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00:00:01
Leading from Identity, Not Performance
2 Playsin 23 hours
If your confidence is based on your performance, you’ll always be insecure — because your next outcome is never guaranteed. In this episode, Ron Minatrea shares how a subtle mindset shift can change everything about the way you lead and live. You’ll hear his own story of tying identity to success, the crash that followed, and the breakthrough that came when he learned to lead from identity instead of performance.
You’ll discover how to uncover your unique wiring — your vocational DNA — and learn why confidence built on who you are will always outperform confidence based on what you do.
You’ll learn:
- Why performance-based confidence is fragile and unsustainable
- How to uncover the traits that make your leadership unique
- What it means to live and lead with authentic alignment
- How your most valuable contribution flows from your signature blend of strengths
Key Idea:
Your performance doesn’t define your value — your identity drives your performance.
Call to Action:
Reflect on your own unique wiring this week. Where do your beliefs, behaviors, and strengths align — and where do they feel out of sync? When you change how you think about your value, you change how you lead and how you live.
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Transcript
Unstable Confidence Tied to Success
00:00:00
Speaker
If your confidence is based in your performance, you'll always be insecure because your next performance outcome is never guaranteed. Hello, I'm Ron Minitri, and this is the Exponential Mindset Leadership Podcast, where our goal is to help you lead more effectively and live more fully.
00:00:19
Speaker
There was... a season in my life or my career when I was enjoying a string of successes, rotational assignments, growth opportunities, one ride after another.
00:00:30
Speaker
And with every success, my confidence grew. Every wind seemed to reinforce the confidence I had, not just in who I was, but what I was capable of doing until it didn't.
00:00:43
Speaker
See, I hit an assignment where I began to struggle. So suddenly that steady stream of winds dried up and my confidence disappeared with it almost overnight. And I think that's the reality. If our confidence is built solely on our series of successes, then anytime we stumble or even just struggle, it can wreck our confidence.
00:01:07
Speaker
And then once you start to question yourself, that spiral takes over. You hesitate. Maybe you try to avoid making mistakes. You start playing what I call to keep from losing instead of playing to win.
00:01:22
Speaker
And other people sense that. You see, if you don't see yourself as a confident leader, other people won't either. And as I look back, what I eventually realized is that I had been living and leading with a subtle but very powerful limiting mindset.
00:01:42
Speaker
I was allowing my success, what I did, to define who I was. I was letting the activity drive the identity. Now, as long as the activities were going well, I felt strong in confidence. I was good.
00:01:58
Speaker
But when they didn't, my confidence collapsed because my identity was riding on my performance. Now, obviously,
Identity and Imposter Syndrome
00:02:06
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I've come to see that I'm not alone in this. I think a lot of us knowingly have that same mindset.
00:02:13
Speaker
And maybe maybe the simplest way to say that is, I had come to believe the lie that my performance determines my value. And that belief can show up in different ways. I mean, one would be tying my identity to my wins. That's kind of like watching the scoreboard.
00:02:32
Speaker
As long as the numbers look good, we feel good. But when the scoreboard turns against us, we feel like we're losing ourselves, not just the game. Now, for others, it may not be about wins at all, but more about what other people think.
00:02:49
Speaker
um And I think that's where this imposter syndrome creeps in sometimes, too. When we're not confident in who we are, we go looking for affirmation. We try to be who we think others want us to be, and then we keep needing them to validate that we're doing okay. or here's another one, we try to be who we think we need to be even though deep down inside we don't believe that's who we are.
00:03:14
Speaker
Either way, it's the same problem. We're letting
Valuing Self Over Achievements
00:03:17
Speaker
something very fickle and external define our internal. And when that happens, insecurity has to follow.
00:03:28
Speaker
But the good news, here's the truth. My performance does not determine my value, nor my identity. In fact, it works the other way around. It's when I know and believe in who I am when I lead from identity before activity, it actually drives superior performance.
00:03:47
Speaker
So how does my thinking need to change? Well, key shift. Instead of valuing what I do as the way to define who I am, i want to value who I am first and let that drive what I do. And that's really what we mean in the exponential mindset when we say value who before do.
00:04:06
Speaker
Now, Great. Let's say that that's what you want to do. The next question is, how do I discover who I really am? mean, how do I uncover that unique value so that I can live and lead with confidence even in challenging times?
00:04:25
Speaker
For me,
Childhood Ambitions and Identity Traits
00:04:26
Speaker
um that journey started a long time ago when I wrote my very first life plan back in the third grade. Now, in it, I was going to play college football and then turn pro.
00:04:37
Speaker
But by 24, I'd retire and live off the land in a cabin before joining the Army to become a sergeant. But once I turned 35, I was going to be elected president of the United States for two terms.
00:04:53
Speaker
But then at 43, I'd go back to playing pro sports, not only in the NFL, but also in Major League Baseball. And as a kid, like most kids in that era growing up, I always wanted to be an astronaut.
00:05:08
Speaker
Now, interestingly, a few years back, I found that original document that I had written all those years ago. I was first fascinated by how ambitious my plans were, but the second thought was, man, I haven't done any of those things.
00:05:24
Speaker
But I did step back and look at it and look a little deeper. And that's when I realized, actually, everything I said i wanted to do reflected something about who I was then and who I really still am today.
00:05:39
Speaker
So let's go through it. See, wanting to be a sergeant was inspired by a popular TV show that featured this small band of brothers each week on this special mission.
00:05:53
Speaker
And what what it was is I was drawn to the camaraderie that those men shared. And for my entire career, I've pursued and enjoyed the camaraderie of working in small teams.
00:06:05
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Now, being president was being about being a leader, right? But I've always been stirred by examples of outstanding leadership. I've led teams, led organizations.
00:06:17
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And even today, I've dedicated my work to helping build better leaders. My fascination with being an astronaut was um because I love the way that every detail of every mission was very carefully planned and executed.
00:06:33
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And much of my career was built on planning and executing large, complex projects, operations, missions, if you will. So even as a kid, the things that I dreamed of doing were really hints of who I was and who I was becoming.
00:06:52
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Those threads, the camaraderie, the leadership, the planning and execution have shown up in every role I've ever played everywhere. And that's why
Vocational DNA: Strengths and Passions
00:07:03
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those things resonated with me all the way back then.
00:07:06
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And that's the point. Identity isn't found in what you do. Identity is found in those parts of you that you bring to everything that you do.
00:07:19
Speaker
who we are is shaped by something that's deeper than a title or a role or a position. It's in this internal wiring, the the traits that show up in and across everything that you do.
00:07:34
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it's It's in our core beliefs and values. It's in our strengths, our natural strengths, or what Marcus Buckingham describes as those things that make us feel strong, things that bring life to us.
00:07:47
Speaker
It's in our passions. And Maybe that's become an overused word these days, but I think it's really just those things that stir us naturally inside. And it's not because ah we learned it or someone taught us that we should, but it was because it's just naturally something that we care about.
00:08:05
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And when you pull all that together, you have what I call your vocational DNA. And i think I think it's just as unique as your biological DNA. There is no one else like you.
00:08:18
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Now, Once you've examined and begin to understand those traits, I think there's another step we need to take. And that is ask yourself, am I living consistently on the outside with who I am on the inside?
00:08:32
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Is there alignment across all the parts of me or do I see a mismatch somewhere? Do who I am, what I believe and how I behave all line up?
00:08:44
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I can tell you this, if they don't, that comes at a cost. If I say i value integrity, but I cut corners when the pressure's on, I know down deep inside something's off.
00:08:57
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The gap between belief and behavior create dissonance, and that dissonance is like um like a slow leak. it It drains energy, and it drains confidence.
00:09:10
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If my wiring leans introverted, but my role demands constant extroversion, the strain of that will eventually show. if my strength is in vision and strategy, but I'm buried in the weeds and the details all day long, then I'm going to feel out of step with myself. This isn't who I am.
00:09:29
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And if we're constantly living with this sort of mismatch, it creates an unsettled sense that it feels ah inauthentic. We somehow know this isn't the best version of who I am.
00:09:43
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And other people pick up on that as well. And I think at best, it leaves us less effective than we could be. And I think
Aligning Identity with Actions
00:09:51
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even worse, it leaves us far less fulfilled than we should be.
00:09:56
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But when those parts of me do line up, it's a completely different story. My words, my actions, my wiring, and my values, when they're all consistent, I can live and lead with confidence in all circles and in all situations.
00:10:15
Speaker
I don't need to lean on the scoreboard and keep watching that or depend on other people's approval because I am steady inside. I'm clear and comfortable in my own identity.
00:10:28
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I can tell you this too. Being around people, maybe you've noticed this, being around people who are settled in that way is inviting. I think it opens the door to trust. You're not pulling on people for their affirmation or trying to prove something or to one-up somebody.
00:10:45
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There's a sense that there's just no hidden agenda because what you see is what you get. And people tend to lean into that. I think it's one of the most critical factors of becoming a leader that people truly want to follow.
00:11:01
Speaker
Okay,
Unique Contributions and Effectiveness
00:11:02
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so let's assume that you've got your vocational DNA down. You know that set of traits that make up who you are and you're living with all those things aligned inside and out.
00:11:13
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I think there's one other step that you can take that would truly multiply your impact. See, your most valuable contribution rarely comes from a single trait or strength.
00:11:24
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Instead, I think it comes when we blend our various traits to form unique and valuable combinations. For example, I've never been an electrical engineer or mechanical engineer, but I do understand things at a technical level, and I can generally understand sit down and follow what they're saying.
00:11:44
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Now, that is one trait. But I also have the ability to translate that, to put those same ideas into different or plain language for a different audience.
00:11:55
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Maybe that's a sales team. I did that a lot. Or a customer or another executive. And that translation ability is yet another trait. And then there's planning. I'm wired to break things down, map them out, and see how all the pieces fit together. And that's yet another trait.
00:12:13
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And any one of those traits can be good. um lot of people may have them individually. But when I put them together, the technical understanding, the translation, and the ability to break things down and map out how they should come back together,
00:12:31
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that combination becomes more unique and it becomes more powerful. It allows me to bridge groups who often struggle to communicate with each other.
00:12:42
Speaker
So if I want to know where is that important and where can I bring that value, I'm on to something. See, we don't just seek to understand and embrace our individual set of traits, but we intentionally look for ways to combine the disparate traits into a fresh signature blend, if you will.
00:13:03
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And that unique blend becomes something that only you can provide. And if you've if you've targeted that to be towards something that's important or valuable to the ones you serve, it's powerful.
00:13:16
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think Think of it for a minute ahlthough like a two-by-two matrix forming four quadrants. Now, on one axis is that blend of traits that makes your unique contribution. And the more unique, the higher it goes.
00:13:30
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And on the other hand is how important or valued that is by those you serve. That top right-hand corner is where you're going to find your most valuable contribution.
00:13:43
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You're doing something important in a way that no one else can do it. really does It's really the law of supply supply and demand. when When you bring a rare combination of traits to something that truly matters, you're creating value that only you can deliver, that's in high demand.
00:14:00
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And when you operate there
Rooting Confidence in Identity
00:14:01
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in that fresh zone of making your most valued contribution, I can tell you this, you will lead more effectively and you will live with a greater sense of fulfillment.
00:14:11
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Because you're bringing the best of who you are in a way that only you can to something that really matters to you. So what have we said today? Well, first, you don't want your confidence built solely on your wins, your achievements, or successes.
00:14:27
Speaker
And that includes a title, a role, or a position. And you don't want to constantly be looking to others to validate who you are or trying to be someone that you don't believe yourself to be.
00:14:41
Speaker
Instead, root your confidence in who you are apart from what you do. Take the time to understand and embrace your unique wiring, your values, your strengths, those passions, what I call your vocational DNA.
00:14:56
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These are the threads that show up in how you approach everything that you do in every role that you play. By the way, just as a side note, I think sometimes we're truly so familiar with these traits that we dismiss them as being valuable as part of who we are.
00:15:14
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We just take them for granted. But when we're careful to define them so that you understand and embrace each of those natural traits and then align them so that everything inside lines up and matches what we see outside and then combine them,
00:15:32
Speaker
taking all those disparate traits to thoughtfully develop this fresh signature blend that is both unique and important to those we serve, that allows you to make your most valuable contribution.
00:15:48
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So let me ask you simple question. How clear are you on who you are apart from what you do? Can you articulate the set of traits that makes your contribution valuable?
00:16:01
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unique and valuable? Are you truly clear and comfortable in your own identity and able to live with confidence even in challenging situations?
00:16:13
Speaker
This week, step back. Consider how do you see yourself and what you have to offer? And if you feel it's easier to define who you are by looking at what you do,
00:16:25
Speaker
I want to encourage you to begin to change how you think in this area. And that's the shift we're talking about in this series. Because when you change how you think, you change how you lead and how you live.
00:16:38
Speaker
Thanks for joining me. Have a great day.