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EP 36: Olivia Ivey-Davis of Skinnyhangover Joins the Chat
2.5k Plays2 years ago
In today’s episode, Whitney sits down to chat with Olivia Ivey-Davis, the woman behind SkinnyHangover and Mini Musts. Olivia discuses how she started sharing her life online and how it has evolved over the years. She talks all things “mom life” including body image after babies, how to make healthier lifestyle decisions, and letting go of the idea of balancing it all.
She is a friend of the pod for good reason, she is a mom who above all keeps it real.
Follow Olivia: @skinnyhangover @minimusts
Join the official Mom Group Chat Facebook group: Mom Group Chat | Facebook
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
Instagram: @momgroupchat
TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Collaboration
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up moms? This is Whitney and I'm here with my friend Olivia with Skinny Hangover and Minnie Mus and this is the mom group chat podcast. Hi. Hi. Oh my gosh. Hi. I can't believe we're doing this. It's so weird because everyone
00:00:31
Speaker
For context, Olivia and I know each other, but we've never been on a date like this before, so. And it's Valentine's Day. Oh, great. I love it, though. We're on our date. I'm really excited to be talking to her. This was someone that everyone was begging us to record with. People are loving you, so happy to bring you on.
Unexpected Fame and Audience Growth
00:00:54
Speaker
And I have such a funny little story I've been wanting to tell you, so I was
00:00:58
Speaker
at a wedding recently and I was sitting next to a friend from college and I was really just like, what's up, what's up? And she was acting so funny. And she was like, I feel like I'm sitting next to a celebrity because you know, skinny hangover.
00:01:15
Speaker
And I was like, first of all, don't ever act like that around me again. And second, I was like, really? She goes, I've been following her forever. I just cannot believe that you know her. And I was like, honestly, she is so, so nice and in real life. And she was just like, that's so good to hear. She always responds to my DMs. But I was like, wow, I'm all the way in California and people are talking about you. It's so funny.
00:01:45
Speaker
That's crazy to hear. And it's so funny because I'm like, I feel like you're a celebrity because I listen to your podcast every single week. And so whenever we were thrown together in the same like mom chat, I was just starstruck too. So that's so funny to hear. And yeah, I feel like I get those stories sometimes from people where like we have a mutual friend or somebody knows somebody who knows me and
00:02:08
Speaker
It feels weird because in the grand scheme, I don't really have like, you know, millions of followers. And so I'm like, how does this person in California know me?
00:02:16
Speaker
I guess it's just the power of Instagram. I mean, that is so funny. And I don't feel that way at all. Like I'm just a normal person. So when people are like, I listen, you know, when you're talking on a podcast, you're just talking one-on-one. So you kind of forget that people are out there listening. So yeah.
Career Transition to Full-Time Content Creator
00:02:36
Speaker
And we get thousands of downloads every week and Candice and I are always like, huh, it's kind of weird.
00:02:41
Speaker
Yeah, I know whenever I actually look at my data on Instagram, I'm like, Oh, these are actual real people. And I always tell my friends who are also content creators, like, imagine a football stadium filled with the amount of followers that you have, but usually say it in the context of like, you know, making sure that we're not spiraling about not having enough followers, because I'm like, you know, hey, 30,000 people is crazy. And you know, now I'm close to 100,000 somehow. And it's just, if I let myself think about it too long, it really freaks my brain out.
00:03:11
Speaker
I mean, it's insane when you say filling a stadium. Yeah, it's like such a, I'm such a visual person. And so sometimes like I used to do this a lot whenever I would like really beat myself up about, you know, not growing the way I wanted to or whatever, which I have luckily moved past that mindset. But in the beginning, I would, you know, just Google like, okay, what does 5,000 people look like? And you know, even if I'm connecting with just one of them, that's
00:03:35
Speaker
That's the goal. But yeah, now that that number is growing. It's it's pretty crazy. I'm shook the way you just like blew my mind. Yeah. So tell me about yourself, maybe more of like a surface level and then we can get into some nitty gritty. Sure. Okay. So my name is Olivia. I am a mom of two, which is still crazy to say. I have been married for five years. My husband and I have been together for, gosh, almost 13. Now his name's Ian.
00:04:03
Speaker
Um, we started dating like freshman year of college and basically been inseparable since I live in Austin, Texas. We just moved to like the suburbs, um, very family friendly community that we're in now. I have a degree in advertising, but I actually left my corporate role that I had been in for about eight years earlier last year. Um, so it's been coming up on a year now of.
00:04:28
Speaker
working for myself. And I created a online platform called Skinny Hangover over five years ago to just connect with other women. At the time, obviously I was not a mom. I was just kind of a lost girl in her twenties hoping to lose some weight, to be honest. Were we all? Literally. You know, it's a tale as old as time. I was laying in bed feeling fluffy and hungover and I created an account and
00:04:56
Speaker
the rest is history. But I, you know, obviously have since evolved my account from strictly like dieting to a lot more just wellness and lifestyle and bringing in the motherhood aspect. And really, I just share kind of my whole life online, you know, or so it may seem to some and I think as I have become a mom, I've really found my passion in talking to other moms. Yeah.
00:05:19
Speaker
This stuff is hard. And if we can connect to other people while we're doing it, even though we may not know each other, like in real life, I think it's, it makes it a lot easier. And you know, our mom group chat is another testament to that. So yeah,
Origin and Evolution of 'Skinny Hangover'
00:05:34
Speaker
we have a golden retriever and live in the life here in Texas. It's so funny you say that because it's like, you're so into
00:05:43
Speaker
other things other than your children, right? And then you become a mom and it is like my biggest passion project. And this is why the podcast became a thing. And so anyway, it was funny, I was talking to my mom about your handle and she was like, what does that mean? And it's on your website, how you came up with it.
00:06:03
Speaker
So yeah, I believe it was this way. So it's so funny to say that. I know. And it's always on my mind of like, should I change it? Should I not? I don't know because it's evolved so much. So we'll see what the year holds.
Personal Life and Marriage
00:06:16
Speaker
I forgot you had mentioned that. Okay, so let's get more into your family life. Like, how did you meet your husband? And like, what does he do for a living? Yeah, so we met at Texas State University, which is where we both went, we were
00:06:33
Speaker
freshman and the freshman year at the time and we had met at like a fraternity sorority baseball watching parties. Yeah. And my girlfriend introduced me to him. And it turned out that we went to rival high schools from the same hometown and I had just never met him. So we connected on that level. And we were just friends for a few months because I had a boyfriend back home, which quickly ended once I got to know Ian better. And we started dating
00:07:04
Speaker
pretty much at the beginning of the next year and have been inseparable since so he's he's my best friend and you know obviously we are both under the same roof 24 seven he works from home in insurance um so we when we moved he was able to get an office but we since covid basically he's been like working from home you know at the kitchen table or whatever so we are all up in each other's business all day long which
00:07:29
Speaker
can be intense sometimes, but overall I wouldn't have it any other way, especially now that we have the babies. I'm like jealous in some ways. And then I remember when my husband was home for COVID and I was like, you're in my space. Yeah, we have definitely had to navigate that and figure out when the best times to actually chat are versus me just barging into his office while he's on a call or whatever.
00:07:56
Speaker
That's so true. I would totally do that. I'd be like, Hey, I'm here. Yeah. I'm like, hi, what should we have for lunch? And he's like, I'm working. Yeah, literally.
Business Growth and Content Adaptation
00:08:04
Speaker
I feel like our lives are kind of parallel because I met my husband sophomore year, but I was dating someone else all a freshman year. It's like so funny that you say that we've been together forever too. So I love it. Are you from Austin? I'm from the Dallas area. I've kind of looked all over. I moved around when I was a kid.
00:08:26
Speaker
because of my dad's job. And then we came back to Dallas for high school. And then since I went to college in San Marcos, which is like 30 minutes away from Austin, I've pretty much been in this area since then. I've never been. So that's pretty crazy. My mom group chat from my first son, they all visited Austin. That was our first big trip. And they came in July, which I would never recommend to anyone who's never been to Austin because I don't think any of them will come back. It was like 106 degrees every day.
00:08:56
Speaker
Yeah, I need to come maybe in the winter. It's nice now, right? Yeah, it's like 70 and sunny in February right now.
00:09:05
Speaker
And we got snow last, or two nights ago, so freaking weird. Grass is always greener because I'm like, I want snow. I want seasons. That's funny. Okay. So let's get into skinny hangover, like talk about impressive. So I looked up some stuff. It's realistic health, affordable style, and life in between. You have over 90,000 followers, which
00:09:31
Speaker
Your visual just blew my mind. Um, and you also have many must with over 74,000 followers. Um, you're trendy as heck keeping up with the fashion trends all while balancing being a mom of two. So tell us how you started this business journey and where it all began. Definitely. So skinny hangover was my first, you know, handle passion project. I did not start it with the intention of becoming an influencer whatsoever. I just noticed myself.
00:10:01
Speaker
feeling more motivated to eat healthy and work out if I was posting about it, like the classic millennial that I am. Um, so I created this account just really for accountability. I was following a really specific crazy diet in hindsight. And I kind of got a bit of a following from that because there was other women following me that were also on the same diet. And that spiraled out of control. I would say a few years in that diet kind of got canceled, quote unquote, and I had moved away from it anyway.
Motherhood's Influence on Content
00:10:29
Speaker
And so I was,
00:10:30
Speaker
basically sharing my journey to wellness and you know feeling good in my own skin online every single day and I've always been very open and vulnerable and I think I disassociate a little bit from the amount of followers that I have because I just like to be able to share what's on my mind and not really think about what
00:10:49
Speaker
people who are watching are going to think or say or share with their friends. I resonate with that so much. Yeah, I can't let myself look and see if like anyone I actually know is watch my story because then I'll shut down. But I, you know, over the years, I moved a little bit less and less away from like, here's my breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day to sharing more of my personality and what I was wearing and, you know, the the way I was decorating my house and all of the things in my life outside of
00:11:18
Speaker
food and exercise. And that's still the core tenet of my account is how to, how do I become a happy, healthy person while dealing with life? Because I think that's kind of the goal for a lot of women our age. And then, you know, I threw motherhood in the mix and that changed everything. And I think now I get it more than ever that, you know, we have such a small amount of time in the day, no matter what your day looks like, whether you're a mom or not, or, you know, a corporate employee or not. And so it's like, how do we,
00:11:47
Speaker
find little hacks or tips to keep us in a good mood and you know maybe lose some weight if we want to or you know really just love the bodies that we're in especially after we've had kids so that's kind of what I share about day to day but I've really released the parameters of having to be one specific thing
00:12:05
Speaker
And I just share kind of whatever I want, which is great. No, I
Handling Social Media Challenges
00:12:09
Speaker
love it. You're so relatable in so many ways. And I appreciate you sharing your journey on that because I think everyone that's postpartum is struggling, even though you look fabulous. Well, thank you.
00:12:23
Speaker
I'm struggling over here. No, you're not. But no, just to answer the many must part that actually came about about a year ago, because I'm a big Amazon girlie. And I was realizing how much I was ordering on Amazon for my kids and postpartum and you know, all the motherhood things and I wanted to share that. But a lot of my followers on skinny hangover are not a mom or maybe not in that baby phase of life. So I created
00:12:50
Speaker
whole separate account, which, you know, is another a job in itself. So you grew that much in a year? Yes, which is crazy. I, I wish I could replicate it on skinny hangover, but I think it's just the formula of the account being very like product review specific, like I don't really ever show my face and I just keep it purely shopping. I also had a few crazy viral reels, which made no sense to me, but just kind of blew up out of nowhere. I had one with like,
00:13:20
Speaker
a float that got like 16 million views. And I'm like, yeah, it was crazy for months and months and months. It was just people resharing it. And you know, a lot of people were mom shaming me for having him in the pool. So young, blah, blah, blah. But it helped me grow. How do you handle negative comments? It has definitely been a learning curve for me. I used to be so in the weeds with the DMS or comments and I would try to defend myself and I was spending
00:13:49
Speaker
so much mental energy and just time, you know, trying to clarify if I said anything that might hurt some feelings or whatever. And I have in the last few years, I just truly do not have the time. And so if I see something negative, I will most of the time just ignore it,
Impact of 2020 on Personal and Content Growth
00:14:06
Speaker
like leave them on read. If I feel like really strongly about it, I will block them. My block list is pretty long. And then if there's a, I'm like, I went through it the other day and I was like,
00:14:18
Speaker
I don't even remember what some of these people did to me, but I'm like, you don't get access to my life and my kids if you're going to be negative. And then yeah, sometimes if there's like a reel that goes viral and the comments are super negative, I will just turn the comments off, which I appreciate as a feature.
00:14:35
Speaker
That is crazy. I feel like you are mostly positive feedback. And even with mom group chat, we've gotten a few here and there where we were all like, Whoa, like, yeah, I didn't even like think of it that way, or we didn't mean it that way. So you it's especially like talking on a podcast, I'm always second guessing, like, I don't want people to be mad at me, you know, so yeah, it's tough. And, you know, putting yourself out there,
00:15:01
Speaker
a little bit of it comes with the territory. And I have learned a lot too. You know, we went through COVID and, you know, all the political craziness of 2020 online together. And that was probably the most, I guess, backlash I got because I was sharing, you know, my opinions on things. And I have since kind of stopped sharing so much just because that's not really what my page is for or about. So it's just kind of trying to figure out that balance.
00:15:27
Speaker
Yeah, that was a wild time. And I always try and remind people like, I'm not an expert in anything.
Future Goals and Content Strategy
00:15:33
Speaker
Like, right here talking to talk, to be honest. So let's not like come at me with pitchforks here. So what is your motivation or goals for skinny hangover? I know you've made this your full time job. I have. I've been so lucky to have an audience that, you know, not only clicked follow, but they also engage with me and they, you know, shop the things that I'm recommending and
00:15:56
Speaker
that income has helped me leave a corporate role that just didn't feel right anymore. And I you know, I don't know what the future holds. I also created a planner, a wellness and lifestyle planner called the happy and healthy planner, which I won't talk about too much because we are sold out currently, but I got one. Every year, I come out with a new one for the next year. And so that's kind of my
00:16:22
Speaker
I guess side hustle of my side hustle is I'd love to build that business and, you know, make something a little bit more concrete than just being an influencer. But I hate to even say, Oh, I'm just an influencer because it is a full, full job. And there's so much behind the scenes that comes with it that people don't realize. Um, but you know, I, I think I have the skillset that I had in my corporate role if I ever do want to go back to that, but I also could just see myself
00:16:50
Speaker
hanging out online for the next 10 years and being happy with that too.
00:16:54
Speaker
I know. I feel like people see it as such a cool job, but you are constantly working. You're constantly on because the world doesn't stop and people are messaging you in the night, asking for links, everything. It goes above and beyond an office job. Right. So do you follow any kind of cadence? These days I'm going to post about my kids and these days I'm going to post about
00:17:21
Speaker
clothes? Like, do you have to follow a certain formula? Yes, now I do. So when I was in my corporate role, and this was more of a side gig, I literally just did whatever I wanted every single day, if I wanted to post a reel on food, I did if I wanted to do, you know, fashion, and I had the time I did. But now, because I, I like to say I'm like a part time stay at home mom,
00:17:45
Speaker
part-time influencer because on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I have childcare for my kids. And so those are really like my working day. So I have to batch create a lot of content for the upcoming days so that I'm not on my phone 24 seven when I'm with my kids. That's a big, a big boundary that I'm trying to put into place right now because this is all still fresh and new, but on those Monday, Wednesday, Fridays, I will plan out my content for, you know, the next 10, 12 days.
00:18:13
Speaker
So I know, you know, right now what is going to be going live on both of my accounts for the next, for the rest of the month. And I hate to be so prescriptive, but it, it truly wasn't working the other way. So I had to adapt. And I think that's something that I'm having to constantly look at and be like, okay, how, how can I not be on my phone 24 seven?
Self-Care and Personal Interests
00:18:33
Speaker
Because like you said, you could totally just work around the clock if you want to.
00:18:38
Speaker
No, I think you're smart. I mean, you have to strategize in this way or else you're going to poop out basically and not be able to function. So you're a business mogul. This is the right thing to do. The smart thing to do. So we do the same thing. We have to plan ahead. Candace was going on maternity leave. Here we are. You know, so things happen. I have a fun. So what is something you do for self care on a regular basis? It can be like.
00:19:06
Speaker
spa or just your daily makeup routine? What do you do for fun? Well, outside of makeup routine, which I do think is super important for me, even if I'm sitting in the house all day long, if I pass by a mirror at 5pm and I haven't brushed my hair or put on any lip gloss or anything, I just feel so
00:19:27
Speaker
blah, and I know that that's not the case for everybody, but it really helps me feel more awake and productive. If I'm able to, you know, spend five minutes on my face, I have like a five minute face routine down pat. I share about it all the time because it's like, these are the products that I cannot live without to slap on my face and then just feel like a normal human.
00:19:46
Speaker
But I will say outside of that, the self-care thing that I have just started picking back up is reading. I have not read a book in like two years, and I recently picked it back up. That was one of my biggest 2024 resolutions, and it has just changed the game for me. Mentally, I feel like I was, I don't even know what I was doing with my time before.
00:20:09
Speaker
when I was nursing or after the kids would go to bed, it's like, okay, well, here's another four hours that I can work. And it's like, no, I need to be able to shut off. So I'll light some candles, get in the tub, read for an hour. And then I just feel like a different person. What book got you back into reading? You know, it's the fourth wing. Fourth wing is my whole life. It's my whole personality right now. I was such a Harry Potter girl when I grew up.
00:20:36
Speaker
and fourth wing feels like the adult version of that. So now I'm on this like long fantasy romance journey.
00:20:43
Speaker
I mean, it's insane how good that book is. It took over my life there for a little bit. It's my whole for you page. It's all I talk about. I need to chill. I know. I feel like you are reading constantly now. You're like, oh, sorry. I'm not talking. I'm reading in our group. It's so funny. But I get it. I'm reading.
Embracing Motherhood
00:21:06
Speaker
Is it ACOTAR? Is that what everyone's calling it? I guess that's the acronym.
00:21:11
Speaker
Yeah, the first book but I'm still struggling in that one. I'm only on chapter six. So yeah, it's tough to get into for sure.
00:21:22
Speaker
You blew through it. I know you do so much outside of motherhood, but since this is a mom podcast, let's talk about all the baby tings and the mom things. So you're a second time mom. Was it easier the second go around? It was. It was night and day for me. I feel like with Vaughn, my first, who is going to be two next month,
00:21:46
Speaker
Um, he rocked our whole world. I had no clue what to expect. I had never changed a diaper until his birthday. Same person. So funny. No, we're in the hospital. They're like, all right, do you want to change your diaper? And I'm like, ah, can you show me how? Like, I had no clue what I was doing. Um, you know, he wasn't a great nurse or he wasn't a great sleeper. So it was, it was hard and he was a happy baby, but it was just,
00:22:14
Speaker
figuring out all the first time mom things was a challenge for sure. So when Sadie came along, who's almost six months now, she just changed the game. You know, she, it was like, she came into our lives so effortlessly. She's such an easy baby. She's so chill and go with the flow. And I feel so much more confident knowing what I'm doing. So if you are on the fence about having your second or you're pregnant with your second, you're nervous, like,
00:22:44
Speaker
More often than not, I would say, even if your second baby is harder, you know what you're doing this time. So you don't also have to learn how to do everything on top of taking care of a newborn.
00:22:55
Speaker
It's so true. I feel like since Chris was like the nurturer of our family because he went through nursing. He's just like, like that he's very hands on. So he was doing a lot of that stuff up front. Like he was changing the diapers and doing this. And I finally had to be like, Chris, you've got to step away because I'm not confident in what I'm doing. Like you go back to work and I'm going to be like, Oh crap. Like, I don't know how to do anything.
00:23:20
Speaker
So it was like almost like the opposite of a woman in a man should do I was like Chris stop being so good at everything But yeah, it's so true. I feel like
00:23:34
Speaker
I've struggled in both ways, but I think it's like you said, easier the second time around just because you know what you're doing. I knew how to run a schedule this time. Like I wasn't like, Oh crap. Like something's not working. I'd be like, Oh, let's, let's go to the next step of the schedule or for miles on call or whatever. So it's just easier to figure out, I guess. And, and now we're in the fun months. So as I like to say, like, Oh my gosh, their personalities are just,
00:24:02
Speaker
So cute. The best getting them to laugh. I'm obsessed. I know. So how did you imagine motherhood? And is it at all what you expected? Hi, to be completely honest, I just like did not imagine motherhood at all. I didn't think about I was not the girl who grew up thinking, Oh, I can't wait to have babies or be a mom. And it really kind of slapped me in the face whenever I did get pregnant. And
00:24:29
Speaker
how much I enjoyed pregnancy and enjoyed just kind of fully diving into motherhood because I was not that girl. I still don't feel like I'm that girl. Like I love my kids. I don't really love other kids, but I love it. Like I, it kind of shocks me when I take a step back and I realized like how in the trenches I am with it mentally and just how much I'm enjoying it. Not to say that there's not like extremely hard parts, but
00:24:57
Speaker
I've kind of made it my entire personality and I don't regret it because it's what feels good for me. But yeah, I didn't expect anything because I just was so focused on getting married and my job and friends. And then we got pregnant and it was just kind of like, okay, here's this whole new chapter. I don't know what to expect. And it's just been like a very pleasant surprise. You can tell me if I'm out of line, were y'all trying?
00:25:24
Speaker
We were trying. So yes, we, we were, it was like that time, you know, we, because we'd been together for so long and then we had been married, I think two and a half or three years and we're like, okay, maybe we should start like thinking about this because we, you know, as much as I didn't think about motherhood, I did think about like, when I'm 60, I want a table full of my kids, you know, and I want a big family and.
00:25:44
Speaker
my parents both had a lot of siblings and I only have one brother. And so I kind of wanted to, you know, get back to that larger family feeling. So I was like, well, if we're going to do that, this is how we have to do it. We have to start. Yeah. So it felt like the natural
Pregnancy and Family Dynamics
00:25:57
Speaker
right time. Um, and then it did take us about eight and a half, nine months to get pregnant. So then I was like, Oh, shoot, maybe, you know, we have some problems, but luckily, you know, we, we were able to get pregnant and then,
00:26:10
Speaker
Um, for round two, we got pregnant a lot quicker and we were not necessarily trying. Um, so that's hence the, uh, very short age gap. Yeah. How close in age are they? They are 17 months apart. So girl. Yeah. Uh, Graydon and Mario are 23 months. And I was like, that's close enough for me. I know. Yeah. Bond turns to next month and I'm like, okay, then I don't get to say two under two anymore.
00:26:39
Speaker
Yeah, that part is kind of like, dang, but it's 203, so still a lot. I know. Now everyone's like, oh, you can have 303. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're like, can I have a break this time now? Literally, just like one year. Literally. That is so funny. Yeah. Cause you got pregnant within that first year. Yeah. So Von was eight months old when I was pregnant. Oh my God. I would have, I don't know. That'd be like you getting pregnant again in two and a half months.
00:27:09
Speaker
Oh, my God, I would scream. Yeah, it was it was wild. And I don't think I like it really hit me until, you know, I was getting closer to the end. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm about to have another baby while I still very much have a baby. Yeah, I would not be right. I mean, we got pregnant when Graydon was 14 months. So
00:27:29
Speaker
That's a good timeline. Yeah, I mean, it was fine. Like we were in such a groove. Like it felt good. I mean, we were shocked. And I was like, it took me like a like five days to let that settle in. But yeah, it was still like we were in such a good spot with him at that point. Like he's sleeping. He's happy. He's going to daycare, like doing his thing. Like it wasn't as hard as it was in the newborn phase, but
00:27:55
Speaker
I just, wow, that was really lucky. Yeah. And it was on New Year's Day, the morning, the first day of the year. And it was like, bam, you will, everything that you thought this year was going to be is different now.
00:28:08
Speaker
But I mean, I was the same way Chris and I were together seven years before we decided like, well, I guess we should start a family because I was the same way. I never grew up being like, I want to be a mom. I just knew I wanted a family with my best friend. So I don't know. It was just so weird. And then it was like two back to back and I'm like, we're done.
Body Image and Wellness Post-Motherhood
00:28:30
Speaker
Yeah, I know. That's what I'm like, am I crazy for wanting more? But I think I just.
00:28:35
Speaker
I don't know. I have this vision of a ton of babies and, you know, big family. And that is a question that you got a ton of questions from, which we're going to do a rapid fire on another episode. Um, but that is a ton of questions came that were like, how many kids do you want? Because you are such a good mom and inspiration. I'm sure to everyone out there, but okay. How did becoming a mom?
00:29:03
Speaker
change your view on your body and how did you adjust to your body changes? This is probably not what people expect, but I feel like it helped my body image a lot because I was, you know, clearly my handle is skinny hangover. I was struggling for a long time with what my body looked like, just kind of constantly thinking about it, you know, as a lot of women do. And I wouldn't say it was ever, you know, super dire, but it was just kind of always
00:29:31
Speaker
on my mind of like, okay, how do I lose that last five pounds? Or I've got to stay the same size that I was in high school. And, you know, it's just so outdated. And when I became a mom, I really watched my body, you know, birth a nine pound baby and then, you know, shrink back down and
00:29:50
Speaker
create milk for my babies. And it was just this whole other experience of like, Oh my God, this body is so powerful and magical and doing all of these other things that, you know, like men could never. It's just so, it really opened my eyes to like, okay, yes, I don't absolutely love how my lack of abs looks right now. But like, that's there because I just gave birth, you know, six months ago, or, you know, a year ago.
00:30:18
Speaker
And having the rationale of like, my body looks like this because I have these two beautiful humans has really helped me accept it as is while also, you know, of course it's fine to want to update and change things in a healthy way. But I think appreciating how strong I am in this current place versus just only accepting one version of it has really changed.
00:30:45
Speaker
I know I feel like I struggled because I was a certain weight before and I think that's where I looked my best. And since I, it takes me forever to lose weight. I never got back to my pre-body when I had Graydon. And so I was like already ahead with Margo and now I'm just, it's such a struggle for me. And I feel like you are able to show how much effort you're putting into your wellness.
00:31:13
Speaker
I mean, you're doing the damn thing and I'm just over here struggling. It's like, what is your routine? I mean, are you eating healthy all day? Do you give yourself some slack? Like what's going on? Yeah. My main goal, I guess is to just be strong and to, you know, right now I'm exclusively breastfeeding. And so I also have to eat a lot to create enough milk for an almost six month old baby.
00:31:40
Speaker
So that comes with a lot of high proteins. So I'm really focusing on protein and, you know, in the past it'd be like, okay, no carbs and, you know, protein and veggies only. And it's like, I can add carbs in not only because it keeps me full, but I've realized that healthy carbs and things that I want to demonize aren't actually what's making you gain weight. It's like, if I'm going to sit and binge eat Oreos for
00:32:05
Speaker
you know, a week straight that will help that will not help me. So I've been struggling with my postpartum body. Like what do you eat during the day? Are you allowing yourself those cheating moments? Like what are you doing? Yes. So I, I come from a very like restricted food background. And so I really do not count calories or
00:32:27
Speaker
macros currently because I just feel myself kind of slipping back into that mindset. I'm also exclusively breastfeeding, so I do have to eat a lot, but I think my whole outlook on nutrition is just kind of that 80-20 balanced lifestyle, maybe more like 90-10 if I'm wanting to lose weight.
00:32:47
Speaker
Uh, but it's such a delicate balance right now while I'm nursing. So I really just focus on a lot of high protein meals. Like does every meal I have, have a good significant amount of protein because that's really what keeps me full. Um, and then also, you know, fuels a workout if I do have time to do that. But yeah, I am, you know, quote unquote cheating all the time. I'm not going to not have a Girl Scout cookie. I'm not going to, you know, deprive myself of a nice meal.
00:33:12
Speaker
frequently, because it's just like, life's too short. And I think that's the biggest change I've made on my page is like, I used to literally post, like, look at this bread alternative I found or like, you know, eat this gross thing that has no carbs and, you know, pretend like it tastes good. And here's how many calories are in it. And it's just such a toxic mindset. And I'm, I just have so much more going on in my life than focusing specifically on what I'm eating at all times. And
00:33:40
Speaker
It can be tough to try to lose weight when you're also in that mindset. But I think if you are doing the healthy things the majority of the time, those little cheating moments and the things that are bringing you joy aren't actually going to be what is holding you back.
00:33:55
Speaker
I feel like we grew up in such a culture, like the restrictive food diet where, I don't know, growing up in like the early 2000s where everyone has to be so skinny and this and that, it's like so toxic. I am so glad that people are so different nowadays. Like no one cares as much or maybe it seems that way. I don't know, but it seems that way with the younger generations, like fat shaming is like not cool. Like all that stuff. So yeah, it's a, it's a culture shift for sure. And I think that's what,
00:34:25
Speaker
to bring it back to the whole skinny hangover thing, what I have on my website is like, I'm just kind of dealing with the, you know, metaphorical hangover of always trying to be skinny.
Balancing Work, Family, and Childcare
00:34:34
Speaker
Like there is so much more life to be lived and.
00:34:36
Speaker
Skinny is not the end all, be all, or even the goal anymore. I need to be strong to lift my two giant babies. They're so cute. You work from home and you watch your children. Do you ever feel like you're being pulled in multiple directions and how do you freaking balance that?
00:34:58
Speaker
No, never. I've always I would lose my head if it was not screwed on. I am constantly pulled in a million directions. And that's something that I really don't enjoy the feeling of, but I'm actively working to put systems into place so that I feel a little bit more at ease. So I Tuesday, Thursday, I'm solo parenting with both babies. And that's kind of my quote unquote stay home mom.
00:35:26
Speaker
phase. And then I do have childcare on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, which is such a nice balance. And so like I said, I really tried to make those days my work days. And then on the stay-at-home mom days, I try to just focus on the babies. And so that has helped me when I was trying to do everything, I was going so crazy. And so by dropping those work balls on Tuesday, Thursday, and just focusing on the kids, it's helped my mindset a lot. But you know, balance wise, I think
00:35:56
Speaker
If there's a nap happening that's overlapping where both kids are asleep, I will look at my to-do list, whether it be some little work things or laundry or, you know, whatever it may be and kind of prioritize and just pick one thing versus I need to cram five things into the next 30 minutes and then getting pissed if the naps end quickly. And, you know, I don't get to do everything. And so I use this analogy all the time, but the juggling glass balls and dropping the rubber ones, because those won't break.
00:36:25
Speaker
has really helped my mindset. So glass balls being, you know, I have to feed my kids. I have to, you know, make sure that we have X, Y, and Z going on throughout the day, but I don't have to get all the laundry done. And so that's a rubber ball and I'll often drop it and, you know, life moves on and we have laundry piled up everywhere and it's okay. You know, I think it's all about the mindset because if I've learned anything in motherhood, it's that you will never have time to do everything.
00:36:54
Speaker
all the time every day. So you might as well just kind of relax about it and you'll be a happier person. So what made you pull the trigger of finally getting some help? Were you at a breaking point? Yes, for sure. I think I was at a breaking point where I was like, I am not cut out to be a 24 seven stay at home mom, I have too many goals. And you know, I
00:37:21
Speaker
just it's just not for me. And that's okay. I commend the full time stay at home moms more than anyone on the planet they should be getting
00:37:29
Speaker
you know, millions of dollars every year because it is the hardest job ever. And I think I mentally was just not in a good place. Anytime where I've had an extended period, like when we moved, I had about a month and a half where I was, you know, solo every day. And I am also kind of running this social media business, which is a full time job. And so it was just, it was too much and nothing, I was, you know, half-assing parenthood and I was half-assing my work and nothing was getting done well. And it just didn't feel good. So.
00:37:58
Speaker
that coupled with, you know, a toddler needs a lot of entertainment and socializing and I just was not able to give that to my crazy son. So I think starting him in
00:38:10
Speaker
a little nature school nearby has been a game changer for him for, you know, learning to share, he'll come home and, you know, recite colors and numbers and I'm like, I didn't teach you that Miss Rachel does a lot for us parents. I mean, it's crazy how much they learn they're like,
00:38:30
Speaker
whenever we first put Graydon in there, I was like, Oh my God, he is learning so quick. This is something that I would have never been able to give him. I mean, they're in school, so it's crazy. Yeah, I think learning your own abilities and what is going to fill you up versus what is going to make you go crazy is really important. So having that balance of like, you know, two days a week, I am so low with them and I get to experience all those little micro moments is
00:38:58
Speaker
great, but I also love looking forward to the next day when I have some help.
00:39:03
Speaker
Oh, uh, for sure. I was going to say like Graydon for me was so hard. Like he was so inconsistent with naps. And I don't know if that was just like a first time mom thing or if it was a him thing I could, and I don't, I don't want him to listen to this one when he's older and be like, mom, you hate me. But I'm like, I could see why people want to be a stay at home mom because Margo is so regimented and good during the day that I'm like, Oh, I see why people like.
00:39:31
Speaker
want to do this and be at home but like with great and I was like, Oh my god, he'd sleep for 20 minutes and I would want to cry. Yeah, like this is so hard.
00:39:41
Speaker
great and I love you so if you ever hear this. Mommy loves you. You were just so hard and I couldn't figure you out at all but oh my gosh yeah I think going back to work was so important for my mental health and I love my children they're my whole life but you also need the adult time and I love making my own money I
00:40:04
Speaker
Yeah, we have very few people in our lives outside of the childcare that we pay for to help. We don't have a big family village nearby that can just pop over for an hour and watch the kids. It's always a big ordeal if we have family coming in town to hang out.
00:40:25
Speaker
Hiring out childcare has always been something that we knew we were going to have to do. And it's just something that's very important for my mental health. For sure. I'm, I don't blame you. And my, my parents are an hour away, but they come like every other week or maybe once a week, but it's not like I can just drop off the kids.
Practical Mom Hacks and Nutrition Tips
00:40:45
Speaker
So we don't, we don't get a ton of date nights. Um, but we do have help during the day, which is more important to me. So what is your ultimate mom hack?
00:40:56
Speaker
Okay. You sent me this question and I have two very good ones. So the first one I can't take credit for, but I think I saw this maybe on Carrie Loker's page initially putting on your baby carrier before you arrive to the destination. So.
00:41:12
Speaker
Not with the baby in it, obviously, but like, if you are taking your baby somewhere, like grocery shopping, and you know that you're going to put them in the carrier, just taking that extra second to buckle the carrier around you or wrap it around you and then get in the car and drive while they're in their car seat. And then you just put them in right when you arrive, it just takes that extra step out. And that has been a game changer for us, especially on those solo days when I have both kids and I'm wearing Sadie constantly.
00:41:38
Speaker
having the carrier just like ready to go is a game changer. So highly recommend that. As if you are more in your toddler phase, which I think you guys maybe mentioned this on the podcast previously, but toddlers just like do not eat vegetables at all. And so, you know, they're important for health and growth and all that. So I'm constantly trying to sneak them in to Von's food and we give him like organic mac and cheese pretty regularly and he will eat that no problem. So I'm often like,
00:42:09
Speaker
mixing in a pureed vegetable pouch, or I'll cook it in bone broth, something snuck into the mac and cheese. And then I mix it all up and he is none the wiser, but he's getting a lot more nutrition that way. And you know, I do that probably two or three times a week. What pouches are you using? I love the cerebelli brand or serenity kids, they all test for lead in a lot better
00:42:36
Speaker
capacities than some other brands. So those are the two that I typically buy. Um, and if I'm feeling super crazy, I'll puree something myself, but that's like once you bloom it. Couldn't be me. Um, do you buy those at the grocery? I don't know if I've seen those. I do. Yeah. We are in crunchy Austin land. So we have a lot of our, our local store, which is awesome. But you can also buy Cervinity kids, their pouches and their puffs on Amazon.
00:43:06
Speaker
I'm like, I feel like I live in a healthy somewhat suburb, but Nashville does have fried chicken. So who knows? I don't know if I've seen that. Well, we do give fried chicken to our son too. Let's not get crazy. I mean, Graydon loves a chicken nug. You can't deny.
00:43:22
Speaker
So one of my last questions and something we get asked a lot as a group is how do you get out of that roommate phase with your
Relationship Dynamics After Kids
00:43:34
Speaker
husband? I mean, you guys have been best friends for years. You're having kids finally. Did you feel a shift in dynamic? I did. And my answer is probably not the popular one, but I'm like, it's just a season. Like obviously if you are.
00:43:52
Speaker
fighting or you're not feeling taken care of. That's one thing. But if you're just like, Oh no, we're, you know, on our phones too much at the end of the night and we're not, you know, having sexy date nights all the time. Like it will be that way someday. And I always think about those TikToks that you see where you're like, someday you're going to miss this. And I think that my, and our relationship, like love tank you, I hate that. That area is being filled.
00:44:21
Speaker
you know, in other ways, I'm falling in love with him all over again, watching him, you know, take our kids on a walk or play with them. And, you know, just being so thankful that my kids have such a great dad. And even if we're not, you know, playing board games at night or, you know, doing dumb things that people say that they're doing, we're filling it in other ways. And I know that someday we will have time to travel and to go on lots of dates because our kids won't want to hang out with us anymore. So we're just kind of leaning in and
00:44:51
Speaker
I think that that's been healthier for us than just constantly trying to be like, oh God, we haven't had a date night in so long. It just doesn't matter as much to us. Did you feel that way the first time or did you learn that the second time? Definitely accepting it more the second time because finding a sitter for two kids is a lot harder than one. Why does nobody want to watch two? What is that about? They go to bed so early. We didn't think this through.
00:45:20
Speaker
It's become more apparent because that first, you know, I'd say six months to a year, I was, I was that person that, you know, I'm sure is writing into you guys constantly stressing about, you know, not feeling like we're connecting enough or, you know, doing enough based on what I was seeing on social media. And once I took a step back from that and I was like, we're actually like fine and happy, even if our life isn't looking the way people say it's supposed to.
00:45:47
Speaker
It feels good for our marriage and I think a lot of times people just need to kind of assess where their marriage is at and go from there versus.
00:45:56
Speaker
being influenced constantly about what they should be doing. I mean, it's so funny when you said like, your love changed because you're seeing them as a dad, like, Chris and I will joke if we ever got divorced, like, he's gonna be such a catch now that he's a good dad. And I'm gonna be the mom of two. I was like, well, at least you know how to change a diaper. Yeah, that's my that's gonna be on my profile. I can change a diaper when you get old. My man. I know. It's
00:46:24
Speaker
So cool to see this boy that you grew up with, you know, become a dad to your kids. It's just like, it's so crazy. And they look like him. So they really do. They're so freaking cute. And we'll have to post some pics, but I have love, love, love having you on today. And we can't wait to share this with everybody.
00:46:45
Speaker
I know it's so fun. I will come back anytime. I love you guys. Well, thank you again. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat.
Closing and Social Media Reminder
00:46:55
Speaker
New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.