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Episode 95: Super Mario Bros. featuring Julie Setting
88 Plays1 month ago
Podcaster and sex therapist Julie Setting is back, and they’re taking us through a pipe to the dystopian urban jungle of Super Mario Bros. (1993). Be warned, this ain’t your kid’s Super Mario Brothers… which is probably why is maligned/ignored at the time. This dark, sci-fi interpretation sees Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as the titular plumbers saving Samantha Mathis’s Princess Daisy from the evil King Koopa, played by Dennis Hopper. Apart from those recognizable bones, the rest is bonkers and along the way you’ll see a mugging, a night club, several electrocutions, dino-headed goombas and, dare I say, a revolution. Some see it now as an interesting effort that can stand on its own merits and some don’t. It’s a film of strong reactions and we have some explanations, so tune in!
https://www.youtube.com/@bedroombrainiacs
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Heather Anderson.
00:00:39
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to your favorite bad movie podcast.
Meet the Hosts and Guest: Julie Senning
00:00:45
Speaker
It's the only podcast that's brave enough to ask the question, if this movie's so bad, why do you like it so much?
00:00:52
Speaker
It's a me, Chris Anderson. I'm one of your hosts. And as always, I have with me the Iggy to my spike, Mr. Greg Bossy.
00:01:02
Speaker
Hi, Chris. How are you today? I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty good. Can't complain. Nice. I suppose if I had one complaint, it would be that we do not have the Mario to my Daniela, my lovely wife, Aaron.
00:01:20
Speaker
ah But we do have with us a very special guest.
Why Super Mario Brothers?
00:01:24
Speaker
ah You might know them as the host of Bedroom Brainiacs. But today they have dragged us into their perverse underworld. So they must be our own personal Koopa. It's Julie Senning.
00:01:40
Speaker
Please, I would much rather be Big Bertha. Wouldn't we all? Truly. sorry Yeah, that's the dream. so coffee
00:01:51
Speaker
Well, you chose our movie this week, and you chose Super Mario Brothers. The 1993 Super Mario Brothers, to be exact. Yeah, not the newer one. no Sorry if you tuned in hoping to hear us talk about Chris Pratt. He will not be coming up. Thankfully.
00:02:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Cause boy, complicated. But ah we will be talking about Super
Plot Summary of Super Mario Brothers
00:02:19
Speaker
Mario Brothers. If you haven't seen the 1993 Super Mario Brothers, you won't guess what the plot is. So I'll just to tell you right now. Yeah.
00:02:37
Speaker
plumbing brothers, Mario and Luigi, travel to another dimension to save their girlfriends from the king of the hyper-evolved dinosaur people who live there.
00:02:51
Speaker
Yeah. That is exactly what happens. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Now, ah Julie, you came out swinging with this one when I asked you to come back to the show.
00:03:02
Speaker
Tell me about your personal history with Super Mario Bros. Okay, so I love John Leguizamo. Fair enough.
00:03:14
Speaker
Anything he's in. And this has been true since I was single digits. Okay. Isn't there a movie where like everyone's trying to kill him?
00:03:26
Speaker
Yes. Okay. The past. Yes. Yes. Yeah. yeah So that was actually one of the things one of my my partners suggested, like, well, what if you did the past? And I was like, the past is a different level of bad.
00:03:40
Speaker
past is rough. The past is rough. That being said, I can quote it and have seen it more than once. All right. I love John Leguizamo, like, just And it was like imprinted on me, maybe from this movie, but like from from very little.
Personal Nostalgia and Movie Description
00:04:00
Speaker
And if you see him in this movie, it's like, oh, yeah, he's still he's gorgeous. like he's He's got a sweetie pie smile. He sort of plays like the dumb little brother who just is all soft, squishy, wonderful.
00:04:19
Speaker
And that is... I think initially why this movie was for me just like, oh, I i love everything about this movie. Also, this movie, seeing it as a little kid, or, you know, maybe I was 10. I'm pretty sure I saw it, like, on home video the first time I saw it.
00:04:40
Speaker
So I was probably, like, 9 or 10. um It's, like, one part Three Stooges, one part Die Hard, and, like...
00:04:52
Speaker
Three parts
00:04:55
Speaker
science fiction movie. Yes. And that is actually perfection for me. Like that, that's all of my favorite things basically.
Video Game Background and Movie Experience
00:05:08
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Good point. Good point. I'll take that. there's like, truly, I watched it literally today to rewatch to talk tonight. And I was like, oh, no, it's still just as perfect as it was every other time I've watched it. And by the way, I pulled it out on DVD to watch it today.
00:05:27
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Well, I'm excited to talk more as the show progresses. Greg, had what's your background with Super Mario Brothers? so were Were you a a Nintendo player? I'm sorry.
00:05:43
Speaker
ah Did you have a background with Mario? Yes. i play I have played all of the Mario games. I can get the 99 extra lives in the Forest of Illusion level one where you get the super Yoshi shell and you bounce it through all of the other. Oh, wow.
00:06:02
Speaker
Yeah, you can get 99 extra lives that way. So, yeah, I've played a little Mario. Okay. Okay. Just checking. Just want to get everybody's baseline. Greg, your history with Mario and Mario. you know So yeah, I was definitely going to start there because like I was definitely way into video games, but Mario was never quite my thing. it turns out that what it I think what it is, I learned this kind of an adult life, is that um I don't like careening into bodies to get rid of them.
00:06:31
Speaker
Okay. Like using an object or firing or something, but like jumping on them was like, it didn't something about it doesn't quite work for me, but I still see. Maybe, maybe that's what it is. Maybe it's my fear of intimacy essentially. But ah like, I still liked the Mario games. Like I got no real beef against them or anything. And I would have happily seen a Mario movie. Yeah.
00:06:54
Speaker
Had this one been anything at all, like the video game when it came out, because I remember it like Nintendo Power had a subscription, red it every like cover a cover, you know, it's like Mario is coming out. It's like, I don't want to see that.
00:07:06
Speaker
That looks scary. and it doesn't look like Mario. And it just looks weird. And so it's
Movie Background and Production Challenges
00:07:13
Speaker
like, yeah. So I never did watch it as a child.
00:07:17
Speaker
ah But oddly enough, watched it about less than six months ago. Okay. Because my friend Grant, who's on the show with Neil Breen, we just watched bad movies. And I think it was after we watched whatever the ah the Street Fighter 2 movie was.
00:07:34
Speaker
i mentioned Yes, I mentioned other video game films. He's like, we should watch Super Mario Brothers, but it always ended up being like the B or C choice for like four times. And they're like no, we're watching Super Mario Brothers now. And so we did, and we were just sort of flabbergasted.
00:07:51
Speaker
By how good it is Yeah, no, mean there's a lot of, it was a lot of responses is what it was. So it was fun to unpack that again. Yeah, there's a lot to unpack.
00:08:04
Speaker
ah So I saw this when it came out. I'm pretty sure I saw it in theaters. i ah I played Nintendo as a boy. I played the first three Super Mario Brothers on the n NES, and I played Super Mario World on Super Nintendo.
00:08:23
Speaker
And so I went to see this in the theater, and I remember... It not resonating for all the obvious reasons yeah that this would not resonate in that it bears no aesthetic resemblance to Mario. This is like Mario alternate universe fan fiction.
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah. It's Mario A03 for sure. Yeah, it's it's very, and i I didn't know how to approach that as a child. It just really confused me. It feels like these people clearly don't know what Mario is. Someone just needs to sit down with them and they need to play Super Mario Brothers for an afternoon and they'll realize what they did wrong.
00:09:10
Speaker
Yeah, I assume. It has all the elements of Mario, guys. I don't know what you're talking about. It is weird. Go through a pipe to an alternate dimension. Yoshi's there. Yoshi is there, just like you remember him. It's so weird how much it is Mario and yet isn't Mario at all.
00:09:33
Speaker
It feels like someone just gave them like a printed glossary of Mario terms. And they're like, okay, yeah, Yoshi's a tiny dinosaur, but the Mario brothers are a pair of plumbers.
00:09:43
Speaker
Or maybe this is like a future recreation of a past relic that they don't like in the past hundreds of years ago, they worshiped a man named Mario. He was a plumber and this is his story, you know, and they just got it completely wrong, but have some of the elements.
00:10:00
Speaker
I think it's sort of like, okay, So Mario 2 on original Nintendo is not actually a Mario game. yeah It's just a different game that they ported the Mario characters on top of. yeah This is sort of a sci-fi film that they just ported at the Mario characters on top That makes good sense. It's perfect.
00:10:21
Speaker
it it's perfect that it's just It is truly perfect. What they should do is they should release a dub that just all the proper nouns have been changed. And then you would be able to watch this movie fairly, I think.
00:10:36
Speaker
Well, do you guys want, I found out a little bit of how this movie came to be what it is. Do you guys want to hear about that? Absolutely. Very strange. I'm sure.
00:10:59
Speaker
I wish I had some context About the background of the film Script director, actors on set What was going on on screen? wanna hear some details Gossips tend to all that shit Can't imagine all that
00:11:28
Speaker
So Super Mario Bros. came out May 28th, 1993. It was directed by a husband and wife team, Rocky Morton and Annabelle Jankel.
00:11:40
Speaker
And I got six taglines here. Not quite a record, but respectable. Tagline number one. This ain't no game.
00:11:53
Speaker
All right, I guess. I mean, it's not. No, it's a movie. Yeah. yeah
00:12:01
Speaker
Tagline number two. This ain't no game. It's a live action thrill ride. I like that more, but not for reasons I think anyone actually wants me to like it more.
00:12:14
Speaker
But I think it does do them some good to try and separate themselves from the video game as quickly as possible. Yes. Rip that bandaid off. Tagline number three.
00:12:26
Speaker
Can two plumbers save the world from going down the drain? i like it. I like
Plot Breakdown and Comparisons
00:12:34
Speaker
it. That one's it. Yeah. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad.
00:12:38
Speaker
Okay. This one pretty good. Where the game ends, the movie begins. Yeah. Not really.
00:12:49
Speaker
No. Well, in in one sense, yes. Maybe. Yeah. yeah But in a lot of other senses, no.
00:12:59
Speaker
Tagline number five. Anything is possible. You just got to believe in it. Yeah, I guess. it's all It's almost a direct quote from the movie.
00:13:12
Speaker
and I'm going to say, if I'm in the room on that day, drop the in it. It's cleaner. Yeah. you just got a little quote from the movie yeah yeah You just got to believe. to believe. Yes,
00:13:24
Speaker
Just take the quote. Yeah. Yeah. Just put like hyphen Luigi.
00:13:32
Speaker
Tagline number six, our last one, perhaps the most accurate. A bright, clamorous extravaganza. Yes. It is all those things.
00:13:44
Speaker
You don't hear clamorous very often. good i mean It is bright in a way, but I think it i feel like the last two-thirds of it takes place in the dark almost entirely, realistically.
00:13:56
Speaker
That's fair. Koopa City is very bright. Yeah, and it is very bright. it's It's a movie of contradictions that somehow don't contradict each other. yeah It's perfect. Did I say that already? You might have. Yeah, you've certainly asserted it.
00:14:12
Speaker
ah The classic video game character Mario made his debut in nineteen eighty one s Donkey Kong. When the Nintendo Entertainment System debuted in 1985, bundled with the game Super Mario Brothers, it set Mario on a path to becoming the defining video game character of the 1980s, if not all time.
00:14:35
Speaker
Yeah. He replaced Pac-Man. Yeah. You could easily call him the Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny of video games. ah Since then, Mario has appeared in over 250 video games by my count.
00:14:51
Speaker
And that's if you include appearances like being the referee in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, or in weird pseudo-games like I Am a Teacher Super Mario Sweater, a game that was designed to teach you how to knit a sweater with Super Mario on it.
00:15:07
Speaker
Or Mario Teaches Typing. Yeah. Which is great. Which... i I type about 92 words per minute. Shout out Mario Mario. Yeah.
00:15:18
Speaker
Yeah. What can't he do? yeah Certainly taught me to type. Yeah. By the late 80s, Nintendo had started getting inquiries from Hollywood about bringing a live action Mario to the big screen.
00:15:33
Speaker
Deke Entertainment, the producers of the television show, The Super Mario Brothers Super Show, starring wrestler Captain Lou Albano, ah they had made the first live-action Mario and had hoped to make a movie, but it never really panned out.
00:15:49
Speaker
By 1990, Dustin Hoffman tried to purchase the film rights, possibly at the urgings of his son. Wow. Now, he had ah plans to star opposite Danny DeVito as Luigi with Barry Levinson directing.
00:16:06
Speaker
Huh. Written by the screenwriter of Rain Man, it was derisively called around Hollywood Drain Man.
00:16:18
Speaker
Huh. Drain Man, they called it. Huh. Then a couple of others took a run at it, trying to figure out a way to make it work before it eventually became, it it came to the attention of director Roland Jaffe, who did not direct this, but he did end up producing it.
00:16:39
Speaker
oh Now Jaffe, he broke into the film scene with the one-two punch of The Killing Fields and The Mission, both of which garnered him Best Director nominations. Definitely the guy you want for Super Mario Bros.,
00:16:54
Speaker
Yeah, he knows. He's bringing the right energy. Yeah, exactly. He's got a good pedigree. Yeah. When I think of Super Mario Brothers, I think of the killing fields. They go hand in hand. Exactly.
00:17:05
Speaker
They're both speaking the same truth.
Unique Aesthetics and Chaotic Production
00:17:09
Speaker
ah Things largely went downhill after those two pictures for Jaffe. In 1995, he directed the Demi Moore Scarlet Letter, somehow turning it into an erotic thriller.
00:17:24
Speaker
And a decade after that, he killed the torture porn genre with the movie Captivity. Okay. On this road to ruin, he made Super Mario Brothers.
00:17:36
Speaker
Now, Jaffe did not have a particularly clear vision for Super Mario Brothers movie. He just saw it as a way to make a profitable movie. Nintendo, for their part, had already gotten their $2 million dollar licensing fee, so they seemed to not particularly care what happened next.
00:17:53
Speaker
So strange. Perhaps they expected it to wind up in development hell like the previous attempts. theyre Like, hey, yeah, licensing fee, whatever. We make games. You want to fuck around? it That's not my business.
00:18:07
Speaker
ah So without a clear vision, Jaffe sort of stumbled around for a little while, hiring different screenwriters, approaching different directors, hoping somebody else would have a good idea.
00:18:19
Speaker
Eventually, he determined that the traditional Mushroom Kingdom had too much of a fantasy vibe. This was the 90s. We weren't doing fantasy anymore. yeah Now it was sci-fi. Yeah.
00:18:32
Speaker
definitely Definitely trash the entirety of the world of Super Mario Brothers. Yeah. First thing you need to do, get rid of all the Super Mario Brothers stuff. Yeah. That's the worst part. It's too fantastical.
00:18:46
Speaker
We need a hard sci-fi Super Mario Brothers. You guys are saying this like it was a bad idea. Well, I'm saying it was the idea. That was the idea.
00:18:59
Speaker
ah Now, Jaffe then, he thought about his favorite science fiction work of recent years, and that was Max Hedrum.
00:19:12
Speaker
And that's why he hired Rocky Martin and Annabelle Jenkel, the husband and wife team that created Max Hedrome to direct Super Mario Brothers. I feel like everything makes sense now.
00:19:23
Speaker
That's why this is like Max Hedrome. That's why, because it's made by the people who made Max Hedrome. And when you connect those two, you're like, that's the aesthetic. Oh my God. Yeah. They just had the Mario Brothers jump into Max Hedrome world. Yeah.
00:19:41
Speaker
Uh, unfortunately the production had problems other than just, uh, it's very strange idea. Sure. Uh, feedback from studio heads, Jaffe and our directors resulted in a script that drastically changed from one draft to the next throughout the course of filming.
00:20:01
Speaker
There was what they call the famous rainbow script that was compiled of different drafts that were all printed on different color pieces of paper. Wow. Uh, John Leguizamo, who plays Luigi, would come into work drunk every day.
00:20:17
Speaker
The cast as a whole seemed to genuinely dislike Morton and Jankel. Also, John Leguizamo, due to his drunkenness, broke his leg at one point.
00:20:28
Speaker
And also, ah ah Bob Hoskins broke his finger, also due to being drunk on set. Wow. But this quote from Dennis Hopper seems to ah sum up the antipathy that the cast felt towards ah Martin and Jankel.
00:20:49
Speaker
This quote is from ah Dennis Hopper. It was a nightmare, honestly, that movie. It was a husband and wife directing team who were both control freaks and wouldn't talk before they made decisions.
00:21:02
Speaker
Anyway, I was supposed to go down there for five weeks and I was there for 17. It was so over budget. My six year old son at the time, he's now 18. He said, dad, i think you're probably a pretty good actor.
00:21:17
Speaker
But why did you play that terrible guy, King Koopa and Super Mario Bros? And I said, well, Henry, i did that so you could have shoes. And he said, dad, i don't need shoes that badly.
00:21:31
Speaker
and He, um, shot fired by Dennis Hoffer's son.
00:21:39
Speaker
Audiences in general agreed with Henry and Super Mario Brothers only took in about $39 million dollars on its $48 million dollars budget.
00:21:51
Speaker
Other kids movies of 1993. What else could you go what's the competition? You could see, ah that Dennis the Menace. Yeah, all right.
00:22:03
Speaker
You can see Cop and a Half. Oh, forgot about that. Burt Reynolds. My friends all call him Butt Reynolds because of the Playboy cover that he did.
00:22:14
Speaker
is His centerfold where he's lying on that big bear rug The bear rug one, yeah. Beautiful. ah You could also check out ah Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3, Turtles in Time, i think. Yeah.
Climax and Resolution
00:22:30
Speaker
Or was that the arcade? now three Three is Turtles in Time. That's the one where the Ninja Turtles go back in time to be samurais. Yes, but only three of them. One of them stays in the present for some reason.
00:22:42
Speaker
Yeah. Really weird decision. Been a while. And then, of course, for your the sports heads in the audience, you got a one-two punch of two great kids' baseball pictures.
00:22:55
Speaker
Obviously, everybody loves the Sandlot. Yeah. But underrated, you've also got Daniel Stern's Rookie of the Year. Yeah. Funky butt loving. I love Rookie of the Year. That's a great movie. great movie It's a good movie.
00:23:11
Speaker
Well, we could talk about Rookie of the Year all day, but we're here to talk about Super Mario Brothers. That's right. We've got a lot of plot to get through, so I'm going to play that bumper.
00:23:38
Speaker
Plot bumper, listen to me. I'm gonna give you the plot summary. Come on, baby. Here's the synopsis.
00:23:50
Speaker
Plot bumper, plot bumper.
00:24:03
Speaker
So we open on Brooklyn, New York. 65 million years ago. Just where you'd think it would start. Perfect. Our narrator, Dan Homer Simpson Castanlonetta, explains that when a meteor hit the Earth 65 million years ago, it created a parallel Earth where dinosaurs survived and evolved into people.
00:24:29
Speaker
Cut to Brooklyn 20 years ago. A woman leaves a giant metal egg with a crystal tied to it on the steps of a convent. The egg contains a baby girl.
00:24:43
Speaker
More on the crystal later. Cut to Brooklyn today. We got the Mario brothers, Mario and Luigi in their Brooklyn apartment.
00:24:54
Speaker
Obviously you got Bob Hoskins and you got John Leguizamo. A fantastic pairing that I think honestly should have appeared on film wars. yeah quintessential Italian plumbers yeah obviously obviously you want the Englishman and the Puerto Rican guy and and then I believe like Guzamo said you know that Pacino got to play Scarface so he had no problem with himself playing Luigi Mario it's like I'm taking one back this one's going the other way he's a perfect Luigi Mario he does great is a great job he does a great job
00:25:31
Speaker
And Bob Hoskins obviously also crushes it. Yeah. I'm going to say i thought Bob Hoskins was very hot in this movie. I think he's looking good. That scene when him and Big Bertha dance. sho Yeah. yeah And he's he's just like built real solid and he's just got such a winning smile and a great mustache. He looks fantastic.
00:25:53
Speaker
Now, the two of them, they're down on their luck plumbers. And they're both struggling to keep the family plumbing business afloat. Luckily, they get a phone call about a diner with a busted washing machine.
00:26:07
Speaker
So they rush out there and they find their hated rivals, the Scapelli brothers, yeah beat them out there. These Plumbing's Scapelli brothers are just part of a larger Scapelli construction company. And coincidentally, other members of the Scapelli organization are working on a different construction site nearby.
00:26:31
Speaker
Well, they would be working on it, except the and NYU paleontology graduate students are digging up a bunch of dinosaur bones there. None of this is going to be relevant to this movie soon.
00:26:42
Speaker
That's true. Actually, this is all MacGuffin. This is all just table setting. We have spent, I'm going to say, a good 10 minutes of this movie with nothing. Just nothing.
00:26:55
Speaker
I do love this rivalry between plumbing companies where it's just like, God damn it, they keep stealing our jobs. It's like, they're plumbers. Don't you just call one and then they show up? It's like they're like plumbing scanners like, shit, shit. We got to go. We got to get to the site.
00:27:11
Speaker
We got to be the first one to that toilet. Honestly, so I live near a... um maintenance company, like an independent,
Extended Editions and Deleted Scenes
00:27:19
Speaker
like handyman basically.
00:27:21
Speaker
And they have a big sign right outside their place. I drive by it all the time. And it has, I don't remember the name of them, mix something, blah, blah, blah, handyman, their tagline, we show up.
00:27:35
Speaker
e That's a good one. Okay. well Like truly there is this sort of thing where it's like, you just call people and whoever gets there first it's handled because people don't show up.
00:27:47
Speaker
That's rough. That's a rough situation. I got to say my local handyman economy is much better than that.
00:27:55
Speaker
So anyway, there's a young lady named Daisy, and she's in charge of the ah dig at this construction site. And she's being followed by two very strange men, Spike and Iggy.
00:28:09
Speaker
Then she runs into Luigi at a payphone. And with Mario's help, Luigi asks Daisy out on a double date with Mario and his insanely hot girlfriend, Daniela. Hmm.
00:28:22
Speaker
Daniela looking very nice. in this movie So they go out to dinner and it's nice. And afterward, Mario drives Daniela home and gives her a kiss on the cheek. It says, I'll see you tomorrow night. It's very sweet. They seem like a very nice couple. He's going to take her to WrestleMania.
00:28:39
Speaker
god God, that'd be so much fun to go with Mario to WrestleMania. are you Right. yes ah And Luigi and Daisy, they go for a walk. Spike and Iggy, they're kind of dumb and they get turned around and they kidnap Daisy or Daniela after Mario drops her off.
00:28:57
Speaker
They have a hard time telling women apart, it seems. Yeah. They've already kidnapped like four other women at this point, I think. Yeah. Yes. They mentioned that they've kidnapped quite a few women off of the streets, which is kind of disturbing.
00:29:10
Speaker
Yeah. so If you examine a few elements of this, it's all kind of disturbing, honestly. Yeah. There's a lot of disturbing imagery in this film. Yeah.
00:29:21
Speaker
Now, meanwhile, uh, Luigi and Daisy, they go check out the dig site and she shows him, ah her dinosaur skeleton with opposable thumbs. If you know what I mean.
00:29:33
Speaker
uh, unfortunately this tender moment is, ah ruined when Scapelli's goons damage, some pipes in the area, causing it to start flooding.
00:29:45
Speaker
Luckily, Luigi knows our great plumber, his brother Mario. So they rush back to the apartment and they grab him. They come back with their tools and they fix the pipes. But while they're distracted fixing pipes, Spike and Iggy, they grab Daisy.
00:30:02
Speaker
The Mario brothers follow her cries for help to a natural cavern where they soon find a portal to another dimension in a cliff wall.
00:30:13
Speaker
Luigi, undaunted, leaps through, and Mario hesitantly follows. I gotta say, you've done a commendable job of summarizing like the first 20 to 25 minutes of this film in ah a very efficient manner, because it takes a while to do all of these things.
00:30:31
Speaker
Yes, this is very plot-heavy this week. So they keep following Daisy until ah the tunnel they're in opens up into the bustling metropolis of Dino Hatton.
00:30:46
Speaker
That classic setting that never appeared in any Mario game before or since. At this point, I just kept thinking, this movie is the movie Brazil.
Actor Game and Batty Awards
00:30:57
Speaker
Yeah. We've got Bob Hoskins as a plumber running around in like a multi-level city that's just constantly dark. It's kind of a dystopia. There's a lot of social commentary. And it was just like, why am I watching Brazil when I should be watching Super Mario Brothers?
00:31:15
Speaker
Yeah. It doesn't evoke Super Mario Brothers. It's so weird. The brothers, they lose track of Daisy, but not before Luigi snags the crystal pendant that she's worn ever since she was found on the steps of a nunnery 20 years ago. That's right. She was the girl born from an egg in a nunnery. Who would have thought?
00:31:39
Speaker
So Spike and Iggy, they go tell their cousin, President Koopa, that they finally successfully kidnapped Daisy. President Koopa, obviously played by Dennis Hopper,
00:31:50
Speaker
doing great yeah with so ah a very strange hairstyle yeah I will say that's one of my things that I really love about this movie is that rather than doing like like the the very practical effects of it all they're like well he's a lizard guy and we're going to show you that by sort of curling his hair into like five faux hawks. Yeah. eat These mini faux hawks with a lot of gel guys. There's going to be a lot of gel. Yeah.
00:32:27
Speaker
Ridges kind of, a kind of ridged hair. Yeah. Cranial ridges. Uh, and Dennis Hopper obviously does great. He obviously also doesn't have a lot to work with. Yeah. And in several points seems to not particularly care, but you know, he's still a good actor. You can't take that away from him.
00:32:46
Speaker
It is weird that they made him a pervert. He is such a pervert. Yeah. It's very strange that he is both a germaphobe and a sexual predator. Yeah. those are two strange things to put in your children's movie.
00:33:03
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, Koopa does kidnap Princess Peachalot in the video game. It's true. This does tie in. They did read in that glossary that they were given. ah Koopa kidnaps Peach in love with her question mark. And he was like, he probably wants to fuck her.
00:33:26
Speaker
so um Now. ah butdadada ah So unfortunately, Spike and he did not grab the crystal.
00:33:40
Speaker
So they need to go back and they need to find the crystal. So he sends them back out to find the Mario brothers who they believe have it and retrieve it. Unfortunately, the brothers get mugged by an old lady who in turn gets mugged by big Bertha, a bouncer at a nearby nightclub, which raises the question, why is this so complicated?
00:34:00
Speaker
Yeah. I'm sure I did had trouble following this as a child. I had trouble following it now. Yeah.
00:34:11
Speaker
But Big Bertha is essential. No. and well oh yeah don't jump Don't get me wrong. Big Bertha's not the problem. Big fan of Big Bertha. I mean, they just could have Big Bertha take it right away. You know what I mean?
00:34:24
Speaker
She could have just been like, nice crystal, and grabbed it. it would Yeah, I would have gone with it. But we wouldn't have known just how bad it is in Dino Hatton. It is a tough town. Without an old asking them if they had any defenses available, and them going, oh, no, and then she mugs them.
00:34:42
Speaker
Yeah. It's a pretty good gag. It's a pretty good gag. It's a gag. It's a good gag. ah So the bros, they debate their next play. ah But Koopa has issued a warrant for their arrest.
00:34:56
Speaker
They soon get picked up alongside an anti-government protest singer named Toad, played by C-list punk rocker Mojo Nixon. So there you go.
00:35:08
Speaker
Yeah. Mojo Nixon, I think best known for appearing in the lyrics of the song Punk Rock Girl by the Dead Milkman. But he was also in the movie Rock and Roll High School Forever, the sequel to Rock and Roll High School. yeah And he's also Toad in this for some reason. And he's also Toad. Well, in he's yeah one thing I found out how he got cast. I left this out of his notes, but I found out.
00:35:31
Speaker
They wanted Tom Waits. Sure. god Yeah, who obviously would have been great. He's definitely the first one you think of when you think of Toad. Obviously. Definitely. Very iconic. Same vibe as the character from the game. Definitely. Uh-huh.
00:35:49
Speaker
Yeah. Very similar vo vocally. ah Mojo Nixon was basically pitched as, ah you know, the Tom Waits that you have at home. He was pitched as Tom Waits at one third the price.
00:36:03
Speaker
He moved Tom Waits. Yeah. Also, his hair looks like a hat, like a baseball cap for some reason.
Promotions and Wrap-Up
00:36:10
Speaker
Yeah. It's shaped like in centric circles, but with a bill. And it's also got a bill. Yeah.
00:36:16
Speaker
It's a strong choice. It answers the question if Toad's mushroom top is a hat or hair. Yeah. I mean, does it answer that question? It could conceivably. Yeah.
00:36:29
Speaker
I guess he he does wear a vest and Toad in the games does wear a vest. Sharp looking vest. I'll give him that. It contributes to that question. It furthers. Yeah. It furthers the debate. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.
00:36:43
Speaker
So they all get booked. Toad tells them that he thinks the fungus growing all over Dino Hatton is actually their devolved king. A theory that will actually turn out to be true. Which is which is bananas. just genuinely one of the craziest concepts I've ever heard in my life. The king has been devolved and is now mycelium running through the entirety of the kingdom.
00:37:07
Speaker
It's also so poetic. remember thinking that was the coolest thing when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was like, that is the coolest plot hook. Like that's incredible. Yeah. I'm, ah I was, I just thought it was the best.
00:37:25
Speaker
I'm watching it now going like, that tells a lot about who I am as a person. Mm-hmm. no I can appreciate that as a fun, cool concept that once again, if you filed off the serial numbers on this, if you changed everything's proper nouns, I would be like, yeah, this rules. This makes so much sense to me. I am not having this bizarre cognitive dissonance. Yeah.
00:37:50
Speaker
ah So ah finally, the bros, they get to see their lawyer. Unfortunately, their lawyer is Koopa pretending to be Larry Lazard of the law firm Lazard and Lazard.
00:38:02
Speaker
He wants the crystal. And when the bros say that they don't have it, he drops the charade and orders them to be taken to the Devo chamber. Terrifying concept.
00:38:14
Speaker
Yes. ah he ah Koopa demonstrates the Devo chamber on poor Toad, who gets his head devolved into a very tiny dinosaur head. He also grows to be about two times his size. And I don't mean just in height. I mean in all proportions, basically. Yes.
00:38:34
Speaker
He is a very giant. term Yeah. all all And they call them Goombas, even though Goombas traditionally mushroom people. Yeah. little guy And yeah, traditionally pretty small.
00:38:47
Speaker
Yeah. yeah But once again, very fast and loose with Super Mario Brothers canon. Yeah. ah I did like that one of the technicians in the Devo chamber was wearing the same outfit that Devo wears in Human Highway. Nice.
00:39:05
Speaker
Now, before the brothers get devolved into chimps, they make a break for it. They catch Koopa flat-footed, and they knock him into the Devo machine just for a moment. And then they bust out and they steal a cop car.
00:39:22
Speaker
Now, there's an important detail on the cop cars that I need to mention. All the cars in Dyno-Hatton are powered like bumper cars, receiving electrical current through an aerial antenna that stays in contact with a lattice of electrical wires that are above the streets. This is going to come up at least two more times.
00:39:39
Speaker
Such an interesting choice. It's interesting that it is not just an aesthetic choice, but also a plot-relevant choice. Yeah.
00:39:49
Speaker
So there's a comedic car chase and the bros, they see a tunnel that leads to the Kupahari desert. Unfortunately, because the tunnel is incomplete, it does not have the full electrical lattice to power the car.
00:40:03
Speaker
And so without the lattice, the car continues cruising, but the brakes no longer work. The tunnel also opens up out into a cliff wall and the boys come flying out of the tunnel.
00:40:18
Speaker
But luckily, there's a large fungal growth and that catches the plummeting police cruiser. Luigi now strongly suspects that the fungus is trying to help them.
00:40:31
Speaker
It seems that maybe that's the case. It seems like that's what's going on. it's see I think Luigi's got it. You just got to believe. Yeah.
00:40:41
Speaker
You just got to believe that the fungus that surrounds you is a devolved king that wants to help you in a revolution. I'm just going to take this moment to say that I'm glad that nobody ate any of the things that came from the king.
00:40:54
Speaker
That was my one thing. I was just like, don't eat pieces of the king. That's going to go to a level. That's going to go to a place that I don't want.
00:41:05
Speaker
That's too powerful a metaphor. Yes. Yes. So back in his palace, Koopa soaks in a big mud bath. He tells his also incredibly hot assistant, Lena, yeah that he loves mud baths because they're dirty and clean at the same time.
00:41:23
Speaker
Is she an assistant? I sort of thought she was a concubine. She, i mean, who can say? Yeah. Six of one relationship has an air of sexuality to it.
00:41:35
Speaker
But she definitely she definitely is going after him. like she she As soon as ah Daisy enters the picture, she is pissed. Yes. She wants that first lady spot for sure. And it's delightful to watch also, I should say. She does fantastic work.
00:41:53
Speaker
Yes, she is great. Very striking. And her hair and makeup. Oh, striking. Unreal. costumes. Yeah. Yeah. that blue dress with that curl, just a one big, like one big red curl off to the side who It worked. yours yeah That was Fiona Shaw as Lena shout out Fiona Shaw.
00:42:15
Speaker
ah Now, Bowser says that he wants Daisy ah cleaned and that he wants to see her.
00:42:27
Speaker
Very normal. Very normal. But first, Koopa has Spike and Iggy evolved in the Devo chamber, giving them super brains. The Devo chamber is also an Evo chamber.
00:42:40
Speaker
it's it's ah It's a chamber. It's a chamber for both Devo and Evo. I also i love that this well improves their lexicon in by a great deal. They also don't seem to be that much smarter in the end yeah as it goes on.
00:42:56
Speaker
They're not much wiser. Well, except they do figure out one thing. Yeah. I mean, they make some changes, obviously. They're like, oh, I've realized that he's a despot and a warlord.
00:43:07
Speaker
Yeah. um So that's bad. And I feel like maybe just that little bit of increase in intelligence, it's good awareness there. Yeah. Yeah. that All of a sudden they started questioning what they were being told.
00:43:21
Speaker
ah He then sends them out the desert to find the bros. Then Koopa goes and visits Daisy, who has now found out that she's actually Princess Daisy.
00:43:33
Speaker
And then Koopa sexually harasses her.
00:43:37
Speaker
Meanwhile, out in the desert, the Marios get the drop on Spike and Iggy. They all agree that what they really want is Daisy. So Spike and Iggy say they're willing to give up the girl for the crystal.
00:43:49
Speaker
Not realizing that this is going to put them pretty much back in the same jackpot they were in in the first place. Classic Spike and Iggy.
00:43:58
Speaker
So they realize that Big Bertha has the crystal. They're off to the club where Big Bertha is a bouncer. ah With a little dancing, a little romancing, Mario is able to steal the crystal from right off her neck.
00:44:13
Speaker
So again, one part, three stooges. Yes. yes Yeah. The the the like physical comedy of this movie is one of my favorite things. Fighting the crystal off her neck and then fiddling with the back of her, like trying to untangle it.
00:44:31
Speaker
Just the whole thing from start to finish. And there's like literally just doing eyebrows at each other about it is perfect. And you can see Hoskins bringing the same sort of physical comedy chops that he brought to ah who framed Roger Rabbit a couple of years earlier. Yeah. You know, like he is genuinely a very talented physical comedian.
00:44:54
Speaker
ah So ah unfortunately, Lena shows up at the club with a bunch of Goombas and there's some more chaos as they chase the Mario brothers around.
00:45:07
Speaker
ah Bertha kisses Mario and covers for him as he escapes. But unfortunately, Lena ends up with a crystal. Somehow in the mix.
00:45:18
Speaker
Now, still, the bros, they know that Daisy is being held at Koopa's tower. So they steal a couple of plumbing uniforms and they sneak in.
00:45:31
Speaker
Lena gets there first and feeling threatened by Daisy, tries to kill her. But Daisy escapes with the help of her pet dinosaur, Yoshi. But Yoshi gets stabbed in the neck for his trouble.
00:45:44
Speaker
That's right. This movie does have Yoshi in it. And Yoshi does get stabbed in the throat. So there you go, kids. Yeah. Just like in the video game.
00:45:55
Speaker
He's very like scaly and he's got like a bunch of very tiny teeth. Yeah. He's cute in a way. in a way, but it's, it's, it's much more. you know the And he does do the Yoshi tongue thing. he does through the bit the ankle Yeah. Yeah. Certainly nothing psychosexual about that.
00:46:17
Speaker
And as a Daisy escapes, she runs into spike and Iggy who were recently arrested for being counter revolutionaries, but have since broken free somehow, uh,
00:46:29
Speaker
They introduce her to her father, King Bowser, who has been ah turned into a giant slime mold that is dripping onto a throne. Yeah.
00:46:40
Speaker
He is the fungus that is all over town. He's the fungus that is among us. He is. You just got to believe. But then the Mario Brothers show up. And Daisy and Luigi are reunited.
00:46:53
Speaker
And Daisy tells Mario that Daniela is still being held in Koopa's dungeon. Remember Daniela? She's still in the movie. Yeah. It was so weird when he kissed his birth. He goes like, hell yeah. And I was like, wait a minute. What about Mario's, was it girlfriend?
00:47:07
Speaker
Wait, what is it what is Mario's situation? what is his what is What is he after? What's story? You sound like Daniela now. Jeez. ah So Mario, he sneaks down to the dungeon and he rescues Danielle and all the other girls that were kidnapped from Brooklyn by Spike and Niggy before the movie started.
00:47:28
Speaker
Lena gets arrested for dissent and Koopa takes the crystal from her while Mario busts the gals out of prison by sliding through a tunnel. ah They emerge back to the... Because it's an ice level for Mario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hadn't thought about that, actually.
00:47:46
Speaker
It's true. They do get nice like the game. yeah and I don't know what you guys are talking about. Yeah. ah They emerge back into the streets of Dino Hatton and Luigi, Daisy and Koopa are all there too.
00:47:59
Speaker
And so is Lena and Mario and Koopa fight. And you guess it. Koopa loses the crystal. Lena grabs it. And then as she falls and you think she's going to die, but she lands on the electrical lattice.
00:48:15
Speaker
The lattice once again coming into play. ah She does get electrocuted, but then runs off. It's a terrifying scene. Yes. Very intense. Yeah.
00:48:27
Speaker
And not the first time she gets electrocuted. Not the last time she gets electrocuted. No, no. This poor gal. She is a real lightning rod. Luigi and Daisy chase after her and as she runs off and Mario and Koopa continue to duke it out.
00:48:42
Speaker
The fungus gives Mario a bomb, which is a tiny windup explosive that people just sort of know about. I like that. everyone Everyone's like, he's got up a bomb. It's like, they're kind of just hanging everywhere.
00:48:56
Speaker
Yeah. You just, the fungus has a million of them, I think. Yeah. Now, ah before the bomb can go off, Lena puts the crystal into the meteor that killed the dinosaurs, which is buried under Dino Hatton.
00:49:10
Speaker
Yep. This causes the two dimensions to start merging. And it's terrifying. It is. It's unsettling. It kills Lena in the process. She gets she does not have the power to wield the crystal safely like Princess Daisy does. And so she gets electrocuted and turned into a Skellington. Yeah, she gets kind of Han Soloed into the wall, right?
00:49:35
Speaker
Yeah, she gets like blasted into there like Wile E. Coyote. ah Luckily, Daisy and Luigi... with the help of some plumbing tools, are able to pull the crystal back out of the meteor and the dimensions split again.
00:49:53
Speaker
Luigi rushes to Mario's aid and they both shoot Koopa with devolution guns, turning him into some form of primordial soup.
00:50:03
Speaker
All of Dino Hatton is very happy. King Bowser instantly returns to normal somehow, and it turns out that he was Lance Henriksen the whole time. so Yeah, just for one shot in the movie. He's like, oh, it's me.
00:50:18
Speaker
It's also funny the way he kind of like plunks down in the chair. i mean, it looks gross to watch a big ah like tube of fungus physically morph into Lance Hendrickson. But then it's kind of like, and it's just the funniest reaction to that experience. It's just like a little cough.
00:50:36
Speaker
Give me i got a little something in the throat. I still got a little bit inside. yeah, yeah. little fungus in there. I didn't evolve at the same speed. Do you guys think that King Koopa's primordial soup is going to leak all over the city like the fungus did?
00:50:53
Speaker
Hmm. I don't know. kind don't know enough about the behavior of primordial soup. Do you know what I mean? It seems something could come from it, though. Maybe this is where we get shy, guys.
00:51:04
Speaker
Hmm.
00:51:07
Speaker
All of Dino Hatten celebrates.
00:51:11
Speaker
Uh... Daisy kisses Luigi goodbye, and the Mario Brothers take all the Brooklyn girls back home to Earth. Cut to three weeks later.
00:51:24
Speaker
The Mario Bros. are back at home in their apartment better than ever, other than Luigi missing Daisy. But suddenly, Daisy kicks open the door to their apartment. She's armed to the teeth, and she needs their help.
00:51:38
Speaker
Here we go again! The end. And it's heartbreaking that there is not a sequel. it It sure is. Yeah. Well, there is, I believe, a sequel webcomic that you can find. that was of yeah So if you need more from the Super Mario Bros. movie, it is out there.
00:52:01
Speaker
Final thoughts. Five star ratings on our unique watchability and weirdness matrix. Yeah. Greg, where did you land? So I think for watchability, this is a four. It is a fun time. It is a good time. The question is just going to be, are you going to be able to get your brain over what your brain is seeing?
00:52:23
Speaker
Because like, it is so this is my second time seeing it and I was better at it this time. just like being like just it's it's just a movie it's not a super mario brothers movie it's just a movie you have to stop questioning why they're doing what they're doing you have to stop wondering why they chose what they've chosen and just kind of sink into it and go with it if you can do that real good time i do enjoy it quite a lot it's interesting to see it as a super mario brothers movie as well ah it it's just very interesting i think anyone would probably enjoy this uh
00:52:59
Speaker
on a number of levels uh and as far as weirdness goes so we keep saying if we just switch the pronouns it would be pretty it would all make sense i don't know if it would frankly i think this is a pretty deeply weird film fair enough uh and i so i'm gonna give it a four as well I think that's reasonable. I landed pretty close to you, Greg. I only gave it a three for watchability. I think it's pretty well paced. That's a great cast, but it's also, i think kind of ugly to look at. I find it just to be an aesthetically unpleasing film. So I like Blade Runner. like Brazil. I like that aesthetic. So for me, it was very interesting to look at in that, in that gritty kind of cyber punky way, you know?
00:53:41
Speaker
Yeah. Generally your sci-fi sort of has two options, dark and wet. Yeah. or white and dry. Yeah. I like it dark and wet.
00:53:53
Speaker
I prefer not that no problem dark and wet. I love a good dark and wet. Don't get me wrong. I think this movie is also just ugly. I think they didn't do a good job with this aesthetic.
00:54:07
Speaker
Um, I also think it's kind of ah really stupid. I think it's stupid to make a dystopian sci-fi Mario Brothers. That's a five minute Saturday Night Live short. That's not an idea for a real movie.
00:54:20
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like, this is a joke. i don't know what you mean. i think this was necessary. ah For weirdness, I gave it four stars. ah Beyond the weirdness of the sort of main conceit, there's a lot of weird individual choices that go on within the film. I think the best example is the choice to make Koopa a germaphobe rapist.
00:54:42
Speaker
Yeah. it's pretty It's a strong choice. It's it's a choice. Julie, what about you? Watchability and weirdness. What do you think? Listen, the whole thing being a guest on the show is you bring the movie that you love. That's true. It's across the board. like Okay. i have watched this movie probably double digit number of times.
00:55:08
Speaker
Okay. It's one of those movies that I throw on when I'm, you know, knitting or like trying to do something else. um um Also,
00:55:19
Speaker
John Lang was almost so good in it. yeah He's very charming in He's so charming. The rakish smile is just too good. But for the weirdness, it's every single step away of that movie from start to finish is weird.
00:55:34
Speaker
And i yeah I think that is, to some extent, the selling point for me. Like, every choice was weird. its It is dark and wet.
00:55:46
Speaker
the i And, like, to me, Being like, we're going to make a dystopian alternate dimension Mario Brothers movie. Yeah. Is such a crazy challenge.
00:55:59
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And then they were like, okay, how do we fit the bombs in? Okay. How do we fit Yoshi in? Okay. How do we make it pot? Like how, how do we get them to be go through a pipe?
00:56:14
Speaker
And it's just like every step of the way it is canonically. Super Mario Brothers. Fair enough. And I love that. But they like they do it in such a perfectly weird way.
00:56:27
Speaker
So it's just, it's a delight to me. Fives across the board. All right. I'll take it. Well, if you like it so much, maybe you'd be interested in learning a little bit more about the alternate cut.
00:56:43
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:56:51
Speaker
I watched a movie film and it was longer than I thought It turns out I watched the extended director's cut And now I know That theatrical is for me It's the one I want to see But instead I watched The alternate cut.
00:57:20
Speaker
This film, it has an alternate cut. Yeah. This film, it has an extended director's cut. This film, it has an alternate cut.
00:57:30
Speaker
Yeah. This film, it has an extra 20 minutes.
00:57:37
Speaker
Love that bump. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice when I get to bust that one out. ah So in May of 2019, the fan site Super Mario Bros. The Movie Archive announced that they were able to purchase a VHS tape off of eBay.
00:57:56
Speaker
This tape once belonged to producer Roland Jaffe and included a 125 minute cut of Super Mario Brothers. Oh, wow. Wow. ah The footage was not in great shape. It was taken from a work print that was played on an editing deck, you know, so it doesn't look very good.
00:58:17
Speaker
ah But the fans of Super Mario Brothers hired Garrett Gilchrist to restore Gilchrist is best known in restoration circles for his work restoring the once lost animated masterpiece, The Thief and the Cobbler.
00:58:33
Speaker
He is a very legitimate film restorer. He spent about two years working on the restoration. It was finished in June 2021.
00:58:45
Speaker
Most of the cut footage came from the opening of the film before the Mario Brothers arrived in Dino Hatton. Wow. And there were sort of ah three main scenes. Wow.
00:58:57
Speaker
So the first one is when the Mario brothers arrive at the diner and you get to meet the Scapelli brothers, Doug and Mike Scapelli.
00:59:07
Speaker
Okay. And, uh, they're kind of pricks and they're kind of like jacking up the price and yanking around, ah the diner owners.
00:59:18
Speaker
And you get to see the Mario brothers being like, they're ripping you off. This is a two hour job. And, ah I think I'm glad I didn't watch this cut. I watched just these el deleted scenes separately. Uh, and while we were watching it was very confused why there were scenes of the Mario brothers plumbing and like establishing that they're good. plumings It's like, who cares? But I thought, don't know. I want to see them plumbing. That's, that's like, that's fan service. That's at least one thing that they're getting right. And is recognizable. Like the, okay. The Mario brothers are plumbing. I get it. I understand.
00:59:57
Speaker
and So another scene features an extended devolution of one of this one. the The devolution tech that's dressed like he's in Devo gets shoved into into it and he gets turned into primordial soup and he spills all over the floor. And this is what prompts the Mario brothers to push Koopa and he slides on the primordial soup into the chair. Okay.
01:00:21
Speaker
If you watch the scene... in the regular movie, the primordial soup is on the floor. I think I remember that and just being like, what? And then just, just, you know, the rest of the movie takes over again. Yeah. That's where that soup came from.
01:00:38
Speaker
Uh, the most interesting deleted scene. Julie, have you seen any of these deleted scenes? Have you watched this extended cut? Okay. The most interesting deleted scene.
01:00:50
Speaker
has to be an extended sequence in the boom, boom club where Iggy and spike rap rap about how you need to have a revolution in Dino Hatton and overthrow King Koopa.
01:01:06
Speaker
Oh my God. Allegedly this scene was cut because it featured too many sexy go-go dancers. They ah hired real erotic dancers from near where they were filming.
01:01:20
Speaker
They hired, they hired erotic dancers for a dance scene in the super Mario brothers film. They did. i don't know if they were go-go dancers or strippers, but it was some form of yeah lightly clothed dancing. Okay. How about that? I mean, it just, it's, it just is what it is. It's a perfect choice. Yeah. I mean, how can you question it?
01:01:43
Speaker
Uh, That wrap though, will be our closing theme good episode listeners. good So get ready to be moved towards a revolution. It's coming.
01:01:55
Speaker
ah So this extended restored cut was released on 2023 in Blu-ray. And you can also find the whole thing on the internet archive for now. Anyway, with that, you guys want to play a little game? Yeah. Oh boy. A game.
01:02:13
Speaker
All right, let's play a little This, That, or The Other.
01:02:43
Speaker
I ask myself, what will they answer? Will it be A, B or C?
01:02:55
Speaker
A, B or C? And each time I ask you question, there's one thing that I want to know. Is it this, is it that, or is it the other?
01:03:12
Speaker
Is it this, is it that, or is it the other?
01:03:19
Speaker
That's right. We're going be playing this, that, or the other. We're going to be playing with Fisher Stevens, Richard Edson, who played Spike and Iggy, respectively, and also Dan Castellaneta, our narrator.
01:03:32
Speaker
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to read you a film title and a brief description, and I want you to tell me if it was Fisher, Richard, or Dan that was in that movie. Okay. Okay.
01:03:44
Speaker
This is a buzz in game. You'll buzz in by saying your own name. If you get it wrong, your opponent will have the chance to steal. And before we get going, I just want to mention really quickly that on IMDb, if you pull up Mojo Nixon's profile, the picture is Toad, but not Toad the human, Toad the devolved reptile man.
01:04:05
Speaker
Oh, good. He's kind of cute that way in a strange way. Yeah. I mean, at least he's embracing this probably was his biggest role. So, everybody ready? Hands on buzzers.
01:04:19
Speaker
Question number one. Plump Fiction. A parody of Pulp Fiction and other popular films of the mid-90s. ah Greg?
01:04:31
Speaker
Greg? Is it Richard? Is that the... Mamma Mia! No, I'm sorry. wasn't Richard. Julie, can you steal?
01:04:43
Speaker
that Fisher Stevens? Yes.
01:04:49
Speaker
No, I'm sorry. it wasn't Fisher Stevens. That was Dan Castellaneta in that one. Plenty of game left to play. Question number two. Burning Shadow. Charlie, a down-on-his-luck loner, obsessed with a Russian stripper, crosses paths with a blind homeless man who is his exact double.
01:05:09
Speaker
Perplexed and intrigued by the discovery, Charlie invites the man into his life. Is that Fisher Stevens, Richard Edson, or Dan Castellaneta? Greg. Greg? Fisher Stevens.
01:05:25
Speaker
No, I'm sorry. It was like a doppelganger film, which sounds intriguing, actually. Yeah.
01:05:32
Speaker
What do you think, Julie? Was that Richard or Dan? Richard.
01:05:39
Speaker
Correct. Julie's on the board. For the record, I'm going to say if I meet someone on the street who looks exactly like me, I'm never letting them into my home because that's definitely a doppelganger. Oh, yeah. They're going to kill you. Yeah. I will share as, um you know, people have like fears that are sort of fully unsupported. Yeah. Doppelgangers are the thing that I am truly most scared of in my life.
01:06:03
Speaker
That's understandable. Terrifying. Yeah. And partially, I'm like, I'm not so much scared that there is a doppelganger of me for me. What I'm scared of is that my friends and family will not be able to yeah discern me from a doppelganger. I have had ongoing conversations with various people in my life that I'm like, Hey, I need you to think of ways to discern me from a doppelganger and never tell me what they are.
01:06:32
Speaker
Okay. That's smart. That's good. Smart. I'm thinking forward thinking. I think there's only one thing I could say if I met my doppelganger. the All my life, searched adversary.
01:06:47
Speaker
Question number three. Buttleman. Harold Buttleman, a small town tuxedo salesman, thinks he's the next great daredevil stuntman.
01:06:58
Speaker
He's not. This star, Fitcher, Richard, or Dan? Julie. Julie? Julie?
01:07:08
Speaker
Sounds like a Fisher Stevens type of thing. wow No, I'm sorry. That wasn't Fisher. Greg, can you steal? Dan?
01:07:20
Speaker
Correct. right Greg's on the board. It's all tied up. Question number four. Replay. The viewer becomes the eyes of two detectives who never appear on camera as they unravel a mystery on a video screen, watching tapes from 21 hidden cameras that recorded a triple homicide.
01:07:41
Speaker
This sounds unwatchable to me. I literally was about to say, I do not want to watch this movie. ah Greg? Greg. Fisher Stevens.
01:07:53
Speaker
Correct. Okay. Question number five. The boss's wife. Ooh. Joel Kiefer is a stockbroker trying to climb the corporate ladder.
01:08:05
Speaker
Only one thing is stopping him. His boss's beautiful flirtatious wife. That'll do it every time. Every time. Always getting stopped by my boss's flirtatious wife.
01:08:19
Speaker
Greg. Greg. Richard.
01:08:26
Speaker
No, I'm sorry. It wasn't Richard. Julie, can you steal? Dan? Mamma mia! No, I'm sorry. That was Fisher Stevens in that one.
01:08:40
Speaker
Question number six. Frankenfish.
01:08:47
Speaker
A genetically altered fish wreaks havoc on a small fishing town. Welcome to the bottom of the food chain.
01:08:58
Speaker
i Uh, uh, Greg. Greg? Uh, Dan?
01:09:09
Speaker
No, I'm sorry that wasn't Dan. Julie, can you steal? Let's go Richard.
01:09:16
Speaker
Correct. What I like is... again, tying it up. I've got some concept of what I think Fisher Stevens would be in his films. As for the other two, it's like, oof. Yeah. What movies would they be? My brain can sort of like conceptualize a Fisher Stevens flick. Yeah.
01:09:35
Speaker
The other two, I'm like... Flip of the coin. Truly...
01:09:43
Speaker
cannot think about Dan as anything other than like a voice actor. I agree. i yeah agree. And Richard Edson's just kind of a very weird character actor. He apparently used to be the drummer for Sonic Youth.
01:09:55
Speaker
How about that? didn't know that actually. Yeah. And he, he wrote the Spike and Iggy rap. So if you need to point the figure at anyone, it's poor Richard. Uh, question number seven, Sands of Oblivion.
01:10:10
Speaker
Hmm. An artifact cursed by an avenging Egyptian god is found amongst the props of an old Hollywood film. The curse causes a series of deaths to occur that bear a striking resemblance to the deaths that occurred during the making of that old film many years ago.
01:10:28
Speaker
Sands of Oblivion. Julie? Richard.
01:10:37
Speaker
No, I'm sorry, it wasn't Richard. felt confident on that one. i feel I feel like this is a Fisher Stevens. No, I'm sorry. That was Dan in that one.
01:10:48
Speaker
He's hard to pick. he's He's got that old Hollywood glamour. I could see that appealing to him. I don't know what he looks like. i couldn't pick him out of a lineup. Question number eight.
01:11:01
Speaker
Henry's Crime. Great title.
01:11:06
Speaker
released from a prison for a crime he didn't commit, an ex-con targets the same bank he was sent away for robbing. I like this concept. I like to think it stars Keanu Reeves. How about that?
01:11:21
Speaker
Greg? Greg? Richard? wow No, I'm sorry. That one wasn't Richard. Julie? That one's a Fisher?
01:11:36
Speaker
Correct. All right. Now we're cooking last one. Question number nine. The kid and I. Aaron Roman is a teenager with cerebral palsy who dreams of one day starring in a big time action movie.
01:11:55
Speaker
When his father grants Aaron his wish for his 18th birthday, he gets more than he bargained for. The kid and Greg.
01:12:06
Speaker
Greg? Dan.
01:12:12
Speaker
No, I'm sorry. That wasn't Dan. and Julie, can you steal? so is this one Richard?
01:12:19
Speaker
Nice. That's right. It was Richard. Congratulations, Julie. You get the point. And also...
01:12:31
Speaker
This a little more of a Final Fantasy move, but... yeah It still works. I mean, this is an audio-only podcast, but listeners, trust me, it really worked. Yeah, it did. Uh-oh, it's the Batty Awards!
01:12:51
Speaker
Now you're messing with the Batty Awards. Now you're messing with the Batty Awards. Now you're messing with the Batty Awards. Now you're messing with the Batty Awards.
01:13:08
Speaker
Congratulations to all the nominees.
01:13:14
Speaker
and That's right. Congratulations to all our nominees. It's the Batty Awards. Greg. Why don't you give out the inaugural Super Mario Brothers Batty Award? Okay. I'm going to give mine to a a bit of dialogue, but I do i do have a runner-up. I didn't record this dialogue. It's just so weird.
01:13:34
Speaker
ah They're coming into the club, and they're wearing these suits, and Mario's like, these are a little feminine, which let's not parse that at all. No. But let's move on to the next part of it, which is just Fisher Stevens going, yes, they're my ex-wife's.
01:13:47
Speaker
And then they're like, oh, you still see your ex-wife? He's like, yeah, we hang out sometimes. And it's just like, why is any of this? Why did you just put them in clothes and have them walk into the club? Like, I guess it's a joke, but it's very strange.
01:13:59
Speaker
But then the actual line of dialogue that I'm highlighting, I had to watch this several times to get it correct. This is very extreme, which is what I really liked about it. It's ah right when they first get into the Mushroom Kingdom.
01:14:13
Speaker
And they know that someone's taken Daisy or whatever. Luigi's like, I'm going to kill him. And Mario's response is, no, you're not going to kill him.
01:14:23
Speaker
Not if I get there first. So that already, you know, we've got it. But then he goes on to say, I'm going to break every bone in their body and then I'm going to kill him. And then he says, I'm really going to kill him.
01:14:38
Speaker
And it's just like, this is really a lot for a children's film that is an adaptation of the Super Mario Brothers movie. He's got that fiery Italian. He does. I'm going to kill him. I'm going break every bone in his body and then I'm going to kill him. And I mean, I'm really going to kill him.
01:14:53
Speaker
It's just like, okay. I'm speaking hyperbolically. No, I mean it. one interesting thing that I learned during my research that, ah canonically, uh, in the movies, both this and the new movie, Mario is Italian American, but in the games, he is straight up Italian.
01:15:11
Speaker
Okay. I truly thought you were going to go. The thing I learned during my research is Mario is in fact, a cold blooded killer yeah but he has been convicted. he He manslaughter. It's manslaughter, but Luckily, the Mushroom Kingdom has no extradition treaty with the United States. Luckily for Mario, not for the family of his victims. but Just kidding. Mario would never it.
01:15:36
Speaker
I'm going to give my baddie award out. We've got a couple of great members of the two timers club coming out of this movie. Obviously we got Dennis Hopper who was also in human highway, yeah but we also got Fisher Stevens who was also in hackers and I got to give my baddie award to Fisher Stevens.
01:15:54
Speaker
I'm always happy to see Fisher Stevens. Yeah. He's just an all time great character actor. Just always nailing it. Always doing something fun. Always bringing a fun energy. Yeah. Shout out Fisher Stevens.
01:16:06
Speaker
Julie, do you have a Batty Award? I would just give it to John Leguizamo, but I think that I've sort of already made that point. Fair enough. So, shout out to Big Bertha being part my sexual awakening.
01:16:22
Speaker
no Understandable. Big Bertha is looking good in this movie. Big Bertha was, of course, played by I can find this. Francesca P. Roberts.
01:16:35
Speaker
Francesca P. Roberts. So my Batty Award goes to Francesca P. Roberts. Wow. Hang on. I've got to see. I know her from somewhere. Where do I know Francesca P. Roberts other than as Big Bertha? And her red leather spiky and some yeah Oh yeah. her She had a great look. ins yeah ah She was also in legally blonde as Marina R. Bickford. Okay.
01:17:01
Speaker
She was in hard to kill. Okay. Fair enough. i maybe I don't know. Maybe somewhere else. ah Julie, thank you so much for coming on the show this week. Yay. Thank you for having me.
01:17:14
Speaker
Tell our listeners about bedroom brainiacs. Tell them where they can find bedroom brainiacs. We are on YouTube. um okay And also ah wherever you find your podcasts, I believe.
01:17:27
Speaker
um It has been on a short hiatus because if you can't tell by listening to me today, um my voice has been gone for the majority of 2026. But it's coming back and we'll be back.
01:17:41
Speaker
ah And if you like funny content and fun chemistry between hosts where we talk about um sex education kind of um mostly we just like a we did an episode on nut maxing fairly recently okay okay interesting you know telling people what it is and then also sort of talking about some of the like narrative social narrative stuff about why people are doing it um yeah bedroom brainiacs the focus is really like we are a sexually illiterate
01:18:20
Speaker
group of adults here in the United States. yeah um People who do get sex education do not get pleasure focused sex education. And I think it's a real shame. So I'm on a mission. Nice.
01:18:36
Speaker
got God's work. Salute. Thank you. you check it out. And check us out next week when we will have ah Angela Carlucci. We'll be talking about The Pit.
01:18:48
Speaker
I'm very excited. Gonna get some CanCon on here. We have not had a lot of CanCon. And... Of course, ah check our show notes where you can find our link tree. That'll take you to our ah Instagram, our blue sky. We've got a substack going now where we've got essays coming out every week about movies that we haven't covered on the show. So if you aren't getting enough bad movie thoughts from us in your life,
01:19:19
Speaker
sign up for that. And, uh, you can also join us in our discord where we're showing movies. We're back on our oval shit right now. Although possibly by now we're, we're not doing oval anymore because we're mixing up TV shows every month.
01:19:34
Speaker
We're putting up polls. You can come and help decide what we watch. And, yeah. And a great crew there, but enough of me sales pitching, except to ask you to like, and subscribe and leave a comment.
01:19:47
Speaker
And Julie, are you going listen to this when it comes out? Probably. If you do, give us five stars while you're there. I absolutely will. Yes. Another five stars. We've done it, man. i get it. I'm out hustling the podcast world. So yes. ah Like subscribe.
01:20:06
Speaker
If you go to our web website, if you go to YouTube, it will also take you to um give you the links to like our link tree stuff. Um, and you can go to our Instagram and, um, also like, and subscribe and give me five stars.
01:20:20
Speaker
I'm great. We will put your link tree in the show notes. Also, if you comment on the videos, I do answer the questions in future episodes.
01:20:31
Speaker
So oh my you can get free, free sex advice next advice from a licensed sexual therapist. You got this economy. Mm hmm.
01:20:42
Speaker
you gotta get up on this. Uh, and yeah, obviously trying to get new but listeners. If you didn't know this and if you're still listening at this point, God bless you. Uh, I gotta say you're really holding on for that spiking Iggy rap song. So I'm just going to hit you one more time. Uh, trying to get people to listen to your podcast is impossible. Please. Anything that you can do,
01:21:06
Speaker
We'd really appreciate it. oh But we'll see you next week. And ah here is the Spike and Iggy rap. ah Be good. Goodbye. Goodbye.
01:21:17
Speaker
Bye.
01:21:33
Speaker
realize what our society has become? You ever get feeling you're an automatic pilot? You're going through the motions like waves in the ocean? That life is a series of brainless notions, and you want to feel something more than empty emotions.
01:21:44
Speaker
Well, we met two plumbers who had an idea. He showed us light. And the new frontier. And Luigi. Ain't no way great. We gotta take a stand and put up a fight. Well, stop. And think this through.
01:21:54
Speaker
It's time to get rid of you-know-who. A radical development is taking place. Iggy. And Spike will set the pace. Too far. The party.
01:22:16
Speaker
In the millions Look at these numbers Shut us down The rule of what? Is the rule of this clown? Rupa