Transcript
Speaker: Hey, we're here with ah Cameron from Pot About List. Hello. Introducing our guests off the rip. What good style. Let's not even pay too much attention to the fact that introduced them because it's going be so normal. We're always going to introduce people now. Super normal. So tell us a bit about your background. How you got here. So I grew up in Massachusetts.
Speaker: I started out there. Then I eventually moved to New York from there. And well, now I'm here. Okay, so that covers the geography of Cameron. And now to get on to our segment. let's get to no pay rents Let's get to know Cameron through a very specific and narrow ah framing device, which is the Chamber of Reason podcast. So on this podcast, we always we come up with our own crazy questions and we ask people the questions and they have to sort of answer them. We spin a yarn throughout the episode based on this question.
Speaker: um So your question that we've all ah decided on okay is um well ah what would your job be in the um post-apocalyptic commune?
Speaker: That's a really good question. Thank Can't say tickler. you can't If you can't say tickler, it gets really difficult to answer. um Just because I think so many jobs are just tickler.
Speaker: I would i' I'll start. I would be a bloodhound, but the thing that I would find would be unused diapers. That's good to be an animal like that instinct. a bloodund Maybe an octopus. It's a good job because you don't have to get paid.
Speaker: Yeah, i guess I'd be a bird. right I might try. Well, ah I mean, it can is this a thing where it's like, you know, I'm getting locked in? Like, can I try being a bird and it's not working out? i can You can always try. You can always switch. I it try and switch. Yeah. To a normal job like Garbage Man. I think what makes a bird a bird is that it's not trying to be a bird.
Speaker: It's the least of all beings. It's trying to be a bird the least. It's really trying to talk. It's it's trying to be a talking bat. It's trying to. do Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Not quite succeeding. Yeah. it Getting close. It's doing the opposite of hanging upside down. Yeah. And it's. You mean right side up. Right. That's such a convoluted way to say. Why even point that out?
Speaker: I'm just saying it's almost in terms of the way it sleeps. It's like the opposite of a bat. Oh, I'd be an explorer. Right. like Can I be that? That would be cool. Right. I mean, that'd be fun. Yeah. To see all the different you go around, you see all the different like new types of mutants and ruins. It would suck to have some of your post-apocalyptic currency go to the town explorer. We pay him. We don't have like a plumbing system, but we have an explorer.
Speaker: Yeah. He's looking for unsoiled patches of grass that people can use. And if people, if people are getting pissed off at me and they don't want me to be an explorer, then I just, I'm like, fine, fuck it. I'll be a bird.
Speaker: And then, and yeah, see how, see how you like that. So you're like paying a guy bird. bet they shut up real quick. Yeah. They're like, no, please explore for us. Please, please. We have enough birds. we have plenty of birds. Everybody chose to be a bird in this commune.
Speaker: So now our listeners are armed with ah Cam's geographical history and his ah his animalistic future. And now I think that that makes a nice sort of ah ah goalpost ah ah series de for him for him to glide between. I understand. That's how some sports work is you have to go in between the goalposts.
Speaker: Well, if you're the ball, which is another good job to be on that commune. Can I be the ball? Yeah. it's ta In tag, I feel like people tend to say... Tag was the first game where they were like, we don't have a ball, but one of one of us can be a ball.
Speaker: You know, it is because it's, I think also, you know, using a ball is so tied up with sports nowadays that in the future, maybe we can do away with the whole game. could for like industry. Yeah, just using a ball as in a, you know, yeah, yeah. More useful context than just wasting time with playing with it. The ball must have been really hard to invent. Everyone talks about the invention of the wheel, but you kind of have to think in 3D in order to move wheel. A 360 wheel. That's what a ball is. Yeah. Wow. Matthew, if you were in the post-apocalyptic future, what would be the first thing that you would invent?
Speaker: Because now we really are looking for inventions just remind us of the old days. What would I invent? in a This is post-apocalyptic. We all know what we would invent now with with ah with access to cool resources and and third world labor. But what would you invent if you just had sort of sticks and fossils? I guess cancer.
Speaker: try. I try. Because I guess after the apocalypse, life expectancy would be too low for conditions like that to emerge. You would want to live long enough to develop cancer.
Speaker: Yes. It would become a good... but it would i would be considered a good man. you would be like the chosen one People would travel from around to see the one guy with cancer. Yeah. yeah Not a lot of cancer in a nuclear fallout. no Well, I guess you there is, huh? You're right. There actually is. Yes. Well, you didn't say nuclear, did you?
Speaker: No, we didn't say nuclear. yeah We should have decided on what kind of apocalypse it was. Yeah, I guess that determines a lot. It's one of those apocalypses where it happens as a result of most people on Earth deciding to live in communes.
Speaker: the world kind of ends ah deliberately. Yeah, I think it happens because everyone decides let's just live like the world is like this. Yeah. And then the world will just become like that. Yeah.
Speaker: If it weren't for like some of the, you know, cascading effects of a financial crisis, I feel like, you know, how pop music was a lot about like, let's fuck like the world's going to end tomorrow. That's what it was like. That's what it was like for a bit. And I feel like if we had had an economic miracle, we would have had songs like, let's fuck, let's fuck like the world ended 10 years ago. Yeah.
Speaker: Like we're living in dirt. Like we're a bunch of fucking pigs in the dirt. Yeah. God, they do so much in the dirt. They fuck in the muck.
Speaker: Yeah, there's, I mean, there's something. It could be muck. Pigs dig. Pigs dig. And for pigs, the stuff they do when they're hooking up is hot to them. But for us... Well, we don't have trotters. They have trotters and snouts. They're pink like some of us. What's trotters? What's trotters? That's what their little... their hooves?
Speaker: Yeah, they have those like little stumpy limbs. They're not called hooves. Trotters. They're called trotters? I think... That's like calling feet walkers. Steppers. Damn right. Yeah. not yeahra Or um lollipops.
Speaker: Well... Lollipops. Yeah. It's like calling feet something that they're not. Suckers. If you suck them... Okay. And they're similar to lollipops in the way that the thing that is important about them is on the end of a long stick.
Speaker: Themselves. That's the thing that's important about them. Yeah. Are lollipops attached to to a stick or does it include the stick? That's a question. Well, you don't eat the stick, right? Right. A gun doesn't include the handle.
Speaker: A gun has to include the handle just because that's where the trigger in the amma and the ammo is. Okay. Okay. It's not just a holder. Yeah. I shot the whole gun. I shot the whole gun on that one. It's gone. You do see that sometimes, right? If you run out of the um the gun stuff inside, the bullets. throw the gun. You can throw the gun. Yeah.
Speaker: But you can't throw as hard as you can shoot. That's true. That's true. Yeah, it's a poor decision to throw the gun. I think it's better to reload. Yeah. Reload. Or just put the gun down is what people will do sometimes as well in the movies. Set it down. Just put it down. They say, well, this one's done. used the whole gun. That's right. That's what they're thinking. That's what they probably throw at a stick when they're done with the lollipop. They say something like, I'm out of gun. And, you know, poindexters will say, actually, you're just out of bullets. Yeah, you could easily. Or shells.
Speaker: You can easily get more bullets. It is so Reddit to reload a gun. You're just like, a stop. Yeah. Wow, I just have. I'm just going to continue to fire. But first, I'll load load it back up.
Speaker: very weak. Yeah. It's weak. Yeah. It's better to shoot everyone with one bullet. What's that thing? Is it a minigun where you have like sort of chain bullets? Yeah. Gatling gun or a minigun or something. It reminds me like pasta or something. It's like pasta maker and a minigun are sort of similar. And back in the Civil War days they used to crank you. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: But you that you don't have like a handheld version of that. Oh, yeah. tiny A tiny pasta maker gun. They have that in some games, I feel like. Do they not? Yeah, I feel like... A crankable gun? Yeah, Overwatch. Something of those sort. Arguably, pasta is far more deadly, too.
Speaker: ah what And why how would you argue that? ah The carbs. Think of... Think of, mean, very likely more people die each year from pasta than from bullets. Yeah. I mean, until we check the numbers, I'm inclined to believe. Pasta is like an ancient food. It's like when you turn on, you know, animal plan and they say, actually, the deadliest animal is the mosquito. And it's like, well, I know that's not true, but, you know, can't. They're too small. Yeah.
Speaker: It just can't be true. They should say in a way. Yeah. Otherwise it's pointless to say that. If you look at it from one perspective, yeah it's always a tough one too because you don't know if you're about to get hit with the trick question mosquito or the trick question human. Right. You know what I mean? like it's It's kind of could go either west game The deadliest animal. Even hippo is like kind of a trick. Yeah, because it's like wants to say it. No, none of the answer. I mean, xenomorph should be real and it should be that it should just for the specific purpose of having a deadly. They should make one animal that is like 10 trillion times more deadly than any other animal. They just have one of it. They keep it on the moon. Yeah, kind of an unlockable animal. It's just an animal that it's like, okay, there that's the deadliest animal. There's no more argument.
Speaker: It's clearly not a human. This is way deadlier than a human. There should be two different kinds of zoos, one to see splendid animals and one to see criminal animals. And it's like a prison where you could see the most powerful animals with the highest kill counts. They should pair. They should. It should be paired up in one zoo.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. And you could. And the heaven zoo and the hell zoo. Yeah. Right. Oh, there. And they're upside down on each other. Sorry. You mean one's on top of the other? Yeah. Yeah. and The bottom one's upside down as above. So below.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. That's what that means. As above, zoo below. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's the name of it. Well, I'm glad you you mentioned a man being the most dangerous animal because you've actually ah stumbled upon our second question of the show.
Speaker: We have a few questions in every show. And we all wanted to ask you, um if you were hunting man on an island, who would you pick? And what weapon would you hunt them down with?
Speaker: Is the goal that I want to kill them? I don't know. but i think I think personally as ah as a judge, I would like to have the trophy be you know sort of substantial and impressive. Okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cheating to say i would hunt yeah you don't want to my girlfriend and the weapon would be a kiss because then yeah you're kind of avoiding the question.
Speaker: Sure. No. Yeah. I mean, kind of what I was thinking is like, if I'm just trying to like, it we I would pick a really small baby and then like a nuclear bomb. You know what I mean? That's kind of where i just you're trying to win. Cause yeah. Right. Or you could go the other way where it's like, you know, maybe I'm not the type of guy who wants to kill somebody. So I'd pick a really strong guy and I'd do a piece of paper or something. And you let him kill you. Kill me.
Speaker: ah That would be the moral thing to do. Yeah, that would be the moral thing to do. um But so I guess you have to chart a ah kind of a middle path between those two things. So I would say maybe really strong guy in a nuclear bomb. Right. Kind of in the middle ground.
Speaker: I would pick Pistorius because he's already been convicted of murder and he has no legs. That's good. That's sort of an ethical, the guy with no legs who shot his wife, right?
Speaker: He shot his wife? It's ethical to kill someone with no legs? Yeah. no No, no, It's ethical to kill a murderer, but he just happens to be enfeebled. So it's an easy kill for me and it's an ethical kill. My weapon of choice, a leg. like kick him to death. That's good. That's poetic. You really live your life with ethical ease. Yes. Maybe I'd jump on him with both my legs. I was thinking maybe you could like poison him and then put the cure just out of reach.
Speaker: you You would have to stay on your tippy toes. hunter is that yeah Is that part of hunting? Can you like just have the thing already and poison it and then let it go and that counts as hunting it? Kind of. Putting a deer in a jigsaw trap and like playing a long and voice memo about how it ate too many mushrooms. well what And then what if it beats the trap? what are you going to do going feel like an idiot.
Speaker: You should just home and lie to your wife. Yeah. There were no deer today de we're not out yeah it's not deer season that's why you have to wear like a high visibility jacket when you're out in the woods because somebody's going to put you in a trap thinking you're a deer right right no no not me i'm orange oh yeah there's camo too you know that's the opposite of high sort of mixed messages why why the camo to hide from the deer Camos to hide from the deer. Camos hides the deer and the orange alerts the humans. Humans, yeah. Yes.
Speaker: And deer can't see orange, they say. But I imagine that the camo and the orange vest... Can deer not see orange? That's they say. They say are colorblind so they can't see orange. They say that? They say that. Hunters say that?
Speaker: They say that. That's how they identify each other in the woods. That's how they make sure that they're not deer. They... they They say they speak to each other. Yeah. Yeah. They hear someone else. You can't see orange.
Speaker: It's a pass. It's a pass phrase. Yeah. It's a password to get into the woods. Yeah. Yeah. um But I feel like both of those outfit choices are really just more of a way for the hunter to get in character.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. It's, and you know what it is too? I'm going to throw this out there. I think that hunters, uh, I think hunting is not, is not a real job. And I think that hunters probably feel insecure about that and they want a uniform. Yeah. unified A job can only be identified if you can see it in, you know, busy town or in the spirit Halloween. You gotta have a, it's gotta be dressable. There has to be a hunter discount at most coffee shops so you can walk in with camo and a high-vis bear. Well, there is if you bring the shotgun with you, you can get a pretty hefty Yes, the shotgun discount. yeah It's not a real job, is it?
Speaker: Hunting, no. i I mean, hell, I've been ah applying for a long time. haven't gotten anything back. poaching sort of is poaching is a job poaching is lucrative I've heard yeah oh yeah poaching is like being a pirate or something right yeah like an animal pirate poaching is cool yeah it's badass are there any ah poachers in the animal kingdom are there any animals that kill other animals and then sort of give them to I guess crows kind of work with ah wolves have you guys heard about this no crows will like yeah crows will hang around animals that are animals got together and teamed up Yeah, they only they only work with the darkest of wolves.
Speaker: But the crows, when crows find a sickly limping animal, they crowd around it and just go oh to summon wolves. The wolves will kill them and then the crows will get the scraps. and That's cool. The wolves leave some for the crows as a thank you for alerting them.
Speaker: Because the crows can't really get into the meat on their own. Yeah, they're they're too afraid. They don't like getting close. It's like when your dad cuts up your steak for you. That's what the wolves are doing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, that's sort I answered my own question. That counts as poaching in my book. Yeah. All right. Well, shall we move on to Reddit questions? Yeah. Why don't we? Hey, how about this?
Speaker: This is from Deep Thoughts. And this is the deep thought. A homeless person in LA could have a smartphone, same as billionaire, and there isn't any better to buy for rich.
Speaker: So what what they're saying is a homeless person in LA could have the same smartphone as a billionaire and there's no better phone that the billionaire could buy. There's no, there isn't any better to buy for rich. I understand. I totally understand where this person is coming from.
Speaker: ah But I think that they, it's kind of baked into the premise a little bit here. The crazy thing is that the homeless person has the phone, right? But I do think it's also crazy that there's no million dollar phone. You never hear about someone with a million dollar phone. In this scenario, the homeless person has the million dollar phone, I think. Yeah, but it's only like $700. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. They're saying that they're saying there is no hypothetical million dollar phone. They don't make their phones that are like sort of the Lamborghini of phones. I bet they do. And we just don't know about them. I guess it just depends on what's on the phone.
Speaker: Like gold app or expensive pictures of a Bugatti. Yeah. That is an expensive. That is a rich guy's phone. You could probably sell a phone. Yeah. A million dollar file. Yeah.
Speaker: How to get rich really quick. The book. The e-book. I'm with the writer. I get it. If i were if i were a billionaire, I wouldn't want to engage with any object that doesn't reach like a certain level of luxury. like have Yeah. if it I would only want things that are inaccessible to upper middle class people.
Speaker: I think this is also what disgusts the billionaire about a homeless man having $2 is because the billionaire just has a billion of those dollars. And he's probably like, wait, why do you have the same money as me? Yeah, the same. what do you Why do you have the same type of thing that I have? Yeah, but it's so sick because the billionaire says, well, even though it's the same amount of money, I still want a billion as as the one that this guy has. They should have a billion dollar bill.
Speaker: So that could be different. That could be different. It'd be hard for a homeless guy to have that unless he stole it. They should have a different currency for rich guys that's called million dollars and it converts at a rate of one US dollar is one million dollar. It's pegged to the USD. Yeah. You can buy coffee for four million. Yeah, exactly. Wait, they have to spend four million dollars on coffee? No, Four million dollars is four dollars.
Speaker: It's just a different nickname for their money. So you're what you're thinking of is you're thinking you we're saying four million million dollars. I thought you were saying that $1 million dollars is equal to $1 million. dollars No, $1 equal to $1 million. dollars Yeah. You thought that what Cameron was suggesting is that $1 million dollars was equal to $1 million. dollars That's why I said no, but he's not saying that. One US s dollar is equal to $1 million. dollar And million is a fancy nickname for their normal money. Yeah. So that's, it's just a different currency that's equal to the USD, but it's named million dollars. But when, so when you're at the coffee shop, yes, someone's paying, there's, they're paying $4 million dollars and you just know that they're rich. it' the That's the only advantage is you know, and it's also that they, their money is a completely different type of thing from every a color. graphic Everything about it is different from everyone else's money.
Speaker: So when the barista says that'll be $4, the rich guy says, actually, I'm a multimillionaire. He maybe even shows his shiny pin. She goes, oh, my bad, sir. That'll be $4 million. And then he gives her his four purple coins. The correct way, it shouldn't be. It's super dollars. Yeah. These are super dollars. like million more. mean, yeah, it's very confusing. And they ring a bell when they make a purchase.
Speaker: And they get everything for free. But the idea of it is super dollars. Right. So that's how you can explain it to people. You're million dollars is like super dollars. It's like a super dollars. Yeah. Yeah. So one dollar is one super dollar, but yeah, it's just super. And then you have to go on to explain. And by the way, in both cases, million dollars, super dollars, they're still just worth a dollar. but here's the thing. You can only, you're only allowed to convert your dollars into million dollars if you are rich.
Speaker: Yes. That's what, because like if you're a homeless guy and you just have like one dollar to your name, like that staying as a normal dollar. Yes. And if you know a homeless guy picks up a super dollar on the ground... It changes back. It detects it. It turns ash in his hand. Yes.
Speaker: um Okay, well, what else could a homeless man have that would bring a billionaire some discomfort at seeing him have it? ah Food.
Speaker: Lobster. Lobster? Food. A large blue lobster. Yeah. An uncooked lobster? A live blue lobster. live blue lobster. Yeah. Because you can't really get more fancy than that.
Speaker: You know, here's what I imagine the billionaire would do. It'd probably be like, hey, buddy, I'll take that off for your hands for you. That's hey, that thing's not edible. Don't worry about it. Then he'd take it, probably bring it home to his personal chef and cook it.
Speaker: Have him cook it. Yeah. Take it away from the home. Because what's a homeless guy going to do with a uncooked live lobster, blue lobster? He would probably just smash it with a rock. They don't know what to do. They don't know what to do. Yeah. right use it to get more more tips or whatever yeah the lobster could pinch see people with dogs the lobster could pinch coins yes it's a real penny pincher that'd be cute yeah the homeless man goes to sleep and he says at love find me some coins and i'll feed you silt
Speaker: so they i think they get paid in silt What is dirt? Silt is one of the... it like loose It's on the triangle. Yeah, it's on the food pyramid. on the dirt triangle.
Speaker: Oh, right. Clay. Soil, clay, and sand. I think silt is is in the middle. I think silt is like... Wet clay. No. There's three points and silt is somewhere in between the three points. I think it has to be grainier than clay, but not quite as loose as sand. Yeah. So in between some of the points, correct? Yeah. I do like looking at this diagram every few years. It's a cool diagram. I like that it that there it really exists.
Speaker: Whoever made it had like super schizophrenia and that's like a rich guy type of schizophrenia. It's somebody who played too much Pokemon. Yeah, I think you're right. Okay, so yeah, silt, sand, and clay. silt is one of the corners, in fact. Silt is one of the corners. Okay, so I see. I was saying dirt, but obviously this is all dirt, I guess. This is types of dirt. Dirt isn't real, right? That's not there. It's not incomprehensible. just means we think something's dirty. Yeah, dirt is not real. just means gross. Dirt means undesirable particles. Yeah, dirt is just stuffs. Yeah. It's insane how much of this triangle is taken up by sandy loam.
Speaker: What is loam? Loam is in between silt and sand, as you can see on the diagram. It's in between Loam is a type of soil. Loam is is soil that's good for growing in, I believe, but i'm not if I'm not mistaken. you know i know i've already I've already exposed myself as not knowing this triangle very well, so I could be quite wrong. What's the most fertile of these silt, I i reckon? I think loam.
Speaker: Right, but of the three, clay, sand, and silt. I guess silt would wil would sound would seem like it, wouldn't it? is a kid Have you ever heard of growing something in clay? No. Or sand, I guess, cactuses grow there. The ever heard of silt is when Pierce said lobsters eat it.
Speaker: That's the only time you've ever heard of silt? I knew it must be word. Do you stay inside all day? Silt is everywhere. It's inside? No, outside. Oh, it's outside. Not inside. ah Silt is granular material of a size between sand and clay and composed mostly of broken grains of quartz. Okay, so it doesn't... Wait, silt may occur as a soil, often mixed with sand or clay. Okay, so soil Okay, but then that soil is all of them mixed together, isn't Yes, I guess so. Which is loam, I think.
Speaker: Right. Loam. Loam is a type of soil, perhaps? Yeah, it has to be. i mean, we yeah what else? Silt is a common material making up 45% of average modern mud. Modern mud? Average modern mud. Average modern mud. 45% silt.
Speaker: Mud used to be different, man. There used to be so much less silt and mud. Why did they change mud? They changed mud so much. Take me back, bro. Now we're kind of getting back to going hoggy style, talking about pigs and mud and all that. So be I guess maybe it couldd be interesting to figure out exactly where on the triangle these pigs are fucking. It's also interesting, you know, ah people say, I'm as happy as a pig in shit, or I'm as happy as a pig in muck.
Speaker: But you could say, I'm as unhappy as a pig in sand. Yeah. if you're If you're displeased. I'm as unhappy as a pig buried in sand slash snow. Sand slash Pokemon. Sand slash Pokemon.
Speaker: All right. Let's move away from Silt. I feel it's not funny. Okay, I have a some ah i have a couple of questions I want to read in a row. So just just wait for a second, and I'm going to go through all these.
Speaker: ah yo ya They're all related, so you'll see why I'm reading them. um This is from No Stupid Questions. This is, when in human history did we start wiping our butts? Did cavemen wipe their butts?
Speaker: Or did they walk around with poopy buttholes all day? Did Homo erectus wipe its butt? Wait, now let me read one more. No stupid questions. Are underwears really necessary to wear?
Speaker: One, I don't like wearing them. Two, will I have a problem in future? I'm 19 years old, man. Three, anyone sharing the same experience? Four, any experiences? And then finally, does anybody else, subreddit, does anybody else spit on the toilet paper a little when the endless wipe just won't quit? You know those times when you wipe and wipe, but there's still poop left? A little spit works great if you've got no wipes or bidet.
Speaker: You know, Edie Modica has a bit about how she spits on the toilet paper before she wipes ah a smearer. and So funny. So funny. My mom was like, I love how you introduced us to Sarah Sherman. I can't believe that she's on SNL. She's obviously very gross. You remember when she talked about spitting on the toilet paper before she wipes her ass, and I was like, that was another gross girl that I know. Okay, well, let's talk about, you know, ass wiping.
Speaker: Primordial ass wiping. Right. I don't think you can get sick from leaving shit there. On your ass. No, I think that it forms a crust if you leave it. Well, yeah, I guess maybe, I guess if you leave shit on you, then the shit will spread to other parts of your house and our surroundings. And that maybe will make you sick if it gets right. um But a kid I mean, it's not going to make you sick just from being on your butt. Not if you're from a nomadic culture, because then you don't have a house.
Speaker: Yeah, but the world is kind of your house at that point. It would just make the whole world into like a big iPhone. Because don't they say that there's more fecal matter on iPhones than even like a toilet rim? What about Android? If you did that and spread it all around, it would make the whole world like modern tech or something. It would just it would completely make the modern world indistinguishable from an iPhone. if Yeah. They should stop putting all that shit in the iPhone.
Speaker: Yeah. that I mean, if that's true. That is an option. but i think, yeah, I think, you know, to your point, Matthew, the use of toilet paper is what makes the iPhone such a ah fecal Petri dish because people are using their hands to wipe their ass. yeah If people switch to bidets, iPhone, the number one particle on iPhones might be, you know, normal pee.
Speaker: Yeah. Or instead of like a one of those glass um screen protectors, just put toilet paper on your phone. Yeah. Or like um a toilet seat. It could be a toilet. Then it doesn't. You can just flush it if it gets poop.
Speaker: Oh, and then it's clean. Yeah. yeah Download the flush app. ah Yeah. i mean Well, flushing. We're very confident and flushing. It's gone. Most people. yeah Why are we so confident when we flush?
Speaker: It's like kind of. Okay. This is the right thing to do. Yeah.
Speaker: I kind of feel like right now, the second I'm like, oh, it's just going down a pipe. Yeah. But i when I flush, I'm like, it's gone. You know? It's gone. But it's not gone. expect to never see it again. Yeah, but you might. But occasionally you do. You might. You might.
Speaker: It mixes with other people, other peoples in the city. It's the same way that I think that milk is homogenized. They do that with feces. Yeah, except it doesn't create a milk.
Speaker: It doesn't become drinkable. Well, it might eventually become drinkable. Well, they do process fecal waste, which is a good idea. I think it would be really bad if we weren't processing fecal waste and just letting it live. I think we should stop processing it.
Speaker: I we should stop. Leave it whole. Yeah. Just this. let Can we stop with all these processed fecal products and just have some natural raw fecal matter? do Do any animals like really eat shit or like is it not that way? I feel like, you know, bugs lay their eggs and shit and then... Yeah, cockroaches eat eat shit. Bunnies? and but Many, many bugs and animals eat shit.
Speaker: Yeah. I think it's pretty common. Do lobsters eat shit? i know bunnies do. Bunnies eat crap? I thought they liked carrots. Lobsters eat anything. They are often called the cockroach of the seafloor for this reason. but there's not human poop. They like spit out their, they like eat each other. they're half done, half digested stuff. And then they re eat the little dingleberries. They leave. Yeah. It's a common strategy. I think with a lot, right. The sort of, they yeah they think there is human poop at the bottom of the ocean. Yeah.
Speaker: They eat hella poop of all types. It doesn't need to be human to be guys take dumps off of their boats. Yeah, but I feel like there are opportunistic ah creatures scoot who don't let the poop sink all the way to the seafloor. And I feel like it's... Right. Lobsters are always looking up like oliver Oliver Twist, waiting for a tiny crumb morsel of human feces.
Speaker: But it's always getting snatched away by the ah vassals of the feudal ocean. I do think human feces must be one of the best. piece It must be like the gold standard. because I mean, if you, um if you think about how much animals like human food and how incredible it must be to them, then even to, even just, you know, i poop must be like 50% of that.
Speaker: Yeah. You know, at least. They say human meat is sweet. And I feel like, um, poop is just your food with like dead blood cells in it. And that's what makes it brown. So if it's like blood pudding,
Speaker: Yeah. It's just blood pudding. It's just blood pudding. Yeah, your best your intestinal tract is a sausage grinder. and it Yeah, it's high quality human food with blood and what, like SSRI? Like other good stuff? Yeah. What did people used to say when they were kids? Pinch off a loaf or something?
Speaker: Loaf. It's basically ah a brown loaf of human yeah and process. It might even be like the icing on the cake. You know? ah Yeah. And I feel like also we take out all the nutrients that we need from our food.
Speaker: And then so the you know the stuff that the animals like, the other nutrients. It's like the crows and the wolves. Yeah. We kind of ah could be ah giving them what they need by pooping ah in their mouths or...
Speaker: it I guess I don't… Pooping onto a cockroach is a good thing to do. and i i reckon that you know i mean I have this theory that Homo erectus or many of our pre-hominid ancestors, they didn't need to wipe their ass. They just spent so many times so much time with ah you know feral wolves and and near dogs that the dogs would just happily go and lick their asses clean. The peanut butter trick evolved from the asshole cleaning trick. Yes. That's also where the anal orgasm was discovered. It was just because of hygiene practice using dogs' tongues to wash the anus.
Speaker: um Then they used the... Yes.
Speaker: And yes. Yeah, I could see that. That makes sense me. what said correct. Most foods that are hyper-processed foods seem to be inspired by shit and wiping. Like, peanut butter is just like, what if peanut what if we digested peanuts into a paste? Yeah, I guess it is all diet just digesting it. Pre-digesting it, yeah.
Speaker: If you fed a guy only peanuts, his poop would be peanut peanut butter. There would be no difference. because it comes from his butt. Butter. Butter. Yeah. Okay, well, what what what about a caveman wiping its ass? I mean, would you guys would you guys think that that... I mean, it works to use a leaf. Yeah, leaf. I mean, and leaves back then must have been huge.
Speaker: Yeah. Have you Land Before Time? Yeah, those were fucking gigantic. Listening with morning dew. Yes. So it is sort of like a spit on toilet paper. It already works. And I bet they were being ironic when they were wiping their asses. they were just like... They didn't even think, like, this is they look prehistoric toilet paper. They were thinking, this is...
Speaker: dinosaur food that when they were, when they were wiping their asses because they had no concept of hygiene or toilet paper or anything like that, they probably were doing that just be like, look what what I'm doing. So dumb.
Speaker: Like, look what I'm just actually like an idiot. Well, I'm what i'm wiping a leaf. Right. He did something funny. Yeah. and now he can hold his poop up in his hand. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking that they were kind of cruelly flexing on the recently deceased dinosaurs. Like, oh I bet you guys wish you were still eating this stuff. I'm going to wipe my ass with it. yeah yeah Dinosaurs suck.
Speaker: We do this to their food. because Dinosaurs couldn't wipe their asses. No. Well, they got dead tails. and i feel like you could get in there at the tail. Is that what tails are for so you have to wipe? Well, scientists, I don't know if they've discovered what tails are for quite yet. No, they're working hard, but think some people don't know if dinosaurs had ass cheeks. That's true. You only know about the bones. You don't really know about the flesh. They could easily have had. Yeah, they could have all been big bubbles.
Speaker: The bones could have been like, could have been like, you know, like 10% of their actual body size and it was floating around. It could be a thousand times bigger than people actually believe the skeletons are just really were comparatively really small. yeah the guy was fat. Yeah. The Overton window of, uh, of paleontologists, you know, when they first looked at them, they imagined that the, the skin was tight, hot tightly hugging the bones. And then some other i was like, no, we don't know how, what the bones were like the shrink wrapping. Yeah. It could be the exact opposite. And they could be ambulating by bouncing on their enormous rumps. They were all circles. I think every single dinosaur was a circle. so yeah
Speaker: I mean, I just think everyone's at like 10% body fat. fucked up. Yeah. It's not right. Seriously. We're rolling balls of lard. We're back to the balls. We love today. It's always coming back to balls, right? I've got to love them.
Speaker: Well, just balls. Yeah. I feel like people always compare balls or spheres with cubes and there's really, and there's no contest. Balls win, right? We see balls all the time, but what do we use cubes for? Building.
Speaker: Yeah, but we don't throw them. Yeah. Dice. Okay. We do stack. yeah we three don' we do play with them a lot, but not as much as balls. Well, again, I think that, I think that, you know, this is interesting because we were talking, I think that cubes are, yeah, more, we work with cubes more and we play with balls more.
Speaker: i think it's time to switch. Even the games that involve cubes are more work-like. Exactly. They're numbers games and odds. And, and the, the, and Minecraft professions that involve balls are more playful, like ah the wrecking ball. Yeah.
Speaker: si Smashing down a building. Sisyphus' torture would have been so much more legible as torture if he was pushing a cube up a hill because everyone knows that that's something working men do. yeah They push cubes around, but it was so ironic because he was like, I wish I could be playing with this ball. And that's when he started to play with it instead of thinking of it as work. I think his torture would have also been a lot a lot more, you know, a lot worse.
Speaker: could have tortured him a lot better if he just couldn't move that thing at all. yeah You know what I mean? He just studied this isn't strong enough. Yeah. Or it crushes him. It just kills him. Yeah. Sisyphus' torture would have been horrible. Why don't they smash him with big hammer? Yeah. If Sisyphus was condemned to do the same task every day for the rest of his life, but they didn't tell him what the task was, God, that would be brutal. Yeah. It'd be hard to see that as play. Or if they were like, every day, Sisyphus, you have to push this ball up this hill, and there's no ball, and there's no hill, and he just has to sit there. And we're going to shoot you. Yeah.
Speaker: And your name is going to be changed to Bozo.
Speaker: And girls will laugh at you. Yeah. Many. Sisyphus was into girls. Sisyphus is into girls. Yeah. Is. Right, or right. Is. Is. He still is. still some say he's still rolling that ball to this day. It's crazy to be into girls while still rolling that ball to this day. I would not be thinking like Where did that happen?
Speaker: His hill. Where was that? Yeah, it wasn't Mount Olympus. Was that in hell? I don't think it was. Or was that on Earth? It was on Earth. It was on Earth. He really on Earth. They had a hill and a ball. that They had him do that. Well, I know it wasn't a ball. It was a rock. We can't Okay, let's take a step back. yeah It was it was was a ball-shaped rock. That's all. Probably. As our historians believe, it was a ball-shaped rock.
Speaker: The reason that myths are dead is because we we have Google Earth. Yeah, there's nowhere that this stuff can happen. No one knows where any this shit is taking place. so they're just like, yeah, probably over there. a lot of Greece was like, where is this happening? Way over there. Oh, up there, up there. do you guys think people back then did believe these myths?
Speaker: Is that is too serious question? I'm genuinely curious what you think. I don't think people believed Sisyphus. i think that I think they were like, well, surely he' he'd die at some point.
Speaker: But maybe he was... It's probably like having sort of like a mom who's afraid of 5G or something where you're just like, get over it. It's not... You're too worried about Sisyphus. It's not happening. Yeah. It's not a big deal. Like you're afraid the boulder is going to roll down the hill and crush your house. I'm to have to do that. Sisyphus messes up. Yeah. No, Sisyphus, no. You know, in like 500 BC, there were like signs outside of Greek homes that says this house, we believe that Sisyphus is lifting a rock up a hill and shouldn't listen to the songs of the fury. I guess, is it sacrilege to, would it be sacrilege if you're like, I think Sisyphus is not real because it would be like you're saying, I think the gods aren't torturing somebody. Like I would feel like that's a good thing for Sisyphus to not be real, right? Like that this guy is not being eternally tortured. but then,
Speaker: It's like, oh, you don't believe in Zeus and all. But if there was a guy who's like, I specific, you know, I'm good with Zeus. I even believe in Hades. I like the rapes. I like the torture. yeah That stuff's all fine. But Sisyphus is not, that's not real. That's unproven.
Speaker: That's not, it hasn't been proven. Yeah. Yeah. I think that would be sort of a woke scold in Greece. That is, yeah. And then the Kraken. and then the the kraken Well, that thing's big. All right. i like that.
Speaker: Yeah. It's big. Huge. Huge. It's a squid. Yeah. It depends on ah if you'd watch that one movie where it says a bunch arms. Do you as dark squid or a light colored squid? Definitely dark. green I would see it as red.
Speaker: Right. Really? Right. Well, because of the squids in real life, I think is the reason I'm saying that. I guess I was thinking more of a monster. Yeah, me too. But I'm taking the color from the real one in my head.
Speaker: Here's, did you have anything to say about the Kraken? You brought it up. No, it just occurred to me. The Kraken. I bet Sisyphus wishes that rock was Kraken. Uh-huh. Yep. yeah hey Yep. though Well, then he's got two. crack Instead, he has to get Kraken. Yeah. it's At the Kraken dawn.
Speaker: Wake up. But you think, does he get to sleep? Sisyphus gets to sleep. I think I'm going to take it easy. I'm going sleep until like 11. Then I'm going to get started on the rock. they're like, that's fine. See, you're doing it forever anyway. you know yeah Honestly, you deserve a break. Zeus is coming down. Listen, buddy. So that you're, you're cutting out at like four 45 every day. I need you to keep pushing that rock till five. That's your punishment coming from me, but yeah like upstairs, like, yeah you know, people are going to be watching and you know, we're, I like you, so I don't want, yeah i just I want to get fired.
Speaker: and So I hate to bring this back to the office. I always tend to, but a lot of the gods thought that the rock was going to be his Dwight. It ended up being his Pam. You hated to do that?
Speaker: No, i I really liked it. I hate to bring this back to The Office, but who is your favorite Office character? ah I've watched very little of The Office. i don't think I don't think I've watched enough to have a favorite character. But Michael Scott is pretty funny.
Speaker: Michael Scott is very funny. I'd have to say him, but I i i have to let you know I'm i'm faking. i don't I don't really know most of the characters. I've seen one episode. Was Audrey...
Speaker: Audrey? Aubrey Plaza. Aubrey Plaza. She was in the other one, Parks and Rec. Widow. She's a widow? Oh, that's right. Oh, he yeah. Recently, Widow. Yes, that was very tragic. That was very sad. Yeah, it was sad. can ask me any celebrity name and I can tell you whether they're a widow or not. Cameron Diaz.
Speaker: I don't think so. LAUGHTER Pretty sure not. But I could be wrong. Maybe. I could be wrong, but I can certainly tell you. Here's my take. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe.
Speaker: yeah Maybe. If her husband or wife died, yeah. If her partner perished, then yeah. That's a good subway take. is I'm not confident whether or not Cameron Diaz is a widow, but I will say if her husband dies, she is.
Speaker: She will be. She certainly is and will be. Her husband dies before her. Right. yeah yeah oh yeah You're not a widow. You're not allowed to be. You don't become retroactively a widow in heaven once your partner joins you. but Yeah.
Speaker: A widow and a widower together forever in heaven. Wow. That's sweet. No, but you go to hell if you die out of, out of wedlock. If you're not married, when you die, you go to hell. There's only one way to die in wedlock and it's a, it's in a ah suicide pact.
Speaker: But there's still one who dies a second before. Like if you're in ah like a car crash or something with your partner. it's like twins, yeah. One of you does technically become a widow and ah the other becomes a widower and no one will ever know probably. The universe processes deaths one at a time.
Speaker: yeah like Even if it's in the same instant, it's like, well, they still have to like go through and laugh yeah yeah it's just like there's some order to it. you know We don't know what it is. but Is there a way that us four can put our heads together and figure out a way for two people in a suicide pact to die at the exact same instant? Or is that simply one of those things? I just don't think there's such a thing laser. Is the closest you could get, right? Because that's light. Or two synchronized lasers. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like like ah like something like something really fast and precise. into the sun.
Speaker: but even then you'd have to be right at the exact point in the spaceship. You know what i mean? Like you'd have to... Like what is killing you in that scenario? Is that they is it the sun? And you'd have to be at the right distance. I guess we would use some sort of like um shield, some kind of special force shield to fly into the center of the sun and then deactivate it and then it would explode the ship at the ok yeah that ah in a nanosecond. Being able to temporarily... I think the the skinnier person would still die of privation before getting... You could put like a laser activated... Okay, you put a laser activated bomb in both people's skulls and then you can do a synchronized laser that touches the sensor at the exact same time. And then they both explode at the same time.
Speaker: Yeah. Lasers kind of solved that one. That's foolproof. But I guess lasers are just fast. They're not like they're quite quick. It's not like they like happen at the same time. Right. as As opposed to anything else. Yeah.
Speaker: Maybe if the time of death is declared at the same time... Legally, you could probably kill two people at the exact same time. No, you could probably not legally kill two people at the same time. If you put their certificate of death... If the doctor says...
Speaker: a time of death for both of these people is and then as soon as he finishes saying the time they've technically died. Well, they probably do that all the time. Right. So I guess that's happened. Or if the both people were able to conjoin into one person. That's also a really interesting, yeah. Then that person new super person could just die whenever and that would be.
Speaker: Even if half of their body dies well that's years before on the other half. It's not a real thing. You go the the hospital. They say half your body died. They don't have to say it. It's obvious.
Speaker: Yeah, it is very if you saw somebody who half of their body died, it would be very obvious. They don't have to make the diagnosis. Everyone just knows. Yeah, part of you. That's so that's the the worst. When you go to the doctor and your diagnosis is so obvious that nobody even says that. Everyone just this looks at you and nods. Everybody has is in full agreement. oh Everyone in the waiting room knows the doctor. Nobody. No words are exchanged. You just leave. Yeah. Yeah. You're sick.
Speaker: Why did you come here? Yeah, we'll heal you, but we're not going to tell you what's wrong with you. It's too obvious. It would be cringe to say what's affecting you.
Speaker: So, yeah. how but Here's a good question from ah No Stupid Questions. Do bars like Moe's from The Simpsons exist where guys just go to get away from home?
Speaker: No. Do bars tend to go home and be loyal to their families? Most people who go to bars go with their families in the real world. That's why The Simpsons is a comedy show.
Speaker: Well, the bar, the Moe's does exist in some theme parks, but I don't think people go there to get away from their families. That's so that's a one that's one where people do go with their families. The most family-friendly bar in human history Moe's.
Speaker: That is odd. You know, it must be so disorienting for the Barts of the world to go into the Moe's taverns of the world with the homers of the world because normally the Barts of the world are only allowed to call Moe the phone. You know, that would be a really good piece of trivia that they should have just, they should, I don't know, I assume this isn't true at this point just because The Simpsons is so long running, but they should have made it true that so that people can say, did you know that Bart actually never sets foot inside Moe's once? in the entire run of the Simpsons. That would been true for a few episodes at least. Yeah, must must have happened. It would be even better if it would if they could say, you know, Homer never actually goes inside Moe's for all the Simpsons. That's true. that way for that was see him enter yeah if that was If that was true, that would be a really good piece of trivia. For all we know, Moe's is a room in Homer's house yeah because you never see him a walk into it.
Speaker: Every room that you don't see him walk into is in his house. Yeah, it could be. that's ah i think that's one of my favorite types of trivia is when you never actually, this never actually happens.
Speaker: And it's because it's always, it's usually either not true. Yeah, people will be like, the most common thing is like, I can't think of ah of like the specific thing, but will be like, these two characters actually never speak to each other, like in the entire movie, or you know what I mean? Yeah. Like that. I don't, I can't think of a specific one.
Speaker: but that type But in movies, it really comes up a lot. Yeah, that's ah that's ah a common piece of trivia that I think is funny. Tom and Jerry. Yeah. They never sit down and have a conversation. Except for in Tom plus Jerry from 2021.
Speaker: Different, yeah. They actually had, ah they sang. You never see Jerry go into his little hole. You only see him come out of it.
Speaker: Exactly. This would be, if all of these things were true, be great. Trivia is just based on forgetting that anything can be inferred. Trivia is an anti-inference view of the world. It was never confirmed that any of the characters on Friends had...
Speaker: living breathing living beating heart no proof that there's anything going on and then someone comes and goes actually in one episode we see the heart if we see a beating heart the character has a hole can actually see a little bit what was that theory What was that theory about... um I guess it wasn't a theory, but it was like ah one of these one of these impressive recontextualizations. bloodyquidward Bloody Squidward. Bloody Squidward. Yeah, Bloody Gur, Squidward suicide. But no, um this ah this... Fuck. Oh, Charlie... or charlie Yeah, Willy Wonka and the Charlotte Factory he was like, Grandpa Joe actually kind of fucked with Charlie's flow.
Speaker: Like he was kind of the one theory that was a theory. Yeah. Did you remember that? Where they were like, so if it weren't for grandpa Joe, Charlie would have had an easy go of Oh yeah. Yeah. His flow. What do you mean? He was always like, Charlie, let's drink the fizzy lifting drink. Let's do this. Let's have fun. Cause I'm old. I'm going to die. It doesn't matter to me to have any of this stuff. Let's give it to Slugworth. Who gives a fuck dude? Let's go hard in the paint. This a once in a lifetime chance.
Speaker: So the theory is just like what happened in the movie? Yeah, but I think most people didn't take away from Willy Wonka that joe that Grandpa Joe was such a scuzz, such a sleazeball. The theory is that he's actually the secret villain. The secret villain, that's right. Back in Cracked days. Yeah, he's actually the secret villain of the movie. Yeah.
Speaker: Morpheus. Morpheus is the secret villain of Willy Wonka. Because he was out in in the real world. He was the chocolate factory.
Speaker: Yeah. He never gave Charlie an opportunity to exit the Matrix. He's clicking on Violet Beauregard and typing in code to make her influence. He's controlling every aspect of that evil factory.
Speaker: ah That factory was bad news. It was scary. It's not good. No, no, no. Shouldn't have been running. Shouldn't have been running at all. And why do they have TV to make chocolate print teleport through TV? Oh, I just realized why. Because it was good idea. Because it was cool. yeah And why did have chocolate tricks to make TV?
Speaker: But actually, why'd they go on a boat? Oh, the river. The chocolate river. There's the only one way down the chocolate river Yeah, that's the only way, isn't it? Besides the tube that Gloop goes through. Yeah.
Speaker: Incorrectly, you remember on IMDb, incorrectly regarded as goofs. Yes. Anyone look at IMDb's trivia? That's a good section. Yes, good i love I love that. Yes. You know it has a really good goofs section on ah IMDb is the Polar Express because somebody who's really into trains went in there. and said, you know you know, this train actually makes an inaccurate ah whistle noise. You know, this actually is this.
Speaker: And they were... the It is... ah funny Yes. Yes. ah The train actually takes place in a magical realm. um Okay, well, moe Moe has a tavern that is designed to sort of collect barflies, like ah sort of like a fly trap. um And a lot of the people that go there, ah some of them that don't even have families, I want to say, but who are the real... I mean, you have...
Speaker: Lenny and Mo and Barney and Homer. I mean, who else goes? There's like background characters in there, I feel like, always. like there's always a Homer is like almost probably the... Because Mo has no family.
Speaker: Yes, Moe's family. Moe's a lonely. Moe's a lonelier. That's confirmed. Barney has seems to have no family. I think they did a saga of Moe where they showed that he... Yeah, where he has nothing and he wants to kill himself. Yeah.
Speaker: Barney has no family, right? I don't think Barney has a family. So Homer is really the only one who's there shirking his family there. So the question should be, are there taverns like Moe's tavern in real life where Homer goes there to be away from his family?
Speaker: ah Is there anywhere in real life that Homer goes or does he mainly stay in the TV? Anywhere that you see Homer outside of the Simpsons is him getting away from his family. Yeah. Fortnite, he was in there.
Speaker: Yeah. so he Well, I guess some of his family was in there, too. Yeah, but he wasn't hanging with Let's Fortnite. Marge, I'm going to Fortnite. Yeah. That was probably fun for them. for that Marge, I'm Homer.
Speaker: hey ah that's sort What's he saying? Do it again. I'll copy yours. Marge, I'm going to Fortnite. Marge, I'm going out to my home. to my home.
Speaker: I'm Marge. have to get of it in my car. He said, I'm Marge. I have to get in my car. Marge, wait. Help me. I'm going to Fortnite. Wait, do it again.
Speaker: Marge, I'm going to Fortnite. Marge. I can't do it. Can you do Marge? Marge. Marge. Marge. Homer. I'm Lisa.
Speaker: march march march i march marge homer oh wait now i'm lisa Wait, that's not... Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa here. Lisa here.
Speaker: So, if this is my family. We're a little bit yellow.
Speaker: Just a little bit. Yeah. They're very... They're overly yellow. That's how you know it's Lisa's talking, because she has a wickedly dry sense of humor. Come on, man. I'm Bart Simpson now. Come on, man. Wait, I'm going to...
Speaker: Wait, I'm going to say I carumba. a a Hey, hey. Bart. I mean, yeah, that's what he says, right? art yeah bar
Speaker: All right. Yeah. Bart. Bart. Bart. Help. Damn. go Damn. Oh, damn.
Speaker: Whoops. Oopsie. Whoops. Dang it. Oh, dang it. Marge. The Simpsons.
Speaker: The Simpsons.
Speaker: You never hear them sing their own theme song. It's such a no. You never actually hear the Simpsons sing their own theme song in the show. They may not know it, which is what's so crazy.
Speaker: Marge, what's our last name? The Simpsons!
Speaker: That's fan episode. Yeah, a that's a big... The fans are always pushing for The Simpsons to sing their own song. yeah Their own theme song. because it's it's been It's been a hundred seasons. haven't done it yet. Nelson sung it, but they didn't get the actual family to sing. this Yeah.
Speaker: Nelson is a great singer. I don't think it's true. It's not true. It's not true. i not Does he ever sing? He sings, yeah. He sings in ah the episode where him and Lisa are dating. They should do like two... He does? He plays guitar and sings. Oh, yeah. They should do like a two-season arc of him being a singer.
Speaker: Yeah, he go on American It's like two full seasons of him singing where every B-plot is about Nelson singing. They should do an American Idol season where it's just Nelson from... And he's with normal human contestants on American Idol. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, normal ones. normal Let's not have them be cartoons. Yeah. do You think they should do... You know what? they should Here's how they should end The Simpsons. All The Simpsons die or whatever. Whatever's going to happen. But then ah one character, maybe it could be Lisa, walks out into the real world. I guess Homer already did that in an episode. But walks on the real world and like, finally, some normal people.
Speaker: Hey, that's really good. but then you see the normal people and it's like Trump and Elon Musk. Yeah. Don't. because there' not some normal after all don't For the first time. Lisa says, no, she actually has some of the Simpsons dough.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. yeah And she's following in her father's footsteps by going into the real 3D world. Well, there was that one episode in the future where she's like, I'm the president now, but the president before me was Donald Trump.
Speaker: So that's one of those. She said that? Yes. Oh my God. In a real episode. I no idea that we were so close to her coming to the real world. We're only a few years away. Yes. We're almost there. um What's this question here? Quinceañera for a dog? Is that messed up?
Speaker: A very beloved dog is turning 15. It is messed up for a bunch of white people to have a quinceañera for it. Is it messed up? Sorry. Is it messed up for a bunch of white people to quinceañera for Does it help, or make it worse, to hire an authentic mariachi band? My friend doesn't want to be offensive.
Speaker: Is it really offensive to have, uh, or is that, if is would it be offensive? That's why it's a question. Is it really off offensive? I know what they're asking, but yeah, but like what's the answer? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Do we have an answer on this one yet? Hmm. I have to give it some thought. I'm waiting for Matthew to answer. Yeah. Maybe we could discuss it, I guess. Matthew, what are your first thoughts? about this one. Well, I find it very interesting that they didn't specify the breed of dog.
Speaker: They're hiding something positive. A Chihuahua. It's a Chihuahua. Yeah. They've been laughing at this at the idea of a Chihuahua. Yeah. I think it's only offensive if it's not a Chihuahua, right? Like the same Bernard. Oh, I never even considered dog ethnicities when I was thinking about this question. I think doing it for a Boston Terrier is like literally a hate crime.
Speaker: Like, I guess, you know are you saying it's it's offensive or not offensive to do it for a Chihuahua? for a Chihuahua, it's appropriate. I feel everyone would love it if it's ah like, oh, look white people. Really? I think I feel like maybe the opposite.
Speaker: I sort of feel the opposite too. I feel like it's a more, I think it's actually only offensive if it's a Chihuahua. Interesting. It's cute and funny for another breed. It's just kind of random, random. you Yeah. It's like, yeah. Chihuahua. It's like, that's, this is the only Mexican thing we know is this dog. So we're going to kind of make fun of the concept of it being Mexican.
Speaker: Yeah. I don't know. i don't think, i don't know if any of them is offensive, but also, you know, I'm not very tapped into quinceanera culture. Is it offensive to throw a quinceañera for a Mexican girl that you don't know?
Speaker: yeah is she there? Yeah. Okay. But it's a surprise quinceañera. Is it offensive to throw a quinceañera for a 15-year-old white girl? That you know. That you know.
Speaker: um That's your daughter. I think it's offensive to hire a mariachi band for it. But I think if you call it a quinceañera, that's probably fine. It's just the word for a can just the word for the birthday party. Is it offensive if you are ah Latino and your whole family is and you have a Latina daughter who's 15 years old and you throw a quinceañera for her and hire an authentic mariachi band to serve Mexican food?
Speaker: You. Me. if Is that offensive? If it's offensive, if I throw quinceañera for an entirely Latino group of people. Yeah, and you're Latino. And I'm Latino. You're a member of that family. Right. And what kind of, am I the Bart? Am I the Homer? Would you that?
Speaker: I guess. Would you do wouldn't want to offend anybody, but yeah, I think I would. I think I would just kind of like nut up or shut up and just put my pussy into it. Put my cock on the table. Would you still it? throw a quinceañera for my Would still do that if you were the Bart of the family? Yeah. Yeah. No, you'd probably ruin it. Would it be weird if... Yeah, Bart ruins. If a young child of the family threw a quinceañera for their older sister without telling their family?
Speaker: No, it'd be delightful. Would that be weird? No, it'd be gorgeous. I think the family would probably have a quinceañera anyway, so it would just be like, why are you throwing your own separate quinceañera for... Right, so you're saying it would be weird.
Speaker: I think it would be. If Bart threw a quinceañera. For old Lisa. For his older sister that exists. His 15-year-old sister. It wouldn't work. Lisa 15. Yeah. Lisa 15, an isotope of Lisa. Lisa 15, huh.
Speaker: um is it Is it offensive to hire a mariachi band for any purpose other than a quinceañera or a traditional Mexican celebration? like Is it appropriate to hire a mariachi band for a wedding between two, ah let's call them children?
Speaker: Two yeah white consenting nine-year-olds. Yeah.
Speaker: I think it's never good to have a mariachi band. It's always It always reads wrong to me. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? Does it get better or worse to have the mariachi band at the wedding of the two nine-year-olds if you're also serving Taco Bell?
Speaker: Hmm. As the catering. Maybe worse. I think that... Okay. Is it better or worse if... Which is worse to have but been the first thing? Yeah. Taco Bell. To be like, we're throwing a wedding for these two little kids. We're going to serve Taco Bell. And then now that now that I think about it, let's add a mariachi band. Or is it worse to be throwing a child wedding? Be like, let's hire mariachi band. And oh, now let's also do Taco I'm going to try to simplify this question. Is it more offensive to be eating taco from Taco Bell and think, you know, I think I should hire a mariachi band because fuck it. yeah you It occurs to you to hire a mariachi band because you're enjoying Bell. or is it more offensive to see a mariachi band performing and then grub hub taco bell to yourself? Yeah, that's true. You know what? Take the child wedding out of the equation is probably smart.
Speaker: That's a good question. I don't know which is worse. Which is worse to be inspired to eat taco bell because you see a mariachi band or be inspired to get a mar I think being inspired to get a mariachi band is so weird that it's like less offensive because it's like what is even something is already going awry in your brain, play an instrument and get hungry.
Speaker: Yeah, no, that I think is like that is like I can understand that impulse and that's what makes it more offensive. I think like where you're like see ah a Mexican cultural thing and be like I want Mexican. i want Taco Bell versus but can you imagine eating an object of food and being like I should hire a Like that's a sick mind already. I think you're not in control. Explain it all your friends. Like what was the occasion? This is so ah awesome. I've never, you know, what's crazy. I've never seen a live mariachi band. What inspired you? And then you say, i actually was eating a gordita crunch and it inspired me to hire this band for a block party. yeah
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. i think it is worse to hire a mariachi band because you ate a Dorito taco. um Shall we go out with one more question? Does anybody else does anybody else have a have to be really cozy to go to sleep?
Speaker: I'm talking multiple blankets piled up, perfect pillow, ice cold room, just the right positioning, and maybe ah hope and a prayer too, to be honest. Damn.
Speaker: Does anybody else have to be really cozy to go to Me, yeah. Yes, I gotta be cozy. ah Yeah, but but really cozy. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, really cozy. No, no, no, no, no. Of course not. not at all. no I do have to be so cozy.
Speaker: I do have to be pretty cozy, I feel like. I think i' I have a pretty hard time getting to sleep if I'm not really cozy. I do not like to be really cozy. I like to be a little bit disastrous in there. I like to have one leg out of the covers. I like to be tossing and turning. I mean, I do that, but I guess in my... To me, i'm think cozy, I'm thinking what... I guess...
Speaker: I guess cozy I'm thinking cozy is the thing that makes me go to sleep. Yeah. yeah So cozy to me is like like sticking out, you know, right. All every which way. Yeah. So maybe no, I guess. Does anyone feel like they need optimal conditions in order to achieve? Does anyone feel like falling asleep just takes you from being awake to being asleep?
Speaker: And then the reverse will wake you up in the morning. I don't find that to be the case. I don't find that I have to reverse the, the you know kind of, I mean, well, no, I feel like I get to the state of optimal coziness and then I pass out. And by the time I wake up, it becomes a disaster. You pass out from, well, I don't remember. i don't remember falling asleep. That got me.
Speaker: it's that um yeah You wake up in the morning in the first thing. Well, that one guy was really cozy. That one guy lose consciousness. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. You lose consciousness. You guys like kind of March into sleep. Like I choose. I go. man And now I select my dream from the menu and then yeah sort of ah lock in as a, as the opening credits. Of course. Yeah. But it's, it's, isn't it? It's fun to, to think of it in those terms. Is it weird to say, I don't even know what's going on when I fall asleep.
Speaker: Is it weird? Yeah. It's weird when you make that face. I don't even know what's going I can hardly remember the situation I'm in right before I fall asleep. Yeah. I remember deciding to go to bed. i remember getting into bed. I remember, let's see, I remember lying there. i remember rolling around, finding the right spot.
Speaker: And I remember, i don't know, some kind of adventure fade into darkness and sleep, but I don't remember. It does feel fade. No, I don't. I don't. I don't. Every time I feel a slow fade, I'm like, gotta remember this for next time because this is probably the feeling of going to sleep. I go, I go, here we go. i ah he leaps me up and I wake back up. Yeah.
Speaker: Get too excited. What's the, what's the least cozy you've been and then had someone wake you up? the least cozy. Like you woke up and you were, you were like, you were really uncozy, but they woke up because they saw you being not cozy or just that you, this cozy, what was the least cozy you've been and still able to sleep?
Speaker: Yeah, what was the least cozy you've been in? and Because I imagine it's a situation where you dozed off. Well, fine. What's the most uncomfortable... No, I understand. You're just saying that you were asleep and you didn't even... yeah yeah So being woken up is not part of the question. I guess not. I'm really sorry I said that. Can we add it to the question? Yeah. What's the last time somebody woke you up?
Speaker: ah This morning. Let's not ask that question. okay Okay. Too personal. Who has partners and not. Who has partners and who doesn't. Right. Oh. Well then. Let's not go there.
Speaker: ah No, but really, how do we conclude here? what What it was the message of all this? What were we trying to convey?
Speaker: Yeah, really. just ah What was this all about? be being just having a good time and just not even worrying. Yeah. This was a worry free episode and I think people will take that, take that away. But, but that said there, there's definitely stuff worth worrying about. Yeah. Maybe that's the message.
Speaker: Right. Just cause we're not going through any of that shit doesn't mean you guys aren't. Right. Somebody else worry about it. you are out there and you're struggling with, you know, any issue, just keep struggling with it and don't just be happy cause we're having fun. Yeah. If you're either worried or not worried. Yeah. Well, if yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless you are, and unless you are in which case keep whatever you're doing, keep doing it and don't let this have any impact whatsoever in any go about your life as if you hadn't listened to this. If you're doing something or not doing something, you're doing something right.
Speaker: That's really good.
