just so... terrible so i think i'm stuck somewhere between those two i'm also struck by how adorable robert downey is in this because he's not even using the junior in the credits yeah it's true downey and he has that like little gap in his two front teeth he hasn't worn braces yet i don't know i just thought he was precious even though he's a total asshole. um Weirdness, I'm going to say it falls really low on weirdness. Like one star. Yeah, very ironic. it
01:06:00
Speaker
It just feels like, and after we've had this conversation, it just feels like John Hughes wanted to make Anthony Michael Hall's character from The Breakfast Club into something. Why not give him a girl? um And yeah, I'm going to also like continue on that too. I'm going to round up to a three.
01:06:23
Speaker
on watchability solely because of that Max Hedron style MTV computer montage moment. yeah so It's so good. a really good montage.
01:06:37
Speaker
And then that scene at the, like on the second making of the thing ah with the chimney. Yeah. I'm going to say those two moments, like you could very easily fast forward yeah to the first making of Lisa And then fast forward again until the second making of a thing. Yeah. When they make the big titty missile.
01:07:01
Speaker
And maybe, you know, a couple quick pauses on Lisa. but's Yeah. Yeah. that's very Yeah. Listers, you heard our review, but I found a couple of other reviews by some people who really liked weird science and and we're going to hear from them in the reviewed review review. Okay.
01:07:20
Speaker
Okay.
01:07:34
Speaker
You wrote review of the film, now we're going to review you.
01:07:58
Speaker
Review, review. La, la, la, la,
01:08:08
Speaker
right so i went to imdb i found three ten out of ten reviews review number one one of the best comedies i've ever seen oh that was that was it no no no no that's just the title of the review And Shelly, I want you to listen closely as an English teacher. ok There's ah one sentence in here that is a very strong clue as to what I think the age of the person who wrote this is.
01:08:40
Speaker
but This is a story of two boys who create a super cool woman. The most funny thing is that these boys are total losers.
01:08:51
Speaker
They are oppressed by the society. Lisa, the cool fictional woman, teaches them how to become popular and brings out their best qualities.
01:09:03
Speaker
The good story combined with excellent jokes and awkward situations creates a very nice setting for a true comedy.
01:09:15
Speaker
Their adjectives are on point. It's true. They are. They're all adjectives. Mm-hmm. I also feel like that review was originally written in like perhaps another language and then put into Google translate could be English and then put into a third language e translated into that third language and then translated back to English. So I think, I think there's some layers there.
01:09:45
Speaker
think there are some layers. Okay. Okay. Tagline or a review number two. This was the best movie ever! Two exclamation points. I got it too. Yeah.
01:09:57
Speaker
yeah I saw this movie about a half a year ago. And as soon as I saw it, I fell in love with it. I think it's just because I'm only 13. And I like those kinds of movies.
01:10:13
Speaker
Also in the movies that I watch, they seem better with some attractive guys in them. Twist. Ooh. yeah Now the next sentence, the author writes who they think the attractive guy is. Who do you guys think it was? Wyatt.
01:10:27
Speaker
It's Wyatt. Wyatt, Bill Paxton. What do you think, Shelley? Oh, i um yeah. Bill Paxton. Bill Paxton.
01:10:38
Speaker
In this movie, Elan Mitchell Smith was really hot. It was Wyatt. Oh, I knew it. He's adorable. He's very cute.
01:10:48
Speaker
Tagline number three. Classic eye candy. Yeah. What can you say about weird science?
01:11:02
Speaker
Well, let's be honest. The plot is hardly in depth. And no Oscars were dished out for the performances. But it still proves to be a hit every time I decide to watch it.
01:11:21
Speaker
I can recite the script now, and I still haven't tired. Perhaps it's because this trip down memory lane to those days when life was simple. Remember when we made beautiful ladies from computers? It was so simple then. Computers, they could make women and they didn't have, they weren't turning on lights or streaming music. They were just making people.
01:11:47
Speaker
Yeah, or nuclear weapons. Yeah. Either one, unchecked. unchecked nuclear. I call them the good old days. i mean, let's be fair. If you can make both people and nuclear weapons, you're in a very good place.
01:12:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. yeah Return. You guys want to play a game? oh my gosh. Yes, please. yeah Yeah. We're going to play a little guess the title.
01:12:20
Speaker
Let me tell you about this brand new game Where you guess the movie's name You just tell me what the title is prove you know about show is Guess the title Whipper, whipper, whipper, whipper Guess the title Gooby, gooby, gooby, gooby Guess the title Guess the title.
01:12:45
Speaker
Come on, honey. Guess the title. Yeah,
01:12:53
Speaker
yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:12:57
Speaker
All right, so we're going to be playing a little Guess the Title. We're going be doing it with the films of Vernon Wells. Vernon Wells played Lord General, the leader of the post-apocalyptic bikers.
01:13:10
Speaker
He was cast in this role because he played Wes in The Road Warrior.
01:13:16
Speaker
okay He has apparently appeared in over 250 films. He built an entire career based on being Wes in The Roadwork.
01:13:29
Speaker
So I'm going to ask you that. Wait, okay, so that was a Mad Max movie, right? Yeah, Mad Max 2. Okay, okay. so And there's a call back forward in the in the movie when Lisa meets Ian and Max at the mall and in Robert Jadowney's character says, uh, yeah, we call him Mad Max.
01:13:54
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. That's why she had Mad Max on the brain. That was Chekhov's Mad Max. I just put that together. I'm dying.
01:14:05
Speaker
Okay. Okay. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to read you a description of a Vernon Wells film, and I'm going to give you three titles. It's a buzz in game. You'll buzz in by saying your own name. If you get it wrong, your opponents will have the chance to steal.
01:14:17
Speaker
Everybody ready? Yes. All right. Question number one. An aspiring cowboy finds a peculiar door standing alone in an open field.
01:14:29
Speaker
His curiosity leads him through it and out into the perilous world of the American Wild West. Is this Time Sheriff, The Last Frontier, or Showdown in Yesteryear?
01:14:47
Speaker
Greg. Greg? The Last Frontier.
01:14:54
Speaker
No, I'm sorry. It wasn't the last frontier. Shelly. Shelly? Showdown in Yesteryear. That is correct. that's I really hoped it was Cowboy Door.
01:15:07
Speaker
oh no. Yeah. That would have been this' be a good band. It's true. Yeah. Question number two. Mutated flying sharks wreak havoc along the beach and during an annual volleyball tournament. Uh-oh.
01:15:25
Speaker
Talk about bad timing. Is that Apex Predators 2 Shark Skies? Apex Predator 2 The Spawning? Or Apex Predator 2 Bloody Balls?
01:15:40
Speaker
Uh, Greg. Greg? What was the first one? Apex Predator 2 Shark Skies? Apex Predator 2 Shark Skies. Man.
01:15:53
Speaker
I like dark skies. Sure. and anna or Shelly, can you steal? I'm going to say number two.
01:16:05
Speaker
Not the bloody balls one. Apex Predator 2, the spawning? The spawning. That's correct. I feel like this could have been a really great precursor to what I'm guessing Sharknado was like. I'm going to say this is post-Sharknado.
01:16:21
Speaker
I also... I'm going to look it up, but I don't know. I don't think sharks spawn. I think they do live birth. I don't think so. Yeah, i do like yeah they do. yeah Question number three.
01:16:35
Speaker
An American author travels to a small rural town in the United Kingdom. During his stay, he uncovers a cult worshipping a god they call Lycanthrope.
01:16:46
Speaker
Oh, Man, except for the name of the god, I've watched so many movies like this. yeah I love movies like this. No, it's a great premise. I'll watch them all.
01:16:58
Speaker
It's to Anna's Pokemon. Is it Werewolf Cabal? The Wicker Werewolf Man? Or Bark at the Moon? Anna.
01:17:10
Speaker
Anna? Bark at the Moon. Oh, I'm sorry. It wasn't Bark at the Moon. gregs kelly Greg. What was the first one you said?
01:17:21
Speaker
Werewolf Cabal? Yeah, that's the one. That is the one. Greg's on the board. Yes. Question number four. During the COVID-19 lockdown, a teen girl living with her grandpa takes up online detective work to save their house from foreclosure.
01:17:42
Speaker
Is that remote solving? Sally Floss, digital detective? Or you've got clues? Shelly.
01:17:54
Speaker
Shelly? Remote solving. know it wasn't remote solving. Greg. There was one that was long and had like a colon in it maybe.
01:18:10
Speaker
Sally Floss, digital detective. That's the one.
01:18:17
Speaker
You're correct. Why would anybody pick that last name on a movie that they're writing? I don't know.
01:18:26
Speaker
You who lose. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm sorry. Question number five. The manager of a small town public access station questions the legacy of his favorite child show mascot when he learns the man inside the costume has been carrying a dark secret.
01:18:48
Speaker
<unk>t Oh, no. Yeah. Is that Kringle time? Not for kids. Or we need to talk about Mr. Kiki.
01:19:01
Speaker
Shelly. Shelly. We need to talk about Mr. Kiki.
01:19:07
Speaker
Come on. I'm sorry. Anna. Kringle time. You're on the board, my dove. It was Kringle time. It's Kringle time. All right. There's plenty game left to play. Question number six.
01:19:23
Speaker
A week before Christmas, a viral outbreak turns the citizens of Los Angeles into the walking dead. Oh. Is that a zombie Christmas?
01:19:35
Speaker
Stirring creatures or silent night, zombie night. Boy. Uh, Anna. Silent night, zombie night.
01:19:48
Speaker
Oh my God. It's all tied up a three-way tie. No, no, no, no, no. It's Kringle time too. chrisringle return That's what of it is.
01:20:00
Speaker
It's, it is part of the Kringle extended universe. I'm sure. Question number seven. A group of college students break down on a desolate highway and their search for refuge leads them straight to the web.
01:20:17
Speaker
A depraved cult that worships pain and death. Is this Blood Ranch, Nightblood, Welcome to My Parlor?
01:20:29
Speaker
Shelley. Shelley? Blood Ranch. You're correct, Shelly. Nice! I think that's on my list of movies to watch.
01:20:40
Speaker
Well, it's got Vernon Wells in it, so it can't be all that. Okay. Question number eight. A kickboxer on the run from the triads gets drawn into a web of sex and murder that will test his martial arts skills to the limit.
01:20:56
Speaker
Hmm. Is this Ring of Violence? Master of fighting or kick of death? Greg. Greg? Master of fighting.
01:21:09
Speaker
No, it wasn't master of fighting. I had to say it. Shelly? Anna. Shelly? Kick of death? Oh my God, Shelly, it was kick of death. Hey! What a stupid name, I love it!
01:21:25
Speaker
Somebody greenlit that project. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it didn't cost very much. Question number nine. Last one.
01:21:37
Speaker
In a post-apocalyptic wasteland, two sisters leave their stronghold to save their wounded mother. Armed only with a muscle car and limited ammo, they race against ruthless raiders to secure life-saving supplies from a distant outpost.
01:21:54
Speaker
Is this road fury maximum war? Road Wars, Max Fury, for Max Rhodes and the Fury War?
01:22:08
Speaker
This is a great question. Yes. ah Can you read them one more time? Absolutely, I can. Road Fury, Maximum War. Road Wars, Max Fury.
01:22:23
Speaker
Max Rhodes and the Fury War. Greg. Greg? Whatever the first one was.
01:22:32
Speaker
Road Fury Maximum War? That's the one. No, I'm sorry. It wasn't Road Fury Maximum War. Shelly or Anna, can you steal? Anna. Anna? Road Wars Max fur Fury.
01:22:47
Speaker
That's correct. Hey! Shelly, you are our big winner. Anna, you take second. but Congratulations to Shelly.
01:22:59
Speaker
Ooh. It's an exciting music. I like this. Leftover from our episode about Super Mario Brothers. Perfect. Uh-oh, it's the Batty Awards.
01:23:16
Speaker
Now you're messing with us. Now you're messing with the Batty Awards. Now you're messing with the Batty Awards.
The Batty Awards
01:23:27
Speaker
Now you're messing with the Batty Awards.
01:23:32
Speaker
Congratulations to all the nominees.
01:23:39
Speaker
That's right. Congratulations to all our nominees. It's the Batty Awards. Greg, please inaugurate these awards. So I'm going to give my baddie award to maybe the stupidest joke that's also very subtle.
01:23:54
Speaker
It's a very subtle, stupid joke. ah When Kelly LeBrock breaks out of that bathroom, they like show the door kind of bulging, and on the door is a bumper sticker that says, I break for women.
01:24:07
Speaker
And ah some moments later, that door will break for a woman. So... ah There you go. Real stupid. thumbs Thumbs down, but you get the Batty Award, so congrats. You've done it, stupid joke.
01:24:22
Speaker
Anna, do you have a Batty Award? ah Yeah, I think I'm going to give it to Bill Paxton's hair. He's a real flat, flat top, but because of the shape of his skull, it slopes upward. So from head on, he looks like he's got like little horns at the back of his skull. I don't know. ah It's just a very funny ah cartoonish haircut, and he wears it real well.
01:24:54
Speaker
He does. Yeah. It really suits his asshole. And this of a character for sure.
01:25:02
Speaker
I'm going to give bad award just to ah this movie, perhaps being an unconscious inspiration towards the best script that I wrote when college. It was ah about two nerds and ah they're at the bottom of the social ladder and one of them decides to start going up the social ladder by eating other people and gaining their strength. Nice. Yeah.
01:25:25
Speaker
It was sort of a weird science meets ravenous. It was called tonight. I dine on your flesh. Uh, listeners, if you're a movie producer, don't hesitate to reach out. Uh, it will need a couple of rewrites.
01:25:41
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Shelly, do you have a batty award? Um, okay. So i other than Anthony, Michael Hall's line, you know, my k nuts are halfway up my ass. Uh, I think I'm just going to give,
01:25:56
Speaker
my Batty Award to Lisa's costuming. i know that we talked about how there was another Kelly, like Kelly number one, who for whom many of the costumes were made, but I think Kelly LeBrock, everybody's true Lisa, is just pulls them off beautifully. Absolutely. So, yeah, I especially i mean, I love the jacket that she wears to meet Gary's parents that is all rhinestone with the number 13 in the back. And then she takes that jacket off and it's like a tight white skirt with suspenders that crisscross front over a sleeveless like muscle tank.
01:26:37
Speaker
That's hot. And then she has that sequence number that she wears at the party with that dip in the back. I mean, I'm just over here biting my own fist. It's so beautiful.
01:26:50
Speaker
Yeah. And of course, her iconic look in the crop top with those blue panties. I mean, can you get any better than that? and That is pure pinup material. Pin up.
01:27:02
Speaker
Yeah. Yes. Well, absolutely. And ah I don't think we even mentioned that this is also Kelly LeBrock's entrance into the Two-Timers Club after appearing in your previous appearance, The Woman in Red, where she also plays this, like, overwhelmingly sexual woman.
01:27:23
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, um I think I went through a phase Hey, it's a very understandable phase. Wait, is this another opportunity to plug your roots are showing? It sure is.
01:27:37
Speaker
Because Kelly LeBrock is a hardcore root for me, folks. And yeah, I'm going to say that she's a foundational piece of the pyramid that is my queerness.
01:27:48
Speaker
Well, awesome. yeah she's got to She's got to get a Batty Award for that as well. That one's coming from the Academy. Salute to you, Kelly LeBrock, for helping Shelly understand that she's gay.
01:28:01
Speaker
What a blessing. Well, listeners, you check out yeah your roots are showing and come back next week when we're going to be talking about Piranha 3D with Kyle McLaughlin.
Upcoming Episode Tease and Listener Engagement
01:28:15
Speaker
Not that Kyle McLaughlin, a different guy named Kyle McLaughlin. This guy is the host of a podcast called Combat Chronicles about the UFC. Yeah.
01:28:23
Speaker
or cool fighting arts in general. Uh, and from what I heard, he has a thick, uh, British accent of some sort. So I'm excited to thats try and talk to him. Uh,
01:28:36
Speaker
So make sure you don't want to listen to, or you don't want to miss that out. You do want to listen to it. Uh, while you got your phone in your hand, leave us that five stars, find us on Instagram and sub stack, follow the podcast so you can find out when, when new episodes are dropping and, ah you could join our discord. We've got a sub stack now where we've got writing, check out some of our writing about bad movies and,
01:29:06
Speaker
As always, please be good and goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. From my heart and from my hand, don't understand intention?
01:29:41
Speaker
Oh, these are never...