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Nurturing Minds at Home: Empowering Remote Developers with Mental Health Strategies
118 Plays1 year ago
In this thought-provoking episode of CodePlay Culture, we dive deep into the world of mental health and wellness for remote developers. Our hosts Rui and Logan Dunning are joined by Paulina, a resident expert in social services and mental health, who specializes in helping companies improve workplace wellness. Together, they explore the unique challenges faced by developers working from home, juggling family life, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
Listen in as Paulina shares her wealth of knowledge on the significance of mental health in the remote work environment, offering valuable tips and tricks to keep stress at bay and enhance overall well-being. Discover the importance of a well-balanced diet, regular exercise, exposure to sunlight, and the role of effective communication in fostering a supportive work-from-home atmosphere.
Don't miss this insightful episode that empowers remote developers with practical strategies to nurture their minds and unlock their full potential, all from the comfort of their homes. Tune in to CodePlay Culture and elevate your remote work experience!
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Transcript
Introduction and Lifestyle Tips
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Codeplay Culture podcast, where we discuss tech, gaming, health, and the world around us.
00:00:11
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome back to another exciting, amazing episode of the Codeplay Culture podcast where we go over all sorts of fun things in the coding, playing, entertainment space, work from home, mental health, physical health, pharmacology, optimizing sleep, nutrition, health, diet, exercise, all of that. Today is our first episode in that realm of the
00:00:35
Speaker
a culture around coding, playing, and how to optimize mental health.
Mental Health Post-COVID
00:00:42
Speaker
And I'd like to introduce our guest today, Paulina, who is a registered social worker who is practicing as a mental health counselor and spent the last 10 years of her career supporting people with intellectual disabilities to overcome sociological barriers and foster independence. And welcome, Paulina. Thank you so much for joining, Ru and I.
00:01:06
Speaker
Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. I think it's such an important topic we're covering today. Yeah. It's like I could only imagine you must have gotten so much busier like post COVID. Yeah. Yeah. I actually did my master's during the pandemic. Um, and then I did my practicum out of private practice, uh, private counseling practice.
00:01:27
Speaker
And it's just the influx of support needed for people during this time in general, just not only obviously due to working from home, but the pandemic and everything else that's been going on the last three years. Yeah, it's definitely like it's more talked about now, but it still is not understood to the level of that this has all affected people.
00:01:50
Speaker
Mm hmm. So you're suggesting there's a long term implication to everything that that transpired over the last couple of years that hasn't been brought to light. Absolutely. Like I would say it's like you hear about a little bit more on the news now, right? The people are talking about the effects of mental health before government is putting in place more mental health support with like a hip coverage for people. There's some some talks about this increased suicide rates.
00:02:19
Speaker
But it's just not top of the line news, right? Like it's not, it's kind of like a fad, it fades in and out. It's not until it starts hitting home for people. Very recently I've had a lot of really, really just sad young lives being lost around me, hearing of people who have been losing loved ones.
00:02:42
Speaker
people significantly struggling with their mental health to the point of needing hospitalization. It's just been starting to hit home for a lot of people and I think that's when it's opening eyes and people are like, what is going on?
00:02:55
Speaker
It's like that whole thing where, you know, when the artist dies, they're like, Oh my gosh, have you heard of this amazing artist? They had a lot of great stuff. It's like, Hey, why didn't you appreciate me when I was alive? You have to wait until I'm dead. It's almost like you, uh, by the time people are in that situation, it's too late. Like it's not a, um, there's no like happy pill. You have to work at it every day. And if you get to the point where you need some kind of a, it's probably too late. Yeah. Yeah. And then that's just it, right? People are not recognizing.
00:03:26
Speaker
receiving mental health support as preventative, it's all reactive. And then when you're already at that point, you might be past the point of what a counselor or therapist can do and support you with. Then there's, you know, you're bringing in potential medication, other diagnoses, things that have gone way too far for way too long, unrecognized, unworked on, it's not being paid attention to. So yeah, no, I agree with you 100%.
00:03:50
Speaker
it's really stacked against us too because since we're born like once we get into preschool we're hooked up to the you know capitalist milk machine until we're 65 and then you know most office workers due to sitting and lack of exercise at 65 including my own dad passed away within the first year of retirement. My friend it happened to him is
00:04:14
Speaker
as well. So it is stacked against us, right? Like we're, we can't really choose what to do. Like, do you want to go somewhere today? You can't, you got to go to school or you got to work. You got to do XYZ. And so knowing that is probably even harder for us. Yeah. And it's this like hustle and bustle culture too. I don't, I've been talking about this quite a bit with people, but it's a lot of kind of comparing between Europe and North America. And what does these, these lifestyles look like? And,
00:04:42
Speaker
You know, I'll have family, my whole family's in Poland and I'll have people coming here and just seeing how we live.
00:04:48
Speaker
the pace, the hustle and bustle of everything that we do, the distances that we do and go and travel to do things and see people because we're such a large widespread country, like everything takes so long. Um, and these people are from like smaller towns and their grocery store, they walk to work, they walk to, right? It's not, it's very, it's, it's very different. So yes, comparing the lifestyles, like when you look at North America and what we're kind of accustomed to, and we're just almost like here to,
00:05:16
Speaker
you know, we live to work, not work to live. And that is a huge, huge, huge, just disservice to all of us. Besides Siesta, what else?
Exercise and Accountability
00:05:29
Speaker
It's just culturally different, right? Yeah, yeah. I think culturally, the distance I think is a big piece. I mean, there obviously are people who live in the bigger cities, right? And then they do drive to work, they do the commute, they do have the traffic. But the kind of smaller towns like
00:05:46
Speaker
Like my dad literally walks to work. He walks to work. He works like five minutes away. Um, his son works, he's a teacher and his son works at a, goes to a school. So he sees his son all the time. It's a very different kind of dynamic in that way. And I do understand that's a kind of a rare example and not everyone will have that. Um, but it's the piece around the fact, you know, they're all home by 3 PM.
00:06:08
Speaker
Um,
Tech Neck and Work-from-Home Challenges
00:06:09
Speaker
they walk home together. They have the whole day for us. We're lucky if we get to pick up our kids from daycare by six and then they're in bed by eight, you know? But this work from home thing, yeah, this work from home thing, home thing kind of gave us that opportunity to do all that, to have more control over our, our schedule and spend more time with our families, right? Kind of like the same thing, same situation in Poland, right? Except here we have that opportunity where there is kind of part of society, right?
00:06:39
Speaker
So I feel like we are blessed. We are blessed with this. I don't know. I'm a bit of a devil's advocate on this one. I'm a yes and a no when it comes to this work from home model. I do think that it's provided us with a lot of flexibility. And I do agree with you like having, you know, I mean, the last three years are so hard to compare to because I think we're just kind of in the stages of like,
00:07:03
Speaker
Okay. Life is officially back to normal. Our kids are officially back to school. We're not doing lockdowns. We're not all kind of in this nuclear unit together. So now we have to manage still childcare, um, and then still do our nine to fives. But yes, we get to do it from home. So, so that piece is not this, I wouldn't say still that that's kind of changed. It was the pandemic piece that let us have more time with our kids at home that let us have everyone home.
00:07:30
Speaker
employers were a lot more understanding to having the kids at home while you were working and hearing them in the background and right There is a lot more flexibility to that Whereas we're kind of we're slowly put it pulling away from that and I'm hearing that from a lot of clients I'm seeing it for myself. I don't know. What's your experience like that with with that?
00:07:50
Speaker
like the return to work epidemic. There's a lot of people, especially boomer companies that are like, hey, if I can't see you, I can't put a barcode on you and prove that you're working. And the punch clock level of dinosaur type of organizations, which are
00:08:11
Speaker
Anti anti I don't know are not going with the flow There's one guy on tiktok. I follow he's so funny. It's like when he does funny videos on Culture work from home all this stuff and he's saying there's a lot of people that once they get that email return to work, you know people just Minimize the email and go to indeed
00:08:33
Speaker
right? Because if your current company is not offering what you want, and this is not like an analogy, this is not a preachy analogy for work from home, it's for anything. You need to be actively searching and looking like do not get in a place of complacency to just accept things, you know, just because you are handcuffed and for a lot of people, oh, this is my first job. I don't want to mess it up. Like, no, like just
00:08:56
Speaker
Um, one thing that I would recommend just outside of the, you know, and you have to, you know, um, forgive me and really knows that I go deep into, uh, unnecessary tangents and he's got to pull me out of, uh, rabbit holes, like a magician. Um, but I do something called ABI, which is always be interviewing.
00:09:14
Speaker
So I'm always applying for stuff just to practice those kind of like Toastmaster level of public speaking, video calls, interviews for jobs, not necessarily because I'm interested in, you know, some do turn into clients, customers or positions, but
00:09:31
Speaker
It's just to get out there to know that there's other, you know, things, but, um, yeah, like there, there is this whole shift of like, get back to work. So I can hook you back up to the corporate, you know, milking machine of the, uh, you know, the industry. Right. And do you both know, do you both inclusively, like exclusively work from home now?
Remote Work: Pros and Cons
00:09:53
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. And then so before the pandemic, you did you as well, or were you in the office?
00:09:58
Speaker
Um, I was in the office at least four days a week and Logan, you two probably were in. Yeah. I was, uh, working from home for like four years, kind of before, well, when, uh, we're now working together after that, it's like, it was all work from home.
00:10:14
Speaker
And then it went to, actually no, it went to like three days a week, then it went to two, then it worked from home. And this is probably like two years of work from home pre COVID. And now, so you, you both know, there's no talk of kind of going back.
00:10:31
Speaker
No, which is incredible. Yeah. This is how we're going to retire. Yeah. And honest, and I do, I agree with you. So it's so good for a lot of people. There's so much flexibility. You know, your days are longer, right? Like you're saving on a commute. Um, financially you're making the same or not, or more at this point.
00:10:50
Speaker
and you're not spending money on the clothes, the, you know, the gas, the parking, the maintenance of your car. Like they're financially, there's so many pieces too that you're gaining. Um, but I do think about the people who may not have us full of a life outside of work as maybe some of us are like, um, and I think that loneliness piece is, is, has turned into an epidemic and in our, in our society and,
00:11:20
Speaker
Um, taking away that kind of like human interaction from a lot of people's, um, you know, day to day. And, and I mean, let's be real, we spent eight hours, if not more at work every day. So it doesn't leave that much.
00:11:36
Speaker
Afterwards, so if you're spending that much time at home and you're sitting from a computer, you don't have a job or you have a lot of virtual meetings. You're not talking to anyone. You're kind of just, you know, coding or whatever it may be that you're doing that involves you to just sit in front of a screen for eight hours. You turn it off and you go home and there's no one there. Like you don't have a nuclear family that you're going home to. You don't have that social outlet necessarily. And it is a huge portion of our population.
00:12:01
Speaker
So there's this group of people that we also sometimes neglect to think about how that's affecting them and their personal lives, just not having those social outlets. Of course, devil's advocate people can say, well, it's on you to build up your social life. But I think we can also agree to say that as adults, it's hard as heck to make friends right now. Yeah.
00:12:22
Speaker
Like do I have to download an app to make friends? Is that the world we live in? Because like, Jesus, I don't know. Like it's just like, can you imagine kids that are like, I don't know, just like if you're not going to that place and that work from home is getting younger, right? Because now that like AI is disrupting the educational system and they can't keep up with plagiarism, they're again going to shift lower and lower where it's going to be hybrid at high school. And then, you know, can you imagine like trying to homeschool
00:12:52
Speaker
And it was in the epidemic, we got a call from the teacher. It's like, oh, your son isn't participating in the Teams meetings, Microsoft Teams. And we're like, listen, listen, lady, with all due respect, my son doesn't know how to read yet. I mean, like he's never used a computer where like, you know, don't give him that stuff because we want him to have a fun, fulfilling childhood filled with friends and non-screen. Don't worry, you'll get the screen by the time you want it or don't, you know, but it's just hilarious.
00:13:23
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly it. It's so difficult now. It's hard for us to make friends as adults. Yesterday I had a birthday party for my daughter and 50% of the guests were my colleagues that I met 10, 5 years ago who have kids and brought their kids. I would not have had these connections had I been virtual this whole time.
00:13:43
Speaker
Right. Um, so, so again, there's this piece that, you know, we already are limited with our social networks. And as you grow older, your social network gets smaller and smaller. And now you're taking away this, this opportunity for people to make connections and friendships at work, which is really the primarily way adults do make front, have friendships. Um, and yeah, so that's, that's a big piece. So again, that's kind of contributing to that, like loneliness aspect and, um,
00:14:12
Speaker
creating a society of kind of like unhappy people. So there is that piece. So for that culture that is like all work from home, like you're saying a coder or someone that's doing computer work and that's lonely, doesn't have a dog, doesn't have family friends or that nuclear family.
00:14:34
Speaker
some of the companies, a lot of them, I would say a majority in my limited biased opinion, is they don't have cameras on for the calls, right? And just that little thing, having an always on camera policy, you know, like within reason, sorry, my, you know, I don't know, I have like a
00:14:52
Speaker
contagious, flesh eating rash, like sure, turned it off like that's a little TMI. But the rest of the you don't have that level of connection without it. But there's I've been on like calls with and then it's all just it's not even profile photos because like, you know, I love when people set those. But it's basically the generic
00:15:13
Speaker
you know, LD, RP, like all of the initials in the circles, you know, that's like, how do you make a relationship with the circle that talks, right? It's like, might as well just get a Google Home or, you know, it's, but that's the thing. Like to Paula's point, Paulina's point, I'm sorry. Um, um, you don't have the opportunity to, to, um, get close to somebody, right? Cause you're at home. Everybody's a stranger, right? Everybody's a screen.
00:15:39
Speaker
So by not going to the workplace, you don't have that connection, that, you know, emotional connection with that person. So I mean, why would I turn on my screen to talk to the stranger? Like it doesn't make sense to me. I don't want to personally, unless I know the person. And I don't know that even that's enough. Like I really don't know that this screen aspect, you know, of just being able to have this interaction over video is enough for us to be like, this is a meaningful relationship. Like this is, you know, I really click on this person. I really vibe with them.
00:16:09
Speaker
You're not going out for lunch with colleagues at noon. You're not going to go, you know, you're not going to go out and do the social aspect of work. You're not going to zoom someone to just gossip or talk or talk about like workplace office politics. Like you're not going to do that. So there's this, this, this socializing piece that's really missing. And then all your interactions are work, work, work, business talk, right? You're not so.
00:16:33
Speaker
For that aspect, I do really appreciate the hybrid model. I do think that people are benefiting a lot from the hybrid model where it's three days at home, two days out in the office, are just giving people the option to go win if they want to. Again, I do work in an office where we are now in a hybrid model phase.
00:16:56
Speaker
I don't know, there is something to just going in that like one, two days a week and you kind of get your social interactions out. Like the way that our office has done it is everyone on your team is expected to be on one day. So you're kind of the people on your team. Um, and at first everyone obviously had their hands up in their backs and they're like, no, we've been working good. We don't want to go into the office and slowly and slowly as time has gone by, the attendance has increased. Yeah. I sometimes think about it and I sometimes do miss it.
00:17:26
Speaker
you know, just being there and socializing and you know, but I don't know. It's just hard to quantify, right? I'm here. I don't want to trade this for anything, but I do miss that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So again, I mean, I think there's a big piece around just what can we then do to increase our own social lives, right? Like to also, if you are someone who you know, you're in a position where you are forced to work from home, you are someone who's like, you know, your, your place is not offering a hybrid model.
00:17:53
Speaker
Yes, you're gaining so much and you have so much opportunity to cook dinner while you work and maybe run out to the grocery store. No one's going to say anything. You're gaining a lot of time back to do you and increase the quality of your life. But at the same time, if we think about it, how much more are we multitasking and how much more are we putting on our plates?
00:18:16
Speaker
Yes. If you Google right now, efficiencies of working from home versus in office work, one, the top three results, one of them is on average. Um, it's more efficient to work from home because of the, not just the commute and the mental stress of the commute driving. Yes, it's just driving, but there is a stress there just focusing on the road and whatever.
00:18:38
Speaker
is on average, you work instead of five days a week, you work six. So what employers get for the bang for the buck is a mentally healthier employee that works an extra day a week without asking, but then you have the boomers that are like, oh, I can't barcode you so you're not working.
Work-Life Balance and Disconnecting
00:18:58
Speaker
So it is more efficient. However, one of the reasons is you can't separate work
00:19:04
Speaker
from personal because there's no there's no here and there. That means that you're always working and you're always personal. And that is very mentally hard to unplug. And they had that. You know, I'm not sure where it is in that bill that was passed where, you know, people can't email you past a certain time. It was like some not Ontario or federal. It's Ontario and it's the bill. It's the right to disconnect act. Yeah.
00:19:34
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, so it's the idea that like you do past your Your whatever lauded hours of work have the right to disconnect your just because you're home and you're available by your email or your phone You're not expected to continue working past the times that you've been scheduled or you're being paid to Honestly, I just think it's a wish-wash act let people are not going like that one's really sure
00:19:59
Speaker
The expectations have always been, I guess it depends on the field. Like I, you know, I work in social services, so it's a little bit different, but you know, when you work with people and humans and their lives and you know, their whole lives are at stake. Like you're not just like, sorry, I have the right to disconnect. Like I'm not going to answer my phone. Um, but I think for, for people in more corporate settings, it's a little bit different. I think you, it's something you can probably use to your advantage to kind of say like, I'm, I'm, I've done my eight hours. Like I'm not going to be expected to push this project past the times that I'm allotted to work. Right.
00:20:29
Speaker
Um, but like, you know, you did say that they're getting a mentally healthier people who work an extra hour more, an extra day more. I don't know about this mentally healthier piece.
00:20:41
Speaker
For sure. Yeah. It is, right? But then, because you can't separate, you end up being more mentally unhealthy because of it. So it basically is like you get super mentally healthy because you're working from home and you don't have the commute. And then there's almost this buyer's remorse from new people to working from home that happens maybe about a month or two after of its higher stress than it was before.
00:21:06
Speaker
And that's mainly due to what I think you're hinting at is, you know, the human interaction piece, the lonely person that they don't have friends, they have coworkers. I know that's kind of maybe oversimplifying things, but like people rely on those.
00:21:23
Speaker
And then when they get to go into the office, let's say they haven't been there in two months, forget about productivity. If you got a hybrid model, just, just say that if you work one day a week, nothing's getting done. That's your social day. Yeah. It's your social day. You're going to go in. It's like if you're a doctor and you do see patients some days and you're in surgery, that's like the scene patients on Friday.
00:21:44
Speaker
Actually, Friday would be a good remote hybrid day. If you think about it, you're already checked out mentally. You're like, whatever, I don't, you know, what's getting done? No, it's a weekend, right? And then, you know, you know, obviously, what's probably helpful is, you know, with higher stress, and people tend to, you know,
00:22:04
Speaker
higher stress always, not always, typically is more alcohol, right? Because for the higher stress, you need something to, um, depress it to bring it down. But then that just, uh, snowballs and makes it worse. So even though it would seem like, yeah, like Friday, you really need that, whatever it does not really
00:22:24
Speaker
equate to anything better. No. And I think there have been studies done about the increase of substance use since the pandemic, obviously. And yeah, people working from home and all these aspects, for sure. And again, this is the hard piece. Like, yes, you get to work with no pants on and you're still presentable or professional. She's like, Pauline is like, can you save that for the pot? And it was like, listen, this is your first time on this. You're already like, you wanted
00:22:52
Speaker
You want a job? Because you're awesome in every way. My mental health has increased since you come on this pod, also since not wearing pants. Like I was really stepped away. And when he stepped away, he was in pajamas. And I had two calls on... Everyone stand up on three.
00:23:21
Speaker
It's like a client call in a, in a employee call on the, you know, Friday last week, both of them, I had no pants on. I was just standing desk. I was like, my legs are getting so cold because I have a treadmill. So the treadmill is not on.
00:23:35
Speaker
like i'm freezing right and i'm like all right you mean like you don't want to make someone feel like you want to wrap it up but like you know standing two hours without pants in a basement and then like you're trying to be energy conservative so you're freezing um but yeah like i and then you forget
00:23:53
Speaker
And then you're like, ah, I don't know, standing desk for the win. Because, you know, when you said that stand up, you could be like, I'm already standing. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to lower the desk? Kyle, lower it. Like, do you want me to sit down? Can you imagine if the subs like stand up and then you just, you go below the camera? Just like lowering your desk. Yeah.
00:24:14
Speaker
Yeah, that song is the hedgehog finger. Yeah, but yeah, anyways, it's crazy. There's no, there's for sure so many benefits. And I think for people who do have already a rich fulfilling life outside of work, and who have a good strong circle and have a lot of connections, this is just increasing their quality of life.
00:24:35
Speaker
The one thing that I will say for those people, um, is that be, be very mindful of your own boundaries. Be very mindful
Mindfulness and Mental Health
00:24:43
Speaker
of your, the pressure that we put on ourselves, because I think a huge piece of what we do is we now say, well, I'm working from home. So I have to make sure that I do this personal list of things that I have to get done on top of the eight hours of work, but I also have to get done. And now we're thinking, now we just merged the two, right? Whereas before we're like, well, this personal list can't get done because I'm working all day.
00:25:05
Speaker
Um, and it's just like what you're saying, the personal and the professional are mixing and we're trying to get so many things done at once. So boundaries are huge. We need to establish like, what are we doing? What are our goals?
00:25:16
Speaker
Um, be very realistic with yourself. Do not put this pressure on yourself to have to get so much done just because you're home. You're still working. This isn't leisure. And I think it's taking a lot of time for us to readjust our mindset to also not feel guilty that, okay, but because I'm home, I should do more or because I'm home. Um, I should be,
00:25:37
Speaker
Working longer because I didn't have to go into the office if this is the model that your employer has agreed to and set it's not to increase expectations on what your Productivity should be in that sense like you're gonna do what you're supposed to do But do not put extra pressure on yourself is what I'm trying to say
00:25:55
Speaker
Yep, for sure. And self-love is very important. And yeah, setting those boundaries are good. Like rush time is important. I was going to say sabbatical, but I meant to say Sabbath is important, meaning like you have no screen time. I couldn't sleep last night because I was editing videos for
00:26:14
Speaker
YouTube. But like I YouTubed like something and an Eckert Tolle video came up about how phone phones kind of distract us from stillness. And he said something fascinating, which helped me fall right asleep because his voice is very calm. He said,
00:26:35
Speaker
Why is it that we live in this world where we've put up a lot of things to keep us constantly stimulated? It's almost like a deliberate attempt to avoid stillness. So I know this sounds very like pie in the sky, hippie past the Kool-Aid that kills you, but potentially sit in a room with no screens.
00:27:03
Speaker
and do nothing. That sounds crazy, right? Did we talk about this on the last podcast? We did, right? Yeah. Yeah. The thing about stillness. Stillness, yes. I really like how that was said. Yeah, I really like how that was said. Can you repeat that?
00:27:24
Speaker
the last piece of what she said, deliberately. It's like we were doing all this. Can I just tell you, I don't even know what day the weekend is. I like that too. I'm highly efficient and also highly disabled.
00:27:41
Speaker
Well, maybe you need Paul's help after all our Paulina's help. Sorry. Yes. And since she's down the street since. Yeah, we're neighbors. I'll walk to your house and then have that human interaction. And then like she's like, call the police. This guy's being weird. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. 100 percent. But no, he said if I can try again. No pants. Yeah. Like, well, yeah, it's actually getting warm enough. Like nobody. It's not. It's OK for work, though. Why can't it be OK here?
00:28:10
Speaker
Yeah, it's like, oh, it's always it's warmer near Polynesian. It's like it's down the street. It's like, yeah, trust me. It's like, what are you talking about? Oh, he said so we have all of these screens and Netflix and games and all of these things to keep us constantly stimulated coffee. It's almost as if we're going out of our way as a species.
00:28:38
Speaker
to deliberately avoid stillness. And and he spoke he spoke about it in a way that he's like, I know that this is the way. Right. Without being like, you know, a cock cocky prick. Right. Like, because obviously he's enlightened past the point to need to tell people that he's enlightened. And he said that he's like, you know, you don't need any of that.
00:29:08
Speaker
And he gave the analogy you're sitting outside Doing nothing listening to the wind the birds the background Getting calm things are arising within you and then oh you get a text message You must look at it because the expectation we have is we must respond immediately And his wife told him that and he's like why must I respond immediately? Why do I have to be available? so
00:29:37
Speaker
Again, crazy, but if you can, when you get to 5 p.m., turn off your phone. Don't go on screens. Don't look at screens. If you have a window that has a beautiful outside, that's the only screen that maybe you can look at and maybe go outside and walk around. It's hard in the winter, for sure. It's not, but it's not.
00:30:00
Speaker
We live in Canada. We have boots. We have jackets. It's all hard. It's one of the conversations I have with my clients. So my kind of go to is like, typically we get an hour break. So I, my suggestion is always like you do a half hour lunch and two 15 minute breaks. Do not leave it for you to just take this one hour. And now you're like, Hmm, what errands can I rent in this one hour? Maybe I'll go do my groceries. Maybe I'll go do this.
00:30:23
Speaker
No, this one hour is a break for you. It's for your mental health for you to take a step back and not to continuously stimulate yourself. Just like exactly what you're saying. Um, to the point where you're not, your brain's not getting in your rest. You're so the mental load that has, that we've put on ourselves and, and really truly it is a lot to do with this work from home model. Um, the mental load has increased so much to the point that we're just like these robots trying to produce and produce and produce.
00:30:48
Speaker
Um, and we're not giving ourselves time to recharge to even realize how much that would help our production and our productivity in general. Right. So we think like, well, I can't take a break. I have to produce. I promise you what you're going to put together when you're like on 10% is not the same as what you're going to put together when you're on like 50 at least. Right. So take that, take those two 15 minute breaks, take the half hour lunch, eat, eat people don't just have a coffee.
00:31:15
Speaker
People like eat people. No, you're pro cannibal. I see how I see how that we're getting back into Resident Evil now. Is that what we're talking about? No, no, like it's because I spoke when she was speaking and what I've learned is I should listen. Yes. No, it did sound as though people eat. I'm talking to the audience. Like, ah, there we go. Yeah. That makes sense. Valid. People eat. People eat. People sleep. Yeah. Hang on. There's my advice.
00:31:44
Speaker
meet people. Yeah. All right. You guys are going to attend it now. You know, speaking of your, your, your, you're talking about 15 minute, 30 minute as opposed to one hour, right? But that even that whole system is wacky, right? When they take 15, 15 or one hour, they're still turning you into some kind of, uh,
00:32:05
Speaker
some boomer kind of punch-clock automaton, right? You should have however much time you need to eat the food that you want when you feel like eating it, when you're hungry and not at these exact intervals. They should kind of do away with that whole thing just for our kind of mental health, right?
00:32:25
Speaker
Like a Terry Fox hot dog with all of it. My lunch takes a long time. I'm meeting a human leg. I'm sorry. I'm going to take one bite at a time. So yes, I agree with you a thousand percent in an ideal world where like, okay, here's what you need to get done. Here's the expectation of your job. As long as you produce, I don't care how you do it. And this is the beauty of being a developer and being able and being able to work from home is that freedom.
00:32:54
Speaker
is, is, is, we're not bound by that. No, we're not bound by that control. So we're, we're completely free and absolved of that insanity. So let me challenge you. How many breaks do you take in a day? I'm on break right now. I'm breaking all the time. You're not, I know you're not. I know you're not. I'll answer that properly Paulina. I like, I, I've worked from home more than I have in the past, I don't know, four years and my wife's like the other day. So do you think this summer you'll do gardening work?
00:33:23
Speaker
But I used to love it. I do not do. I don't leave this desk like I do not leave this basement. I'm like a prisoner in my own house, which used to be the place that I love. And now it's it's turning into something that gives me anxiety when I look around. It's
Physical Activity and Health
00:33:38
Speaker
dungeon. It's a dungeon. And when my wife unlocks the basement door or puts through the baloney under the door for my lunch and if she lets me out, like, do I go outside?
00:33:50
Speaker
No, because outside is not completing tasks. And as soon as you complete a task, you don't take time to appreciate or reflect. You're like, okay, what's next? And that is the dopamine greed cycle because greed cannot be satisfied with greed. And then the higher you have that is more
00:34:13
Speaker
you get in what i found is the antagonist of dopamine the serotonin you wanna feel very bad about yourself complete more tasks you wanna feel even worse about your life complete even more if you did a hundred last week if you do two hundred this week you'll be more depressed this week than you were last
00:34:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's not about completing more or doing better. It's about taking that time. Like even Jeff Bezos is, you know, arguably, you know, a prick for the most part. Like I don't think a lot of people are like, yeah, he's such a cool, nice guy in terms of what he's kind of contributed to the world of late. But he even said that, no, I'd rather get an eight hour sleep. I get right. I wouldn't want to produce anything mentally if I wasn't well
00:34:55
Speaker
rested. And if you're always cranking dopamine by completing tasks, by the time you get to bedtime, you have not enough serotonin to convert into melatonin. So unplugging is probably a great idea, like five, boom, no lights, no screens. I was working on a project from seven in the morning last weekend. It was three o'clock, 3 p.m. I realized I didn't have a coffee, a bite of food,
00:35:22
Speaker
time just flew. I did not know what time it was until it was 3pm. Yeah. I had to pick up my son from school and I just, I was unaware. So yeah. So here's a wild concept. So here's a wild concept. You said like this boomer mentality of like these 30 minutes, 15 and 15. Um, I think we're in a place in the world where now we're, it used to be like, can't have your, you know, do you remember the days where it was like, do not have your phone out when you're working? Like you can't have your phone on you. Oh yeah. Um,
00:35:52
Speaker
So we've gone from that, this like instillment of like, make sure you take these are your breaks and you're not allowed to socialize outside of this to now make sure you take this 30 minutes and this 15 minutes because our employees are burning out. Right.
00:36:07
Speaker
And this what it used to be, this kind of like boomer mentality of like, okay, you're only allowed to lunch at this time, is almost moving towards a place where we're forcing people to take time. And we're having to put in the right to disconnect acts that are not really, yes, there's obviously the employer piece of this, but a lot of it is self-served. A lot of it is us not respecting our own boundaries. A lot of it is us not appreciating ourselves, our time and our humanity enough.
00:36:35
Speaker
and not respecting ourselves enough to say, no, I need this. And this project is not more important than me eating. I'm not going to do the next one if I don't need. So I think this concept of these timeframes, we need guidelines. We need timeframes. If we don't set schedule, we don't function on just a fly. Because when you do, this is what happens. You sit at a desk from seven till three and you don't move.
00:37:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And then 65 you retire and then you're like, okay, well, I'm going to do some gardening. And then you go out there and have a heart attack and your face goes right in the dirt because you're not used to moving your body. Um, so I have a treadmill underneath my standing desk. I walked 10 K a day, um, at, you know, five kilometers an hour, I think, or whatever five speed is like, I am sweating after maybe five minutes and then I'll turn
Cultural Perspectives on Health
00:37:29
Speaker
it off for the calls. Cause I'm obnoxious, but not.
00:37:32
Speaker
that obnoxious. To be panting on your calls. Yeah, to be panting. Like, oh, what's wrong? You just escaped a tiger. But I mean, even that I find is just like, if you get physically healthy, it definitely helps with everything in the world because we're hunter gatherers, right? So we're not like, if you look at a lot of the societies that don't have screens and they're just like, you know, going out there, getting food, going back, they look at like the Western
00:37:59
Speaker
society is like a bunch of Neanderthals where we're looking at certain tribes that don't go into a population at all that are disconnected, language we've never heard of, all that stuff. And they're like, what are these people doing? Right? Yeah.
00:38:17
Speaker
There was a funny thing on TikTok that the person said, oh, why don't you want to go to America and like live the the American dream? And he said in whatever that translate, he's like, is that America? Is that the place where they jump off the buildings? Because they don't do that, because there's no the mental health there is like, oh,
00:38:40
Speaker
They don't prescribe SSRIs or antidepressants. What they do is they say, okay, you're feeling depressed. I want you to go and do something for someone else. And apparently that is much better to do than taking medication to, you know, to inhibit serotonin. So it makes more. It's like, no, if you want to make more serotonin, you do less work.
00:39:07
Speaker
Yeah. Well, they're concerned with survival, right? Survival of the self. So a little bit different than what we're concerned about, right? You don't think we're concerned with the survival of our? No, I mean, none of us have to go out and kill something for food and have to skin it or else we don't eat that evening, right? That's survival of the body. There's nobody in that situation here. And that's why we have a lot of mental issues, right? I know what Pauline's going to say, but go ahead.
00:39:34
Speaker
No, I'm just saying I think that we underestimate just because we're not going out there and we're not having to hunt and gather. I don't think that what we do is killing our people. I don't think that, you know, I think we underestimate how much of this hustle and bustle and this grind that we're so used to is deteriorating our population and is turning like, we have to think like, what is the next 10, the next two generations going to look like?
00:39:59
Speaker
Right. Like what is that? Like are we producing people who are going to be healthy, ready to like sustain our, our group to sustain our people? Probably not, but not, not here in the West, but there are places where they will sustain humanity for sure. Just not here. Right. Definitely not here. I don't see how that's possible. Right.
00:40:18
Speaker
I just don't see how we're going to move past this, right? Mental health has always been around, right? But look at some tribes. They may have mental health issues, but they're busy. They have things to do to survive to keep other people alive. They don't have time to think about anxiety and breathing into a paper bag. They don't have paper bags.
00:40:36
Speaker
Yeah, they also, again, they're not as unhealthy, right? Because they're outside, they're, you know, working with their body.
Supplements and Sunlight
00:40:45
Speaker
And, you know, going back to what I was saying about how I got way more mentally fit by becoming physically fit in the past two years. So now I can output much more work, but am I
00:40:56
Speaker
doing much more downtime? No, even less than ever. So now I'm like, you know, more mentally, you know, good because of the physical, but I'm like taking less breaks than ever. Yeah. I mean, one good example is the Hekawee tribe in southern there, southern Brazil.
00:41:14
Speaker
They're, they're a great example of, um, you know, people who have their faculties, you know, completely in order, but they're, they're a bit short, right? They're about three feet and they marched through the woods and they're typically always chanting. Where the heck are we? Where the heck are we? I'm not entirely sure if that aids their mental health or, or, uh, just kinda, you know, makes it a little more, more, um, I dunno, resilient, but they definitely have, uh, don't have self-esteem issues, right?
00:41:43
Speaker
Our self-esteem issues don't come from board. Wait, why were you guys laughing? Did you think I was making that up? No, I didn't know where that was going. They have a mobile app though, right? Who? That tribe? I'm serious. Look them up. They're real tribes. So it was a true thing, but then the pun was just a
00:42:06
Speaker
like a slice through like, because I thought the pun decredited this story, but that's true. What was the pun? Can you point out the pun to me? I'm not sure what it was. Yeah, I got a pun for you. So my favorite type of joke and rapper is a big pun.
00:42:24
Speaker
There you go. Then that's a double entendre plus that is an entendre. Like, you know, when you're adding up the map, like the you know, you're like, OK, so he ordered two fish sticks was the side of cheese. And it's like and then you're like, that was 50 bucks. OK, thank you. But my best dad joke happened, you know, when my kids were born, because I think I think before then it was just jokes. I don't think I'm literally not witty enough to keep up with these like I'm not.
00:42:53
Speaker
slogan. That was a good one, though. Which one the try last one or the last one, the big pun? No, the one after that. Oh, the what did I say?
00:43:03
Speaker
I know some people do mean like it's just gone. It's like a short term amnesia. What did I say? Yeah, like there's something missing, but there's something extra. You know what I mean? So I'm definitely something extra. Yeah, like, you know, like you know how they have like the spectrum, but then they have like the the ultraviolet spectrum. That's like, yeah, it's like that's where I am. It's like just up here. You can't see that without glasses. Yeah.
00:43:30
Speaker
It's a good place. Thank you. I don't love myself as much as I should. Yeah. Well, you should and you should. And I think like if you think that you brought up, um, okay. So I think one of the things that, you know, you brought up that was really good was the self-love piece and you kind of unintentionally brought up mindfulness without meaning to bring up, I think, mindfulness. But,
00:44:00
Speaker
that time to like step away to disconnect it's not like sometimes you simplify it by saying just you know put your phone on silent and don't answer your notifications like realistically we have responsibilities like dinnertime how many of us are like okay you know maybe not us but there's other people where they're like
00:44:19
Speaker
my kid needs to eat and they're not eating, I'm putting on the TV for them to eat. Like it's almost at this day and age, so impossible to step away from this kind of, I know it's a big no, no, I'm just saying there are people who, who resort to things, maybe the ones who have like six kids and they're like trying to find sanity and they can't. Um, but I think it's about just being mindful
00:44:40
Speaker
about this and not kind of saying, like trying to, a lot of people simplify it to the point that they're hoping life will just give them time for this. Life will just let them step away or when things are less busy, I'm going to try to implement this. When things are not as hectic and my to-do list is not as long, I'm going to try to make some more time to just be still and have some peace and quiet. Life's never getting less busy. I can promise you that.
00:45:07
Speaker
There's never going to be a time in your life when you're like, okay, now it's not going to happen. So what are we waiting for? The same thing with exercise, right? People are like, when I have time, I'm going to start exercising. You never are going to have time to exercise. Like your life is not just going to give you this window of time. So, you know, it's the same thing with mindfulness, like finding time in your day,
00:45:32
Speaker
to one, like you said, appreciate the things that you're doing. Appreciate your productivity. Appreciate the tasks that you're completing. Give yourself some actual affirmation of, holy crap, like I'm doing a really good job and I'm so bummed out what I'm doing, um, to the point that I deserve to eat. So maybe I should step away, grab my lunch, sit outside for a little bit. It's springtime now. Sit on your porch. I don't care.
00:45:53
Speaker
where you go, but just take the lunch outside. Don't bring your phone with you. Give yourself that 15 minutes. And I'm going to go back to those boomer boundaries that Ruby called them, but they're needed because if you don't have them, you're just a free flow and you're never making time. You're not putting in time in your schedule to actually give yourself that minute to be still.
00:46:13
Speaker
So be intentional, be mindful with it. Actually set time aside, schedule these things as if it was a meeting because otherwise you're never going to do it.
00:46:23
Speaker
Yeah. Like even use your Outlook calendar to say, I blocked off this time to work out where I blocked off this time for, you know, lunch or mental health, or just going for a walk. And then when people schedule stuff, they'll see that your availability is off. And then my other tip for people that are listening that are, you know, going through stuff is like the treadmill work for me. And also when you're on a meeting and you can't walk,
00:46:45
Speaker
I have like these at the side of my desk, right? So I basically have them like basically at the side and you can imagine, and I'm just kind of doing like risk curls, which help with whatever. Um, and you know, you can't really, you probably didn't know that, you know, I was doing that for a little bit.
00:47:01
Speaker
All right, you're going to pick up a bottle. I'm sorry. Here's a bottle of 50 percent moonshine. And for those that like to take Zoom meetings and hate their boss, what you want to do is just take it out during the video call and make one of those. Like, no, it's like, listen, listen, man. I get a shot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
00:47:29
Speaker
Yeah, no, I agree, and that's a great idea. I actually read, I think my husband told me once, he read this study where he was saying that for people working from home, even if you do sitting down, if you do calf flexes with your toes, like you literally like lift your, like put pressure on your toes, flex your calves and do that on and off throughout the day.
00:47:53
Speaker
that increases your, like that alone counts almost like a, like towards like an exercise or movement for your body and the way that your body, I don't know, like I could probably send you a link once we do find this and the theory behind it, but it's just the small things you can do while you're still trying to obviously be productive, but no matter what,
00:48:11
Speaker
And my legs are numb. Like I, like I realized like, wow, like I can't even, like it hurts so bad to do that. Just lift your toes all the way up and then push them all the way down. It hurts because I think that there's like a lack of blood flow when you're sitting, like even in the best chairs.
00:48:27
Speaker
They say sitting is the new smoking, but quite honestly, stagnancy or staying in one spot is the new smoking. There is a good guy on Upright Health. He went really popular on YouTube. He had some good tips too. If you got a laptop work from home, if you sit and then you're on a mouse and keyboard docked,
00:48:47
Speaker
You could also lie on the ground and then like just put your feet in some weird position, like get your body all like. Yeah. So for some reason, and then maybe you have your laptop up here, just keep moving around, you know, like. Yeah. Sit all day. And to you, like I know a lot, obviously you have a whole set up in the basement, but a lot of people do have been putting their offices in the basement just because now an expectation is.
00:49:11
Speaker
You don't have an office, but you need a space. Like we're not paying you more for it, but you need to dedicate a space of your home to a private office that you can have meetings without the, like, right. Um, and most people can't do that. They can't dedicate a whole bedroom to an office or whatever it may be. Um, but if you are able to, when you are not having meetings, unplug your laptop and go sit on your, at your kitchen or your dining room table where there's windows and you're getting some, that's the light. She makes a huge difference.
00:49:39
Speaker
Vitamin D right in the morning, right in your eyeballs. Don't look at it directly. Um, and you know, that's the only vitamin I would ever recommend to anyone just take is like at least 10,000 UI of vitamin D daily. And the thing, since it's a fat soluble vitamin really doesn't absorb, right? So if you take a teaspoon of MCT oil, maybe about 10 minutes before the vitamin D you can pretty much double, I don't know, efficaciously what the actual amount is, but you do feel it a much more.
00:50:10
Speaker
And I never had that growing up. I would just be like, I'm sad. I don't know why, right? In the winter time. But I'd say your kids for sure, not the Flintstone ones, not the ones with a bunch of sugar, but just like, you know, they even have day drops you can put in.
00:50:26
Speaker
Not just in the winter for the summer to like this is one of the most underrated. We're literally in these Institutions with light to light deprived institutions, especially the basement where it's colder lack of blood flow lack of Sun. Yeah Yeah, suddenly it's very important because you get that Sun in your face in the morning. That's your high amount of I don't know whatever it is your Adrenaline and then you have that
00:50:55
Speaker
dopamine that converts to serotonin throughout the day. You're very happy if you get the sun. And then eventually serotonin converged to melatonin. That's when you get like mellow toning and you like calm down and sleep. And for the parents out there that are giving their kids with all, you know, within reason melatonin, which is a hormone for some reason, you can buy this hormone just in a vitamin form that is detrimental in so many ways to calm them down.
00:51:23
Speaker
Yes, some parents will just like, my kid can't sleep. I give him an iPad all day long. Why can't he sleep? And then they hit him with melatonin, which is a hormone, which you're not supposed to take exogenous hormones in children, especially because they're developing mentally and physically. But melatonin for me is the conversion of serotonin into melatonin, not melatonin directly.
00:51:46
Speaker
That's like saying, I don't even care if you were happy today. Here's all the happiness in the form of tiredness. It just messes you up, right? There are people that do need to take it for, you know, obviously reason or the kids, but that is the worst thing to do. I would say that anyone taking like melatonin to sleep as a sleep aid should take high amounts of vitamin D in the morning because that will convert to melatonin much more naturally than taking exogenous melatonin or, you know,
00:52:16
Speaker
So have you ever heard of Ashwagandha? Yes. And that has melatonin. Melatonin. Yeah. Yeah. And Ashwagandha is like it also has some psychedelic effects. If I take too much Ashwagandha, I'm like like I went in my hot tub on like too much Ashwagandha at night. And I was like, oh, there's going to be a bear that's going to hop the fence and just like maybe have a shot of vodka with me and then probably kill me after. It's just like, yeah.
00:52:42
Speaker
because he was in a hurry. He was rushed. But yeah, I don't know. See, how do we get on back track? Back on track? I don't know. But I will add to that. Magnesium is a huge piece. Yes. A lot of people underestimate their, like they jump to melatonin, they jump to sleep medication without even doing blood work to check, like do you have a deficiency in magnesium, which is very easy for us to get. And the kids as well, a lot of kids do end up having
00:53:10
Speaker
deficiency and magnesium. Yeah. So banana. But then you need to take iron, right? Iron to kind of activate the magnesium or is it the other way around? Oh, I don't know. One of them you have to take together iron and magnesium or there is some of that iron. I can't remember. I do. I do take both as a, just like in general, because I'm, I'm, I have low magnesium and iron. So I take both, but I don't know.
00:53:36
Speaker
Yeah. There's something about, there's also something that stops, I think dairy prevents you from absorbing iron. Like I was told not to eat dairy with iron when I took my iron pills. Yeah. Everything affects something else. But generally if you're doing something other than nothing, you're going to be better off. So like, as long as you're an advocate for your progressive, better mental health, you're in a better spot than people that are smoking and getting drunk and not even looking at their kids, like chuck them an iPad. And that's such a great piece. Yeah, go ahead.
00:54:06
Speaker
I was going to say there's like two types of what's called not melatonin. What you're saying? What was your supplement again? Magnesium. That Dr. Andrew Huberman recommends. Like one is like magnesium theinate and then one of them is by
00:54:24
Speaker
by something, like one of them's more, the second one's more common, the other one's more, you know, expensive, but hard to get there because there is like 10 different variants of magnesium. So just don't blindly buy magnesium and do your research. You, yeah, you don't want to cheap out on, don't get the McDonald's of magnesium, but yeah, majority of the world they say is like deficient in that electrolyte, like sodium magnesium.
00:54:49
Speaker
Potassium but you're that's a great example bananas, right? Like if people want to eat a lot of those go bananas Yeah, yeah natural, right and I just sometimes it's very overwhelming and I do have some clients especially like parents or like parents of like kids like young kids who are so overwhelmed with this whole concept of like how do I keep my kids healthy and So much stress comes with that too is like well, what supplements do I give them? It's so overwhelming, you know, my doctor says nothing and
00:55:17
Speaker
Right. Then you have the doctors, right? Who will be like, they don't need anything. They're fine. They get as long as they have a rich diet. Okay. Great. What's a rich diet for a picky kid? Like if that's hard. Um,
00:55:29
Speaker
So, you know, I always recommend like, do get in touch with a naturopath, do work with people who do specialize with these things who can really guide you and help you. And also something is better than nothing. Start small, right? Do your research about one thing. Like you said, vitamin D, start with that. Do your research about that, implement it, and then just start small. Don't try to beat it all and end all and get it all right instantly. Um, because it takes time for people to get to a place where they really figured out a good regime for themselves, nevertheless, their kids.
00:55:55
Speaker
So just start somewhere, right? And this is all for the mental health course. This is all for the mind. Of course. Well, it's physical, mental, like it's all connected, right? Like we have to be physically well to be mentally well. We have to make sure that we're like the supplements and just that we're that's the number one thing.
Advocating for Personal Health
00:56:13
Speaker
So typically when I meet with my clients,
00:56:14
Speaker
The one of the first questions is like, what supplements are you taking? What is your medical history? What does like, what does your health look like? I can't support your mental health without understanding your physical health. If you're someone that's chronically ill and you're having a lot of physical health issues that could be connecting that a hundred percent, not could be, but they are, um, connecting to your mental health and we have to be able to work on both. I can't just, you know, tell you, well, my counseling supports are going to help you to not feel depressed.
00:56:44
Speaker
when the medication you're taking is causing you to be depressed, right? So one is tied with the other always.
00:56:52
Speaker
Yeah. And you know what the worst thing is, is like people just like, Oh, I'll take this vitamin. Right. But then I feel like we're like humanity's not in the spot right now. We're like, okay, I'll take this vitamin. And then where's the, um, like, you know how they have for, um, diabetes where they could check their insulin and like, they have a, they could put something like the freestyle or like, yeah, why can't I get that for a full blood check? Right. Because can you imagine people are like,
00:57:18
Speaker
Vitamins right now are like this, and maybe in like 30 years they won't be. Hopefully people are like, I'll just pop vitamins. And I think that's fixing it, but they don't test after to see how that affect them. So I like one of the things that, you know, I I'm not practicing what I'm preaching, but I do want to get back into more like every two weeks, getting blood tests. Because if you're making micro adjustments, how do you measure those as whether they're effective or not? Maybe you've got a real
00:57:47
Speaker
bad batch of vile Omega, which has a lot of, you know, you know, mercury in it. And now you notice that your levels are all messed up because you cheaped out on a vitamin or whatever. Yeah. You need to constantly be monitoring that stuff if you're an advocate for your physiology and you're trying to get things right, because most optimal looks and feels different than spiked or deprived in a certain area.
00:58:17
Speaker
Yeah. And I mean, we're, I'm obviously not a naturopath. I'm not a doctor. I'm not giving any of that advice, but since there is a lot of, just from what I've read to the disclaimer here, um, there is a lot of, um, research that supports the difference between synthetic and naturally sourced vitamins. I think there's a huge, huge piece to kind of read into that and look like you're saying the quality of the stuff you're taking because
00:58:42
Speaker
I don't know. We're in a, we're in an easy fix society, right? Like my back hurts. I need a new mattress. Um, this like, rather than, okay, maybe I need to stretch an exercise and move my body. Um, you know, we're, we're just the same thing with vitamins. Like, Oh, I don't sleep. I'm going to take melatonin.
00:58:58
Speaker
rather than cut back my screen time. So again, it's, and I'm not on blame people, right? Like I don't blame people because to an extent, like when, when you're in this hustle and bustle society, like when do you have time to do this research? When do you have time to be an expert at this? We can't be experts at everything. And it is really time consuming to find the right information, to have supportive research. Unfortunately, from my personal experience, our doctors are not the people who are going to give us the information that we're looking for. We're lucky, we're lucky to get 15 minutes, you know,
00:59:27
Speaker
So where are we finding this?
00:59:31
Speaker
But I do think there are professionals like, for example, in terms of mental health, you need strategies on how to increase some of your quality of life and find ways to kind of get past the sleep deprivation, get past, you know, the mental low distress that you're feeling and figure out how to manage it. Go to an expert. You want to increase your vitamins. Go to an expert. Go to the people who know how to help you with this. Don't just try to be an expert yourself at it all, because I don't, there's a reason why people have their professions, right? And I think we minimize that sometimes.
01:00:01
Speaker
Yeah. And if you go to, you have 15 minutes with your doctor and she's got to like compress what you've been going through the past three months, there's no chance. Some advice that I was given that I implemented, if you're going to go to your family doctor, like come strapped, meaning that like you've spent weeks
01:00:19
Speaker
preparing and saying, hey, this is the research I've done. This is what I think. What do you think? Because like, if you don't do that, this is what doctors typically do, especially I find to females because I just feel like, you know, you go in there and you're like, this is how I feel. And they're like, Oh, you're just a mom.
01:00:36
Speaker
right? Like sometimes it's like that where I'm like, but like, I guess for men, it's a little different where I heard someone talking about this on podcasts in Canada. It's like, okay, if you want a prescription for X and you've done your research, you better show up in emergency with your leg off.
01:00:52
Speaker
Right. Where in the US, it's basically a Skype call or a Zoom call. And this is what
Happiness and Personal Fulfillment
01:00:57
Speaker
I was thinking about trying to optimize whatever. And then they digitally fax or EDI the script to your pharmacy. The access to medication is much easier in the US where a lot of Canadian entrepreneurs are setting up shop in US, but not Canada because Canada is too hard to get into that space.
01:01:20
Speaker
it's very difficult. So come with some research already, and then what you recommend, like your doctor can obviously be the final say or say, no, let's try this first. But if you do that, don't show up at your doctor and say, hey, you got a tummy ache. And what do you think? And they'll be like, yeah, get out of here. You have to have some kind of
01:01:42
Speaker
do the work for them and they'll be like the almost like the trigger, but you got to build the whole, you know, lack of better. I know you are like, you're preparing your case, like, and you have to almost think ahead, right? Like, what are they going to ask? What are you going to want to know? Um, we do this with our kids, but we don't think about doing that for ourselves. Right? So if your child is sick and you're going to take them to the doctor, you prepare this whole case of like what I've tried, what I've done, the symptoms. Yeah.
01:02:10
Speaker
What it's been happening? What's the normal pattern? How is this different? We prepare this whole case because this child can speak for themselves. So when you're going for yourself, you have to do the same thing. Prepare your whole case of what's been going on. Um, I know a lot of people are like recently have, I've been hearing this, but you're going to a doctor and you're like, okay, I'm here for X, Y, and Z. They're like, well, we're going to tackle X. But if you want to talk about Y and Z, you have to come back and book another appointment. There's been a lot of like, I think since like,
01:02:37
Speaker
Again, pandemic, I think family doctors are getting a lot of pushback in terms of their practice and how they're how they're treating patients. And there's a lot of stop to like virtual appointments. There's there's quite a bit of pushback in different ways. But I think one of them is the billing piece and they are, yeah, they're cutting down on kind of like if you're going in there, expect to just talk about the one thing.
01:02:59
Speaker
be an advocate for your own health, do your research, kind of get ready, build your case. As a person that like I've openly admitted that like maybe 10 years ago I had a lot of issues with depression during the winter and stuff and I was like trying to fix all of that stuff. And for me, I noticed it when, and like I've been fine ever since with vitamin D proper exercise, getting light is that it,
01:03:26
Speaker
It's if it feels not normal, like not your normal self, it's probably worth talking to someone before it gets too bad. I remember just driving in one day. It's like a very long time ago. I'm like, I really dislike myself, right? I really don't like who but the thoughts were coming from not me. It was almost like
01:03:45
Speaker
they were imposed on me. I was like, that wasn't even me. I don't normally feel that way. And that is really the body's way of telling like, hey, look, things aren't right here. And for me, I would say for a lot of people, it's like that whole, you wake up in the morning at five or whatever, it's dark, and you get out of the institution when it's dark. And for me, it was a lack of sunlight and being outside and fresh air. But yeah, if you don't,
01:04:14
Speaker
people advocate for your own mental physical health, and also everyone listening to this, everyone in the world has the right to feel happy. If you're not happy, seek that out. You don't have to say, you know what, this is, I guess, as good as it gets. No, it can get better. But don't get greedy, right? But don't settle.
01:04:33
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Yeah. But how do you find that balance? Right. Don't settle, but don't get greedy. Yeah. It's almost like, you know, situational based where you're like, imagine you got a raise from your boss, you're super happy, but then you're like, can I get another raise?
01:04:50
Speaker
like that's obviously an extreme example i mean you you climb a mountain then you climb you're super happy your adrenaline's at the top you're yeah then there's another mountain to climb there's always going to be a mountain to climb yeah i would say for a point where you're like this is it i'm i'm at the peak of my happiness there is no peak right
01:05:06
Speaker
Yeah, that's the whole thing of the seeking and the completion of tasks with greed. There's never, when I'm saying, you know, you shouldn't be unhappy, it's like you should, happiness for me, and a lot of like, people online that I hear that are Buddhist meditation practitioners, either religiously or secularly, meaning non-religious meditation mindfulness practice, like John Kabat-Zinn and other
01:05:32
Speaker
people in the medical space of meditation for mindfulness and growing gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, which is empathy and all that is is is not from seeking and dopamine like task one complete task to complete that will never create will not never but like that will never Fulfill you from the inside like you need to feel happy without trying and that to me is really
01:06:00
Speaker
you know, just not, not completing things, but just, um, I would say unplugging for me has been like, uh, you ever just like have a nap and then you wake up, you're like, man, I feel great that that the equivalent of that for being awake is kind of doing nothing or unplugging and not being con
01:06:17
Speaker
hitting screens or what you're saying, Paulina, is connecting with someone you love, connecting with a friend, a family member, and just having that human level of interaction like, hey, did you hear this? Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, that does suck. Let's go beat them up. Like that kind of stuff, right? Like, you know, a mob mentality. For me, that's mental health at its prime. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. I also think like being intentional and I think planning.
01:06:45
Speaker
we sometimes just get into so used to just like go, go, go and like complete task eight. And we're looking like we're hoping this gives us the satisfaction that we're looking for without really examining like, what are my core values? Who am I as a person? And what's bringing me joy? What is it in my life that I'm seeking? What's my purpose? Like without getting deep, we're always going to hit surface, right? We're always, we're never actually going to feel that true fulfillment and that true, um, satisfaction. If we're just always hiding surface,
01:07:14
Speaker
So look at it, like what is it? What actually gives you that, that great feeling of achievement? Is it having quality time with your kid? Is it getting that promotion? Is it?
01:07:26
Speaker
working towards finding a new job? Do you want to change careers? What's doing it for you? Right? It sounds like happiness is just a collection of these high points in your life. It's just a collection of moments and not necessarily a state that we are in, but a collection of moments. It's a spectrum. And if that's the case, if life is just a collection of happy moments,
01:07:51
Speaker
The opposite of that would be sadness. So it's just sadness with the collection of happy moments, is that? Yes. And that is the most succinctly way I've ever heard it put. I know. You just like crack the code. That is, that's exactly you. So you got it. So like, like just put a TM at the end or like a, but so what you, that is exactly it. That's how we're, I would say majority of humanity is. Yeah. However, the reality is flipped.
01:08:18
Speaker
It's a collection of sadness, but your state, that's pretty bad. Raise mental health, probably a lot of sad events, but your state is happiness. It comes from within. It's not the reverse. That is true. That whole mental health maybe comes from a lack of acceptance, not being able to face what's reality and what's not, and accepting the fact that life is
01:08:47
Speaker
And you know, like that, that's the timeline of life, right? It is. And it's, and if we don't have this bigger picture in mind, right? If we don't have these like greater goals in this, like that life is bigger than just these moments, these small moments of like bad things that are happening in these, no matter how great, like it could be your loved one passing.
01:09:05
Speaker
But it is a chapter. It's a moment in your life and life is bigger than that. And if we lose sight of that, and if we focus on these moments and there can be times in your life when there is one after the other, we spiral. We spiral into a deep, deep, deep hole of
01:09:19
Speaker
life really sucks right now. And it's so easy to lose sight of the fact that, but this is not forever. It's, it's, it's just where we are right now. So that's why when I talk again, one of the things I do with my client is just so much goal planning and talking about like, what is like, what's your purpose? What is life for you? What do you want to achieve? What's going to bring you happiness? Um, have things to look towards and focus on. Um, and we're, we're, as humans, we're,
01:09:47
Speaker
having to constantly produce, we're having to constantly change and create new goals and meet our goals. That's the only way we do feel that accomplishment. But when we focus on the wrong ones, like all of our joy coming from just clicking off our tasks to-do list at work, we're never going to get that, right? So it has to be true to our values and to our core and to who we are. So a lot of looking in as to what it like, who am I? What do I want? What does happiness mean to me?
01:10:16
Speaker
and then basing your to-do list on, off of that. Yep. And, uh, if you work extra and harder, you'll be even more unhappy. And I said more on like more on happy because and more on that later, because if you're, um, this is so good.
01:10:43
Speaker
like I had a whole thing, lost it. So anyway, so as you can see, we're just clearly scratching the surface on mental health. Like I know I speak on behalf of everyone listening and that ever will listen. Pauline, we'd love to have you back for another
01:10:58
Speaker
round two, you know, n meaning like indefinitely, you're an incredible value add to the entire planet. And anytime you speak about trying to help people feel better about themselves where there's not enough awareness around this stuff, there probably never will be. And as long as you're ushering in that,
01:11:18
Speaker
you know, you probably die happy because you helped people almost like a charity that you get paid for it, which is a blessing. Yeah. It's a good gig. I can't lie.
Conclusion: Intentional Living
01:11:29
Speaker
Yeah. And one thing I would say for me as well is
01:11:34
Speaker
I know this sounds oversimplifying, but if we're saying that completing tasks will never bring happiness or meaningful happiness, I found doing nothing extremely meaningful. Almost like you're like, you look back at the other day and you're like, what'd I do? I'm like, nothing.
01:11:52
Speaker
Yeah. And then the next day when you're at work, you're like, let's go. You're like fired up. It's almost like you're recharged. Yeah. Like you'll never dig your way out of the hole. Like you're digging down. Right. You have to not dig and then, you know, the dirt, I guess, pushes you back up to the surface. Right. That's a really great thing. Yeah.
01:12:10
Speaker
If you can financially afford to not do anything, don't do it. And if they give you four tasks to complete that day, don't tell them that you completed the fourth one at noon because they'll give you three more. Yeah, exactly. Be intentional with that. Yeah. Be intentional with your days and your time and respect yourself as it, not just as an employee, but just really as a person. Like at the end of the day, we're not just these AI robots that are here to produce like X amount of work. Like we're people.
01:12:36
Speaker
So there has to be, um, we can't lose that humanity. We can't lose this like idea that we're, we're still humans that are trying to live a whole life. That's complicated as it is on its own without having to feel like we're, we're constantly needing to produce for someone else. So that way we can live, right? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Um, what are, what are some changes you guys are going to make? My, my two work from home buddies here. Changes. Um, yeah.
01:13:06
Speaker
I'm not entirely sure. Clear my skin. I have a couple of meetings this afternoon. Oh, um, yeah, I guess step outside. That's it. I like it. I rarely do. I have two things. Rui, you're going to take lunches. I took lunch. You're going to eat. Not at your desk. Not at your house. Hey, hey, hey, drive, really drive over to my house. Yeah. I got something for you.
01:13:34
Speaker
There you go. I won't be home, but we'll have to reschedule, but drive over. No, drive over. I like, I'll make it worth your while. And this will kind of, you know, you need to get out. Okay. Don't say, Oh, when, what do you say to me the other day? Like, Oh, when I get, uh, I got to upgrade my bike before I come over.
01:13:52
Speaker
Yeah, like what? Who says that? Hold on. Hold on. Did I say I'm going to upgrade my bike before I come over? I probably did. Maybe that's a little. I'm looking to upgrade my bike this week. So I'll be over on Friday. Fair enough. Okay. All right. That's fine. I just got my license, man. Yeah. License to kill? Yeah. License to drive. Don't get me started on motorcycles.
01:14:17
Speaker
I'll take you on a ride, Logan. I'll drive beside you guys in my safe SUV. I just want to be in that little side car. I love that. It's the connection and that's what we need. We need that human connection. So if you guys are going to cut on the motorcycle, I'm here for it.
01:14:38
Speaker
Um, Logan, you got to get out of that basement. You got to go like have lunch in your dining room and you got to take intentional time to do that. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to go up those stairs and ask my wife if she can let me out. Yeah. Knock on the door. Yeah. So if you're allowed out of the dungeon.
01:14:56
Speaker
Yeah, I joke. But, you know, yeah, actually today is the first day ever in the first day ever. Today is the first day in three, four months that we now have two cars because my wife's car broke down and we ordered it from Honda and it took like five months or it was going to take three months, but then it took four, then it followed up to five. So today's the first day that I can leave the house on my own with my own car. She works Monday and Tuesday, sometimes Wednesday.
01:15:25
Speaker
And I and I told her, I was like, you know what? I'm going to go get shawarma corners today. I like it because I can. You know, she's like, yeah, just don't go go nuts all week. Like if you want to leave the house is the first day when I can actually leave. Good. I'm going to leave. I'll meet you at the at the pawn shop. Oh, yeah. Nice. And maybe a selling. What do you buy? I don't know. What are you chewing? What are you chewing?
01:15:52
Speaker
Oh, thank you. I'm selling Rolexes. What's talking about pawn shop? You remember pawn shop? Yeah. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Oh, okay. Well, it's this thing you put in your mouth and you chew it. Oh, pawn. Yeah. P-A-N-N, not P-A. What's the difference?
01:16:16
Speaker
What about you, Paulina? What are you going to do now that you're, um, have this conversation and you're all invigorated from the knowledge that you currently possess that you've bestowed on us? Luckily, I'm going to implement some exercise. That is honestly one area that I'm, I'm, I will say like, I'm the one to put that aside and to say, Oh, when I have time, when this is done, so I'm going to get off and I'm going to do some stretching at least to get started. And then it's a beautiful day and I'm going to go for a walk.
01:16:46
Speaker
This is awesome, man. But you know what? I feel like none of us are going to do anything we said. Ah, that is the truth. You know, just continue up and you're not getting up. I'm definitely working. I'm so happy you said that. Do not make my hopes feel for nothing.
01:17:05
Speaker
No, no, no. No, I'm sorry you said that. Accountability buddies. So that is like the one thing I always say. I'm like, find someone that's going to help you stay accountable. Find someone that's going to say, did you do this? Send me a picture. Show me proof. The other day I literally was forcing my coworker to go out and sit on her porch and I made her send me a selfie of her sitting on her porch. So like just accountability. So I want to see a picture of you guys out of your rooms.
01:17:33
Speaker
out of your office rooms. Um, at least at some point of the day, send it to each other if you want to keep yourselves accountable. And then I'll, I'll show you a picture of my walk. Maybe we'll like be having our phones out as we're walking. Paulina can be with each other and be like, who's this? Not by holding a phone when you're walking. Oh, that's Paulina. She's a mental health worker. I don't like her. I don't like mental health. I don't like people.
01:17:59
Speaker
I don't like block. I'm going to keep looking on my phone. Yeah. I'm like, oh yeah. I have tech neck and cell phone elbow. I'm trying to add like, I don't know, Nintendo switch knee. Is that the term tech neck? I have that. So tech neck is looking down like this.
01:18:14
Speaker
Yes. And then cell phone elbow is basically, you know, when your arms like this, like this, and then you, you supinate, and then you look down. So it's kind of like you're doing that. And that that's pretty much tech neck and cell phone. So if you want to fix tech neck, all you got to do is put your bum and your
01:18:33
Speaker
i'm gonna pause there you're gonna put your bum against the wall and your shoulder blades against the wall and then you just do like wall angels but your head should be back and the most unflattering one is you know you do the chin tux so you get the triple chin and uh
01:18:49
Speaker
Yeah, people are sitting, right? So they're always looking forward. Yeah. You can lie on your stomach because if you lie on your stomach watching TV like a teenager like, oh, I love backstreet boys or whatever. Yeah. Like your your back is like that, you know, so you're, you know, just put your body in weird ass, weird positions and you probably live longer. Yeah.
01:19:09
Speaker
I was going to say my kids won't let me walk with them because I, you know, I walk backwards and side, I do side steps and they're like, and then my daughter the other day said to Jimmy like, and she's like, uh, one of my friends thinks you're really weird. And I was like, why? It's like, well, they saw you standing there and you smiled at them.
01:19:32
Speaker
I was like, oh shoot. She didn't say anything like, can you wait in the car or anything? But I'm like, I'm weird, eh? And she's like, yeah, that's okay, I'm weird too. I was like, I love you. Let's walk backwards down the sidewalk and freak people out. Sorry, you were gonna say.
01:19:52
Speaker
I don't know what I was going to say. I just said I'm going to start doing some weird positions to fix my tech. I need to do some too because I got terrible tech neck. Yeah, I do. I have like the bulge like back here. Yeah. Yeah. The good news is it's all fixable. All you have to do is stop doing everything you're doing on a regular basis. If you sit at a desk or are you on screens and want to be healthy, all you have to do is not work and not look at screens. Yeah.
01:20:19
Speaker
Yeah, or actually, you know, people that have pillows, like everyone on their on their bed. Yeah, it pushes your neck forward. Right. Just to let you know, pillows do not help tech neck. Ideally, over time, you want to like reduce your pillow girth until you're like really, really thin and sleep with no pillow. But you don't go to that right away. You wake up with like a really hurt neck.
01:20:41
Speaker
Just lie right on the floor. You got hardwood or you got a bathroom that's clean. Just lie right on it. And it just, you know, you got to melt that butter, right? It's just lie there. And if you really want to have good posture, this is a weird hack. Get some hardwood floor or like line a hard floor and get a projector, point it right at the white ceilings that we all have and do mouse and keyboard on the ground. You're completely lying flat, looking straight up.
01:21:08
Speaker
And Projectors now on Amazon, I'll put a link in the description, which I get commission for. I won't do that, but yeah, they're now like, like $150 bucks, whatever. Yeah, they know they used to be. Yeah. Yeah.
01:21:22
Speaker
cool. That last one I'm not going to do because it's weird, but it might be the wall angels that sounded it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wall angels. Yeah. It's good. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you, Paulina. I appreciate you having me. Thank you, Rui. And we'd love to have you back. We'll see you guys next time on Code Play Culture. Hope you guys have a great day and take care. Bye.