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#98: Sarah Woulfe: Unlock your true potential, break free from fear and find inner balance
731 Plays4 months ago
In this episode of the Kate Hamilton Health Podcast, I sit down with Sarah Woulfe, a certified mindset coach specializing in NLP, EFT, CBT, and mindfulness. Together, we dive deep into the world of mindset and emotional healing, exploring powerful techniques like EFT tapping and matrix reimprinting that can help release trauma, shift perspectives, and unlock your true potential.
Sarah shares her inspiring personal journey of overcoming self-doubt, negativity, and fear while rebuilding her confidence and embracing her authentic self. We also discuss the dynamics of internal versus external validation, how the ego impacts our decisions, and why redefining success is key to living a balanced life. Plus, Sarah introduces practical tools like gratitude journaling, morning routines, and mindfulness practices to support emotional well-being.
Whether you're looking to deepen your self-awareness or gain actionable insights to enhance your mindset, this episode is packed with value!
Episode Highlights
[00:00] - Welcome to the Kate Hamilton Health Podcast
[00:13] - Meet Sarah Woulfe: Mindset Coach and Healing Expert
[00:41] - Exploring transformative mindset techniques
[03:08] - Sarah’s personal story of overcoming negativity
[04:33] - The magic of EFT tapping and emotional release
[05:25] - How EFT can shift trauma and unlock potential
[11:51] - Matrix reimprinting explained: A tool for deeper healing
[13:15] - Understanding and addressing childhood trauma
[19:21] - Inner child work: Connecting with and healing past wounds
[22:12] - Redefining success and understanding the role of ego
[30:22] - How ego shapes reality and impacts authenticity
[32:18] - Balancing ego and your true self in adulthood
[32:58] - Why meditation and mindfulness are life-changing
[43:28] - Navigating social media while protecting personal boundaries
[49:02] - The irreplaceable value of human connection
[54:10] - Final reflections on mindset, healing, and authenticity
Links & Resources:
- Connect with Sarah Woulfe on Instagram here
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends who might benefit. For more health and fitness tips, follow me on Instagram and TikTok @katehamiltonhealth.
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:08
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Kate Hamilton held podcast. So in today's episode, I chat with Sarah Wolf. Sarah is a certified mindset coach specializing in helping women break free from negativity, rebuild confidence and design a life they love.
00:00:27
Speaker
So she has certifications in NLP, EFT, CBT and mindfulness.
Mindset and Personal Development
00:00:33
Speaker
And we talk all things mindset in this episode. So if you're into mindset, you are in for a treat. We talk about EFT tapping and matrix re-imprinting.
00:00:45
Speaker
two things that I didn't really know anything about. So I learned a lot about what that is all about. We talk a good bit about external validation versus internal validation. I'm really learning how to focus on what's actually important. We talk about the importance of building a life that we love and that freedom. We talk about and NLP a little bit more and where you go back in your life timeline and go back to trigger points in your childhood or your earlier years that have helped to kind of build your view on the world and learning how to let go of trauma and being able to move forward.
00:01:29
Speaker
in your life with a new perspective. We talk a lot about ego and true self and how we don't need to get rid of ego, but the certain amount of ego is important, but that we need to learn to be able to detach a bit from our ego, really connect with our true self. Then we spend a little bit of time talking around morning routines. We talk a little bit around health in itself. I think you're really, really going to enjoy this episode. I certainly did. So without further ado, here is the episode with Sarah Wall.
00:02:02
Speaker
Hi Sarah, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me in this lovely, frosty morning at 6am. Yeah, I've got my cup of coffee in hand with the heat on now, the kids will be a little bit warm when they wake up. We're recording this at 6am. Good, because I'm up now and I'm dressed, you know, and I feel like I can do a load of work now before Healy gets up. so like I don't often do a 6am podcast. I have one every now and again. And I feel great for the day because I always ah like always feel so energized after these conversations. So it's always a really, really great way to start the day. And hopefully our listeners now, anyone listening first thing in the morning, we're setting you up for the day as well. But I'm really excited to chat. As I was saying to you, I messaged you yesterday. I was like, this is right up my street.
Sarah's Transformative Journey
00:02:43
Speaker
So I'm really excited to dive into all things we're going to dive into.
00:02:46
Speaker
But before we do, do you want to introduce yourself, tell everyone a little bit about your background, your story, and kind of what's brought you to where you are today? The problem with this question, Kate, is this usually hangs up about three quarters of the podcast. Absolutely. I know, I want to know, can I keep it brief enough? So my name is Sarah Wolf. For anyone who ah who doesn't know me, it's Sarah Wolf's mindset on Instagram.
00:03:08
Speaker
and What brought me here, Kate, was a very, very tough year in my life. I would say we're talking kind of 2013, 2014, in and around those couple of months, end of 2013, starts 2014, where I would say, I think everyone knows when they've had like just just a really bad year. And really what what it is, ah is this was a build up of events that brought me kind of to my knees, my sense of self, my identity, and You know, there was some emotional abuse in there. There was some bullying in there. but It's never just the event. It's always a build up of stuff. This stuff had been kind of happening like for everyone. Everyone goes through their own trauma, their own, you know, stuff, I suppose growing up and the sense of self is always morphing from these.
00:03:52
Speaker
particular events, but this year was really really difficult for me. I had just moved away as well to the Middle East and I had just gone through a few experiences that were like, I always say like your confidence, is it's it's like a big balloon full of sand and it gets chipped away at every so often and I really felt deflated at this point. I just entered a bit of a depression, like anxiety but at a higher level. I felt very paranoid about my sense of self at this point and I suppose The turnaround point for me was thinking I was depressed, going to the doctor, you know, for him to kind of give me this like scorecard and to tell me I wasn't actually depressed and I was fine. So around the same time, funnily enough, my mother is like holistic care, but she focuses mainly now on reflexology and teaching and
00:04:37
Speaker
But back then she was doing this, this amazing therapy called emotional freedom techniques, which is EFT tapping. I was like
EFT Tapping and Emotional Healing
00:04:44
Speaker
her guinea pig. Now, if you saw someone doing tapping for the first time, you'd think they're stark crazy. Like I was like, what is she at here with her little glove on? And she was actually doing the tapping on me. It was so funny. I just started opening up for the first time. Like, of course I've had counseling and therapy in my life, just like around, you know, but my Nana passed away or, you know, it wasn't anything, um,
00:05:03
Speaker
major major if that makes sense. So I said let's just give this a go and I literally sat in her room her little holistic room with her one day and I just started opening up ah about you know a particular relationship and then obviously the bullying that had the Little episodes of bullying like that through in my life you know through school days but then one particular episode in my adult life that's really what I was supposed to cause the breakdown.
00:05:25
Speaker
But obviously, like I said, it's so interesting when you start at the tapping, which basically is a, you know, it combines principles of ancient Chinese acupuncture and modern psychology. So, you know, with acupuncture.
00:05:37
Speaker
You get needles on the various various meridian points. For EFT tapping, you're actually using your fingers. So you're tapping on the same points with your fingers. So you are freeing up energy in your body while focusing on the emotional discomfort or the physical discomfort, like while talking about what you're bothered by or what you're experiencing. By doing that, you're reducing the stress and you're restoring balance in the body and the energy system because all negative energy is energy that's not moving in the body.
00:06:04
Speaker
So I know it sounds a bit mad, but I think what I love about EFT tapping is it's so easy to learn. It's so quick. Once you're with the right person or once you learn some right materials, two amazing names, Gary Craig, he's a YouTube videos are amazing. He's like the guru in it. He's the creator. I'm pretty sure the founder of it. And Nick Ortner has a brilliant book on it as well. And once you learn this skill, it really opens up so much. For me, it was flood works of tears. You know, I just started tapping and she was just asking me, tell me what you're feeling.
00:06:33
Speaker
And I was like, I just feel a lot of shame, you know, and I just kept tapping, kept tapping. We must have done done this for like weeks on end at that point in my life. and And I just crying and crying and crying. And like, she got me to really exaggerate the pain as well. You know, that kind of way. And she's like telling me, bring me back to that moment. Like who's in the picture? What's going on? And then it reminded me of past events before that. Do you know what it means? It brings up stuff to the surface that's never been dealt with. It was such a clearing out process and there was one, you know, boyfriend in particular that was coming up and you know having to picture all that and like I swear to you like after enough tapping rounds what it does that it calms your body down you face it there and then and after a couple of rounds you can barely think of the thing that upset you it's absolutely
00:07:20
Speaker
wild. like It really allows your brain to almost disassociate from various events. This is fascinating. so EFT stands for? Emotional Freedom Techniques. Emotional yeah yeah emotional Freedom Techniques. When it comes to like energy in the body, like when we think there are so many different techniques techniques and it's so interesting because i've I've spoken to so many different people and I've you know i into yoga myself. So very, very much aware of like the energy centers of the body and how important it is to, you know, keep energy moving and to put pressure on these energy centers on these chakras. I also have done quite a lot of therapy work myself over the years. And it's amazing that like the combination of both. So in a way, I suppose, is it a bit kind of like Reiki, except you're actually physically tapping the energy centers. You know, the way if you go to a Reiki master, I don't know if you've ever done Reiki
00:08:12
Speaker
that their hands are over the centres and they're drawing the energy out of you? Yes, it's actually not. it what It is and it's not, I suppose. I do love my Reiki sessions, by the way. I've been to a couple of them and whatever it is, I just always feel so light and free after them. But I couldn't, I don't know much about Reiki. Does that make sense? So I suppose the energy systems may be the same. I suppose the physicality of the EFT is different because you're actually physically, I guess, kind of like working on those points, but I don't know the actual differences between the both of them.
Energy Flow and Well-being Practices
00:08:44
Speaker
I've just been so laser focused and on yeah EFT. You know, yeah it's just, it's so fascinating because when we, when I hear different practices or I hear different mindsets about different things or, you know, talking about anything, it's amazing how we're all talking about the same thing when it comes to like the release of energy and getting energy going and feeling good. I just find that absolutely fascinating. I had the most amazing yoga teacher back in the day when I first got into it in my twenties and
00:09:09
Speaker
She like really kind of taught me about the energy centers. I was like, what, what are, what are we even talking about? And how is, you know, like your, your seven chakras of your body, they are actually your glands on your body, you know? So your endocrine system and your, and your energy system is the same thing. It's just whether you're talking about it in a scientific way or in a bit more of a spiritual way. But she really taught me that, you know, with the different yoga poses, like a downward dog or a cobra or like whatever you're doing.
00:09:36
Speaker
what energy centers you're actually putting pressure on. So if you're in a downward dog, you're working your pineal and your pituitary gland or your your crown and your third eye chakras because you're putting pressure on them. And that's what makes you feel really good after it. And I was like, that makes so much sense that that's why you feel so good. You know, if you do a really good yoga session and then you lie on the ground in Shavasana and you can feel your energy moving through your body.
00:09:58
Speaker
It's wild, you're sore. And I suppose with EFT, just as he said that, you'll always feel if you do this for the first time, for example, you'll feel exhausted after it. Like I always say to my girls, if you're doing it the first time, you will be exhausted. It could bring up an awful lot more emotion actually that that whole week.
00:10:14
Speaker
maybe similar to Reiki is bringing stuff to the surface, you know, but also you'll be very dizzy doing it the first time. So you could actually feel that energy start floating. And you know, it's so talked about, like it's talked about and it's not, like a lot of people haven't heard of it, but like Tony Robbins talks about it. Like there's a lot of big names that talk about it, but for some reason, I feel like we're only scratching the surface with a here, but for me anyway, it's been life-changing. Absolutely life-changing.
00:10:37
Speaker
Yeah. And what I find interesting is I'm bringing it back to a comparison with yoga or Reiki, but just because that's not even Reiki, if we just look, you know, with yoga, you're very much focusing on the present moment and not diving into your thoughts and your, your troubles and your past, you know, you're focusing on the present moment, but by taking that emphasis on your energy system and then diving into your psychology, that's amazing. Like release that emotion. A lot of people would rather avoid, you see, but the more you avoid, the more it does persist, I guess. And it doesn't apply to everyone. I've got some clients who, I'll do the E, because I'll teach all my clients E, if they're tapping, I'll give them the manuals, you know, so they have it. But I've got some who just live and breathe, and others wouldn't as much, they'd rather do the breath work or the, you know what I mean? So that's completely dependent on the client, but for actual childhood trauma, or even more recent trauma it is fantastic because we can do this kind of movie technique where they don't even have to tell me the exact details of the trauma but they can tell me about the emotion and they can go there in their mind and we can talk does that make sense so there's a lot of amazing perks of it for someone who wants something quick and efficient instead of I suppose lots and lots of therapy sessions just talking about it they want to actually work
00:11:46
Speaker
and a somatic I suppose you could call it somatic practices really practice Release practice, yeah. I suppose before we move on I kind of then brought in the the matrix re-imprinting which I know a lot of people were asking me about so that's It's another advanced EFT technique. So after we do the tapping and we kind of clear the energy systems, it's kind of like, you know, the ghost of Christmas past, what do you call that movie? The Muppets. It's like a Christmas Carol. You know, when he goes back in time and the one and he thinks differently about it. It's like, I get them to do like a really cool visualization of like them right now, like.
00:12:20
Speaker
looking really amazing with everything they've achieved in life, going back to that version of themselves in that moment, in that painful moment to give themselves a hug and like what they need to hear at that time. And that's really freeing. That's
NLP and Personal Growth
00:12:33
Speaker
amazing. And what's that, that's called matrix re-imprinting. It is, but you know, Kate, I went on to study NLP time therapy, which is like almost like a more advanced version of that. But if you want to get started, like the EFT technique is called matrix re-imprinting.
00:12:48
Speaker
The time therapy is like going back to your timeline, any event in your timeline. The ability to change the beliefs in that moment or to see it in a different light. Yeah. I've done a lot of this actually, because I am working with TMP. I don't know if you've heard of TMP. Oh my God. Yes. I love them. Yeah. Like Kieran is amazing. Kieran was on the podcast there a few weeks ago, but obviously they practice a lot of of and NLP and I am working with a wonderful coach called Charlotte. And we've done a lot of that just for anyone listening that, you know, our belief systems that we have of the world right now is an accumulation of
00:13:22
Speaker
our childhood experiences, our earlier life experiences, and we build this belief about ourselves, about how we see the world. And it's ah it's subconscious. And by going back in your timeline to to a time that, you know, stands out or what whatever, never depends on the conversation you're having, I suppose, at the time, you can go back and reframe how you view yourself or the situation in order to free yourself from past trauma. And I think, yeah, it's it's extremely powerful.
00:13:53
Speaker
It's extremely powerful because all of a sudden when you do the energy work plus the belief shifting work with it, you know, there really is little left to heal, you know, in a sense. And I think as well, can I just say for anyone who, I suppose there there there is a common misperception I find up, I've loads of work to myself. And I feel like while, yes, I totally understand where this phrase comes from, it can overrule a lot of people's minds. Does that make sense? Where they think, God, I've so much to do.
00:14:21
Speaker
But I actually think you can do that quickly and effectively. And that's my belief about it. Yeah, I think as you get to understand yourself a little bit more, you know, and like, for example, I would I have a history of like in my 20s, I would have suffered quite badly with with chronic anxiety and panic attacks took me a good few years to really get to grips with that. But at the time, it was very much something that was happening to me. But even now, as I'm heading towards 40, I still quite often will find myself I will always revert back to fear.
00:14:50
Speaker
And it's funny, like fear is my default. And I was like, Oh, like, you know, is this safe? It's just the way I'm wired, right? But from doing this work with my coach, Charlotte, I've realized this actually stems all the way back to my early childhoods and to how my dad always wanted to protect me and it's actually some of his trauma being like manifested in me. I was the firstborn and I was like their precious baby that they wanted to keep safe and he was quite anxious about it for lots of his own personal reasons you know and that made me as a small child be afraid of things but I always just thought oh I was just an anxious child but as I think about it I'm like I was an anxious child because that was my experience of
00:15:34
Speaker
you know like some of the people looking after me felt a little bit anxious about oh is this safe you know and my dad was a guard so he saw a lot of bad things happen you know and then as a teenager he was like oh god he can't do that or you know he'd tell me this horrible story about something horrible had happened someone to keep me from doing things you know which is In a way, it did keep me from, you know, doing drugs or things like that because I was terrified. so would hit He be listening to this, I hope. Like in that way, that manifested in me. And I'm not saying he caused by any type of anxiety disorder in me, it was but that was how I experienced the world. Just that it's a little bit unsafe and you always need to be on guard. And I didn't realize until quite recently that not everyone's programmed that way.
00:16:16
Speaker
Like, I as suppose as I did, but I kind of thought, no, everyone worries about things or, effort you know, everyone knows that, you know, you really need to watch it because things can can be quite unsafe. And I'm like, oh, some people actually don't experience the world that way. And that was eye opening. I was like, wow, that's how much power your childhood has. And I didn't have anything traumatic, extremely traumatic happened to me. You know what I mean? Like I have not experienced abuse, you know, growing up as a child, yeah, difficult social situations as we all have, you know, growing up, you know, it's difficult being a child in school in the school setting as a teenager. I think we really need to make sure we're not undervaluing our trauma because I just think it has such such a power over that we don't even realize. I'm just using that little fear default as an example.
00:17:00
Speaker
Well a really good activity for the listeners now that you've brought that up and you can share as well maybe what technique you use to define that or whatever but something I would get my clients to do and anyone at home can do this as well is create I call it the life clock but like you can say a timeline whatever like a line in your page and Just write down as many events as you can think about from birth to now, you know, like for you, that would be like conversations at your dad or, you know, like how he made like not, not particular in a negative way. oh But it's funny how this came up for me was, yeah, we did the timeline yeah and it was like, what's the earliest memory in your childhood where you didn't feel safe?
00:17:39
Speaker
And I was like, when I went in into senior infants and I changed school. um like I literally hadn't thought about that ever. like not since my I don't remember ever thinking about that. So it's not like something that's playing in my mind. I was like, wow, yeah, I did change schools. for i I was in junior infants in one school and then I went to senior infants. And it was obviously really traumatic. I don't remember how lot of it i actually don't remember how a lot about my early childhood in general.
00:18:01
Speaker
But that came out and I was like, wow. And then she like was digging deep a little bit with me and being like, what, why didn't you feel safe? And I started like talking about it and suddenly I just like the floodgates opened and I was like release of tears. And I'm like, that was really it. Like, and I was exhausted after the session. I was like, that's really interesting. That's not something that I ever thought about, ever.
00:18:24
Speaker
And it's crazy that you started crying because that's what I love when a client starts crying. I'm like, yes, let those tears fall. That's incredible. The music there's stuff to release. That's wild. Yeah. You'd never know. You have to physically think about it. And that's what came up for you. And that's funny you said that because I actually changed school and senior infants as well. And I remember automatically not feeling good enough because I didn't feel like I fed it in. You know, little things like that. yeah You're the new girl and that's really hard. And And I say to my client, that's quite a significant change in your life.
Spiritual Insights and Personal Reflection
00:18:54
Speaker
that You change um job or school or whatever that can be, you know, even if it's positive, any change is very difficult. So so that's, that's wild that you, that you've been doing that with GMP. And I love that for you. And like I said, at home, anyone listening, do that, like write down some of the events. And like I said to you, you know, kind of conjure up the most confident version of yourself now and go back and give yourself a hug in that moment and kind of tell yourself what you need to hear. And I was like that, even that shift alone can be super, super powerful.
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah, or even going onto YouTube and finding some good inner child meditations. Oh my God, inner child meditations trigger me. Like I was at, what do you call it? Wellfest in Dublin there in May. And Jerry Hussey was there. I love Jerry Hussey. Like he is absolutely amazing. Like I'm like, I'm getting him on this podcast someday. I've said it. He's going to be, I'm going to be talking to Jerry Hussey. He's amazing. But he was doing a talk and he got us to close our eyes and he did a little bit of inner child work. And when I tell you the tears are streaming down my face,
00:19:51
Speaker
So. people I was like oh my god I'm so triggered by the inner child stuff but it's like you go back to your child self and telling them that you know everything will be okay and that you're stronger than you think and you know you're hugging this small child and I don't know if it's more effective for me because I was with my friend and she did not find it as effective you know and she has as much trauma as I do you know what I mean and she is into this stuff too she was like hey what is wrong with to you well she didn't say that but I could see her looking at me like are you okay but and I wonder is it as a mother
00:20:22
Speaker
as well because I know, like you see your own children, you know, navigating their way in the world and then it brings you back to your own child. Really, really powerful. So like, as well as, you know, doing that timeline, I do think try an inner child meditation as well. Well, you're able to say that because that's like the next part of my program. We do the timeline therapy, the EFT and the life class stuff. And then actually the next step is an inner child editor.
00:20:44
Speaker
It's now that you've freed up a lot of the energy and the emotion around it. The inner child work is just tell her how proud you are, of you know, tell yourself how proud you are of yourself, for your strength, your perseverance, forgive yourself. And I did the Karina Talley meditation. Karina Talley, it's Karina Talley. Yeah. I just have that in my folders as well. It's joining and they love it. They love it. So yeah, it's really effective, the inner child work. Yeah, really powerful. It was just really interesting. Like, you know, I've listened to a lot of podcasts and I've read, read his books, but just listening to him talk. I'm like, I'm doing one of his retreats one of these days. Definitely. He's just so passionate when he talks and he just hits the nail on the head. A very no BS kind of a way in a really Irish way. And like, and that's what I think that's what it is. Cause you know, like Tony Robbins is amazing. You know, there's loads of American people who do it so well.
00:21:34
Speaker
But I know some Irish people can find it hard to connect and because it's like it does it's it's not Irish enough. you know Whereas Jerry is so Irish and he's been through it and he just really is very, very clued in, but also really passionate. you know I think he's brilliant.
00:21:49
Speaker
He's amazing. And Miriam as well, which I haven't looked much into, but I've heard she's out of this world altogether. His wife. Yeah. But yeah, I love Jerry Hudson. He talked a lot about Louise Hay spirituality. I'm like, I find myself, I had a chat with Kate before this podcast, kind of about burnout and things like that. But I find as well, I'm turning, I just, since I've had kids as well, very spiritual.
00:22:10
Speaker
Yeah, me too. Really, really defining success. Like that's a big thing, a big big thing. Like the ego is kind of dying away and I'm realizing what true happiness and joy is, you know, and I don't think it is a thing that I think I thought it was. Does that make sense? I, that is exactly where I'm at. And maybe it's because we're like for' a similar similar age, you're probably a bit younger than me, but you know, we're kind of heading, we're heading that direction where it's like, I think, you know, it it does take your twenties to read and probably most of your thirties to really find yourself not that I find yourself sound so cliche but you know really discover who you are what you want out of life I did a massive career change in the past few years I i worked for 15 years as a teacher and this just kind of has happened bit by bit over the past few years and now I'm sitting here and it's funny because Kieran O'Neill will move on from what we were talking about with with all of this now in a minute but ah the most recent session I did with him he said to me he wants me to go to a coffee shop
00:23:07
Speaker
And he wants me to bring my journal, I go to a nice fancy one that I wouldn't usually go to and to sit down and write a letter to that teacher girl from five, 10 years, five years ago, let's say five or six years ago, because I was speaking about how, like, you know, I've worked really hard to, you know, double job does really, you know, to build my business, to make sure I'm as qualified as I can be. And, you know, i've so I've worked really hard. I've got to where I've got to.
00:23:34
Speaker
And you never feel like you you stop and actually appreciate how much you've achieved. And I think this goes for all of us, no matter what our achievements are. you know And we're always so hard on ourselves. We're always looking for more, which will lead into what we're going to talk about now in relation to external validation. you know and I haven't reached a point where I've actually stopped and gone, wow, Kate, look what you've done. and People are say to me, oh my God, that's amazing what you've done. I'm like, i I haven't really thought about it. And you did it with three kids. And I'm like, I haven't thought about it because I'm always doing. And he's like, go, I want you to sit down and I want you to write a letter to that teacher girl who was feeling a little bit lost and just tell her
00:24:18
Speaker
everything's gonna be okay and everything that's going to happen for her. I haven't done it yet, so I'm gonna have to, ah I'm gonna like go somewhere really nice and do that. Yeah, I love that. That's fabulous. Yeah, it's all it's all confidence work, isn't it? It's it's pride in yourself and it that's such momentum.
00:24:34
Speaker
That's such momentum, beautiful. And i like I said, stop and actually just realize what you've done. Exactly. And that's true for all of us, no matter what we're doing. But I do think talking a bit more about like, you know, values and the shifting of like, what's actually really important and that external validation versus internal validation.
00:24:54
Speaker
I've come to realize now and from working as a teacher, I was always just very much in the moment. you know I was raising my kids, I was teaching and you know very happy they're starting this business and then you know learning more and more and you know building more and more. That's when I was really like, wow, external validation can be really, really dangerous because you you never reach there. You you have ah a target or a goal and you you get there and then it's suddenly further away and then it's suddenly further away. and I'm just realizing this because It's not something that I really experienced in my teaching life. But then I had to remember, why did I want to set up this this coaching business and this life for myself was for freedom. And it's amazing how we were talking about burnout before we started and this podcast. I was leading myself to burnout and becoming prisoner in my own by my own rules, on my own high standards, of my own you know building my business.
00:25:49
Speaker
And it was like, what's the point in going from one, one prison to another of your own creation? That was huge. And I think knowing why you want something, i I think having goals is really important. And you know, I work with a lot of clients who want to lose weight, like knowing where you want to go, you need to know where where you want to go.
00:26:09
Speaker
But you also need to know why you want to go there. What does it bring to your life? So there's no point in building and building and building a business that you're not sleeping and you're unhealthy and you're stressed and you're not happy. What's the point? Yeah. And you don't escape that stuff. I don't think as a business owner law will always crop up there and again. 100% that question of why did you start it in the first place. For me, it's always about removing the ego. It's always about removing the self out of it and just leading to serve as much as I can. And I always ask myself that question. If you were in this stone age or whatever and you were never getting paid for this stuff, what would you love doing? What kind of conversations would you love having? And I love that question. It's so powerful.
00:26:50
Speaker
what would you do for free absolutely move for free because a lot of our ladder could be up against the wrong wall or our business might evolve in a certain way that we're like actually no this isn't what I Yeah, it's like I started this way, but I think I need to, yeah, take a take a little V off the road and and head
Fulfillment and Personal Values
00:27:05
Speaker
down a different road. mark Or come back to what I've always done best, you know, or whatever, but you're asking yourself that question of why, why is it so important to me? Like you said, and I think, go back to spirituality, when you focus on money and success and egocentric rewards, you will never be satisfied.
00:27:23
Speaker
ah You'll have it in a moment. I've read a fantastic book. that I'm reading it recently. I've literally just almost mentioned it. It's The Seven Spiritual Laws by bepa choprah walk yeah Deepak Chopra. And one of them is the ego versus living to serve and living to give. And I suppose when you live to give and serve from your heart space,
00:27:42
Speaker
And you take the money out of it, the money will always follow, you know? And I really do believe in that because I've seen myself, you know, getting triggered into the latter as well. Like I've seen myself being part of the big business programs and, okay, this is how many clients, this is how many, you know what I mean? And there's no fulfillment or joy, even when you have that amount of money, your ladder is up against the wrong wall. And that created a burnout for me. And when I rested from the burnout and I could think clearly again, I realized that big time.
00:28:09
Speaker
Well, you talk a little bit about ego, just for because some people might when they listen to this, they hear the word ego, they think of someone who's, you know, obnoxious, or someone who's, you know, overly confident, or, you know, arrogant, but that's not like, that's not what ego is. So would you mind explaining a little bit your understanding of the what like, you know, ego versus true self is?
00:28:29
Speaker
Absolutely. And I'll do it in my own little way if I can. Understanding like that, if, you know, ego is, it's a sense of self that's, so ego doesn't mean big headed or boastfulness or whatever. I can understand how that, that word is associated for sure. Like, yeah, it is in a sense. Like, it's like, if you let your ego.
00:28:48
Speaker
You can leave your ego at the door. it just It basically means how you think about yourself. That is the basic definition of it. And I suppose the ego is formed from various occurrences in your life. Just like we talked about this whole podcast, you know, like growing up, what you saw, what you heard, how you experienced life or whatever. That forms the ego. And the way I see it is you've got your ego, your lens, your way of seeing the world and yourself.
00:29:13
Speaker
And you've got reality, which is just neutral reality, you know? So there's a fantastic podcast, if you don't mind me sharing, which dives a little bit more into this. And it's the blind boy episode. I feel like I should be getting commissioned at this stage or how many times I i recommend this to people. People will be sick of me talking about it, but it's called intro to cognitive psychology par four.
00:29:36
Speaker
You don't have to listen to part one, two, and three, but he talks an awful lot about the ego, thinking from your ego and then thinking about things logically. Does that make sense? So he intro to cognitive psychology, part four. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Part four. It's about an hour and something, but he introduces the ABC method, which is a well-known kind of a psychological tool. It's a CBT tune, but he just contextualizes it and really like, he just kind of explains it in a really like real life way. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, so he he talks a lot about kind of um choosing your belief in a moment instead of letting your ego choose it for you, you know, based on like your way of living. Like if me and you were in a room right now and someone came in and called us a name, say something, okay, you're ugly. One of us is going to take it more sensitively, right? Based on our past. I just find that so fascinating. And when you can live to think logically about situations, which is really a place I want i want my clients to get to will be to look at every situation with a sense of removing the ego.
00:30:34
Speaker
Does that make sense? So like what, what you would think about it and, and looking at it logically and thinking, okay, like for example, a single woman on Tinder, someone doesn't write back to them, make conversation. Okay. Is it it's me or is it that person could have met his dream woman that day? That's kind of how I see ego versus reality is what I call that. It's like ego is how you, your sense of self and the world, but mine is very different to yours case. So we're going to feel differently about certain situations. Whereas if you can teach yourself to be nonjudgmental, to think logically about situations and think of the various reasons for something happening instead of what you think. That's such powerful work.
00:31:11
Speaker
Yeah and I know it is very much life-changing work and I think as well just to add to what you're saying about ego you know while explaining it to people as well is just coming from an education background. Children under the age of seven have very little ego because until the age of seven they're sponges they take in everything they believe exactly what you tell them. It's ah such a wonderful time. I didn't learn about this until my older two really were past that age. I was like, God damn it, I've ruined them. My smallest boy is just seven now and he's just at the end of this stage and I know what happens next. So after the age of seven, children start to build their ego. We all have an ego and ego is really important as well because, and I think quite often we think ego is all bad. It's like ego protects us. Ego helps us to navigate society.
00:31:59
Speaker
So yes, we're taking in a lot from the age of seven, then we, or before the age of seven, we start to build our protective layer to help us, you know, people don't make fun of us so that we feel safe. for Whatever the the thing is, we start to build an ego doesn't always mean confidence. Ego can also be fear. Fear is like one of the worst traits of ego. And so we all have ego and funny, we bring it back to kind of, let's say talking about business. Being a business owner, you really do need to be able to swap from ego to true self.
00:32:28
Speaker
If you don't, if you lose your true self, you'll never be happy as a business owner. But if you lose your ego, you're probably not going to be financially successful as a business owner. You need both because you need your ego to push forward in this world. I would even ask an adult, sorry, not just as a business owner, as an adult, there's a certain amount of ego needed. There's certain, you know, that's where your learned behavior is of how appropriate it is to behave at work and, you know, how appropriate it is to behave in different social situations.
00:32:55
Speaker
every decision we make but we need to spend time with our true self and this is where meditation comes in or you know and loads of different types of practices just going for a walk getting exercise
Ego and Emotional Awareness
00:33:04
Speaker
whatever it is time by yourself journaling whatever where you are just stripping it all back and you're just being you if you don't practice time there I believe that we it's very easy for us to lose it because we become reactionary rather than responding. That that was a lovely little explanation of it that side of things as well because it's not bad. No, God, it's not all bad. but Like you said, there's a lot of fear there and fear-based decisions and and and things like that. Yeah.
00:33:27
Speaker
A lot of us go through like reacting. Like you said, someone comes in and calls you ugly and if that really triggers you, there's no point of being mad at that person. Although it might have been rude. It's like, why did that trigger in me? Why do I care that this person called me ugly? And I know Brian Keene always uses this analogy. It's like, what if you came in and called you a purple polar bear? You're going to be like, sorry, what? Like that's not going to, that's not going to trigger you because you don't have any emotional attachment to that.
00:33:53
Speaker
So it is anything that triggers you. And that doesn't mean that the person who's saying something to hurt you isn't wrong. But if you're letting it in on you so much, then there's something in you that you need to need to go back and work on.
00:34:08
Speaker
um just that' taking responsibility, isn't it? Again, that's an ultimate, that's I think one of those seven spiritual laws is like, is taking responsibility for everything. Yeah, for sure. And as well, like, when life is so busy, and we're so stressed, we're always reacting to things. It's always like, oh,
00:34:23
Speaker
You know, and I felt this way before I stopped teaching. I was like, I remember saying it to my mom. I was like, I just feel like I'm being dragged around by my own life. I was just like, just had no, it was just like one thing after another, two small kids and it's been dragged left, right, center, you know, job the whole lot. And I just felt. so ah and another day of this. Like it was just, you know, no, no kind of joy and get up and go. It was just like, oh, yeah, if I don't even have time to think straight. You know what I mean? And I know a lot of people listening will relate to that. And it's amazing then what it was, it was when COVID hit and I actually had time to stop and think. And it was like, no,
00:35:01
Speaker
I'm going to respond. How do I actually want to respond? Rather than how do I think I should respond? Or what are other people expecting of me? I was like, I don't care anymore. i Not that I don't care about other people, but I don't care people's opinions for what I know is right for me. That was a real game changer, responding rather than reacting. Absolutely. I love that. It's not a destination, isn't it not? It's very much, you know, we need to practice this kind of awareness on a regular basis.
00:35:31
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah. Life is that there's no destination. There's no, you know, I worked with a lot of entrepreneurs before I was like, there is no happy ending, you know, more and money, more problems. That's just in a business context, but in any, and in a, in a world context, you know, God, if I could just really reinstate it into all of us, it is just the little moments. It's the relationships. It's the joy. It's the pockets of joy. It's having fun.
00:35:56
Speaker
and Jerry Hosey actually says, you know, the what the the biggest tragedy in life, I'll never forget that real plan to live it, but we never actually lived it. That just makes me think there's rat waste we're in. and chasing, you know, the, the hedonic treadmill, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So living more presently. And I think like, you know, people kind of shun the word or shun, but like meditation, breathwork, things like that. They are such incredible practices for bringing you back to the present moment. They're, they're such incredible practices, just quietening the mind, letting the universal downloads in. And there's so many different ways to
Mindfulness and Daily Routines
00:36:31
Speaker
do that as well. I think, you know, when some people listening can be like, Oh God, at the thing of nothing worse than sitting there and doing a meditation.
00:36:38
Speaker
like go for a walk without headphones on. Yes. I've stopped with bringing my phone to a lot of walks, you know. I have a rule yeah when I'm walking. I will, sometimes if I'm somewhere nice, I will take a photo on my phone. You knowlthough you can press the camera button, but you don't actually go into your phone. I'll take a photo that I might post on my stories after I'm back from my walk, but I will not open my phone on my walk. And I won't answer the phone either. If someone rings me, unless like, you know, if it's a family member, they ring more than once. I'm like, maybe be a better answer. But in general, it's me time. And I find it actually easier to be
00:37:09
Speaker
in the present moment when I'm moving. And so I think that's important as well for for people to realize just because if you've tried meditation and it doesn't work for you, there's so many different things. Or I used to get up in the morning, I used to try to do a little bit of breath work and I'd read a little message. and But then I actually realized it was like a forced routine. I was morning routine, I was putting in place. And it would it was coming from the ego. it was It wasn't my true self. It was like, that's not me. Whereas now I know that when I get up in the morning, I get a glass of water, I come in, I open up my laptop and that's fine.
00:37:39
Speaker
And I just, I don't go on my phone until I've done my few little creative bits that I get done in the morning. And then I go and make my coffee and I sit and I kind of catch up with messages with my coffee before I start my day. And then I feel organized. I feel calm and I feel happy where some people will be like, oh, you shouldn't be working at that hour of the morning or you shouldn't turn on your phone before 9 a.m. or, you know, these different things. I'm like, that works for me because I have a house full of children to get out the door. And by the time I get back to my desk, if I haven't done that, I'm stressed.
00:38:07
Speaker
And that works for me. And I think it's really important to find what works for you as well, isn't it? Oh, no, that's, I think that's such a great point to make a hundred percent because yeah, a lot of that masculine energy is shunned. Like, but at the same time, it was built your business, you know, like you need a healthy You know, you need a healthy amount of action taking, especially when you're, when you've kids, you know what I mean? You have to, oh, you have to adapt. Like in Dubai, I had this beautiful one hour morning routine and fairness, I did. Here, that's not the case anymore with, with Haley. You know, I just don't have that. Like my morning routine has changed too. Like mine is just saying off the phone for the first like 45 minutes, but for you, you like to romanticize that time in the morning, get your shit done. And then like, you will have your moments of calm maybe during the day, or maybe you'll do your little bit of during or whatever, you know what I mean? And yeah, I've like let go of like,
00:38:51
Speaker
the timing of everything. I just said, Sarah, you just bring in a bit of stillness to your life. As much as you can during the day, do your journaling, even if it's like, you know, lunchtime, because I do love journaling, like I love gratitude journaling. So for me, that just like lifts any bit of fear or upset I have during a day or anxiety. It's it's the gratitude journaling.
00:39:10
Speaker
And we need to stop putting ourselves under pressure. And as mothers, we need, you know, especially in most mothers that I work with, also a full-time jobs as well. It's like finding where it fits in your life. I started gratitude journaling years ago and I used to try think I had to do it first. All right, no, I bought, you know, the beautiful gratitude journal and the head plant.
00:39:26
Speaker
Yes, the other way, there's something to do in the morning and something to do in the evening. It's a beautiful journal, but it used to stress me out because I would try and be grateful first thing in the morning. And I'm not, I know I sound like absolutely wonderful at this hour of the morning right now, but I'm not really a morning person on a regular basis. You know what I mean? I'm not great with talking to other people first thing but i'm also not great at feeling grateful in the morning i'm just a little bit grumpy and i'm like i can't think of anything i'm grateful for right now that's literally how i'd feel some morning so it was like forced gratitude i'm like i'm grateful that i've woken up this morning i'm grateful for that it just i wasn't feeling it you know and i think you need the feeling behind the gratitude whereas i find
00:40:05
Speaker
If I journal at the end of my day, I will reflect on my day and be grateful for my day after I've had it. And that works for me. That doesn't mean that I go into a day feeling negative or feeling- No, of course not. You know, and I find the best way for me to start my day is slowly.
00:40:23
Speaker
If I start my day rushed or forcing things, it gets me off on the wrong vibe, if that makes sense. Whereas if I just take my time and do tick off my few little things, have my little coffee, my little bit of a alone time, I'm ready to go. And then I like to reflect and unwind in the evening.
00:40:39
Speaker
So I think, you know, I think that's a challenge for people listening to find where in your day works for you. But also I love what you said there about the morning because to be fair, the morning time will create quite an imprint for the rest of your day, like research and all the rest of it. So like how you do spend.
00:40:54
Speaker
Your morning really creates, like I said, the flow of events or the domino effect of your day ahead. So like you said, just, just waking up slowly. And whereas if you wake up your stress, your answers, you hit your toe off the bed, you're trying to find your clothes, get out the door. Your whole day will feel a little bit chaotic and stress. I think as well, one thing that I'm really keen on implementing now more so, cause I was always about the mindful morning, but being on your phone in bed at night. Oh my God. Yeah.
00:41:21
Speaker
chaos in the brain the whole next day. like I just think it's the worst and it's so hard. i know it's a lot It's very hard for people. But it is literally, if you're on your phone scrolling in bed, you are letting the whole world into your bedroom and your bedroom is supposed to be a safe place. It's supposed to be where you feel safe, where you get to switch off from the world.
00:41:42
Speaker
So like my hack for this, I'm saying that it slips and it has slipped lately. I put my phone over the other side of the bedroom. My alarm is set for the morning. So it's also a great tool to get my ass out of bed in the morning because I have to get up to turn off the alarm. Exactly. That's what I do. Yeah, that's what I do across the way. Because once I'm open up, I'm up. Whereas if I'm in bed, I could press news in my sleep and I'm like, oh my God. Like I find myself, when I put my phone over the other side of the room, I will still reach for it before I go to bed.
00:42:09
Speaker
Like, to to check it, and I'm like, oh, it's over there. Oh, Grant, okay, I'm not getting up to it. You know, and it's terrible that we are in this world where we have to physically separate ourselves from our phones. Or even, you know, if you wanted that, bring it into your room at all and get an alarm clock, go old school. Yeah. Well, 100%, I always face my clients on flight mode, other side of the room, charge it or whatever, and even leave it outside the door, because there's some studies there, but like, you know, the close to that technology is kind of near you, the worst it is for your head and, I don't know, brain. And, you know, it's true though, like, isn't it?
00:42:38
Speaker
I suppose nobody really sleeps through their pillow with their phone under underneath their pillow anymore, but like I've really stopped that having it really close to me at night. I have this thing about just get it as far away from me as possible because I don't know. But yeah, that like flight mode, giving yourself a little half an hour kind of wind down before you go to sleep because you will be up for the night. I will be anyway. Do you ever find that if you're, if you're smoking and you've had a really hard sleep? So much easier.
00:42:59
Speaker
If I just read a book and sometimes like I'm not, I'm not a great reader to be fair. I could get a page in and then I'm like, Oh no, it's time to go to sleep now. But that just shows how much you need to sleep then, you know? Oh yeah. Yeah. Whatever it is, my books, I'm the same two or three pages and I'm gone. Yeah. And if you run your, if you're a scroll on Instagram or TikTok, you'd be there an hour later, or even if you weren't, even if you did limit it to 10, 20 minutes, you'll find it harder to
Social Media and Mental Health
00:43:23
Speaker
sleep afterwards.
00:43:23
Speaker
telling actually because they i have you because you do post quite a lot and I admire you for that. How do you manage that? I know you probably schedule everything and all the rest, but how do you manage that relationship with social media? yeah I don't consume a whole lot of social media. and People find that quite surprising. I have someone who edits my content now. So for a long time, there was a lot of time spent on the phone, whereas now it's, we film once a week and then it goes off to be edited. And then I have one video every evening so I kind of when I'm cooking the dinner that's when I do it. I'll post and I find a lot of my social media I don't scroll a whole lot because I do try and read and I do try because i've I've worked so hard as well I do try and be present with my kids a little bit more and sometimes I'm just sick of screens by the time the evening come but what I find I do that's gonna sound so self-centered. I'm still addicted to it I'm not addicted to scrolling
00:44:14
Speaker
I'm addicted to checking notifications. So I'll go check and be like, you know, who's commented, who's liked that post. So although I don't go into a whole lot of comments, and anyone who's listening who's ever commented or posted that I did reply to, I don't go into them because I don't want to get sucked into the negativity of negative comments.
00:44:31
Speaker
either. Not that I can't take criticism like, you know, I would very much want feedback. I know the people that are important to me will tell me if I'm putting something out there that's not good or that's, you know, that's insulting people or that, you know, isn't ah aligned with me. I know the people around me would say, Kate, what the hell was that? So I don't need strangers, particularly men for some reason that that feel the need to come in and it's more it's interesting I find Facebook in much more a negative place than Instagram and my Facebook comments and I know anyone who puts stuff out in social media are exposing themselves to online abuse but you know there can be some very negative comments not even about what I'm talking about it can be about my appearance
00:45:12
Speaker
and ah about my intelligence and unfortunately it is a reality of what you know and i'm very aware i think because i'm 38 i'm like you know i know myself i know who's important i know what's important what i'm putting out there is true to me so i will stand by it i'm happy with what with the information i'm trying to help people so the negative comments that go in there i i i don't let it into my self-worth but i also don't actively go into my comments because ah I don't want to let it in and so for that reason then if people say to me but then what about all the good comments I'm like if anyone messages me I will reply to them if I have received it sometimes you know sometimes you'll miss things and like you know if if I've never responded to someone I like I do apologize I do really try with my messages I'm like if someone's taken the the the time to to message me I will message them back but the comments I just
00:46:06
Speaker
positive or negative. In general, I don't go into them. ah Sometimes a bit more on Instagram, but not, but not on Facebook. But so with social media, like, so ah all of that is quite exhausting. Because when you're putting things out, and you, you know, you're getting a lot of notifications back. It's the dopamine hit. Do you ever, I have all my Instagram notifications are off, so I don't get any until I go into the app.
00:46:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Me too. I have no, I have no notifications on anything. And because yeah, it's the red button, I will find myself like going into my apps. Like it's like a routine I have. I'll go into all my apps. You know, I'll go to email, go to Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. I'll go to my Stripe. I'll go into, you know, like different things that I'll tick tick, tick, tick, tick. You know, it's like a little routine of checking things. And that's what I find I do more so than scrolling. I was actually talking to someone about this yesterday.
00:46:51
Speaker
I don't tend to keep up and I then I sometimes I'm like, Oh God, I'm really self centered. But one of my friends would be like, Oh, did you see so and so, you know, yeah and I'm like, No, I didn't see Oh my God, because I don't actually even though of obviously I have social media, I follow my friends, I follow people that I'm interested in.
00:47:08
Speaker
I don't actually follow, like I don't look at stories. I don't really scroll on Instagram or Facebook too much. And so I don't know how a lot of what's going on. What I do sometimes is go on TikTok. I like the For You page on TikTok because it's not full of people that you know. So it's kind of like a little break from reality. So like, it'll show you more videos as my TikTok feed is always filled with like, you know,
00:47:29
Speaker
self-development and mindset and spirituality and like you know there's all all of that stuff which is lovely and the P Diddy case. It's like Abraham Hicks and then it's like you know diving into this dark hole of everything that's going on in the P Diddy case and I'm like oh my god you know so it's so like it's so funny but that that kind of doom scrolling does you know you do need to learn how to like pull yourself away from it a little bit.
00:47:51
Speaker
Yeah. No, I'm the same with you. I try to create more than consume. And I think that's a good way to live for everyone. I say to my clients, like next time you find yourself going in about to scroll, i I'll say, go and message a friend, go and check someone. It's a nice little pattern, break isn't it? To try and actually have some real real connection with people. I think it's so important. And I think as well, if you are someone who's creating content, no matter how big or small your business is, I think if you're scrolling too much, you're comparing.
00:48:19
Speaker
And if you're comparing, you're losing your true self, you're going into ego. So in order, so like, I am like literally for the life of me, you know, trying to grow a business, trying to run a business, trying to help people try to create content. So like, I'm coming in and out of that ego back to true self. So like, I'm for like, my, like my life depends on it. I am trying to protect my true self. And that's how I do it by not consuming too much social media, because then other people get in on me. And I remember growing up always thinking that other people were better than me, which is interesting. We all have those insecurities, but of course the social media feed is going to is going to really trigger because it's everyone's highlights as we know. But what do you say that about um real connection? i'm I'm really fascinated with loneliness at the minute. It's really up there. People are really lonely. name People are really starved of like in-depth connection. And I actually think social media makes that worse.
00:49:15
Speaker
How do you navigate that being like so prominently online? like Is human connection like in person? Is that really important to you? I just think there's nothing like it. That's something that really suffered for me for a while as i kind of it was so all consuming. I was job sharing as teacher for a while, working on the gym on the side, building my online business as well at the same time. So there was a lot of all consuming work.
00:49:36
Speaker
and anything that was left went to like my husband and kids and my parents, my sister as much as as possible as well and you know I lost a little bit of connection with friends for quite a while and I'm actually only really reconnecting well with my relationships in the past few months. It makes a huge difference because I got to the stage where I really was quite burnt out. I was like I really need to reconnect with people again but interestingly enough as well ah apart from connecting with my friends, you know, and like going meeting someone for a coffee and a walk, you know, going out for dinner with friends or whatever, like, you know, whatever it is. But for me as well, my favorite part of my whole business is this podcast, I get to connect with people, I get to have like actual meaningful conversations with people.
00:50:21
Speaker
And I love connecting with clients too. I learn a lot from it, but it's just a really nice way to just have conversations with people and connect with people as well. And that's what I try and do within my coaching service is, you know, we've built a community, you know, we've got yeah people that kind of were like, oh, Jesus, not another WhatsApp group, but our WhatsApp group's amazing. And like, you know, it's just groups, of a group of women helping each other, like, you know, cheering each other along. Although it's online, it's still important, I think.
00:50:50
Speaker
Yeah. I just think as much as we can, I think, you know, to leverage or impress some relationships for everyone. I think even if it's your mom, like go and see your mom, copy you know, just like little things like
Real-life Connections vs. Online Interactions
00:51:00
Speaker
that. I think like you, I feel like the isolation of working online really got to me this year as well. Actually earlier this year, even though I'd be we're very good for meeting people for coffees and and very social in general, but I feel like working online, it can bring about those feelings even more. So it's super important for us to, you know, because obviously we don't have a physical staff room.
00:51:20
Speaker
Yeah. I think it is super important for us to have that alongside working on life. And a lot of people that are working from home still from COVID, which suits and which suits them. And I love that we have this flexibility in life now as we're raising our kids and building our careers that, you know, that people get a chance to work from home or have a hybrid approach to it. But it is, I think, really important to to remember to to not neglect ourselves as well, our relationships. It's okay to realize, you know, if you're going through stressful times, you know, sometimes relationships do take a backseat a little bit, but it's never too late. You can always reach out to that person and like chances are if you miss them, they probably miss you too. And quite often if you've disconnected a bit with a friend.
00:51:58
Speaker
it's It's probably not just all you. They're probably busy with their kids or their career and it's a bit of you both being busy. So if one of you reaches out, suddenly it's like, okay, you're just bringing a a little bit closer back together. And I think, you know, as you get older, your relationships with your friends change. You're not out every weekend. You're not seeing each other every week. You're not talking all the time, but like I have some really good friends that I've been friends with since school. We see each other like three times a year.
00:52:23
Speaker
but we have a really nice time three times a year and we do a huge catch up and it's lovely. yeah you need us You need it, don't you? But yeah, the importance of human connection is something I'm really dreading and that leads to everyone. I think if there's a statistically, there's a lot of friends, lots of friends, do you hear me? There's a lot of people who are feeling just like that they're they're kind of being starved of actual deeper connection, you know what I mean? So just make sure that you're putting that area of your life first as well and not, you know, because social media can make you feel lonelier, I think.
00:52:51
Speaker
I think so too. And I think we need to learn to use it in a way to benefit our lives and not that we miss our lives. Yes. Bringing in a pocket of joy, more pockets of joy, getting out of that race. Cause I think we're always getting busier and busier and and stressed out of our were massive. Just for me, it's like every week I say, right, I'm off the Saturday. day Who can I meet for a coffee? Who can I go for dinner with? Who can I, you know what I mean? Because that's so important to me as a person. I just love a good conversation.
00:53:21
Speaker
Yeah. And if you think about a memory, ah like a good memory, chances are you probably don't remember what car you drove. You don't remember what you wore to that occasion. You probably don't even remember what food you ate, but you remember the laugh that you had with the person or you might remember a conversation or you remember, you might remember much about the whole time at all, but you remember how you felt.
00:53:42
Speaker
And that's really, really important. And I think as well, it's really important to remember with your interactions with people, people remember how you make them feel. No one gives a shit what size you are, what car you drive, what you're wearing, you know what I mean? It's like people care, people who care about you care about how you make them feel and vice versa. You care, ah your memories are filled with, filled with feelings. And that's what's most important. That's such a good point, actually. It's so true. you You don't remember the specifics, but you remember the people. Yeah, for sure.
00:54:10
Speaker
If people would like to reach out to you, find out a little bit more about your best self-training approach, but of where's the best place to reach you and find out a little bit more? Just Instagram, lads. I'm a one-woman show on and Instagram, really. um I don't have any other path for it, but that's where you'll find me. SarahWolf.mindset. So I will have a waiting list now for after maternity. So I'm going on maternity in March up until I would say end of September and like people can always reach out just kind of find out a little bit more about it But yeah, I just wrote at the moment. I'm just running one. I just run one in-depth program I've been running it since 2021 called best self trading and that's it's like a whole program that they do with me and spy weekly calls
Conclusion and Best Self Training Program
00:54:51
Speaker
It's amazing. So yeah, they're looking for any information or that of course they can they can reach out but
00:54:55
Speaker
I'm hoping to put a good few freebies up in my link tree as well while I'm on maternity, like the webinars I've done and like free resources and people can use and just get, I'm going to try and give as much as I can as well over the next few months. Okay, last question before we finish. What does the word help mean to you?
00:55:14
Speaker
Right, okay, health, okay. Oh, that's so interesting. It's a tough one, isn't it it? Everyone's always thrown, they're like, oh, I need a minute. I'm going to use it in the in in the context of, at the moment in my life, health really does mean being present. Health really does mean good sleep, basics.
00:55:37
Speaker
Just enjoying life a little bit more instead of being on that treadmill. And I know that's not really health as such because you think of the the food and the nutrition, and and which is also so important. It is health. Yeah, no yeah absolutely. And i loved I love to hear the different perspectives from different people. I asked this question to everyone and it's so fascinating to hear the different perspectives and it's whatever comes out first. You're so right. That presence is so important. So important. Yeah.
00:56:04
Speaker
Health just means like like as less stress as possible, as much inner peace as possible. That's a big thing. And just like, like you said, removing all those, the the fear and the stress and just being, instead of doing sometimes, I think that for me, that is when I'm at my prime. And that's when everything else in my life goes well as well, is when I'm in den mode. So yeah, I would say just, pray even like presently eating your breakfast. Yeah.
00:56:27
Speaker
presently doing all those things, getting good sleep, definitely because sleep for me is like, I know we probably do a whole lot of podcasts now, but sleep, like I just feel feel like when you don't sleep well, it alters your reality. I feel like it was a really interesting conversation. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Sarah. This has been absolutely amazing. Thank you.
00:56:49
Speaker
I just want to say thank you so much for listening to the podcast. It really means so much to me that there are people out there actually listening to what I have to say and to the conversations that I'm having with others. So thank you so much. If you are enjoying the podcast, could you please make sure that you are subscribed? And if not, if you could hit that subscribe button, it really does make that much of a difference. Also, if you would like to leave a review on any of the episodes that you listen to that you particularly enjoy, I would love to hear what you have to say.
00:57:17
Speaker
And also, if there's an episode that you've enjoyed, please do share it on your social media, in your WhatsApp groups, with your friends. If you're sharing it on your stories, please tag myself in it and whoever I'm interviewing, this it would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you're interested in working with me and my wonderful team, please do you contact me about applying for coaching. So you can contact me at Kate Hamilton health at gmail dot.com.
00:57:43
Speaker
or on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, all Kate Hamilton Health and you will be able to apply for coaching. We can organise to have a chat and see if it's a good fit for you and get you moving towards your goals.