Introduction and New Year's Resolutions
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Speaker
Hey guys, it's 2024 and another bunch of episodes coming your way with the Expat Brad podcast.
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Speaker
This is my first episode into the year.
00:00:11
Speaker
I thought I'd release it around the time about half of us have quit our New Year's resolutions just to celebrate it.
00:00:23
Speaker
One of my resolutions was to do more episodes and so this feels good to get it off on the wrong foot.
00:00:29
Speaker
Right off the bat, we're done with it.
00:00:32
Speaker
What's going on with you guys?
00:00:34
Speaker
What I just said is this actual statistic.
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Speaker
About 20%, so about one-fifth of the people drop out one week into Jan.
00:00:47
Speaker
That's really pathetic.
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Speaker
About one-fifth, you know, so out of 100 people, 20 people, one week in are like, nope, this is terrible.
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Speaker
This was a bad idea.
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And then by the end of Jan, it's actually by the end of Jan that about 43% of the people quit.
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Speaker
So about almost half, right?
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Speaker
And I think these stats, anytime we have to quote these stats, they're research done in the US.
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So I would imagine in Dubai, I kind of sit there and think what it would be.
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Speaker
And then I laughed because I thought, well, this whole New Year's resolution stuff isn't exactly part of...
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Speaker
So about 50% would not have said any.
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Speaker
So you're ahead of the game, you know, in a sense, right?
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Speaker
You don't set these things, you don't quote them.
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Speaker
Maybe, maybe I should get that as a slogan.
00:01:48
Speaker
Don't set, no need to quit.
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Or don't set, don't quit.
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Speaker
Do you think people get it?
00:01:57
Speaker
Yeah, that's the problem here.
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Speaker
So I wouldn't even know how many people, how quickly quit out here, how many people said anything.
ADHD Diagnosis and Management
00:02:09
Speaker
I'm not going to lie.
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Speaker
Most of my... I did something... I've been... I'm not on a minimalist lifestyle thing.
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But last year when I got diagnosed with ADHD, I just kind of... I've been trying to work out what's best.
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Speaker
How do I best operate my brain, right?
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And some of the things, and I think this doesn't necessarily apply to people with ADHD.
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I think this is something most of us can take away and try to practice a little bit more, especially in this day and age, right?
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So I looked at it and I thought, I need to slow down stuff and reduce stuff.
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It just makes, as it is, I'm overwhelmed a bit more than normal.
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And you lack a bit of dopamine, so you're finding more ways to hit it, sometimes in reckless ways.
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And that was very interesting to me as well.
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So to combat that, I was kind of like, what can I reduce and eliminate?
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say no to more often.
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And man, it's been liberating in some sense because like, well, you know, coming back to New Year's resolution, like I was joking about setting them.
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But what I really did, I honestly did was like I reduced the number of things on my list.
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I cut out stuff that I, you know, I've been kind of rolling over for a few years, pretending one day I'll do it.
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And it felt good to just go, you know what, this year, I've just got these two things, just two things.
00:03:43
Speaker
I cut it down to two things because I went, even if I, and within those two things, I reduced the level of achievement I wanted, right?
00:03:56
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So everybody, I don't know if you've ever heard of this thing called Big Hairy Audacious Goals or
00:04:02
Speaker
Whatever, you know, corporate terms, like you try to set a bigger goal.
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Speaker
And I always looked at it and went, how do you, why do you want to constantly grow by 20, 30% if you're making huge profits already?
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I get some of the reasoning behind it, but I also went like, it sounds like you constantly have to grow and expand and do something to it.
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And in some ways it must be bad, not just for the environment and blah, blah, blah, but for you as the company and the people in there.
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So that, you know, I'm doing the opposite of it.
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I just kind of went, what's the point of setting such high goals?
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And maybe again, this is something to do with how my brain operates.
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And I went, what's the point of setting such high goals when I could just, let me set it to something that if I achieve it, great.
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And then I can reset it, even if it's within the year.
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Let's say you set this goal for the year and you say, I'm going to lose weight, right?
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Like we take weight.
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Most of us are in that boat.
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And if God damn, that boat might sink anytime with the way we've been gaining weight.
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I just imagine a bunch of us overweight people on a boat.
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Anyway, every year I kind of go, this is the ideal weight.
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All these figures in medicine and research, blah, blah, blah, tell me.
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And every year I fail to get down to it.
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I wouldn't man screw that.
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Speaker
I'm just going to lose a kilo.
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And I know it sounds like nothing.
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And it's like, why would you set such logos?
00:05:40
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Well, mostly because let me see if I can hit the easy one first.
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Even that is hard already.
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I'm almost a month in and I'm not making a lot of progress towards it.
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And so rightfully, I was like, let's see if we can achieve.
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And so the next thing is, if.
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In the next three months, I achieve it.
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I can reset my yearly goal, right?
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To stay flexible on it.
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Maybe then I might go, okay, this year, then let's raise the bar.
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If I've already hit it, let's go for two, right?
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And that's the way I've kind of like, this isn't some genius talk.
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I'm very aware that some smart people may already have been doing this.
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But I think it's lifted a big burden off my shoulders to just have these unimaginable, unachievable goals.
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Well, you know, I say unachievable, maybe for some people it is.
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Again, like I said, I'm talking from my perspective, from my
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the way my brain functions.
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And so it's really helped me ease up and kind of go, cool, we'll just see how it goes with these smaller goals.
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So that's what I've done.
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I've reduced the number of goals and I've reduced the amount of achievement within that goal, if that makes sense.
00:07:03
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Now, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens, how this year unfolds.
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And I think in some sense, I can trick myself and my brain into being happier about it because if I hit the goals, I'll be more motivated.
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That's my internal conversation going on.
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I'll be more motivated and I'll feel a more sense of achievement instead of going, God damn it, it's another year gone.
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I haven't achieved anything.
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I'll tell you through the year if you're listening to my episodes, the podcast and following it, I'll give you updates on this stuff.
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But like I said, at the very least, it's been really helpful.
00:07:39
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And the other thing I've just done, man, this one's a hard one.
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Speaker
Almost weird that I'm on here recording my podcast.
00:07:47
Speaker
I'm about to say this, but
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I've completely deleted all my social media apps off my phone.
Digital Detox and Social Media Reduction
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Speaker
And it's been, well, I did it on December, on Jan 1st, right?
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Speaker
And it wasn't like a rash thing.
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It'd been something I've been mulling over for like months.
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And I just went, what is the point of it?
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I'm not going to speak out against social media.
00:08:12
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I'm not against social media.
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I think there's a lot of worth in it.
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My own wife, it's worked wonders for her, for her work specifically.
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But at this point right now where I am, I kind of went, it has nothing to do with the work I'm doing for my income and stuff.
00:08:30
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And it's just, it's too much of a distraction and a bad habit for me to use it.
00:08:36
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And the pressure of posting and blah, blah, just right out the window, man, it's been so good.
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And again, like, you know, this is something you got to think about.
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Like, why are you on it?
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And if you've got good reasons, then stay on it.
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Promote yourself on there.
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Do what you got to do.
00:09:00
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But if you really don't have a good thing, then take a break.
00:09:03
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Like I've been feeling so much better in my head, not scrolling, not looking at stuff.
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I I've even cut off news for the time being.
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Speaker
I don't know what's going on around the world right now.
00:09:17
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That's why this episode is so about my internal brain and thoughts and stuff rather than, you know, when I talk about things that are happening.
00:09:26
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I do miss all that stuff.
00:09:27
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I do miss my sports.
00:09:28
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I do miss getting news alerts.
00:09:30
Speaker
I heard this crazy thing about a plane.
00:09:32
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door opening midway through a flight or something that my friends were talking to me about.
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And I was like, wow, that's crazy.
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I had heard nothing about it.
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It was insane that there was no like I've just not been bombarded with stuff.
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And it's been helping me calm down again.
00:09:49
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Again, I bring it back to my own brain and the way it functions and what's best for it.
00:09:54
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And so it's kind of been a bit more relaxing.
00:09:58
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I'm not doing a permanent ban.
00:10:00
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I'm not like I'm going to go off it completely.
00:10:03
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But my intention is at least till end of Feb so I get a couple of months break from it.
00:10:09
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And then even if I go back, maybe there'll be more clarity on what are the things I want out of it.
00:10:15
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Is it a useful tool for me personally?
00:10:17
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And what do I want to do with it?
00:10:20
Speaker
It's awkward because after a few shows...
00:10:23
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I haven't really publicly said this yet to anyone, really.
00:10:26
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I called my Instagram.
00:10:30
Speaker
So, you know, I had about like 11,000 followers or something.
00:10:34
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And I went through it and I went over the years and I went, what's the point of this number?
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Like it's so crazy how social media warps your brain.
00:10:42
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So I went through it and I looked at people who...
00:10:45
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either have friends and family included, like accounts that they haven't used in years or interacted with in years.
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Speaker
So I deleted them off.
00:10:53
Speaker
You can literally take people off from following you.
00:10:57
Speaker
Like you delete them off your followers list, which is kind of, it felt so refreshing to just clean that aspect.
00:11:05
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And so not just the people you're following, but your followers.
00:11:09
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And I deleted those off.
00:11:10
Speaker
Then I deleted any business accounts of people that, um,
00:11:16
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Yeah, sorry, of business accounts that I'm like, why is this restaurant following me?
00:11:20
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They probably did it at some point because they saw, you know, this is an active account.
00:11:25
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Maybe I'll follow them back.
00:11:26
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I'll become aware.
00:11:27
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Whatever these tactics are, I went, off you go.
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Because you don't really interact with me either.
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I don't care who you are.
00:11:35
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Then I removed all.
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So there's a lot of debt accounts, these kind of accounts.
00:11:39
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And then I removed a lot of people who might have actually been engaging with me as well, who were just in the wrong geography.
00:11:46
Speaker
And I was like, why are these guys?
00:11:49
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It might be because I'd done something with a comic from that place and.
00:11:53
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And so I got a lot of followers from them and I started removing them and I called it down from 11K to 2K.
00:12:00
Speaker
It took me about almost two weeks.
00:12:02
Speaker
I'd do it on the side whenever I was sitting around free and it felt great.
00:12:06
Speaker
And part of me was like, oh, my God, you know, my account will look smaller and it looks like I only have to now we have 2000 followers.
00:12:15
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But this is what I meant when I said social media warps your brain so bad, doesn't it?
00:12:23
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If I was in a room with 2,000 people, it would overwhelm me.
00:12:28
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And so when I looked at it, I was like, man, even this 2,000 is too much.
00:12:33
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And so ideally, I'd want to just...
00:12:36
Speaker
I wanted to bring it down to zero and rebuild everything, but I also hit my deadline of like, this is when I'm going off social media.
00:12:44
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So I made a call and for now I've just gone off it.
00:12:47
Speaker
And like I was saying, it's a bit awkward sometimes because after some shows, people have come up to me and go, hey, what's your Instagram handle?
00:12:57
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And even now, I don't think on a personal level on face-to-face media, I tell people I'm not using it.
00:13:01
Speaker
I just don't want to get into that conversation.
00:13:04
Speaker
And so I've just gone, hey, this is it.
00:13:07
Speaker
But I'm imagining a few people are going to be very disappointed when they follow me.
00:13:10
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See, it's kind of like a TED account.
00:13:12
Speaker
Or if they message me there and I don't respond, tough.
00:13:19
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And, you know, I've got my email website on.
00:13:22
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So if someone really wanted to get through, they can.
00:13:24
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It's let's make them work.
00:13:27
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But yeah, I didn't tell people it's let's see again how it plays out.
00:13:31
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I'm curious out of like one of one of the little things that I'm interested in is when I open it in two months.
00:13:39
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One of the other things would be to see what did I miss, right?
00:13:43
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Were there a bunch of messages?
00:13:46
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Was there anything?
00:13:47
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And if not, and yeah, I'm just curious about what
00:13:51
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it will look like in two months as well.
00:13:53
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So I'm quite interested in this little experiment I'm doing.
00:13:59
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Most of all, just for my own sake, man.
00:14:01
Speaker
And I'm telling you, my brain feels so much better.
00:14:06
Speaker
It's only been 20 days, but I feel such a huge difference in my emotions, in my regulation of my emotions.
00:14:15
Speaker
And, you know, the whole stop comparing yourself to others, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:14:19
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There's enough reason out there online to do it.
00:14:25
Speaker
It does make my phone a little more useless to me as well.
00:14:28
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Not useless, but, you know, I've essentially stuck to WhatsApp, which some might consider a form of social media and to phone calls.
00:14:39
Speaker
And a game I've got down, I used to play on PCs back in the day.
00:14:44
Speaker
I don't know how to pronounce it.
00:14:45
Speaker
I never learned how to.
00:14:46
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It's the game called Mahjong.
00:14:50
Speaker
And it's like a pairing, matching game, whatever.
00:14:52
Speaker
But that's my letting off steam when I'm stuck somewhere.
00:14:57
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I used to scroll social media.
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I'll play this game or do something else instead.
00:15:02
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So the phone hasn't felt like such a huge burden on me too.
00:15:06
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Nowadays, I just leave the phone lying around.
00:15:09
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around the house and I don't stress about like, have I missed a notification, blah, blah, blah.
00:15:14
Speaker
And I realized how much it had like, you know, tentacles around me that that's what it was.
00:15:23
Speaker
And so the phone and social media, both of those things feels a lot lighter now.
00:15:29
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So maybe it's going to be tricky going back to it.
00:15:32
Speaker
But if I have good reason, I will.
00:15:34
Speaker
So that's what's going on with me.
00:15:37
Speaker
That's essentially my New Year's resolution stuff.
00:15:41
Speaker
I'm very interested in this little experiment and taking guys through what it means.
00:15:48
Speaker
Will it mean I get more done, blah, blah, blah.
00:15:53
Speaker
So anyway, I like I have I have been missing the basketball season that's been going on.
00:16:01
Speaker
I might start catching up on that at some point.
00:16:04
Speaker
This you know, the other thing that's kind of made me make these moves, though, is in the last year.
00:16:10
Speaker
a couple of years, I've seen a lot of people my age get really sick.
00:16:15
Speaker
And I wonder, I've also met a lot of people opening up about being ADHD and being diagnosed, especially after the 2020 kind of stressful year that everyone had.
00:16:27
Speaker
And I do wonder, is the ADHD something that sparked more because we're more aware of it or how to diagnose it?
00:16:36
Speaker
Is it a lot of false diagnosis because of social media making people kind of have the symptoms of ADHD?
00:16:43
Speaker
So devices and all that, who knows what's going on?
00:16:46
Speaker
All I know is I do like my meds, man.
00:16:49
Speaker
They even if I'm not truly ADHD, who knows?
00:16:54
Speaker
Because God, we're just all trying to experiment out here.
00:16:59
Speaker
Those meds, and I'm not encouraging you to take it.
00:17:04
Speaker
They just set me right so well.
00:17:07
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Obviously, I do other stuff.
00:17:09
Speaker
I do a lot of like...
00:17:10
Speaker
focus work, meditation, training.
00:17:13
Speaker
I never thought I'd be doing these things.
00:17:17
Speaker
I looked down at this stuff so much in my early life and all that.
00:17:23
Speaker
Exercise is a big part of it.
00:17:24
Speaker
Trying to keep myself organized helps.
00:17:28
Speaker
Learning techniques to do it.
00:17:32
Speaker
I take Concerta and it's such a light dose, the lightest dose, but it just helps my dopamine so much.
00:17:39
Speaker
It means I don't get tired at the end of long training programs.
00:17:43
Speaker
It's such a big difference for me.
00:17:45
Speaker
And a lot of people, when I mention this, they get really scared of meds.
00:17:50
Speaker
I get why traditionally people have been scared of drugs for this use and stuff and blah,
ADHD Medication and Its Impact
00:18:00
Speaker
If you need it, you need it.
00:18:02
Speaker
It's like, yeah, of course, don't abuse these things.
00:18:07
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Of course, be careful before you start and really maybe go to two, three doctors before you take your time.
00:18:13
Speaker
But when you need it, you need it, all right?
00:18:15
Speaker
So A, stop discouraging people from taking it because you don't know how much their life might change.
00:18:21
Speaker
And B, if you're feeling, if you have something that's
00:18:26
Speaker
Just like any other health issue that someone might have, you got to help it with the right medicine and rely on that, too.
00:18:37
Speaker
You know, it's not that hard.
00:18:43
Speaker
Man, I'm really like preaching today.
00:18:47
Speaker
I started this episode thinking, you know what?
00:18:49
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I really, I have good intentions every time I start an episode.
00:18:53
Speaker
And I think I'm going to keep it light, have a little bit of fun.
00:18:56
Speaker
And then I guess when you do a solo podcast, all these thoughts come streaming into your mind.
00:19:01
Speaker
And you talk about streaming.
00:19:04
Speaker
That's another one.
00:19:05
Speaker
I've been trying to, that's a hard one to control.
00:19:08
Speaker
At the beginning of the year, I cut out a few, but some are on annual package, all these apps that I have.
00:19:15
Speaker
And so because the annual subscription hasn't run out, I still have them.
00:19:21
Speaker
And then a few of them I cancel, but...
00:19:25
Speaker
I kind of renewed because there was something I wanted to watch.
00:19:29
Speaker
Largely, I've been off TV quite a bit too.
00:19:32
Speaker
And again, it's been kind of good, like not just generally my addictive nature has been calmer because I've been making these moves.
00:19:41
Speaker
And that's wonderful, right?
00:19:43
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So I feel really good about that too.
00:19:46
Speaker
Sometimes, you know, deep down, I think one of the things that's surfacing is like I was worried, what would I talk to people about?
00:19:53
Speaker
If I have to sit there and catch up with people, go, hey, how's it going?
00:19:57
Speaker
Did you catch the latest game episode?
00:20:00
Speaker
If I take that away, who am I?
00:20:02
Speaker
Am I interesting at all?
00:20:05
Speaker
And that, my friends, is the question we all have to answer, don't we?
00:20:08
Speaker
We got to figure out if we've got any debt to us.
00:20:15
Speaker
And maybe that's what we all run away from, right?
00:20:18
Speaker
Am I just a boring, useless human being that exists for no reason?
00:20:24
Speaker
Or, okay, let's take this chance and figure out if I got something.
00:20:30
Speaker
So if I, over the year, I might lose a lot of friends who might go, hey, he's so boring to talk to now.
00:20:37
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In which case, on the episodes, I'll be like, listen, don't do what I did if you like your social circle and your friends.
00:20:43
Speaker
Don't forget everything I said in my first episode of 2024.
00:20:48
Speaker
You know, 2023 sounded really exciting in my head.
00:20:53
Speaker
In the previous episodes, I've kind of talked about how there was some real highs, some real lows as well.
00:21:00
Speaker
I have a weird feeling about 2024.
00:21:01
Speaker
Not a bad feeling, but just like it feels generally a lot slower as well.
00:21:07
Speaker
And I'm not sure what to expect of this year.
00:21:13
Speaker
And that, again, is a strange feeling to me because most times I'm quite on a high at the beginning of the year for various reasons.
00:21:21
Speaker
Maybe it's just a habit I've kind of put my brain into and this year it's kind of breaking up.
00:21:27
Speaker
So it feels a bit different, but I'm excited to...
Comedy Shows in Dubai
00:21:32
Speaker
podcast through this year.
00:21:34
Speaker
Every time I get on it, I quite enjoy it.
00:21:38
Speaker
It's awesome to discuss ideas into a mic by myself.
00:21:45
Speaker
I think it forces me to think a lot too.
00:21:48
Speaker
In terms of performances and stuff, guys, I'm very excited.
00:21:54
Speaker
If you're based in Dubai, come down to the Courtyard Playhouse.
00:21:59
Speaker
We've got this improvised office-based show coming up.
00:22:04
Speaker
So look out for the dates for that.
00:22:06
Speaker
I am doing very limited stand-up for the first couple of months.
00:22:11
Speaker
But there's a great place called the Clavichord in Barsha Heights.
00:22:17
Speaker
It's run by Mad Cat Comedy by one of my really good friends and fellow comic, McDot.
00:22:23
Speaker
It's such a good night.
00:22:25
Speaker
It's such a great place to watch comedy.
00:22:26
Speaker
So, you know, go check that out if you're based in Dubai as well.
00:22:30
Speaker
Or if you're visiting this part of town, you'd be surprised by how good that comedy scene is right now.
00:22:36
Speaker
And so I love, you know, I've been really enjoying doing that, too.
00:22:39
Speaker
And I've been getting a lot of inquiries from Riyadh and Saudi in general.
00:22:43
Speaker
And maybe I haven't put it on my list of goals for the year, but that's maybe one of the things that I might hit hard or it might just happen, in which case I'd be, you know, it'd be great to do a place where I grew up in.
00:22:56
Speaker
I grew up in Jeddah, but, you know, Saudi, Saudi's home in some ways to me.
00:23:01
Speaker
And yeah, I'm looking forward to all that stuff, I guess, for the year.
00:23:04
Speaker
I've talked a lot.
00:23:06
Speaker
I hope you enjoyed this episode.
00:23:08
Speaker
I'll catch you on the next one when it hits.
00:23:11
Speaker
Until then, take care, have fun, and see if you can hold on to your resolution to at least the first week of Feb so that you are above those 43%.
00:23:23
Speaker
Have a good one, guys.